The unconscious does not know words. The unconscious thinks in images and feelings.
My task is to help the client relax and communicate with his own unconscious.
The psychotherapist accompanies, guides, and controls this process. You emotionally experience some abstract plot in a state of complete relaxation. It's like traveling, half asleep. Abstract situations that seem to be in no way connected with your life - this is the language in which we speak with your unconscious, modeling new attitudes. You may not understand this language, but the unconscious clearly knows what we mean by the image of an animal or natural phenomenon.
With the help of images you can regulate psychological complexes, remove barriers, help you realize yourself in life, etc. This is called deep personality-oriented psychotherapy and its effectiveness has been proven for a long time.
Imagine a lemon. Here it is, lying in your hand: a little oily, pimply and strong. You take a knife, place a lemon on the board and start cutting it. Feel its smell, the spray scatters in all directions, and lemon juice flows down the knife. You put a piece of lemon in your mouth.
What do you feel? How does your body react to your fantasies? Salivation begins. Absolutely real. This example of the connection between the imaginary and the real is given to every medical student.
It is a pity that, growing into real doctors, these students forget about this connection and prefer to immediately prescribe pills, ignoring drug-free psychotherapy.
“I will need to lie down on the couch and start talking.”
This myth comes from American films about psychoanalysts. In fact, the couch is not particularly popular among psychologists these days.
The main task of the specialist is to create comfortable conditions for you, therefore, as a rule, the client himself can choose the most convenient place for himself. This could be a sofa if you want to lie down, an armchair, a chair, or even a carpet on the floor.
Svetlana Zlobina: “Initially in psychoanalysis there was an idea that it was important to give space for the manifestation of the client’s inner world without interfering with his personal process.
Therefore, a couch was used, and the therapist himself sat behind the client. But gradually experts began to come to the conclusion that it is interesting not only what story a person comes with, but also what happens directly here, between the client and the therapist. The way the client behaves with the therapist in the office reflects his behavior in everyday life, which means that their interaction can be the subject of analysis. Contact between the client and the psychologist is a tool of help.”
Tatyana Zakhartsova: “Psychotherapy can be life-long”
Instead of a classic interview, it turned out to be a kind of conversation of a philosophical and psychological nature, even an educational program. About who a psychotherapist is, how and when to come to psychotherapists, a MED-info correspondent talked with a certified practicing existential psychologist, a certified specialist in working with psychosomatics, a member of the Interregional Association of Practicing Psychologists “Simply Together”, a specialist in working with projective techniques and art therapy consultant Tatyana Zakhartsova .
— Tatyana, tell us how one becomes a psychotherapist? — There is a subtle point here... (I thought.) It is necessary to understand that psychologists most often go to people who themselves strive to solve some of their difficulties. And this is logical: without having your own pain, it is impossible to hear someone else’s. Psychologists, as a rule, are the same traumatists as their clients, with the only difference being that the former were able to learn to cope with life and went a little further. Therefore, the most important thing is that I know what it’s like for a person alone there, in this trauma. I was able to cope with my pain and am ready to help another person. In addition to knowledge and experience, there must also be some kind of intuition, sensitivity, the ability to empathize, so to speak.
— is the difference between a psychologist, psychotherapist and psychiatrist? — The boundaries of normality among people are very arbitrary. There are sick people who have crossed the threshold of the norm: they cannot exist independently, their lives are organized to the detriment of themselves and their health and, possibly, for those around them. This is what psychiatry deals with. Psychotherapists deal mostly with neurotics - in general, these are absolutely healthy people (from a medical point of view), but, as I say, “in a difficult situation.” That is, almost anyone can be neurotic; this is not a disease. Neurotics are people who, due to various circumstances, find themselves on the border of pathology and find themselves in some very strong crisis feelings. As a rule, they have enough of the body’s own resources to avoid falling outside the norm. And psychologists are those who carry out diagnostics and give consultations, but this is not long-term. Their work format most often involves one-time meetings, during which the client can receive some kind of recommendation or explanation. Psychotherapy is a longer process where an alliance is formed between the therapist and the client. And they sometimes work even for many years in order to improve the client’s quality of life.
