Intimacy at the desk: what is known about the relationship between a teacher and a ninth-grader in Astrakhan

Schoolgirl crush

What to do if you fall in love with a teacher? Similar stories sometimes happen in educational institutions. Sparks of love can run between a mentor and a student, fueled by emotional dialogue or circumstances. After all, the schoolgirl is now at an age when emotions take precedence over reason. Children's dreams still dominate, preventing us from realizing the reality of the events taking place. The feeling of falling in love overshadows everything around, only the face and words of your loved one stand before your eyes.

Sometimes this state awakens even careless students to action, forcing them to draw attention to themselves with a change in behavior or appearance. A new hairstyle, languid glances, increased observation instead of the educational process and a sober approach. Excellent students also fall in love, allowing themselves to abandon their studies and skip classes, plague themselves with suspicions and suffer without reciprocal feelings. This is all unreasonable.

If the object of adoration is connected by family ties, then any retaliatory actions can compromise and ruin the relationship with his wife and children. This imposes a certain responsibility on both parties. Even a large age difference cannot prevent the awakening of strong feelings.

Love for a university teacher

From a psychological point of view, I already spoke about why such a feeling arises at the beginning.
Now a little about everyday life. In fact, not everything is measured by strict rules, and falling in love during your student years is something that goes without saying. This is generally something that cannot be measured. As one English poet wrote, if you can understand why you love a person, your love will go away. Love for a teacher, especially a young and attractive one, can arise in any university group. But how can all this end? It all depends on the persistence of the young lady and the depth of her feelings. After all, almost every man finds it difficult to resist when a young girl confesses her feelings to him.

There are even those who specifically go to teach so that they can constantly be in such pleasant company. This is a kind of pickup of students from improved positions. But how serious can such a relationship be?

To be honest, most female students can be divided into three categories:

• "Blue Stockings";
• "Party Girls";
• "Athletes."

And they will all express their warm feeling for the teacher in different ways.
This first category of girls, as a rule, are modest and diligent, well-mannered students. Therefore, one can hardly expect open and quick recognition from them. In general, shyness and a sense of tact are considered their main character traits. They strive much more for knowledge, trying mainly through it to overcome their inferiority complex. But they are ashamed of feelings for the teacher and try to avoid them. But if she does fall in love, then she rarely dares to admit her feelings. Her shyness will only increase, she begins to blush deeply when talking with her loved one, and may skip classes altogether or sit at the last desk. Such behavior is almost always noticed by her classmates, and therefore it becomes the subject of their jokes and gags. An intelligent teacher will notice this, but he is unlikely to want to reciprocate her feelings. After all, if he is young, a “blue stocking” is not always his ideal girl. What did he do to surprise her? As a rule, a certain collective image is formed in her head - an intelligent, kind, educated and adult man. She falls in love with her ideal.

But a girl who is an “athlete” is more likely to fall in love with a physical education teacher than with an English teacher. She can admire both his athletic figure and determination in a healthy lifestyle, as well as his past, rich in sports trophies. And training really brings us closer together. Athletes and athletes in general often combine their personal lives and sports careers. And that is why marriages between them are so frequent.

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How does she show her feelings? The athlete most often believes that the initiative must still come from her ideal, otherwise this image will be destroyed. She, of course, will give him hints about how to behave differently. But her desire for sports victories will only increase - because of the desire to please him, and thus become closer.

But the most extravagant and unpredictable are the “party girls”.

Their behavior can generally shock the teacher. But she will only fall in love with a strong man, with well-developed masculine character traits, or impressive external characteristics. But the mental abilities of the object of adoration will be the last thing that worries the girl. And the man must also be successful, with an apartment, a car (family does not count), and the average age of candidates for her heart is approximately 35-45 years.

How does her love manifest itself? Very expressive. After all, these are not only passionate glances in class, but also loud comments, constant attention to the teacher that is not related to the topic of the lesson, frequent laughter and jokes about the teacher’s personal life. Therefore, soon the “special” relationship will be known not only to the entire group, but also to the entire department. This kind of girl generally loves to put the teacher in an awkward position, and may even lie in wait near the house.

What are the prospects for this relationship? If she achieves her goal, she will miraculously calm down, and for the time being, few people will know about the relationship, as long as everything suits her. But if there are competitors (for example, a wife), then this will not end well. Although why shouldn’t the teacher go to someone younger and more beautiful?.. Everything is individual, as they say.

