From the article you will learn ways that will help you change your life and yourself in particular for the better.
Do you often get bored when you are alone with yourself? If the answer is yes, then most likely you are simply not interested in yourself. Not everyone knows how to arouse interest in their own “I” and become an unusual person for themselves. The answer of psychologists is to engage in self-development and knowledge of one’s personality. After all, the world and other people accept a person only if he accepts himself.
Self-development
If a person is thinking about how to become an interesting person to others, then there is a high probability that he is not very versatile. This is true? Then you need to start actively working on yourself. In self-development, the main point is to concentrate on your goals and desires, as well as constantly acquiring new knowledge to achieve them.
This process is impossible without self-knowledge, which implies the study of one’s personal characteristics (both physical and mental). It is very important for each person to comprehend himself, and then to establish himself in those areas of life that are most significant to him. And the more there are, the better. Everything is simple here. The more spheres of manifestation of his personality a person has, the wider his horizons will become, the richer his inner world, the richer his knowledge base. Personality is like a painting. The more details it contains, the more interesting it is to study it.
Popular problem
If a person is worried about how to become an interesting person to others, most likely he simply does not know how to communicate. Lack of communication skills manifests itself in different ways. Some talk about something completely ordinary, uninteresting or banal. Others do not pay attention to the interlocutor, not allowing them to get a word in. Some simply don’t know what to say, and therefore all their speeches are inappropriate. The rest know neither moderation nor tact, and constantly strive to “get into” the dialogue.
And these are not all examples. But the solution for all cases is the same: you need to learn to communicate.
Obstacles to conversation
Shyness
One of the most difficult problems on the way to communication. Shy people close themselves off from others. Why? Perhaps they were brought up in families in which they did not particularly communicate with each other, but, on the contrary, were separated from others.
Diffidence
Many people may spend years feeling afraid of looking stupid or being criticized. Therefore, they find it much easier to avoid talking to others.
Inferiority complex
This is the case when a person does not mind communicating, but considers himself an “incapable loser,” so he prefers to suffer in silence.
There is another side to the coin: many people feel free to communicate, but when someone else is speaking, they tend to interrupt, thereby depriving their interlocutors of the joy of intimate communication.
How to overcome these difficulties and learn to talk with others in an interesting and warm way?
Competent dialogue
Well, how to become an interesting person to others? You need to learn to talk to them! It's not that difficult, just remember a few rules and follow them.
First, you need to be genuinely interested in others. People are more willing to communicate with those who show interest in them. And in most cases they show it in response, giving the interlocutor the opportunity to open up.
Secondly, don't be shy to smile. But only sincerely, not falsely! A kind smile attracts the interlocutor to you. In addition, she shows him that communicating with him brings pleasure and joy.
Thirdly, you must call your opponent by name. It would seem like a simple and ordinary thing. But many have long ago replaced their names with “you”. And in vain. After all, a name expresses individuality.
Also, if a person is interested in how to be interesting to people, he should learn to listen. Showing attention is a powerful tool of influence. During your opponent’s monologue, you should not neglect questions, clarifications, or manifestations of emotions. This demonstrates caring. Today a person listened to his interlocutor, and tomorrow he will pay attention to him.
How to be interesting to a man?
Some women believe that in order to remain always desirable and interesting to a man, you need to be the way he wants to see her. But this is a mistake. Representatives of the stronger sex are only interested in a woman who is interesting to themselves.
If a girl is only focused on attracting a man to her, he will definitely feel it and lose interest. You need to look for the path to yourself, and not to another person.
Keep men interested
Advice from family psychologists will help you always be interesting to a man:
- Don't agree with a man on everything. Only a woman who has her own judgment and views is interesting.
- Don't call him too often when he's at work. Your calls should be short and to the point only. There is no need to bombard a person with love messages. He will quickly get bored with this.
- Assert your independence. You must have some kind of hobby that remains only yours and not shared. Let your partner get used to the fact that once a week you go somewhere without him on a regular basis - coffee with girlfriends, fitness, painting lessons. Of course, this will annoy the man. He will try to tie you to him. But do not give in to persuasion and blackmail on his part. Believe me, no matter what men say, they are interested in independent women. Because what attracts people is not so much beauty as individuality and self-respect. However, do not limit the freedom of your half yourself. Don't ask him to give up hobbies and meetings with friends.
Get a man interested
- Make changes to your appearance periodically. A man should not get used to you, otherwise he will get bored very quickly. Give him little shocks. If you don’t dare radically change your appearance, add variety to your wardrobe - an unusual bag, shiny shoes, bright prints.
- Study your body. You should know what kind of caresses are pleasant to you and what causes rejection. And don't be afraid to tell your partner about it. You can't just worry about satisfying him. A normal man always wants to please his woman.
