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A psychological complex is a distorted idea of yourself, your mental abilities and physical qualities. Complexes prevent us from loving ourselves and perceiving ourselves as we are. Complexes make you doubt yourself and your every decision, look for flaws in your appearance and actions, and prevent you from living life to the fullest.
Uncertainty creates doubts about one’s actions and decisions.
All complexes come from childhood.
Almost everyone in childhood was compared with other children: they were told how beautiful, smart, and talented they were. Let the goal be motivation for development, but the understanding that others are better than you is deposited in the subconscious and affects the psyche at a conscious age.
Complexes can appear as a result of bad experiences: failure in a career, unsuccessful relationships affect the perception of oneself.
The most common complexes in women
Most often, insecurity or fear arises from appearance
There are a lot of complexes. The most common ones relate to appearance:
- Weight. Girls always want to be slimmer. Even those with an ideal figure find themselves carrying extra pounds. This unhealthy desire to lose weight arises because girls see skinny models in advertising and magazines - this image is presented as a standard of beauty. Girls exhaust themselves with workouts and diets to look like the beauties on the screen.
- Appearance. After looking at Hollywood stars with perfectly straight noses, gorgeous smiles and plump lips, girls want to look the same. They first decide to have one plastic surgery, then they find more flaws in themselves - and now they are already regular patients at the cosmetology and plastic surgery clinic.
- Attractiveness and sexuality. Girls want to attract men and be desired. Girls constantly compare themselves with the previous companions of their boyfriend.
- Breast size. Many women want to have large breasts because it is believed that large breasts are attractive to men.
- Height. Ideal height is an eternal problem for girls. Short people want to be tall, and tall people dream of being shorter.
There are problems associated with the upbringing, thinking and behavior of women in relationships with men:
- Cinderella complex: girls are waiting for their betrothed and believe that he will instantly solve all their problems;
- princess or daddy's girl syndrome: accustomed to their father's care and constant gifts, girls expect the same behavior from their man - this can turn off young men;
- Amazons: a girl is disdainful of members of the opposite sex - this problem arises among those who were raised only by their mother, or the mother was domineering and did not take into account the opinion of the father;
- quasimodo: a girl has a highly distorted, negative assessment of her appearance and attractiveness to the opposite sex;
- syndrome of excessive promiscuity: characteristic of passionate women who easily make numerous connections - few men will appreciate the fickleness of their girlfriend.
Amazon complex
This complex sometimes even symbolizes aggressive matriarchy. It consists of a secret or overt negative attitude towards men in general. In fact, this is a purely female version of the beautiful Narcissus complex, narcissism taken to the extreme. According to legends, tribes of beautiful warriors invited men from neighboring tribes during their free time from war for a short love and conception. Then the Amazons sent the born boys and their fathers to distant villages. The girls were raised in their own image. Such complexes can arise in girls whose families have domineering and aggressive mothers who dominate weak, indecisive or simply mild-tempered fathers.
Recognizing a girl with a “weak spot”
Without noticing it ourselves, we reveal our fears and complexes to others. All people are different, and complexes manifest themselves in different ways. How to determine that a girl has complexes? Girls with complexes are characterized by two behavior patterns:
- Girls try to blend in with the crowd. They try not to attract attention to themselves. Girls will avoid noisy parties and will never wear bright clothes. They are sure that no one will ever love them and that they are unworthy of love.
- Girls point out the shortcomings of others always and everywhere. This is how they try to assert themselves. Such girls suffer from narcissism.
Imaginary problems prevent you from living life to the fullest
Complex people are unhappy. Their imaginary problems prevent them from living. They are not pleased with their achievements; they constantly delve into themselves, finding new reasons for not loving themselves.
3, There is such a complex as postpartum.
These include: saggy belly, stretch marks, excess weight, fatigue. Any woman who has given birth goes through all this. Returning your body to normal physical shape is not a problem, you just need time and great desire. Thanks to regular exercise , proper nutrition, and self-confidence, without which you can’t go anywhere, you can easily restore the shape of your breasts, get rid of your belly and make your legs beautiful. You just have to try and be patient.
Getting rid of the problem
Almost everyone who has a complex sooner or later thinks about how to get rid of this problem. It is worth noting that there is nothing complicated about this - it is not difficult to rid a girl of her complexes. The main thing is to think rationally and follow the advice of professionals.
- It is important to recognize the problem that is bothering you and find its roots. Our problems come from the fact that something constantly seems to us: that they don’t like us, that they don’t appreciate us at work, that others don’t like us, etc. Remember: as practice shows, only the closest people pay attention to us they love us. So don't worry about what passers-by or passengers on the bus will think. They weren't even going to think about you.
- Understand that there are no perfect people. Everyone has flaws. Some people perceive themselves as they are, while others evaluate everything negatively.
- Get rid of the fear of public opinion. Stop listening to what others say. It's your life and it's up to you to decide how to live it.
- Believe in yourself. This is how you will achieve success. You can try various auto-training sessions or sessions with a psychologist.
- Find your strengths. Mentally go over your positives - what you are especially proud of. Write them down and start the day by reading this list.
- Love yourself. No matter how many flaws you find in yourself, love yourself with them. Remember that you are unique.
Every person has encountered complexes at least once in their life. The question is how people react to them. Some consider this a huge flaw, while others accept them as part of themselves. This is exactly what you should do: love yourself with all the pros and cons. The main thing is not to give your complexes power over yourself.
Treatment
Like any disease, men's complexes must be treated. Otherwise, men may develop other mental disorders.
