Betrayal of friends: what is it and how to deal with it


Betrayal of friends - what could be more offensive! If we play with elementary associations, then next to the word “friend” we will put “faithful” or “devoted”, as next to the word “bird” - “chicken”.

In our culture, friends are practically part of the family circle, unlike Western society, where a different rule applies: friendship is friendship, but individual interests come first.

What does “betray” mean? Literally it means “to cease to be faithful, to give up, to abandon.”

We experience the first trauma of betrayal with our parents: for example, the mother pays more attention to the father than to the child. Or younger children appear in the family. The baby begins to feel abandoned, abandoned and unnecessary.

As adults, we often react as we did in childhood: with resentment, anger and despair. The betrayal of a friend hurts no less than the “betrayal” of parents, and even more.

It would seem that a friend is someone who certainly must remain faithful. Finally you have found a person you can trust! And here - stop.

Stories about betrayal often run through this theme: he or she “should” have loved you and put you at the center of their world, as if friends were parents obligated to sacrifice their interests for you.

Friendship and betrayal are almost always a story about childhood trauma. This mechanism in psychology is called projection: we “put on” the image of a mother who should be faithful to us.

And if friends in some circumstances put themselves first, and not friendship, then it hurts us very much: a friend has betrayed us! Although, by and large, you did not sign any oaths of allegiance in blood.

At the same time, expecting a minimum of loyalty from friends is quite an adequate thing. Faza Rosta analyzed 10 stories about friends and betrayal that are impossible to predict! The collapse of expectations always happens suddenly.

Best friend slept with his wife

Nikolai and I have been friends since seventh grade. Then I had problems with the older boys: they made some claims against me and were going to beat me after school.

And Kolya said: I will be with you. And if they beat you, then let them beat me too. Otherwise, what are friends for? I will remember this for the rest of my life!

And now I’m 40 years old, and I accidentally saw a message on my wife’s Viber. Kolya wrote: “Darling, the apartment will be free. Tell Seryozha that you will go to the cosmetologist. I miss your lace panties!”

I beat Nikolai and divorced my wife. I don't believe in friendship anymore. I believe that friendship and betrayal are synonymous.

Sergey, 40 years old

How to survive?

The plot about the betrayal of the best friend and wife is archetypal, that is, it occurs at all times. But such circumstances fall out of the blue on the participants in the events themselves.

Sergei experienced a double betrayal: the loss of both a friend and a woman. It's unlikely that anything can be fixed here. It is important to find the resource within yourself to leave this situation in the past.

In psychoanalysis, such a plot is associated with an unresolved Oedipus complex. What does it mean? The boy enters into competition with his father for his mother's love. Does this sound like the plot of this story?

The unprocessed “Oedipus” can be repressed into the unconscious and “shoot out” in just such situations.

Psychoanalysis is psychoanalysis, but this does not change the fact that the friend and wife acted, to put it mildly, shamelessly. Forgiving is not necessary, but letting go and moving on is the right thing to do.

Statuses about brother's betrayal: phrases with meaning

Sometimes strangers are closer than relatives. Therefore, situations when a brother betrays him are often a blow below the belt and can plunge a person into real depression. After all, we all expect the opposite - we are able to forgive strangers quickly enough, but not from someone who is related by blood. But sometimes it turns out that blood is not a guarantee of a good relationship. Here are statuses about a brother’s betrayal - phrases with meaning:

  • A friend can replace a brother, but a friend's brother cannot always.
  • It is much harder to survive the betrayal of a sibling than a blood enemy.
  • If my brother betrays me, he is no longer my brother.
  • If a sibling betrays, he becomes a stranger.

Here are some more meaningful phrases about your brother’s betrayal:


Statuses about brother's betrayal


Statuses about brother's betrayal


Statuses about brother's betrayal

Girlfriend flirts with my boyfriend

In my first year at the institute, I fell in love with a young man with whom my best friend Alena was in love. They didn’t have anything yet, but Alenka already considered it hers.

He invited me to dance at one of the parties. I agreed, although I knew that my friend had a crush on him. But I believed that there was nothing seditious in one dance.

