People are divided into two large groups. Some people think about the well-being of others. Others only care about themselves. It is to them that this article is dedicated. We are talking about egoists. What are they? Why do they behave this way? Is it good or bad to neglect other people's interests? What to do if the interlocutor behaves like an egoist? How to build a dialogue with him? Is it possible to re-educate him? Is it easy to start a relationship? What can you expect when communicating with an egoist? We invite you to look into these issues together.
How to recognize an egoist?
In any situation, an egoist strives to satisfy his own needs, regardless of the interests of the people around him. To recognize an egoist, you must first pay attention to such behavioral features as:
- tendency to blame others for one’s own failures;
- inability to listen;
- unshakable confidence in one’s own rightness;
- ignoring comments;
- tendency to brag;
- attempts to manipulate others;
- display of material wealth;
- desire to be the center of attention;
- the tendency to evaluate people by wealth, success, intelligence and other “status” characteristics.
If a person systematically demonstrates several of the listed signs, you have a natural egoist.
What is selfishness: is it good or bad?
Selfishness is bad.
Being selfish is good for oneself. Not a single such person will say that he is bad and will never admit that he is wrong. For those around him, an egoist is a problem, since such a person lives only for himself. People are obliged to fulfill the whims of the egoist, whether they want it or not.
Signs of selfishness include the following qualities and actions of a person:
- When speaking, inability and unwillingness to listen to your interlocutor.
- Enabling ignoring other people's comments.
- For all your failures, blame someone, but not yourself.
- The egoist’s favorite statement: “I’m always right, period!”
- Boasting.
- The egoist is sure that he is an exclusively ideal person.
- Likes to manipulate other people.
- He puts all his virtues on display.
- Drawing attention to yourself.
- Separation of people according to hierarchical levels.
Now it’s worth considering whether selfishness is good or bad:
- Diagnosis: selfish - bad. Drawing conclusions based on all of the above, we can say with confidence that selfishness is negativity, nerves and manipulation. Selfish individuals are painfully narcissistic, they have too high self-esteem, and at the same time they criticize others who are trying to say something in their direction, challenging their superiority.
- Selfishness is good. If we consider this concept from the point of view of human existence, then being a selfish individual is good. In this case, selfishness is the maintenance of the natural instinct of self-preservation. A person also needs such qualities so that he understands his importance and is able to realize himself, bringing his knowledge to a perfect state.
As a result, an individual who is selfish in nature may not feel guilty in some situations, since he is moving towards achieving his goal. But this should not turn into a habitual state or a consumer attitude towards other people.
Stage of selfishness
Stages are distinguished depending on many objective and subjective indicators.
For example, upbringing, age, environment, health, intelligence, professionalism and much more.
This is divided by age:
- Infancy and Childhood/kindergarten, school.
- Youth/study lyceum, institute, university.
- Maturity/studying, work, marriage, children, academia.
- Wisdom/studies, work, marriage, children, grandchildren, academy.
Most selfishness manifests itself for obvious reasons in childhood.
The lowest level is 100%.
The highest is during the period of wisdom in old age, moving to the side of altruism. The minds and thoughts of people work to serve what should serve people. Also, sexual satisfaction relates to the needs of egoism
On knees
An egoist will do everything possible to ensure that you are below him both in status in society and in authority in the family. If you are more successful, the narcissist will try to belittle your achievements, or even claim them as his own.
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Types of selfishness
Throughout the spectrum of human relationships, selfishness can manifest itself in different ways:
- Dictatorial egoism.
This type of egoism is expressed in the individual's deep conviction that everyone around him should serve his interests.
- Selfishness of one's own exclusivity and uniqueness.
This type takes as its basis the rule that says: “everyone around should follow moral standards and principles, except for my beloved, if this does not bring me any benefit.”
- Anarchic egoism.
According to this view: “everyone has the right to pursue their own interests, in accordance with their moral principles,” that is, there are no rules.