- Love sex and don't be shy about your own sexuality. After all, this is a healthy need for the body. Don't be a prude in bed. Try new poses and techniques. Sudden sex is also an effective way to keep your spouse interested in you.
- Be a little unpredictable. Don't give your partner the opportunity to always predict your behavior and reaction. Sometimes behave differently in similar situations. However, don't overdo it. Men are afraid of too eccentric women.
- Know yourself. When a woman knows what she likes and what she doesn't, she begins to have more respect for herself.
- Engage in self-development. At the same time, it is important to understand that when you learn something new, you do it not for someone else, but first of all for yourself. Don’t just attend courses or read educational literature, but also apply the acquired knowledge in practice.
Develop value for yourself and men
When a woman is valuable to herself, she becomes valuable to a man. If there is a bright world inside you, then a man will definitely want to get there, and you will always be interesting to him.
Bringing out your best qualities
How to become an interesting person? There are all kinds of advice, but most recommendations say: you need to be careful and notice every little detail. There is something to talk about with any person, the main thing is to find a topic whose source is the interlocutor himself. You just need to take a closer look at it. Did you notice a few hairs on his T-shirt? Then it’s worth casually asking if your interlocutor has a cat. He will immediately become interested in the interlocutor - he will at least be intrigued by the person’s observation skills. And then the topic can be developed. This is where education and reading are needed. People who know a lot are able to easily and imperceptibly move from one topic to another and reason in such a way that it will not be boring. Dialogue with them rarely reaches a dead end. But even if everything has already been discussed, they have a trump card. And these are questions. The kind that can spark a new round of dialogue.
It is enough just to ask what else, in addition to what was agreed, the interlocutor is interested in, or what he would like to do. Even without keeping questions in mind, you can always get your bearings. The question should only show the interlocutor its significance. Few people don't like to talk about themselves. The main thing is to be sincerely interested in them.
Try to live an interesting life
Whatever one may say, you won’t tell your interlocutors anything interesting if your whole life consists only of going to work and cooking. Try to ensure that you have a lot of free time. And spend it wisely! Here are just a few examples of good leisure time that you can then talk to someone about:
- Visiting the cinema - we recommend going to some atypical film that your friends may never see;
- An outing into nature - you don’t have to travel to cook barbecue, you can just ride a bike outside the city;
- Walk around the city - visit places you have never been before;
- Reading a book will also help you choose a topic for conversation;
- Traveling to another city or country - try not to spend your entire vacation at home.
- Try to alternate between interesting activities. If you go to a nightclub almost every evening, it will quickly become boring. However, there is a chance to meet an interesting girl (or boy). But try to visit completely different places in the future with your partner.
Personal opinion
There is one more nuance that every person who cares about how to become more interesting should learn. Tips and recommendations are numerous, and most of them say: you need to remember your own opinion. A person who has a personal point of view regarding something is always of interest if his judgment is objective, justified and reasoned. A person who is able to clearly, competently and accessiblely explain to others his understanding of something, his desires and emotions, is a valuable interlocutor.
And here it is important, first of all, to be able to correctly express your thoughts. Opinions are often shared with people who have different ideas about certain things. Therefore, you need to construct an explanation in such a way that everyone understands the essence and feels the sensation experienced by the opponent.
But that is not all. It is also important not to be afraid to speak up. Some people prefer to remain silent or simply agree in convenient situations. But this quality does not distinguish a person. What makes a person more interesting and colorful is the ability to speak out, especially if he does it competently.
Universal topics for conversation
How to become easier in communication and be an interesting interlocutor? To do this you need to work hard. First, decide on topics that are close to you.
For example, animals. Almost everyone loves them. Even if you encounter someone who hates animals, you will have something to argue about. Start collecting interesting facts about animals, jokes and stories. This will help you come across as cheerful and stop being shy. Study the opinions of animal rights activists and their opponents. Watch discussion shows. They will help you understand how to become a good conversationalist.
It is important for you not to become a walking encyclopedia, periodically providing scattered information. To be interesting, you need to engage others in conversation. A sociable person always strives to involve others in a discussion. Therefore, the approach even to such a simple topic should be versatile. It can be viewed through the prism of psychology. For example, discuss a man who, feeling angry at his wife, secretly kicks her cat. Raise social problems, such as doghunting or grannies keeping dozens of half-starved cats, etc. You can present this topic with a humorous “sauce”. Only a variety of viewing angles will help you hold the attention of your interlocutors and become more talkative.