— How to choose a psychotherapist? — It is important to understand: looking for a suitable psychotherapist for yourself is normal. First of all, you need to rely on your feelings. What feelings do I have in contact with this person? Will I be able to trust him? Because sometimes a psychotherapist is told more than a priest. And from my point of view, an important point: a good psychotherapist must have his own psychotherapist and supervisor... Well, and a diploma of higher education. (Smiles.)
—Who is a supervisor? — There is a set of conditions that we must meet. Doctors, for example, must undergo certification every 5 years. There is also a condition that every psychologist must undergo psychotherapy, and this is not discussed. We are people like everyone else, with our fears and emotions, but you cannot realize your neurosis in your clients, this is unacceptable. Therefore, every practicing psychologist should have his own psychotherapist and supervisor. The supervisor is the therapist's therapist. It happens that the story that a client brings to me has something in common with my own. And then I risk imposing my feelings on the client - thinking that he feels the way I do. This is where a supervisor is needed who is outside of this client-therapeutic relationship. It helps bring clarity to this situation. (Smiles.)
— How to find out who is better to go to: is it better for a man to go to a male psychotherapist, and for a woman to go to a woman? — Everyone chooses who to go to according to their inner feelings. It seems to me that it depends on what your relationship with your parents was like in childhood. Why does a man visit a man less often: male competition arises there, I think. It is very difficult to tell a competitor how bad you feel or to cry in front of him. It's easier with a woman. The image of a woman-mother comes into play here. If you're going to be weak, then with a woman. Although it is better to work out paternal transference with a man. But it’s also possible with a female psychotherapist.
— In your experience, are there fewer male clients in psychotherapy than women? — Yes, there are significantly fewer men. Most likely, this is due to the fear of facing your strong feelings. Showing feelings is not their strong suit, to be honest. Because in our society it is not approved. (Sad.) Our boys don’t cry.
—Why do you think the attitude towards psychotherapy is more loyal in the West? Why is it that if a man or woman goes to psychotherapy there, it is perceived as the norm of life, but here in Russia it is met with hostility? — In the West, in America in particular, there is a formed culture. The fact is that the societies of America and Russia developed differently. Initially, in America, society was focused on the happiness of each citizen, there was no equalization, there was no “five-year plan in one year.” And it all came down to personality. For us, the value of each individual person is very small. We are not used to thinking about ourselves. And going to a psychotherapist is, first of all, recognizing the value of your life.
“Many people want to go to psychotherapy, but they are stopped by doubts: “It’s probably too early for me.” How do they finally decide to start psychotherapy? “It’s very banal, but people come when they really feel bad. There is such a thing as “client resistance,” when the client not only comes up with excuses, but also shapes the reality around him in such a way that he really can’t get to therapy. As long as it is tolerable, a person will come up with various reasons why not to go: the therapist is not suitable, his face is not the same, there is no time, there is no money, and in general, everything seems to be not so bad... And when you can no longer tolerate it, you find a therapist and go to him.
Change always comes through pain. Even for a flower to grow, its sprout has to break through the grain and destroy it to a certain extent. Who would want this voluntarily? If it’s warm, light, satisfying, why change? There must be a motive. Either I am a very conscious client and want personal growth, and then I know that there will be crises, a break in the usual worldview, but this is my conscious desire. Or a person is overtaken by such a deep and severe crisis that it is impossible to continue in this alone. And you can encourage someone else to go to therapy as much as you want. A husband can bring his wife, a wife can bring her husband... But if there is no motive, it is extremely difficult to work.