What started here! Alena threw me into complete hysterics. They never started dating that guy, but I remember that scandal well. She accused me of betrayal, although in the end we made peace.

And we agreed, as it seemed to me, for the rest of our lives: not to fight off each other’s guys.

Now I live with a young man. And it seems to me that Alena is actively making eyes at him! I tell her: how can this be? She replies that nothing like that happened, and it seemed to me. However, “it seemed to me” both the second and third time.

In the end, I broke up with her. And now I'm grieving. How to survive a friend's betrayal?

Tatyana, 25 years old

How to survive?

It's a shame that an agreement was concluded - not to beat off the guys, but one of the partners, it turns out, violated it. Although there are a lot of nuances in this situation.

Maybe the friend really didn’t try to fight off the young man, but simply behaved in accordance with her instinctive feminine program?

Sometimes flirting is just a way to have a good time and doesn't mean anything more. Many women flirt unconsciously, and blaming them for it is useless.

It is important for Tatyana to have a heart-to-heart talk with her friend and find out: does Alena understand how her behavior looks from the outside?

There is also a question about relationships in couples. Stories about betrayal by friends may turn out to be stories about distrust of a partner.

Statuses about the betrayal of a loved one with meaning: phrases that touch the soul


Statuses about the betrayal of a loved one with meaning
The pain that a loved one causes cannot be compared with anything. If your boyfriend or husband cheated, left or simply offended you, it is always painful suffering. Here are statuses about the betrayal of a loved one with meaning - phrases that touch the soul:

  • Remember me when you kiss her lips.
  • Not feeling anything at the sight of a person for whom you used to cry is the greatest happiness.
  • Sometimes people give in to a feeling, and sometimes it betrays them.
  • We think we have found the one and only before the first betrayal.
  • It's scary to kiss you when the taste of your betrayal is on my lips.
  • She was loyal, but she became betrayed. Sometimes just one letter can change everything.
  • A woman does not betray, she just stops feeling care and affection.
  • Only those who have been faithful themselves have the right to be jealous.
  • There is no need to tempt the one who is in a couple. If he betrays his beloved, then he will betray you too.
  • Wounds from betrayal do not heal, but they do not kill either.
  • If a man goes to the left, the main thing is not to accidentally bump into him.
  • I've been waiting for a long time for a guy who could change me. But in the end he cheated on me.
  • If I had given you a balloon for constantly pretending in a relationship, you would have taken to the sky five years ago.
  • Loyalty is a moral matter, and betrayal is a matter of time.

Put one of the above phrases as the status of your social network page, and he/she will definitely see it and think about you. Perhaps he will try to fix something.

A friend got married!

Of course, this sounds a little strange, but I consider it a betrayal... The marriage of my best friend.

Not marriage itself, of course, but the fact that after marriage she completely stopped giving me time and does not take my feelings into account.

We have been friends since childhood and spent almost all our free time together. And now she even reacts dryly to my phone calls. I don't demand that she go with me to concerts and restaurants every day like I used to.

But is a man a reason to cut a girlfriend out of life?

Marina, 32 years old

How to survive?

Oh, this jealousy! Like a three-year-old child who suddenly realized that mom and dad were closing their bedroom door for some reason.

Unfortunately, everything in this life sometimes ends: both youthful friendship and blissful ignorance that someone can belong to you entirely.

If Marina can accept the fact that her friend, in fact, does not owe her anything, the relationship will be able to improve and move into a new format. Friendship can be not only youthful, but also adult: with respect for the personal space of the other.

Funny statuses about betrayal: the best phrases

No matter how painful betrayal may seem, it is better to treat it philosophically and with humor than to be depressed. As a rule, every reasonable person knows that after a traitor, a new person will definitely appear on the path, whom it makes sense to trust. Here are some cool statuses about betrayal - Best phrases:

  • Judas hanged himself when he realized that he was a traitor. And you don’t have enough sense for that either.
  • If a husband cheats on his wife, it is a sin. And if a wife gives her husband that is also a sin. It would be a sin not to take advantage of this.
  • Horns, as a rule, grow on a bald head.
  • Darling, why are you so worried? This is a cornucopia.
  • The ideal husband has a kind heart and branchy horns.
  • If you grow horns, this does not mean that the girl is cheating on you. Maybe you're just an asshole?


