Virtual relationships: what is it, advantages and disadvantages, advice from psychologists

What is “Virtual Relationships”

The type of relationship in question is not just correspondence with a man or woman. Some perceive it as fun on the Internet, while others become attached and gain energy from such a pastime. Girls hope to meet the right man by idealizing his image in their heads, while men can just have fun and enjoy flirting.

According to statistics, 90% of virtual relationships do not bring results and only rare couples meet in reality. What happens during virtual close communication? It's not just about exchanging messages and emojis. People really fall in love at a distance, some switch from texting to video calls.

Such novels practically crowd out real life. A person risks immersing himself in the online world and is drawn into the presented communication through a smartphone screen or monitor. This leads to the fact that communication in the real world no longer becomes relevant and interesting. After all, there is a person on the other side of the monitor who will understand, caress, and love.

Thus, we can say that virtual relationships are practically no different from real ones when it comes to feelings. You also communicate with your partner, exchanging pleasantries, but with the help of modern technology.

Love on the Internet - what is it?

Information and technological progress has brought not only a huge number of conveniences and advantages, but also created new difficulties. One of them is virtual relationships at a distance. For many, ordinary correspondence with the opposite sex is nothing more than just another fun that will go away on its own. For others, in particular girls, this is a chance to meet the one. However, most often such relationships end in heartbreak and low self-esteem.

Virtual relationships usually take place through correspondence: people exchange messages on social networks, on dating sites or chat rooms. Particularly brave potential lovers can communicate via Skype.

Often virtual communication displaces real communication. The person is gradually drawn into communication through the monitor. Therefore, the natural need to talk to someone disappears on its own.

What is the difference between virtual love and relationships?

Dating a virtual girl is not bad, but is it necessary? What is the difference between online love and relationships? A person needs love. We are born with this need. When a person falls in love, he can be called happy. For this reason, if we are unable to find a partner in life, we can turn to the Internet and find love online.

Virtual relationships represent a kind of communication between people. That is, they cannot touch, see or feel each other, there is no need to perform actions or plan a future life. That is, such communication is limited to correspondence and video calls on the Internet. They can conditionally consider themselves a couple, exchange photographs, emoticons, compliments and verbal care. For example, every day wishing good morning and making dreams.

Virtual love is mind games. People can become too attached to a long-distance partner. Often leads to the fact that a person stops living in reality - does not pay attention to pressing problems, work, study, existing family or friends. It lives only by the user who understands it and sends sweet messages on the other side of the monitor.

Lovers on the Internet rarely meet in the real world.

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But online dating can also cause very real troubles:

A sweet, gentle and touchingly courteous person on the Internet can turn out to be a real dictator in life. Not to mention more severe cases (we won’t consider maniacs with chainsaws).
The information that is available about a person on the Internet is not always true . It is quite possible that his place of residence is fictitious, the photograph was downloaded from the Internet, instead of a name there is a pseudonym, instead of a blank page in the passport there is a stamp from the registry office, and several children, whom he, naturally, did not intend to leave for you.
To please yourself with the illusion that “appearance is not the main thing” is a mistake in advance . Even if in reality a person really turns out to be a gentle romantic with great income, his appearance, voice and manner of communication can terrify you already at the first meeting.
Often “virtual love” ends in very real quarrels , as a result of which “secret personal correspondence,” photographs, as well as intimate and life details become public knowledge.

As you communicate with virtual “love,” the lines between reality and the Internet gradually blur—a chronic fear of breaking this thread, the connection with the person, appears. But real feelings cannot last indefinitely within the Network - sooner or later they will have to be interrupted or move into the phase of real communication . And here the question arises - is this necessary? Will the meeting be the beginning of the end?