— Tell me, how does a classic psychotherapy session go? — As a rule, a psychotherapy session is a dialogue between the client and the therapist. There is a stereotype from the movies that a psychotherapist is counseling a client lying on a couch. In most cases, we still sit in chairs. (Smiles.) We need normal human dialogue first of all. It happens that analysts sit behind the client, especially if the client has a feeling that he is being evaluated. When someone is staring at you, it may seem to you that they are studying how you sit, how you speak, and this can cause shame and discomfort. In principle, the same effect works when consulting on a couch. If a person lies on the couch and looks at the ceiling or out the window, his attention is focused on himself, and not on the therapist’s reactions.
— How long does the session last? — My session lasts 60 minutes. But everything is very individual. If the client regularly gives some strong reaction at the end of the session - tears or aggression - this is a clear signal that he does not have enough time... Then we need to increase the time. Sometimes it takes time to build up or dive, this is all discussed.
— There are common opinions that a psychotherapist should teach life, give advice... What does he actually do? “It’s hard to always be alone in your worries.” Sometimes you need someone else. A therapist is essentially just a partner, someone who accompanies you on your journey. You also run in your own circles, but now you have someone who reflects back to you what you are doing with your life. Thanks to the perspective of a psychotherapist from the outside, you begin to see your life differently, the focus of your gaze changes, and new ideas for changing the situation appear. It is important to understand that the psychotherapist does not give magic tablets, pills, or recipes to achieve happiness and harmony in 21 days. A psychotherapist helps you look at your life in such a way that there is no feeling of a dead end, so that there are always many options. He widens your gaze a little. And, of course, there is a lot about feelings: the psychotherapist shares them with the client, empathizes, supports. This is perhaps the main thing we do.
— How does the first session usually go? — Sometimes it happens like this: a person finally comes to the first session and immediately digs very deep. He has been carrying his experiences alone for so long that he lays it all out at the first meeting. To some extent, the “spiritual striptease” suits me. Immediately breaks down into very deep emotional experiences, without a therapeutic alliance, without trust. And tomorrow he becomes ashamed of how much he opened up, turned himself inside out in front of a stranger, even a psychotherapist. And this makes him feel awkward and painful. It happens that such clients then do not return. It is sad.
It is clear that there is my responsibility here as a therapist: I need to slow down the person. But it happens that it is vital for the client to speak out, because being alone in these experiences is simply unbearable. At the first meeting, I always tell my clients: carefully, listen to yourself. Sometimes I ask: “How was your day?”, “Tell me about your marriage.” At the beginning of therapy, it is very important to build such a relationship so that the person begins to trust. It’s better to work through a painful topic in 3 meetings than to lay everything out at once. Otherwise, this may simply be the client’s way of venting simmering emotions. He lost it, left, and continues to live until emotions reach critical mass again. Then he drained it again. Yes, you relieve stress, but then important things don’t happen - you don’t look inside yourself, you don’t meet yourself, you don’t find out why this happens to me every time? I don't judge: everyone has their own path.
— Please tell us about boundaries in psychotherapy: what they are and why they are needed. — For some reason, many people think that comfort and acceptance should be free. Maybe this gets confused with the “I have friends, I’ll talk to them in the kitchen about this” attitude. But the therapist works. He does his job - different every time. It doesn’t occur to anyone to come to the store and ask for free milk. But with psychotherapy, for some reason, the ideas are different, and this is strange.
