How to communicate on social networks: Odnoklassniki and VKontakte

This article is about how to properly start communicating on the Internet, social networks, chat and contact. Here the Russian folk trick of starting a conversation with any people by correspondence is revealed.

In general, the Internet is a somewhat new topic for people, but in large cities everyone has long been on this Internet up to their ears, now on smartphones, and now only there they can be found.

It can be easier for the person sitting next to you on the subway or on the bus to write something on WhatsApp, Viber or VKontakte, and he will answer you faster. And, no matter how you look at it, you increasingly have to start communicating with new people using electronics.

In this way, you can start a conversation with your future soul mate, a strong friend, a business partner, an employer, an employee, a hobby buddy, or a neighbor. It’s now easier to meet even your next-door neighbor on VK than in the yard.

In order not to become history, as the dinosaurs did in their time, it is vitally important for us to master this skill.

We will begin our applied article with an overview of the current situation in communication. Let's look at its pros and cons.

Internet communication culture

This is a reference to the culture of communication on the Internet. She is, yes! Only schoolchildren and poorly educated people do not know about this. Because as soon as you observe these two categories of people, you can cry from frustration and shame. The latter falls more into the second category.

I just want to ask the especially gifted, do they think it’s normal, when they come to the clinic, to curse the person they’re talking to in line with a good, selective curse? Or a cashier at a store? Or someone on public transport? No? Or is this normal for you? If it’s normal, then it’s a very, very pity, and there’s nothing to talk to you about. Sorry.

But what if not? If in real life, you never allow yourself to be rude or obscene towards others, but on the Internet you easily respond to your opponents with such obscenities that would make the shoemaker Uncle Petya from the village of Malye Petukhi embarrassed?

Tell me, what difference do you see? Is it that, excuse me, they can’t kick you on the Internet or something worse? Does this loosen your tongue? Nobody sees you in the eyes, and therefore you’re not ashamed? How, in general, can one not be ashamed of behaving this way?

Personally, I don't understand. I'm ashamed of you! You read such pearls, look at the avatar, and there is a seemingly decent girl, a mother of two children, but she behaves... disgustingly. What can such a person teach children?

I'll tell you some secrets:

Such communication does not show your coolness, but on the contrary.
You do not in any way scare or offend your interlocutor. Moreover, if your opponent answers you softly, censoriously, but extremely sarcastic or even sarcastic, then you are most likely communicating with a top troll. His only goal is to bring you into negative emotions, make you disgrace yourself, and assert yourself at your expense. He can also screenshot your correspondence and show it somewhere, with appropriate comments.
Do you think nothing will happen to you? Everything is anonymous on the Internet! Alas and ah. The Internet is now regulated by law just like other “public places.” You need to think about what you say and write - you will be held accountable for even less. And they will definitely find you if the subject of the dispute raises questions among law enforcement agencies. Even from a fake page.

And this is just a small part. Many people make fools of themselves. I would like to remind you once again that the Internet is the same place as a park, a store, a games room, a cinema, and so on. And here, too, you need to behave civilly and decently.

The article is almost on the topic of how to come up with a nickname. We have listed examples and ways to choose a cool online nickname.

Danger No. 2: envy and aggression

Many psychologists admit: not all people like to see someone else’s happy life: “I’m in the Maldives,” “My first boomer,” “My wedding in Cyprus,” etc. It is clear that when exhibiting “status” photographs, we want to show No one advertises the best moments of their life – the worst, but for many virtual “friends” this causes irritation, aggression and envy. It seems to them that life has failed, since they have not been to the Maldives, they had a wedding in a Moscow apartment, and they drive old Zhiguli cars. Therefore, it is better to post simpler photos on social networks. And share your successes with those closest to you: those who will sincerely be happy for you.

How to communicate online: basic rules

The most important thing is not to lose face and behave like a human being. Well, this is already clear to most, and therefore I will no longer focus on it. But there are other rules:

The phrase “Hello” in one single message is evil. Because it is not clear what the interlocutor needs. Maybe he wants to talk, maybe he has a request, maybe something else. For example, I will answer “Hello” in the same way, and very often the conversation will end there. Write in detail: “Hi, I just remembered that you have a good detective library. Maybe you can give me a couple of books to read?”
Your messages do not convey intonation. Therefore, you can mislead your interlocutor and even offend him with a simple “Well, ok.” Usually, emoticons or an ordinary bracket give the intonation color to the message.
Don't overuse emoticons and stickers. This irritates many people. In addition, it impairs the readability of the text. And, of course, don’t even think about inserting emojis into business correspondence.
It is not very decent to WRITE IN CAPS. On the Internet, this is the equivalent of raising your voice. And, again, reduces readability.
If you can’t answer now, say so. It is better to immediately say that you are a little busy than to pretend that you did not notice the message. Believe me, the interlocutor knows that you are ignoring him and may be offended.
No need to split messages. Because
very awkward to read
part of the meaning is lost
Read also: Managing relations in the organization's workforce
and generally speaking
do not you know
What part of the message can you already respond to?
Re-read messages before sending! Because sometimes the built-in dictionaries do not write what you want. And in a hurry, you can type something unclear, and your interlocutor will have to guess what you meant.
Try to write correctly. Don't ignore punctuation. They influence the meaning of the message. Remember the role of just a comma: “Execute, you cannot have mercy” or “You cannot execute, but have mercy.” Agree, the difference is significant.
There is no need to write at inconvenient times. For example, at night. Unless you are sure that your interlocutor is not sleeping.

Total gadgetization of communication

And, of course, all these electronic means of communication are far from the most sincere way of communication, on the one hand. On the other hand, they allow you to communicate at a distance. And in a big city, people and friends began to meet even less often, because these modern gadgets make communication easier.

Because you know what's going on. Either a friend will send you a video with his daughter, or you will send him photos of your homemade product. And it seems like everyone is communicating, even communicating even more than before. There are these advantages.

On the other hand, if you give small children all these gadgets, then they very quickly become terribly capricious and irritable. I try to make sure they don’t even watch cartoons too much.

When children don’t remember cartoons, well, good, it’s better to go for a walk, make some kind of stool, play with a toy train or make one out of chairs... Well, something real, material, and not virtual, digital.

But, nevertheless, the age of digital gizmos and such communication, it is inevitably gaining territory and somehow we need to interact with this whole economy. And now it often happens that future spouses meet on the Internet.

By the way, it’s easier to find like-minded people this way. For example, some club for lovers of butterflies, hang gliding, cross stitch, rock climbing... Someone is going to go to the mountains in Crimea, for example. It’s much easier for him to find guys on the Internet: from all over the USSR: Russia, Ukraine, Kyrgyzstan, Belarus, Kazakhstan - he gathered a team and went. Everyone came together at the right time and went on a hike. All the guys came together like this, cut from the same cloth, as they say. Cool!

And to do this you need to be able to start communicating with people on the Internet. This is an important skill. Still, these are not only evil, but also good, useful, convenient things. It’s like an ax: you can chop off heads with it, but you can also chop off firewood. Or you can build (cut down) a house with an axe.

How to chat with a girl online

Popular question. We have already answered this in the article on how to meet a girl on the Internet. There were also examples of correspondence and weak points. Here we will only slightly supplement it with safe topics for communication.

Hobbies

. An eternal topic on which you can communicate, if desired, indefinitely. After all, almost every person has some hobbies. Maybe there is no full-fledged hobby, but in any case, we all somehow relax.

Relationship

. You can always carefully ask what kind of men a girl likes. Just build a dialogue without vulgarity and do not insist on this topic at the very beginning of your acquaintance.

Music, cinema, books

. This is also one of the win-win topics; you can always discuss the latest movies. Talk about your favorite films and musical groups. And if a girl loves to read, you can always discuss your favorite literary genres and authors.

Travel and leisure

. You can always discuss your past vacation or holidays. Talk about the places you want to visit. Or you can plan a weekend together.

Favorite places in the city

. If you are from the same city, you can always talk about your favorite parks, cafes, cinemas, and so on.

Animals

. Almost all girls love animals, many have favorite pets, and you can chat about them. I’ll say right away, for example, I can chat about cats for hours =)

Work or study

. Another eternal and neutral topic. In addition, you can always ask the girl how her day was. It will look cute and with a touch of care.

Study the questionnaire/profile

So, the first and basic rule is that you need to get to know the person before you enter into a dialogue with him. Check out his profile. Look at the photo - what is shown on it, what photo was chosen, read about his hobbies, pay attention to the spelling, whether he indicated his marital status and other facts. After you make your first impression of a stranger, use what you've learned to start communicating. If you have found common hobbies and interests, then half the battle is already done, all that remains is to write a message and start a conversation, you definitely have something to talk about, at least in the first three sentences.

