Why does attraction and sympathy arise between people?


What it is?

Liking is the feeling when you like another person. That's exactly how people talk about it. Why does such an attraction to a man or woman arise?

Definition of sympathy

When asked what sympathy for a person is, psychologists answer this way: it is a stable emotional predisposition towards a specific object. The concept of “sympathy” comes from the Greek word “sympatheia”, which means “attraction”, that is, attractiveness and desirability of something or someone. Sympathy is most often formed randomly. We begin to communicate with a guy or girl, we realize that we have a lot in common or that we just want to maintain a connection with the object.

It is worth understanding that sympathy is an emotion that appears not only between a man and a woman. It can form for absolutely any person, regardless of gender and age. After all, this is not falling in love, which requires the opposite sex, but simply a good attitude. However, for a guy and a girl, sympathy is the initial stage in the development of a relationship. Often it develops into falling in love, then into love, or can only transform into passion.

Why does sympathy arise?

We figured out what it is to like a girl or a guy. But not everyone can say for sure why it occurs. Usually, when asked this question, people say that they just like the person, but the reason for this is unknown.

In fact, we sympathize with another person for one or more reasons. These include the following:

  1. Appearance. Appearance is the very first thing that is assessed when meeting someone, then everything else. Neatness and a sense of style always attract.
  2. Similarity in character. If there are similarities, this is attractive, since in this case it is easier for people to understand each other.
  3. Shared hobbies and interests. It's nice when someone likes the same thing as you.
  4. Same outlook on life. Similarity in attitude towards life and its specific values ​​also plays an important role. Like-minded people always feel sympathy for each other.

There is an opinion that opposites attract. And there is some truth in this. People who have similar interests do not always like each other. It is often observed that a person sympathizes with an object that is completely different from him.

Here the reason may be hidden in some unrealized goals and objectives. For example, often a timid person likes to communicate with confident people because he wants to be equal to them, he is attracted by their demeanor and ease, which is difficult for him to achieve.

What is mutual sympathy?

This definition refers to a situation where people mutually like each other. There is already an active process of communication and interaction here. As a rule, this is possible if two people have common hobbies and similar views on life.

You can determine the reciprocity of sympathy by the way people communicate with each other. They talk with pleasure, try to keep the conversation going in every possible way, look directly into the eyes with interest, and repeat the gestures of their interlocutor. A person can also directly say that it is easy and pleasant for him to communicate with you, that he feels as if you have known each other for a hundred years.

When they talk about mutual sympathy, they most often mean the relationship between a man and a woman. The union begins with just this feeling, then something more arises.

The power of a glance

At the moment when a person experiences this or that feeling, he unnoticeably changes his behavior. Insignificant, in small details, however, if you look closely, you can see them.

You can tell that a person likes us even by looking at us. If they look at you furtively, they quickly look away. At such moments, people experience possible failure, they do not know the response and therefore are in no hurry to take the first steps. Some still dare to meet the gaze of the object of sympathy, but there is no hint of negative emotions or hostility in their eyes.

Men and women look at the person they like differently. If we talk about the stronger half, then they are not afraid of making eye contact; after examining the face, they lower their gaze to examine the area of ​​the chest and hips, so to speak, to evaluate the woman completely.

For the weaker half of humanity, signs of sympathy are something like voyeurism. A woman watches a man when he does not see her. For her, meeting eyes is both exciting and very important. This is why girls usually start looking up, as if anticipating a special moment.

Shows of affection

Signs of sympathy are almost impossible not to notice. When you like someone, it is very difficult to hide these emotions. Because you will be attracted to the object like a magnet, and you will not be able to do anything about it. The main signs of sympathy are:

  1. Initiating communication. If a person likes you, then he will try to stay in touch with you as much as possible and constantly remind you of himself. After all, communicating with someone you like is pure pleasure and positive emotions. Therefore, the interlocutor will take the initiative into his own hands.
  2. Showing a sense of humor. Often someone who likes us tries to make us laugh and cheer us up. After all, it is known that people with a sense of humor always attract and win over people. They are the soul of any company, and everyone strives to communicate with them. Therefore, a person will try to awaken your interest in himself through jokes. True, not all people are capable of openly and truly funny jokes. Sometimes this way of being liked looks quite ridiculous and can have the opposite effect.
  3. Caring and attentive. Know that such a feeling as sympathy for a guy or girl cannot be done without the person’s desire to care, to constantly come to the rescue, to be there in difficult moments of life. The desire to show care towards someone arises only with a good attitude. Therefore, if someone cares about you, then they care about you. The person also shows attentiveness. He will notice absolutely everything about you: changes in appearance, changes in mood.
  4. The person consults with you. If a man or woman needs advice, they will first turn to someone they like. If a person often comes for advice, this means that he definitely has sympathy for you. Your opinion is important to him, he feels much better when he talks with you.

Sympathy - what does this word mean?

Sympathy is attraction to a certain person . Often it is mutual. This is when you are attractive and this person likes you.

