Advice from a psychologist How do you know when it’s time to end a relationship?

What is a relationship?

Relationships are understood as the subjective connection of a person with external objects (this can be not only people, but also animals, for example), which leads to emotional reactions, assessments and other interactions.

Vladimir Nikolaevich Myasishchev, a Soviet psychiatrist and medical psychologist, gave a similar definition to this concept. In its meaning, he included a system of electoral connections of a particular individual, which he divided into three subgroups :

• relationships with others;
• attitude towards oneself;
• attitude towards objects of the external environment.

Since the issue of relationships between people is of greatest interest to us, it is worth specifying the term used for this. It would be more correct, in this case, to say "interpersonal relationships".
Important! This term denotes not only the relationship of one person to another, but also the overall picture of the relationship between people, which consists of a certain set of rules (sometimes unspoken), the reactions that members of the same group expect from each other, and the results that close interactions lead to.

Why and why do people need them?

The main goal of any relationship is communication, and it is the basis for the psychological and social development of any individual . We begin to interact with other people from birth.

The first person with whom we establish a strong relationship is our mother. It helps the child live and develop, accept himself and know the love of another.

Later, the mother becomes the main guide to the outside world and helps the individual to socialize. When a person becomes adult and completely independent, he chooses what kind of relationship he needs.

Unfortunately, sometimes people find themselves in unpleasant relationships that they did not choose . V. M. Myasishchev also wrote about this: “An important feature of our society is forcing a person to enter into long-term interaction with other people, even despite a negative attitude towards them.”

For your information! To better understand the role that interpersonal relationships play in a person’s life, we need to understand the consequences of their absence.

If an individual lacks communication with other people, he experiences a feeling that psychologists call emotional hunger , and is divided into 4 types :

• Hunger for stimulation;
• Hunger for recognition;
• Hunger in the absence of quality communication;
• Hunger for recognition.

Now let's look in more detail at how all these types of psychological problems are related to interpersonal relationships.

Hunger for stimulation

This term was introduced by Eric Burn, an American psychologist and founder of transactional analysis. This type of hunger for communication occurs when there is a complete lack of interaction with other people .

If a person voluntarily or forcedly stops seeing and talking with others, after just a few days this leads to negative changes in his psyche. From this we can conclude that relationships with other people are the basis for the mental health of any person .

Hunger for recognition

This type of relationship deficit occurs when a person finds himself in an unfamiliar environment .

By the way! This often happens when starting a new job or moving to another city or country.

It seems like there are people around, but you can’t strike up a relationship with any of them yet, so you feel very lonely, even when you’re among a large crowd of people.

Hunger in the absence of quality communication

In this situation, a person can have a large number of different relationships: friendly, family and even romantic. At the same time, the quality of communication does not meet its internal requirements, which leads to dissatisfaction .

Hunger for recognition

Our professional activities are also an occasion for interpersonal relationships. We want others to recognize us as a master of our craft.

When this does not happen and a person cannot discuss his achievements and failures with someone, this also leads to dissatisfaction and irritability.

Now we can conclude that a person needs relationships to maintain mental health and feel like a full-fledged person .
At the same time, it is very important that interpersonal relationships are of high quality and bring a lot of positive emotions. Otherwise, it will not bring proper satisfaction in life.

Meaning of the word "attitude"

Kinds

All types of interpersonal relationships can be divided into three main types :

• By status . Here you can distinguish vertical and horizontal directions. The first type includes communication between a boss and a subordinate, a child and an adult, a teacher and a student, etc. The second type includes the interaction of colleagues, friends, spouses and everyone who is in equal conditions in relation to each other;
• By goals . There are only two varieties: business and personal;
• By emotional coloring . They depend on people’s perceptions of each other, and are divided into negative, positive and neutral.

Also, all interpersonal relationships can be divided into 5 levels of intimacy :

• Initial acquaintance . The first few meetings with a person. At this moment there are no relationships between people yet;
• Friendship . People got to know each other a little. At this stage, there is a prospect of developing closer relationships if the communication was positive;
• Partnership . People have mutual interests and common topics of conversation. At this stage, communication becomes closer;
• Friendship . One of the closest types of interpersonal relationships. People already know each other well, have many common interests and communicate frequently;
• Family relationships . The closest view. Possible between relatives, spouses, parents and children.