There are techniques aimed at eliminating complexes. They include several mandatory steps:
- Admit your problems. The first and most difficult stage for any person, and even more so for men. If they admit their complexes, they will destroy stereotypes: a man has no right to be weak, he cannot demonstrate his vulnerability, he must hide his feelings. You need to understand that every person can have difficulties - you are no exception. Only after this can you move on.
- Find the reason for your complexes. Complexes and phobias in men cannot appear out of nowhere. This is a consequence of severe stress or prolonged influence of our loved ones. Listen to yourself and try to understand what exactly is bothering you.
- Forgive your offenders. This way you can free yourself from internal pressures and become calmer. There are cases when, after many years, the patient found a person who caused him complexes. They discussed the situation in the past. Often offenders regret their actions and ask for forgiveness. This frees a man from his fears. It wouldn’t hurt to apologize yourself.
“Nobody needs me” or “Nobody loves me.”
This also comes from childhood. More often, the reason is a lack of attention from parents, educators, and teachers. Such a woman is often unlucky in her personal life, because she thinks, “Since I was not given attention in childhood, no one needs me now either.” And men feel insecure and run away. If the problem is very serious, then you should go to a psychologist, and if not, then believe in yourself and not lower your self-esteem.
Most importantly, believe in yourself, as in the movie “I am the most charming and attractive”, maybe what you are looking for is very close and waiting for you, you just have to look around and stop for a second to notice it.
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Physiological
Understanding and awareness of the presence of shortcomings in one’s own appearance can lead to negative or positive consequences. At best, an objective perception of a problem helps a person improve himself. He strives to play sports, improve his body condition, and find his own style.
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In the worst case, this causes the development of suspiciousness and vulnerability. Symptoms of physical type complexes include:
- fear of photo shoots;
- reluctance to look at your own photos;
- regular search for new flaws in the mirror image;
- desire to constantly discuss shortcomings.
A person may refuse to create a relationship due to the uncertainty that he can be loved with all his flaws.
Weight problems
The problem develops due to a person’s excessive fixation on the features of his own appearance. He always believes that he is unworthy of love and attention, that he does not look good enough.
If a person has excess body weight, he strives to get rid of it by any available means. When he has such a complex, he can go to any lengths to achieve what he wants and achieve his goal. Among other things, excess weight itself often causes low self-esteem and excessive shyness.
Appearance Features
Almost any feature of appearance that does not fit into the framework of standards and norms is perceived as a flaw. Due to the presence of any deficiencies, a separate complex is formed, which progresses greatly over time, so each physical deficiency is perceived by some people as the greatest tragedy in life.
A person is able to give up his own perspective only because he thinks of himself as unworthy of joy, happiness or any other good.
Noticeable physical defects transform into strong complexes, which are extremely difficult and sometimes impossible to get rid of. By getting used to a certain strategy of behavior, a person loses the ability to change.
Soulful
This type of human complexes refers to a person’s relationship with himself and the world around him. Unfortunately, in modern society only a few can boast that they have neither physical nor psychological complexes. The majority of people suffer to a greater or lesser extent from the inability to communicate with others or due to difficult relationships with loved ones, friends, and relatives.
Naturally, all these factors negatively affect the quality of human life, making the individual withdrawn and unsure of his own abilities.
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Guilt
The reasons for the development of a guilt complex, as a rule, include age-related injuries. If the relationship with the family is not right, a person constantly feels guilty even if he did nothing. The presence of such a psychological complex leaves a noticeable imprint on personal formation. Full development becomes impossible.
Many people are familiar with a guilt complex. It is most often started by parents who endlessly express complaints to the child and criticize him all the time. As a result of these actions, he ceases to believe in his own capabilities and strengths. It seems to him that he is not able to cope with even an easy task. He develops a fear of letting his family down.
Forming the habit of adapting to others and meeting their expectations only becomes stronger over time. A person spends a huge amount of energy to spend his life in illusion. Such a complex has never benefited anyone. In order to be good in the eyes of society, a person spends a huge amount of life resources. At the same time, he leaves his own aspirations, desires and dreams unfulfilled.
State of the victim
In this situation, a person is completely immersed in a sea of personal experiences. The victim complex does not allow him to adequately perceive the world and reality around him. People with such problems always feel that life is treating them unfairly. They meekly prepare for defeat without even trying to win.
A pessimistic attitude takes away their desire to fight. A person is afraid of unpleasant feelings, he does not want to be humiliated again. The victim complex causes the development of a painful feeling of helplessness. Its difference is that it creates a feeling of inner emptiness.
In the modern world, people often do not pay attention to how much they suffer. Each of them prefers to justify themselves by saying that circumstances just happened that way. Few people are able to take responsibility and try to change their character.
Perfectionist Syndrome
People with a similar complex strive to do everything at the highest level, making the most of their capabilities and life resources. The only problem is that the excellent student is unable to cope with difficulties.
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She is afraid to get into a difficult situation because she does not know where to find a way out of it. Such a habit becomes the reason for dissatisfaction with the results of one’s actions, even when maximum efforts were made to solve the problem.
The perfectionist syndrome prevents a person from enjoying development, since he does not notice his strengths, but pays attention exclusively to his shortcomings. List of features of the complex:
- fear of making a mistake;
- fear of getting a bad grade;
- regular state of stress;
- excessive self-criticism;
- vulnerability to others and their criticism.
A similar problem is also accompanied by a regular feeling of guilt for the fact that a person could not do everything perfectly and flawlessly.
