Technique No. 1. Use positive navigation
- Captain, what should we do? We are surrounded!
- Great. Now we can attack from all sides.
Unknown author
Everyone knows that it is important to set yourself up for good, but few people use this recommendation every day. Try to maintain a positive attitude before and during a stressful situation. Set your inner compass to be positive. The anxiety will go away on its own.
To do this, speak in a positive manner. Do not use phrases such as: “If I manage to get this position”, “When we get this client, then...”. Say: “When I get this position, then...”, “After we get the client...”. Get used to expressing yourself this way. This technique can help even if you haven't prepared for a stressful event.
The benefits of positive navigation can be seen in evolution. Of our prehistoric ancestors, only those who could experience a minimum of anxiety when solving problems survived. Panic could cost lives. Because people with positive attitudes were more likely to survive and pass on their genes to their descendants, this type of thinking has become an important factor in success today.
Muscle clamps
So, I will repeat. When talking about a “tight string,” which has been in this state for some time, we are always talking about overstrain in the body, even if the reason for the “tightness” is purely psychological. In principle, this is a fairly obvious and, one might say, “easy” point in every sense. There are a lot of practitioners of working with the body now, there is plenty to choose from. I will focus on what helped me and what I can recommend.
Massage course
The simplest, most famous. It does not solve complex problems, but rather alleviates them, but massage still remains one of the most important ways of relaxation for me. Through experimentation, I came up with the formula for a personal express course in case of some problem - an isolated daily massage only at the point that hurts. For example, in case of pain in the shoulders, intensive back massage with emphasis on the shoulders for 7-10 days in a row without a break.
I know that some experts are against this approach and believe that you need to go for an intense massage every other day. I am not giving out recommendations, but only sharing my personal experience - by trying out different approaches, I came to exactly this formula, and some massage therapists later actually confirmed my guess.
If muscle tension is concentrated in the shoulders or neck, as it was in my case, intensive daily massage is necessary to allow the muscles to realign. The main thing is that the effect is not very long in one session: 10–15 minutes on the sore area, and the rest of the time should be spent on warming up and working on neighboring areas. So, for the neck I did a 30-minute massage of the collar area, where the neck itself is given 10-15 intense minutes, and for the shoulders - an hour-long back massage, with an emphasis on the shoulders and shoulder blades (about 15-20 minutes). On the eighth day there was noticeable relief.
Osteopath
I had a period during my battle with insomnia when my neck was pinched in the same place exactly once every six months.
Without any action on my part, everything passed and fell into place in three weeks, with massage and even manual therapy (when the neck is twisted until it cracks) - as in that joke about treating a cold - it passed in the same three weeks.
But when I ended up at the osteopath, a miracle happened. Immediately after the first session, 50% of my mobility returned, and exactly a week later and two more visits, everything was completely gone. Then I signed up for a full course of 10 sessions, which were already extended over time. Since then, the problem of frequent pinching has ceased to bother me.
In general, osteopathy is such magic, at least from the outside. A good osteopath is not a chiropractor, he doesn’t crunch your limbs, it’s as if he’s doing nothing, just touching you lightly with his hands, and that’s all. If it weren’t for the specific example with the neck, I probably wouldn’t have really believed in all this, especially for that kind of money (osteopaths are not cheap specialists). But it’s hard to argue with the real results.
Osteopathy is more effective than massage in many aspects of working with imbalances and overstrains; it literally copes with pinches on the spot, but it is still not a magic wand, as some adherents like to imagine it. The clamps may simply return to their place after therapy.
Yoga of Critical Alignment
This is my favorite. Deep work with clamps and curvatures of the back - thoracic region and lower back - using special equipment. This is passive yoga, without load, in any case, your will is not required to perform the exercises, rather non-resistance and acceptance of the sensations that come to you during the process.
Regular exercises give not just a temporary effect, but they rebuild the body, relieve muscle tension, straighten the spine, and solve problems of pain in the neck, thoracic region and lower back. A very cool and effective thing, unfortunately, it is not yet very widespread both in Russia and in the world.
They even talk about treating hernias using this method, I can only say that after the first lessons I felt a weight literally lifted, not only from my back, but also from my psyche. And all the teachers of this method that I have seen personally have a perfectly straight, relaxed back. That is, not this - “hold your back”, as if you had swallowed a stake, but a straight spine, in which you don’t need to hold anything - the back is straight on its own, naturally.
