The desire for cleanliness and order according to Freud. Mania for cleanliness and order is a problem

Types of cleanliness

People who love cleanliness and order can be pedants, perfectionists, individuals with manic or obsessive-compulsive disorder, and simply clean people.

Cleanliness may differ from each other.

1. Individuals suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Every day they scrub their apartment until it shines. Maintain perfect cleanliness.
2. Individuals who cannot sleep knowing that their things are not laid out, or trash has accumulated, or the floor has not been washed. In this case, selective purity may be observed. Such individuals can easily eat in bed, but at the same time they will make sure that the bathtub is scrubbed to a shine.
3. People who clean only before guests arrive. They create the illusion for others that they are clean.

how to teach a child to be neat.

Neatness - love of cleanliness, order, neatness. The formed habit of being neat does not allow such character qualities as carelessness, unnecessaryness, sloppiness, unpunctuality, and negligence to appear. From this it is clear that a neat child has a chance to grow up more responsible, efficient, clean, and more obliging than one who was not taught this in childhood.

There is an opinion that a sense of neatness kills creativity in a child. It's not like that at all. Very often, people of creative professions like to create a clean, harmonious space around themselves, and, on the contrary, people deprived of any creative principles surround themselves with dirt and chaos. So, how to cultivate this trait in a child, and at what age should you start doing this - here are those questions that parents often ask.

One priest once said that before you start raising a child, educate yourself first! And there is a deep truth in this. All actions of parents are accurately copied by children, and not necessarily right away. Sometimes children, as a form of protest, deliberately do everything contrary to their parents’ demands. But later, after 10-15 years, when the protest subsides, they, without noticing it themselves, begin to repeat the actions and habits of their relatives. Hence the conclusion: if you want your child to be neat, become neat yourself.

At what age should one begin to develop this quality in a child? Since birth. If in the room where the baby is, everything is turned upside down, and the mother, instead of washing the wet diaper, simply dries it and uses it again, the baby’s things are in disarray, and the changing table is a mess, how can the baby grow up with a sense of love for cleanliness and in order.

As the baby grows up, he absorbs the atmosphere of the surrounding chaos around him, considering this state of affairs to be the norm. And then, at the age of 5-6 years, his mother suddenly begins to scold him for scattered toys or unfolded pajamas... You must agree that this is, at least, strange.

Very often, after playing, children forget to put away their things. It's not scary. The main thing is that you do not forget that they must do this. Gradually, this fact should become a mandatory ending to any game. Once you've played, clean up after yourself! But the baby will be able to do this only after 3 years, and before that he will still be hampered by poor coordination of movements. Help him if something doesn't work out for him, but don't do it for him. You can put away toys and put things away together, but not instead of him.

The kid should know that cleaning his things is his cleaning. To ensure that all his toys are in order and in their place, buy him a children's locker or allocate space in your closet for his things and toys.

It is very important that the child knows well that after all the games his room should be tidy, clean and ready for bed. And we need to start explaining this as early as possible.

The moment he goes to school this skill should be well formed.

If, for example, mom or dad forgot to put something back in its place, you can draw the child’s attention to this fact, and in this case, criticism should only be directed at yourself! An example: a mother forgot to put away some item and draws the baby’s attention to this: “See, I forgot to put this in the closet

How not good. You can’t do that.” This method is very effective. So to speak, visual work on mistakes by the parent himself

An example: a mother forgot to put away some item and draws the baby’s attention to this: “See, I forgot to put this in the closet. How not good

You can’t do that.” This method is very effective. So to speak, visual work on mistakes by the parent himself.

Such situations in no way undermine your authority, but only show that you can also make a mistake, but correct this mistake. At such moments, the main thing is not the infallibility of the parents, but a clear demonstration of compliance with the rules and norms of behavior that you are trying to teach your baby to.

However, you should never fall into fanaticism and throw tantrums if your child makes a stain or gets something dirty. Otherwise, the child may grow up obsessed with cleanliness, who will try to look for the slightest speck on the floor. There must be moderation in everything. The main thing, it seems to me, is that the child sees from childhood that order and cleanliness in the house create comfort, and neatness is one of the aspects of beauty. After all, you will agree that disorder cannot be called beautiful, even “creative”.

Why can the love of cleanliness become a problem?

