Why do people get divorced: the main reasons for divorces in Russia in 2020 - 2020

Reasons for breaking up relationships

Family divorce statistics indicate the following reasons:

• approximately 42% of couples separated due to unpreparedness for family life (psychologically or physically). During the dates, it seemed that this would always be the case, and the union registered at the registry office would only strengthen the relationship. However, after marriage, an understanding comes of how different the spouses are. Each of them requires constant attention to itself. While reciprocity is practically absent, which leads to systemic conflicts;
• 31% of women and 23% of men say that their partner’s alcoholism or drug addiction led to divorce;
• 15% of wives and 12% of husbands demand a divorce due to the infidelity of their other half;
• 9% of women file for divorce because their partners do not help them with household chores. Although it is noted that 40% of men do this along with their wife;
• 3.1% of couples separate due to the monotony of daily life;
• 1.8% of families separate due to financial problems;
• 1.6% disagree on financial issues;
• 1.5% of spouses cannot stand their partner’s jealous suspicions;
• 0.8% disagree due to sexual dissatisfaction;
• 0.2% of couples break up due to infertility of one of the partners.

These are the main reasons for divorce according to statistics. In this case, who exactly initiated the divorce plays a big role. According to statistics, men say the following after divorce:

• 37% get divorced due to lack of close relationships;
• 29% lacked tenderness and affection;
• 14% broke up due to irregular sex life;
• 14% felt like they were in prison;
• 9% did not have enough attention and care.

Psychologists say that if spouses in a family trusted each other and were not afraid to voice their opinions, then the divorce statistics in the world would be significantly lower.

Who is at risk?

The optimal age for starting a family is considered to be from 22 to 30 years. During this period, the personality has already been formed, received an education, socially adapted and is ready for the next step. As a rule, at this age people have some goals in life, as well as a conscious desire to start a family and continue the family line, which cannot be said about young people aged 17-20 years.

Marriages that are too late, that is, after 30-40 years, also fall into the risk group. At this age, men and women are self-sufficient and mature individuals. It is difficult for them to show flexibility and loyalty towards another person, which are necessary for normal relationships in the family. Some people are not mentally ready to change their usual way of life: to sacrifice something, make concessions and be with their partner too often. The inability to compromise also very often leads to discord in family life.

Professional dedication and excessive workaholism are also very often reasons for divorce. If a spouse devotes 12 hours a day to work, forgetting about the other half and children, then quarrels and misunderstandings arise in the family. Chronic fatigue is accompanied by irritability or prolonged depression, which will inevitably lead to the dissolution of marriage. Therefore, many careerists believe that family is an obstacle to achieving professional heights and self-realization.

Note! In the first 10 years, about 60% of married couples divorce, then the trend decreases. The most difficult period of family formation is the first 3 years and the birth of the first child. If the difficult stage is passed, then, as a rule, the marriage bonds are strengthened, and mutual respect and understanding begins.

Arranged marriages also lead to complete disappointment. Recently, it is not uncommon to see a respectable man over fifty with a young and beautiful wife. The danger of arranged marriages is that when a person is fed up with money and entertainment, he wants emotional satisfaction in the form of love and respect, but it is not always possible to receive sincere feelings.

Sociological surveys have made it possible to understand and organize the main reasons for divorce of young and mature married couples.

One of the common reasons for divorce after 30 years of marriage is infidelity. Source: Flickr (Massimo_Cerrato)

Russian divorces

Many people mistakenly believe that divorce was rare in the Soviet Union. But that's not true. This is where the highest percentage of divorces occurred. The USSR ranked first among countries in the world. People actually disagreed, but they did not try to advertise this fact officially. After the collapse of the USSR, the CIS emerged. The number of divorced marriages has increased sharply. The three leaders were:

1. Russia – 51%.
2. Belarus – 45%.
3. Ukraine – 42%.

Today, Rosstat again confirms that the number of divorce proceedings in Russia is in the lead. Despite the law, which gives spouses time to reconcile, only 7% withdraw their applications. At the end of 11 months of 2020, there were 472.3 thousand divorces out of 843.9 thousand marriages.