Conclusion

The love of a teacher and a student at an institute is no longer nonsense.
Feelings can arise on both sides, and this is quite normal. It is only important to treat this correctly.

The teacher must remember that he came to teach girls at the institute, and not to collect “trophies,” otherwise he will soon be asked to do so. And the student must understand what she really wants - an affair with a man older than her, and even with a teacher, is unlikely to last long. If you want to learn even more secrets on seducing girls, subscribe to my VKontakte page.

How to behave in such situations?

Before we tell you what to do if you fall in love with a teacher, we will describe what you should not do:

• Openly demonstrate your interest in the relationship so as not to get into an awkward situation yourself and not to put the teacher in such circumstances.
• Share these feelings with your friends to avoid causing rumors and gossip.
• Behave inappropriately or act like an offended student, making the learning process more difficult.
• If no dialogue can take place, then do not strive for it.
• Write notes, letters, messages about great love for life.
• Threaten with attempts to commit suicide.
• Set conditions that limit the choice of another.
• Constantly look for a response with your eyes.
• Look for all sorts of reasons to communicate alone.
• Provoke accidental physical contact.

Mistakes that are important to avoid

It is important to avoid mistakes that will make studying unbearable. Should be avoided:

• physical contact with the teacher;
• communication in private;
• confessions;
• fantasies about a relationship with him;
• attempts to meet eyes;
• flirting with the teacher;
• attempts to seduce the teacher;
• spreading rumors;
• provoking behavior (no need to create awkward situations to attract the attention of the object of adoration).

All this will lead to unpleasant conversations. When a student in love loses self-control, the teacher begins to have career and family problems.

Student's love and reciprocal feelings

What to do if a student falls in love with a physical education teacher and receives attention in return? A strong, physically healthy man is the object of desire not only for young girls, but also for adult women. The hope for support and protection is inherent at the genetic level. The desire to get a worthy man as a father for your unborn child is a natural instinct, and it is quite difficult to fight it. But it’s still worth remembering that you are a student, and he is your teacher. This means that there can be no relationship.

Reasons for a student to fall in love

Many men talk about how their first love was their school teacher.

1. Experts say that teenagers can fall in love with teachers due to a lack of love in the family circle. Thus, the young man is looking for a replacement outside the home. It is not surprising that his choice is the teacher he sees every day, who takes care of him. The boy begins to think that he is in love, but this is not so.
2. Hormonal changes. As boys grow up, their bodies begin to produce increased hormones. And this leads to both psychological and physiological changes. The problem is that boys the same age have not yet reached puberty, they do not look attractive in the eyes of a young man. And when a teenager sees a teacher, an adult woman, with attractive curves, he cannot resist. In fact, this is not love, but sexual attraction.
3. Wisdom of a teacher. The boy can admire the teacher's intelligence. He is interested in listening to what she says. He would do it again and again. The guy tries not to miss a single word of hers; her subject becomes his favorite.
4. The teacher commands respect. The feeling of sympathy arises due to the fact that the teenager likes the teacher, but not as a woman, but as a person. But the guy does not realize this, and mistakes the feelings he feels for love.
5. Girl's humor. If a teacher often smiles and laughs, she is a manifestation of positive emotions. The boy thinks he is in love.

Love of convenience

What should you do if you fell in love with a physics teacher only for the reason of getting help in solving problems and mastering educational material? Sober prudence will not hurt here. It is necessary to determine which qualities attract attention to this person. The manner of speaking or clearly explaining incomprehensible formulas, assembling electrical circuits, conducting experiments, or encouraging the study of the world around us from the point of view of physics. What can these qualities give in family life and raising children, how long will this interest last, and will the passion go away with the end of the course of study.

Lena, 19 years old. Meeting with his vocal teacher

I am in a relationship that even to me seems strange and unusual. My significant other is a married woman who is 11 years older than me. And yes, she is a vocal teacher. I understand that this is a completely hopeless relationship, but somehow it turned out that way, as if by itself.

We met when my parents sent me to music school. I was seven years old. Throughout the entire training, I almost didn’t talk to her about abstract topics. Before graduation, the whole group went to a competition in Moscow. This was our last common endeavor in this composition: after it, I had to leave the music school, concentrate on the Unified State Exam and enter a university. I returned from this trip a different person: my status changed to “in love.”