Funny phrases about betrayal


Funny phrases about betrayal


Funny phrases about betrayal

Friends spread gossip

My friends and I are like in the movie “The Irony of Fate” - we go to the bathhouse. And not only on December 31, but every week. The conversations we have in the sauna are the most intimate.

I thought that I could trust my men, and the content of our conversations would not go beyond these walls. But the reality turned out to be sadder.

It turns out that my (now ex) friend Sasha was telling his wife about my problems with my girlfriend, and my friend Dima (also ex) managed to tell his mutual acquaintances what a loser I am because I don’t earn much.

Sergey, 24 years old

How to survive?

If there was no agreement to keep a secret, then there is no one and nothing to blame. It seems that Sergei is ashamed of his problems and does not want them to be known to a wide circle. A completely understandable desire!

It is possible that the friends did not want to offend at all: they were simply not aware of how intimate things were being shared with them, and how important confidentiality was.

Although discussing someone behind their back is, in any case, basic bad manners.

A friend gave up on business

I am 35 years old and have always been an employee. And so I wanted to finally start working for myself! For a long time I couldn’t figure out what kind of business to open - all the ideas seemed somehow unprofitable.

But one day it dawned on me: why reinvent the wheel? You can follow the beaten path! And I took out the money I had saved, added some credit, and opened a hamburger stand not far from my house.

The location was good: there was not a single street food outlet in the surrounding area.

But this did not last long. I have a friend, Alexey. I even considered him a friend. He knew about all my plans, moreover, he advised a bank where I could get a loan at low interest rates.

And suddenly! A few months after I started trading, he opened his own shawarma stall. Where would you think? 100 meters from my hamburgers! He could not help but understand that he would take clients away from me.

I think he should have at least discussed his plans with me! I think my ex-friend betrayed me.

Vasily, 35 years old

How to survive?

Of course, the person could not help but understand that he would compete with his friend. On the other hand, he himself will have to compete.

In the context of business, this is called the free market, but in the context of relationships, the friend’s action is not the most disrespectful.

It is difficult to call such behavior with the big word “betrayal”: it is unlikely that Vasily and his comrade owe each other anything. At the same time, the situation shows quite clearly: in a friend’s value system, money is more important than relationships.

And a discrepancy in fundamental things usually brings friendship to naught even without any specific actions.

My friend fired me from her job

For a long time I could not find something to do that I liked and was unemployed. One day, my friend, who manages a fairly large company, suggested: Anya, how about I hire you as my assistant?

According to a friend, she cannot trust anyone, since each of her colleagues is aiming for her chair. And she could trust me as a family member.

I, a stupid woman, agreed. I thought - why not help? And then it began. My friend sent me a barrage of criticism.

Either I sent the documents at the wrong time, then I didn’t answer her call in the middle of the night, or I looked at my colleague with the wrong look. A friend set me some absolutely impossible tasks!

One fine day she told me: “Anya, I’m disappointed in you and have to fire you.” It was like a bolt from the blue!

During my time working in this company, I was forced to refuse two very tempting offers. I didn’t want to quit and betray my friend! And it turned out that she betrayed me.

Anna, 31 years old

How to survive?

Business hierarchical relationships with friends or relatives are always fraught with tension.

Expectations are high on both sides: the boss often expects selfless devotion and sacrifice from his subordinate friend, while the subordinate friend expects concessions and special conditions.

In addition, questions not of friendship, but of status come to the fore: why is she, the boss, commanding me? On what basis does a subordinate behave in a familiar manner?

Both lose! Issues of work, status and hierarchy have destroyed more than one friendship.

Why? Because in close relationships we often dissolve our boundaries, but at work we try to strictly observe them. This results in a dangerous confusion of contexts.

