- August 29, 2018
- Psychology of conflict
- Alina Pogodina
Human relationships are a delicate and scrupulous process on which a lot depends. For example, how a person feels, how he communicates with people, and much more depends on this factor. Have you ever wondered why a person is evil? It is worth understanding the main reasons for his bad mood.
Why is the man angry?
Why do people become angry, and men in particular? There are many factors that cause a representative of the stronger half of humanity to become in a bad mood. It is worth highlighting several of the most common ones.
- Lack of female attention. A man is a living being controlled by hormones. When there is an excess of them, a person begins to constantly experience a feeling of apathy, he becomes prone to depression and sudden mood swings.
- It is common for a man to work hard, because it is inherent in nature that he is the breadwinner in the family. But due to physical stress and fatigue, a man may begin to break down and look at the world around him negatively.
- Diffidence. By nature, a man must be a leader and achieve success in life. But his desires do not always coincide with reality. Accordingly, the man experiences a feeling of inferiority, which is why he becomes aggressive.
First you need to find out why the person is evil. Next, based on the reason for his anger, you need to try to resolve this problem. Accordingly, if he lacks attention, then you need to introduce him to a nice girl. If he is tired, he needs to take a day off and devote it to proper sleep and rest. If he experiences self-doubt, it is recommended to attend courses to improve self-esteem.
Is it worth fighting childhood shyness?
If a child is not confident in his abilities and worries that he will not be able to cope with some task assigned to him, then he begins to withdraw into himself or use various tricks to relieve himself of responsibility and refuse to participate in this dubious undertaking from his point of view. . Does your child have to perform in front of a large audience and sing a song in the evening, but in the morning he declares that he has lost his voice or has a terrible sore throat? The symptoms of a psychosomatic illness are obvious, the causes of which not all parents will understand.
It is common for a child, like an adult, to experience a feeling of anxiety. To help the child cope with difficulties and protect him from many problems that may arise in adulthood, parents are obliged to read books on child psychology and monitor the emotional state of their child.
Getting sick from facing reality is one of the worst ways to evade responsibility. Children whose parents did not sound the alarm in time grow up and turn into angry or withdrawn individuals who do not know how to enjoy life, respect and love the living beings around them.
Why is a woman angry?
A woman is a more emotional living being. Therefore, there can be an unlimited number of reasons for her anger. Among them, the most common are the absence of a worthy man nearby, excess weight, lack of a good outfit and many other factors. It is worth noting that during the menstrual cycle a woman can behave quite strangely and react aggressively to literally everything.
Why do people become angry during marriage?
What is marriage? These are the very bonds that bind a man and a woman together. During marriage, you can notice how two people look at each other with loving eyes, hold hands and, it would seem, absolutely nothing can destroy their love. But several years pass, and this feeling is replaced by constant scandals and conflicts. Why are people so mean and cruel to each other? There are several reasons for this characteristic behavior:
- Jealousy and suspicion. If in a couple one person is constantly jealous of the other and suspects of committing a sin, while there is absolutely no reason for this, then the second spouse has a hard time. He gets tired of constantly hearing reproaches and feeling guilty for something he never did.
- Another reason why a person is evil is the dissimilarity of character. There are situations when a husband and wife live “on different wavelengths.” She talks about clothes, but he prefers car themes, which can also cause anger and irritability.
- Surprisingly, parents of spouses are often the cause of anger. They begin to interfere in the relationship, and the result of this behavior is aggression of one of the spouses.
- And, of course, another common reason why people are so angry is the financial side. As a rule, if a woman lacks material security, then in most cases she feels inferior and blames the man for his failure.
The only way to eliminate the cause of aggression is to have a heart-to-heart talk or visit a family psychologist. But, unfortunately, more and more couples do not seek to resolve the conflict and get divorced.
Miseducation
Often parents allow their children to do whatever they want. From these naughty kids, to whom everything is allowed, ill-mannered adults grow up. They are used to getting everything they want from life, so they choose this particular style of behavior. Ignorant people try to achieve everything through rudeness, scandals and hysterics. They constantly raise their voices and try to draw attention to their problem, involving everyone present. Unfortunately, we cannot re-educate them, so we are forced to simply ignore their demands, which are expressed in this way.
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Reason from childhood
Anger can be not only temporary, but also permanent. For a long time, experienced psychologists could not answer the question of why people are envious and angry. As we found out, in most cases, childhood trauma is to blame. Perhaps someone greatly offended the person in childhood or his closest friend betrayed him. It is worth noting that in large families it is often the older children who feel deprived. Parents give birth to a small baby, they pay more attention to it, while the older child feels uncomfortable. Anger and hatred begin to accumulate, and as a result, a person looks at the world with completely different eyes.
The solution to this problem is quite simple - a person just needs attention and care. You need to appreciate and respect him, then your attitude towards others will become completely different.
Psychology of feeling
When a person becomes angry, special neurons located in the hypothalamus are activated. Anger acts as a defense mechanism. By the appearance of this feeling, we can judge the presence of a problem that is present at a given moment in time.
Often people engage in self-deception and ignore the negative reactions that arise in their minds.
As a result, the unpleasant feeling is suppressed, but does not disappear.
It remains deep inside and weakens the internal resources of the individual .
For this reason, it is so important to objectively assess such an emotional state, try to find a rational explanation for it, and take measures to resolve the situation.
Anger arises for several reasons:
- Reaction to insult. When other people insult us with their words or actions, a natural reaction occurs.
