If at least once in your life you have been subjected to psychological pressure from your boss or colleagues, know that mobbing has been initiated against you. What are its causes, and how to protect yourself from it? Read on.
Mobbing (from the English mob - crowd) is a newfangled word, but the phenomenon that it denotes is as old as the world. This is the name for a form of psychological pressure on an employee from the management of a company or an entire team. The purpose of this action is not just to humiliate the victim, but to achieve his dismissal.
If no one has ever been against you, then you are very lucky. Although in Ukraine, every second Ukrainian has encountered “bullying” at work. What to do when hostility and hostility from colleagues has turned into daily emotional or physical terror?
Work.ua figured out the types and reasons for mobbing and found tools to protect against it.
Kinds
Let's immediately differentiate the concepts. Banal squabbles that happen in almost every team are not mobbing. If you were once scolded by your boss for not sending an important letter, then you are paying for your own irresponsibility. When a colleague makes a remark that you are interfering with your work by talking too loudly on the phone about personal matters, this is an attempt to stop your tactlessness.
But if every working day begins with aggression, criticism, open insults, nagging, damage to your or office property and other meanness on the part of your manager or co-workers, then there is reason to worry - mobbing has been initiated against you. It can be horizontal (pressure comes from employees); vertical (from management); mixed.
Bullying and mobbing: differences between concepts
There are similarities between these two concepts: both bullying and mobbing imply bullying in a team, psychological violence against a person. However, there is a significant difference. If during mobbing one person is confronted by a whole group of people, then during bullying it is only one person.
Understanding the reason for such behavior on the part of your colleague is not easy. Perhaps you took his position, for which he applied before you. Or the reason lies elsewhere - in personal hostility. And it can also happen when the boss becomes a subordinate. In any case, you should be attentive to such situations, since even one person can ruin your reputation at work.
In general, the psychological climate in a team is very important. Even material values recede into the background if you are very friendly with your colleagues. Therefore, bullying and mobbing can significantly complicate your professional activities.
The psychology of mobbing has not been fully studied. It is still unclear why people choose victims of emotional abuse at work. Below we will try to figure out what may be a prerequisite for such behavior among colleagues.
Causes
The object of envy of the mobber and his minions can be anything: expensive outfits, youth, professional success, a new position, the marital status of the victim, the loyal attitude of management towards her.
The instigators of bullying may harass a colleague out of idleness. This way they get rid of negative emotions and enjoy the process itself.
Competition in the workplace, high staff turnover, and the desire for revenge are also common reasons. In this way, mobbers make their way to promotion, satisfy unsatisfied ambitions, or achieve the dismissal of an employee with whom they once had a conflict.
“The victim will never stop the bullying”
► Can I use my actions to stop bullying?
I don't want our conversation to give the impression that the victim can stop the bullying. She may stop being a victim, but another person will still take her place.
► How can I help the person who took my place?
You can come up and say that you see how the situation is, that the same thing happened to you, you can tell how you avoided the role of a victim. You can initiate a discussion of bullying as a group problem, activate the moral sense of colleagues, for example, by asking the question: “Which of you is ready to be next?”
► What should I do if my loved one is a victim?
First of all, it is important to simply support the person. There is the so-called “Karpman triangle” , which describes an interaction model in which there is a victim, an aggressor and a rescuer. And it is very important not to take on the role of a rescuer for this person, because in this way you seem to be saying that he cannot cope on his own.
You need to ask how you can help, say that you are ready to support him, offer to consider his options for action. By believing that he deserves better treatment, you can give him strength to resist.
► How can I tell if my child is being terrorized at school if he doesn’t talk about it himself?
As a rule, the child’s motivation to go to school decreases, his behavior changes: for example, he was cheerful, but became withdrawn. The child may also become emotionally unbalanced. A parent who has good contact with the child will definitely notice such changes.
If this is your case, talk to your child. He doesn’t want to discuss it and won’t admit it - contact the class teacher, tell him about the changes you’ve noticed, ask why this could be, what the situation is like in the class, whether he noticed anything.