A friend didn’t help me get a good job

For several months I dreamed of taking the position of sales director in a foreign company. Legends were made about this company in our circles - they spoke well of literally everything: from the size of bonuses to the scope of corporate events.

But most importantly, I liked the product itself. This was what I know how to sell and want to sell. It seemed to me that this job was literally created for me. But there was never an opportunity to get there.

And then I find out that the head of the HR department in that company is my old friend from college. We didn’t communicate for some time, but we didn’t quarrel, and I still have the warmest memories of my student friendship.

I thought I had caught my luck by the tail! But my friend refused my request to recommend my candidacy to management. He motivated the refusal by saying that he would feel embarrassed if I failed to cope with the tasks.

I've never encountered anything like this! In my understanding, friends should help! Otherwise, it turns out that your friend betrayed you?

Andrey, 30 years old

How to survive?

One gets the feeling that Andrei confused betrayal with elementary refusal. There is nothing unexpected in the fact that the person did not want to mix friendly and business relationships.

Each of us has the right to take care of our status and reputation, even to the detriment of the interests of others. The friend didn’t want to take risks: what if Andrei turned out to be incompetent? Then the reputation of the HR person who recommended him will suffer.

For adults, refusal is usually not a reason to break off friendships.

Betrayal of a friend

Every person strives to have systems of social connections. To meet our various needs, we all need close friends with whom we can be honest. Dating begins with superficial contacts. Then, we decide whether to continue the relationship. People attract us for various reasons: due to a certain similarity of views, interests, attitudes similar to ours. These properties of a friend, an acquaintance, if we like them, turn into affection, unless we discover a fundamental incompatibility. We choose close friends not only for common activities and life goals, but also for spending leisure time. Each person’s desire for quality relationships depends on the perception of any action of a friend. Betrayal and departure of a person close to us destroys relationships of trust and we can be left alone. Trust is one of the most important properties of close relationships. Many people consider “secrecy” and “reliability” (two sides of trust) to be the most important qualities of a friend. Betrayal by a friend is one of the most common reasons for relationship breakdown. There are people who are very trusting and their interactions with friends lead to positive intentions. They expect that their friend will treat them well and drive away all individual unpleasant events in relation to them. They are more willing to interpret doubts positively when things are not going well. But we know that betrayal is a violation of loyalty to someone or failure to fulfill a duty to something. Betrayal

Material from Wikipedia - the free encyclopedia Betrayal is a violation of loyalty to someone or failure to fulfill a duty to someone.
Betrayal is universally condemned by most religions as a sin or violation of a taboo and is condemned by the moral laws of society. Betrayal is most often called leaving a friend in trouble and high treason. Betrayal may or may not be for some gain. Often, adultery and apostasy (religious apostasy) are also called betrayal. Treason
is a violation of fidelity to someone or something.
Cunning
Material from Wikipedia - the free encyclopedia Cunning is a human quality; cunning, a tendency to cunning and evil intentions and actions, covered with external goodwill; actions and behavior characterized by such intentions. Cunning is dangerous, even in communication, and does not allow one to immediately establish the presence of hidden hostile intentions, which later unexpectedly manifest themselves. In other words, deceit is what such a person does. • Origin of the concept The noun “cunning” comes from the verb “to forge.” Among the ancient Slavs, blacksmithing was shrouded in the incomprehensible and associated with mystery. Initially, “cunning” meant wisdom, skill. A blacksmith (variants: “kovar”, Serbian-Lusatian “kovach” and Ukrainian “koval”) forges forges, ligatures, and putts. To build intrigues also meant to build intrigues and sedition. To knit a puta is to entangle. And at the same time, compare with the expressions “forge your destiny”, “forge your happiness”. Over time, deceit began to mean not only deceit, but also some kind of duplicitous plan. Borrowing from Art.-Sl. language, where insidious is suf. derivative from kovar “cunning person” < “skillful, cunning, cunning person” < “blacksmith” (from kovati “to forge”). Wed. other-russian kovati kovy “to plot evil, to plot intrigues.”