Proper communication with a guy

In fact, communicating online with a girl and a guy has a lot in common:

many topics (see above);

constructing questions (ask open-ended questions);

unobtrusiveness and originality;
and so on.

However, you can add a few more items to the general list.

Firstly, and this is important. Be yourself, don't try to make the guy like you.
It is important not to look sad and talk about how bad the day was, how cloudy the weather was, and in general, everything is decay. Guys don't really like girls who are always whining.
Try not to look vulgar and frivolous. You will only lose reputation points in the eyes of a man.
Guys like to know who they are talking to. Therefore, if he doesn’t yet know what you look like, don’t torment him.

Have you been wondering for a long time whether a guy likes you or not? We will help you find out.

Don't share your location

Information about your location, entering the vast expanses of virtual space, becomes a powerful trump card in the hands of ill-wishers. On the one hand, knowing your usual route, an attacker can track you and your loved ones, and the consequences of this can be very sad. On the other hand, thanks to the information received, scammers will know how long you are not at home, which increases your risk of becoming a victim of burglary.

How to communicate with foreigners?

There is one subtlety in the topic of communicating with foreigners - are you expecting something specific from this communication? That is, if you want to marry a foreigner and go abroad for permanent residence, this is a separate issue. Girls write entire manuals on how to lasso a handsome guy from the Florida coast. We will not focus on this, we will list only the basic things.

Firstly, the biggest difficulty when communicating with foreigners is the language barrier. It’s good if you and your interlocutor know at least a little one language. For example, I always ask if a person knows English, if so, then there will be half as many problems in communication.

If you both speak completely different languages and have nothing in common, then only a translator will help in communication. Moreover, you should not always rely on Google translator. He very often distorts the meaning.

However, if the purpose of your communication is to practice a foreign language and nothing more. Then it’s worth switching from communicating on social networks to special sites - language social networks:

Don't impose

What is meant by this word? Writing one or two messages a day is normal, but 5-10 is already too much? That's not the point at all. If you wrote a message to a man, but he never responded, you can try again. If the second message was ignored, retreat. The same applies to dialogues. It’s one thing when you correspond intensively, ask each other questions, share impressions, discuss something and “stay in touch” all the time, and quite another when a man answers your messages in monosyllables and once a week.

The main advantage of virtual communication is that you don’t owe anyone anything. You can interrupt the correspondence at any time or, conversely, transfer it to real time. During communication, you have the opportunity to really get to know the person one way or another and get an idea about him in order to feel more confident and relaxed during the date. The main thing is not to be shy, and if you are looking for your love using the Internet, then this is your choice, and that means it is definitely the right one!

Topics to avoid when communicating

There are a number of topics that are considered indecent to discuss with strangers. This doesn't just apply to the Internet. But for some reason, it is in it that the rule of the taboo is sometimes forgotten. So, on what topics is it better not to ask questions, and in general, skip them at first:

family,
former relationship,
sex,
material well-being,
health,
policy,
religion,
nationality,
personal troubles,
war and violence,
death.

As you can see, some of these topics are too personal, some have a pronounced negative connotation, and some affect the worldview of the interlocutor. Without knowing a person, it is very easy to offend him or bring him into the negative, even without meaning to, by touching on this or that topic from the wrong side.

Meet new friends from the virtual world only in crowded places

It is likely that you have been communicating in virtual space for quite some time. From a photograph you know the appearance of a new friend (which may belong to another person), from his stories you know his occupation (this information can also easily be “embellished”), so it seems to you that your “friend” is a trusted person? It is quite possible that you are not communicating with the person whom your imagination has drawn; in addition, he may not be pursuing noble goals in relation to you. And disappointing statistics show that many people have already become victims of scammers, perverts, and pedophiles who ingratiate themselves into the trust of social network users.

Therefore, to reduce risks, choose crowded places for your first date. Thanks to this, not only you, but also your friend, who may very likely have similar concerns, will feel much calmer.

The dangers of the Internet and social networks. methodological development on the topic

“The Dangers of the Internet and Social Networks”

https://center-garmonia63.ru/index.php/delimsya-opytom/614-opasnosti-interneta-i-sotsialnykh-setej

Orlova Margarita Gennadievna, social teacher of the highest qualification category

The development of the technical process gave rise to such a phenomenon as the World Wide Web - the Internet. We can no longer imagine existence without it. It's really convenient.

And such a phenomenon of the modern Internet as social networks has gained many fans among the population. But at the same time, few of us think that a social network is not only convenience and comfort in communication, but also a potential source of danger.

