Relationships between a man and a woman - women’s mistakes and how to avoid them

You're indecisive

At first, you didn’t dare call her for a whole week. Then, muttering something incomprehensible, you asked her out. After that, I spent a month racking my brains over whether you really needed all this or not.

I'll tell you this - shove all your inhibitions up your ass, because girls can sense them a mile away. Decide for yourself what you want, and when you decide, then act without putting anything off for later.

Even if you think that this girl is too tough for you, take a risk. Go up to her and talk to her. Perhaps she will send you away. But perhaps not. The point is, you'll never know for sure unless you take action.

Girls don't like slobs. And if you don’t initially show her that fear and indecision are not about you at all, then forget about the relationship in principle. And about sex too.

Rules for building relationships

There are no special stereotypes or specific algorithm of actions. Each couple is individual, all partners are different. However, there are foundations on which the relationship rests. If you adhere to certain principles, you can bring your romance to marriage, and then live a long, happy life.

Respect

Love keeps partners together, and respect makes the union productive. This quality is formed in girls from an early age through the example of their own family. A grown-up daughter will treat her beloved man in the same way as a mother treats her father. There is either respect for the stronger sex or there is not. This quality means:

• take into account the partner’s opinion;
• do not close your mouth, let them speak;
• welcome initiative if it leads to improved relations;
• support in your endeavors even in difficult times;
• balance your own desires with the aspirations of a man.

Respect does not mean adapting, losing your own “I”. This is the ability to compromise, to accept a partner as an individual.

Showing you care

Starting a relationship with a guy can be easy if you show proper care. Men expect from women not only love affection, but also support, understanding, and a caring attitude. But every guy has his own understanding of this quality. It is formed from childhood by the example of the family. If mom takes care of dad, the son will expect the same attitude from his beloved. Before the appearance of the chosen one, his mother looked after the guy: she washed things, cooked, treated him when he got sick, supported him morally and physically. These responsibilities automatically fall on the shoulders of the beloved.

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What you need to do to keep a man:

• cook deliciously;
• look after the table;
• clean the house;
• wash and iron clothes;
• treat;
• calm down when it’s bad;
• show affection, tenderness, patience.

Male psychology is such that representatives of the stronger sex do not leave women with whom they are physically and emotionally comfortable. The happier and more prosperous the guy’s family was, the higher the requirements for the chosen one.

Confidence

Without trust, it is impossible to build long-lasting relationships and a happy union. Gone are the days when a girl's goal was to exert strict control over a man. In the era of democracy, relationships are built on a voluntary basis. If a guy is comfortable with a girl, then he has warm feelings for her and sincerely loves her, he will never cheat or betray her. Trust is a sign of a strong union, strong love and devotion.

Men are freedom-loving, independent individuals. They make decisions, make plans, calculate their own strength. Guys don't need advice, tips, and especially control. Moreover, they don’t like girls who follow their heels everywhere and don’t let them breathe freely. They also don’t like overly jealous young ladies who start scandals out of the blue. They are attracted and intrigued by calm, confident girls who are not afraid of losing a man, but make sure that the chosen one fears this.

If you can’t build trusting relationships, you should think about their feasibility. The constant intensity of passions, nervousness, and uncertainty about the future are destructive. Sooner or later there will be a separation or divorce.

Distribution of duties

When the romance of the first meetings ends and the partners begin to live together, responsibilities are distributed. The standard relationship is as follows:

1. A woman keeps order in the house, cleanliness of clothes, and is responsible for preparing food.
2. A man earns money, provides for his girlfriend and family.

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However, in the modern world, not everything is so simple. Men refuse to provide for women, and girls do not want to tinker at the stove or walk around the house with a mop. In this case, a clear distribution of responsibilities is required in order to know who will do what to ensure family well-being.

Perhaps the girl will go to work, earn money, the guy will keep order in the house. It is unacceptable for a woman to take on all the household responsibilities, raise children, and earn money, while the man simply goes to work.

For a relationship to be a joy and not a burden, it requires not only the desire to be together, but also the ability to correctly distribute responsibilities so that everyone understands what is required of them.

Honesty

A person cannot feel calm and comfortable if he constantly has to get out and look for new “truthful versions”. Lies destroy relationships at any stage of their construction. Honesty and openness help to avoid conflict situations and misunderstandings. It is recommended to openly express your dissatisfaction. Frank conversation saves relationships.