Money, time, place - these are the boundaries of psychotherapy, which are fixed in certain rules. Each psychotherapist decides for himself what boundaries he will have. For example, if a session is missed or rescheduled without warning less than 24 hours in advance, the session is paid for, because in therapy such a case is considered the client’s resistance. The client may be systematically late, for example, because the topic of therapy is unpleasant for him or because contact with the psychologist is difficult for him. This is also resistance, it is an important part of psychotherapy and is taken into account. Such rules allow the client to take responsibility for the processes in therapy. These rules are equally valid in both directions, both for the therapist and for the client. If they are violated, we immediately find ourselves in a very uncertain relationship. I am for my salvation, he is for his sacrifice, that is, in some very strong processes, and it is not a fact that I will be able to help the client, because I will already be involved in this process. Paying for a psychotherapy session allows you not to get stuck in friendly, family, or figurative relationships. We do a lot to be a blank sheet for the client, so that he can play out some of his scenarios and mechanisms on us, so that we can then track it and show it to the client. If I fall into the position of a friend, then I lose my professional look and become immersed in the client's story. It is the triad “money - time - place” that allows you to be close, but not in fusion. — “Being nearby , but not in merging”—is this, it turns out, the healing effect of therapy? - I think so. This is the first experience of such a relationship. The client experiences the whole gamut of feelings towards his therapist - from deep love and affection (like a 5-year-old child to his mother) to aggression, rebellion and puberty. But at the same time, the therapist always remains a little outside of this relationship. The psychotherapist, as a person, remains almost invisible to the client under the layer of his transferences and projections. I face this problem: many clients want to be friends, and I would also sincerely like to communicate. But at the same time, I know my place: I am a therapist. There is a period when I am a loving mother, a bad mother, a good father, husband, etc. I live all this, and my task is to live it with the client in the most healthy way, without getting involved in his mechanisms. I don't want it to feel like we therapists don't feel anything. We feel it! And I give very human, sincere, real feelings in my response to clients. But we maintain a professional position at all times. So that in the next moment the client can project someone else onto us, “get through” another difficult period. - But you also live with him? - Yes, definitely. It happens that a client tells absolutely terrible things from his life, but does not cry, does not allow himself to do so. Then the feeling of unshed tears arises in the field - and I cry instead of the client. And I’m not ashamed of this. I say: “I’m crying for you, because what you’re saying is really very scary or sad.” — How do clients react to this? - Differently. This gives someone permission to cry themselves - to cry out what has accumulated, and it becomes easier for them. Someone is very surprised at my reaction. For some, this is a completely new look at history. For example, if something is told repeatedly, then the perception becomes blurred. Or the client does not allow himself to react, because it is scary not to cope with the surging emotions - and then it is easier not to feel at all, to “freeze” himself in this place. When you suddenly realize that this is actually a terrible story about you, that it is touching another person, you wonder how adequate your attitude is to what happened. This allows you to return to your real self, to your feelings. But tears are not the only way to live; there is anger and rage.
— How quickly can a client get results during psychotherapy? A month later? In six months? — You can’t force the client’s therapy process in any way. If there is resistance, it means the client needs it. He will have as much time as he needs. You can't go through a year in two. Because we accumulate neuroses over the years, over 10 years, and we all want changes very quickly - in 2 days, and preferably in the first session. But these mechanisms have been developing for a long time and are changing. And that's okay.
About the results... There are so many factors here that cannot be predicted. No guarantee. But on average, it takes about a year of therapy for the client to notice anything. There was a patient, for example, with panic attacks. I went 2 times a week, due to a crisis condition. Now about 8 months have passed. Positive dynamics are evident: the attacks have stopped, it remains stable. Now she began to understand a lot about herself. She found peace, stability and even the opportunity to somehow honestly look at life and understand her reality. Another client, for example, decided to end psychotherapy. During the process of therapy, she graduated from the Faculty of Biology, realized that this was not really her direction, made up her mind and entered a second higher education, and the Faculty of Philosophy. It so happened that we separated for the summer and only saw each other in September. And I myself was amazed at how much she had changed. Just two different girls came to me: a year and a half ago and in September. There is a very small child there, despite the fact that she graduated from college. And here is a confident, stylish, effective girl. She decided to interrupt psychotherapy because she found some kind of inner support. I understand that this was her work on herself, but I was very inspired by my involvement in this miracle. (Thinks.) When you find your path, you find stability, then everything starts to work out: the grass is greener, and the right doors open. This should not be confused with magic. This is not magic, it is the result of long work.
