Many girls are familiar with the feeling of unrequited love when the object of adoration is close, but it does not imply such strong emotions directed in his direction. In such cases, guys are advised to be bolder and more assertive in order to interest the object. What should girls do? After all, in our country, it seems, it is not accepted when the weaker sex takes the initiative?
So, how to ask a guy to go out so that he agrees? And how to take the first step in a relationship without losing face?
Is this normal?
Asking a guy to go out first is a completely normal situation. Just don’t complicate everything from the first seconds of communication: you are not a couple yet, don’t plan a future together, don’t owe each other anything and are just going to have a good time if you agree. The standard situation is when a boy invites a girl, and then, in the process of communication, they see where it leads. When a girl invites a guy for a walk, nothing changes: if the date is successful, a couple will be formed; if not, it means it didn’t work out.
Where to invite a girl for a walk?
There are many interesting, unusual places where you can go with your partner. The first option is informal cafes (themed, with live music).
If a girl prefers classics, she should avoid noisy, smoky places. Choose a place with soft sofas, comfortable armchairs, and calm music.
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If the weather is good, they walk outside: in the square, park, on the embankments. You can take a tour of unusual places - ride a boat, show the panorama of the city from the mountain, look at the night area from the roof. If a girl is not afraid of active dates, they offer a bike ride.
The guy should have a backup plan if unforeseen circumstances arise or the weather changes.
Preparatory stage
How to invite a guy for a walk? You should start not with thinking about invitation options, but with collecting data. You need to find out as much as possible about your intended chosen one: favorite movies, games, pastimes, hobbies, etc. A good source of information about the subject will be his friends, who will be able to tell you a little more about him than what is written on his social networks.
You should try to at least superficially become familiar with the topics of his hobbies and learn to understand them. Ideally, there should be some common interests that both will like. An excellent step would be to get into his inner circle, as at least a good friend.
Reasons for refusal and further actions
No matter how self-confident and attractive a guy is, he can still get a lady’s refusal to go out with him. Before you meet her, you need to know why she refuses to go out. The reasons may be:
- lack of reciprocity;
- having another guy;
- her shyness or insecurity;
- employment;
- bad feeling.
Lack of mutual sympathy
When you ask a girl to go for a walk, you need to be prepared for refusal. Most often, young ladies refuse to go out with guys due to lack of sympathy for them. A young man may be unpleasant in appearance, rude, look sloppy, or have a different hair color than the chosen one likes. If a girl once gave her phone number to a man, it means that she did not understand at that moment what she felt for him. Perhaps the gentleman was too intrusive, so she told him the treasured numbers, just so that he would get rid of it.
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Another guy
Another common reason for refusing a meeting is the presence of a significant other. Someone will agree to date both of them in order to decide who to choose, which of them is more interesting, prettier, more caring, stronger. But if a refusal is received, perhaps the couple is serious. What to do if a girl doesn’t want to go out in this case is not to interfere in their relationship. It's better to invite another friend for a walk.
She is scared
Not only a man can be afraid, a lady can also sometimes be afraid to be near a gentleman. She's even more afraid. The girl is tormented by many thoughts: “What if he’s a maniac?”, “What if he starts pestering?”, “He’s strange,” “What should I talk to him about?” Sometimes a young lady is afraid to seem approachable if she agrees to go for a walk with a guy the first time.
You should be patient, she will get used to it if you chat with her on a social network longer so that she does not refuse. After this, you need to offer to go for a walk again. Let it be a morning jog or the way home after work, and not a trip to the park at dusk.
She's busy
If the girl has more important things to do, she will say that she is busy and offer to reschedule the meeting. He may not offer it, then the guy should set the day for the walk himself. Many ladies use this reason if they don’t like their gentleman and don’t want to date him. When a friend refuses to meet each time, under the guise of being busy, attempts should be stopped. Perhaps after some time she will decide to accept the offer.
For no apparent reason
If she refuses to go for a walk without giving reasons, this does not mean that there are none. Something forces her to refuse. Perhaps she doesn’t like the place the guy chose for a walk, or the weather. Maybe she has nothing to wear. This is a common reason in girls. She may be menstruating, so she feels uncomfortable.
Social media
The next stage is monitoring social networks and starting correspondence. In order to establish meaningful communication via the Internet, you need to avoid platitudes: “hello” and “how are you?” Such messages are answered rarely and without enthusiasm.
We need to come up with something more original and definitely personal. Standard phrase: “Have you had a hard day today too?” - also, in principle, a banal, but quite personal question, as a result of which a lively conversation can begin.
How to invite a guy to go out via text? The safest option for a shy girl is to find out about some street events and celebrations and ask her crush if he will go to them? If the answer is yes, you can ask if they will meet there. You definitely need to clarify what kind of company he will be in: it is one thing if he is with a couple of friends, and completely different if he is with a new passion.
More confident girls can afford to simply invite a guy for a chat - if he answers in the affirmative, then this is considered a full-fledged date.
Warnings
- Even if you asked a guy out on a date, that doesn't mean you have to do anything you don't want to do
. If something goes horribly wrong, get out of the situation immediately and don't worry about politeness, only about your safety.
A study by the University of Salamanca involving more than 1,500 respondents aged 16-86 years old proved that women need at least five to six meetings to finally decide whether to start a relationship with a partner, while men are more likely to fall prey to lightning sympathy. One out of five representatives of the stronger sex has experienced love at first sight at least once in their lives, and more than half have experienced love after the first date. What could make him lose his head here and now?