Good bad evil
At the start of a relationship, the narcissist tries to prove his exclusivity and skillfully shows off. The candy-bouquet period can be very bright and eventful. At first he seems damn charming. But not at all in order to please you, but to please your pride. Seeming to be the best in everything is his motto.
After he has conquered you, the narcissist completely changes his behavior, blames you, shows you his contempt, neglects you. Then from time to time he shows his charming face again, keeping his partner in constant confusion.
Reasonable, primitive egoism and hedonism
A position that prioritizes personal interests over those of another person or society.
This term arose due to the negative nature of the term “selfishness”.
If, in the public understanding, an “egoist” is a person who thinks only about himself, then a “reasonable egoist” is one who is able to live by his own interests without harming the interests of others.
Primitive - a position of obvious, open disregard for the interests of other people, complete focus on satisfying one’s own needs and aspirations. It is characteristic of individuals with underdeveloped intellect and psyche.
Hedonism is a position that puts personal pleasure at the center of everything. All actions are subordinated to achieving this state. This is the meaning of life, the central, fundamental life value. Everything else is just a means to achieve pleasure.
Signs of a Selfish Personality
Manifestations of male and female egoism are identical. Signs of a selfish person:
- a pronounced tendency to evaluate others critically;
- rejection of criticism in one’s direction, inadequate assessment of it;
- shifting one's blame onto others, which manifests itself constantly;
- the division of people into “friends/strangers”, which always exists in the mind; the desire to always be in the center of attention, disrespect for the opinions of others;
- tendency to energy vampirism, aggressive actions;
- lack of balance in many aspects of life;
- unwillingness to change oneself;
- concentration on achieving material wealth at any cost.
The desire to achieve pleasure is inherent in the human essence. The nervous system gives the body impulses so that it can provide itself with everything it needs. The individual lives in society. It is difficult to survive alone, so the individual must strive to interact with others. Accordingly, altruistic motives (the desire to help one’s neighbor) were originally intended as a means to improve adaptive skills. Without interaction with each other, people will die out. Selfishness is a pathological immoral form of nervous disorder, rooted in childhood. Based on selfish motives, a person commits illegal actions that contradict the norms of society. However, sometimes it is required by the individual.
The egoist is conditionally adapted to friendship. He actively takes care of himself, believing that this is how it should be. Seeks unity with a person who has qualities that he himself lacks, while maintaining free choice.
Difference between egoism and egocentrism
The difference between egoism and egocentrism lies in the definition of concepts.
Selfishness is a stable character trait that manifests itself in behavior.
Egocentrism is the belief that one’s own opinion is the only correct one. Such a person believes that other ideas have no right to exist; he establishes his own orders and rules. Egocentrism is more common in children and disappears before the age of 8–12.
The difference between these concepts lies in the different attitude of the carrier to communication. An egoist, although he loves only himself, needs recognition of his merits by others. He needs to share his feelings and experiences. Such an individual craves attention with all his soul. An egocentric person does not suffer at all from misunderstanding and lack of communication with other people. He feels good alone, he enjoys solitude.
Narcissist Behavior
A strong, intelligent personality combines different characteristics. Lack or excess of egoism affects the behavioral line in different situations. Women and men with a deficiency cannot communicate normally with others. It is difficult for them to make acquaintances. They reproach themselves for any wrongdoing and always feel guilty.
Excessive egoism also does not allow a person to make acquaintances. Such people tend to consider others unworthy of their attention. They are pleased to refuse help to other people, even if the favor would not be difficult for them. The requests of egoists are fulfilled by others willingly, but over time, narcissists face a wall of indifference. To receive something from others, you need to give, and this character trait is not inherent in egoists.
Such people don't like to work. They are looking for a field of activity that does not require large energy expenditures and lead a parasitic lifestyle, using people’s connections and skills to achieve their own selfish goals. Egoists sincerely believe that they work harder than everyone else and easily change jobs, being confident that the new activity will bring greater profits.
A critic of an egoist faces aggression on his part.
