What is self-esteem
Self-esteem
- this is a person’s level of understanding of himself, his positive and negative qualities, assessment of his personality, part of the self-concept.
Self-perception is inextricably linked to the degree of self-love. The more a person loves himself, the more adequate and higher his self-esteem.
Personal self-esteem is a very significant indicator and influences how a person’s life will turn out. Confidence in your merits, faith in your own strengths allows you to achieve success. On the contrary, humiliation, feelings of guilt and shame, and unjustified shyness prevent internal needs from manifesting and being realized. Basic self-esteem is formed in childhood, but this is a category that can change over time and is subject to correction.
Adequate self-esteem and level of aspirations
Self-esteem forms the individual's self-awareness. It consists of two components:
- Cognitive. It reflects the information a person has received about himself;
- Emotional. The component expresses the individual’s attitude towards himself (character, habits).
US psychologist W. James created the following formula: Self-esteem = Success / Level of aspirations.
Let's consider how the level of aspirations and success affect self-esteem. The level of aspirations is characterized by the desired level of self-esteem of an individual. This is the level that a person wants to achieve. It concerns profession and finance. Success is the result achieved by an individual. An increase in the indicator will occur through an increase in the result of actions or a decrease in the level of claims.
An adequate level is the ability to objectively assess oneself and one’s abilities. A person has an adequate understanding of his place in society, accepts his feelings and character traits, his pros and cons.
Nathaniel Branden, a famous psychotherapist, believes that healthy self-esteem gives inner stability and confidence, without which it is impossible to cope with life's challenges. In his book, he gives six practices for developing healthy, adequate self-esteem.
Types of personality self-esteem in psychology
In psychology, there are three types of self-esteem. The classification is based on the degree to which a person’s self-importance corresponds to objective data. The more realistically a person evaluates himself, the more successful his relationships with people are and the higher his success in all areas of life.
Adequate self-esteem
With this type of self-perception, a person’s assessment coincides with reality. A person soberly realizes his strengths and weaknesses, knows his capabilities and needs, and determines his inner potential.
Such a person is capable of self-criticism and working on mistakes. Weaknesses are eliminated and strong characteristics are cultivated.
Inadequate self-esteem
Distorted self-esteem suggests that a person’s opinion of himself is far from objective. Radical self-perception can be overestimated or underestimated when a person either does not accept himself at all or believes that he has qualities that are not actually inherent in him. Inadequate self-esteem interferes with communication and professional achievement.
Mixed self-esteem
In this case, a person treats himself differently at different periods of his life, sometimes he shows more confidence, sometimes he becomes weak and complex.
We can also talk about a mixed view if we really look at ourselves in terms of some qualities, but inadequately in terms of other characteristics. For example, we confidently achieve success in our profession, but in our personal lives we consider ourselves unworthy of a suitable partner.
What to do?
When a person suffers from his self-esteem for a long time, cannot bring it back to normal, and the situation only gets worse - these are already signs of a disorder. In such cases, it is quite difficult to correct self-esteem on your own. Firstly, people with high self-esteem almost never admit that they have a problem. Secondly, for this you need to have strong self-control and self-discipline, which, unfortunately, is also unusual for them. In addition, high self-esteem can be a symptom of psychological problems, such as narcissistic personality disorder, and some types of psychopathy. In order to minimize this problem, it is best to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist. And the sooner the better. Using psychodiagnostics, a specialist will identify the reasons that contributed to the development of inflated self-esteem and, using various psychotherapy techniques, correct it. When working with self-esteem in children, the psychologist must also conduct conversations with the child’s adult environment (parents, grandparents) in order to help build correct child-parent relationships and form the right type of upbringing in the family.
If you or your loved ones are concerned about high self-esteem and require specialist help, contact us at the Center by phone. or fill out the form on the website.
Level of self-esteem
The level of self-esteem depends on the degree to which a person loves himself and compares with other people.
Understated
A person with low self-esteem treats himself without much warmth; he is not satisfied with the way his life is shaping up.
In external manifestations such an individual is expressed:
- frequent self-criticism;
- regularly occurring feelings of guilt;
- desire to please other people;
- fear of doing something wrong.
