We are different: how men experience a breakup

Sad man in a mask

Close relationships have come to an end - separation is inevitable. Partners separate, experiencing pain, resentment, disappointment and emptiness. It is not true that a woman suffers more in such a situation. She is more emotional, so she does not hide her feelings. Frank conversations with a friend, tears, scandals and hysterics become a lifeline that helps to cope with resentment. A man acts differently. He hides suffering deep inside himself, so it is difficult to see how a man experiences a breakup.

Types and features of separations

Each romance has its own history, personal subtext and reasons for the termination of the relationship. At first glance, it seems that the relationship ends due to a lack of love for each other: no feelings, no relationship. But more often than not, the couple ceases to exist together, maintaining mutual feelings deep in their souls.

There may be several reasons for separation:

  • Exhaustion of feelings. The first reason for which a break occurs. This is the very case when love dies. It doesn't matter how long a man and woman have been together. If warm feelings towards your partner have disappeared, passion and desire to be together have disappeared - the relationship has outlived its usefulness. There is no point in continuing to exist together. People get tired of each other and dream of breaking the union.
  • New love. The appearance of a third party is a good enough reason to split a love relationship. It doesn’t matter from which side the change occurred, the woman fell in love with another guy or the man dreams of another couple, they cannot be together. There is a place in the heart for another person and the presence of the “unloved” half causes a feeling of annoyance, guilt and discomfort.
  • Treason. The betrayal of a loved one deals a painful blow to the partner’s feelings and self-esteem. Betrayal is difficult to survive and forgive, and when a couple finds itself in a similar situation, the offended party seeks to break the union.
  • A novel without continuation. A girl or guy can break off a relationship if they don't see any progress. When one partner dreams of family life and children, and the other prefers to continue the “romantic euphoria,” the romance sooner or later comes to a dead end. In most cases, a partner eager for marriage decides to break off the union and go looking for a worthy life partner, even if warm and tender feelings remain in his soul for this partner.
  • Disagreements and quarrels. Some couples consist of a stormy mixture of temperaments, strong and negative emotions, claims, jealousy and a constant atmosphere of struggle. Partners constantly sort things out, trying to establish personal leadership and prove their point of view. There are many reasons for a quarrel: lack of attention, jealousy, unsettled home life. Partners live in a state of “love-hate”. They quarrel violently, passionately make up, but sooner or later this pattern of behavior begins to oppress and leads to the idea of ​​​​changing the relationship or partner.
  • Third wheel. Secret relationships in which, in addition to the wife and husband, there is a mistress, sooner or later lead to a break: they leave the mistress or divorce the wife.
  • Manipulative attack. In this case, the breakup is provoked by the ulterior motives of the partner, who is trying to achieve his goal by ending the relationship. Most often, actions are supported by a long wait for some kind of decision on the part of the partner: the issue of marriage, children or any other situations. Feeling disappointed and irritated by the inaction of the other half, a man or woman rudely abandons his partner in order to teach him a lesson and encourage him to make an important decision.

READ How to break up with a guy if you love him, but there is no future: advice from a psychologist

Why is he acting strange

The more affection an abandoned man had, the more stupid and bad he can act towards his ex-partner. Of course, this principle cannot by any means apply to everyone, but many exhibit these behaviors as a means of coping with pain.

This is because guys need to appear immune to emotional pain, so to appear alpha male, they need to be in control of their emotions. All of this brings us to the 10 most common behaviors men use as part of a breakup.

Types of gaps

Breakups are difficult or easy, depending on the situation and the people in the couple. Some relationships have a logical conclusion, others have a difficult ending, and sometimes cause life-long emotional trauma.

Women wonder if strong men get over breakups. It seems that behind the impenetrable male armor hides a stern, stony heart. Fortunately or unfortunately, this opinion is wrong. A man’s feelings and behavior often depend on the characteristics of the breakup.

Types of gaps

There are several types of separation:

  • Peaceful break. When a couple experiences a fading of feelings and ceases to experience unity, the partners coexist together out of habit, coming to a mutual agreement that it is better for them to spend the next period in life separately. Most often, friendly relations remain between them. They part ways calmly, maintaining respect for each other in their souls and gratitude for all the good things that happened between them.
  • Time-out. A pause in the relationship or temporary separation is a reasonable decision for a couple who has mutual feelings but is experiencing some disagreements or difficulties in the relationship. After a forced pause, the partners come together again or finally put an end to the ending of the novel.
  • Tragic end. The most painful separation occurs when one of the couple categorically does not agree to end the love relationship.