In this case, it does not matter what specific offense was inflicted. This could be ridicule of appearance, insulting a loved one, refutation of feelings and events that are significant to a person, etc. - Frustrated expectations. Often people perceive reality incorrectly. This leads to disappointed expectations. Thus, a girl can marry a young man, feeling confident in his ability to provide her with material wealth. When in the process of family life it turns out that the newly-made husband does not meet the expectations of his wife, the latter begins to show negativity. In such cases, the object to which the emotion is directed is not to blame for anything. The man has deluded himself.
- Irritation due to the situation. We can be angry simply because circumstances are not in our favor. For example, being late for the last bus, bad weather on holidays, an unexpected business trip, a child’s illness, lack of money, car breakdown, etc. The ability to restrain negative thoughts and not give in to a bad mood is a useful skill in such situations.
- Inability to satisfy a need. A person may experience a biological, material, or spiritual need. Not getting what you want causes dissatisfaction. Thus, people often cannot satisfy the biological need for food or sleep in a timely manner. Severe lack of sleep or hunger are quite serious reasons for feeling irritated.
- Receiving psychological trauma . The trauma suffered negatively affects consciousness. Thus, a person may lose a close relative, spouse or child as a result of illness or accident. Such a loss causes serious psychological trauma and often becomes the cause of anger at circumstances, at chance, at other people, etc.
Anger can be short-term or long-term. In the first case, the negative emotion experienced is reflected in the action performed, the phrase spoken, etc.
As soon as a person gives release to the thoughts that torment him, he immediately returns to a normal state.
Long-term anger builds up over a long period of time. Such a prolonged emotion can negatively affect the personality, lifestyle and relationships with others.
This feeling is not always destructive .
In certain situations, it can be a powerful incentive to make important changes in your life.
Anger at oneself is the most productive.
Not all people are able to recognize the fact that all events that happen to them are the result of their own thoughts and actions.
The ability to objectively assess your shortcomings helps you learn to control your life and work on your own personality. It is anger that becomes a powerful engine , thanks to which a person completely changes the reality around him.
Elementary envy
Another reason why people became evil and cruel is elementary envy. Because of this, people began to betray and stopped being happy for each other. And such a concept as strong friendship has long been forgotten. One person begins to look enviously at another. He notices who has a better spouse, better-behaved children, good wealth and a prestigious job. Accordingly, because of this, envy and bitterness towards oneself and others appears. A person may wonder why he is not as lucky as his work colleague or his neighbor in the stairwell.
There are two options for how to deal with this problem. The first way out is to improve your well-being in order to be on par with the object of envy and live in similar conditions. The second solution is to change your social circle to one that is more suitable, so that there is no reason for envy. For example, a single mom needs to communicate with a girl who is divorced, and not with one who has a happy and caring husband. The same applies to your financial condition - you shouldn’t look for rich friends.
Lack of favorite activities and goals in life
Why do people become angry and cruel? Most likely, there is no activity in their life that could bring moral pleasure. Accordingly, they are forced not to live, but simply to exist. The life of such a person looks something like this.
In the morning he wakes up, opens his eyes and is no longer happy. He’s not happy because he has to go to a job he doesn’t like, he’s not happy that he’ll have to do something he doesn’t like and communicate with unpleasant people. Walking home from work, he will also be unhappy, because he will have a boring evening, because he has nothing that would bring him pleasure.
What to do in such a situation? Of course, look for an activity that brings pleasure. Perhaps it’s handicrafts or a sports section. It is also recommended to write a plan of your goals for the near future, for example, increase your income to a certain point, get a driver’s license, do the splits, or find a good young man. Accordingly, the individual will have a goal that will occupy his thoughts, and an interest in life will appear.
Poor self awareness
People with poor self-awareness may not always notice the changes sent by those around them. For example, if something they say upsets you, they may simply not notice. These people are not trying to look disrespectful, they simply do not know how to behave in such a situation. They need to explain everything in detail (say what exactly upsets and offends you in this conversation), since not everyone will be able to read your thoughts. If you do this once (and even more so several times), without getting offended or reacting with aggression, then the person will definitely behave differently (at least with you). Try it, you will definitely succeed.
How to communicate with an angry person?
Most likely, there is a person in everyone's life who is always angry. How to communicate with him? Communication should be built on several simple principles:
- It is not recommended to respond to aggression with aggression. The only thing that can be achieved in this case is to aggravate the conflict situation.
- If a loved one is always in a bad mood, then you should offer him help. First of all, it is necessary to find out what happened in his life, which is why he behaves this way. After this, you need to try to solve the problem together.
Surprisingly, sometimes a simple conversation is enough to make a person feel better. He will speak out, relax, and his mood will noticeably improve. But if a person resists conversation, you should not insist; it is better to leave the interlocutor alone, alone with his thoughts.
Heightened self-esteem
Some people consider themselves superior to others. They treat others as service personnel or simply individuals unworthy of their level. Such people constantly demonstrate their superiority and express this through raised voices or rudeness. Unfortunately, nothing can be done about this either. It is very difficult for a person who cannot objectively evaluate himself to prove the rules of good manners. Therefore, you should treat them with indifference or simply ignore them.
When is a doctor needed?
Much has already been said above about why a person is evil. As it turned out, many factors can influence his mood. But there are certain behaviors when you need to seek help from a doctor. These include sudden mood swings and excessive aggressive behavior. You should also be wary if a person himself ceases to control his emotions and behaves extremely rudely with others. Another reason to visit a doctor is assault. A psychotherapist or family psychologist will study the patient’s problem and provide him with practical assistance.
