How to date with social anxiety: 5 tips


Plan a simple date

first date
Yes, an interesting date is fun. But it is not at all necessary to come up with any intricate and complex entertainment for the first meeting, because this will only increase your nervousness. It will be much easier for you to cope with your anxiety if your date is simple. Coffee or dinner is a classic and therefore ideal scenario for a first date that will definitely not let you down.

A date is like an interview.

Thanks to comparing a date with an interview, I stopped seeing in every man the one destined for fate. Feelings and emotions seemed to be turned off, and a cold mind looked and analyzed. And I became calmer and more positive. And all because I not only am not afraid of interviews, but I also sincerely enjoy them.

Find something that you are not afraid of. For example, speaking in public, selling, communicating with children, balancing the balance, in the end. Let dating be an extension of these activities for you. In fact, the first meeting with a man is also a presentation of yourself and your product, communication with your child and a balance sheet of your general emotional debits and credits.

Conclusion: turn the search for love into an activity that you enjoy and the fear will go away.

Calm down

first date
If you're already nervous about going on a date, don't wear an uncomfortable outfit or go somewhere unusual together. This will only complicate the situation. If you know that you will be nervous before and during the date, you should take care of your comfort from the very beginning. Go to a familiar place, choose clothes that make you feel comfortable, and leave the house on time to avoid being late. If you take control of what you can, it will be much easier to deal with nervousness.

How to overcome anxiety before a date with a guy

Walking with your hobby can be quite stressful. Therefore, it is worth learning about a few tips on how to overcome this tension. You don’t want to ruin a wonderful evening with your worries; on the contrary, you want to enjoy your date as much as possible and look forward to the next one. If you are overwhelmed by anxiety a few hours before this event, keep a few tips on how to overcome this stress.

He wants to be you

One of the most useful tips for overcoming stress before a date is to understand that he has ALREADY agreed to meet with you or even suggested it himself! If he wants to spend his free time with you, he likes you. He wouldn't be dating you if he didn't want to. So stop worrying. He wants to be close to you just as much as you want him.

Plan ahead

If you are worried about prolonged silence, come up with several topics for conversation in advance. Make a mental list of your best stories and the things you love to talk about the most. If you treat each other sincerely, the conversation will be easy and relaxed. However, if you want to reduce stress, it's good to have a backup plan. This will give you peace of mind and prevent you from worrying about running out of conversation topics.

Enjoy the moment

Live one moment at a time. If you worry about what will happen in the future, it is difficult to enjoy the present. When he holds your hand, you don't have to worry about whether he'll kiss you later. Just enjoy this moment. Start worrying about the kiss when it gets close to your lips. And if you read the article - 10 Useful Tips for a Good Kiss, then there is nothing to worry about at all.

Everyone makes mistakes

Are you worried about spilling your drink or sauce on your kofta? Ridiculous accidents happen even before a date. When you are with a cultured person, he will easily reduce everything to a joke. If he condemns you for something, then you don’t want to be with him at all. You need to find someone who will love you even after such embarrassing moments.

Sink or swim

You need enough time before the date to properly prepare. When you are in a hurry looking for what to wear, it brings you even more stress. Appearance is not the most important thing, but it will help you feel comfortable. Wear an outfit that makes you feel attractive. It's amazing how much a stunning outfit can boost your confidence.

Listen to the music

Music can calm anyone. Before your date, play your favorite song. Dance, sing and just have a good time. Listen only to fun and energetic music that will keep you excited throughout the date. Stay away from depressing lyrical melodies, they will only make the situation worse.

Relaxation methods

Before a date, you temptingly think through all the possible events of your night. Will he kiss you? Will there be a second date? If thinking about it annoys you, try turning your attention to something else. While it's not time to leave the house yet, open a book and immerse yourself in the story with all your thoughts. Shift your attention to things that will relieve your anxiety.

Dating is a source of pleasure, so don't let your anxiety take over you. Do you have an important date very soon and are you nervous about it?

Set realistic expectations

first date
Your first date may be the most romantic one in history, and you will tell your children and grandchildren about it. But it can also turn out to be a failure and become the worst of your life. It is worth remembering this, but not in order to become even more nervous, but in order to prepare yourself for any result. Knowing that your first date doesn't have to be perfect can be strangely reassuring.

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Trust your intuition

There are a large number of articles on how to act on a first date to make the best impression. And they all boil down to advice that explains how to dress correctly, what to say and how to behave. But it is not always worth following these recommendations. Sometimes it is better to listen to yourself and your intuition, which are part of the field studied by psychology. On a first date, you should pay attention to your interlocutor, and not think about your clothes or whether you struck a beautiful pose. Genuine interest in your partner will help you make the right impression at a meeting, and will also help you figure out how much you have in common and whether it’s worth making a second date. Suddenly this person is not suitable for you at all. Then all the far-fetched reasons for worries and doubts will seem doubly absurd.

Talk to yourself and say a few compliments

first date
To calm down, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself: “I look great! It's just a first date. This happens every day. No need to be nervous, I'm dating an ordinary person. If he manages to please him, great! If not, no big deal. Everything is already great, because I’m still going on this date. The main thing is to relax and be yourself.”