Divorce statistics in Russia in percentage:

• 41% of couples separate due to alcoholism or drug addiction;
• 14% due to lack of own living space;
• 14% due to the intervention of relatives who want to help the young family;
• 8% due to lack of children;
• 6% due to a long-term absence of a partner from home (work in another city or abroad);
• 2% due to imprisonment;
• 1% due to serious illness of one of the partners.

These are the main reasons for divorce in Russia according to statistics. However, according to Rosstat, divorce statistics could have been different if not for the stopping factors:

• 35% of couples are kept by children;
• 30% do not want to divide jointly acquired property;
• 22% do not get divorced because one partner is financially dependent on the other;
• 18% of couples live because one of the spouses does not want to end their marriage.

The main reasons for divorces in Russia:

In order to identify the main reasons influencing the breakdown of marriage, sociological surveys were conducted. The research results were as follows:

• Alcohol or drug addiction occupies a leading position. Due to the additive behavior of one of the spouses, up to 41% of families break up.
• The second most popular reason is the lack of housing for a young couple. Because of this, up to 14% of divorce proceedings begin.
• The motives for divorce also include the interference of relatives in the lives of young people.
• According to statistics, 8% of people become separated due to childlessness.

Other reasons leading to the breakup of married couples include separation, arrest of one of the parties, and long-term illness.

Often the reason for divorce is the infidelity of one of the spouses. Research shows that marriages break up due to financial problems, differences in personalities, differences in the social status of the wife and husband, and domestic violence.

The problem of own housing for a young family is acute in many, especially small cities of Russia.

As a result, the newlyweds live with the parents of one of the spouses. This leads to a conflict between generations; adults often interfere in the relationships of young people, which negatively affects their family life.

Quite often, the cause of divorce is early pregnancy and marriage. After the birth of a child, young spouses face a large number of difficulties for which they are not psychologically and financially prepared.

If it is impossible to solve the problems on their own, the husband and wife decide to file an application for divorce.

At the same time, the grounds that stop spouses from divorcing are also named. The most popular include:

• common children;
• ownership of joint property;
• financial dependence of spouses.

Recently, social networks have been cited as one of the reasons for divorce. Psychologists note that virtual communication is attracting more and more people. As a result, couples break up and officially file for divorce.

Specialists from the Center for Psychoanalysis in St. Petersburg conducted a study, as a result of which they found out that social networks are the cause of family breakdown in up to 14% of the total per year.

How long does marriage last in Russia?

Divorce statistics by year of marriage:

As you can see, only 60% of families do not break up before 4 years of married life. Statistics on divorce by age indicate that the peak occurs when the husband and wife are 20–30 years old. It has also been proven that if an official marriage is concluded before the age of thirty, then there is a 50% chance that it will be long. However, the same cannot be said for couples who marry after thirty.

At an earlier age, it is much easier to adapt to your partner and adapt to new responsibilities. Over the years, it becomes more and more difficult to change your habits - this leads to misunderstanding and divorce.

Who is to blame for the divorce? Spouses were interviewed by age group (20–40 years). According to VTsIOM, the answers have remained virtually unchanged over 10 years – plus or minus 1%:

Legislative norms

Marriage is a family union between a man and a woman, registered through authorized state bodies. It defines mutual rights and obligations. At the same time, citizens have the right to enter into a marriage contract. The document establishes the rules of cohabitation and the consequences of ending the relationship.

Family law identifies the following principles of marriage:

• mutual agreement;
• equality of rights between husband and wife;
• building relationships on mutual respect, help, love;
• responsibility for each other, as well as for children.

