The fear of dying is a common phobia in world psychological practice, because a person is afraid of the unknown. A phobia can arise suddenly at any age or poison life for many years from childhood, if there were prerequisites for this. This mental disorder, which occurs in a severe form, can lead to tragic consequences, so it is very important to contact a psychologist in a timely manner. Having found out the cause, the specialist will give recommendations on how to cope with the fear of death on your own, and, if necessary, prescribe therapeutic treatment.
How does this fear arise?
How to overcome the fear of death if you do not imagine its nature, the source of its appearance? Psychologists believe that this is impossible. In order to fight any phenomenon, you need to understand exactly what it is and how it arose.
The vast majority of phobias that poison people's lives are formed in early childhood. Of course, fear of death is no exception. As a rule, it first appears at the age of 3-4 years, reaches its apogee by 6 years, and then gradually becomes dull. If the experienced negative sensation does not leave consciousness and does not fade away, then a phobia is formed.
Fear appears the moment a child learns that people are not eternal. And the way the baby learned about this largely influences his further attitude towards death. If a child sees suffering from a serious illness, long and painful agony, then the likelihood of developing a phobia is very high. If a child learns that life is interrupted from fairy tales and films, then it is unlikely that he will ever need to learn about how to overcome the fear of death.
Try to distract yourself
The thought arose: “What should I do? I'm dying!" When you feel an attack approaching, remember one thing - don’t give in to it! Psychologists advise simple but effective actions:
- Do breathing exercises.
- Start clapping your hands.
- Go to the window - count the passing cars, concentrate on the clothes of passers-by.
- If you are not alone, ask someone to talk to you. The direction of the conversation doesn’t matter here—he can tell a children’s story or ask spontaneous questions. The main thing is that you do not concentrate on your condition.
What is the nature of this fear?
Psychologists define thanatophobia as a set of anxieties, fears, heavy thoughts, negative emotions caused by understanding, awareness of the transience of life, the inevitability of death, both one’s own and those of loved ones.
This fear is basic and natural, although it does not appear reflexively. Psychologists do not classify it as negative emotions acquired on the basis of personal life experience for the following reasons:
- death was not experienced by the person who feared it;
- this fear is one of the components of the “survival system”.
The meaning of this emotion is to preserve life expectancy.
In fact, for the first time, people think about how to overcome the fear of death immediately after they learn about its existence, that is, in early childhood. Of course, kids don’t think about the transience of life. The very first forms of combating this fear are denial and belief. The children first declare that they themselves will never die. After a couple of years, they demand that parents and grandparents make a promise, swear that no one in the family will die.
Subsequently, this fear dulls; it does not torment the person constantly, but does not disappear anywhere. As soon as people are faced with the death of loved ones, acquaintances, or hear in the news about the death of other people, difficult thoughts and experiences return to consciousness. At such moments in life, the question of how to overcome the fear of death becomes extremely relevant. However, such “exacerbations” are not at all evidence of a phobia; on the contrary, indifference and lack of anxiety indicate pathology.
Thanatophobia: the essence of the problem
Thanatophobia is included in the group of anxiety disorders. It represents the fear of death, which is pathological in nature. Any living creature experiences such fear - and this is normal. Thanks to this fear, a person’s instinct of self-preservation is triggered in life-threatening situations. However, some people - and in fact there are a lot of them - experience constant panic fear of the possibility of dying. These thoughts become intrusive, crowding out other thoughts, interests, and experiences. A person cannot control or explain this feeling. This is thanatophobia.
Very few people do not sometimes worry about what the process of dying and death itself represent, what will happen to them after they leave this world. These thoughts are within the normal range, but only until a person begins to think only about this. It is normal to worry, be afraid, or worry about this in conditions that pose a threat to human life. But if he is constantly afraid, even when there is no real threat, these are already signs of pathological fear that goes beyond the norm.
Personality characteristics of a thanatophobe
Not every person develops a feeling of panic before death. People with accentuated character traits are usually susceptible to developing this condition: they are sensitive, vulnerable, suspicious, excitable, and anxious. They usually have low self-esteem, they are not self-confident, they tend to get stuck in cycles, and there are many hypochondriacs among them. There are a lot of creative and scientific people among those with thanatophobia. Such people are very often selfish, stubborn and do not tolerate criticism, ignoring any views of others that differ from their own. Along with this, they are incredibly energetic and motivated.
A constant feeling of fear exhausts a person. Thanatophobes are in a constant state of anxiety, depression, anxiety, the cause of which they cannot explain. They are often nervous, irritable and aggressive, and they are not able to control this. Their mood is gloomy and depressed. Against this background, depressive disorder often develops.
How to distinguish irrational fear from natural?