What else worked?
Yoga nidra and high-quality shavasana are yogic relaxation practices; floating is a state of weightlessness in very salty water to completely relax the body, but with blocks in the neck, like mine, for example, it was difficult to completely relax.
What didn't work?
Unfortunately, the “just rest” and “give yourself time” approach I took in the first months. When there are physical clamps in the body, they need to be removed through impact, they are reflexively clamped, and simply rest no longer works. Personally, manual therapy was not suitable for me, I am afraid of all these sharp manipulations with my body and crunches, and I tighten even more. Fitness - although I did not use it entirely correctly here, it does not aim to remove tension in the muscles, it, on the contrary, pumps them up, so in my case fitness aggravated the problem and pain, and did not relieve it. For some reason, independent work a la “did yoga and lay in shavasana” didn’t work out very well; in this case, the group approach and work with specialists gave much more than personal practices. But this is all purely individual and does not pretend to be anything other than a reflection of my subjective experience.
Technique No. 2. Imagine the situation is not so important
There is one psychological law: the more importance we attach to a situation, the more nervous we become and often ruin everything. This is human nature. Anxiety greatly affects our behavior. We do not even perform basic tasks well.
Imagine: a surgeon performing open-heart surgery was unable to cope with his anxiety because his patient was the mayor of the city. And... killed him. The operation ended unsuccessfully because the doctor could not do his usual things well. Terrible, isn't it? This is a fictitious example, but in every field there are similar situations where our inability to control ourselves leads to disaster.
Therefore, it is worth going from the opposite.
Is presentation, conversation, exam, game very important to you? Can you imagine that it’s not! Tell yourself, “This is just another presentation.” And you will see how the wave of anxiety begins to subside.
In conclusion
The accumulation of stress is not a one-day process, and relaxing your strings will take time. Don’t expect that your muscles and psyche will instantly succumb to the effects and everything will go away right away. On the contrary, it is known that after a short course of massage or a visit to an osteopath, after temporary relief, sometimes everything returns to normal, because the muscles, succumbing to the inertia of memory, return to the original position of tension to which they are accustomed. Perestroika, like losing weight, must go slowly so that the effect is permanent and not accompanied by excessive stress on the body.
Your string is used to being stretched, this is its natural position, and to change the situation will require patience and systematic actions to relax on all fronts. A set of measures and sufficient time are needed to loosen the grip and enter a slightly more relaxed state of dynamic balance.
Technique No. 3. Expect anything
On the eve of an important day, imagine the most unexpected scenarios. Let's say tomorrow you present a project that you've been working on for a whole year. What could go wrong and what will you do? Let's get creative.
Ask yourself any questions, even those that seem most incredible: “What if, instead of half an hour, I am given five minutes to speak?”, “What if I forget the flash drive with the presentation?”, “What if the laptop or projector breaks?”, “What , what if there are terrible traffic jams in the city in the morning?” This is useful because it prepares you for a real situation.
The fact is that most of us react painfully to unexpected events. “He simply lost his composure and couldn’t cope,” fans say about a football player who just can’t recover from an unsuccessful goal at the beginning of the match and ruins the whole game.
To prevent this from happening to you, just do a mental rehearsal. Don't forget that preparing without a plan is preparing to fail.
Psychologist Olga Poddyakova
Who is a psychologist? Who is a psychotherapist?
What are the differences between psychological counseling and psychotherapy?
How can a psychologist help another person solve his problem?
What are the guarantees that the help of a psychologist will be effective and the client will solve his problem?
What do they pay a psychologist for, for talking?
Can a psychologist help in one meeting?
Can a psychologist “see” people through and immediately tell a person what his main problem is and how to solve it?
Can a psychologist answer a client’s question: “Am I normal?”
Does a qualified psychologist need to have experience in personal psychotherapy and work with another psychologist as a client?
Why does a psychologist, when working with a client, pay such great importance to the client’s self-knowledge?
Who is a psychologist? Who is a psychotherapist?
A practicing psychologist is a person who has received professional training in the field of psychology and received an appropriate state diploma.
A psychologist works with the normal difficulties of mentally normal people. The psychologist does not solve his problem for the client, but helps the client himself find a way out of a difficult situation. A psychotherapist is a doctor who has received professional training in the field of psychiatry and psychotherapy.
Let us give the most general definition of psychotherapy. Psychotherapy (its psychological model) is help with words that is provided to a person suffering from psychological difficulties.