Very often, in children's groups, bullying is confused with unpopularity. Or they take some actions like throwing things at the student during the game. But the game involves voluntary participation, everyone should have fun in it.
You need to let the teacher understand that what is happening is not normal and insist that he tries to change the situation. If he does not want to do this, go to the school management and resolve this issue with him.
► What if the aggressor is a teacher?
The scheme is the same: you demand a respectful attitude towards the child, and if this does not happen, contact the management. If no one wants to solve the problem, it makes sense to transfer the child to another school.
► How can you be sure that your child will not be bullied further because he complained?
The aggressor often uses this fear as one of the ways to make the victim more vulnerable, cut off all possible resources to change the situation, and demoralize even more.
It is important to maintain the possibility of confidential contact and remain sensitive. Say that you notice changes in him, that it bothers you, that you want to help. Show that you are on his side, make it clear that you will not leave him, that you can protect him and will do it in any way, even if you need to move to another school.
► What if studying at this particular school is important?
It is important to take into account the main factor: a child will never study where he is unsafe. If he feels any tension in the team, he will be busy trying to ensure his safety, all his energy will be spent on this, and there will be no resource left for studying. And what then is the value of the establishment? When safety is at stake, we cannot talk about the level of education.
► What should I do if I am a teacher and am being attacked by a student?
The teacher has many resources to protect himself from the victim: you can at least kick the student out of the office. But if we talk about minors, then it is important to understand what causes such behavior, because in this case you have a great responsibility.
Talk to him alone, contact his parents: what if it’s all because violence is rampant in his family? Then your task is to show your child a different model of behavior.
► What should I do if I am a boss and am asked to solve a bullying problem?
You must understand that in this situation everyone suffers, that people avoid responsibility for what is happening. And a very important point in getting out of bullying is to let the aggressor not lose face . Otherwise, he will have a complex inside him that will also seek release. We must give all participants in the process the opportunity to get out of this situation with dignity.
You can develop rules of communication for the team: for example, you cannot make evil jokes, you need to be interested in the condition of others, you cannot take other people’s things without asking, or silently watch as someone is offended or ignored. You can draw up a kind of contract so that everyone takes responsibility for what is happening within the team. And if someone violates this contract, then simply point to the poster with the rules and a personal signature. It is worth making attempts to unite the team and build a flexible hierarchy: what Petrov is good at, what Sidorov does best...
Why do we talk about the failure of working against an aggressor: measures of influence and the label “bad” that is hung on him automatically create even greater pain in him, which can result in aggression.
How to protect yourself
The simplest but most effective way to avoid bullying is to prevent it. Follow the basic rules: be polite, restrained, friendly, respect the values and traditions of the organization. Don't neglect your official responsibilities.
If the conflict has reached a boiling point, and you don’t want to lose a good job with a high salary and prospects for career growth, try to defend yourself in these ways.
Analyze the situation
Perhaps the comments of your colleagues and boss are not unfounded. Maybe you ignore corporate traditions and unwritten company rules, behave defiantly, brag, flirt, and are irresponsible in your functional responsibilities. Realize what you are doing wrong and start doing it right.
Explain yourself
Talk to the leader of the mobbers, find out why you didn’t please him, and try to smooth out the sharp edges of the conflict.
Ask for protection
If conversation does not help, then inform management or the HR department about the situation. It is those at the helm who play the most important role in preventing mobbing. Don't delay, don't wait for everything to work out. It is better to stop this phenomenon in the early stages. If the aggression comes from your superiors, then feel free to quit. It is not worth it.
Abstract yourself
It's hard, but try to ignore the attacks of the offender. Be calm, friendly, punctual, avoid hysterics and open confrontations. Focus on fulfilling your professional responsibilities. Don't offend yourself, but evaluate whether you have enough strength to give a worthy rebuff to emotional terror.
Quit your job
Do this as soon as you feel that the comments and bullying towards you have become permanent. Quitting is not an escape, but a smart way to keep your health and nerves in order. Be smart, give in.