Types of virtual relationships

Today, the following types of virtual love are distinguished:

Random. The partners accidentally stumbled upon each other on the Internet. For example, I liked a photo online, which was the beginning of our acquaintance. This type of relationship often ends in real marriage.
Epistolary. Previously, a similar method was the exchange of postal letters. That is, the same correspondence, but also by mail. The type of virtual romance under consideration includes an exchange of pleasantries and open flirtation. And, usually, this is where the epistolary relationship ends.
Soulful. This is a special type of communication when a person needs support. It is important that the interlocutor can listen, understand and support. People communicate with each other about their own problems, talk about painful things. This is where spiritual communication ends. It cannot develop into a romance, and especially not lead to a meeting.
Intimate. Intimate communication becomes necessary if sex is completely absent in life. Such people meet on websites and look for a partner for the night or for regular intimate meetings. This allows you to diversify your daily life, and some people try to increase their self-esteem in this way.
Natural. The main task is to find love. During communication, people get to know each other, recognize each other, and evaluate character traits. Regular relationships often end in a happy marriage.

Virtual love for a virtual person

Our lives are becoming more and more virtual. Virtual work, virtual communication, virtual entertainment. And so, this series includes the most precious thing - love. Many people are sincerely convinced that what they feel in relation to an unknown and distant Internet interlocutor can be called love. Well, or at least virtual love.

Many questions arise here. What are we afraid of when we avoid relationships with living, real people? What are we looking for when we choose to be in a relationship with someone we don’t know and can’t get to know well because our relationship is virtual? What are the prospects and dangers of virtual relationships?

Preparing for family life should not be skipped

Virtual game of virtual love

Ekaterina Leonova, 22 years old Gradually, I began to notice that I also liked this person - he gave me what my husband did not give me - support, warmth. Simple words of understanding, sympathy, and consolation can sometimes help a lot. My husband, although he was physically nearby, had not shown any desire to support me for a long time, and his conversations more and more often came down to short everyday phrases - he was completely absorbed in the game, all his strength, thoughts and feelings were there, and not with me…

In virtual love, be interested in a real person

Psychologist Alexander Kolmanovsky What pushes people into virtual relationships, into virtual love? The same as for ordinary love. But love, it turns out, comes in different types. True love is the need to “do good” to the object of your feelings. Having understood this, we can easily see in our relationships the presence of the opposite feeling - this is the need for us to feel good. That is, the need is not to give pleasure, but to receive it. This need becomes more acute in a person who really lacks something in life...

Dependent people are prone to virtual love

Psychologist Mikhail Kamelev The girl corresponded with a young man, he was in another city, and by the time she came to the reception, their correspondence had already lasted for two years, but during this time they had never met. Very often, the reason for such long-term virtual love is that the person sitting at the computer is not the same person as he imagines himself to be. The girl in the photographs was quite attractive, everything was in Photoshop, but she had problems with weight, and she tried to fight it for two years, setting goals to get herself in order in order to meet him. We worked with her for six months, she lost weight, and when she was already sure that she could now meet him, she offered to meet him, but then he fidgeted...

Secondary benefits of virtual love

Family psychologist Irina Rakhimova As crazy as it may sound, in our modern times it has become easier to get the love we need and find a way out for our feelings on the Internet than in real life. And expressing your feelings in writing is much easier than in actions. And if a person to whom no one has ever spoken “beautiful words of love” in his life suddenly begins to receive such words in every letter, then he will most likely believe them - he will fall for flattery. We must also take into account that many do not hear kind words of love addressed to them even in their parental family - this is somehow not accepted here...

Virtual love needs further development to become love

Psychologist Igor Lyubitov Sometimes the feelings that arise in virtual relationships are also due to the fact that at one time a person despaired or refused to interact with people in order to regulate his conditions, he abandoned people as unreliable, uncontrollable and unmanageable, and chose items that are more controllable. This is about the same as using mood-altering chemicals, e.g. drugs. I don't want to deal with people, they are unreliable, I would rather use a chemical to regulate some specific conditions. Both virtual reality and virtual love provide a more convenient means for resolving some of the effects in that person's life than real people can provide.

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The dangers of virtual relationships

Online relationships have consequences. The main problem is dependency. People get carried away with communication and forget about reality. At the same time, such a novel loosens the tongue. That is, the interlocutor can easily start lying, and you won’t know about it. For example, talk about a non-existent good position.