Maslow, in his book “Motivation and Personality,” wrote that “a bombing, in which there is a real threat to life, may be less threatening to a person than ridicule, insult, betrayal of a friend...” [Maslow: Notes. Foreign psychology: classical works, S. 14141 (vgl. Maslow: Motivation and personality, S. 0)]

Betrayal

Material https://www.psychologos.ru/articles/view/predatels... Betrayal is a transition from the ranks of Our Own to the ranks of Aliens (Enemies) in a situation of war or military danger.
In everyday life, this word usually does not mean any betrayal. Behind this word lies only the desire to strike and one or another limiting belief on the topic “close people are obliged to help me and support me in all my difficult situations.” They seriously talk about betrayal when the agreement concerned difficult or painful issues: the person trusted, made it clear that the topic was sore, and at that moment he was deliberately hit. Such betrayal is usually not advertised. Tendency to see “Betrayal” The following reasons are usually behind the tendency to slightly see “betrayal” and throw this word around: • Avoidance of failure, complete confusion, not knowing what to do. Strong, mentally healthy people practically do not use the category of betrayal. • To attract attention. Hysterical individuals, often women, are most prone to this. • Revenge (vengeance) - to take revenge on a person for not doing what he wanted. • Power struggle (to force a person to stay nearby). See Causes of conflict behavior Betrayal in earnest “Betray” literally means “to hand over,” that is, “to hand over,” “to give away.” Betrayal is only possible in a hostile lifeworld. For this, the following conditions are necessary: ​​1. The presence of an external hostile force, the extradition (transfer) of which is extremely undesirable for the person being betrayed (this means death, slavery, imprisonment). 2. Something really depends on the “betrayer”. Only he knows the secret, the secret, or he has the “keys to the city” (perhaps also allegorical and metaphorical). In short, he stands in the way of hostile forces, and he has the power to prevent them. 3. Initially, the betrayer is on the same side of the barricades as the betrayed. Or “in the same boat.” Well, in short, on one side, opposite to hostile forces. When a secret is revealed by a specially sent spy, scout, scout, informant, then this is not treason. Its' his job. 4. But he, nevertheless, betrays (betrays) the betrayed. Whether to Roman soldiers, the Inquisition, the Gestapo, the KGB, the cops. It doesn't matter how. Voluntarily, for some personal reasons (out of envy, jealousy, revenge), for money or under torture. 5. Undesirable consequences occur. That is, if, say, the boss instructed employees to “snitch” on each other, and they snitch, and the boss knows everything about them, but does nothing (because this suits him for now), then this “snitching” is not yet a betrayal . However, in this case, the boss is not such a “hostile force.” He just wants to be in the know in order to insure himself against any surprises. Well, that's his right. What can be called betrayal?
Usually called betrayal: • violation of an agreement, although there was a request not to do this... However, often all a person’s actions occur “automatically”.
For example, “Galya, just don’t tell anyone, Zoya told me this!!! She asked me not to tell anyone, so don't tell anyone either, okay?! So....” It happened to me: I blurted out someone else’s secret to one friend, and three days later another girl told it to me, it turned out that the secret went through the entire chain of girls in our company and came back to me. Each asked the other not to tell anyone! Betrayal? Have everyone betrayed each other?

A friend complained to her boss

Over the past couple of years, I have become close friends with my colleague. We have almost the same positions, we are both account managers in an advertising agency. We became such close friends that I began to trust her with all my secrets!

Once I made a big mistake in my work. I quickly corrected it, and no one knew about the existence of the error except my friend.

But one day at a planning meeting, my boss publicly reprimanded me! It turns out he learned everything from my colleague. I think that I have encountered betrayal, and I do not need such friendship.

Katerina, 29 years old

How to survive?

It’s a shame when you are “surrendered” to your mother, teacher, boss. Perhaps the friend was guided by her own career interests, perhaps she wanted to increase her importance in the eyes of her boss.

But whatever her motives, betrayal remains betrayal. Here all that remains is to sympathize and advise not to give up trusting people in the future.

