Serious relationships for guys and men
For males, a serious relationship with a girl is the ultimate goal, which everyone approaches at their own pace. Some guys are initially committed to a long-term romance with the prospect of marriage, while others avoid it in every possible way while there is time for entertainment.
In accordance with prevailing stereotypes, an adult man over the age of 30 should start a family or live in a civil marriage with his chosen one. If such a relationship does not work out, then they speak either of the man’s abnormality or of bad luck.
Every guy decides for himself when to start building serious connections. It depends on individual qualities, temperament, work, ambitions, aspirations, internal beliefs and the influence of those close to them. There may be several reasons why a young man is in no hurry to form lasting relationships:
- The woman lacks a clear goal. A man is in no hurry to draw conclusions and take initiative, because he does not understand the true aspirations of his companion. Not all ladies are in the mood for a long-term relationship and are often looking for easy adventures. Many representatives of the opposite sex are hunting for “wallets”, looking for sponsors, and this is a separate format of relationships that not all guys are happy with. Until a man checks his chosen one and is convinced of her aspirations, he does not take rash steps.
- There is a feeling of discomfort. By nature, representatives of the stronger sex are leaders. They must lead the chosen one, manage the process. The exception is gigolos, who are satisfied with a powerful partner and the male’s own role to satisfy sexual needs. In other cases, a normal man feels discomfort next to his leading lady. His ego is hurt, he doesn’t know what to do.
- Dating place. For easy relationships with girls, they meet in nightclubs, bars, and entertainment venues. The atmosphere of relaxation provides for quick intimate rapprochement, relationships without obligations. When you meet someone at work, on a business trip, as a guest, or under other everyday circumstances, the impression is completely different. Here the girl can be considered as a beloved woman, wife and partner for a long-term relationship.
- The man is in no hurry to take the decisive step due to financial instability. He is not confident in the future and his abilities. The affair involves the guy spending money on gifts, entertainment, surprises for his beloved, and when living together, household expenses are added. In addition, there may be an uncertain situation when there is a move ahead or a long business trip.
- Psychological unpreparedness. Up to a certain point, guys simply enjoy life, have fun, without burdening themselves with responsibilities towards their companion. The main goal is intimate connection. Over time, such relationships become boring; you want stability, confidence, and seriousness. For every man, this moment comes at a different period of life.
In other words, internal and external factors prevent the building of a serious connection. A person’s tendency towards frivolous relationships plays a decisive role. Lovelace can remain an adventure hunter until the end of his life; it is useless to call him to seriousness. But a responsible guy takes love and love affairs seriously from a young age.
How to build relationships correctly
In every relationship there is a risk of being “left behind”, and it will never be possible to completely get rid of this possibility of events. It is within the capabilities of partners to reduce this risk to a minimum, but such work will only be fruitful if equal efforts are made jointly.
To begin with, lovers should decide what a serious relationship means (any person can probably tell you in their own words about the meaning that can be put into this concept) for each of them. Are there not significant differences in both theories and is not something of little importance for one of them that seems vitally important for the other? Mutual confessions and frank conversation will remove all existing misunderstandings and give an understanding of what young people want to get from a new relationship.
Compromise and concessions are not weakness when it comes to respecting the opinions or interests of your lover. At the beginning of the romantic period, partners tend to idealize each other and begin to feel deceived when events do not develop as in their fantasies. It is easy to avoid this if you immediately accept both the positive and negative sides of your loved one, and do not turn a blind eye to his minor shortcomings, hoping that they will eliminate themselves over time.
What girls and women think
Representatives of the fair sex think much more and more often about a stable relationship. Women are created for procreation, giving birth and raising children, and maintaining a home. When a girl says that she does not want a serious relationship, she is either outright lying, or she is not satisfied with her partner. You cannot call a relationship that does not lead to marriage frivolous. A long-term relationship, where partners feel responsible for preserving the union, compromise, and not only demand, but also give, is considered serious.