In our country, a psychologist who has received a higher psychological education cannot formally be called a psychotherapist. But, in essence, a psychologist who has been trained in clinical psychology and has completed a long-term training program in psychotherapy (in addition to a university education) has all the necessary skills to practice psychotherapy.
Thus, the significant difference between a psychotherapist and a qualified psychologist is the availability of medical education and the right to prescribe medications. As for professional psychotherapeutic skills, both a psychotherapist and a clinical psychologist who has completed a long-term training program in psychotherapy possess them equally.
A psychotherapist (or psychoneurologist) can use drug therapy together with psychotherapy, or only drug therapy if the patient is at risk of suicide or has a mental illness. If a psychologist working with a client suspects the presence of these risk factors, then he consults his client with a neuropsychiatrist in order to support psychotherapy with medication. In cases where there is no serious mental illness, medications may not help (or help temporarily) because relieving the symptom by taking pills does not solve the psychological problem. A person’s psychological difficulties can be solved not by medication, but only by psychological methods.
If you still have questions after reading this article, write me about them by email, I will be happy to answer them.
to the begining
What are the differences between psychological counseling and psychotherapy?
Psychological counseling differs from psychotherapy in terms of delivery and results. The methods of conducting psychological counseling and psychotherapy are similar: basically, it is a conversation; psychotherapy also uses drawing, playing out life situations, role-playing experiments, working with plasticine, clay, sand and other methods.
The fundamental difference between counseling and psychotherapy is the result of the work. As a result of psychological counseling, the client becomes aware of the possible reasons for his behavior, sees inconsistencies between his behavior and his goals that he had not seen before, and the psychologist can give appropriate recommendations. All this remains only at the level of the client’s knowledge about his problem situation.
As a result of psychotherapy, the client receives new abilities and new opportunities to resolve this problematic situation, and, as a rule, during psychotherapy, he changes it for the better and implements the solutions found.
Thus, psychological counseling is only a prologue for further psychotherapy.
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How can a psychologist help another person solve his problem?
In post-Soviet society, the services of a psychologist or psychotherapist are still relatively new. Often in difficult life situations, people try to use the advice of friends: “get it all out of your head”, “don’t worry”, “abstract and relax”, and as a rule, such advice does not help much, because it is precisely “forgetting”, suppressing negative experiences leads to their “stagnation”. Only a psychologist can guide the client in such a way that the experience of a traumatic situation is truly completed and not “thrown out of his head.” It is this completeness of a traumatic situation that gives rise to a new meaning for a person. For example: What lessons did I learn from the divorce? What did the difficult experience of experiencing conflict at work teach me? A psychologically competent end to a traumatic situation ensures that a person stops reacting painfully to unpleasant memories and gains the strength to live on, taking into account the lessons learned.
Example: a woman divorces her husband, who has gone to live with another family. This dramatic situation is accompanied by complex feelings of anger at her husband, her own guilt for being a bad wife, fear of how to live alone now, how to build relationships with other men again, despair because she is no longer so young and no one not needed, shame from being abandoned, and so on. Suppressing, “forgetting” these experiences, the desire to “switch”, “throw yourself into work” can lead to prolonged depression, which can last for years. Suppressed experiences will remain in the soul of this woman. What will be the outcome? And ten years later, she will painfully remember her husband’s departure as her greatest misfortune in life, and see this as the reason for her own loneliness, instability, and lack of interest in life.
In this case, working with a psychologist can help a woman fully express these painful experiences, which always leads to a weakening of psychological suffering and a decrease in mental pain. Working with a psychologist, a woman gradually realizes that, despite the fact that this man rejected her, she continues to remain feminine and attractive to other men, she has the opportunity for her own development, both personally and professionally. She will feel like a self-sufficient person, capable of building her future life regardless of the psychological trauma she has experienced. She will remember her ex-husband with gratitude for the fact that he was in her life. She will feel grateful that, having gone through this mental test and finally experiencing separation from him, she felt her strength, inner personal integrity, and did not cease to feel like a desirable and attractive woman, capable of starting a family with another man. And the achieved feeling of inner harmony will be one of the most important components of her happiness.
A psychologist, without the client’s knowledge, never uses hypnosis, suggestion, or any other techniques that may have an impact on the client’s psyche. A psychologist helps with conversation, with words, and this is precisely what is the most effective help for a suffering person.