Unbridled jealousy.

Being jealous of someone at the age of 17 and having Italian passions - then it seemed romantic to you.

But when an adult, self-sufficient man throws hysterics and creates scenes of jealousy by checking her mobile phone, it smacks of some kind of infantilism and lack of self-confidence.

Of course, any woman enjoys being jealous. But there must be a measure and a limit in everything. When you become paranoid, follow her on social networks, check your contact list and browsing history on your laptop, then you evoke nothing but pity.

Just sit there and feel sorry for yourself while she's with someone who doesn't look like a little hysterical girl.

Wise thoughts and advice about relationships

Many famous personalities have spoken out on the topic of love relationships. Some of them are worth thinking about.

⦁ “A man brings prosperity, activity, protection to the family, and a woman brings mood and a warm atmosphere.” Osho The phrase defines the responsibilities of partners in relationships and makes it clear to men what women want from them.

⦁ Love is an amazing counterfeiter, constantly turning not only coppers into gold, but often gold into coppers. O. Balzac At the beginning of communication, partners admire each other, but as they age, they cease to notice the good deeds of their lover.

⦁ “You can seduce a man who has a wife, you can seduce a man who has a mistress, but you cannot seduce a man who has a beloved woman”! Omar Khayyam A wife should be a close friend, an ideal lover and a beloved woman for a man. Then he will never look at another girl.

⦁ “First, learn to love yourself, your environment, love life, and then look for a man.” Coco Chanel Phrases became great for a reason. They contain experience and truth.

Whining and complaining.

This is the most disgusting thing that can happen. Either there is a crisis, then everyone is an asshole, then no one appreciates me and blah blah blah. Shut up, you are a man and you are the one who solves issues and problems.

If you can’t do this, change your gender and become a girl. Yes, you can share some experiences with her, but you should do it so rarely that it doesn’t even occur to her that you are a disgusting whiner.

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There is no need to blame everyone for your failures; the crisis happened not only to you. And while others use it as a basis for new beginnings, you sit and whine that the dollar has grown by another 10 kopecks. Are you serious now?!

Why men come back after a breakup: the psychology of boomerang love

According to statistics, 99% of women and men have been in the bitter and traumatic situation of being abandoned and made mistakes in relationships. The same psychological statistics indicate that men are much more likely to return to their significant other after a breakup. Why is this happening? Experts put forward several reasons for this. Here are the most common ones:

After the breakup, did the train leave?

1. “I was truly happy with you.” In a long-term relationship between a man and a woman, the stronger half, being naturally less responsible, quickly becomes fed up with the monotony of everyday life, becomes disillusioned with faded feelings and leaves the woman, considering this union a mistake. Often, after several unsuccessful experiments, a man realizes that he has hastened to conclusions and returns.

1. “A good woman is like a glass of good wine, and I will not allow anyone to drink from my glass.” It may seem strange, but feelings of possessiveness and competition can provoke a man to return. This is the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman. Seeing that a rival is trying to take his place, the man immediately flares up with a new passion for the left half.

1. “He is a professional boomerang and experimenter.” In this case, the man leaves and returns again and again, often ruining the woman's life with these multiple breaks. So he tries to psychologically suppress her, gain complete power over her, without caring about her experiences. It is better for a woman who finds herself in such a situation to listen to wise thoughts about the relationship between a man and a woman and step aside from such a “boomerang”, or turn to a specialist.

You are not interested in her affairs and her life.

You think that in order to discuss all sorts of bullshit, she has friends with whom she can talk on the phone for three hours straight. She builds a relationship with you, but complains, discusses problems and shares her experiences with someone else.

It is very important for any woman to understand that her boyfriend takes an active part in her life, is interested in her affairs, and helps solve minor problems. Then she feels needed and desired.

Nobody tells you to stupidly shift all responsibility onto yourself and live its life. But at least try to pretend that you are really interested in knowing what is going on with her.

Don't be a selfish idiot who always talks about himself, otherwise one day you will get a response from her, and then you may not count on anything anymore.

Psychology of relationships in couples: system-vector approach

Now, if the relationship between partners does not work out, a woman or a man is not able to maintain it, then you can turn to a psychologist for help. The mechanism of relationships, like any other, can break down, and then repairs are necessary.