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A man must meet certain requirements, especially when it comes to having children. When a girl does not see her chosen one as a potential husband, the father of her children, there is no need to talk about any seriousness. Each representative of the fair sex has her own requirements, visions and desires, but there are several main ones:
- pleasant appearance;
- Attentive attitude;
- generosity;
- loyalty;
- financial well-being.
When the chosen one shows warmth, affection, care, is responsible for his words, clearly sees the future and can provide it, no problems arise in building a long-term relationship. A girl is ready to marry a good boyfriend at any age.
How to recognize hopeless relationships
A person who clearly understands what a “serious relationship” means will seek this understanding from his potential partner, but the goals of young people may not coincide initially. An attentive girl will easily understand whether a guy is ready to connect his future with her or perceives her as a temporary girlfriend. Here are the signs by which it is easiest to recognize a ladies' man:
- after 3-5 dates, the girl was unable to find out anything about her boyfriend other than general information;
- It is considered normal for a partner to disappear without a trace for several days, and then reappear with a carefree appearance;
- the man mocks the serious relationships that other couples have, and also openly denies the institution of marriage;
- all dates of a young couple follow the same scenario, in which the man does not strive to prove himself, but rather waits for the first step from his girlfriend;
- the guy, even after several months of close relationships, still does not introduce his chosen one to friends and relatives;
- a man never asks his girlfriend leading questions about her life and always gets off with general phrases of false interest (“How are you?”, “Well, what do you have there?”).
And finally, a guy for whom the entire description of a serious relationship fits into the concept of “keeping someone close” will under no circumstances ask his chosen one for help or participation, and will not allow a situation in which she could do this.
Advantages and disadvantages of regular meetings
Consistency means stability, confidence,
reliability. Those who strive for this will look for a responsible partner. Those who need intrigue, a sharp impression, lack of control and a minimum of obligations avoid seriousness in every possible way.
Each relationship model has advantages and disadvantages. Since regular meetings are considered the standard of communication between a man and a woman, everyone should strive for them. However, modern society is gradually moving away from standards, dictating different rules and choosing its own model of behavior. Advantages of regular meetings:
- moral and emotional calm;
- confidence in the future;
- the opportunity to make joint plans;
- support in difficult times;
- understanding;
- the opportunity to talk about feelings openly, without trying to hide true intentions and desires;
- constant sex and minimal risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection;
- accepting a partner into the circle of your friends, parents, family.
Disadvantages of a permanent partnership:
- monotony, predictability;
- lack of vivid emotions, emotional shocks;
- responsibilities;
- responsibility;
- financial expenses:
- restriction of freedom of action;
- control.
A person in a relationship practically disappears from the sight of free people. This status automatically means that “he is busy” or “she is not free.” Of course, there are situations when couples break up, but single people have a greater chance of starting a new romance. The disadvantages of regular meetings automatically turn into the advantages of non-permanent connections. Currently, the “sex without obligations” format is gaining popularity.
Features of building relationships
Not everyone who wants to can build a normal long-term relationship. The reason for this is simple ignorance of how this is done, as well as excessive demands on the partner. To create a strong union, it is recommended to adhere to certain rules.
Selecting a satellite
Mistakes happen to everyone. Not everyone knows how to understand people and correctly assess a situation. The main rule is that initially you need to choose a partner who is suitable, and not hope that he will change over time.
If after three dates the chosen one has not disappointed, and the desire to continue communication has not disappeared, then we can talk about the beginning of a relationship. How serious they will be can be understood after a month of dating. During this time, the advantages and disadvantages of the partner are usually revealed, so you need to decide whether he is suitable for further communication.
Positive attitude
After selecting and approving a worthy candidate, you need to adjust your own vision of the situation. A positive attitude makes a person attractive, interesting to communicate with, and purposeful. If a partner is constantly dissatisfied with something and makes a lot of claims, then the union will end before it can begin normally.
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Minimum control
A few decades ago, it was considered normal for a man to control a woman’s every move, and she, in turn, keeps a tight rein on him. All the time together, not a step aside, a minimum of liberties. This trend of serious relationships repels modern young people.