“People benefit only from the truths that they discover for themselves” - these are the words of the wonderful American psychotherapist Irvin Yalom. It is this principle that guides a qualified psychologist who will never advise or decide for a client how to live next. But he will always be with the client in the sometimes painful process of finding a solution. A psychologist can be compared to a climber’s guide in the mountains. The guide never takes the climber on the difficult path to the top, but he suggests an easier and surer path, protects him from cracks and steep rocks, and lends a helping hand when he is needed. In the same way, a psychologist will not be able to walk your path for you in the labyrinth of finding the right solution. But, like an obstetrician assisting in childbirth, a psychologist helps a new solution be born with maximum efficiency and speed, and least painlessly for the client.
to the begining
What are the guarantees that the help of a psychologist will be effective and the client will solve his problem?
Imagine that a person comes to see a doctor with a physical illness and asks him if he can give a one hundred percent guarantee of his recovery. What will the doctor answer? Most likely, the answer will be approximately as follows: “I cannot give you a 100% guarantee, since there are diseases from which people, as a rule, are cured, and there are chronic diseases that require constant prevention of exacerbations. Your recovery largely depends on you, on your discipline in performing medical procedures, on your persistence in striving to recover. I, as a doctor, guarantee the creation of those conditions under which recovery is most likely.”
A psychologist, just like a doctor, guarantees the creation of those conditions under which recovery is most likely. And of course, as in the case of medical diseases, when recovery largely depends on the patient himself, success in working with a psychologist depends on the client, on his desire to understand how he lives, on his curiosity about his inner world, on his perseverance.
to the begining
What do they pay a psychologist for, for talking?
Yes, for the conversation. But this is no ordinary conversation. A psychologist’s conversation has its own characteristics, special warmth and sincerity, warmth and meaningfulness. A psychologist who cannot win over a person during a conversation and instill trust in him can hardly count on success in practical work.
The help provided by a psychologist often comes down to a sincere, frank conversation with the client. Almost always, when talking through or formulating one’s problem in a conversation with a qualified specialist, a person unexpectedly begins to relate to it in a completely new way and understand its essence. Professional psychological help lies in the art of formulating questions in such a way, conducting a conversation in such a way that a person can find a way out of a difficult life situation for himself. Consultation with a psychologist is most effective precisely in this case, because the solution, the solution, is found by the client independently, without external pressure or prompting. Accordingly, a person’s attitude towards the solutions found will be more trusting - after all, these are his own thoughts. The famous American doctor, psychologist, psychotherapist Milton Erickson considered such a result for a practicing psychologist to be the best indicator of the highest degree of qualification.
To an inexperienced observer, the work of a psychologist may seem easy and does not require special skills. But this is illusory lightness. Behind the elegance and ease of a psychologist’s work there are always hidden many years of training and practice, hundreds of hours of work under the supervision of more experienced colleagues, a huge amount of literature read, reflections and discussions with colleagues. When working with a client, the right path is not always found immediately. The work of a psychologist is not limited by the time of his direct communication with the client. Very often, after the end of the consultation, there is a thorough analysis of the past conversation, doubts “was everything done correctly?”, sympathy for the client, concern for him. All this is the work of the soul.
to the begining
Can a psychologist help in one meeting?
Sometimes yes. If only advisory assistance is required, then two to three meetings are sufficient. If a client, while working with a psychologist, wants to achieve a solution to a problem situation, and not gain knowledge about how this can be done independently (but not all psychological problems can be solved independently, even after receiving appropriate recommendations), then longer work is required. Sometimes a series of weekly consultations over several weeks is required.
A person is not able to quickly change in his personal manifestations. For example, a hot-tempered, emotionally sensitive person cannot quickly become stable and control the manifestations of his emotions, and a person who is not accustomed to being aware of his feelings cannot quickly learn to do this. Any rapid changes are superficial and reversible. Therefore, if an adult wants stable changes in his personal characteristics, then this is, as a rule, long-term work.
In any case, the first meeting with a psychologist is always indicative, when two people take a closer look at each other. The client decides for himself whether he can trust this specialist, and the psychologist decides whether he will take up working with this client or recommend him to a colleague who is more experienced in this area. If an agreement on further work is reached, then, as a rule, the first 8–10 meetings are scheduled, after which preliminary results are summed up: what was achieved, what changes have already occurred in the client, what are the client’s further expectations from working with a psychologist, and so on. If after some time the client decides that he is ready to cope with his difficulties on his own without the help of a specialist, then to complete the work (especially if it has been long) another final meeting is required, at which the results of the joint work are summed up and comprehended.
to the begining
Can a psychologist “see” people through and immediately tell a person what his main problem is and how to solve it?