I've had crushes on girls before. I've always liked them for as long as I can remember. This was noticeable even in childhood. For example, now my younger sister is clearly showing interest in boys, but I have never had this. When I was 14 years old, I liked one girl, and I told her about it, but things didn’t go beyond simple communication.

I have always been a fairly brave and assertive person, I’m used to getting what I really, really need. This is what happened with my teacher. When I realized that I had feelings, I wanted to see her reaction. Even if I failed, it was still the last serious competition under her leadership. And I took a risk: I began to communicate with her more outside of rehearsals, to get to know her better. And at some point she just took it and kissed it. She was surprised, but did not move away.

Now I don’t understand at all how I even decided to do this and where I got so much audacity from.

Two days after our unexpected kiss, she texted me. I invited her to meet somewhere and take a walk. We discussed what happened between us and decided not to end the connection that had arisen. True, they agreed not to tell anyone about their strange crush on each other. I continued to perceive her as my mentor and address her as “you”: over the years of study, I developed great respect for her.

Before me, she had never had anything with girls at all. And I turned into a kind of trigger for new sensations. After I graduated from school and left the music school, we continued to communicate, and our secret meetings only became more numerous. Despite the fact that by that time I had turned 18, I was in no hurry to tell my parents about my love. They still don't know. I'm sure they won't understand.

Now I am preparing to change universities, I want to continue her work. I realized that music is what I want to devote my life to. I don't know what the future holds for me. I understand that I am in a hopeless relationship. But at the same time, I realize that she really loves me very much. Probably no one will be able to love me again. But we both have no idea what to do with this next.

What to do if a teacher falls in love with a student?

The situation is also not simple. Falling in love with a young girl is not at all difficult. Sympathy easily develops into a more complex feeling. Young beauty is charming and naive; even an adult man has plenty of reasons to panic. If the object of sympathy is a minor, then there are restrictions in the development of relationships, leading to criminal liability. It is this circumstance that must be considered first. Determining priorities in the form of loss of respect from colleagues or condemnation from future relatives, a change of place of work or residence is the second reason to weigh all the possible consequences of such love.

If the feelings are so deep and the intentions are serious, you will have to wait more than one year just to find out whether they are mutual or not. No one is ready to be rejected, especially when it comes to emotional experiences. Is such a relationship of different ages necessary, and what kind of continuation can follow? A young girl can be frightened by the feelings of an adult man, unless this is a young graduate of the institute, but the chosen one is at least half the age of the gentleman. Falling in love should not interfere with work; this interference will be instantly noticed by teenagers.

Ten years have passed.

During this time, Max graduated from college, his wife’s parents got him a good job. You have everything, family, work, housing, live and enjoy. There was just one thing missing.

Mutual understanding between him and his wife. A child was born. Max began to distract himself from the internal family misunderstanding by taking care of the child.

But the day came, Max was already 39 years old, their child was already 18, he decided to get a divorce. The wife easily agreed, since she also understood that she and Max never had love, there was calculation and the desire of their parents.

Max went to his hometown to visit his elderly parents and relatives.

It so happened that while driving a taxi from the airport, he passed by the school where he studied. The taxi stopped at the pedestrian crossing in front of the school.

At that time, a beautiful woman of about forty was walking along it, and looking closely, an image of the one he once loved appeared in Max’s head, and throughout his family life he remembered her.

But he didn’t dare call her or come. Although from time to time I visited my hometown.

Teacher's feelings

What to do if a teacher falls in love with a student? Whether these are maternal feelings or the desire to be dominant in family relationships will have to be sorted out without delay. If an adult woman has sexual desires for her student, then the reasons are hidden in long-standing psychological trauma. The desire to care for someone who is younger and weaker can be fulfilled by having children of one's own. The usual standard of society assumes the seniority of the man in a family union. The image of a breadwinner and protector may not correspond to the prevailing picture.

How to react if the teacher reciprocates

It is important to consider that such a relationship will harm the object of love itself. The man will face dismissal, scandal or legal liability. If a teacher flirts or hints at an intimate relationship, then it is better to tell your family about his behavior.