A social network is a virtual community consisting of people with the same interests, inclinations, activities or the same background. In addition, there are social networks not only for searching for people based on certain interests, but also for the objects of these interests themselves - films, music, various Internet resources.

In other words, a social network is a platform, online service and website designed to build, reflect and organize social relationships on the Internet.

Each of us created profiles for ourselves on at least one of the currently popular sites: VKontakte, Odnoklassniki, Facebook, Twitter. The explosion of interest in social networks has created new opportunities for communication, friendship, romance and business relationships around the world - a fact that has not gone unnoticed by the authors of malware and organized cybercrime.

According to published data from the all-Russian study “Index of Digital Literacy of Citizens of the Russian Federation,” conducted in 2020, more than 60% of Russians regularly use Internet social networks.

The three most popular social networks include: VKontakte (70.4% of respondents), Instagram (43.6%) and Facebook (29.1%). The social network Odnoklassniki (27.9%) lags slightly behind the leaders, but the audience of Twitter and Linkedin, according to a survey conducted by ROCIT in partnership with Vengo Consult, is several times smaller - 10.3% and 3.2%, respectively.

According to statistics, among children aged 12-16 years, 85% use the Internet; 95% of teenagers access the Internet from home computers; 50% go online while they are alone at home. What can happen to children on the Internet and social networks? Even an accidental click on a pop-up banner or following a link can lead to a site with dangerous content! What threats may await our children?

Pornography is dangerous with excessive information and crude, often perverted, naturalism. Interferes with the development of natural emotional attachments.
Drugs - the Internet is full of news about the “benefits” of using marijuana, recipes and tips for making “potions”.
Dating sites, social networks, blogs and chat rooms - unfortunately, there have already been many cases where pedophiles posed as one of the children or fictional characters in order to gain their trust and have vulgar or openly sexual conversations with them or even arrange a personal meeting .
Sects - a virtual interlocutor will not grab your hand, but he is quite capable of “penetrating thoughts” and influencing views on the world.
Extremism, nationalism, fascism - all the wide possibilities of the Internet are used by representatives of extremist movements in order to lure newcomers into their ranks.
Depressive youth movements - a child may believe that scars are the best decoration, and suicide is just a way to get rid of problems (groups on social networks “Blue Whale”, “Silent House”, “Sea of Whale”, “Wake me up at 4:20” “- there are many names, but the meaning is the same: this is a scary teenage game on social networks, a kind of Death Sect that draws teenagers into its networks in the countries of the former CIS).

And that is not all. Every day social networks are increasingly capturing the attention of Internet users. This virus-like segment of the network no longer needs to advertise its positive aspects. Enthusiastic sociomaniacs with great pleasure spread news about this or that favorite social platform, luring into their ranks people who are at least somewhat interested in social networks on the Internet. But as should be expected, sooner or later, any mass gathering of people attracts lovers of profit and deception of gullible users. What is the real danger and scale of harm that social networks bring?

Danger one: privacy issues. When posting information about yourself on social networks, you must be prepared for the fact that a large number of people may see it. As a result, your private life becomes public knowledge. Think about the fact that based on your disclosed information, it is not difficult to find out your habits, the names of your friends, your route. And having this makes you an easy target for attacks by cyberbullies. And, for example, bailiffs sometimes use social networks to find defaulters or obtain information about their property.

The second danger: hacking and password cracking. Even if you take every precaution to protect information about yourself from people you don't know, these efforts may ultimately prove futile. There are many hacking programs that help you guess passwords for popular websites and hack them. Therefore, set complex passwords (from 10 characters) for personal data and then the probability of selection will be proportional to the length of the password (the longer, the more difficult).

Danger three: virtual doubles. From time to time you reveal information about yourself: your date of birth, information about your family, your activities, preferences in literature and cinema, travel, where you live, etc. Someone can steal this data, put it together and create your virtual double. All that remains is to supplement the profile with your photo, which can easily be taken from your blog, diary, or even your account on the same social network and put together some facts of your biography, which can also be easily taken from the same sources.

About half an hour and your virtual double is practically indistinguishable from yourself, with the exception of small details like an ID card, which is still difficult to check online. And this virtual double can do whatever its author wants, and not you. For example, distribute spam or hateful texts, incite conflicts, and so on. You just have to pay for it. It’s new and maybe even old acquaintances who will turn away from you after allegedly viewing your “VKontakte” page.