No, It is Immpossible. You should not trust people who offer this kind of service. A qualified psychologist avoids making any diagnoses, much less giving ready-made advice for all occasions. Despite the fact that there are people with similar character traits and personality types, each person is an individual who cannot be read like an open book. A person will never understand another person 100%. And this is perhaps the most interesting thing in relationships, when there is room for surprise at the unique essence of the other.
to the begining
Can a psychologist answer a client’s question: “Am I normal?”
Very often people are tormented by a secret question: “Am I normal? Is it normal that I suffer so much from the fact that I often cry over trifles / get irritated / offended / scared and so on? Am I normal if everyone around me seems to be happy with life, and only I suffer in my soul?”
The question of a psychological norm and not a norm is a very difficult question, since the boundaries between a conditionally normal person, a person with pronounced personal accentuations and a person with mental disorders are blurred and not clearly defined. Very often, the question of one’s own normality arises among people who are well adapted and socialized in society, are active in their professional activities, and achieve certain success in it. But their personal sphere has a number of features. Firstly, they are emotionally more sensitive than the people around them. This means that they are easily vulnerable, more anxious, and more susceptible to stress. And secondly, their level of intellectual development allows them to notice and analyze their actions and the actions of others, compare themselves with others, and think about the reasons for the frequent discrepancy between a person’s external behavior and his internal state. These people often need to believe that they have the right to be more emotional than those around them. And in this, the help of a psychologist is invaluable. Since very often people with such a mental organization become psychologists, but due to the knowledge gained and experience of undergoing their own personal psychotherapy, they are able to provide support to those who are tormented by questions of their own “normality”.
to the begining
Does a qualified psychologist need to have experience in personal psychotherapy and work with another psychologist as a client?
Yes, to work effectively with a client, a qualified psychologist undergoes his own psychotherapy as a client with a more experienced specialist. This is necessary so that the psychologist’s own psychological problems do not interfere with his work with the client. This is necessary for the psychologist’s stability when dealing with various difficult experiences of the client. Completing more than 50 hours of personal psychotherapy (50 hours is a weekly visit to a psychologist for an entire year) is a prerequisite for certification as a psychologist upon completion of long-term training programs (usually such programs last from 2 to 3 years) of professional training as a psychotherapist.
to the begining
Why does a psychologist, when working with a client, pay such great importance to the client’s self-knowledge?
Why is self-knowledge necessary if many people live perfectly well without it, especially without delving into deep reflection about themselves?
Imagine that a person wants to drive a car, but does not know at all which way to approach it. In order to move in the right direction, you first need to know how the car can move, where the energy for movement comes from. In order to effectively achieve the intended goals, a person must know himself, his true needs (which are not always conscious and clear), his ways of establishing contact with the outside world. This is especially important when there is a slippage, something doesn’t work out, when “I want, but I can’t”: I want, but I can’t find a new job, make peace with a friend, get along with a child, get rid of an acute feeling of loneliness, and so on. Then I need to turn to my inner world and explore what is stopping me from achieving what I want? After all, not only an evil boss, a demanding mother, a capricious child, an inattentive friend are to blame for the fact that my relationship with them does not work out? Something also depends on me, right? And even more: a lot in my life depends on me. Only I am the creator of my own life!
The work of a psychologist can often be compared to the work of a doctor. Just like a doctor, a psychologist is, first of all, guided by the principle “do no harm.” Just like in a doctor's office, strict confidentiality is maintained in the work of a psychologist. The path to recovery from a physical illness can lie through physical pain (for example, during surgery), and recovery from a psychological illness often lies through the pain of sad, painful experiences. The birth of a new personality is not without psychological pain, just as the birth of a person is not without labor pain. Meeting with mental pain (sadness, grief, despair, fear, resentment, guilt) is a chance to get rid of it, since only expressed and lived feelings weaken and stop tormenting a person.