At the same time, a person’s objective data is good, there is potential, but due to the fear of making a mistake, they are often not realized.
Low
The most undesirable level of self-assessment, which does not allow you to build successful relationships and achieve results.
A person with low self-esteem is identified by the following symptoms:
- apologies are appropriate and inappropriate;
- neurotic feeling of guilt;
- constant justifications for one’s words and actions;
- lack of initiative due to complete lack of self-confidence.
With low self-esteem, an “imposter complex” is always present. If a person has achieved success, done something well, he will say that this is an accident and he has no merit in it.
His speech is replete with phrases such as: “I’m not sure,” “I can’t, I won’t succeed.” By the way, perfectionism is a manifestation of low and low self-esteem. Everyone knows examples when girls, seemingly with an ideal appearance, which many can only dream of, torture themselves with diets, go under the knife of plastic surgeons and develop severe pathologies.
Normal
Having normal self-esteem is a great success for a person! People are fully aware of their pros and cons, take their virtues and sins for granted, and try to correct the latter. A person respects and loves himself.
In external manifestations, such self-perception is expressed as follows:
- ability to make decisions and take responsibility for them;
- calm expression of one's opinion;
- stress resistance;
- adequate perception of criticism from the outside;
- realistic expectations.
A person who evaluates himself normally lives easily, calmly, harmoniously, she has many friends, and has all the opportunities for a successful personal life. The likelihood of mental and psychosomatic illnesses is low. A person does not gnaw at himself with a feeling of guilt; he realizes mistakes, corrects them and moves on.
High, overpriced
The essence of high and inflated self-esteem is the same - a distorted idea of oneself in the direction of praising advantages and ignoring shortcomings. An inflated self-perception is better for a person than an underestimated one, because it allows one to move forward. But such people have few close friends; they are often left alone.
Characteristics of a person with high self-esteem:
- narcissism, narcissism;
- intolerance of any criticism;
- unshakable confidence in one’s rightness;
- blaming the failures of others;
- lack of habit of asking for forgiveness, even if it is to blame;
- constant competition with colleagues and friends;
- lack of desire and skills to listen to the opponent.
Such a person is not interested in people, in principle. He often boasts, talks about his successes, and considers himself underestimated. The individual believes that the whole world should revolve around him; he does not ask, but orders.
High self-esteem in a child
Inflated self-esteem in children is expressed quite clearly. Such a child always considers himself the best, all gifts, treats, toys, and simply all the attention of others should belong to him. He needs other children only in order to stand out against their background and so that adults can see how much better he is than the rest. Does not tolerate competitors in anything. If he sees that another child is better in some way, and even arouses admiration among adults, he will throw a tantrum in order to divert all attention to himself. He is jealous of his parents towards everyone. If his mother praises someone in front of him, she immediately bursts into tears: “What about me?”
Such a child has a very difficult time in life. Over time, other children stop communicating with him (who enjoys being friends with a person who considers himself the best?). He faces loneliness, and in the process of growing up he will have to face the harsh realities of life. In the adult world, no one will tolerate his whims and indulge his pride, something will not work out, and he will have to admit that he is not the best. This state of affairs can result in neuroses, which will lead to deep depression. It’s also hard for adults with high self-esteem. Overestimating your capabilities leads to conflicts in the family and at work. Failures, even the most minor ones, hurt the psyche, causing disappointment, stress and irritation. Personal life does not work out because such people are accustomed to putting their interests above all else; they are not capable of compromises and concessions. All this can lead to mental and neurotic disorders.
Self-Esteem Functions
The description and content of the functions of personality self-esteem, as a basic concept in psychology, are given in the table.
Functions | Description |
Stimulating | Motivates a person to take actions that can increase self-esteem. |
Post forecast | Blocks actions that may affect self-esteem. |
Regulatory | Ensures that the individual accepts tasks and makes decisions. |
Emotional | Allows a person to satisfy needs and enjoy life. |
Protective | Forms personality stability. |
Controlling | Provides self-control during a person’s performance of tasks and actions. |
Developmental | Motivates for self-development and improvement. |
Self-esteem structure
The self-esteem of a man and a woman consists of several components.