A person obsessed with cleanliness will have no time left for a normal life and relationships with people
. If there is a cult of cleanliness in the house, then it is worth considering the fact that a child growing up in such conditions will most likely face one of two problems.

1. The first is that he will grow up to be a slob. Finding himself outside the walls of his cleanest home, which surrounds him in perfect order, the individual stops monitoring cleanliness, relaxes, and thinks that now he can live the way he wants, no one will force him to clean every day.
2. The second scenario is the internal conviction that ideal cleanliness is the norm. Which actually leads to the fact that a person becomes fixated on putting things in order every day.

You need to understand that the desire for cleanliness should not leave the limits of reason. After all, if an individual spends 24 hours a day cleaning, washing windows and doors, wiping dust in every corner, putting all things in their places, then over time this state of affairs can lead to the development of paranoid deviations. The painful need for cleanliness is a mania. In particular, it can manifest itself in the form of germophobia, fear of infection. A person tries not to contact anyone and even after a simple handshake, he immediately runs to wash his hands or treat them with an antiseptic.

Individuals obsessed with order, without noticing it, block their own humanity. People around them look at them like robots or treat them like fanatics.

It is extremely difficult to communicate with obsessive cheaters. A person who always thinks about order, tries to bring everything to the ideal, does not know how to fantasize, dream, or create. Communication with him becomes boring. A person who thinks a lot about cleanliness, spends most of her time on putting things in order, does not know how to enjoy life. Consequently, she is deprived of all joys. Such a person often stops thinking about his loved ones. She focuses on the compulsive need to clean.

How to deal with Cinderella syndrome

If the disease of clean hands has not yet developed into a pronounced pathology, you can try to cope with it yourself. To do this you need:

Realizing the problem is quite difficult, especially if it is not you who needs treatment, but someone close to you. A calm conversation with links to authoritative sources, a book or printed article from the Internet can help with this, and in the most severe cases, you can invite a professional psychologist for consultation. Draw up a clear action plan - cleaning and putting things in order should under no circumstances disappear from a person’s life. But you need to strictly limit your time - make a plan for cleaning and other cleanliness activities and strictly follow it. So, you shouldn’t spend more than 10-20% of your free time on cleaning every day.

This can range from 2 to 4 hours a day, depending on the amount of work and the number of free hours. Learn to switch - no matter how irritating the dirt and scattered things are, you need to learn to switch your attention.

In addition to these simple rules, the following will help you cope with the desire for perfect cleanliness:

• Exercise – Any physical activity helps reduce stress and tension. Walking, swimming, yoga, fitness and dancing are especially useful.
• Hobbies - any hobby helps to cope with negative emotions, and also takes up time that was previously spent on cleaning.
• Taking sedatives – herbal sedatives help cope with anxiety and fear, which means they remove the main reason for cleaning.
• Psychotherapy is the most effective method of combating phobias. Only by learning to recognize the causes of the development of mental pathology can one cope with its manifestations.

Where does the “mania for cleanliness” come from?

You've probably met people obsessed with a manic passion for order. If things are not in their places, there is a dirty dish in the sink, and there is a speck of dust or speck on the floor, they panic and immediately try to fix it... Is this good or bad? And why do they behave this way? I wonder what psychologists and various other specialists say on this topic?

Possible reasons

If a person loves cleanliness and order, then, at first glance, there is nothing bad in this, it is even good. However, when such a desire develops into a manic state, it can cause irritation among others, worsen relationships between partners, and even complicate the life of a person who is fixated on constantly putting things in order. Not everyone thinks that this state of affairs is dictated by some circumstances. In many situations, if you properly work through your problem, you can get rid of excessive pedantry and return to a normal lifestyle.

Let's look at what factors most often underlie excessive neatness, love of order and cleanliness.