— Who is recommended for existential psychotherapy and what is it? — There are people who believe that everything is fine with them and they do not need psychotherapy. And I'm not going to convince them otherwise. It's like convincing a king that he's naked. He feels completely dressed in luxurious clothes. The time will come - he will see for himself that he is naked and will somehow solve this problem. But this will be his story. And there are many ways - yoga, religion, psychotherapy.
My psychotherapy is a search for identity. There is also symptomatic psychotherapy - there is insomnia, there is a search for the causes that cause it. And this is not necessarily a search for yourself. Existential - life-changing therapy, what is called personal growth, what happens inside. A person searches for himself, finds his own identity, belonging, relationships both with his own sex and with the opposite sex change. A person finds his place and begins to somehow realize himself. There are also methods that help to implement quickly, NLP for example. It helps someone and it suits someone, someone who doesn’t want to figure it out for a long time. Because psychotherapy can be life-long. Everyone is responsible for their own choice.
“The psychologist will immediately tell me what’s wrong with me”
The psychologist does not make diagnoses. And, as a rule, this is the case with you. It’s just that something bad happened in your life, or you can’t figure it out with yourself, or your relationship isn’t going well...
A psychologist will help you figure out exactly what you feel by simulating in the office a situation that happens in life. Sometimes the problem appears from a completely different angle. And sometimes you yourself, from the depths of your subconscious, understand what exactly you need.
S.Z.: “The therapist includes in the work not only the situation itself that the client is talking about, but also all his experiences associated with it, his reactions to the people around him, his bodily manifestations - any problem is always reflected in our body. All this makes it possible to experience the situation more comprehensively, to bring to the level of consciousness what is repressed and ignored.”
Psychotherapy for weight loss
We will talk about people diagnosed with obesity and suffering from bulimia.
As a result of impaired socio-psychological adaptation, such people develop depression and anxiety-phobic disorders. There are symptoms of damage to the nervous system and psyche that arise as a result of dysfunction of internal organs accompanying overeating.
Mental changes:
- Psychological constitutional and personal characteristics - disorders of the endocrine, biochemical and metabolic systems as a result of overeating. Developing diseases entail an increased desire for food, which leads to the formation of a vicious circle. Treatment with medications and a special diet can break it for a while, but only psychotherapy can get rid of the main problem - addiction.
- Personality-reactive changes - a change in the patient’s behavior in social groups. Here, patients are divided into two groups with diametrically opposed behavior patterns: some ignore the problem, moving in circles of their own kind (overcompensation), others bring themselves to neurotic depression in their experiences.
Worth seeing: What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist?
Most often, they are limited to drug treatment and a special diet. There are no specific methods of psychotherapy; correction is prescribed at the discretion of the attending physician.
Bulimia is a mental personality disorder that manifests itself in periodic attacks of severe hunger with a sharp increase in appetite. The disease occurs due to disorders in the central nervous system, endocrine system, hereditary predisposition, and mental disorders.
Psychotherapy for weight loss helps cure bulimia
Psychotherapy for bulimia is aimed at restructuring the body and its relationship to food
Thyroid gland dysfunction.
“The psychologist will give me an algorithm of actions on how to act in life”
Usually the psychologist does not give direct instructions and directives. As a rule, he is, as it were, outside the situation and understands with you why you reacted this way and not otherwise, what kind of emotions arose in you. It also helps you learn to find other ways to respond.
Moreover, in principle, there is no specific algorithm. Each person has his own harmonious way of existence, and, as a rule, there is no point in putting on someone else’s skin.
Often our painful reactions are related to childhood or adolescent trauma, and sometimes, as adults and in a similar situation, we begin to react from the childish part of ourselves. Your task is to find yourself as an adult and learn to react from an adult state.