Methods for solving speech problems

Based on the above reasons for the development of speech disorders, the following emerges: in order to stop stuttering when excited, you need to eliminate the root cause - the excitement itself. It is impossible to get rid of it in life, but yes, it is possible to train a competent reaction to the occurrence of this emotional state.

Stuttering when excited is a disease that has functional, personal and social aspects. For effective treatment, it is necessary to resort to comprehensive measures that include therapeutic, pedagogical and rehabilitation techniques.

Practiced methods of treatment:

  • sedative medications;
  • relaxing massage;
  • breathing and speech exercises;
  • psychological training on restructuring thinking.

To stop stuttering when nervous, you need to fulfill three basic conditions:

  • learn to control breathing;
  • minimize the effect of muscle contractions on speech;
  • to form a normal psychological attitude towards anxiety, communication, and stuttering.

How to control your breathing

A comprehensive speech therapy program for the treatment of stuttering includes 4 blocks.

  1. Relaxation of the tongue and lips.
  2. Control of facial muscle contractions.
  3. Normalization of breathing through the diaphragm (stomach).
  4. “Stretched” pronunciation of vowels.

Soft start method:

  • a small diaphragmatic breath;
  • pronunciation of certain sounds on a short exhalation.

Breathing exercises are one of the best remedies for speech disorders. If you're nervous or have a difficult conversation ahead of you, find a quiet place and do a simple exercise.

  1. Starting position - standing, straightened with your arms down.
  2. Bend forward, lowering your head and arms.
  3. Inhale quickly in a bent position.
  4. Incomplete raising of the body and head, inhalation and exhalation.
  5. New bend and breath.
  6. The exercise is done eight times, eight approaches each.

How to behave during a conversation

Recommendations for eliminating stuttering when nervous will help you calm down.

  1. When talking, keep your arms, neck, shoulder girdle and back relaxed.
  2. Don't mentally focus on stuttering. For others it is not a serious problem.
  3. Speech during a conversation should be slow, with an emphasis on pauses and punctuation marks. Words must be pronounced in a low voice, in a monotonous tone.
  4. Don't rush when talking. Rapid speech causes shortness of breath.
  5. Breathing and speech are developed by singing, tongue twisters, and reading books out loud.
  6. Conscious participation in public speaking.
  7. Talk to yourself in front of the mirror in a slow and quiet voice for thirty minutes every day. It is important to get used to talking and contemplating the “interlocutor” at the same time. As you talk, remember this practice and calm down.
  8. Positive thinking when speaking.
  9. Writing down on a piece of paper specific words on which stuttering occurs. Training their pronunciation slowly and syllable by syllable.

Be yourself

first date
If you go on a date with this person, it means he is already interested in you. And he wants to meet again to get to know the person who caught his attention better. If you're feeling really nervous, remember that the hardest part is over. So just enjoy the evening and see where it takes you. This is a recipe for success.

Important meeting: how to stop worrying?

Many people have experienced the phenomenon of anxiety before an important meeting. It happens to almost everyone, and this phenomenon is normal, because emotions and experiences are precisely what makes us human. Therefore, you should not think that nervousness before a meeting is something unnatural; this is far from the case. But we can fight this phenomenon.


Let's figure out where the excitement before the meeting comes from? Excitement before an important event or meeting occurs due to the fact that we tend to replay the most negative scenarios in our heads. We think, “what if something goes wrong?”, “what if it doesn’t work out...”, etc. But if we give up these negative thoughts and tune in to a positive mood, then there will be no trace of anxiety left. Check it out, it's been verified.

How does the process of excitement itself go? Usually, when a person is worried about something, two factors come into play:

  1. Negative emotions turn on.
    Since anxiety itself is a state, it can include a number of negative emotions that further fuel increasing anxiety.
  2. Anxiety can cause tension.
    Often, when a person is worried, he begins to behave unnaturally, say something out of place, or cannot say anything at all. Even the movements of a worried person are somehow “not the same.” This is due to the stress that comes with anxiety. We already know how to deal with emotions, but what to do with the clamps that literally fetter us? In this case, there are a couple of simple exercises:
  • We work directly with the body. Tighten all your muscles tightly and then relax. Try to relax each muscle separately. Take a deep breath. This exercise is good for muscle tension and so-called tightness.
  • We reduce the significance of the ongoing conversation. This exercise will help get rid of both tensions and negative emotions. To do this, just think about the worst possible scenario for developing your conversation. For example, maybe they won’t give you this job? No problem, you'll find another one! Or will you not be given a vacation? It's okay, you'll go on vacation a little later! Will you be fired? Trifle! A great excuse to find a more interesting project! In general, you shouldn’t worry, and you need to look for only the positives in everything. And then there will be no trace of excitement left.

Here are a couple of ways to deal with anxiety before a meeting. But what if the excitement came unexpectedly when you saw a person, or he asked you some question? The main thing here is to communicate correctly.

— Before you start a dialogue, do not forget why you came. Stay focused on the purpose of your visit and don’t wander away from the conversation.

- It is very important to calm down and behave naturally and, as already said, do not think about bad things.

— Try to conduct a dialogue, and not a monologue, where only you (or your interlocutor) speak, and your opponent listens. This is very wrong.

— Treat any conversation responsibly.

- Be simpler, and the conversation will go as it should.

Here are a couple of simple tips on how to stop worrying before an important meeting. Use them, and believe me, there will be no trace of excitement left. Good luck!

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