Let's consider the problems of relationships in the network:

Self-identification. The interlocutor can assign himself a non-existent role - put on a mask and adhere to a certain legend. This leads to habit and a person eventually loses his own individuality.
Addiction. Problems and complexes lead to communication on the Internet. At the same time, real troubles do not disappear on their own, but on the contrary, they intensify. That is, a person simply hides from reality in the virtual world, from which it then becomes increasingly difficult to escape. After all, it’s easier to plunge into a fictional world where you are supported and loved than to deal with pressing problems.
A habit of lying is formed. Finding out whether the interlocutor is telling the truth is difficult. You can invent a good job, status position, financial component, etc. Usually, the habit of cheating on the Internet smoothly transfers into everyday life.

Is it necessary to move from virtual to real?

It all depends on your moral readiness and the purpose of communication. Sometimes it is better not to move from the virtual world to the real one. However, if the desire to meet in life is mutual, then why should you resist? If your wishes do not come true, then let it be a lesson. As they say, it is better to do something and regret it than not to do it and also regret it.

You should not have high hopes for a meeting in reality. Often people become just good friends. Often the first meeting in life becomes the last. The interlocutor does not have to meet your expectations, just as you do not have to meet his.

Virtual relationships are all about experience: whether good or not depends on the situation. However, this experience is priceless. It’s better to meet a person in life and chat. In this case, you can consider it. What if, indeed, this person is the one you’ve been looking for for so long?!

Pros and cons of such love

Advantages:

Communicate anywhere there is an Internet connection.
There is time to think about the answer to the question received.
You can show your good side.
Ability to avoid conflict situations.
You can talk about all your problems and get support.
Meet interesting personalities.
There is no need to think about appearance. You just need to make an impression.

Flaws:

Fear of meeting. You can be disappointed in a person.
A dependency is formed.
It is difficult to live up to the created image.
Attachment.
Habit of lying.
The risk of losing the skill in live communication.

How to make a relationship a reality and is it worth doing?

Traveling online with serious intentions is not a one-way ticket. You will have to return to earth and meet your chosen one if you dream of a real family, a cozy home and heirs. You choose the time when to go offline.

Start by switching your communication mode from text to voice and video messages. Try to discuss topics related to everyday life more often: professional achievements, everyday problems.

The following signs indicate the degree of your readiness to hug your partner and confess your feelings to him face to face at a table in a cafe:

There was a feeling that you had known each other for a long time, there was no fear of facing the unknown.
Your desire to see each other is mutual.
There are specific plans for a future together.

If everything goes perfectly in online dating and dreams come true, then you should definitely try to move into the real world. A fictional love boat does not always crash against the truth of life. Many people manage to make a fairy tale come true. Those who don't take risks don't drink champagne at the wedding table.

Did the pandemic help?

If you believe the statistics, then recently the interest of citizens in sex has not only not fallen, but, on the contrary, has increased significantly. Thanks to the period of self-isolation that we all experienced this spring, as well as remote work, which many still remain in, people who have rested from many years of lack of sleep finally have time for their personal lives and sexual experiments. What many did not fail to do. Here are some statistics to prove it. In March 2020, adult products increased in popularity by 300% compared to the same period last year. And the sale of erotic lingerie increased by 110% (in particular, nurses’ costumes began to be purchased 2.5 times more compared to the same period a year ago). In Russia, condoms have become more expensive than buckwheat. In the first quarter of 2020, their sales increased by almost a quarter. The same process took place in the world.

However, not everyone had the opportunity to go on a “sex vacation.” And if the happy spouses did not get bored during the period of self-isolation, then for many other people the pandemic, on the contrary, significantly upset their personal lives.

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Virtual dating: advantages

Meeting people online is safer than, say, in a cafe. There will be no rush or embarrassment, no extra eyes. And the right to choose will be yours - if you want, continue communication, but if you want, no. Not bad already, right?
On the Internet everyone is free and equal. Many people like to embellish reality, and for such people you can’t think of a better place than the Internet.
Let’s say that an adult woman can easily pass herself off as a twenty-year-old model, and “Plumber Petya” can become the owner of an elite restaurant. Cheating is, of course, bad, but everyone may have their own reasons for this. But besides such dreamers, you can meet sincere and nice people online. And perhaps your love.