Definition of the word “Attitude” according to TSB:

Attitude is a philosophical category that expresses the nature of the arrangement of elements of a certain system and their interdependence. an emotional-volitional attitude of a person toward something, i.e., an expression of his position. mental comparison of different objects or aspects of a given object. Dialectical materialism proceeds from the fact that philosophy is objective and universal. In the world there are only things, their properties and properties, which are in endless connections and properties with other things and properties. V.I. Lenin calls Hegel’s idea that every concrete thing is in various relationships to everything else correct (see Complete collection of works, 5th ed., vol. 29, p. 124). O. form systems of varying degrees of complexity from corresponding elements, while the same O. can be in different things (internal O.) or between different things (external O.). An example is any law as an essential O. between things and phenomena. And, conversely, one and the same thing can enter into infinitely varied relationships with other things, which characterizes the multiplicity of properties of a particular thing. Any thing can be considered as a ratio of its constituent elements, with a change in which the thing itself changes. For example, the different arrangement of the same elements in the words “cat” and “current” makes these words different. At the same time, any O. characterizes precisely those things between which it exists. For example, O. “less” or “more” characterizes quantities. O. “to the south” is the location of something in relation to something else. O. “father” - the nature of the relationship, etc. Consequently, O. can act as a property, a sign of things. A thing taken in different O. reveals different and even opposite properties. The relationships between objects and phenomena are infinitely diverse (spatial, temporal, cause-and-effect, relationships between parts and the whole, form and content, external and internal, etc.). A special type of organization is constituted by social relations. Scientific thinking reveals the essence of things, the pattern of their origin and development through identifying their relationships with other things. Characterizing the elements of dialectics, V.I. Lenin pointed to the need to study O.: “The entire set of multivariate relations of this thing to others,” “the relationships of each thing ... are not only multivariate, but universal, universal. Each thing (phenomenon, process...) is connected with each. an endless process of revealing new sides, relationships..." (ibid., pp. 202-03). In connection with the increasing role of system-structural research methods, the category of research is becoming increasingly important in modern science. A. G. Spirkin. O. in logic. In the meaningful formulations of natural languages, object is usually expressed by predicates of sentences that have more than one subject (or one subject with additions). depending on the number of these subjects (and complements), they are called members, subjects or elements of a given O.. two-place (binary, two-term) O. are distinguished (“a is less than b”, “Oka is shorter than the Volga”, “the rails are parallel to each other” and etc.), three-place (ternary, three-term. “point A lies between B and C”, “5 is the sum of 2 and 3”), four-place (“the numbers x1, y1, and y2 are proportional”), generally n-place (n-ary, n-term) O. These meaningful representations are implemented in the exact terms of set theory (algebra) and mathematical logic. The first of these clarifications reflects the extensional (volumetric) aspect of the concept of O., the second - the intensional (semantic, substantive) aspect. In set-theoretic terms, a binary (n-ary) operator is a set of ordered pairs (respectively ordered n-types) of members of a certain set (the field of a given operator). If an ordered pair (x, y) belongs to some O. R, then x is also said to be in O. R to y [symbolically: R (xy) or xRy]. the set of first elements of ordered pairs included in O. R constitutes its domain of definition (departure), the set of second elements constitutes its domain of values ​​(arrival). similar concepts are introduced for multiplace O. A relation consisting of pairs (y, x) obtained by rearranging the terms of a given O. R pairs (x, y) is called the inverse of R and is denoted by R &minus.1. the range of values ​​of one of these mutually inverse O. [the term is justified by the fact that always (R &minus.1)&minus.1 = R] serves as the domain of definition of the other, and the domain of definition is the domain of values. Since sets are special cases of sets, set-theoretic operations are introduced for them in the usual way, in particular the union, intersection, and addition of sets (see Set theory). Let us consider some properties and basic types of the most important (for applications and theoretical constructions) class of objects—binary objects. Properties of binary objects. Let R = . If for any x xRx is true, then R is called reflexive (examples: O. equality of numbers - each number is equal to itself, similarity of triangles, etc.). If for any x xRy does not hold (symbolically: ⌉. xRy), then R is called anti-reflexive, or irreflexive (for example, O. perpendicularity of lines - no line is perpendicular to itself). If for any x and y that are not equal to each other, one of them is in relation R to the other (that is, one of the three relations xRy, x = y or yRx is satisfied), then R is called connected (for example, O. inequality &ne. ). If for any x and y from xRy and xR&minus.1y it follows x = y (i.e. R and R&minus.1 are satisfied simultaneously only for terms that are equal to each other), then R is called antisymmetric (for example, O. &le. and &ge. for any objects). If for any x and y xRy implies ⌉. xRy, then R is called asymmetric (such are, for example, O., since no object is greater or less than itself). If for any x, y and z xRy and yRz imply xRz, then R is called transitive (such as, for example, O. = or It would be possible to define other properties of binary O., but it is easy to show that already through these properties by means logical operations define all others. Types of relations. A significant part of the types of operators given below have already been encountered above in examples. The combination of the properties of reflexivity, symmetry and transitivity leads us to the most important type of relations - this is an operator of the type of equality (identity, equivalence). It is not difficult to show that any such operator induces (determines) a partition of the set on which it is defined into disjoint classes—the so-called equivalence classes: elements associated with a given operator fall into a common class, those not associated into different ones. ., the elements that fall into the general class are in a certain sense indistinguishable, which determines the importance of this type of O. Lit.: Tarski A., Introduction to the logic and methodology of deductive sciences, translated from English, M., 1948. Church A. ., Introduction to mathematical logic, trans. from English, vol. 1, M., 1960. Uemov A. I., Things, properties and relationships, M., 1963. Shreider Yu. A., Equality, similarity, order, M., 1971. Yu. L Gastev.

