What is tactile contact? Why is it so necessary for harmonious relationships with children, between lovers: learning the language of touch and secret touches

In this topic we will explore the importance of such a concept as tactile contact.

Among various types of interpersonal communications, tactile contact plays a significant role. In simple words – touching, touching. There is a category of people for whom such sensations are the most effective method of obtaining information, and communication without touching is almost impossible for them.

But there is also a category that does not attach due importance to tactile contact. Therefore, we propose to analyze its role in our lives in order to understand its importance for established relationships.

Definition of the concept

The transfer of information occurs using touch. This is a specific way of communicating through direct physical contact with another person. Tactile data comes to the brain from sensory receptors located in the muscles and joints. In this way, a person receives information about the position of the body in space, the outside world.

Tactile communication is one of the ways of communication. This is visual or non-verbal contact. With the help of tactile communication, a person attracts attention, establishes a connection, expresses an attitude towards a partner, and demonstrates negative emotions. Tactile communication and the norms that are associated with it depend on the culture of the area.

In terms of its meaning, touch can be ritual, playful, sexual, friendly, as well as intentional and accidental. Tactile communication complements visual and verbal communication.

Free hugs

Before the coronavirus pandemic, the Tiffany Field Institute was working on a large study in which scientists looked at people's behavior while waiting to board an airplane to find out how often people traveling together touched each other. As a result, they came to a terrifying conclusion: almost all the time people were busy with smartphones, and there was no talk of any touching.

It turns out that social networks, in which each of us spends a huge amount of time, should bring us together, but in fact, the opposite is true. No movement demonstrates this more powerfully than the Free Hugs initiative launched in June 2004. Surely you have seen online or met (before the pandemic, of course) people who stand with a sign “Free hugs” or “Free hugging”. Few people know that one person was behind the idea of ​​this action - a Sydney resident under the pseudonym Juan Mann. “I started giving out free hugs simply because there was no one around me at the time. No one hugged me or talked to me. Then a young woman came up to me at a party and hugged me, and for the first time in months I felt alive. It made me think about all the other lonely people in the world who might need or want a hug.”

Musician Shimon Moore spotted Mann giving out hugs in a Sydney shopping centre, filmed him and eventually used the footage for a video for his band Sick Puppies. The Free Hugs video went viral (it currently has almost 79 million views), and Mann's project became known around the world.

The need for human touch

In psychology, there are 18 meanings of physical contacts. They were conditionally divided into 7 groups:

1. Positive emotional impact.
2. Control.
3. A game.
4. Mixed touches.
5. Ritual.
6. Targeted.
7. Random.

Positive emotions are exchanged between people in good relationships:

1. Supportive touch shows care, comfort, protection. Contact is considered appropriate when the interlocutor is in a state of despair, depression, and anxiety.
2. With the touch of approval, people express appreciation, gratitude, and also give consent to certain actions.

1. Affiliation implies psychological intimacy. Indicates joint interaction, that is, people are engaged in one thing, and physical impact occurs in the process of performing their functions.
2. Sexual touching means mutual sympathy, sexual desire, attractiveness.
3. Affection shows a person's positive attitude towards their partner.

The touches of play can be impactful and aggressive. The point of contact is that the information should not be taken seriously. In addition, with the help of the game, a person is influenced to obtain a certain effect. Control is needed to direct the partner’s attention in the right direction and provoke a reaction. Ritual touches include greetings and farewells. This includes a handshake and a pat on the shoulder. Random tactile contact does not carry any meaning; it is carried out unintentionally.

Communication between people occurs through words, gestures, and touches. When using all communication tools, there is a complete transfer of information.

Expressing feelings

Nonverbal communication is a means of expressing one’s own feelings towards another person, action, or situation. With the help of touches, they demonstrate a friendly or loving attitude, attract attention, restore peace of mind, and gain leadership.

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Safety

This includes hugs, with the help of which one person expresses his readiness to help and support, and the other feels this attitude. The need for hugs arises from birth. It is initially important for a baby to feel his mother nearby, to feel her touch. Over time, the child remembers the mother's voice and then grasps the meaning of the words.

Love

Love is a non-verbal mode of communication that has the greatest effect on interpersonal relationships. It is demonstrated by parents, children, brothers, sisters, relatives and close people. This noble feeling is manifested by hugs, handshakes, and kisses. An increase in the number of touches between a man and a woman indicates that the relationship is becoming personal, and then intimate.

Confidence

Physical contact expressing trust does not occur between strangers. Manifests itself through hugs. When there is trust, a person allows himself to be touched, hugged, kissed.

Friendship

Men do not welcome excessive tactility, but in some situations hugs are allowed. Friends hug when they haven’t seen each other for a long time, want to express their gratitude, and experience a joyful or sad event together. In addition, friends allow themselves to hug while intoxicated, even if the friendship is not that close.

Women are calm about tactile communication if it is not of an erotic nature. Girlfriends often hug, kiss on the cheek and lips, sleep on the same couch, and hold hands for a long time.

When representatives of different sexes are friends, the expression of feelings should be within the bounds of decency. Frequent touching has intimate overtones. Friends definitely don't kiss on the lips. Hugs and kisses on the cheek are allowed.

Sexual innuendo

Nonverbal communication is aimed at attracting the partner's attention. In the process of courtship, with the help of tactile contact, partners demonstrate their desire to become closer. The main means used are caresses, kisses, massage. When a couple meets, it all starts with attention and communication. This is followed by a phase of touching and lovemaking. Tactile communication is present in the final stages.

