How to let go of a loved one from your heart and soul, tips

From our article you will learn how you can let go of a person from your heart and survive this breakup as easily as possible.

Throughout his life, a person experiences many encounters. Meetings are always good. But, unfortunately, after meetings there are also separations. Breaking up is always difficult, especially when you have to do it with the people you love and are closest to. Where can I find the strength to let someone go? How to do this when your heart is breaking from pain - read about these and other points in the article.

How to let a person go from the soul, life - what does this mean?

Letting a person go from your life does not mean taking and forgetting the person once and for all. Let's look at what it means to let someone go:

letting go means becoming free from it;
be able to forgive;
say thank you for everything, because there were also good moments that you experienced;
you should not control his life, monitor what he does, track his life on social networks;
start enjoying life;
open up to new people, because there will be a person who will love you and you will love him all your life.

Letting go means becoming free

And you also need to Restore and Refill.

And this is a completely separate topic, another, indirect, way to let go of grief. To begin with, you have to do this almost through force - there is no hunting. Just so that you have the strength to take care of yourself, your home, your loved ones and somehow move on with your life. For example, as soon as I gained strength, I began to exercise my body more - stretching, jumping ropes, cycling, self-massage, and began to walk more. I began to strictly monitor my sleep schedule - because when I didn’t get enough sleep, the attacks of grief were stronger and more difficult to experience.

The homeopath advised the whole family to take the drug “Ignacia 30” for 2 weeks, 7 balls once a day, but this was at the early stage of loss, right away. I don't know how it works later. At that time, it gave relief 10 minutes after administration and for a long time. I spent a lot of time with people who love me and “basked” in their love. I allowed myself to do this as much as I wanted. And I didn’t communicate with those who were not friendly to me from my environment (I don’t take strangers into account). I hugged everyone, held hands - the feeling of the warmth of human bodies helped a lot.

In communication, I tried not to hold back and allowed myself to “be a fool” - to say stupid things, what was on my mind. There is no judgment or harm from talking in this manner with those who love you - only more love and openness in response. I began to be very attentive to what I eat and drink, what music I listen to, whether I wear comfortable clothes and shoes, whether what I look at pleases the eye.

And also, when I realized that my life was going on, I began to think - what should I fill it with - that is, what do I want to live for next, what tasks, dreams, goals do I see for myself? Those in which I feel it makes sense for me to continue to live and invest in them. These tasks were both big and not so big - for example, a big one - to write a book, a small one - to visit several places in Russia, which I have long dreamed of going to someday.

Is it possible to let go of a loved one easily?

At first glance, it seems that letting go of a loved one is very easy, you just need to break the connection, but no, it is much more difficult. To break a connection with a person, you must first understand how you feel about him and why he has sunk into your soul.

If a person did something bad to you, or hurt you, then you will involuntarily feel a sense of resentment. This feeling destroys a person; it is difficult to live with this burden on the soul and needs to be gotten rid of. The first thing you should do to easily let go of your loved one is to forgive him , at first it will not be easy, but time heals, and in the near future it will become easier.
Very often, when people start dating, they attribute qualities to each other that they do not possess. Against this background, expectations begin to form that may not always be met. In such a situation, you fall in love and get used not to the person himself, but to the created image. There is no need to create illusions, you need to accept a person as he is, and everyone has shortcomings.
There are often people who are owners who believe: if it’s mine, then it’s mine. But people are not things that can only belong to one person, people belong to themselves, and have the right to do as they want. If a person decides to leave you, then he has the right to do so , accept his choice and continue to live for yourself .
Another reason why separation is difficult for a person is that he tries in every possible way to keep or return his loved one. In this situation, you do not open up to other people, meetings, you live in the past. Do not do this. There are several sayings about this: “You can’t be nice by force.” “If you endure it, you will fall in love.” Rave. Now, if, for example, you are forcibly offered something to do something that you do not want, or to eat something that you do not like, you will not love it even by force. Trying to keep someone by force will just make you look pathetic, become depressed, lose interest in life and finally waste valuable time . You should only get the person back if you are sure that he is also suffering from the breakup.
Thank your loved one for the happy moments you had. It is very important .

It is for these reasons that it is difficult to forget the feelings you had for a person, hopes for the future and the person himself. After going through a breakup, people gain an experience that will last a lifetime. Even if this experience is painful, you don’t need to look for blame in space or fate, you just need to stop getting attached to people and learn to build other relationships.

