We're all angry. A colleague interrupted you at a meeting, your boss denied you a promotion, a loved one let you down in a difficult moment - you probably started to get irritated just remembering how something similar happened to you. And sometimes the feeling of anger is necessary. It gives you the strength to protect yourself and others in the face of injustice. This is a valid emotion, and you shouldn’t judge yourself for it.
But there is no need to blindly succumb to it. Sometimes anger paralyzes you to the point where you can't do anything and you lose control of the situation. Try one of the following methods to calm yourself when you feel overwhelmed again.
Talk to your inner child
Don't dismiss this advice. According to psychologist Margaret Paul, being angry at another person can be a signal that you're not taking care of yourself in a difficult situation. Talking to your inner child will help you identify what is wrong and be kinder to yourself.
“Imagine that the angry part of you is a hysterical child who really needs compassion,” Paul advises. - Imagine hugging him with kindness and compassion. Ask him why he is angry with you. Didn't you stand up for yourself? Made a concession instead of honestly expressing your opinion? Are you ignoring your negative experiences? Once you understand the cause of your anger, it will be easier for you to let it go.
What should you not do when you are angry?
Scientists have proven that anger can seriously harm your health because the body experiences mental and physical stress. Moreover, anger can destroy your relationships with friends, colleagues, and loved ones. That's why you shouldn't let anger ruin your life.
The best way to avoid making mistakes when angry is to cool down and calmly think about what happened. So, what not to do when you're angry...
Take your anger out on social media
Unfortunately, many people tend to spread their bad mood and irritation on social networks in order to notify a large number of people. Under no circumstances should you broadcast your anger on the Internet. By telling the world about the negative emotions you are experiencing, you risk earning a bad reputation. And various caustic comments will not please your friends and family.
Make important decisions
To make the right decision, you need to concentrate and weigh the pros and cons. This is only possible when you are calm. If you make a decision when you are upset, angry or sad, you will later regret it or the choice you made will seem stupid to you. It is very important to learn to make decisions in a calm state in order to further control your emotions.
Taking it out on others
You've probably already noticed that when you get angry, you lash out at those around you. Control yourself if you don’t want to quarrel with your friends and family. You can use breathing techniques to help relieve stress and feelings of anger. Successful and wise people try to improve their mood, and not spoil it for others.
Get behind the wheel
When you are very angry, try not to drive. Research has shown that angry people are more inattentive and aggressive on the road, which increases the risk of getting into an accident. Stop driving if you feel angry or aggressive, so as not to put your own and others' lives in danger. If a fit of anger catches you while driving, stop and calm down.
Talk about your problems to others
It is believed that if you tell someone about your problems, you will immediately feel better. But you need to share with loved ones, otherwise they may not understand you or begin to judge you.
Family and friends will support you, give you advice and help you cope with anger. But it’s best, of course, to go through the situation alone: the fewer people know about your problems, the less likely it is to create an unflattering impression of yourself.
Drown out anger with alcohol and nicotine
During an attack of anger, it is very difficult to control your willpower. But by taking up cigarettes and alcohol, you will only worsen your condition.
Physical activity will help pacify anger. If you constantly exercise, the level of serotonin in the body increases. Since it is a pleasure hormone, it helps to get rid of aggression and become happier.
Be in company
Being in the company of people, communicating with them when you are angry is very, very difficult. Therefore, it is worth postponing this kind of event until better times, for example, when you cool down and come to your senses. It is pleasant for others to communicate with positive, kind and peaceful people. Therefore, the less you appear angry in public, the more people want to communicate with you.
Anger is a dangerous feeling that can ruin your life. Ambrose Bierce said a great phrase: “Speak when you are angry, and you will give the best speech you will regret for the rest of your life.” You must be wise and patient to cope with anger and find peace of mind.
Prepared based on materials from the website www.womanitely.com
Identify the physical cues of your anger
Most people don't realize they're angry until they do what it drives them to do. Most likely, you too have lashed out at someone, and then were amazed at your behavior. To prevent this from happening again, watch how your body physically expresses emotion. For example, you tense your shoulders or jaw, bite your lip, or clench your hands into fists. Or maybe you lose the ability to think clearly and see only the object of your anger.
Write down such signals - this will help you quickly recognize them in the future. And to cope with such physical manifestations right now, breathe deeply and try to relieve tension from the muscles.
How to quickly calm down when you're angry? Methods that work
There are a million ways to worry in life. However, it is up to you to decide whether to be nervous or not. In order not to react to stress, you need to train your consciousness to be resistant to negative phenomena; for this you need to completely rebuild your worldview.
For example, did you play with dolls as a child? At that moment, you could observe from the outside how the “life” of your toys unfolded, and moreover, you yourself created and managed it. Try to look at situations in which you lose your temper as if from the outside. Now you yourself and the person who annoys you, and those facts of life that make you angry... all this is a game. In which you are the director. You can analyze why the hero is angry, how he should behave now, and so on. But this approach takes time to develop in your mind.
Now we will talk about emergency methods when your patience is full.
1. Breathing exercises. Concentrate on your breathing. Take a deep breath and exhale. And so several times, take your time, watch how the air enters and leaves your body. You can silently, or even out loud, pronounce the process, so to speak, of the air cycle. Oxygen enters through the nose and enters the trachea, then the bronchi, and finally into the lungs. Carbon dioxide leaves the lungs through the bronchi, trachea and nose.
2. Find the nasolabial triangle. There is a point in the middle that you need to press with your thumb and hold for 3 seconds. Release. Did it help? Great! Did not help? Try a couple more times.