Call 102
If pressure threatens your health or life, and you have evidence of this, report it to the police.
Mobbing is insidious and dangerous. Firstly, if you are humiliated and oppressed, this in itself is unpleasant. Secondly, a prolonged conflict situation has an equally destructive effect on the victim, the instigators and the company as a whole.
Work.ua wishes that a friendly atmosphere always reigns in your team, conducive to productive work and pleasant business communication. And you never had to deal with “toxic” employees.
And remember that self-confident, cultured people with high self-esteem do not engage in mobbing.
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Features of manifestation
Mobbing, like other types of bullying, can have different degrees of severity : it manifests itself relatively mildly or, on the contrary, harshly, causing deep psychological trauma to the victims.
The so-called “light” mobbing should also not be underestimated : any violence, even not too rough, has a destructive effect on the psyche, over time leading to the development of many mental illnesses and the aggravation of existing ones.
Mobbing, like bullying in general, is usually divided into:
- Horizontal. The victim and the aggressors occupy approximately equal positions in the existing social structure. For example, if several employees began to bully one who has the same position as them, this refers to horizontal mobbing.
- Vertical. Aggressors and victims are at different positions in the social structure. For example, if a boss bullies a subordinate, this is vertical mobbing. However, a manager can also become a victim under certain conditions. Bullying by a boss is called “bossing.”
Often horizontal types of bullying are present in the work team because it is directly or indirectly approved by superiors.
Also, some actions of the boss can provoke bullying .
The main signs of mobbing by the boss and colleagues:
- The desire not to provide the employee with important information. Information necessary for the correct and timely performance of work duties is either hidden, transmitted too late, or deliberately distorted. For example, if the victim is sick and misses an important event, she will not be given the necessary information, and there will not be a clear response to targeted questions.
- Belittling him in the presence of others. This method of emotional abuse is often used by superiors: for example, a boss can use various planning meetings, five-minute meetings, meetings for humiliation, at which he discusses with gusto the actions and negative aspects of everyone he does not like, using any reason for humiliation. The same employees are usually subject to humiliation, and other employees do not receive a significant reprimand for similar or even more serious mistakes.
- The appearance of false accusations against an employee. This usually occurs with the horizontal type of bullying: fellow aggressors, trying to harm the victim, use any reason for a written complaint, if necessary, embellishing minor offenses or simply making things up.
- Insults, direct or indirect. They are actively used by both employees and management. The victim’s mental abilities, behavior, habits, interests, life position, and so on are belittled. Indirect insults usually include snideness, often using gaslighting (“It’s just a joke, can’t you take a joke?” “I think you’re too sensitive”) in response to the victim’s outrage.
- The desire to talk about him negatively in dialogues with colleagues and bosses. Bullies, at any opportunity, will speak negatively about the victims, thereby creating in the interlocutor (especially those who know little about the target of bullying) the feeling that the person in question is a disgusting employee and person.
If such an opinion is formed by someone who is capable of supporting mobbing to one degree or another, the pressure on the victim will increase. - Belittling an employee’s professional abilities, expressing doubts about competence. They can also be direct or indirect, often expressed in the presence of others to increase the victim's discomfort. At the same time, such statements are difficult to classify as criticism; they often have no justification.
- Ignoring. The target of bullying does not receive support from colleagues; when he asks something, the interlocutor answers without specifics or does not answer at all, and sends him to someone else. They do not want to take the victim into team activities; her achievements and efforts are ignored, which hinders career advancement, especially if the tactics of ignoring are supported by management.
- The desire to give the most unpleasant task. The target of mobbing is given the most thankless job; they may be required to do more than is required of the rest of the team. At the same time, his efforts and successes are ignored, and his failures are put on public display.
- Cybermobbing and other manifestations of bullying that go beyond the work day. Employees and superiors can continue to harm the victim outside of work: making fun of her on social networks, stalking her after work, looking for incriminating material to use in the future.
In some cases, bullying manifests itself in extremely cruel forms: the victim is bullied, his things may be damaged, or even beaten after work.
