How to captivate a man and keep his interest for a long time?
I listen to women and understand how difficult it is for them and men sometimes. Women simply don’t know where to go from the advances of men they don’t like at all. And then another situation arises when it is difficult to captivate the man you like. He doesn’t react to a woman and that’s it.
Then the opposite question arises: how to stir it up? In this article I will talk more about how to captivate a man for the first time, however, for those couples who have already lived together for many years, I think it will be interesting to read this article.
You can probably say that seducing a man is as easy as shelling pears, because the psychology of men in relationships with women is simple and primitive. You just need to wear a tight-fitting red dress above the knees with a large cutout on the chest, put on good makeup and walk around in such an outfit for a while in front of a man, “accidentally” touching him.
To some extent, I agree with you, this method is effective. For some men, this is more than enough. But whose attention can you attract with this outfit? What associations will you evoke? If we are talking about teenagers, young men (for example, after the army), then definitely, you will attract more than enough attention. Well, or about manipulators and home-grown Don Juanas, but about this category of men, read the article “How to recognize a male manipulator and what to do .
If we are talking about mature men, about those men with whom you can build a long-term relationship and get married, then this is not that it is not enough - it can generally lead in the other direction. It is a myth that long legs and big breasts are all that is needed to attract a man's attention and seduce a man. Not all.
If everything were so simple and unambiguous, then the article should not be called “How to captivate a man”
, but for example “How to choose a dress in order to seduce a man.”
So, what is the most important set of things that a man takes into account in order to follow a woman and start courting her? I wrote about this in great detail in my new book “23 Mistakes with Men. Mistakes on first dates" and in the book "Psychology of Men in Love" . But in this article I will still try to cover in some detail the topic of how to captivate a man.
The first and most powerful criterion for a man to court a woman is whether the man himself feels that he can please a woman or not?
The first rule is this: if a man feels that he can please and seduce a woman, then he will court and pursue her; if he does not feel it, then he will not.
Accordingly, and vice versa, if a woman wants a man to look after her, then she must behave in such a way that the man understands that he will not be “sent away.”
How to behave in such a way that a man feels that he has at least a minimal chance of success with a woman? I have already written about this many times, but I will repeat it again.
First, this is coquetry . If you want to seduce or captivate a man, then flirt with him.
For more information about what coquetry is and how to flirt with men, read the article “What is coquetry?
Be flirtatious and men will be at your feet!”
Second, compliment the man . But compliments should not be flattery just to attract a man's attention. Tell him what you really like about him, and most importantly, what is important to the man himself . If he plays sports, tell him that he has a great figure and that at his age it’s rare for anyone to look like that.
If he drives well, tell him that you like the way he drives. Etc. I think the general principle is clear.
Third. Hear about his exploits . But don't listen with irony or boredom. Try to also understand what is important for a man in these stories and admire his heroism.
If he has reinvented the wheel, then admire the new part that he attached to the frame or steering wheel. Find out how he came up with this “brilliant idea.”
If he installed a door at his friend’s dacha, and even though the house itself is already falling apart, but now he tells everyone he meets about the door, ask where he learned this. Tell him that it must be difficult to install a door alone, but he managed it. Etc.
The rule always works. Even if it seems that it does not work, these are just errors in the perception of men and women. A man may incorrectly believe that he has chances, although he does not have them. It may be the other way around, the man will consider that he has no chance, although there are more than enough.
The second rule is this. If a man immediately achieves everything from a woman, then interest in her is largely lost .
By the phrase “achieves everything,” I don’t just mean sex. Most likely, this is not even the main thing, although it is quite important. Read about this in more detail “19 mistakes with men. How to make him love and respect you .
What I mean by “get it all” is get all the attention, all the admiration, all the time, all the love of a woman, etc.
More than once I have compared the thinking of men with the thinking of a hunter or thinking during a game. This is the main type of thinking of a man. If the game (hunt) is over and cannot be continued, then interest in it is gradually lost. If the game can continue, then interest in it can remain until the end of life.
Let us remember the basic postulates of the game, in which interest remains. First, in the game a man wins more often, but sometimes he loses. This is an axiom of the game, no matter whether it is communicating with a woman or working.
What follows from this? How can you use this feature of men in such a way as to captivate and retain them?
The answer is already almost obvious. In your relationship, the man should win most of the time, but not always . Every now and then a man has to lose.
So, for the most part, support the man’s initiative and actions.
But sometimes a man needs to refuse, sometimes to disagree with him, sometimes to persist so hard that you cannot be moved. That is, let a man lose sometimes. This is quite important. And this is especially important in order to keep a man in love for a long time. Restrain your activity and initiative yourself, read “How to keep a man. Or the initiative is punishable .
A woman who always agrees, is always in love, is always available, always admires a man will inevitably lose the man's interest. And this does not happen because men are bad, but this is a manifestation of the laws of nature in action.