Relations between spouses who do not have common children are terminated by applying to the registry office with a statement if there is general consent. If they are parents, the divorce process is carried out through the courts. One of the parents prepares a statement of claim demanding a divorce. In such cases, the plaintiff has the right to choose the court in which to file the claim. This can be done at his place of registration or at the registration of his spouse. Often, husband and wife are given time to reconcile. The duration of this period can be up to three months. After the judge considers the claim, a decision is made. The document that confirms the fact of divorce is a divorce certificate.

Data by age

If we consider the age categories of men getting married, then in first place is the age group of twenty-five to thirty years. In percentage terms it was 33%. The rest of the marriages are entered into by men at the ages of 20-25 and 31-35 years. Only 0.1% are in a legal relationship with a man before the age of eighteen.

The most common age for women ready to get married ranges from twenty to twenty-five years. The second place is occupied by the age category from 30 to 35 years. To summarize, pairs are formed within 20-35 years.

Statistics on time spent together

The most dangerous period for married couples is the period from five to nine years of cohabitation. 28% of divorces occur during this period. About 17% of couples divorce after being married for one to two years and three to four years. Married couples dissolve their marriage in 13% of cases if they have lived for 20 years or longer. The lowest percentage of divorces occurs among couples who have lived together for less than one year.

Dynamics of marriages and divorces

Statistics of marriages and divorces indicate the predominance of the former, but the difference between them is decreasing. A comparison of Rosstat data for the first quarter of 2013 and 2014 shows:

USEFUL INFORMATION: Advice from a psychologist: how to survive a divorce from your husband if you have children?

Regional data on divorces is interesting. The largest number of broken families live in the Leningrad and Magadan regions: here, for every 1 thousand new families, there are 772 broken families.

There are fewer divorced men and women in the autonomous regions. Data for the Volga Federal District indicate greater stability of families in Mari El, Mordovia, Chuvashia, and Udmurtia compared to other regions, but the percentage of divorces here is still above 50.

Improve the picture of the Republic of the North Caucasus:

• Chechnya ─ 14.2%;
• Ingushetia ─ 18.2%;
• Dagestan ─ 25.1%.

In these areas, divorce rates may also indicate a more prosperous family environment. At first glance, the Muslim factor plays a role, but this possible reason is contradicted by the fact that in Tatarstan, too, divorce rates are high at 64.5%. Rather, what matters is the weak economic development of the area and the subordinate position of women.

Throughout the developed world, the statistics of registered divorces are disappointing, which forces governments to take measures to protect the family, although practice shows that these efforts do not give the desired result. Understanding the problem pushes sociologists, cultural scientists, and psychologists to the conclusion: the institution of family needs deep transformation.

Number of divorces by region

Statistics of divorces in the Russian Federation by region for 11 months of 2019:

At the same time, official divorce statistics in Russia have decreased. The main reason is that many couples do not want to register their union and live in a civil marriage. Such cohabitation can last for a long time, but without children. With the arrival of the baby, most parents decide to legalize their relationship. An analysis of divorce statistics in Russia shows that such families are much less likely to apply for divorce.

However, not all couples are given a divorce. If the spouse is pregnant, then there can be no talk of any dissolution of the marriage. When a child is born, the father is required to stay with him for up to one year. If the situation has not changed during this time, then the spouses will be divorced without the consent of the wife.

Divorce statistics in Russia by year indicate that over the past 50 years, broken unions in relation to marriages have not differed much in terms of numbers. But divorce statistics for 5 years, including 2020, show that the number of divorced families remains almost unchanged, which cannot be said about the number of officially registered marriages - there are fewer of them.

Divorce statistics in Moscow over the past year show a decrease in their number compared to the previous year. However, the number of applications for marriage registration has also decreased. In St. Petersburg, too, similar dynamics are observed as in Moscow. Divorce statistics by year show that the lower the number of registrations, the less often divorce occurs.

Reasons in different countries

Let's look at the most common reasons for divorce in Europe. In European countries, there is an increase in well-being, the ability to correctly distribute material resources among different segments of the population, the development of benefits - all this leads to the fact that in the most developed European countries both men and women feel protected and realize that they can independently cope with any difficulties , even if there is a child. That is, for them marriage is not considered as an economic support. In addition, many people do not see the need to formalize the union and live in a civil marriage.