There is another parallel in the work of a psychologist and a doctor. It is reliably known that the vast majority of diseases are of a psychosomatic nature. They arise not when something is disturbed in the human body, but when harmony is disturbed at the psychological level. So, against the background of a divorce, a person suddenly develops a stomach ulcer, or a headache begins to ache after a “hushed” conflict, or after a breakup in a relationship with a man, a woman’s lymph nodes suddenly become inflamed (inflammation also suddenly disappears after working with a psychologist, aimed at understanding the painful experiences of separation with a once close person). While the disease has not yet become chronic, when the symptoms have just appeared, the psychologist can effectively help the client realize what traumatic influence from his environment the body responds to with pain. When the pain from psychological trauma is suppressed (we were all taught in childhood that we should not worry, show our feelings, we should not be angry, offended, envious, and so on), then the body responds with pain, because the body and soul are an inextricable unity, the name to whom is a person.
to the begining
Technique No. 4. Love the tension
The simplest thing you can do is make friends with the state of tension. Just think: you have a chance to reach unprecedented heights. It is fortunate that fate challenges you. You can show the world your talents. Weisinger recommends thinking of tension as something pleasant and good.
What is tension for you? Fear and anxiety or pleasure and intrigue? Agree, these are different things.
As you know, it is not the situation itself that is important, but only how we treat it. You have the power to change this.
Try to remember more often that psychological stress is healthy. Think, visualize and repeat this to yourself often.
If you remember to do this regularly, you will be protected from instant subconscious reactions. Your subconscious will be ready for any stress. Of course, when everything is about to happen, repeat it like a mantra so that the effect is stronger.
"Speaking out negative feelings"
Define your bad state. What is it: sadness, anxiety, resentment?..
This is enough to make you feel better! Do you think it's nonsense? But your brain thinks differently!
In one study, participants were shown photos of people with different facial expressions and their brain responses were measured. As expected, the amygdala responded to the depicted emotions.
But when participants were asked to name these emotions, their ventrolateral prefrontal cortex became more active and their amygdala activity decreased. In other words, naming emotions reduced their impact on the person.
And so, speak out your negative states. If it's sadness, allow yourself to be sad. If anxiety, then why? What are you worried about, what are you afraid of? You need to look your fears in the face! Fear, like shame, gives rise to very low vibrations.
By the way, do you know about vibrations? Vibrations are energy waves that we broadcast to the world. And whether we like it or not, they are accepted by the people around us. That is, our states are easily captured by other people. And if you broadcast shame, fear, anger, rage and resentment, in return you get the same or nothing. You are simply simply bypassed. In general, it is impossible to expect that in response to anger, fear and other negativity you will receive a positive reaction, much less love in return.
Read also about vibrations: “What will happen when you start living at higher vibrations”
Technique No. 5. Focus on your mission
Everything you do is subordinated to some goal or long-standing dream. People who work 12 hours a day don't do it because they love staying in the office late. They want to earn money for their own home, provide their parents with a comfortable old age, and give their children an excellent education.
Tense situations are the perfect moment to remember why you started it all. The clearer your main life goal, the easier it is to cope with psychological pressure.
Plus, when you are focused on your mission, distracting thoughts and external influences will create less interference. You can't think about everything at the same time.
Master these techniques and you'll be able to relieve yourself of stress when you need to perform at your best. You will learn to reduce anxiety and worry, be more focused, and better manage your behavior.
For Lifehacker readers there is a 50% discount on the e-book “Under Pressure” by the publishing house MYTH, in which you will find other emergency techniques for overcoming tension. To get a discount, enter the promo code STRESS on the MIF website! The promotion is valid until December 18.
"Letter of Liberation"
This is another technique for working with negative states. Briefly about the essence of the method.
You want to find an answer to a question, solve a problem, understand your conditions, your fears, for example. You formulate a question/task and start writing.
Write down everything that comes to your mind. Write quickly, without evaluating, rewriting, checking, correcting, reading or other distractions. So quickly that you don’t have time to comprehend what’s written. Endless. Easily. Without trying to understand.
And after some time you get an answer. Bring it out with your own hand. A few words or phrases that put everything in its place and often discourage with its obviousness and depth.
This is the whole method. It's so simple and brilliant. In general, writing is an excellent technique for working with grievances, letting go and accepting the situation.
In my master class Overcome a breakup and become happy, this technique is described in great detail in the form of several exercises, by doing which you will come to an awareness of all the problems in the relationship and make a decision that will free you from pain, mental suffering, open the way to balance and harmony.
Read more about this method here.