That’s why you shouldn’t agree to everything, not always be accessible and not always admire a man.
Be sure to watch the video
On the other hand, if a man always loses in a relationship with a woman, then interest in the game (the woman) is lost with the same pattern as in the first case. What is losing? This is when a woman is always right, always wins in arguments, a woman always has the last opinion in household and non-household matters, this is when no matter what a man does, it is always bad, etc.
Therefore, you don’t need to make your man lose too often in your relationship. Otherwise, gradually the man’s interest in the woman is also lost. In the best case, a man will find another safe game (computer, work, fishing) where he will receive satisfaction, then the relationship can survive. But in any case, it will be impossible to keep a man for a long time and keep his love and interest in a woman.
So, don’t always agree with a man, don’t always be available, don’t always be in love (outwardly), don’t always admire a man and he won’t lose interest in you.
And on the other hand, don’t always defeat a man in arguments, don’t always insist on your own in household matters, don’t always redo what a man did, even if he didn’t do it the way you think is right.
Distance, time.
All other things being equal, it is several times easier to captivate and seduce a man with whom you constantly or periodically communicate and with whom you spend some time together. Than someone with whom you don’t communicate and are practically never together. This seems obvious.
What conclusion follows from this rule? If you have the opportunity and time, then at first it is not at all necessary to even flirt and flirt with a man. It is enough to start communicating with him more and closer.
This communication does not even have to be romantic or consist of positive emotions at all. Even a small conflict or argument (but not hysteria) is better than no communication. (Once again, I advise you to watch the beginning of the movie “Girls,” where it was the conflict that marked the beginning of the relationship.) Some aggressiveness of a man at the beginning of a relationship can even serve as one of the signs that a man likes you. (An analogue of boys pulling the pigtails of girls they like)
However, too close a distance is not the best. Colleagues sitting at adjacent tables are, of course, better than a man and a woman in different cities, but far from the best option.
So, come up with or use an existing excuse and start communicating closer (but not too close) with the man you like. Just don’t show excessive initiative in this matter; I have already written more than once that men themselves like to take the initiative and win the woman they like.
Competition between men and women.
In total, competition between men for women. No matter what they say, this technique works, but it is too often misunderstood. Therefore, first read this paragraph carefully three times before trying to apply it. When using this technique, women often make many mistakes and often make things worse. In summary, a description of the reception.
Organize so that men compete for you and interest in you can increase significantly.
Men seem smart and reasonable, but when they get together, they often behave like a herd of sheep. This usually manifests itself in the fact that if one of the men who enjoys authority among a given herd, some kind of thing (game) appears, or he at least begins to achieve something or do something, then everyone else does the same they want the same “thing” or they also begin to achieve something and do something.
Accordingly, this can be used somehow. A classic example of the use of this technique is the film “The Most Charming and Attractive.” None of the men paid attention to the main character of the film. However, when, on the advice of her friend, a well-dressed man (her friend’s husband), who had a new “Six”, began to look after her a little, which in modern times is similar to some 7 model of WWII (that is, to be looked after by an authoritative monkey), then they began to look after her pay attention to all the men from her department and neighboring ones as well.
That is, in principle, the technique works, but its use in practice is not so simple and is fraught with errors.
The first and most serious mistake, which I already wrote about in the article “How to keep a man in good shape?” How to make a man jealous?
- this is a woman’s flirting with other men when she already has a regular partner and in this way she tries to arouse his jealousy. This is a very serious mistake. Note that even in the film “The Most Charming and Attractive” the main character did not flirt with the authoritative “male”, but it was he who tried to court her, and according to her, not very successfully.
The second common mistake may be in defining an “authoritative” man. An authoritative man for one group may not be so for another group. Money, power and outwardly confident behavior are universal tools, but are not always important for some group of men. But it is not so easy for a woman to determine on her own.
The third mistake is that you cannot focus on a man’s interest, which he shows in competitions with other men. After all, when the competition is over, interest in a woman may decrease significantly. You need to understand this.
If I haven’t scared you too much yet, then you can use this technique.
Carefree.
It’s not for nothing that there is such a thing as a “resort romance.” What is a “holiday romance”? This is the time when a man is forced to get closer to other women, and most importantly, he has forgotten about his worries for a while.
You can even derive a law that might look something like this: “A man’s attraction to women (as well as vice versa) is directly proportional to his carelessness.”
What is the benefit of this rule? A man who has a lot of big worries in life is not predisposed to courting women, even if he likes the woman and there are conditions for further development of the relationship.
If, for example, a man unexpectedly loses his job, business, apartment (is under a real threat of loss) or at least simply chronically fails to fulfill some plan at work, he chronically lacks money, is seriously ill, experiences betrayal by friends, etc. .d., then it’s better not to approach him.
A woman’s advances, which in another situation he would gladly support, will only irritate him. Therefore, it is better not to approach such a man until he has solved his problems. You can listen to his problems and sympathize with him, and that's enough.