The six main reasons found in developed European countries include:

1. Beneficial solitude. For example, in Belgium the divorce rate is 71%. This is due to the fact that people understand the benefits of loneliness, and it is also due to the characteristics of the social security system.
2. Treason. Basically, we are not talking about a one-time affair. Here there is a long-term relationship on the side or a long-term extramarital affair. The reason is also noted when the person who cheated brings various sexually transmitted diseases into the family.
3. Drug addiction and alcoholism. European countries have the highest levels of alcohol consumption. A large percentage of people who drink are chronic alcoholics. At the same time, society has a negative attitude towards alcoholism. Drug addiction is also very common in European countries and poses a threat to families.
4. Homosexual relations. The number of divorces associated with the appearance of a husband or wife of a same-sex lover is increasing. However, if situations happen to a bisexual couple, then the matter does not come to a divorce, people simply add variety to their sex life.
5. Reluctance to have children, as well as infertility. Women are especially sensitive to this problem. Men are increasingly less likely to file for divorce due to their partner’s infertility. And a woman is ready to get a divorce even if her husband refuses children or does not agree to artificial insemination. Today, more and more young people are refusing the burden of having children; they do not want to spoil their careers or deprive themselves of the pleasure of living as they want.
6. Computer and Internet addiction. The computer completely absorbs the wife or husband, depriving him of the opportunity to show his interest in his partner.

Let's look at the situation in the USA. There is a fairly high divorce rate here. Women no longer feel financially dependent on men, despite the fact that their salary levels differ.

1. The need for more pleasure, which they are not able to get from this marriage. If the relationship that has developed in their family ceases to satisfy, everything is easily resolved by divorce. The fact is that Americans have a consumerist view of family. They easily change their partners. This way, people who have been divorced once find it much easier to decide to divorce again. So the second gap is observed in 60%, the third - in 73%, while the first - in 41%.
2. Incompatibility of beliefs, in particular national or racial, religious. Differences in methods of education may also be considered, there are different ideas about responsibilities in family life, and different views on politics.
3. Financial difficulties. Despite the fact that the country has a sufficient level of prosperity, there is a huge degree of social stratification. Various types of such problems are observed in 2/3 of families.
4. Violence in family. This includes the assault of a man who offends his children and wife, but also the exertion of moral pressure by a woman on her husband, she constantly nags him. This also includes ridiculing the weaknesses of the spouse, moral mockery of him.
5. Treason. It is much easier to find a new partner or change spouse than to try to improve family relationships.
6. Disappearance of sexual attraction to spouse. The presence of stress in everyday life and lack of stability leads to the fact that intimacy is viewed as a new stressful situation; partners look to each other only for moral support. This leads to more and more families in which there is practically no sex. However, over time, one of the spouses ceases to be satisfied with this, which leads to divorce.

How is it going in Russia?

51 percent of marriages end in divorce. According to this indicator, Russia is closer to the highly developed countries of Europe. With all this, the reasons for the dissolution of marriages are opposite. In particular, if in those countries there is a high level of social security, then in Russia young couples break up due to difficulties that have befallen them.

1. Difficult living conditions. Families often break up due to the fact that a young couple is forced to live with the older generation, there is not enough living space, difficulties in communication, and conflicts arise.
2. Early unions and pregnancy. Marriage due to pregnancy also often ends in divorce.
3. Treason. They can occur due to dissatisfaction with a sexual partner, because of problems in everyday life, if the wife criticizes a lot, if the marriage was of convenience, or people got married because of an unplanned pregnancy. All this eventually leads to a move to the left.
4. Alcoholism. This reason is not uncommon, especially for men’s problem with drinking alcohol. Women's alcoholism is rarely considered by men as a significant reason for separation.
5. Financial difficulties. At the same time, it is more often the woman who initiates the divorce, in particular, if the man refuses to work and sits at home. Male representatives are calm about the fact that their spouse stays at home, but they will not tolerate it if a woman begins to reproach them with a lack of salary.
6. There is no mutual understanding. Sometimes friends don’t want to wash their dirty linen in public and simply write in the reason column - “they don’t get along.” Although sometimes this really is the true reason for the presence of constant scandals or a complete lack of love in the family. Also included in this category are situations where one spouse wants a child, but the other does not.