A man's feelings during a breakup

Having ended a relationship with a loved one, women find no place in grief.
The world becomes gray, prickly, joyless. They become depressed and worry very much. For days on end, the girl sheds tears, reminiscing about the best moments she experienced with her boyfriend. Real grief comes into her life, which, it seems, cannot be consoled. At the same time, men look persistent and impenetrable. However, this does not mean at all that they are indifferent to the essence of what is happening. Women don't really know how men experience separation from their loved one.

READ How to painlessly part with a loved one: advice from a psychologist

From childhood, the stronger sex is brought up differently from the weaker half of humanity. Boys are taught to hide their feelings, to be strong, not to express emotions. Sensual guys are called “whiners”, they are treated with contempt, and men gradually take root in the role of a “tough nut to crack”.

In appearance, he may look carefree and indifferent, while in his soul a storm develops, no less than female suffering. Friends and family also have no idea how some men experience a breakup with their beloved, but they try in every possible way to support him.

How men feel and behave after a breakup

You shouldn’t think that a man experiences separation from his beloved woman more easily than a representative of the fair sex, although it is generally accepted that guys suffer less and quickly find a new passion. It all depends on many factors:

  • character and temperament;
  • depth of feelings;
  • the time during which the couple was together, etc.

READ
How to get your girlfriend back and improve your relationship

If we talk in more detail about character, then among men we can distinguish three types. This:

  • "Predator";
  • "Boy";
  • "Mature".

The first type is distinguished by pronounced masculinity, activity and even some aggression. Girls love such guys; they always exude animal strength. If such people are capable of deep feelings, they usually carefully hide them and try to find a replacement for their ex-girlfriend as soon as possible.

When such a man leaves a woman, he feels that he is free and acquires several girlfriends at once or indulges in general revelry and entertainment. What is important for him is not the relationship itself, but the satisfaction of his own pride and ambitions. He does not take parting too painfully, unless his ego is hurt.

As for the second type, such guys have a very hard time withstanding a breakup, because at heart they are children and often perceive a woman as a mother. It is this approach that makes them completely helpless after separation. Also, this type is most prone to depression, suicide and alcohol abuse.

The best option for such a person is to quickly find a new lover who will become his “mommy.”

The “mature” type is the most balanced and self-sufficient man. His main qualities are restraint, responsibility, and hard work. Such people have a stable and healthy psyche and adequate self-esteem. But despite this, they can experience a breakup very hard. Here everything will depend on the depth of feelings and the phase to which the relationship has reached. To drown out mental pain, a mature man throws himself into work, sports or hobbies, then he manages to get out of the crisis quite quickly.

In case of a breakup on their initiative

Men tolerate breaking up relationships on their own initiative easily. In this case, the suffering will not be very strong. The only thing a guy can experience is guilt or pangs of conscience. It is for this reason that he avoids communicating with ex-wives or girlfriends. In such a situation, a person does not suffer a blow to his pride, self-esteem and self-respect do not suffer.

If the breakup concerns a not very serious relationship (for example, the guy did not plan to get married), then the separation will be practically painless for him.

READ

How to stop loving a girl: algorithm of actions and analysis of errors

If a woman put the point

If the initiator of the breakup was a girl, then everything is different. For the strong half of humanity, this situation is very traumatic due to hurt pride, because no one likes being abandoned. After a breakup, men begin to rethink the situation, look for reasons, and delve into themselves. But even if the woman who left was very dear, not everyone will find the strength to try to bring her back. If such daredevils are found and they manage to get the girl back, then the relationship reaches a new level, becoming more serious and deep.

End of relationship with wife

Often, financial difficulties, everyday life, and also the fact that spouses do not understand each other lead to the severing of family ties. Women do not express their desires openly; most often they speak in hints, and men are not always able to understand them. On the one hand, a woman can initiate a divorce because she understands that it is not possible to find a common language with her husband. On the other hand, a man, realizing that the relationship has reached a dead end, can also initiate a divorce.

