“At my house everything is different, they don’t sell this kind of cottage cheese here, and they don’t sell cottage cheese at all here, it’s so noisy everywhere, but my friends would understand the joke” - you’ve probably often compared your home with a place far away from it and got bored.
This is a normal reaction, especially if this is your first trip without your parents. But even if you are already an avid traveler and have traveled to different continents, homesickness can overcome you too.
Just don't be ashamed of it. This is your home and it is quite logical that you will miss it at certain points during your trip.
Longing for home, parents and nostalgia for one’s homeland are deep feelings that many authors wrote about in completely different periods. Homesickness is a great thing, but it can prevent you from enjoying your study abroad experience.
We share the most practical advice on what to do if you miss home and how not to fall into melancholy.
The busier you are, the less time you have to think.
Celebrate your first anniversary
Homesickness is like breaking up with a loved one. First you need to get over it, eat ice cream, feel sorry for yourself for a few days, but then you need to move on. And this is where a hitch arises, because it is very difficult to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
What will you say if we propose to deceive the system? This is pure psychology! If we treat some moment in life as a tragedy, our brain will automatically rearrange our emotional and psychological state to suit these parameters.
What happens if we change our tune? Try making a holiday out of it. For example, “Day of Longing”, which you will devote to your usual things: native music, national cinema and food. Only for 24 hours!
After that, immediately go and get to know the new city. Stop sitting at home! Down with nostalgia for home!
Learn to say: “No”
A typical mistake of those who have just moved to a new city is to agree to any social offers when you have no one to go with or nowhere to go on your own. It seems logical to go out to make friends in a new city. But this does not mean that you need to agree to any offers, especially if you don’t like them.
For example, movie or theater goers should not agree to go to a noisy club or party if they do not feel in the mood for that type of fun. Social life should not put pressure, it should help you relax in pleasant company.
I considered my role in “Friends” to be my curse: Jennifer Aniston's revelations
“Food is my friend, not the enemy of my figure”: pregnancy changed my attitude towards food
The house looks like a huge concrete box: in fact it is spacious and bright
In order not to feel locked within four walls, you need to choose suitable activities. It's easier to find new friends in places that you like.
Beat the melancholy!
When your brain has nothing to do, it looks for ways to keep itself busy. What does he immediately start thinking about? Of course, about the house. And this is where the emotional component comes in.
To prevent this from happening, be active: participate in common activities, go on excursions, explore the city on your own, communicate with your roommates and classmates.
You can start keeping a journal to remember each day of your trip. Who knows, maybe you have a talent for blogging! Homesickness can be your inspiration!
A toxic partner made you believe that no one else would like you.
If you were emotionally abused, your partner may have undermined your self-esteem to the point that you began to believe that no one else would find you desirable or attractive. If you have a low opinion of yourself, you are bound to give in to the idea that you will be alone if you lose your partner.
A broken nail is no problem: tips for treating nails at home
Seven daily habits of happy people
When toothpaste is harmful to children: permissible age doses
You need to remind yourself that you are good enough, worthy of love, and the cruel things your ex-partner said only reflect his negative essence, and do not in any way characterize your appearance or character. People who resort to violence undermine their victims' self-esteem because it allows them to control them.
Meet new people
The people you meet can play an important role in your life. It's always easy when you're at school or traveling in a group. You know these people and can easily get in touch with them. But you never know what a relationship outside of your comfort zone can lead to.
Such encounters include your temporary travel companions, roommates you didn't know before, or the family you'll be living with. To learn something new and meet interesting people, get out of your comfort zone!
And by the way, homesickness can be a great way to bond with fellow travelers like you - just share your feelings and you'll see people warmly respond.
Login to the site
Writer Paul Hudson breaks stereotypes to smithereens and puts everything into perspective about “missing” someone! Are people even capable of being bored? Or do we simply lack memories of certain people? Perhaps we miss the feelings we felt when we were close to a specific person? Let's try to figure this issue out together now.
You may think that missing someone and missing the memories of someone are the same thing, but in reality, this is far from the case. To be honest, we are almost incapable of loving someone for who they really are. Yes, and miss this particular person, perhaps, too.
In fact, we love and value people not as they are, but as we can imagine them to be - which, in turn, depends on how well we know them. And although such an explanation cannot reassure us, it still gives food for thought to our mind: “why are our emotions, and especially the feeling of love, sometimes so changeable”?
People are bound to have their own conclusions after communicating with other people. It is in our nature, and we are unlikely to ever be able to change it. And when making conclusions about another person, we thereby create in our mind a set of ideas about this person. And as our relationship with him develops, we gradually adjust these ideas at the right moment for us.
However, sometimes it happens that in specific life circumstances our ideas about this person have little in common with reality - and this often leads to the fact that, having achieved the attention of the object of our love, we soon grow cold towards him.
We stop loving a person whom we thought we knew inside and out, precisely because we are faced with reality, and not with our fantasy, and this is far from the same thing. People pass information about other people through the prism of their perception, which is why memories of a particular person can give us a distorted idea of him. And by “reviving” these memories, we introduce additional deformation into them. People are very, very complex individuals.
Sometimes our memories of a person capture him as he really is—or at least as he once was. But at heart we are all incorrigible romantics.
We prefer to remember the feelings we experience in the presence of this or that person, rather than remembering the events themselves.
We focus our attention on strong (and usually pleasant) emotions, allowing them to cloud our memory of that person.