Let's look at the statistics on the causes of divorce in Russia:

• 41% - addiction of one of the spouses, in particular drug addiction or alcoholism;
• 26% - lack of their own housing;
• 14% - interference of friends and relatives in the life of a young family;
• 8% - inability to have a child;
• 6% - long-term living separately;
• 2% - due to one of the spouses being in prison;
• 1% - long-term illness of the husband or wife.

You can look at statistics regarding how long it takes before a marriage dissolves:

• after a year or two, 16% of families break up;
• after three - four - 18%;
• after five – nine – 28%;
• in ten – nineteen – 22%;
• in twenty – 12%.

My neighbor divorced her husband because after the birth of her child, he stopped being interested in both her and the baby, began returning late from work in a tipsy state, and spent all his free time in front of the monitor screen. The girl, having decided to divorce, indicated in her statement the reason “incompatibility of characters.”

Divorce and children

What are the statistics on divorce after the birth of a child? For many couples, no matter how many years they have been married, the birth of their first child leaves an imprint on the relationship between the spouses. The main reason is psychological unpreparedness for drastic changes, as the usual schedule of living together is disrupted.

Statistics on divorces with children confirm this fact. Every second marriage dissolution occurs shortly after the birth of the baby. But divorce is not the main reason why many children are without a parent. Over the past 5 years, their number has increased by 30%. The explanation is simple - many women give birth without a husband. Wikipedia will tell you about this view of life in more detail.

If Russian children raised in single-parent families make up approximately 56%, then in Ukraine it is about 70%. Psychologists have noted that it is more difficult for such students to create a strong family in the future, which leads to an increase in the number of divorces according to statistics.

Behavior of spouses after divorce

Statistics after divorces noted the following fact: it is more difficult for a divorced woman, regardless of whether she has children or not, to remarry. The reason for such circumstances is the increased mortality of middle-aged men. After an unsuccessful marriage, only 27% of the fairer sex remarry. According to official divorce statistics, 15% of women in such unions do not re-apply for divorce.

For divorced men, the numbers are significantly different. Only 68% remarry. Among them, 73% find family happiness. It is worth noting that the divorce process has a negative impact on the health of the participants. In this case, men are more susceptible to the occurrence of diseases than women. For example, divorce is one of the main causes of myocardial infarction.

Do wives return to their ex-husbands after a breakup? Not all spouses understand that in order for them to get back together, they both need to analyze what happened, draw adequate conclusions and try to change something in themselves. If only one of the spouses does this, then everything will end like the first time. 28% of couples who have lived together for more than one year, some time after the divorce, realize what a mistake they made.

80% of men want to re-sign with their ex-wives. However, according to statistics, wives return after a divorce much less often. An analysis of the number of divorces in Russia according to statistics shows that a family can break up even after 29 years of marriage.

Divorce statistics by country

Number of divorced marriages as a percentage:

As you can see, in most countries almost every second married couple gets divorced.

Divorces in Ukraine and Belarus

Divorce statistics in Belarus only confirm global trends. In 2020, 60.71 thousand marriages were registered. The number of divorces amounted to 33.15 thousand. In terms of 1000 marriages, this is 546. That is, almost half of the families break up. There are no data for 2019 yet.

The situation in Ukraine is somewhat different. In 2020, 228 thousand marriages were registered. The number of divorces amounted to 153.9 thousand. In terms of 1000 marriages, this is 673. In 2020, the situation changed dramatically. For 237.9 thousand marriages, there were only 38.6 thousand divorces. In terms of 1000 marriages, this is 162.