S.Z.: “A psychologist will not give directives, but in principle he can tell you how something works in our psyche. And sometimes it is very important that the psychologist will simply say that your reactions are normal, this is quite natural. But most often, the psychotherapist will focus not on actions and actions, but on the client’s feelings and experiences. And these are feelings that are not customary to be shown in society, and the psychologist’s office becomes a place where you can touch them in a safe environment without destroying yourself and your relationships with loved ones.”
How to make yourself work
Surely every person has days when he doesn’t want to work , or activities that he doesn’t feel like doing. In such cases, psychologists suggest using the “10 minutes” technique , which will increase motivation and help you cope with the task.
You need to tell yourself that you will work for ten minutes and rest . Ten minutes fly by quickly, but a person gets carried away and in most cases works for a longer period of time. So the eyes are afraid, but the hands cope with the work.
“A psychologist will explain what other people think and feel”
Sometimes a psychologist can give some interpretation of the actions of other people, but in fact, the object of each session is you. A psychologist is not a fortune teller or a psychic, as some people think.
A qualified specialist knows that it is impossible to read other people’s thoughts, and does not pretend to do so; he will always return you from discussing others to discussing you - your thoughts, feelings, experiences on the matter under discussion.
S.Z.: “Suppose a woman comes to me and complains that her husband is moving away from her, and asks me to explain why he is doing this. You’re a specialist, you understand people, she says. And here I can fall into a trap and start talking about my husband, who is not in the office. And it will be absolutely pointless. A woman came to me with a real request, with her feelings and experiences about a difficult situation for her. And most often the key to this situation lies precisely in the feelings that she experiences. In fact, the wife comes with such a request about her husband, because it hurts her to touch her own feelings, and then it’s easier to talk about the other person and see these feelings in him.”
When is it time to see a psychiatrist?
If there is a threat to the life of the client or the people around him (thoughts of committing suicide, hallucinations, delusions, aggression, deep depression), when taking medication is no longer possible, the psychotherapist may advise the client to see a psychiatrist. True, this will be precisely a recommendation that a person may not take advantage of. Therefore, in this case, it is important for the specialist to convey to the client the need to visit a doctor. After the psychiatrist prescribes medications, psychotherapeutic support is not canceled - it complements the main treatment.
“A psychologist is the same chat with a friend, only for money”
This view is common among those who do not believe in psychotherapy. People think that in a psychologist’s office the same chatter happens as with a girlfriend over a bottle of wine, so why pay money for something that you can get for free?
S.Z.: “Psychotherapy is a special relationship, artificially created. And the important thing is that you and the specialist are not connected by any other relationship; this allows the therapist to be absolutely neutral towards you, unlike any other person in your life. And such relationships make it possible to look at the client’s inner world without distortion.
Your mother or friend, seeing your experience of divorce, will begin to talk about her experience and share something of her own. The therapist will not do all this; he will help you understand your own feelings. For example, if a person cries, we accept that he needs to be reassured; the therapist, on the contrary, will pay attention to these suppressed feelings. It will also help you look at the situation from a different perspective.
Let’s say that if a woman has been in a dependent relationship for a long time with her husband who beats her, she needs it for something, it has some function, and the therapist will help you figure out what that function is. And if it no longer works properly, it will help to look for other options for the same need.”
Psychotherapy sessions for depression
For depressive symptoms, methods of hypnotherapy, the method of using a gas mixture - nitrous oxide, and group therapy are considered effective. The latter method does not lead to the removal of endogenous symptoms, but it makes a person feel safe and realize that his illness is not exceptional, which increases faith in recovery. Group therapy is usually combined with biological therapy. There is an interesting debate about whether suicidal people should be included in such groups. Some believe that the tendency towards similar actions in other patients will increase under their influence, while others, on the contrary, that this will provoke the manifestation of hidden suicidal tendencies in others, which will help cure them before such desires begin to manifest themselves in behavior.