In the era of democracy, even when in a relationship, a person has the right to freedom, personal space and independence. There are standard conventions that should not be violated, for example, sex with another partner, flirting on the side, regularly spending time without a constant companion among friends. But the main statement is this: “If a person wants to break off a relationship, nothing will stop him.”
A long-term relationship between a man and a woman is carried out on a voluntary basis. If something doesn’t suit you, you can always say so or end the affair. Control is not needed if there is trust.
Avoid routine
When there is confidence in a partner, passivity in behavior appears. Why invent something if it is already clear where everything will lead? He or she isn't going anywhere, so you don't have to try. Perhaps this was once the case, but now the situation has changed. Routine and lack of vivid impressions lead to the destruction of the union. What is missing with one partner, they begin to look for with another. To avoid routine, you should come up with entertainment to spend time together.
Do not hurry
Initially, partners take a closer look at each other, then they begin to get used to each other, and after a while they understand whether they are suitable for a joint relationship or not. There is no need to rush to conclusions and get ahead of yourself. Let everything take its course. Within a month, the partner will show up, declare aspirations, desires, needs, and then you can decide. There is no need to rush to start living under one roof and leading a common life. There should be time for dates, surprises and surprises.
Serious relationship: what does this phrase mean?
All people, regardless of age, need a soul mate, and, starting from late adolescence, physical attraction is also added to the needs of a moral nature, expressed primarily in the desire to touch one’s chosen one. Choosing a permanent companion is almost always a process of trial and error, although each time a person may think that he has found his only happiness. Why does this happen?
The main mistake of failed relationships, revealed in the subsequent analysis of events, is the haste with which young people decide about the nature of their feelings and evaluate their partner’s reaction. What a “serious relationship” means for a teenage girl will most likely turn out to be a manifestation of paternal care on the part of a young teacher, and the clumsy coquetry of a frivolous young lady will be perceived by most guys as a call for intimacy.
Fleeting connections, if they are not a manifestation of sporting interest, leave a bitter mark on the soul, but they are also part of an invaluable experience on the path to understanding important truths. By comparing one's expectations and reality, learning to accept the individuality of a partner, a person forms his own personal idea of a serious relationship. What this phrase means, everyone will explain in their own way. And the interpretation may not coincide with the opinion of the majority, because human views can change repeatedly over the years, but this phrase will serve as a guideline in finding a partner for a specific period of life.
Signs of severity
You can determine that your partner is serious by the following signs:
- makes joint plans;
- shows a desire to be together often;
- lets you into your life, shares problems, achievements;
- delves into the partner’s problems and tries to help;
- does not cheat, does not look around at other guys or girls;
- trusts and shows interest in the successes of the other half;
- talks about children;
- proposes cohabitation or proposes marriage;
- introduces parents and expresses a desire to enter the partner’s family circle;
- constantly in touch, does not hide anything;
- shows love, care;
- takes into account the partner’s opinion;
- knows how to listen and hears;
- happy when together;
- values the feelings of her other half and is not shy about demonstrating her own love.
When partners are committed to a serious relationship, they are ready to change, change their lives, and adjust their habits. If this is not the case, the connection will not last long.
You have no fundamental differences
Personal characteristics and different interests are not a problem, but there are global issues that can become a stumbling block. They may concern where to live (for example, one loves big cities, and the other dreams of a house outside the city), whether to have children and animals, how to build relationships in general (perhaps you want a traditional family, and your partner wants a polyamorous union).
For some, religious, political or other ideological issues are fundamental. A relationship with a person who shares a different ideology can be quite passionate, but will be full of conflict and is unlikely to last long.
It is better to clarify important things “on shore”. If your positions differ on key issues, it is better to limit yourself to non-binding dates.
Experts' opinion
Seriousness will always be a priority, since the main purpose of a person is to create a family, to continue the family line. But there is no need to rush to complete the mission if you are not ready. A person himself understands when he needs a strong mutual relationship, and when it is better to get by with flirting and sex without obligations.
Every person develops his own understanding of what the relationship and behavior of a partner should be. Seriousness is the intention to live together, create, experience joys and misfortunes.