A ratio of two numbers, the quotient of dividing the first number by the second. The equation of two homogeneous quantities is the number resulting from measuring the first quantity when the second is chosen as the unit of measure. If two quantities are measured using the same unit of measure, then their O. is equal to the O. of the numbers measuring them. The length of two segments can be expressed as a rational or irrational number. In the first case, the segments are called commensurable, and in the second - incommensurable. Mathematicians of the ancient world did not know irrational numbers. for them, the concept of O. two segments was not reduced to the concept of number. The geometric theory of numerical quantities, independent of the concept of number, played an independent role among them and, in a certain sense, replaced the theory of real numbers (see Number). Indeed, according to Euclid, four segments a, b, a &rsquo. b&rsquo. constitute the proportion a: b = a &rsquo.: b &rsquo., if for any natural numbers m and n one of the relations ma = nb, ma > nb, ma is satisfied simultaneously with the corresponding relation ma &rsquo. = nb &rsquo.. ma &rsquo. > nb&rsquo. or ma &rsquo. incommensurability of a and b, this means that the division of all rational numbers (x = m / n) into two classes according to the criterion a > xb or a &rsquo. > xb &rsquo. or a &rsquo. (otherwise - complex, anharmonic) O. see Double relation.

What are the relationships between a man and a woman?

There are all types of relationships described above between a man and a woman, but we will look at their romantic variety in more detail. In this category it is worth highlighting 3 main subspecies :

• Periodic sexual contacts . Two people can be connected by friendship or only superficial acquaintance. The main goal is to satisfy the sexual needs of each partner. At the same time, there is no talk of a romantic component;
• Polygamous . This is a full relationship. In this case, a man and a woman can have more than one sexual partner. It is important here that both partners agree with polygamy. It is worth noting that marriage is not an obstacle to polygamy. The main thing is the consent of two people to this type of relationship;
• Monogamous . In this case, the man and woman have only one sexual partner. This type of relationship is possible both in marriage and without it. A man and a woman can even live separately, but remain faithful to each other. This option requires a high level of awareness and self-control on the part of both partners.