The most famous method of psychotherapy for depression is considered to be interpersonal psychotherapy (Klerman and Weissman). It is aimed at improving patients’ adaptation in society and establishing interpersonal contacts, openness, and the ability to express their thoughts and emotions.
In psychodynamic therapy, the main emphasis is on the study and correction of self-esteem, self-blame, denial of hidden anger, etc.
In the case of non-directive psychotherapy, the patient simply talks about himself, his thoughts and feelings, and the doctor helps the person see himself from the outside.
D. Kovpak and L. Tretyak spoke quite fully about depression and psychotherapy sessions (video).
With neuroses of a depressive nature, a positive outlook on the future is maintained, the person practically does not change personally and remains able to work. However, it is characterized by lethargy, lethargy and a constantly sad mood. Treatment is medicinal along with suggestion and self-hypnosis therapies.
“The psychologist will start delving into my childhood”
This is only partly true. On the one hand, most of our problems and complexes really come from childhood. On the other hand, the past cannot be changed, so dwelling on these memories is pointless.
A psychotherapist has tools that will allow you to deal with those old emotions and not let them affect your present.
S.Z.: “When a 40-year-old woman sits in front of you, and you see that inside she is now a 5-year-old girl, she behaves like this, speaks like this... All her experiences are frozen at the age of five. This situation can be experienced here, together with the therapist, otherwise the traumatic feelings will return to her again and again. And it’s not about remembering specific stories from childhood, but about living with those emotions.
In fact, it is at this moment, here in the office, that a person experiences the very feelings that he had then, on which he was then frozen. And as a therapist, I will have a certain reaction in response to these feelings, essentially the reaction of mom or dad. And then we have the opportunity to simulate a situation that will allow us to express all those childhood emotions, to release the bundle of emotional energy that a person has carried in his soul for many years.”
Ten minutes reception
This is one of the most common psychological techniques among men. Scientists have found that representatives of the stronger sex are more susceptible to laziness than women. However, you can trick your brain, and the reluctance to do something will quickly disappear. The fact is that in the process of doing work we may become very interested and active, so we just need to start. But how to do this when you just want to lie on the couch?
If you lack motivation for any activity, it will be enough to say to yourself several times the phrase: “I will only do this work for 10 minutes.” Most likely, after this time you will become interested in the activity, and you will continue to do it further. If not, 10 minutes is still better than nothing. Please try again after some time. This is the most effective psychological self-regulation technique. You can use it in any area of activity (at work, in sports, in school) to increase your own productivity.
“You will have to go to a psychotherapist for years”
Sometimes psychotherapy can actually last several years. It depends on the situation, on the client’s wishes. There are different traditions in different areas of psychotherapy; in psychoanalysis, for example, it is customary to go 2-3 times a week for several years; in Gestalt therapy, once a week is considered the standard, and the number of sessions depends on the situation.
S.Z.: “There are different requests. There is also a short-term request, when a person came with a specific situation to deal with it, then it could be ten meetings or even less.
But there is also long-term therapy. For example, a girl comes and talks about a specific relationship with a guy, but it turns out that this is not the first time such a scenario has happened, and then I suggest working not with a specific situation, but with a general behavior model, and there is no specific deadline here, this may take a long time.
But in any case, the client always has a choice when to finish. But I would like to point out that the first few meetings usually take place to establish contact and trust between the psychologist and the client, so it is rarely possible to solve a problem in 1-2 meetings.”
Other methods of psychological influence:
· If you feel like someone doesn’t care about you, ask them for something small, for example, borrow a pen or pencil from them.
· If you can't get a song out of your head, try to remember the ending.
· If you need help conveying something, talk to the person when you hand them packages or bags. Most likely, the person will not even notice that you handed him something and will simply take it.
· When you are introduced to someone, try to remember the color of the interlocutor's eyes. You don't have to use this information, it just helps you achieve optimal eye contact. People perceive this look as friendly and confident.