What will your classmates, your friends or a future employer think when they see a page with your name and hundreds of other sexually themed photos in the album? Everything can be even sadder if your enemy was not too lazy to find out your real address and telephone number.

Danger four: extortion and blackmail. Online extortion already exists. And you may be offered to buy a page that discredits you for a very small amount, in the form of express payment card codes for a particular cellular network or one of the many types of network payment for services. We also run the risk of abuse, intimidation and harassment on social media. Establishing friendly relations with the purpose of meeting in person, entering into a relationship with him, blackmail and exploitation can become especially dangerous. When communicating in person, the attacker, most often introducing himself as a peer, gains your trust, and then tries to find out personal information (address, phone number, etc.) and arrange a meeting. Sometimes such people lure information from you, which they can then use to blackmail you, for example, asking you to send personal photos or provoking you to perform indecent acts in front of a webcam.

The fifth danger: Internet addiction. Social networking sites can be addictive: they are very easy to use, and they open you up to a whole world of information that was previously unknown. Social networks give you the opportunity to make yourself known to the whole world. You can go to your VKontakte, Odnoklassniki, Facebook pages many times a day and spend a lot of time just reading about what is happening in the lives of your friends. You can spend study or work time on this and spend less time on school, work, friends, yourself and your family.

However, not all respondents admit the fact of their Internet addiction (only 6%).

Danger six: online dating. Another danger is online dating. There are already many deceived brides who met on social networks. There are also generous suitors who have lost large sums of money sent “for travel” to the girl to the place of acquaintance.

Danger eight: harm to health. Social networks can be harmful to health. British scientist Arik Sigman warned against being overly interested in websites, which in the modern world are increasingly replacing communication with real people.

The scientist argues that a lack of communication can negatively affect the body's immune system, hormonal balance, artery function and thinking processes. In the long term, this increases the risk of developing various diseases, including cancer, cardiovascular disease and dementia. According to statistics, the number of hours that the average Russian spends per day communicating with family, friends and colleagues has decreased from 6 hours in 1997 to almost 2 hours in 2020. Over the same period of time, electronic media and Internet use increased from 4 to almost 8 hours per day.

There are so many threats on social networks that it’s worth wondering: isn’t it better to communicate in real life?

The dangers lurking in social networks are more than real. You can enjoy using social media, but you should do so thoughtfully and with caution. Use common sense when sharing your personal information with others. Be prepared for the fact that your page may become public at any time. Talk about this with your friends, children, tell them about the possible consequences of thoughtlessly posting this or that information, or simply monitor their actions on the Internet.

And yet, despite all the negative sides of social networks, one cannot help but admit that there is no turning back. And no one will be able to refuse them, because if it is a network for communication, then it is very convenient, economical and practical, if for work and creativity, then it seems fast, productive and useful. Yes, today, through these same social networks, rent a house, buy a ticket to a party and order clothes for yourself. Through the Facebook network, gather like-minded people and conduct a survey around the world, and through the Odnoklassniki social network you can communicate with relatives and wish everyone a happy birthday by giving virtual gifts. Not life, but a fairy tale! Just how it threatens to end, that is the question.

Here are some important rules:

Less specific information about your life.
Do not publish information that could indicate your home address or times when no one is there.
Do not publicly post posts about expensive purchases or transactions that could lead to the conclusion that you have a large amount of money or valuables that can be resold.
Don't describe your regular route between home and work - robbery attacks are not always random.
If you really want to share the joy of the beginning of your vacation, add a note to your message about the security alarm being turned on (even if this is not true) - this will certainly scare away “advanced” lovers of easy money

In order to protect yourself from Internet scammers, it is recommended to follow simple rules:

Create a unique, strong password.
Do not disclose personal data.
Control personal information.
Do not make purchases on social networks.
When purchasing a product, do not make an advance payment.

There are special filter programs that will help you control your child’s visits and communications on the Internet. iProtectYouPro is an Internet filter program that allows parents to limit the sites viewed by children by various parameters.

The purpose of KidsControl is to control the time a child spends on the Internet. CYBERSitter gives adults the ability to restrict children's access to inappropriate Internet resources. CyberMama will monitor the operating time, warn the child that he will soon need to rest and pause the computer when the time you set has expired.

CyberMama supports the following features: limit on total work time, support for breaks in work, support for allowed work intervals, the ability to ban the Internet, the ability to ban games/programs.

Safe communication!