I'm not talking about married men. No matter what they write or say, if everything is normal in the family, a married man will never create problems for himself.
And, accordingly, vice versa. Look for those moments in a man (or men in general) who are relatively successful in handling their affairs, no matter how insignificant they are. And avoid men who have problems they can't handle.
Of course, man differs from man. For some, a temperature drop of 3 degrees outside can cause universal worries, while for others, loss of work, family, etc. Causes only minor stress.
Perhaps that's enough for today. Of course, I have hardly mentioned many other quite important factors. However, I wrote separate articles about many of them on the “Sunny Hands” website and will not repeat the content.
Article protected by copyright and related rights. When using or reprinting material, an active link to the women's website sun-hands.ru is required! Sincerely, Rashid Kirranov.
Food! 2
Generally speaking, it was worth pointing this out almost at the beginning, because the dogma “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” is true in the same way as it has been for many centuries before. Yes, you know that he can take you to a restaurant, and anyway - why cook when you can order? But I will tell you this - there is nothing more pleasant to a man than food, no matter how simple it may be, prepared by the missus. If you consider yourself quite cheeky, and your gentleman quite tolerant, you can turn cooking and dinner into foreplay, flavoring the food with a large number of aphrodisiacs and limiting yourself to underwear and an apron as clothing. By the way, about foreplay - this will tell you how to maintain a man’s interest in yourself...
Secrets and mysteries
In any relationship, there comes a time when a man may think that he knows you perfectly, and nothing can surprise him. Then take the initiative into your own hands and prove that this is not so.
Alternatively, you can call your lover and tell him that you have learned something very interesting and secret. Of course, he will immediately start asking questions, but you don’t give in. Explain that you will tell everything in the evening at dinner. The whole day is on pins and needles for him. And in the evening, when the X-hour comes and you still need to tell him the secret, tell him something innocent and harmless, for example, “it turns out that as a child you were afraid of dogs!”
If you are still thinking about how to regain a man’s interest, then there is another such intriguing option. You can say that you urgently need to talk to him. This will probably not only intrigue, but also frighten your man. And when he rushes to you to find out what happened, with innocent eyes, say that you need advice on what color is best to dye your hair.
About the psychology of the stronger sex
One obvious truth: men are males
This is their strongest natural instinct.
It is vital for them to recognize themselves as a leader in any area: from work to family relationships and personal hobbies. Not a single representative of the stronger sex needs a woman next to her who always argues and is sure that she is always right. How to communicate with a guy? First of all, he expects support and a worthy assessment of his ideas. So give it to him. Your words that he is right, that his plans are grandiose, that only victory awaits him, will bring another plus to your piggy bank. And if before that he thought that you were nothing of yourself, now the direction of his thoughts will be different, there is definitely something in you.
Another truth: they are big kids.
The children have grown up, and so have their toys. Discuss his new car with him, praise his choice, and if you know a little about them, you can have deeper conversations. Toys can be different: fishing, hunting, subordinates... But you never know what else interests him. He will see you as a worthy, understanding interlocutor. If a truly trusting relationship has already developed, the man himself can tell you how to behave correctly with him. Ask him about it. And in general, try to speak with him openly and directly, so as not to do something that he will not like or will cause irritation. Explain to him that you expect the same frankness in return.
Advice from a psychologist on how to regain interest
If women don’t know what to do if a man has lost interest, the advice of a psychologist will help with this.
Interest
Every girl can bring back romance, passion and positive emotions to a relationship if she carefully reads the following recommendations:
- If in a family the husband has lost interest in his beloved, the lady should carefully analyze her own appearance. If a man married a girl in a delicate dress with a light scent of perfume, and at home every day he sees a strange person in a stretched robe, he needs to sound the alarm. Guys love with their eyes. Therefore, to maintain interest, you should not forget about self-care.
- To prevent a conversation with your husband from turning into a monologue, you need to at least sometimes be interested in his hobbies. New information will not only help expand your horizons, but will also become a connecting link in a conversation with your loved one.
- It is difficult for a man to give attention to a woman who does not keep the household clean. As soon as you manage to get rid of unwashed dishes and mountains of unironed linen, the atmosphere will help you get into a romantic mood.
- The husband likes to watch a sexy wife in the bedroom, and not a woman with clay and cucumbers on her face. Therefore, to regain a guy’s interest, you need to say “no” to simple shirts and beauty care in bed.
- Men, like girls, love surprises. Don’t forget about cute notes in the morning or small gifts once a week. The wife's attention will not go unnoticed.
- Don't be stingy with praise. Emotional support motivates men to new feats.
Whatever method is chosen to return the interest of your beloved man, results will appear only if you approach the process with soul. You should not rush, otherwise you can “break a lot of wood.” In the struggle for the attention of your lover, you should not lose self-respect, develop complexes and injure your own ego. If a man does not make contact, perhaps you should reconsider your feelings for him.