But it also happens that we are not deceiving ourselves at all. Sometimes we really have every reason to miss someone. Unfortunately, the opposite is just as likely. It is very possible that what you are missing is not a specific person, but rather the ideal image of this person in your mind. This person could practically wipe his feet on you, but as soon as a couple of years pass, you will only remember the good things. This is a protective function of our memory.
You miss someone close to you, and this is quite understandable. People don't like being alone. Yes, some of us cope with it better than others, but only out of necessity, not out of choice. There are no people who choose loneliness voluntarily - unless, of course, they are mentally normal.
Yes, we all like to be alone from time to time - but only from time to time. Sooner or later we become too sad and lonely, and we begin to look for at least someone with whom we could share our lives. This is natural, and you should not be ashamed of it. But what we should be ashamed of is longing for people who treated us in a completely inappropriate way. Yes, on special occasions (for example, on a birthday) they could act incredibly nice to us, but there weren’t really that many of these special occasions. Because otherwise they wouldn't have to be called "special cases", right?!
So, if you're longing for someone who constantly hurt you because they didn't care about you, take a deep breath, take a step back, and try to look at things realistically, without leaving any resentment or fantasy in your soul. only concrete facts. You simply cannot afford to meekly endure all the antics of people who take advantage of you and treat you worse than you deserve. You just can’t - that’s all.
You only miss this person when you are alone. But there is actually a very simple way to see the difference between true love and everything else we mistake for it. And, if people feel like they are missing someone from the past, then most likely they are sad or lonely and nothing more, so let’s not complicate our lives and look for new reasons for joy!?!
In those moments when we want to lean on someone, but there is no one nearby, we inevitably look into our past. But this is not love. This is a convulsive grasping at straws in an attempt to stay on the roof. When we reach a bad point in our lives, we don’t want to be alone - because if someone is with us, it will be much easier to endure adversity. We are all human, and therefore we tend to strive to simplify our lives. But this is not true love. This is the loneliness that plays on our nerves. It is this that twists our imagination to the maximum, feeding our memories with false feelings, mostly consisting of a fairly edited reality.
If you only miss someone when your life is going down, don't kid yourself. In fact, you don't need this person at all. But on the other hand, if thoughts about him do not leave you even in the happiest moments - well, congratulations, this person is really worth missing. If at this moment, looking at yourself from the outside, you, first of all, think “Oh, if only I could share this moment with this person”... well, then there can be no doubt - you really love him. After all, it’s not even the person himself that you miss. You miss yourself - the way you were in the company of this person.
When we look back and remember those we once loved, the things we experienced together, and the memories we shared... we are actually remembering ourselves. The way we were when we were together.
People are extremely self-centered. This is our nature. And since we can’t do anything about it, it’s worth accepting it - at least for the purpose of better understanding ourselves. We don’t remember the person we once loved because it’s simply impossible. After all, we never deal directly with the people around us. We interact with our ideas about these people. And these ideas are extremely changeable. We are quite capable, having climbed into the depths of our own memory, to change the way we perceive the people around us, as well as the feelings that we experience towards them.
But be that as it may, the fact remains: those things and people that we consider most important are precisely those things and people who have had the greatest impact on us and our lives. But this is exactly what most people forget: We remember not the people themselves, but how they influenced us. Yes, we remember their actions that caused certain emotions, but in fact, we are almost always interested in the result (those emotions), and not in what caused it.
So it turns out that we miss not even the person himself, but the reality in which we were thanks to his presence. We miss how we felt and who we were when we were with these people. And not just like that - because those “us” we miss were much better than us now, because now we are lonely, but before this was not the case.
Of course, this could just be a feeling of nostalgia playing out, but be that as it may, this is exactly the reality in which we live - whether we like it or not. People are truly capable of loving the same person “until death do them part.” We are capable of yearning for him, and are quite capable of understanding what we lost when we parted. But not all the people we yearn for are really like that.
Much more often we waste our time, energy and emotions on people who do not deserve our attention. Learn to distinguish between real longing for a person without whom life is not sweet for you, from nostalgia for the old days - and your life will certainly change for the better.
Posted by Paul Hudson
If you don't go to the house, let the house come to you
This is not the most budget-friendly option for combating homesickness, but sometimes it can be used. If you feel like you can't be alone anymore, invite your friends or family to stay.
They may not live with you, but at least they will be in the same place as you, in the same time zone, on the same continent, and seeing the same things as you. And if you can host everyone at home, then longing for parents and friends will quickly be replaced by a good mood, and then a willingness to send everyone back as soon as possible.
Now you know all the secrets of how to deal with nostalgia for your homeland and homesickness.
Be honest about your feelings
Telling others that your calendar is full of interesting meetings and events is doing yourself a disservice. When asked what you are doing this weekend, it is better to answer: “Nothing in particular.” Of course, it’s difficult to answer like that at first. But it's better than pretending you have something to do. By answering honestly, you can help people around you get to know and understand you better.
New rules in the world of beauty: natural curly hair is trending
New iOS 14 app will completely change the way you use your iPhone
Without flour and yeast: I often make pizza from zucchini. They forgot about the classic
Being honest with yourself and others is important for improving your mental well-being. If you suffer from loneliness or feel lost, then there is no need to hide it from others. A heart-to-heart conversation can significantly improve the situation. Need to contact friends. Even if they live far away, you're just a phone call or text message away.
It's important to stay connected with people from your hometown. Communication with them will ease the feeling of loneliness. But you shouldn’t expect communication to improve on its own. You need to schedule video calls yourself and make contact.