Such a person will definitely say a few “kind” words in response, slam the door and leave. A selfish personality is spiritually flawed, and this leads a person to degradation.
The meaning of selfishness
Society cannot do without a share of healthy egoism. It is impossible to achieve something by constantly sacrificing your interests for the needs of others, just as you cannot completely neglect them. It is important to be able to cooperate with the outside world, to put your interests first, while also taking into account the desires of others.
The meaning of egoism is to find a balance between the desire to achieve one’s goals and the desire to help realize the interests of others, without going to extremes (excessive egoism, even egocentrism or altruism).
Who is an egoist: definition, types, characteristics of a person in simple words
An egoist in simple words
An egoist is a person whose behavior is completely determined by the thought of his own benefit and benefit. Such a person does not know how to live in society, find ways out of compromise situations, and usually he puts his personal interests above the interests of others.
Interesting: As Mark Twain said: “An egoist is a person who loves himself more than me!” . The word “egoist” comes from the Latin “ego” , which translates as “I” .
Selfishness is present in each of us, and this is considered normal. But some individuals have such a consumerist attitude towards other people that their principle of life goes beyond the framework of thinking habitual for every person, and therefore such individuals are called egoists.
- There is rational egoism , when a person can evaluate his actions and knows what consequences await him.
- But there is also such a type of egoism as irrational - this is a parasitic consumer, acting on the basis of his desires and impulses, wanting to get as much benefit for himself as possible.
The following types of egoism can also be distinguished:
Types of selfishness
If we analyze the definition of egoism and its types, we can say the following:
- A smart egoist with a rational quality lives for his own pleasure, but at the same time does not interfere with the lives of others.
- A person who has high self-esteem, is self-centered, or has narcissistic qualities does not fit well in society.
He has unsolvable problems throughout his life, he always demands something impossible from those around him, but at the same time gives nothing in return.
Selfishness of geniuses
A special type of egoism is professional, expressed in the desire for superiority only in a specific field of activity; it is inherent in people who devote themselves to a specific occupation. These are workaholics and fanatics of their work, ready to willingly sacrifice everything else for the sake of their favorite activity. In case of obvious success, such egoism often results in “star fever”. The main indicator of the presence of egoism of this type is the inability to admit defeat, envy of those who are more successful, and absolute confidence in one’s superiority. Of course, there are many gifted people in the world, even geniuses, but some maintain a relaxed atmosphere around themselves, while others, due to selfishness, are blinded by their own greatness.
Guilt
The favorite trick of alcoholics and selfish people is to make others feel guilty. Like, you are to blame for his failures in life. But if drinkers are more likely to oppose their parents, narcissists pester their partner, wife or husband.
Agree, most of us make claims to our spouse in certain life situations. But this is episodic. Egoists try to convince you that you are the worst person in the world. That all the troubles are because of you. Resist mental pressure with all your might; if necessary, go on a counterattack. It’s better to break ties with such a person.
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How to become a healthy egoist
Knowing what selfishness is, it is not difficult to understand how to cultivate this feeling in yourself and control it. Here are some simple recommendations:
- learn to say no. Act in the interests of others without sacrificing your own.
- become aware of your own needs. Try to understand what makes you happy. Take action to achieve what you want;
- resort to the method of solitude. Be sure to take a moment to relax, practice your favorite hobby, and walk in the fresh air. Anything that makes you happy and allows you to restore your strength is useful!
- transfer responsibility. It is important to learn to believe in those around you and not try to do everything for them. Become a manager! This will benefit everyone.
Emotional instability
People susceptible to narcissism try in every way to attract attention to themselves. One of the techniques is emotional instability. Either a person is in a great mood and is full of jokes and compliments, then he becomes capricious and even aggressive. It is impossible to understand the cause-and-effect relationship of mood changes. This is just another method of manipulating others.
Advice from specialists in treatment
If we talk about how to get rid of selfishness, the advice of a psychologist will be more useful than ever. Experts recommend doing this in four stages.