1. Perfectionist complex. Such individuals view putting things in order as a life challenge. Since this type of people wants to do everything 100%, the opportunity to clean their premises every day, while immediately seeing the results of their work, improves their mood.
2. Clutterophobia, in other words, is the fear of disorder. This phobia may have genetic origins. Previously, people were forced to be clean to survive in a certain environment, when there were no disinfectants and antibiotics. Today, such fear can arise even for a minor reason. Individuals experiencing this phobia, when putting things in order, feel that they gain control over their own emotions and their lives, and calm themselves down in this way.
3. The result of a negative attitude in the family circle. If a child grew up in a dysfunctional family, for example, one of the parents abused alcohol, there were serious financial shortcomings, the apartment was in chaos, it was very dirty, but the child managed to find at least some clean corner, he concentrated on it - this place was illusion of stability. Having matured, he strives for cleanliness in order to maintain his peace of mind.
4. Need for approval. It is not surprising that purification rituals are given a lot of space in any world religion. Commitment to social norms, decency, and conscientiousness are characteristic of clean people. Neat individuals see themselves as responsible and conscientious. It is worth noting that, despite the fact that a neat person devotes a lot of time to cleaning, he drives himself into a trap. An overly ideal environment does not allow creativity. Creativity requires at least minimal chaos and disorder.
5. Self-doubt, low self-esteem. A person resorts to putting things in order, putting things in their places, needing a sense of control over his life. Such behavior is typical of weak-willed and soft people. Especially if a person has difficult relationships with colleagues outside of his home, difficulties at work, and only at home, by putting things in order, he feels his worth, sees the results of his work, and improves his mood.
6. The desire to grow in the eyes of a partner. Many women spend a lot of time cleaning because they want a man to appreciate such zeal for cleanliness.
7. Trying to escape stress. If a person carries difficult experiences within himself, drives himself into a corner, then by immersing himself in cleaning, he temporarily forgets about negative thoughts and relaxes.
8. Ripophobia is the fear of germs and dirt. A person cleans everything until it shines, because he is afraid of the risk of infection.
9. The presence of mental illnesses: obsessive-compulsive disorder, neurosis, psychosis.
10. The result of a ANS disorder.

What traps lie in wait for clean people?

As noted by respected psychologist David Friedman, who is the author of the best-selling book A Perfect Mess, the disease of cleanliness develops when a tidy person, without realizing it, falls victim to a series of traps. There are certainly positives to eliminating anything that seems wrong from your life, such as keeping your home clean and avoiding being late for work and appointments. However, according to the author’s observations, such behavior does not guarantee that life will instantly become ideal, and that luck will accompany you in all endeavors.

The pursuit of ideality leaves absolutely no room for creativity. In his book, David Friedman says that most famous, successful and talented people are known for being careless with their personal belongings. It is in chaos that new ideas arise. The collision of positive and negative emotions gives rise to the desire to create and explore the world around us.

People who suffer from the disease of cleanliness often spend no less free time on achieving order compared to individuals who are forced to periodically puzzle themselves by searching throughout the house for keys, glasses, a wallet, and other necessary things. If in the first case the desire for ideal causes discomfort, then unpedantic people are not prisoners of their own habits.

Behavior adjustment

Set aside specific days for cleaning
If you realize that you spend too much time putting things in order and your loved ones have repeatedly pointed out to you that you need to change something in your life and stop focusing on cleanliness, then you can listen to the following advice.

1. Try to limit yourself from daily cleaning. Set aside specific days of the week for this process. To begin with, you can choose two such days and clean only on them. Once you get used to this routine, you can move on to cleaning once a week.
2. Learn relaxation techniques, do yoga, devote time to meditation.
3. If, while cleaning, you find yourself, feel that you are bringing some benefit, and get satisfaction from it, then you can try to decide on a hobby and devote all your free time to it. This way you can feel complete and see the results of your work. But this choice will be better than obsessing over cleaning.
4. If you have a fear of infection, it is better to seek help from a psychotherapist, since it is unlikely that you will be able to get rid of such fear on your own.
5. If the desire to restore order is dictated by the need to get rid of bad thoughts, then it is better to be distracted by some other matter in moments of anxiety, remember the positive moments of your life, and think about the good.
6. If the love of cleanliness is, in fact, the result of self-doubt, it’s time to work on your own self-esteem, stop focusing on your failures and shortcomings, identify your strengths and improve them.
7. A woman absolutely does not need to lick her apartment every day until it shines. Not every man will appreciate such an impulse. Your partner will be much more grateful if you spend more time on him and not on the dishes.
8. Psychoanalysis. It is necessary when the patient cannot overcome his manic addiction on his own. A specialist will be able to identify the exact cause of this disorder and prescribe appropriate therapy:

• it can be, for example, a group one, where a person encounters other people who have similar problems;
• There may also be hypnosis therapy - the patient is put into a trance, a model of behavior that is correct is suggested;
• and cognitive-behavioral. A person realizes that not everything has to be perfect. The specialist rebuilds the patient’s way of thinking, changing lifestyles and habits.