Disguise as a friend
The first way to invite a guy to go out is to disguise it as a friendly relationship. You can invite him to go to a movie or a concert as a friend, and use the argument that you don’t have a boyfriend and have absolutely no one to go with. This method works well for very shy young ladies, as well as in cases where the object of adoration is in a relationship. Then you can take a wait-and-see attitude and sometimes invite the guy to go for a “friendly” walk.
The disadvantage of this scheme is that it can continue for years without developing into a full-fledged love relationship.
How do men of different zodiac signs feel about the manifestation of female initiative?
Considering that people born under one or another zodiac sign have certain similar traits, they react to certain life situations more or less typically, predictably.
A Pisces man, for example, even if he has sympathy for a woman, due to natural indecisiveness, does not dare to ask her out for a long time, he thinks carefully, weighs all the pros and cons. Therefore, he will be grateful to the woman for the initiative and the first step. However, you need to be careful not to spoil your impression of yourself or scare him away.
The same can be said for Libra, Cancer, Virgo men - sometimes they lack determination, and an initiative coming from a woman will be received positively only if it is devoid of intrusiveness and haste.
Leo, Gemini, Taurus, Scorpio men, due to their activity and assertiveness, do not need the first step on the part of the girl - they will take it themselves immediately and with all determination. Aries tend to immediately try to clarify the situation, so you need to be prepared for the possibility that the question may follow: “Is this a friendly meeting, or do I mean a little more to you?”
The behavior of a Sagittarius may seem strange and ambiguous, and all because he, like no one else, needs an emotional response from his partner. So a representative of this sign will probably also react positively to the girl’s offer to spend leisure time together.
We ask for help
The next way to invite a guy to go out is to ask for help. Men want to show their best side, and they rarely refuse a girl, especially if it’s about some trifle.
First scheme. The young lady has some kind of unresolved situation, and she needs help, for example, in choosing a new phone or installing a simple program on a PC (here you should remember what exactly the object of your adoration is interested in, so that the request best suits its capabilities). The guy helps solve the problem, and in gratitude the girl invites him to a cafe, cinema or concert - depending on the situation and preferences.
The second scheme on how to invite a guy for a walk: you need to eliminate the first step when a man needs to do something. That is, you should ask for help in the following manner: “I have no one to go to a concert, to the cinema, etc.”
The disadvantage of both schemes is that the girl, as the initiator, bears all the costs of organizing the meeting.
Ideas for asking a guy out on a date
Not every girl will be able to approach a guy she likes and simply say point-blank: “Let’s go to a cafe this evening.” Such straightforwardness may work, but it is difficult to decide on such a thing.
We offer you options for inviting a guy on a first date:
It's like it's not a date at all. You can casually mention that you bought two movie tickets (not all men appreciate the theater), but your friend got sick. “Will you go with me?” - a simple and understandable question. Maybe the guy will agree because he has been interested in this film for a long time, and not in you. Yes, there is such a risk. But you will try! From the same area are invitations to a sale: “I have a discount coupon, let’s go, there are a lot of interesting things there” or to your own exhibition, fair in which you are participating (suitable for needlewomen and simply creative people). Inviting a friend to a wedding or birthday party is a little more difficult. Here it is already implied that you will come to visit as a couple, and a gift will be required from the guy.- Just say: “Oh, you talk about this so interestingly, I want to continue the conversation. Maybe in the evening in a cafe? The method is suitable if you really communicate well, a compliment is appropriate.
- Ask for help. Windows needs to be reinstalled on the computer, for example. Or move the buffet in the dining room. You never know what a lonely girl might need! It is clear that this is a trick. If a guy likes you too, he will take the opportunity to get closer. If not, well, if you helped, that’s good, but we’ll survive the failed date.
- Invite, but unobtrusively, giving a chance to tactfully refuse. For example, say to a colleague: “I’m so tired during the day, I want to go to the bar for a glass of wine, will you come with me?” Or to the neighbor next door: “Tomorrow morning I’m going for a run, maybe I’ll keep you company, you’re so athletic.” He will say no - well, let him take the next step himself, you have already tried.
Important
The ideal option is to captivate the guy and find a very interesting reason to go somewhere together. A concert of a fashion group, the arrival of a celebrity, a festival, mass celebrations, the opening of a new store “Everything for Fishing”, a trip to the skating rink or a driving lesson - focus on the interests of the man himself, adapt to them.
You can invite a man not only in person. For many it is easier to do this in the form of a message in a messenger or social network.
Let's speak frankly
The last way to ask a guy out is to be frank and just ask him out. The ideal way to immediately put everything in its place and get an honest answer from the object of your adoration.
From a male point of view, this option has a lot of advantages: some guys are embarrassed to invite the girl they like for months, and when she herself offers to meet, it’s just a gift for them. Just don’t need to assure the object of your unearthly love, this can scare away the chosen one. You just need to indicate your sympathy and offer to spend time together in order to find out whether you are suitable for each other or not.
What to do in case of refusal
For a woman’s pride, refusal is the worst thing that can happen, especially if the attempt to invite the man you like on a date was the result of much thought and mental tossing. However, it is worth understanding that this event is far from a tragedy, and you need to be grateful to the man for his honesty (if, for example, it turned out that he has a girlfriend, and this motivates his refusal). You need to try to control your emotions so as not to show your disappointment and dissatisfaction.
A good way out of this situation is to say a phrase with a sweet smile like: “You know, I offered only in a friendly way - I don’t invite men on dates first. But it’s okay, I respect your position, you’re great.”
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