Stop limiting your consciousness. The boundaries that an egoist sets within himself do not allow him to live to the fullest, because they barely go beyond his own nose.
Communicate without the pronoun “I”. The best way to get rid of selfishness is to teach yourself to talk about yourself as little as possible.
Love someone other than yourself. Psychologists recommend getting yourself a pet first. The main difficulty of this step is that there is no escape from the animal. You constantly need to take care of him - feed, clean and play with him. Find satisfaction in what you have. If we talk about self-love, then the biggest problem is learning to be content with everything you have.
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GuruTest
Selfishness in relationships is dangerous, but even it is sometimes necessary. In this world, not everything is as simple as many people think. You need to think more deeply about such topics and engage in more introspection in order to understand the mechanisms of action of any life process. Egoists who go too far are doomed to failure, but you simply cannot be an altruist in the modern world, especially if the standard of living of your children or your significant other, your parents depends on your success.
It helps you find a nice job
When you are moderately focused on your convenience, you will not work at a job you hate, but will try to find ways to earn money so that you don’t have to get up at 6 in the morning. Selfishness motivates like nothing else. This is a great motivator for modern people. It very often helps to look for simpler ways to obtain material benefits, saving you time and effort.
Saving time after a breakup
“Normal” egoists do not flatter themselves with hopes of restoration of love. They simply take from the relationship what they need. If they have outlived their usefulness and there is no point in pretending to be friends, then why communicate with a person at all. Here thoughts about your loved ones are very important, because you have a chance to get bogged down in these empty thoughts that the relationship can be revived. This applies to friendship too, as well as purely working, business relationships. If you know that a person is no longer capable of goodness towards you, why do you need him?
You can always tell a person “no”
When you are a little selfish, it is always much easier for you to refuse a request for help when it is really necessary. This again touches on the topic of altruism. You don't have to give yourself completely to those who don't care about you. When saying “no” doesn't make you feel bad in the right situations, it helps keep you energized, in a good mood, and positive.
Our dreams come first
When you think about yourself in moderation, your own dreams become a priority. This is how it should be - the ideal model of behavior in modern society is 90 percent of attention to yourself and 10 percent to others.
Enjoy your children's life
When you live with your significant other just so your children don't have to worry, it's not true. Living with a person you don't like is a total nightmare. It’s easier to call this way of life a meaningless existence. Yes, it will be difficult for the child in any case, but at least this way you won’t suffer.
Egoists are more attractive
When everything works out for you, when you know what you want, people are automatically drawn to you. Selfishness is not anathema if you know how to use it for its intended purpose. By fulfilling your dreams, you become brighter and ready for new achievements. Helping others is doubly pleasant.
Achieving Harmony
Internal balance is very important for a person, because without it, well-being and mood suffer. Moderate selfishness makes you loved by yourself. When you are filled with self-love, you are ready to share it with others. This is the first rule for those who are lonely and cannot find a soul mate - love yourself and do yourself a favor by thinking about yourself more often.
Strengthening authority
When you think more about yourself than your parents require, you become stronger and more influential. There is no need to go over your head and betray friends and loved ones for the sake of profit, but when you have an honest and real chance to take a higher position, then there is no point in giving it up.
Only the right relationships
Very often we show weakness and do not tell the person that we do not need his company. Thus, “dead souls” accumulate in our environment, who call themselves friends, but do nothing for you and to maintain friendship. They don’t call you, don’t write, don’t let you know. Such people should not exist.
Preservation of nerves
When everything is balanced in you, your nerves will always be in order. When things are bad, think about yourself, and not about problems related to work, school or anything else. Stop living for other people. If it makes you unhappy.
Luck will always be with you. If you know how to use selfishness for your benefit. It will even help you quit smoking, because it is costly from a financial point of view and also spoils your health. With selfishness you can find love, get rid of addictions, and gain freedom. Don't forget that everything is good in moderation.
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20.09.2017 00:55