If you want to understand what is truly yours, let go of everything, and what is yours will remain with you

The magic of forgiveness

Any healer of the soul, be it a psychologist, priest or healer, knows that forgiveness has a certain magical power. It always involves internal work on oneself, sometimes requiring not one, but hundreds and even thousands of steps. If you say: “I have forgiven you,” but you still feel heaviness in your soul, it means you have not forgiven yet. Everyone who has managed to truly forgive feels a surge of strength, lightness and inspiration. You truly become freer because you have removed a significant block in the path of your life currents. And here it is important to understand: forgiveness is an act of mercy towards oneself, and not a favor and generosity towards offenders and enemies .

From the point of view of Gestalt psychologists, every situation that has not ended can take away a person’s energy. To forgive means to say goodbye, that is, to complete and let go of an unpleasant or painful episode. In other words, stop being a victim, put an end to it and regain your inner strength. There are many psychological techniques for forgiveness, but each person has his own path.

How to let a person go from your thoughts, heart: tips

To free consciousness, a person needs to let go of the past correctly. To do this, you should let the person go from your thoughts, but first you need to go through several stages:

The first and most important thing is emotions. You need to let them out, not keep them inside. You can get angry, cry, scream. This will be the first step to letting the person go from your thoughts;
Sincerely wish your ex happiness. Mentally say thank you to this person for everything, and move on with your life;
There is no need to look for the guilty, or delve into yourself, you just need to calm down;
Many girls, having gone through a breakup, decide to radically change their appearance: dye and cut their hair, change their wardrobe, and lifestyle. You can start going to the gym, this will give you self-confidence;
We need to delete the past, in the truest sense of the word. Change your number so as not to wait for a call from your ex, put it away or even throw away all the gifts, photos together and not get carried away with sad films; on the contrary, watch light films, comedies only with a good ending;
Write your desires in a notebook or on a piece of paper and start making them come true;
If you feel better when you eat cake or ice cream, eat it;
Start traveling. New experiences are the best way to let someone go.
Dream of true love with someone new.

If you let go of the past, you will get the future
. Learn to enjoy life and see happiness in the little things. If you follow all these steps, you will definitely feel better. The whole process may take some time, the sooner you start, the faster you will free yourself from this burden. A relationship should be a joy for both.

spring-cleaning

Many of us intuitively feel: when something is not going well in life, stagnation has set in or troubles have overcome us, it is worth thoroughly cleaning our home and throwing away all the trash. Followers of positive psychology believe that such general cleaning should be done not only in the house, but also in the soul. The famous writer of motivational books, Louise Hay, is sure that when something hurts, look for someone to forgive. For spring cleaning, it is useful to make a list of all the people who have met on your path, starting from childhood. At the top of this list should be the people closest to you or those who hurt you the most. Try to forgive them gradually, step by step. By the way, do not forget that for complete happiness, you need to forgive not only others, but also yourself - after all, quite often we scold, punish or do not love ourselves for some misdeeds or mistakes. Forgive yourself and others, and life will become easier, life will become more fun!

How to let a person go: advice from a psychologist

When a person is unable to cope independently from thoughts, from the pain caused by a relationship, when he has reached a dead end, it is better to turn to a qualified psychologist. It is the psychologist who will be able to help.

You need to tell the specialist as much information as possible so that he can provide you with more complete assistance—help, not support. There is no need to hide anything from him, be open with him. It is very important to go through all the stages of breaking up a relationship with a person so that in the future your emotions do not get the better of you.

Attachment is negative energy

Psychologist's advice:

Most often, psychologists advise starting to devote more time to loved ones and relatives, because your loved one took up most of your time, and there was no time left for others. Go visit your relatives, spend the weekend with them, go out of town.
Invite your girlfriend to the cinema, sit with her in a cafe, spend time and money on shopping, go to an amusement park and ride a carousel, you need new emotions, a complete reboot. The next important advice that psychologists give is to find a hobby, a new hobby, maybe even open a business, become a volunteer or care for homeless pets, help orphans. Psychologists say that feelings of resentment will crowd out true love for a cause or others.
Meditation. This method of psychotherapy is one of the most common ways to clear your mind of everything unnecessary, because after a breakup, a person, and mostly girls, begin to think that they will never be able to truly love again, because they are afraid to experience pain again, a feeling of loss , inseparability. But without love, life becomes gray and not very interesting.
There is no need to engage in self-flagellation, you need to start therapy with the help of meditation, the methods of which we will discuss in more detail a little below. Based on all the advice, in conclusion, psychologists advise finding harmony. In order to protect yourself in the future from relationships that destroy your life, you need to learn to live in harmony with yourself. You can meet a real, worthy person only if you accept and love yourself.