“All the work of a psychologist is based on conversation”
Although dialogue is the main tool of work, there are other forms in the psychologist’s arsenal. A psychotherapist can work with the analysis of your dreams and can use special exercises, tests, and techniques.
S.Z.: “We can use some objects for metaphor, it will be easier for a person to tell the story. For example, my client talked about her relationship with her boyfriend, but it was clear that it was difficult for her. I offered the client several animal figurines and asked her to choose herself and her boyfriend from them. She took the turtle and baby dragon figurines. Then she arranged the toys so that the turtle turned out to be a copy of the dragon. When I asked why the figures were arranged this way, the girl said with feeling that the turtle could no longer see this damn dragon. There are often clients who find it difficult to understand their feelings, and even more difficult to express them. And then it’s easier for them to speak the language of images and metaphors.”
What you need to know about psychotherapist education
According to the co-founder of the Yasno service for finding psychotherapists, Danila Antonovsky, when choosing specialists for his team, education is primarily taken into account. It is important in which educational institution the psychotherapist received his specialty. There are not many worthy universities teaching specialties: Higher School of Economics, Lomonosov Moscow State University, Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis, Moscow Institute of Gestalt and Psychodrama, Moscow State Psychological and Pedagogical University.
However, such training lasts from two to four years, which, according to Antonovsky, is not enough. Therefore, “Yasno” also takes into account a person’s professional activity after receiving a diploma (participation in seminars, advanced training courses), his consulting experience (which must be at least three years), the practice of intervision and supervision, as well as the opportunity to provide a positive recommendation from a senior colleague (university teacher or member of a professional association). It is also important to have experience in your own therapy. Antonovsky says that he has met psychotherapists who have never undergone therapy themselves, which is “unacceptable for a professional.”
Important!
A psychologist who does not have a medical education has no right to prescribe medications. His help is psychological. Sometimes he may involve a psychiatrist to prescribe antidepressants for a client with depression, for example.
A psychotherapist with a medical education can prescribe such medications. But for this he must have the right to write a prescription. This is possible either if he has a special license for medical activities, or he must work in a licensed clinic.
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Open body language
One of the main signs of an open person is his hands. A confident person turns them with their palms up or spreads them apart. If you want to look more successful, be sure to use body language and various poses. However, they should not be feigned, but be suitable for a given situation. Also, try not to cross your arms over your chest, as this will give the impression to your interlocutor that you are moving away from him. Using an open, clear gaze will also help your interlocutor understand that he is communicating with a successful and confident person.
Will a good specialist remind you about the next meeting?
Most often, the continuation of work is agreed upon at the first appointment and at the same time the need for a reminder about the next visit is discussed. If there is no real need, the specialist should not remind you of meetings. A therapist is not a caregiver. He helps to understand the problem, shares knowledge and skills. At the same time, each adult must make his own decisions, including choosing whether or not to go to the next appointment. Usually, after the first consultation with a psychotherapist, relief is felt - and there may be a desire to stop, stop therapy. However, Lyutsina Lukyanova notes that if during the consultation the specialist managed to get the client to be interested in solving the problem, and at the same time the client felt comfortable, he will come a second and third time without any reminders.
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How many therapy sessions are needed to solve the problem?
Everything is very individual and depends on many factors. The development of events is usually as follows: for the first two or three sessions, the spouses complain, swear and cry. Then small progress and improvements begin. Then - a rollback (the spouses came closer through therapy, and with renewed vigor they presented all their grievances), conflicts return with renewed vigor. This is a turning point: if the spouses can cope, find new meanings for being together and set adequate goals and objectives for therapy, the prognosis is good. Next comes the stage of real work and real changes (the scale is not important here, sometimes the changes seem minimal and insignificant). Then a period of calm and joy from the achieved results.
The pace of this journey is different for all couples. The first results, on average, appear after the fifth or sixth session.