Can a man and woman be friends without a hint of romance between them? This question haunts many scientists, but they have never found an exact answer to it.

For your information! Most psychologists tend to believe that for a woman, unlike a man, it is not difficult to maintain platonic relationships with the opposite sex.

Unfortunately, most men have a hard time seeing women as anything other than a sex object.

Karmic relationships: signs

Many astrologers believe that karmic relationships always begin at the same period. How to understand what is meant? It is enough to calculate your personal karmic number. This is done using the following method:

1. Take your date of birth. For example, 04/25/1990.
2. Add all the date digits one by one: 2+5+4+1+9+9=30.
3. Your karmic number is 30. In other words, expect another karmic encounter every 30 years.

Now let’s take a closer look at what karmic love is and the signs of such a relationship:

Spontaneity and surprise of the meeting

They say that the best things in life happen spontaneously. But astrologers are ready to argue with the veracity of this judgment. As a rule, karmic encounters are a vivid example of spontaneity, but this is only at first glance. It seems that the meeting was unusual and memorable, a coincidence and nothing more. In fact, such rendezvous are carefully planned by higher powers.

How to work off karma: Pxhere

Big difference in age

Love for all ages. And this is true, especially when it comes to karmic relationships. Very often, such a connection is formed among people of different generations, different views on life and different social status. Immaturity combined with maturity is needed to nurture a partner, changing his view of the world.

Incredible pace of the novel

This is not obvious to all couples in a karmic union. But this trend is very easy to observe from the outside: lovers get married immediately after a short affair, their relationship seethes and boils, and the result of love is children. And then the situation rapidly worsened: quarrels, divorce, mutual grievances and reproaches.

Making rash but fateful decisions

In karmic relationships, you find out the goal only at the end of the path, so the direct participant perceives all the vicissitudes of the romance in his own way. A partner may quickly decide to move, quit his job, and disrupt his entire normal life for the sake of another person, and this does not always end well.

Lack of offspring

It is human nature to want to leave a mark on this planet. But sometimes nature itself does not allow lovers to conceive and bear an heir. This is a clear sign that you have a karmic debt, the resolution of which is the main goal of the novel.

A sharp deterioration in the situation in the couple

Mutual reproaches, grievances, unresolved conflicts, sometimes assault and family violence occur among couples who have karmic relationships. All this happens to open your eyes and force you to reevaluate your own life.

An ending that leaves pain and suffering

Most often, karmic relationships end in an unexpected ending. You get divorced, leaving a residue of unsaidness, mutual insults, reproaches and grief. You neutralize all the good things that happened in your life together, because negative emotions come to the fore.

Getting out of karmic relationships correctly is difficult, but possible:

1. It is important to realize that you are in just such a union, and also to understand what your karmic debt is.
2. How to understand that karma has been worked out? The subsequent romance will be filled with love, harmonious and will bring pleasure. You will remember karmic relationships with gratitude, and you will also stop reproaching your ex-partner.

Remember that any karmic lesson can be recognized and worked through. Only through internal metamorphoses and changes can you improve the outside world.

Do you need a relationship without commitment?

Another name for this type of relationship between a man and a woman is polygamy . Partners have a full-fledged relationship, and do not limit their sex life to one person .

This type is achieved only with the mutual consent of a man and a woman, and is not something prohibited.

It cannot be said that there is a clear framework for such an alliance, because everything here is very individual, and is regulated only by the level of readiness for such experiments. Each polygamous couple creates its own internal rules, which are supported only by verbal agreement .

Statistics show that most often people are not ready to maintain an open type of relationship for a long time. In developed countries, only 5% of couples classify their relationship as polygamous, the rest try to adhere to monogamy.

Whether such experiments are needed or not, everyone must decide for themselves.

Important! It is worth noting that people tend to strive for stability, and relationships without obligations can hardly be called a reliable and predictable partnership.

A strong union, in which a high level of intimacy and mutual understanding can be achieved, is built only on the trust and loyalty of the partners to each other.

In general, man...

P..s. I haven't seen such beauty for a long time