It is important to understand why mature people fall in love with children. The reason may be dissatisfaction with the relationship with your significant other, psychological disorders or boredom. The teacher behaves immorally and irresponsibly, but he should build a distance and respect the child’s feelings, direct them in the right direction (instill love for his subject).

What to do if a student falls in love with a teacher?

It is worth understanding the reason for the feelings. Perhaps there is a lack of maternal love and attention, which causes a feeling of falling in love with the teacher. Perhaps this is the desire to have an older sister with similar traits and behavior, or a friend who knows more than you, can advise, listen or help solve life’s problems.

If a teacher dresses fashionably, is slim and modern, has beautiful makeup and an expensive manicure, then she automatically becomes the object of attention not only for boys, but also for girls. Falling in love with a teacher and sighing for her is akin to falling in love with a popular film actor or musician, whose life is followed by the eyes of fans and admirers.

Don't panic

Teenagers are often fascinated by older and significant people. And if this person is of the opposite sex, charm can easily be mistaken for the feeling of falling in love. Your daughter is just developing her tastes in men, she is trying to figure out who they are - these mysterious representatives of the stronger sex, and a mature person is always more interesting to watch than someone of the same age.

Undoubtedly, the teacher in the classroom, especially if he is charming, charismatic and passionate about the subject, attracts attention, he has power, authority, he is much older and more experienced. Plus, perhaps the girl endows him with fictitious qualities and idealizes his image.

It is important to understand that teenage love is selfish, because a teenager is so focused on his own feelings, immersed so deeply in his inner world that he absolutely does not take into account the feelings of others. He loves not a person, but his fantasies about him. A real drama plays out in the soul of a teenager, while the role of the object of love in this case is reduced to a minimum: he simply sometimes appears before his eyes, causing a new storm of emotions.

Schoolboy's feelings

What to do if a student falls in love with a teacher? First of all, he needs to understand the reasons for the sympathy that has arisen. It is necessary to find out what qualities attract the attention of a young lover, how further relationships are imagined in the wildest fantasies. The desire to gain sexual experience with an older woman or lack of attention from peers drives the young man’s train of thought.

Is this idealization of the female form as a creative expression of talent for poetry or art? Glorifying the diva or mercantile interest in getting good marks in the teacher's journal. If the age difference is significant, then you should think about why such a young suitor would be interesting to the chosen one. What options are there for developing a serious relationship, and are they even possible?

What to do if a guy falls in love with a teacher? What can a young man see in his teacher other than the embodiment of femininity and attractiveness? Perhaps attention is drawn to the treatment of teenagers and participation in youth problems, the form of communication, the discussion of many situations on an equal basis with students. This style of behavior makes the teacher younger in the eyes of the students, erasing the age line.

Studying influences the further choice of profession, finding happiness, making many desires come true and achieving your goals. Much depends on the teacher in the development of the unformed personality of a teenager. A very careful approach to every situation of sympathy and love that arises will help you find the right way out.

How not to act

You shouldn't tell your friends about your love experiences.

Along with advice on how to behave with the object of your love, there are a number of recommendations on what you should absolutely not do.

1. Discuss your feelings with a wide range of people. Naturally, you won’t be able to keep everything to yourself and sooner or later you will want to tell your friend about your experiences. Of course, it would be ideal not to do this, so as not to provoke rumors. But if you really can’t stand it, limit the circle of initiates to a minimum.
2. Make fun of or openly mock the teacher if he does not reciprocate. Here, even without comment, such behavior is unworthy of an educated person.
3. Let your studies take their course. Education is what your future, your standard of living and prosperity will be based on. So don't let anything affect your learning process.
4. Pursue the object of your affection. Each person has a personal zone, which even the closest people have no right to violate. Therefore, you should not appear from every corner on the teacher’s path or write confessions on social networks.

Benefits of a relationship with a teacher

• A relationship with a teacher is a good life lesson and experience that will be useful in life, and especially when building relationships with men, regardless of how they end.
• A teacher can become not only your other half, but also a good friend whom you can turn to for help and advice.
• With the help of such relationships, you can increase your self-esteem and feel more confident and, of course, special. But you need to remember that you need to assert yourself for yourself, and not for your girlfriends and friends.
• The teacher may turn out to be a very interesting person with whom it will be fun to communicate and spend your free time.
• A girl fell in love with a college teacher - this relationship can help with her studies.