Anger is a strong, destructive emotion that is thought to be caused by extreme distress or pain. Anger is a normal human reaction that can range from mild irritation to real rage. This emotion destroys a person from the inside. This feeling is the result of expressing some kind of dissatisfaction: one’s expectations, desires or actions. The main problem lies in the fact that dissatisfaction tends to accumulate. And when dissatisfaction reaches large volumes, it turns into aggressiveness and breaks out with destructive force.
Anger is classified as a negative function, but it also performs a protective function. Anger is cheerfulness with a negative sign, since it is one of the few feelings that takes energy out of thin air and creates goals. All people experience anger, but sometimes they prefer not to notice it, suppressing it, and then relationships with loved ones turn into insipid ones, since it is difficult to show positive emotions due to hidden anger.
Anger reasons
The cause may be various diseases. Chronic anger has been linked to high blood pressure, skin conditions, headaches, and digestive problems. At the same time, this emotion is associated with some personal problems: crimes, deviant behavior, physical or emotional attacks, expression of aggression.
Many actions are committed out of anger, which people later regret. One of the reasons people suppress anger is fear of rejection. If a person is angry, then the likelihood that he will be rejected by those people towards whom the emotion is directed increases. And this fear of rejection very often appears stronger for a person than any other fear.
Hidden anger
Stress or depression can be the cause of hidden anger. Anger, invading thoughts, can destroy relationships, as well as human behavior, creating physical problems. One of the reasons for suicide is considered to be hidden anger that a person does not know how to express. Negative situations are repeated and, accumulating, anger is directed at oneself. Therefore, one of the forms of channeling anger is suicidal behavior. Boredom, sadness, melancholy are symptoms of hidden anger, for example, instead of stopping an annoying opponent, people choose silent listening.
Don't confuse anger and hatred. They are not the same thing, although they have the same origins. Hatred, being an acute feeling of strong disgust, as well as hostility, expresses an aggressive and negative attitude towards something or someone.
All illnesses come from grievances
Two years ago, I became convinced that all our troubles, illnesses and illnesses come from resentment, anger, envy and other negative emotions. Of course, in fact, it is very difficult not to be offended immediately after you have been openly rude or “stabbed in the back.” When a crack began to appear in my family life, in order not to stew in my own bitterness of grievances, I read books. Then I came across V.V. Sinelnikov’s book “Love your illness.” He described in detail all human vices. Everyone has these vices, to a greater or lesser extent. This always happens: difficulties are given to us so that we become wiser and stronger. Then I realized one thing that, of course, it is impossible for us people to get rid of these vices, but our task in life is to make sure that they manifest themselves less.
Each of us is familiar with the feeling of resentment. This is an unpleasant, destructive feeling. It is especially dangerous for those people who do not know how to forgive, who keep resentment within themselves, punishing, first of all, themselves. Resentment carries hidden aggression directed at the offender, which turns against the author himself and launches a program of self-destruction. Therefore, forgiveness should become as natural a process for a person as brushing your teeth every day.
I cannot boast that I am not offended at all, I am still a human being... But I always remember that by doing this I am only making things worse for myself and my health. It’s just that the realization of this comes faster each time. But I consider my most important achievement to be that I never take revenge or do anything out of spite. My thoughts are pure. I do not undertake to judge anyone, for God is the judge of everyone. On the one hand, it’s funny, but on the other hand, it’s such a pity for those who think that they are ideal and can judge others.
Life always puts everything in its place, and everyone is rewarded according to their deeds. Life experience shows that this is a good position. I don’t harbor hatred, I don’t stew in the juice of envy, resentment and contempt, but I continue to live and switch to more positive aspects. And then suddenly I observe the justice of life. Well, why should I be jealous? Prosperity? Beauty? Relationships? Have you tried to be sincerely happy for others? Believe me - this thing charges you with positivity much more strongly and is not only harmless, but also attracts good luck!!!
Yes, how many times has it happened when you don’t expect it at all, but they betray you. At the first moment it hurts, you want to respond in kind... But later you understand: the more you hold a grudge, the longer this situation and the awareness of betrayal will weigh on you and will not let you go. Now I am definitely convinced: in order not to become a victim of this situation, so that it is forgotten faster, you need to forget it and let it go. It’s not for nothing that they say: “The weak take revenge, the wise forgive, and the happy forget.”
Every person has dark and light sides. EVERYONE HAS IT. In different situations they turn to a certain side. This is why you need to treat people evenly. After all, flaws can be found in everyone. And you don’t need to search for long. What if we look for dignity? This is, of course, more difficult, but it is more worthy!!! Maybe it’s enough to look for other people’s “specks”, and it’s time to notice your own “logs”, start improving and developing?! Set a goal - not to rise by condemning others, but to achieve a state where they will admire you.
When people love, they glow. This love envelops everyone and everything. And then there is no time left for hatred, envy, revenge, etc. Love and appreciate each other!