Psychologists begin to suspect the likelihood of pathology if a person is afraid of death:
- being at a young age, in the prime of life;
- does not have any serious health problems;
- not exposed to danger;
- has not experienced the death of anyone or news of the death of people in the recent past.
That is, if a person has no reason to think about the transience of life, but he feels a constant fear of its termination, then this is pathology.
What are the main signs of this phobia?
How to overcome the fear of death on your own? Psychologists advise starting with determining whether the feeling you are experiencing is a phobia. In the modern world there are an unusually large number of events related to death. For example, if a person sees daily stories in the news or other programs about the death of people, then he involuntarily begins to fear for his life. But such fear is not pathological, since it is provoked by a reminder, a thematic information flow.
Most irrational fears are accompanied by physiological signs, such as increased heart rate, sweating, headaches, and trembling hands. However, thanatophobia, if it is not accompanied by other fears, does not have pronounced physiological symptoms.
The pathology is characterized by the following:
- refusal to perform simple actions that could be potentially dangerous;
- excessively frequent visits to doctors, without reason for this;
- disturbances in sleep integrity;
- inadequate assessment of the surrounding reality, strange actions.
A person suffering from irrational, pathological fear feels exhausted, tired, very tired. Emotionally, he is completely exhausted and devastated.
The fear he experiences is not only uncontrollable, on the contrary, the phobia gains power over the person. Concern for preserving one's life takes on grotesque forms. Often people stop leaving their homes altogether, communicating with others via the Internet and using it to pay bills and order delivery of necessary goods.
Symptoms
Let's look at the characteristic symptoms. These signs of a panic attack may be very familiar to those suffering from VSD - vegetative-vascular dystonia. The patient feels the following:
- Labored breathing. It seems that there is not enough air. This causes the alarming thought “It looks like I’m dying.”
- Trembling in the body.
- Strong, rapid heartbeat. Patients say that it feels like their heart is about to jump out of their chest. Its knocking becomes obsessive, it is felt throughout the body.
- The patient feels either cold or hot.
- Severe dizziness. The patient feels like he is about to faint. This is what causes the thought “I think I’m going to die soon.”
- Either the whole body or individual parts of it become numb.
- There is a lump in the throat. Sometimes it is difficult to say even one word.
- The patient loses orientation in space.
- Blood pressure rises and falls.
All of the above symptoms develop very quickly. This is why it is so difficult to calm a person suffering from panic attacks. He cannot understand what is happening to him: “What should I do? I'm dying?"
What are the causes of phobia?
What should a person do who is wondering how to overcome the fear of death? Expert advice, as a rule, begins with an explanation of the need to identify the reasons why the pathology developed. Only by understanding why fear has become irrational can you cope with it.
The causes of thanatophobia include:
- psychological or physical trauma;
- desire for complete and absolute control;
- the presence of difficult to implement plans, unsatisfied desires;
- lack of demand, loss of life goals.
Of course, the reason for the appearance of irrational fear can be purely individual, but, as a rule, it can still be classified as one of the main ones. It is very difficult to figure out on your own why a phobia arose, especially if its origins lie not in the cause itself, but in a combination of them. Therefore, it makes sense to ask someone close to you for help. After all, in a frank conversation it is much easier to find the “culprits” of irrational fears than when thinking alone.
Adjust your lifestyle
Panic attacks are a consequence of constant stress. If you sleep catastrophically little, don’t care about your diet, and forgot about proper rest, then they won’t keep you waiting. This is a kind of signal for help - your body is tired, it cannot constantly exist in a frantic rhythm, it needs a break.
The treatment here is simple: take a vacation, spend a weekend in nature, retire at home with your favorite movie or book, go to a place where you have long dreamed of visiting, or return for a few days to a place where you were once happy.
What traumas lead to the appearance of pathological fear?
If how to overcome the fear of death directly depends on understanding the reasons for the development of a phobia, then what exactly can become them? For example, what injuries do you need to remember? If a person was punished with a belt in childhood, and he remembered it for the rest of his life, would this be a basis for thanatophobia?
Of course, not every trauma received in childhood can transform into an irrational fear of death. Moreover, not all psychologists believe that physical trauma can be considered as a potential cause of the development of thanatophobia.
Observing a serious illness, agony, or death in a disaster of another person leads to an obsessive fear of death. It may not be a family member. Also, for a child, the death of a pet is a serious psychological trauma, especially if it occurred through the child’s fault, due to his negligence. It is not the fact of death itself that can be traumatic, but its consequences. That is, if a hamster died in front of a child, and adults simply threw its body in the trash, then this will definitely traumatize the baby.
As for physiology, some psychologists believe that an obsessive fear of death can develop due to severe pain, combined with fear and a visit to the hospital. For example, if a child fell from a swing and broke his head, lost consciousness, and woke up in a hospital room, then he will probably develop an irrational fear of death.