You can look away, but a kind of spark is already there. However , this is not infatuation or love. This is still a long way off, but no matter what, you already exist in each other’s heads. You are interested in this person. And it is precisely this thin line that exists between you.

Sympathy is a kind of disposition towards a certain person. It often turns out later that you have a lot in common - favorite programs, series, books, the same views on life, culinary preferences, hobbies and much more. It is a real blessing to meet such a person. But love begins precisely with sympathy.

There is also fleeting sympathy, after which there is no romantic continuation of the relationship. Perhaps this happened because you did not have time to come up and start a conversation, or you are no longer free.

In the first case, you made a mistake, because maybe it was your destiny. This was a real chance to become a couple of notches happier, but you ignored it. Have there been many such situations in your life?

Sympathy and antipathy

What is sympathy, we figured it out. It remains to consider the opposite concept - antipathy. This definition means persistent disapproval, an unfavorable attitude towards another person or phenomenon.

Hostility can arise for various reasons, for example, due to appearance, character, immoral lifestyle. But often it manifests itself for absolutely no reason. The person seems to look great, easy to communicate with, simple in behavior, but still there is something repulsive, there is no interest.

The roots of antipathy lie in your idea of ​​what a man or woman should be. If there is a big difference between the presented image and a specific person, then hostility is formed. An obvious divergence in life views, priorities, and interests can also repel.

Sympathy in psychology

Many years of research have established a number of reasons why sympathy or affection for something or someone arises. One of the main factors is physical attractiveness, the role of which we will consider below. But what should those who do not stand out for their bright appearance do?

Scientists have noted that sympathy is a feeling that can develop over time, regardless of our preferences. Advertising does something similar to us. We don’t yet know the taste of the two chocolate bars, but we already prefer the one we saw more often on TV. This is recognition. Even the experimental rats showed greater affection for the music of the composer whose masterpieces were heard more often.

Exactly the same thing happens in the social environment. The person we see often becomes more attractive to us.

Sympathy - “a little love for a person”

Let's summarize what sympathy means. It is a positive feeling when we like another person and are ready for the following interaction with him:

  • communicate day and night;
  • spend time together;
  • consult;
  • share your emotions and experiences;
  • take care and show attention.

In this way we become attached to a man or a woman. We can say that sympathy is a little falling in love with a person, but it does not depend on age or gender.

conclusions

You need to understand that sympathy is a feeling thanks to which we can exist favorably in society, make acquaintances, partnerships and friendships. This is the basis for falling in love and love.


To feel more confident and comfortable, you need to be able to express yourself, present yourself, and make people sympathize. But this can only be achieved by remaining yourself, developing positive qualities in yourself, such as goodwill, openness, honesty, decency, reliability, and the desire to listen. And only then can we expect goodwill and a budding, strong friendship from the other person in return.

Main features

The guy unconsciously demonstrates his affection for the girl. This is expressed in a number of signals that he gives with his body posture and gestures. The young man will listen carefully and remember everything the woman tells him.

During a conversation, you need to pay attention to the position of the guy's head. If she is slightly tilted to the side, then you should suddenly change the topic of conversation, and then observe the reaction. Maintaining the posture means a high level of sympathy; a straight head indicates that the man is only interested in conversation.

A guy will try to look presentable in front of a girl. To do this, he straightens his shoulders, monitors his posture, and raises his chin. The male attitude is revealed by the constant adjustment of hair and clothes.

First impression

Psychologists have proven that 5-6 seconds are enough for another person to evaluate. It is during this time that he understands how they treat him. A man will try to look well-groomed and luxurious. If he likes a girl, then the representative of the stronger sex will take an open pose: his arms are open, his body position is relaxed.

Sympathy on the part of a man is expressed in the fact that he will carefully look at his chosen one. At this moment the whole world will cease to exist for him. Another situation may arise: the guy will start to get lost and behave modestly.

Nonverbal cues

Communication between people is realized not only through words. Gestures, facial expressions, posture - all this conveys information during a meeting.


Through body language you can understand a person’s attitude and feelings

If a guy is interested in a girl, then he tries to meet with her more often, looks for common interests and wants to know something more about her. He becomes attentive, courteous and may accidentally touch her body.

Subconsciously, any representative of the stronger sex tries to please his chosen one. To do this, he shows his external attractiveness: he looks neat, has a fashionable haircut, and splashes himself with expensive cologne.

An attentive woman may notice sweat on her face, redness of the skin and heavy breathing. But the degree of manifestation of sympathy depends on individual characteristics. A strong personality does not show clear signs.

The man's gaze will glance over the girl, but with direct contact he will be embarrassed. He can stealthily look at his beloved, admire her - this is the highest manifestation of feelings.

Some actions

Sympathy is expressed not only in gestures and facial expressions. If a guy likes a girl, then he will behave in a certain way: worry about her well-being, give gifts, pay for cafes and entertainment.

Important! A man can accompany you home, pay for a taxi and take care of you in every possible way.

During meetings, such a young man does not answer extraneous phone calls, he demonstrates good manners and tries to please his chosen one.