3. There is also an important point in the middle of the chin. Press it and use gentle massage movements to remember it about 8 - 10 times in one direction. Then in the opposite direction.
4. There are also points on the fingertips. Remember them with massage movements, slowly, slowly, without pressing too much. And so all the fingers in turn.
5. If you are at home, then close yourself in the room and hit the pillow several times. At the same time, put into each blow all the anger, all the pain, all the resentment, everything that overwhelms you and prevents you from thinking objectively. Make a fist as hard as you can and strike. Just don't overdo it, we don't want injuries.
6. Or put your hands under the water and hold it. Water relieves irritation well. If you are outside, the healing energy of nature will help you. Go to a tree, lean your hand against it, take some vital energy and release the negativity.
7. If you're indoors, find a reason to go outside. A walk in the fresh air will help you recover. It will be more effective if, while walking, you think about pleasant things. Remember what or who you love. Your favorite comedy, or your trip to the amusement park, your last birthday, a recent meeting with friends where your friend “got crazy.” Or think about your husband, child, kitten or dog. In general, every person has plenty of reasons for warm thoughts and smiles. It’s just that sometimes it’s difficult for us to force ourselves to distract ourselves from the bad and switch to the good. But you have to force it!
8. Try to express your thoughts. You can say what you think, for example, to a friend. Or, just take a piece of paper and write on it everything that worries you.
9. Take part in sports exercises. Do push-ups, shake your abs. And the irritation will go away, and you will maintain your shape.
You can also:
Drink tea with sweets. Or play with a pet. You can also take a shower or turn on good music.
We wish you peace of mind!
More posts on the topic
- 7 ways to use your envy for good
- A successful person or how to love a job that you don't like? Recommendations from a psychologist
- Emotionally mature personality. Main features.
- “I’m the most...” or how to increase your self-esteem.
- Simple ways to optimize your workplace
- A beauty tool or what cosmetics should be in every lady's purse.
- Psychology exam
Why are curses dangerous?
Magic formulas are dangerous for both parties: the addressee and the one who pronounces them. If a person’s aura has weakened, then words will gain power. Depending on his anger and the accuracy of his observance of the spell, he may get away with hiccups or tics. If the curse was made by a powerful sorcerer, death may occur.
If a person has no sin, he is redeemed, the formula will not gain power: it is undeserved. There is a risk that the negativity will spread to the family, descendants, and a generational curse will arise.
After magical influences, a person may experience deterioration in health and poor health until he repents of his sins.
Negative consequences await people who curse and wish harm on others. They are easily influenced by damage and the evil eye. By making demonic conspiracies, keeping anger in their hearts, and uttering negative wishes, they desecrate faith in God. Awareness of the sinfulness of one’s action becomes the cause of psychological and physical problems.
Actions when cursed
Angry words spoken in a quarrel can have magical powers. People, in an emotional outburst, curse and wish for death, and do nasty things to each other. To prevent the consequences of negligence and to protect yourself, you should follow the rules.
If he accidentally said in a quarrel
Hurtful words are said during a conflict. The cursed person often repents after what he has done, cannot understand why he wished for trouble, or insulted his interlocutor. A husband and wife can say nasty things in a scandal without wishing harm. The effect of the magic formula must be annulled.
What to do if you curse your interlocutor in a quarrel:
- Consider actions, wishes, words.
- Ask the person for forgiveness.
- Go to church after a verbal curse. Confess.
- Repent, receive forgiveness and blessing from the Lord.
- An Orthodox person should not succumb to anger, envy, or do evil in a fit of rage.
If you are cursed
If you had a quarrel with your mother-in-law, during which you did not come to a compromise and soon felt unwell, perhaps your relative harmed your aura.
What to do in this case:
- If you find traces of a curse, go to church. The priest will conduct a ritual of cleansing and healing.
- Ask to bless your home.
- Repent of your sins.
It is important to know what to do if there are signs of a curse, but there is no opportunity to contact a clergyman. You need to carry out a cleansing ritual at home.
Do you need the help of magical powers?
Get an answer to your burning question from a magician and healer. Write about the problem right now, and an expert will suggest a solution online!
Ask a free question View all questions
Follow these simple steps:
- Buy salt. Don't ask the seller for change.
- Sprinkle holy water on the pan.
- Pour salt on it and heat it.
- When the substance has acquired a dark color, remove from heat. To remove the curse, turn over your left shoulder and make a circle around the house.
- Returning to the starting point, place the frying pan on the stove and make 9 crosses in a circle on the salt.
- After drawing the cross, repeat the spell: “Go where it came from. He who sent it took away.”
- When the ritual of getting rid of the curse is completed, throw away the salt. Rinse the frying pan and hands with holy water. Cross yourself.
If that doesn't work, inspect the house. Look for treasures - magical objects. They are thrown into the bedroom, at the head of the bed. This is a needle, a bag of earth, a skein of thread. You should get rid of them by setting fire to them. This will help destroy the power of the curse.
What to do with the luggage:
- Draw a circle of salt around yourself.
- Light a fire, add incense.
- Throw your find into the fire.
- Bury the ashes in the ground.
If the ritual does not help, contact a specialist. This curse is not an everyday one, but a witchcraft one made by a magician. Perhaps your biomaterial was used - hair, saliva, nails, a significant thing.
A qualified sorcerer and faith in God will help you get rid of the conspiracy.
The Christian religion denies black magic: a person remains under the protection of the Lord.