Cognitive component
Self-esteem in psychology includes a cognitive component. These are a person’s beliefs, his way of navigating the world, his breadth of judgment, and his ability to express an opinion about himself. With the help of this component, a person displays what he knows about himself.
Emotional component
This term denotes the emotions that a person experiences towards evaluative characteristics and feelings about this. This component reflects the individual's attitude towards himself.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
By assessing one’s own skills and qualities, a person combines both components of self-esteem; it is impossible to separate them from each other. A person gains individual knowledge about himself during communication with others, then emotions appear depending on how much this communication means for the individual.
Each person's components are formed differently. Psychologists say that they can be developed by:
- High level. The child forms an opinion about himself based on his real qualities.
- Average The average level is characterized by a tendency to inconsistent manifestations of realistic self-esteem. A person is guided in this by the opinions of others, analyzes specific facts and situations.
- Low. This condition is accompanied by an inadequate assessment of the individual’s abilities.
Unstable parameters of self-esteem lead to disruption of self-government and deterioration of self-control.
Self-esteem is formed between the ages of 5 and 9 years. First she is influenced by her parents, later by teachers at school. But in later life, being under the influence of society, the desire for the better, current events, and the attitudes of others, she may fluctuate.
This is noticeable in communication processes; a person cannot establish contact with others and often provokes conflicts.
What influences the formation of self-esteem
Self-esteem is developed in a person from early childhood.
- It matters how parents show their love for their child
. If love is unconditional and does not depend on good behavior, such a child will grow up with normal or high self-esteem. When he understands that he will be loved only for something (put away toys, got an excellent mark, took out the trash), then in adulthood the person will believe that he cannot be loved just like that, and a good attitude must be earned. - The attitude of parents towards the successes and failures of the child plays a big role
. Parents’ value judgments such as “You can handle this”, “Such a smart kid will definitely do it” have a positive role in the formation of self-esteem.
Accordingly, statements in the spirit of: “They don’t ask you”, “You understand a lot”, “Well, as always, you are armless” for many years lay in a person the attitude that he is “bad”, good for nothing, stupid, incompetent, etc.
Self-esteem can decline already in adulthood. For example, a person tries to build a career, works a lot, improves his qualifications, but career growth does not occur. The individual begins to doubt his abilities. If self-esteem was initially normal, the reason for the failure will be found. Low self-esteem can drop even lower.
Women are often deliberately devalued by men with whom they are in intimate relationships. A complex partner deliberately humiliates his wife or girlfriend in order to be able to impose his will on her. The woman begins to be perplexed and analyze what is wrong with her. If her parents instill self-respect and love, then the girl will break up with a toxic partner; if not, she will suffer and prove her need to an unsuitable man.
Formation of self-control and self-esteem
Modern society needs the development and formation of a socially active, active, proactive, and creatively expressed personality. Therefore, it is so necessary to develop the natural inclinations, skills, intellectual abilities and abilities, inclinations and aspirations, the individuality of each little person. The role of self-esteem in the formation of a personality that will meet modern requirements of society is quite important, along with the formation of self-control.
The individual is endowed with a rare ability to control and manage his activities. Through personal experience, through communication with the surrounding society and environment, the subject develops an internal adaptation - self-control, which allows him to act logically and in accordance with the rules.
Self-control as the ability to independently find one’s own mistakes, blunders, inaccuracies, and plan ways to eliminate detected deficiencies. Self-control can be considered one of the methods of developmental and educational control. Control affects the formation of stable attention, the formation of memory and other cognitive properties of the individual.
Self-control is considered to be the understanding and assessment by an individual of personal actions of mental processes and states, which presuppose the presence of a certain standard and the possibility of acquiring data about controlled actions and states.
The conditions for the formation of self-esteem and self-control are to develop in children an understanding of the need to regulate their own behavior, based on learned rules; developing in children the ability to anticipate the results of their actions in connection with emotional disturbances that arise in connection with children's ideas about the significance of future consequences for themselves and the surrounding society based on an analysis of situations from everyday life; formation in children of an understanding of the personal significance of actions that contain moral meaning.
Ways to correct self-esteem
It is imperative to increase self-esteem. It's never too late to learn to love yourself and accept yourself with all your shortcomings. This is a characteristic that can be easily corrected with diligent, targeted practice.