Movements

Particularly striking nonverbal signs of a man’s sympathy for a woman are manifested through gestures. A guy in love demonstrates self-confidence through his thumbs tucked into his belt.

The level of his attention can be checked by where the toes of his shoes are turned. If they look in the girl's direction, then this is definitely a sign of attraction.

If he is interested in communication, he will raise his chin and seem to look down on you. The man will begin to close the distance, invade personal space and demonstrate his interest in every possible way.

An open posture, uncrossed arms and legs is a sign of his disposition and sympathy. The guy may begin to unconsciously copy the girl’s gestures and posture. This is how empathy manifests itself.

You can determine being in love by a combination of signs: posture, gestures, appearance, gaze. Only together will this give an idea of ​​a person’s true attitude.

Characteristic gestures

In life, a woman does not always understand that a man likes her. This can be determined by changed behavior. Random touches and unexpected encounters will appear.

A young man can take off his jacket to demonstrate the beauty of his body. A tucked away watch or loosened tie serves as a sign to attract attention.

A brave man can hug a woman, touch her shoulders and waist. During a conversation, his body leans forward, so he invades someone else's personal space.

If the conversation takes place in the company of friends, then the young man will turn towards his chosen one, straighten his shoulders and show his strength.


He may play with keys or other objects in his hands

You can understand a man's attitude by his posture. If she is relaxed, he tries to look perfect and show off his physical advantages - these are signs of affection.

In psychology, much attention is paid to facial expressions. A sincere smile can be determined by a number of signs: wrinkles around the lips, raised corners of the mouth. It is wide and it is clear that the person is really happy to meet the object of his feelings.

Behavior

In correspondence, it is difficult to understand a person’s attitude, since non-verbal signals are not visible. Some behavioral features will give a clear idea of ​​this.

The man will begin to defend his chosen one, offer to solve problems for her, and begins to be interested in the same things as her. So he strives to find common ground.

You can recognize interest by the number of random encounters. If a young man works with his beloved in the same place, then he will try to see her as often as possible. In some cases, the guy may be trying to get a common project or find something to do together.

In the psychology of sympathy, another feature of behavior stands out. A man will try to act lightly and joke a lot, this shows him as an interesting interlocutor.

The meeting can last from 10-15 minutes to several hours. The young man will try to increase the time of communication, as it is pleasant for him to be near a woman.

What to do in case of a mistaken declaration of love?

There are people who are ready to keep within themselves the strongest feeling of love for years, without ever daring to open up to a person. Over time, these feelings fade away in absolutely any person as silently as they arise. They cannot live in a person as long as the person himself is alive. There are exceptions, but they are very rare and the exception to the rule. Sooner or later, if a person does not share his feelings with the object of his love, they will leave. This may take several months or years. But sooner or later, such feelings definitely pass without ever breaking out.

There may be several reasons why a person cannot open up to the object of his love and confess his feelings to him. But they are all equally strong, holding back such strong feelings inside.

Most often, a person cannot confess his love because of banal fear. People who experience such strong feelings are afraid to tell the person responsible for these feelings about them. They are paralyzed by the fear that they will be rejected or dissed. However, there is absolutely no need to be afraid of this. If you are confident in your feelings, then you need to push fear aside and boldly admit everything.

However, it is not only fear that can constrain a person’s actions. The fact is that a person can simply doubt his feelings. Many people are not one hundred percent sure that they really love a person. That's why they don't talk about it, so as not to do anything stupid. In this case, you really need to be patient and make sure of the truth of your love, and not immediately lay all your cards on the table.

But there are also people who rush to confess their love to a person, feeling ordinary affection, sympathy or passion. They are not ready to wait, and make a declaration of love for a person for whom they feel only deep sympathy. However, over time, they begin to understand that there can be no talk of any love here.

If you confessed your love to a person for whom you do not have similar feelings, then you need to do something about it before things go too far. First, you need to talk to him and explain everything to him directly. This must be done both in case of reciprocal recognition on his part, and if the person was unable to reciprocate your feelings. In any case, a conversation must take place in which you must honestly admit that you are confused in your feelings and have confused sympathy and love. If you just like a person, then tell him so. There is no need to embellish or exaggerate anything.

You must clearly understand that the hardest thing will be to explain to the person who reciprocated your feelings. Moreover, some people may not have the courage to do this as they may be afraid of offending the person. However, it is imperative to explain things to such a person, because there is nothing worse than a relationship out of pity.

In general, if you have confused love with ordinary sympathy and managed to tell the person about your feelings, then be prepared for the fact that you will have to take back your words.

Can sympathy turn into love?

If you confessed your love to a person, confusing your feelings with sympathy, and the person did not reciprocate your feelings, then you may not rush to refute your words. The fact is that over time, sympathy can really develop into love. There are a huge number of examples of such changes in feelings. So there is a possibility that your crush will become a strong and beautiful love. But if after a long period of time you have not noticed that you are starting to really fall in love with a person, then talk to him about your real feelings. There is no need to deceive a person who has such strong feelings for you. The thing is, it can come back to haunt you.

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