Only by loving yourself will you find harmony

Understand the motives

Even in ordinary controversial relationships, it is difficult for us to imagine ourselves on the other side of the barricades in order to understand someone else’s position. But what about situations in which emotions were hurt, you felt insulted, offended, or for a long time you experienced the unworthy behavior of someone close to you? However, here too you need to be able to abstract yourself from emotions, at least for a while, and try to find the motives of the offender. It often turns out that he is guided by weaknesses, not strength. Let's say that parents who suppress their own children, in most cases, were themselves deprived of love and a happy childhood. A husband who raises his hand against his wife may subconsciously be afraid of women. The father turns away from the “disobedient” son, who did not live up to expectations (became a musician, not a pilot), in the depths of his soul he hoped that the child would realize the dreams that he himself could not fulfill. Realizing the motives of other people, you stop seeing yourself only as a victim: he did this to me because he doesn’t love me, I’m not needed, I’m not valued... The emphasis shifts from your own feelings to the inner world of another person, you begin to see his imperfection, weaknesses and troubles. This also helps not to hold a grudge and let go of grievances.

How to let a person go: rules of meditation, exercises

There are two effective ways of meditation, let's look at them. The first method is aimed at yourself:

First you need to find a quiet, secluded place so that no one can disturb you.
Take a comfortable position and dim the lights. Psychologists advise using scented candles with soothing scents, such as orange, cedar, lavender, ylang-ylang, bergamot, mint, incense.
Close your eyes and concentrate. Focus on your breathing, it should be rhythmic, inhale and exhale, and inhale and exhale again. This breathing exercise will be pleasant for your body.
Your thoughts will most likely distract you. This is normal. But still try to concentrate and feel yourself. You must find in which part of the body the feeling is hidden - love. When you find it, radiate warmth from there and try to give it to a loved one or animal.
Having completed all the steps correctly, you will feel warmth in the part of the body in which you found love. You will want to do something good for the person or animal to whom you have directed the light of your love.

The best remedy for resentment is forgiveness.
The second method is aimed at breaking the connection between people.

Sit comfortably in a quiet place, calm down and concentrate.
Closing your eyes, imagine that you are at the top of the mountain, and your offender is at the foot.
Concentrate on it, imagine it in front of you in flesh, down to the smallest detail.
Try to feel everything you feel for him.
Feel what connects you, a thin thread or a thick rope, what part of the body this thread connects.
Try to analyze what this person lacks, like character traits, core, courage.
Imagine another person in front of you who has all the qualities. How did you feel? Joy? Warm? You felt pleasant and cozy.
Stay focused, lift your head up and look at the sky. Turn to the Lord with a request to give you a person with those qualities that the previous person did not possess.
Ask someone like this stranger who made you smile in your subconscious.
Then look at the man at the foot of the mountain, he no longer seems to you like God, whom you exalted above everyone, he is now just a gray mouse.
If you want, you can talk to him, he gave you any experience. You can ask him for forgiveness, even if he himself is to blame, and forgive him.
Now you will feel the connection between you breaking, cut it or cut it with scissors, exhale, now you are free.

Do this exercise every day, and then you will feel that love has crowded out resentment from your heart and thoughts. No matter how much we love a person, sometimes there are times when we need to let him go. There is no need to resist it, do not be afraid of the new. It's better to just let it go.

Why forgive?

The first step you need to take is to want to forgive . Motives can be different: for the sake of one’s own health, freedom and spiritual harmony. Or to stop suffering, let go of old connections and open the door to new love. Or perhaps you want to reconcile and give the relationship another chance. It is important to realize why you are ready to forgive.

An essential motive is that by forgiving, we cleanse ourselves not only mentally, but also physically . In order to understand this, conduct the following experiment: imagine your offender and the situation that caused your indignation, worry or pain. Record your bodily sensations: you will probably feel how your heartbeat has changed, or it has become difficult to breathe, or the blood has rushed to your face. Perhaps you wanted to shrink, shrink, or something went cold inside. If you think about revenge , your nervous system will shake even more. Now tell the imaginary offender: “May you feel good...” If you feel that it has become easier, then you have taken the first step towards liberation. Someone will say: this is unrealistic, how can you wish good for, say, a rapist or murderer? What to do if anger torments your soul, and the pain cannot be expressed in words? Remember that this phrase works like a boomerang - you wish “good” first of all for yourself. And you need to repeat it until it becomes easier.