The topic of weather is considered a lifesaver in case the conversation has dried up and there is an awkward pause. However, some people get lost and don’t go beyond the phrase “the weather is nice today.” To prevent the conversation from fading in the first 2-3 statements, study the topic of natural phenomena. Remember the most amazing weather anomalies that have ever happened. Check global weather reports periodically. On Earth, hail, floods, and unprecedented heat regularly occur. You will have something to share with your interlocutor. By the way, you can study the weather on other planets. As soon as you develop your erudition, you will immediately feel how you become relaxed and easy to communicate.
Here's another example of how to develop sociability using a common topic. Health is a universal topic. You can talk with young people about healthy eating, vitamins and antivitamins, and with representatives of the older generation - about herbal medicine. Study the issue thoroughly. It is not enough to know that chamomile is brewed for coughs. Every coin has two sides. Herbs have benefits and contraindications. There are often cases when the ambulance did not have time to save people after taking harmless herbal teas. Study similar cases. Take an interest in newfangled diets, their downside, uncontrolled use of hormones and anabolic steroids. Tell us about it. However, be wary of becoming argumentative.
Positive
Cheerful people always make people feel good about themselves. This must be remembered if a person is interested in how to become an interesting person. With a good sense of humor, you definitely won’t have to go to hell. After all, this is a valuable human ability to find something comical in almost every situation.
Plus, it is the ability to joke (and at the right moment) that makes a person the soul of the company. Such people are cheerful and funny, they do not hesitate to appear funny, and it is also not difficult for them to defuse the situation with an appropriate anecdote or witticism.
How to develop this skill in yourself? You need to constantly practice, learn from famous comedians, joke at yourself and laugh at problems. And don’t stress too much. Usually only in a relaxed state does an appropriate joke come to mind. If a person sits in tension and actively thinks about what to say so witty, it usually doesn’t turn out very well.
The role of abilities and inclinations in the development of individuality
Many people wonder how to become unique, not like everyone else? To help find the answer to this question, you first need to understand what the development of uniqueness depends on.
Each personality is individual in its own way; this feature is determined to a large extent by inclinations and inclinations. Inclinations are anatomical and physiological traits of an individual; they are innate, given by nature to each of us. Inclinations can be called the basis for the development of human abilities.
Tendencies cannot be called innate. They are the result of personality development. People are born with inclinations, and if you see them in time and begin to develop them, then abilities for a certain type of activity appear. Tendencies depend on the person himself, his ability to reveal them fully.
Only the inclinations that underlie the development of abilities can be innate. © B.M.Teplov:
Researcher in the field of individual differences E. A. Golubeva identified three main levels of human abilities:
- psychophysiological;
- psychological;
- behavioral.
The psychophysiological level includes general abilities that are innate in nature (speed of action, strength, activity, etc.). Studying this level helps to measure the natural prerequisites for the development of originality.
At the psychological level, the distinctive features of an individual’s cognitive processes are studied: memory, perception, thinking, speech, etc. This includes a person’s temperament and motivation for activity. There are a huge number of methods for measuring such human properties, as well as their level of development.
The behavioral level involves a detailed study of a person’s successful performance over a clear period of time. This takes into account a person’s interpersonal relationships on the way to achieving a goal, ways to solve a problem, and the ability to stand out from the rest.
A comprehensive diagnosis of inclinations and inclinations is based on an in-depth analysis of many psychological and physiological characteristics, without which it is impossible to fully develop originality. Studying these signs will help you allow yourself to become unique.
Allowing yourself to become unique is very simple. The first step is to determine your inclinations. Try to rethink your skills, what you like to do most. Then you can very easily move forward in shaping your uniqueness. Inclinations need to be improved; without human effort, they will remain at the level of innateness without an attempt to develop.
Openness
How to become an interesting person? For men and women who want to appear more socially attractive, there is one more universal piece of advice. They should be more open, which is sometimes difficult for many.
Socially open people are sociable and sincere. They share their thoughts, feelings and experiences with others. They have no internal barrier that could prevent them from being with people as they are. They do not hide their inner world. And that's what makes them interesting. They can be compared to an open, interesting book that you want to read as quickly as possible. People are attracted to such personalities. After all, many of them would often like to become so open.
How to turn into such a person? Very simple. We need to get rid of masks, stereotypes and stop worrying about what others will say. Then the person will become not only more open, but also happier.
Types of change
Changes can be different: positive and negative, expected and unexpected, big and small, but all of them will help you realize how to radically change your life.
Our brain's attitude towards them also varies accordingly: positive expected changes will be greeted with joy and enthusiasm, while negative surprises can throw us off balance.
In order not to experience unnecessary stress when leaving your comfort zone, it is worth using the “there are positive aspects in everything” technique.
No matter what happens to you, try to find the positive side of events. Turn it into a game, an exciting competition with yourself, a test of your imagination, and gradually you will be able to change your life, guided by the habit of perceiving any change as a positive factor.