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Anger and resentment
Human relationships are always filled with different feelings, and anger is no exception. Each person chooses for himself what to do with his negative emotion: suppress aggression, be angry with himself or make claims.
Very often, when a person cannot allow anger to be thrown out, he develops resentment, which is understood as a strong negative emotion caused by experiences.
The cause of resentment is the futility of waiting, lack of praise for work and diligence, a conflict situation, discrepancy of opinions, unfounded slander or feedback. Another reason for resentment may be people’s desire to manipulate a person. For example, if I am offended, it means you are to blame and I am right. This behavior is explained by the desire to excel over other people.
Woman's anger
Very often, a woman is subject to stress and overwork at work, rudeness on the street, and family troubles at home, and as a result, a very minor irritant can easily lead to an attack of anger, and the woman will easily lash out at her loved ones, in particular her child. And if a woman’s hormonal levels are not yet in order, then it’s not far from attacks of aggression.
How to let go of anger? First of all, it is necessary to normalize hormonal levels. Hormones play an important role in the life of any person, especially women. Violation of the level of hormones in the female body leads to a bad mood, dissatisfaction, weakness, weight gain, fatigue and, ultimately, anger.
There are also external signs due to disturbances in the woman’s hormone levels. This is dullness, brittle hair; dry and flaky skin, brittle nails, menstrual irregularities, gastrointestinal dysfunction, decreased intelligence and memory. A woman during such a period is marked by irritability and depression.
If you notice all of the listed signs in yourself, then in order to let go of anger, you should normalize your hormonal levels. Disturbances in hormone levels are determined after certain tests are performed. If necessary, an endocrinologist prescribes medications that normalize a woman’s hormonal levels. This process is accelerated by the following actions: proper nutrition, adherence to a daily routine, staying in the fresh air, mandatory physical activity, eliminating bad habits. Be sure to include seafood, fruits (persimmons, bananas), garlic, eggplant, and spinach in your diet. Eat enough animal protein, don’t forget about oil (olive, flaxseed, sesame).
To produce serotonin, you need to eat cheese, dark chocolate, beans, eggs, lentils, and tomatoes. Make it a rule that raw vegetables and fruits should always be in your diet. Adequate rest at night is required, and moderate physical activity (yoga, running, swimming, fitness, dancing) is required during the day. Reduce your coffee intake and avoid alcohol altogether. With your therapist, select the multivitamins and microelements you need.
Constant anger and irritation can be relieved by listening to meditations. According to adherents, regular exercises balance the psyche, relieve tension, aggression and attacks of anger. If irritation does not occur due to a disease, then it is possible to cope with this condition by avoiding contact with the irritating object, as well as eliminating irritants. An integrated approach will definitely help control a woman’s emotionality.
How to learn not to be offended by loved ones
The first thing you need to do when you feel this emotion is to become aware of it. You can understand the situation and correct it only if you accept what worries you and voice it. Try to put yourself in the shoes of the one who hurt you. Did he really want this? Is he aware of what was said or done? Often we overthink and take things too close to our hearts that actually have no direct relation to us. Perhaps your husband answered you harshly because he is in a bad mood due to problems at work. Everyone has different values, priorities and pictures of the world.
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Remember that you yourself can be tired, sleep-deprived, forgetful and inattentive - anything can happen in your head and in life. And you are not always ready to consciously control your state, reaction and behavior.
Learn to catch yourself at the moment of approaching negative emotions and ask clarifying questions to the alleged offender. Understand whether he really wanted to hurt you, or whether you are simply making unfounded conclusions about his words.
Figure out why you get offended by everything and how to prevent it
Increase your level of emotional intelligence and awareness. Try to start keeping a mood diary, periodically stopping and noticing:
- How are you feeling now?
- Why did this feeling arise?
Write down the answers to these questions and thus collect a collection of points that affect your condition.
Look at life with a positive attitude
Develop positive thinking, learn to have fun and turn into a joke any conscious or unconscious attempts to offend you. Keep it simple and allow people to make mistakes. Farewell. You will see - life will become much more pleasant.
How to ignore trifles and not look for reasons for resentment in life: value your time
To be offended means to waste a lot of nerves and energy on fruitless thoughts and self-pity. Let your mind be occupied by more important things: good work, the desire to have a good time with your loved one, a hobby. If you find a free moment to be angry and offended, then you can find room in your schedule for creation.
Play sports
Switch your head from negativity to internal and external transformations. Physical activity fills the body with vigor, improves mood and helps free the mind from unnecessary thoughts.
read books
Enrich your inner world. Resentment, from the point of view of my psychology, is a trait of insecure people who often feel offended, including towards themselves. To develop confidence, you need to constantly grow above yourself, develop, and expand the boundaries of your worldview.
Proper society
Pay attention to those with whom you communicate most often. How do these people influence you? Are you benefiting from this communication? Minimize contact with those who are often offended and condemn others. Think about how you can expand your environment by filling your space with successful, positive, growing people.