Learn to relax
Panic attacks plague people who keep all their experiences and emotions inside themselves. When the cup inside overflows, the body requires discharge. The consequence of this is a panic attack.
Learning to let go of negative emotions, not to hold or accumulate them in oneself is a difficult art. To master such skill, you need to spend more than one year. However, today such practices are available to everyone. This is meditation, yoga. You can easily find master classes, lessons, and visual exercises on the Internet. Some information is free and in the public domain.
How does the desire for control contribute to the development of a phobia?
Is it bad to control your life and lead to the development of pathology? Of course no. What leads to the emergence of a phobia is not control over current events in life, over affairs, or over one’s behavior and habits.
Obsessive fear occurs when a person feels the need for total, absolute control over everything around him. This desire is also a pathology. Thus, one mental disorder gives rise to another. In other words, every tyrant is terrified of death. At the same time, the scope of his tyranny does not matter much. A despot who torments family members experiences the same sensations as a ruler who controls an entire people.
How do unrealized plans affect the appearance of a phobia?
Sometimes a person suffers from thanatophobia only because he is very afraid of not having time to realize his dreams, plans, and satisfy his desires. Such people literally physically feel the passage of time; they are constantly in a hurry and, as a rule, often do not have time to accomplish what they had planned during the day.
How to overcome the fear of death caused by such a fear? Very simple. You need to include in your daily plan as many things as you can realistically accomplish. And besides this, you should stop dreaming, planning and wishing, you need to start implementing your plans. Each step towards achieving a goal reduces the level of fear experienced.
How does the loss of the meaning of life and one’s place in it affect the development of this phobia?
The feeling of the meaninglessness of your own life is also a mental disorder. Thanatophobia in this case is not the main problem requiring the help of a psychologist. In this situation, it acts as a concomitant symptom.
A person who has lost understanding of his place in life, suffering from the meaninglessness of existence, deprived of recognition in society and being in demand in it, often thinks about suicide. Thanatophobia in this case arises as a defense mechanism that keeps a person from dying. It is she who forces you to wake up every day, eat, drink, and go outside.
Accordingly, in such circumstances there is no need to think about how to overcome the fear of death. The advice of a psychologist in this situation concerns the fight against the main problem. That is, it is necessary to regain the meaning of life, find a place in it, and realize one’s own “I”. Once this happens, the obsessive fear of death will disappear.
Specialist help
Self-medication of both physiological and psychological problems is not the best way to solve them. Along with using the tips above, do not forget about a timely visit to a qualified psychologist. As with any disease, the sooner you seek help, the faster and easier it will be to get rid of it.
If you are in a critical condition, you will need the help of a psychotherapist - the doctor will prescribe you sedatives. Most often these are herbal products that are safe for the body and harmless to the psyche. But remember that you shouldn’t “prescribe” them for yourself!
How to overcome this phobia? How to stop fearing for the lives of your loved ones and your own?
Psychologists believe that changing the way you think can help in overcoming the fear of death of loved ones and your own. What does this mean? The fact that if it is impossible to change the situation, you should reconsider your attitude towards it. This method of dealing with negative emotions has been known for a long time. And it is very effective in independently combating thanatophobia.
Its practical application is conventionally divided into two stages. The first involves recognizing the cause of the obsessive fear and changing your attitude towards what it is. The second stage is devoted to the formation of a new type of thinking.
The main points on the basis of which you need to change your way of thinking are as follows:
- death is simply a part of life, a law of nature, the same as the change of seasons;
- not everything needs to be controlled;
- nothing threatens life, health and well-being;
- fear interferes;
- Every day is unique and provides many opportunities to make your dreams come true.
Of course, the list of theses can and should be adjusted depending on the reasons for the appearance of the phobia.
How can a believer cope with a phobia?
As a rule, believers are not afraid of death, because they are convinced that after death their souls will live forever. However, this postulate applies only to righteous people; those who lived in violation of the laws of God will face eternal torment. Therefore, many sincerely believing people are still afraid of death. But what frightens them is not the fact of death itself, but fiery Gehenna, hell and the eternal torment of the soul.
How can a sinner overcome the fear of death? Orthodoxy points out a very simple path - repentance and redemption. But sometimes believers, who sincerely repent of their past sins and atone for them every hour of their lives, are still tormented by obsessive irrational fear.
In such situations, priests advise remembering that death and life are inseparable. Consequently, fearing one thing, a person experiences horror of the other. You can cope with this condition by asking the Almighty for help in prayers. But besides this, it is necessary to change your attitude towards both death and life. Every day should be spent as if it were your last. As soon as there is nothing to be ashamed of, the obsessive fear of death will go away.