End of relationship with wife

The second option is less common, because it is very difficult for husbands to leave their established lives and break the usual rhythm of life. If they decide to leave the family, then the reason most often lies in another woman. Another common reason for divorce is loss of interest in your wife. This happens when she is completely absorbed in the house, and a man has no choice but to start paying attention to other women. Later this turns into more concrete actions, and a whirlwind romance begins.

If we talk about feelings, then ex-husbands do not experience much pain after a divorce, since they are too busy with their new lover.

When it comes to a lover

You should not think that a man experiences separation from his mistress painlessly and does not experience anything. If their relationship was quite long, then he feels attached to this woman, and separation will have consequences for him. When an affair lasted for years, it is possible that such a person may become depressed or experience severe mental pain.

Some are inclined to claim that they cheat only with their bodies, they have no feelings towards their mistress. But it is not always the case. The duration of the relationship, the romantic atmosphere, the opportunity to speak out do their job - the man gets used to it. After parting, he begins to greatly miss, if not for the woman, then for the environment and feelings that he had next to her.

After breaking up with a lover, a person’s psychological state can go through several stages:

  1. Anger. This feeling is usually experienced hidden and unnoticed by others. In such a situation, a man may be angry with himself, his mistress, his wife and the whole world. This anger spills out on others, while its cause will be unclear to them.
  2. Regret and remorse. After the passions have subsided, the stage of regret begins. The man, deep down, is ashamed of his actions. He may also feel guilty not only for cheating, but also for outbursts of anger.
  3. Depression and sadness. If a person had feelings for a former lover, it is not so easy to get rid of them. For a long time after the breakup, they will make themselves felt. This can lead to depression, feelings of depression and lack of interest in life.
  4. Rethinking. During this period, there is a revision of all life priorities, relationships, and a reassessment of values. At this stage, a person remembers his mistress, but does not experience any feelings.

Influence of age factor

Late divorce is a serious test for both spouses. As for men, the age factor will definitely be negative for them. Firstly, with age, it becomes more and more difficult for a person to part with familiar things, people, relationships, etc. Secondly, it is extremely difficult for him to get used to new conditions and get used to a different environment. In addition, negative age factors include:

  • poor health;
  • difficult financial situation;
  • low social adaptability.

All this aggravates the situation and makes a person extremely vulnerable to divorce.

It is also worth saying that in adulthood, women most often initiate separation, as they simply get tired of their husband’s bad habits and rudeness.

A less common reason is older men leaving for younger women.

If in the first case the abandoned spouse will simply be broken and depressed, then in the second he will begin to feel uplifted and experience a second youth. However, such euphoria does not last long, after some time disappointment sets in, and the young companion leaves her elderly boyfriend, having siphoned a considerable amount out of him.

If the reason was treason

Sometimes it happens that the cause of separation is female infidelity.

The reason for this behavior may be:

  • low self-esteem;
  • guilt;
  • anger and resentment;
  • diffidence;
  • despair;
  • depression.

In particularly severe cases, it may take a man several years to regain his self-respect and self-confidence. Very often, cheating is perceived as betrayal, and a man carries this feeling throughout his life.

When you have strong feelings

If, after parting with his beloved, a man suffers too much, then the recovery process will be very painful and tragic.

As they say: “Of two lovers, one loves, and the other allows himself to be loved.” If the one who loves more is a man, then his suffering after the breakup is difficult to describe. In its mildest form, melancholy can develop into prolonged depression or binge drinking. On his part, repeated attempts may be made to restore the relationship, but they can be intrusive and inappropriate; sometimes the young man can behave aggressively or inappropriately. The reason for this is desperation. Often the sufferer may attempt suicide.

READ

How to tell a girl about breaking up: advice for guys

If the breakup is a mutual decision

With mutual agreement, former partners do not suffer so much. They no longer experience feelings of love, have made a firm decision to arrange a personal life with other partners, and more often than not, remain in warm friendly relations. In this case, the man is relieved that the situation has calmed down. If the ex-passion looks happy with the new boyfriend, he is not bothered by feelings of guilt and remorse, and the guy gradually tramples the road to his own happiness.

If the past relationship lasted a long time, the usual way of life will be echoed in the memory by a kind of sad but soft nostalgia, and occasionally pleasant memories will be overcome. But in general, a man will not suffer and strive for a new partner or new victories in the professional field.

It’s another matter if the memory of a lost beloved lives in your heart. In this case, men have a hard time parting with their beloved.

How do guys feel?