In their work, specialists often use a system-vector approach. The author of such training is psychologist Yuri Burlan, who, like Freud, connected the physiological and psychological components of the individual. His technique allows you to understand the desires, feelings and thoughts of another person and yourself, and adapt to any changes.

According to Yu. Burlan, perceived reality consists of categories such as space, time, energy, information. Each of them has an internal and external part, and form mental measures expressed by vectors characteristic of a certain character - personality type:

• cutaneous;
• muscular;
• visual;
• anal;
• urethral;
• oral;
• olfactory;
• sound.

The type of vector is innate, and sexuality, thinking, priorities, physical health, mental state and life satisfaction of any person largely depend on it. It is impossible to change these qualities, but knowing your vector, you can develop your potential and realize it.

System-vector psychology affects personal relationships, society, work, communication with children and relatives. Thanks to the training, a person masters systems thinking, that is, he gains the ability to see the full picture of the world, distinguish between the manifestations of people, and ceases to be irritated by measuring those around him with one template.

You don't appreciate her actions.

A lot of men quickly get used to what a woman does for them. But she doesn't have to do that to you.

Yes, we can say that she is a wife and at least for that reason she should. No, she, like you, wants to do it, wants to - doesn’t. Don’t forget that she irons your shirts, cooks for you, and so on.

Very often you don't appreciate it when it's there. And when not, you begin to understand. Just as you like to repeat that you don’t owe her anything, remember that she doesn’t owe you anything either.

Once you understand this, you will see how much she does for you and for your relationship. It is very important not to leave this unnoticed, but simply say “thank you.” Then she will want to do a hundred times more for you. The effort is minimal, but what a cool result.

Common Causes of Relationship Problems and Secrets of Happy Couples

There are three categories of reasons that create problems in intersexual relationships:

1. Incompatibility of partners - they have different values, life goals, needs and preferences in sex.
2. Personality characteristics – inability to create harmonious relationships, internal conflicts.
3. Lack of necessary knowledge, both of one’s own nature and of one’s partner, inability to relieve stress, relax, manage money, manage a household, etc. Such tools could help in cases where love is not enough to maintain a union

There are many tips for maintaining relationships in a couple; it is simply impossible to list them all in one article. Here are just the results of English researchers who claim that happy partners in couples have certain qualities:

1. They constantly show care, help each other, demonstrate love and appreciation even in small things. These include romantic confessions, help in preparing dinner or taking off shoes, gratitude for taking out the trash, etc.
2. Find opportunities to spend time together. This could be any ritual - a conversation over dinner, a walk together in the park on the weekend.
3. They often laugh together and are able to turn any problem into a joke. Modern psychologists even advise couples to often visit places where they can laugh together.
4. They give their partner the freedom to grow personally, even if he won’t be there to accomplish this; they don’t try to force them to be identical to themselves.
5. They are able to quickly find a compromise and do not bring the dispute to the point where a winner and a loser are determined.
6. Leaves room for perceived flirtation or even distance. That is, they are quite calm about the wide range of acquaintances both partners have and that a stranger can flirt with each of them somewhere.

You control her life.

If you don't trust her, why are you dating her? Agree, when you say that you are going to a meeting with your friends, the last thing you want to hear is regular questions about how many people will be there, whether there will be any women with you, where exactly you will be and exactly what time you will arrive home. All this bullshit is terribly tiring.

Then why did you decide that you have the right to pester her with such things? Even though you are in a relationship, she is still a free person who still has the right to her own personal life. All control comes from lack of confidence either in yourself or in her.

Solve these problems or get rid of the relationship with the person you don't trust.

So, the beginning of a relationship between a man and a woman: the rules of emotional harmony

First of all, think about why people in general (and you personally in particular) are trying to start a new relationship? Let’s discard those cases when new relationships are created solely for the purpose of passing time, without a long-term perspective and any obligations: such “dating for hire” is a completely different story...

In most cases, people meet in the hope of finding that “soul mate” with whom it will be easy and comfortable to walk along the bumpy road of life. Please note: it is easy and comfortable, and not “correct”, “beautiful” or “cool” - this is what you should proceed from in your philosophical reasoning “how to behave at the beginning of a relationship with a man”.