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Touching is initially random. A partner interested in intimacy touches neutral parts of the body. The recipient, who is interested in this development of events, allows this to happen. Then purposeful movements appear, which culminate in sex. With the help of touches, the partner's reaction is checked.

Protection

The manifestation of this feeling is expressed in hugs and stroking. In a situation where a lightning-fast reaction is required, the defenseless partner is pushed to the side in order to stand in front. This behavior is typical of men who protect women, as well as mothers.

Contact between partners

Nonverbal communication is a powerful tool with which true intentions and relationships are understood without words. Managers need to be careful because subordinates may misinterpret their gestures. For example, one person will regard a manager’s hand on his shoulder as support and care, while another will consider it sexual harassment. In business relationships, the number of tactile contacts is limited. Partners keep their distance. Shaking hands and patting on the shoulder during a friendly greeting is allowed.

Relationships between spouses

The interaction between husband and wife is a special moment that causes many different debates. Family conflicts are the most powerful. It is believed that it is in relationships with the most dear people that we learn important life lessons, without which our personality would not be fully developed. After all, no one can become happy alone. The participation of a partner and the presence of a deep relationship with him are always required. And here you can’t do without tactile contact.

The spouses know each other like no one else. It's not just about individual character, manners, habits. Each of us has our own weaknesses and ailments, and then being close to a loved one can affect our condition and attitude.

The effectiveness of touch

To achieve your goal, you need to follow several rules:

1. Appropriate appearance. A person should not feel disgust or fear. The appearance of the opponent should evoke positive or neutral impressions.
2. The nature of touch. A strong and prolonged touch is perceived as pressure, causing discomfort and awkwardness. Touches should be light and short.
3. Speed. In Japan, geishas were taught to touch water. In this way the girls understood how light the touch should be. Sharp and fast movements cause a negative reaction, while superficial movements allow you to influence your partner with minimal physical effort.

1. Place. If necessary, you are allowed to touch your hands in the area of ​​the hand and forearm if necessary. Friends can hug and kiss, but touching intimate parts is allowed only during sexual contact.
2. Circumstances. The calmer the situation, the stronger the effect of the movements. In a bustle or aggressive environment, touch is ignored.

Physical contact helps you relax, calm down, get rid of stress, and also allows you to manipulate other people.

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How to feel wanted

Not only the girl is afraid that the guy doesn’t like her, but the male half is also afraid of disappointment. How to tell a guy if a girl likes him.

1. She doesn't look away when she looks.
2. In your presence, he fiddles with his hair, straightens his hairstyle, throws his head of hair back, exposing his neck.
3. Biting the lower lip or licking the lips.
4. He touches his lips with his fingers.
5. Blushes and feels embarrassed in your presence.
6. He laughs at your joke, even if it’s not funny.
7. Easily touches your fingers.
8. Makes a turn in your direction when talking.
9. Trying to get attention.

And this list goes on and on. Girls are more complex creatures. They can flirt without even thinking about continuing further communication. Therefore, it is more difficult for a guy to know whether he likes him or not. It's difficult, but anything is possible!

Body language: the meanings of touch

Tactile communication sometimes provides more information than verbal communication. Knowing body language, you can understand a person and understand his true intentions:

1. Handshake. Formal greeting. Indicates a good partner's disposition. The predisposition signal becomes stronger when the opponent places his left hand on his shoulder or on top of his partner's right hand.
2. Hug around the waist. It is perceived as a heterosexual gesture because the man's hand is near the woman's genitals. Means an intimate relationship or a hint of sex. Often used in courtship.
3. Kiss on the lips. Demonstration of warm feelings between lovers. Sometimes girlfriends or a child can afford such a kiss, touching their lips to their mother.
4. Hand on head. The most vulnerable part of the body is the head. Even the lightest touch demonstrates trust, a close spiritual and emotional connection.
5. Head to head. Men who are intoxicated allow themselves to do so. The gesture indicates close relationships and support. But such a touch is more typical for lovers. It means the desire of a man and a woman to be close, and far from everyone.
6. Weasel. It is part of sexual foreplay. A gesture demonstrated in public indicates an intimate relationship between partners.
7. Hand holding. Means support. A child can sit in the arms of his parents, loved ones, or a girl can sit in the arms of her beloved boyfriend.

1. Fake Attack game. Kicks, light blows, and pushes in a playful manner indicate friendly relations between men. In this way they fool around and show others their warm relationship.
2. Accompanying contact. The partner hugs the other by the shoulders and leads him in the direction he needs. This is a patronizing or controlling gesture.
3. Pat on the back. Praise, approval, support, friendship.
4. Hand holding. Symbolizes protection and possession. Used in public. Demonstrates the close relationship between a woman and a man.
5. Embrace. Shows a warm attitude. Side hug - support. Used by children, parents, friends, lovers when meeting, parting and simply for no reason.
6. Hand on shoulder. A male gesture demonstrating friendship, a friendly attitude.
7. Holding hands. Used by the mother to hold the child. Adults use this gesture to show others a love affair.

Nonverbal communication is diverse and very informative. For example, a woman adjusting the collar of a man’s shirt warns everyone: “He’s mine.” The gesture is perceived similarly when a man puts his hand on a woman’s waist in front of everyone.