Women are not aware of how men who just recently whispered declarations of love, but are now so far apart, experience a breakup.

READ What to do if your girlfriend leaves you

If a guy abandoned or provoked a break with his girlfriend, the most difficult experiences settle in his soul. Men fall into depression just like women, but they skillfully hide the authenticity of feelings with appearance, words and actions.

The following emotions are intertwined in their souls:

  • Discomfort. Men love convenience and coziness. When their usual way of life is disrupted, they experience severe discomfort. No matter how much your heart, memory and pride tell you to throw out of your head the image of “that same lady” and the objects in the house: a nearby pillow, a towel - everything will remind you of the woman who recently touched these objects.
  • Fear. It is primarily born from a feeling of discomfort and emptiness. A man faces difficult experiences, feels defenseless and weak, and these new emotions unsettle him.
  • Yearning. If the couple was connected by love feelings, longing for the woman will firmly settle in his heart. He will greatly miss her image, voice, and the smell of her body. He will feel severe pain and an irresistible desire to either see his ex-lover or get her out of his head by any means.
  • Jealousy. The bitter understanding that now the former lover may belong to another man does not leave the guy even if he himself broke off the union. Men are owners by nature. They are disgusted by the very idea that someone else will appear in her life, whom she will take care of and with whom she will share a bed.

Breaking up with a girl

Unfortunately, loving couples do not always understand that they need to work on their love relationships. In addition to mutual feelings, you need to value and respect your partner.

A guy who loves and appreciates his girlfriend will break up with very extreme measures.

  • betrayal on one side or another;
  • jealousy;
  • no perspective;
  • a series of quarrels and disagreements;
  • manipulation method.

When a man ends his relationship with his girlfriend for any reason, no matter how much he hides the real essence of things, he suffers. But he will express his experiences differently than a woman. It is unusual for representatives of the stronger sex to shed tears among friends.

Feelings of melancholy and anxiety will find a way out in other manifestations:

  • Alcohol. The guy endlessly disappears in company with alcoholic beverages. He will get drunk and have fun, just so as not to indulge in sad thoughts about his ex-girlfriend.
  • Women's company. Most guys immediately start a new relationship with the “first young lady they come across,” pursuing two goals: to lose themselves in the arms of another and to rub their ex-girlfriend’s nose. He may look happy and content, but excessive display of the new girl indicates exactly the opposite: he feels bad, he worries and misses his former relationship. Promiscuous sex, flirting and sexual affairs support a guy’s self-esteem and distract him from sad feelings for a while.
  • Adrenalin. Trying to drown out mental pain, a man rushes to sports, car racing or street fights. Aggressive and unexpected antics help to cope with those painful feelings that tear his heart apart.

How guys suppress feelings of sadness after a breakup

Breaking up a relationship with a girlfriend is a long and painful process, during which a man may be overcome by doubts about the correctness of the decision.

What does a man’s emotional state depend on?

Representatives of the stronger sex seem courageous and unshakable, even to some extent insensitive. But this opinion is wrong. Guys only look like that on the outside. In fact, they are also characterized by emotions, suffering, resentment, and vulnerability.

How much a man worries after a breakup depends on several factors.

  1. From the reason for the breakup

The emotional state after a breakup largely depends on what caused the conflict. There are many provoking factors. It happens that people simply understand that they are not suitable for each other and cannot get used to each other. But often the reason is much more serious, for example, a woman’s betrayal.

In the second case, the guy’s suffering will be the most severe and painful. In addition to realizing the loss of a loved one, he also has to endure betrayal, which hits his pride, causes disgust for his beloved, rage and many other negative feelings.

If a man breaks up with his wife because of his infidelity, then it all depends on how he treats her. If the affair on the side was short-term and did not mean anything to him, then separation from his wife will cause unpleasant feelings and a strong desire to prevent the breakdown of the marriage.

  1. From the initiator

The guy’s further emotional state also depends on who exactly decided to end the relationship. It is always more difficult for a person to cope with a breakup if he has been abandoned. The mere awareness of one's uselessness leads to despair and disappointment.

Men are much less likely to forgive women who abandoned them. At the same time, they can continue to love, worry, suffer, but remain unshakable and do not allow their beloved to approach them.

If the guy himself initiated the breakup, then the development of events may be different. In the absence of feelings, separation is experienced easily and quickly. If you had to separate due to the inability to live together due to different views, characters and other reasons, then some devastation is possible.