- It is advisable to engage in self-development, gain new knowledge, skills and impressions
. The more the intellect is pumped up and the horizons are broader, the more self-confident a person is. In addition, he becomes an interesting conversationalist and people notice this, are drawn to him, and begin to compliment him. - By the way, about compliments
. Learn to receive them with the air of an English queen. There is no need to justify yourself with the phrase “You look so good!”, It’s better to answer: “It is what it is!”
- You should never overuse excuses
. A person with good self-esteem is confident in himself, so he is responsible for all his actions and has no need to apologize.
- Learn to create a good mood for yourself, smile and praise yourself for any reason.
. Got up from the couch to wash the floor? “What a great fellow I am!” But if you don’t get up, then you don’t need to scold yourself. Say: “Let my gorgeous legs rest a little.”
- Forgive yourself for mistakes, everyone makes them
. You need to get rid of the feeling of guilt; it is aggression directed against yourself.
As you work to improve your self-image, remove yourself from toxic people who criticize and devalue and let them pour their venom elsewhere. When you love yourself, their opinion will become indifferent to you, or you will be able to respond adequately.
Signs of high self-esteem
Now, by analogy, let's highlight the main signs that you have high self-esteem, you were able to raise it, or it was like that (in this case, you are great!).
- You are always confident in yourself, your strengths and capabilities;
- You accept yourself as you are;
- You are not afraid to make mistakes, you learn from them, perceive them as experience, and move on;
- You are calm when you are criticized, you distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism;
- You easily come into contact and find a common language with different people, are not afraid of communication;
- You always have your own point of view on any issues;
- You strive for self-development and self-improvement;
- You tend to achieve success in your endeavors.
The concept of "self-esteem"
The concept of “self-esteem” concerns each of us. Already from the word itself it is clear that a person evaluates himself, that is, he evaluates his personal qualities.
An interesting fact is that the formation of self-esteem is influenced to varying degrees by all sorts of external factors. In the case of low self-esteem, a person faces problems of both everyday and emotional and psychological nature. To avoid all sorts of troubles associated with self-esteem, it is important to achieve harmony with your own Self and become happy.
Causes
Self-esteem is a component of character. Partially it is laid before birth, transmitted with genes from the mother and father. The other part is developed during life under the influence of upbringing and environment.
The reasons for low self-esteem are similar: improper upbringing, reproaches from teachers, appearance that does not meet recognized standards of beauty.
Upbringing
Self-esteem changes during adolescence, and the foundations are formed in early childhood, thanks to the adequate attitude of adults towards the child.
Teenagers with inflated egos grow up in overprotective families. If relatives always emphasize the uniqueness of the child, they cultivate narcissism in him.
Focus on both achievements and mistakes. This way the child will learn to realistically assess his potential and will avoid such mistakes in the future.
Unreasonable positive attitude of teachers and teachers
Teachers tend to find favorites. This will not necessarily be the smartest student. Appearance, sweet smile, manner of conversation - a teacher who does not know a student well is captivated by these qualities.
The student considers himself chosen. In the future, narcissism is expressed more strongly and goes beyond the walls of the educational institution.
Lack of self-testing
Having adequate self-esteem throughout life can lead to becoming a “narcissist” at an older age. This happens when a person suddenly fulfills his own dreams.
He easily enters and graduates from university and finds a prestigious job without any problems. There is confidence in your uniqueness and outstanding abilities. It inflates your ego. And when failure occurs, it is perceived as a personal insult and injustice.
Appearance
People with model appearance tend to consider themselves superior to others. This is especially evident among women. A woman's self-esteem is largely determined by her appearance.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
It is easier for such ladies to get a job and find a partner. Not testing your abilities further increases your self-esteem.
Financial security
When a person does not need anything and gets everything he needs without difficulty thanks to finances, self-esteem goes through the roof. The more money, the easier it is to achieve your goal, the stronger your pride.
Having a rare natural talent
A rare talent increases the distance between a person and others. Such an individual considers himself different from others. If at first this is visible only in the sphere of activity of a narcissistic person, over time, inflated self-esteem determines all actions and decisions.