Friend didn't help with money

My school friend became a fairly wealthy man. And I work in an average job with an average salary. Money issues have never been an obstacle to our friendship.

In any case, my salary allows me to pay for myself in a restaurant, and I have never envied big money.

But one day I needed a large sum for my mother’s treatment abroad. I wanted to borrow from Dmitry, but he said that his principle is not to help with money and not to lend. In the end everything was fine with my mother, but our friendship came to an end.

Mikhail, 42 years old

How to survive?

A classic phrase can be said about such a story: a friend did not help in trouble. We live in a society in which well-known laws apply: do not do evil, do good.

Helping a friend, and even a friend in need, is one of these unspoken cultural norms.

Given the context of the situation, such behavior can be called antisocial. Of course, our world is quite cruel, but there should be warmth and support in it!

It is difficult to survive the betrayal of a friend, but time is always a good doctor.

Status about the betrayal of a loved one: the best phrases


Status about the betrayal of a loved one
Often a person can forgive an enemy, but the betrayal of someone who was close remains in the heart forever. It gives birth to a non-healing scar that hurts and aches for a long time, even if the couple is no longer together. However, friendly betrayal is remembered for a long time. Here is a status about the betrayal of a loved one - the best phrases:

  • The first opinion about a person can be wrong. But already when all the previous ones turn out to be incorrect.
  • You are so loyal in between your betrayals.
  • Until you understand that you have been betrayed, you will be betrayed more than once.
  • No matter how much you inflate your worth, they will still lie to you.
  • Those who cheat do not value their loved ones.
  • It’s better to break up right away than to betray.
  • Don't expect to get back someone who has already deceived you.
  • You will never know who is worthy of trust. Relatives can betray, and strangers can help.
  • Betrayal is a legality that does not have retroactive effect. And it is those close to him who teach him.
  • It is not the betrayal that is outraged, but the price that was paid for it.
  • Believing in love and friendship without betrayal or resentment is like believing in Santa Claus.
  • You have the character of a dog, except for the quality of loyalty.
  • You are a traitor, but you consider yourself an intelligence officer.

After the betrayal of relatives, a person loses faith in everything beautiful in this world and it is difficult for him to find like-minded people.

My friend won't give me a large sum

My story is as old as time. I lent a large sum of money to a friend; she needed it for her children’s education. We agreed that he would give it back in a year.

After the specified time, she stopped answering my calls and messages. Another year has passed. I don't feel sorry for the money as much as I feel for the relationship. 20 years of friendship!

Svetlana, 39 years old

How to survive?

Indeed, money does not buy happiness. But in them too! Svetlana should contact law enforcement. Still, embezzling other people's money is a real crime.

The friendship has come to an end anyway; it is unlikely that after such deception it is possible to restore the relationship. Betrayal can hurt our feelings even more than financial abuse. And taking possession of someone else's property is violence.

It is important to find the strength to move on: to continue to believe in friendship, love and people.
If one friend turns out to be a traitor, this does not mean that loyalty does not exist in principle. Team Growth Phase, Growth Phase

Statuses about cheating and betrayal of your husband: sad phrases

A marriage may seem ideal, but sooner or later there comes a time when it “bursts at the seams.” And in this case, betrayal is experienced much more acutely than in the case when a couple meets for “a week without a year.” Almost every woman has experienced her husband's betrayal. Here are statuses about cheating and betrayal of a husband - sad phrases:

  • Even the happiness that our love gave me does not help to cope with the pain of betrayal.
  • Someday everything ends. Betrayal is nothing more than the death of love.
  • The pain of a spouse’s betrayal is retribution for the happiness of past years.
  • Because of you and your cheating, I no longer know what it feels like to be happy.
  • All feelings have died. There's not even jealousy.
  • I still love you. But it will pass. After all, your love for me has passed.
  • They say that all men are polygamous, and there are no people who have never cheated on their other half. Has every woman experienced the same pain that I feel now?


Statuses about treason and betrayal of a husband


Statuses about treason and betrayal of a husband


Statuses about treason and betrayal of a husband

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