When a mutual decision is made to end the relationship, the breakup, as a rule, does not bring negative emotions. If this is truly a conscious decision of two people, it means that the continuation of the union has become meaningless, and the couple wants to start a new life, but separately.

  1. From the duration of the relationship

When people meet and live together for a long time, they develop attachment. Breaking up in this case can be extremely difficult. But if feelings have long cooled down, the spouses live like neighbors, then they can separate easily and without unnecessary worries.

If a guy and a girl have only recently started dating, the young man’s emotions are raging, and he falls in love. The breakup of a relationship at this stage is felt very strongly, as the need for the constant presence of the beloved is felt.

In addition to these factors, the degree of a man’s experience also depends on the state of his nervous system, the presence of attachment to his beloved, his own character, and the presence of support from family and friends.

Breakup with mistress

A man in a love triangle sooner or later has to make a difficult choice between two women. Home comfort and an established relationship with his wife, especially if there are children, push him to end the affair on the side. Since a married man experiences a breakup with his mistress quite hard, it is important for him not to show his inner discomfort at home. Otherwise, he risks being left without his former passion and losing his family because of his wife’s guesses.

READ What to do if your boyfriend leaves you and you love him

In any case, such a turn of events will not pass easily for a man. He will worry, idealize her image and often indulge in painful memories. But perhaps the woman is the first to break the secret bonds, wanting to start her own family. In rare cases, they may remain friends. In general, men have a hard time dealing with a breakup with their mistress.

Breakup with wife

It is difficult for a man to separate from a woman who has been in a legal relationship with him for a long time. It is not easy to leave a family in which children are raised; special traditions and values ​​have arisen. Even if a man’s unearthly passions are burning with his mistress, he will mentally return to his home environment, to his “native” wife and beloved children. After some time, feelings of guilt and spiritual emptiness push a man to revive his old relationship. A married man experiences a breakup with his mistress in order to maintain a relationship with his wife, to whom he is attached.

After betrayal

If it was the woman who initiated the separation, the man receives a colossal blow not only to his feelings, but also to his ambition.
His self-esteem is subjected to severe castigation and self-criticism. Only God knows how a man feels after a breakup! A man who respects himself and the choice of his former lover will go through a difficult time with pride and honor.

But often there is a different behavior from a guy who tries in every possible way to get the girl back. He can call a hundred times a day, keep watch on the street. Threaten every new suitor who hangs around her. The guy will descend to spreading dirty gossip about his ex, start talking nasty things about her and weaving intrigues. This behavior is typical of a man who does not want to accept the fact that they are no longer together. Behind aggression and base actions hides a great desire to return a former lover.

Saying “no” to blues: advice for men who have recently experienced a breakup

Unfortunately, not all of us can cope with our emotions and pull ourselves together. Prolonged depression and lack of hope for the best are constant companions in the lives of some men facing a breakup. Boys are taught from childhood that showing their feelings is bad, because you need to be strong and never cry. This fact only aggravates the situation: the accumulated negativity literally poisons a man from the inside and prevents him from starting a new life after breaking up.

Some tricks available to every man will help you cope with anxiety, insomnia, irritability and your undying feelings for your irrevocably departed soulmate. To feel at ease, learn to see not only the disadvantages of the situation, but also the advantages, follow the following recommendations:

  1. Get rid of things that remind you of her. There is her comb, there is a forgotten bottle of perfume, a photograph of you together hangs on the wall, and a napkin knitted by her is collecting dust under the TV. This is roughly what a typical man’s bachelor pad looks like after breaking up with a woman. Attention, question: how can you forget the lady of your heart if everything around reminds you of her? Collect everything related to the girl into a large box and take it out to the trash for the homeless to enjoy. Is Maslenitsa ahead? Build a scarecrow from the things of your ex-passion and burn it in honor of the holiday! Don’t bother your soul with all the trinkets of the woman who made you suffer.
  2. Don't be shy to talk about your feelings with your loved ones. Those who love you will understand any emotion, even tears on unshaven male cheeks. What's the point of pretending to be a hero during the day if at night you howl with anguish? When there is a wound in the heart, the first thing you need to do is talk it out. Therefore, call an ambulance in the person of a couple of friends or an older brother to your home, sit them in front of you and open your soul. Such a psychotherapy session should happen after breaking up with a woman at least once. Believe me, it will become much easier for you.
  3. Do you feel guilty? Apologize! If you were the one who initiated the separation or brought your dearest passion to despair with your behavior that she even had to run away from you, then you probably feel guilty. This is good, because you have a conscience, and its calls should not be ignored. If you feel a strong urge to apologize, don't resist it. Call or write a message, express your thoughts about your contribution to an unpleasant situation and enjoy the result. Your karma will be cleared, and the cats will stop scratching your soul.
  4. Practice self-improvement. Breaking up is not a reason to let yourself go in every sense. After a breakup, many men stop taking care of themselves and their homes, do not develop, but stupidly eat dumplings, wash them down with beer, and click the TV remote control. Have you imagined such an intelligent handsome man? Now think, what lovely lady would fall for this gentleman? Don't forget that life goes on. And you should please not only yourself, but also the fair sex around you. Then new stormy romances will not keep you waiting.
  5. Don't do anything to spite your ex. How funny it is when recently separated men start posting photos on social networks with a forced smile on their faces in the company of a crowd of girls. Or this picture: a guy calls his ex, invites her to remain friends and immediately begins to tell the girl how great his life is without her and how many affairs he started after their breakup. Believe me, all this looks ridiculous and puts you in an unfavorable light. There is no need to brag about imaginary and real successes in your personal life. If you really have found another woman, remember that happiness loves silence.

See also:

Is it necessary to divorce your spouse?

It may sound banal, but every failed romance is a lesson from which you need to squeeze out the most useful. After time, you will understand your mistakes, at least in the wrong choice of passion, and you will be able not to repeat them in the future - not to step on the same rake.

Psychological types and characteristics of their behavior during a breakup

In general, representatives of the stronger sex have a hard time breaking up a love relationship. However, each man has an individual variation in behavior when breaking up with a woman, depending on the psychological type to which he belongs:

  1. Leader. The type of man who has high self-esteem and a number of inflated demands. In most cases, he becomes the initiator of breakups. Such a man is very proud and unforgiving, and is characterized by increased cruelty. No matter how much he suffers, a sense of pride will not allow him to admit that he is wrong or agree to a truce.
  2. Sensual. Parting with his beloved brings him great torment and anxiety. The guy has been in a depressed state for a long time, from which friends and family help him get out.
  3. Infantile. A man in this category cannot hide his suffering. He needs love and care. He will disturb ex-girlfriends, call, come home, even if he himself broke off the relationship.
  4. Serious. Such a guy will go through all stages of depression and anxiety with dignity. As a result, he will succumb to a deep analysis of whether the right decision was made. Most often, such men may attempt to get their ex-girlfriend back.

Understanding whether men regret the breakup, we can conclude that everything depends on the initial depth of feelings. The psychological type of a man will only affect his behavior.

Why does a man cry in front of a woman when breaking up?

Some girls, when they think about how a man copes with a breakup with a woman, are faced with the fact that he begins to cry. Why is this happening? And this makes you break up.

In general, men are also people and they also have emotions. Someone is too emotional. So men can cry when it’s hard for them. Moreover, it is not easy to part with him when you have feelings.

It also happens that a man’s feelings are very strong, and he himself is to blame for the fact that you break up. He can be on his knees, begging for forgiveness and crying. This means that he repents of what he did.

How does a man feel if he himself abandoned a woman?

Depression, binge drinking, sports and promiscuity are the result of how some men cope with breakups.
When the relationship breaks down and the girl finds a replacement, the ex-lover suffers and persistently tries to forget her. Similar experiences occur among those guys who leave their girlfriends. First of all, they are tormented by remorse and guilt. If a woman inexorably asks for a return to the relationship with tears in her eyes, the man, among other feelings, experiences irritation and annoyance. He may start screaming, behave rudely and tactlessly with her, and accuse the poor thing of all sins. Such aggression occurs in two cases:

  • Firstly, when he feels guilty. By blaming the woman, the man tries to shift the responsibility for the breakup onto her shoulders and calm down his remorse.
  • Secondly, this line of behavior is typical of men who have to leave the woman they love. Most often, this is what manipulators do, demanding some actions and important decisions from the girl.

What stages does a person go through when breaking up?

The breakup of a long-term romantic relationship is an unpleasant, difficult process, and in order to survive it, a person has to go through several stages of the “illness.” In fact, men have a harder time with separation than the fairer sex. They skillfully hide strong experiences under the steel “armor” of indifference.