Monotony

As a rule, housewives most often suffer from this. If a woman does not work and is forced to play the role of keeper of the hearth, then she often feels resentful that all her work goes unnoticed. To draw attention to the fact that she spends no less time and effort on making the house cozy, a lady may unconsciously begin to reach the point of absurdity.

It is important for any housewife that her husband and children respect her and consider her. If this does not happen, then such a woman will begin to perfect her assigned role in order to prove that she has no equal in housework.

Relationships with a neat guy

1. Treat such obsession with understanding. Do not bully your partner, do not think that he is doing this on purpose to throw you off balance.
2. Think about it, maybe living a clean life isn't so bad after all. Especially if your partner puts things in order himself and doesn’t force you to take part in it.
3. You need to realize that if your partner loves cleanliness, then you should not sharply oppose this. You need to understand that you cannot change everything radically. Sometimes it's better to accept him as he is. At the same time, you can correct such behavior by taking your partner out of the usual framework. However, it is often better to contact a specialist who can help identify the causes and select appropriate correction methods.
4. You can take small steps to make changes in the life of the person you live with. If your partner arranges books in a strict order or neatly hangs clothes by color, you can try changing things up, such as swapping two books. It is important to note that you are not doing this out of harm, but because you need to make changes in your life.
5. Take your partners outside the apartment. You can go on a trip or hike. Leave the place where he is cleaning more often.
6. If you notice that a person close to you has a pathological obsession with order, do everything to ensure that he agrees to seek help.

Now you know what a person who loves order is like. Remember that obsession with cleanliness can be triggered by various factors. And, before thinking about how to get rid of excessive pedantry, it’s worth figuring out what exactly the reason is and directing therapy to a specific premise. If you live with a person obsessed with cleanliness and order, do not rush to get irritated and, especially, to break off the relationship. Remember that you can always find the right approach to such a person and be happy.

Freudian purity mania

In the section Diseases, Medicines, to the question what is the name of the disease when a person maniacally strives for cleanliness? asked by the author BruteLogic the best answer is This is not a disease but a symptom. If it is rather a desire to put things in order, to keep everything in its place, to do everything the same way and a panicky fear of deviating from the usual way of acting, then this is anxiety neurosis. If this is a fear of getting dirty, a reluctance to touch people and objects because they are “dirty”, frequent whining of the hands with such force that bloody abrasions appear on them, then this could also be neurosis, but more likely schizophrenia.

The desire for purity may simply be an exaggerated character trait, not associated with any (at least obvious) mental disorder

While I was writing, an addition about bacteria appeared. If we talk about the disease, it is more likely schizophrenia.

Lover of the Order

As a child, I really loved the order in the apartment.

If I noticed that everything that had stood in the same place for a long time had now moved, I would begin to cry loudly and bitterly. She found the mother, put the matter in place so that they would immediately stop when she cut off her signal from the cormorant service.

When I was a little older, the irregularities in the house became very serious: the pen of my older brother, the father of notes, fell off the table into the trash; cleaned out my mom's stuff, which later searched all the cabinets.

One day my mother left the apartment and walked to my brother's elevator.

Then I walked down the corridor and saw that the door was open. "Error!" - I thought, and closed the door, and waited for my mother. Then I heard my mother's voice, she said something inside me, but the door did not open or appear. Then my mother left. At first I get bored, then I'm afraid, and soon I'm screaming at everyone in Ivanovo. Finally, I heard voices, then cracks in the castle, and now my mother hugged me, hugged me, kissed me and gently calmed down. But I keep crying.

In my hands, sweets and other sweets, as well as things that I had not allowed before. But I can't calm down. My name is nearby. She's a little older than me. We're having fun with him. Soon I will forget about my tears. I have only pleasant memories of this incident in my head.

About two weeks later, my mother went out onto the balcony. I saw the door open. I immediately feel good memories. I ran to the balcony, hit the door and closed it on the bottom handle. Mom turned around and saw that the door was closed. Her eyes widened, and immediately there was horror in them.

Eighth floor. Street frost. My mother wears a thin lounge suit. There is no one else in the apartment.

What neuroses does the craving for cleaning indicate?

Adviсe

The list of celebrities with a penchant for cleanliness includes stars from Nikola Tesla to Howard Hughes and Donald Trump. Are you at risk? Let's check

There is nothing wrong with blowing away dust particles and putting everything on shelves. In the absence of the desire to clean up, too. Both are absolutely normal for a balanced person. So why do some people need accuracy that turns into sterility?

Perfectionists

The thirst for order and perfectionism go hand in hand - excellent organizers and effective performers bring any task not just to the point, but to the exclamation point.

An extreme degree of perfectionism speaks of obsessive-compulsive neurosis.

People of strict rules

Clean people often adhere to strict social norms: neatness in their minds is inextricably linked with integrity.

Despite all their apparent decency, neat people are not distinguished by increased empathy, and their level of kindness is no higher than that of those who carelessly throw things around the apartment. But the obsession with order accumulates internal discomfort: a person becomes a slave to habits and rituals.

Rationalists and systematizers

Those who like to drive themselves and others into strict limits: do not spoil, break or break anything. By blocking spontaneity with the same care with which they lock cabinets or arrange stamps in albums, these people drive themselves into traps - there is no room for creativity and personal life in their world.

In addition, slobs take no more time to find the necessary little things than pedants do to maintain order.

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How to understand that you have a mania for cleanliness (and where is the norm)?

The line beyond which the desire to put things in order turns into a mania for cleanliness is easy to determine: instead of pleasure from pleasant things or the environment, anxiety and restlessness appear.

Signs of anxiety

• You start cleaning here and there several times a day. All is not lost if you catch yourself doing it yourself, and not after comments from the outside.
• You wash your hands after almost everything, too often and too thoroughly.
• You feel a growing desire to put things in order outside the house, and in someone else’s home you look around suspiciously.
• You clean at an inconvenient time, put in a lot of effort, and experience exaggerated emotions: for example, you frantically start washing the dishes three minutes before guests arrive.
• You don’t control the time allotted for cleaning and delay the process in every possible way.

Quirks or injuries?

Psychologists say: behind external manifestations there is always a serious reason for anxiety. But even at an appointment with a specialist, those who seek help will not immediately look the true threat in the face - just as the heroes of the Harry Potter books do not dare to call Voldemort by name.

Let's make a list of enemies who hide behind various phobias.

Clutterophobia: intense fear of clutter

By putting things in order, people seem to be trying to piece together life from the rubble and regain control over it. This often happens to someone who grew up in a not very prosperous environment.

Growing up and maturing, they tirelessly struggle with non-existent dirt in their homes, instead of getting rid of the garbage that fills their minds with the help of a psychologist.

Macbeth or Pilate syndrome

Deception, betrayal, painful criticism or humiliation lead to a burning desire to remove imaginary pollution. Aggressive feelings that arise from the inability to express emotions also lead to exhausting cleaning.

Such people, for example, at the moment of a quarrel, begin to carefully put things away or reproach their family about the ideal order. This seems to relieve stress, but in reality it demonstrates a desire to gain control of the situation.

Germophobia: fear of infection through touch

Germophobes are usually reserved; they won’t shake hands or peck you on the cheek. They are the ones who ride the subway wearing masks, avoid contact with pets, and over time they try not to leave the house at all, have a hard time with the arrival of guests and organize a huge cleaning after them.

It is very difficult to convince such people that their fears are unfounded - after touching a dirty surface, handrails in the subway or someone else's door handle, they experience a panic attack: spasms, lack of air, dizziness and tremors.

Cleanliness and order: good or bad

From early childhood, a person is taught the concept of “spring cleaning.” Consciously, and sometimes even intuitively, the individual strives to introduce an element of order into his own life. For example, putting all things in their places, giving them their original appearance.

If this is a child, such actions cause emotion in the parents. Whereas in fact they can be one of the indicators of the manifestation of a disorder, obsessive-compulsive. Obsessive-compulsive neurosis.

A person who loves cleanliness and one who constantly wants to do it are two different personalities. Like the one that gives preference to the result, and its opposite, which cannot imagine life without the process of achieving a goal. General cleaning once a week is good, washing dishes twice a week due to ephemeral stains is bad. Of course, in this case only the extremes of two lines of behavior are shown, but the principle should be clear.