READ Secrets of overcoming depression after a breakup

First stage: denial

Women cannot understand how a man feels when breaking up. At first he doesn't want to believe what's happening. It seems to him that separation from the girl is a bad dream that should end soon. Tormented by thoughts about her, every day he expects some changes for the better, which do not happen.

Second stage: anger

When a man realizes that a breakup is inevitable, anger replaces despair. He can’t believe that they chose another guy over him, and they didn’t fight for a relationship with him. He gets angry, realizing that it is impossible to return and change anything. He tries not to think about his ex-girlfriend and gets angry at any mention of her name.

A man's anger after a breakup

Third stage: bidding

At this stage, the man accepts the breakup and begins to analyze the situation. He tries to talk about whether he should return his ex-girlfriend or whether it’s time to look for a new girlfriend. His mood is changeable and alternately resembles the second and third stages.

Stage four: depression

When a man realizes that his former relationship cannot be returned, and that it is impossible to build a new relationship, sadness awaits him. A terrible depression that fetters his activity and fills his being with apathy. He begins to drink, grieve, and remember the best moments of his past romance. He does not want to communicate with anyone, remaining alone in the grip of sad experiences.

Fifth and final stage: new life

When the remaining stages pass with dignity, the guy gradually comes to understand that life goes on. Instead of aching melancholy, long-awaited relief comes. A man stops acutely perceiving facts that remind him of his ex-girlfriend and is ready to meet new love.

Stages of male experiences

When they leave, it hurts. But each person experiences pain differently. Therefore, it would be wrong to paint everyone with the same brush.

Much depends on the character of a person, his environment and life circumstances

Some cope with the situation relatively calmly and quickly. It torments others for years, leaving psychological trauma and scars on the heart.

For most men, common points can be identified in the form of four stages of separation:

  1. Denial - what is happening seems like a joke, a misunderstanding, or another test for lice. Your beloved is about to come to her senses and call you back.
  2. Anger. When the seriousness of the situation dawns on the man, anger begins to take hold of him. The abandoned husband wonders how such a vile betrayal could be committed. Unlike sadness, the stronger sex usually does not hold back anger. A bucket of verbal dirt is poured out at your ex. Mutual acquaintances are immediately informed about what a bitch she really is - she offended such a person! A man does nasty things deliberately because he doesn’t want to suffer alone.
  3. Nadezhda - the guy already seems to have come to terms with the situation. But the slightest reason or even a memory can return him to the stage of denial, only more meaningful. Now a man will not sit and wait until the issue is resolved on his own. He will take matters into his own hands and conduct a special operation to return his beloved.
  4. Depression - when the plan fails and hope is completely lost, the worst will begin - the realization that nothing can be returned. At this stage, men wallow in their grief and have no idea what to do next.

Then there is a branching. Psychologically stable individuals move on to the next stage - a new life. They continue to worry, grief does not disappear in one day.

Gradually, sadness is replaced by other emotions received from new acquaintances, travel and career success.

One day a person catches himself thinking that the pain has gone away

Some men find it more difficult to cope with adversity. Sometimes this takes a long time, up to several decades. The rest are even less lucky - they get stuck in depression, devoting their whole lives to suffering about their past love. In such advanced cases, two things can improve matters: the help of a psychologist and a miracle.

a man is sad about the past
Stages of a man's experience after a breakup

How different zodiac signs cope with a breakup

Every man is subject to personal emotions and feelings during a breakup. Basically, his line of behavior depends on the zodiac sign to which he belongs:

  • Aries are emotional and hot-tempered people. They have a hard time with the breakup, even if they initiated it. They descend to insults and stormy showdowns. Showcasing “new girlfriends.” In some cases, they beg women to return or forgive them on their knees.
  • Taurus take their choice of a partner very seriously and try to maintain the relationship. In the event of a breakup, they suffer greatly, they try to return and return all valuable gifts and retire in splendid isolation.
  • Geminis are flighty and frivolous guys. After the breakup, they will try to forget themselves in the arms of new girlfriends, without trying to win back their ex-girlfriend.
  • Cancers suffer for a long time, not wanting to admit the fact of separation. They will avoid new relationships, but when they meet new love, they completely forget past wounds.
  • Leos try to return the girl if she was very dear to them. If attempts are fruitless, they cross her out of their lives once and for all and withdraw into themselves for a while.
  • Virgos get very used to people, so they try to keep the relationship afloat. In the event of a breakup, they are tormented by questions about what mistakes they made. They may try to restore the relationship.
  • Libra cannot forget their former passion for a long time. If it doesn’t work out to return love, the Libra man will try to start a new relationship, because he is afraid of being left alone.
  • Scorpios are very vindictive partners. Even if a representative of this sign has abandoned a lady, he will still not leave her alone for a long time and will try to take revenge for emotional grievances.
  • Sagittarians will not sort things out, they will leave with dignity and will not renew old relationships.
  • Capricorns will experience enormous pain and hide it in every possible way. They will try to limit contacts with their ex-girlfriend, busy themselves with work and other things, just to save themselves from mental anguish.
  • Aquarians can leave the lady themselves if they realize that their feelings have cooled down, and after that seek reconciliation with her. In case of refusal, Aquarius will remain good friends with his former passion.
  • Pisces do not like partings; they prefer to leave an ellipsis instead of a period. If a girl leaves, the guy tries to accuse the lady of all mortal sins.

How to end a relationship with a married man - tips

1.

First of all, you should be determined to end the relationship yourself. Think about how much time you've already lost and how much time you still have to lose if you continue to sneak together. But you lose not only time, but also the strength of your soul, wasting it completely in vain. In addition, even if you manage to take a man away from his wife, aren’t you convinced that he is used to deceiving, and, therefore, the same story will almost certainly repeat itself with you. Is this what you want? A man cannot be changed; he always remains as he is.

2.

Once you allow yourself to realize that you are the subject of manipulation in his hands, and in fact he is more than happy with this situation, you must act decisively and without the slightest delay. You need to break off a relationship with a married man in such a way that there is not the slightest chance that it can resume. From now on, this man is an enemy for you, with whom you no longer want not only to see, but even to talk on the phone.

3.

Let him know about your decision and ask him not to bother you anymore. Stop answering his calls. Do not call yourself and try not to meet even by chance. If necessary, change your phone number and try to leave the city somewhere, at least temporarily, on vacation.

4.

When a man realizes that you are determined, he will resort to all sorts of tricks in order to dissuade you from this step. Yes, he agrees, you really need to break up, but let's give ourselves a romantic goodbye. Let this night be your farewell. Don’t fall for this bait, it will almost certainly start all over again on your farewell night.

5.

Ruthlessly get rid of everything that may remind you of him - his gifts, photographs, personal belongings. All this must be thrown away, just do not return it in person. Remember - you should not see each other again under any pretext.

6.

Remember that such love is somewhat akin to a drug. Therefore, you need to occupy all your free time so that there is no opportunity to indulge in sad thoughts. It’s very good if you go on vacation, especially to places you’ve never been before - new experiences will help you look at your life with different eyes. You will understand that it was not in vain that you decided to break off your relationship with a married man. If there is no way to leave, just completely load up your life - with work, sports clubs, new acquaintances, whatever. Just don't be alone.

7.

Suffering is unproductive, it destroys your soul and prevents you from creating your own destiny. Think about how much time this person has already stolen from you without actually giving you anything in return. Is this fair? Get yourself in order and don’t sit locked up, look for your own happiness.

8.

Start dating other men. You missed out on so much while you were with him.

Tips on how to get through a difficult period

Guys have a hard time breaking up with a girl. Apathy and melancholy painfully squeeze the heart of an abandoned lover, and in order to quickly get out of a difficult state, it is necessary to take some actions:

  1. Grieve to your heart's content. Have a heart-to-heart talk with someone, cry, write down your experiences in a notebook.
  2. Take care of yourself. Analyze your behavior in past relationships in order to avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
  3. Don't isolate yourself. Communicate with people, do what you love. Attend interesting events.
  4. It is useful to sign up for a swimming pool, gym, dance or sports club. Sports activities perfectly relieve stress and improve your mood.
  5. Make new acquaintances, flirt, “go out.”

Breaking up is a difficult period, which is difficult, but possible to survive. If you can’t restore your past relationship, you should discard difficult thoughts and look to the future with confidence. Meeting new love is closer than it might seem.

Rating
( 2 ratings, average 4.5 out of 5 )
Did you like the article? Share with friends: