Article:: Tricks of the tongue: how to quickly change a belief

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Beliefs are internal dogmas that guide our consciousness and actions. For most people, life is subject to strict moral principles that shackle their inner “I” into certain frameworks, preventing them from feeling happy and free. We know in advance what will be right and what will not, what we can do and what is prohibited for us. The most popular area of ​​modern psychology is neurolinguistic programming. It is aimed at changing human consciousness.

Briefly about NLP

This teaching combines the best practices and developments of psychology, psychotherapy and linguistic programming. NLP is focused on teaching a person practical techniques that will improve his life, changing it radically. NLP beliefs will help you begin to evaluate the world without focusing on destructive attitudes. After such therapy a person:

• discovers hidden internal reserves;
• becomes successful in business;
• easily achieves goals;
• finds an approach to people;
• improves personal life.

Let's take a closer look at what neurolinguistic programming is and how, with the help of special techniques, you can change old and destructive beliefs to new attitudes that will lead to success.

From the history of NLP

Neurolinguistic programming was first studied in America in the late 80s of the last century. A group of doctors combined several common psychological techniques aimed at influencing and working with the patient’s subconscious, thereby making a revolutionary discovery. The scientific achievements of such famous psychotherapists as Fritz Perls and Virginia Satir, and linguists John Grinder and Richard Bandler were used.

History of NLP development

NLP is based on the teachings of Milton Erickson, who believed that a person reliably stores all the knowledge and skills accumulated throughout life in his subconscious. Knowing how to use this information correctly, you can easily achieve success and solve any problem. Milton Erickson suggested using memories and feelings to influence your consciousness, thereby causing the desired changes. According to this principle, recovery from serious bodily illnesses occurs when a person not only dreams of being healthy, but, using memories, forces himself to experience these feelings until the body really begins to recover.

Neurolinguistic programming prohibits the use of such a concept as “correct personality” in psychotherapy.

Insisting that no matter how a person behaved in a certain situation, it was the best possible outcome. One model of behavior cannot be considered correct and another is not. There is simply a set of reactions that a person applies in one or another life situation. The main task of neurolinguistic programming is to help choose the most effective model in a particular case.

The essence of NLP

Since NLP is based on hypnosis and Gestalt therapy, by mastering this knowledge you can learn to influence other people.

Neurolinguistic programming techniques are successfully used in acting, public speaking and business management. The fundamentals of NLP have become widely used in advertising, marketing, public communications, politics, journalism and even military affairs.

You can master the techniques of neurolinguistic programming on your own, but it is better to do this with the help of a specialist during a personal consultation or group therapy.

The essence of the technique

Neurolinguistic programming is psychological techniques that help a person succeed in any field. Accustomed to living in accordance with the rules and norms instilled in early childhood, we very rarely use our inner potential to the fullest, which affects the quality of life. A person gets used to working in a job he hates and living with an unloved partner, because he believes that he is unworthy of the best, thereby destroying himself and his life.

Neurolinguistic programming influences a person’s subconscious, changing his internal beliefs, helping him become successful and change the surrounding reality. With the help of NLP techniques, people easily recover from incurable diseases, build a successful career, become famous and financially independent.

NLP Core Beliefs

Before we talk about NLP methods, it is necessary to understand what this concept means. The term consists of three words. Neuro - human actions are controlled by the brain. Neurons reliably store all our feelings, emotions and experiences. Linguistic is a method of communication through which information is transmitted. Programming is a process that activates mental activity. In the depths of consciousness, a person has certain stereotypes and attitudes about how to behave in a given life situation, embedded from childhood.

Neuro-linguistic programming specialists use terms such as map, mind and body.

• Map – denotes the basic techniques and methods of NLP, which comprehensively study human psychology (state of mind, motives for actions, underlying attitudes).
• Consciousness and body are a single concept. Just as the body is controlled by our consciousness, the thought process cannot be imagined without physical activity. All nuances are taken into account: not only a person’s experiences and feelings, but also physical ailments. This is done in order to correctly choose the method of NLP influence (visual, auditory, kinetic).

Belief Structure

So, beliefs are rules for interacting with value. That is, any belief will contain value. What might these rules cover?

Complex equivalents and cause-and-effect relationships

In structure, these can be either complex equivalents (that is, when A equals B) or cause-and-effect relationships (from A follows B).

It is impossible to completely clearly separate these two structures (and in most cases it is not really necessary). But a fairly accurate criterion: the cause-effect will necessarily have a time frame

In speech, complex equivalents and cause-and-effect relationships will be presented in the form of linking words

Beliefs will answer the questions:

— What leads to this value (result)? — What are the consequences of achieving this value? — What are the criteria for this value? — How do you determine this value for yourself?

Reason (P=>C).

- If you work hard, it will lead to success .

Beliefs about reasons tell us what to do in a particular situation to satisfy a given value. Based on beliefs about the reasons, a person actually performs certain actions.

Corollary (C=>C).

— Lack of love in the family leads to divorce.

Consequence helps us define consequences, expectations, and set motivation. We examine these beliefs when we examine environmental issues and examine secondary benefits. We put pressure on them when we try to motivate a person to do something: - If you don’t study well, you will stay for the second year.

Criteria (K=C)

— A good job means a high salary, a good team and an interesting occupation.

Most likely there will be a certain sum of criteria: K1+K2+K3=C

Using criteria, we connect values ​​with the outside world and lower (upper) levels of importance. A question about criteria is a question about the meaning/significance of behavior or satisfaction of value.

Definition (O=C)

— Harmony is a balance between oneself and the world.

This will also include “equating” values ​​among themselves.

— Health is beauty.

These are beliefs about what a given value is or is not. With the help of definitions we connect values ​​with each other. Actually, this is the cement of the card.

BUT!

Quite often in speech, beliefs are skipped and linked together, for example, definition and effect, cause and criteria, criteria and definition, etc. In this case, it is highly desirable to establish the actual value.

— A good family is a loving wife and children. (definition).

- In order for you to have a good family, you need to be able to forgive. (belief about reasons).

These are two beliefs regarding the value of a “good family.” But the equivalent of the second belief might be:

- In order for you to have a loving wife and children , you need to be able to forgive.

In this belief, the value of “a good family” is replaced by its definition of “a loving wife and children,” that is, the definition and the reason are interconnected.

This structure is not complete. At least for most promotions, it is highly desirable to find out the value itself.

Linguistic structure of persuasion

If we consider belief from the point of view of the meta-model, then the complete linguistic structure of belief will look like this: meta-frame of belief [value + statement regarding this value].

Total

Criterion beliefs connect our internal goals with the external world and the lower/upper levels of the hierarchy.

Definitions help us understand what a given value is and relate it to other values ​​(not in a hierarchy).

Causal beliefs tell us what we should do.

Beliefs about consequences - set motivation and help determine the acceptability of given actions.

Neurolinguistic programming capabilities

NLP teaches a person to evaluate himself, his skills and knowledge in a new way, and to perceive the people around him in a completely different way. Neurolinguistic programming techniques cause the following changes in a person’s life:

• improve communication;
• facilitate communication;
• instill new beliefs;
• help you understand yourself and decide on your life goals;
• reveal internal needs;
• relieve old grievances, fears and phobias.

Emotions on which NLP works

Thanks to the use of NLP, a person gains confidence, determination and courage, understands how to achieve what he wants and does not limit himself in achieving his goals. However, for this you constantly need to work on yourself, analyzing and identifying your negative attitudes, getting rid of destructive beliefs.

NLP rules

The first rule of NLP states that a person himself chooses who he wants to be in life. Guided by internal aspirations and beliefs, we decide for ourselves what we are worthy of and what we can achieve, so some become leaders by believing in themselves, while others fail.

The second rule is that when we highlight certain qualities in another person, we want to see them in ourselves. We have had them for a long time, but they are not properly developed, so we do not know how to manifest them. The third and main rule of NLP is that everything in the world flows and changes, and so does man. There is nothing wrong with developing and changing your beliefs, abandoning ingrained principles that interfere with your life.

And the last rule is that all experienced feelings, emotions, fears and impressions are securely stored in a person’s subconscious. NLP techniques will tell you how you can use these reserves to achieve your goals and improve your life.

CONCLUSION

Therefore, now, having some personal experience in what a person’s beliefs are, I understand very well that any of my actions, expressed in words or actions, causes a chain reaction to change my picture of the world and worldview in general.

This means that I have an excellent chance, by reprogramming my beliefs, not only to change, but also to approve a new scenario for my life called fate and actually become its master.

Therefore, taking this opportunity, I wish you, dear reader, to take in your wonderful hands the magic brush of forming personal beliefs and, using the palette of innermost desires, create a unique picture of your Beautiful Destiny on the canvas of the Universe...

I would be very glad if the material in this note turned out to be timely and useful for you, which you can talk about in your comments or share with friends on social networks.

Well, if you subscribe to the newsletter (for which you have special “respect and respect”), then the volume of the neural network in my energy information essence will increase many times over.

Methods for changing beliefs

The principles and foundations instilled in a child during his upbringing, as well as the knowledge accumulated in the process of life, are our beliefs. When making a decision, making an important choice, we focus on the views that are formed on the basis of the upbringing we received, the influence of authorities, the social environment, and instilled stereotypes. A person has established beliefs in any area of ​​life: personal, professional, religious, social and political.

In work, a person operates with the knowledge that he received during training in his chosen profession. In personal life - the experience accumulated in previous relationships and the morality instilled by society.

Practicing NLP psychotherapists distinguish two main types of internal beliefs: deep and limiting.

Deep Beliefs

Developed in childhood or during upbringing. The best example of such beliefs is internal complexes, as well as how a person perceives and evaluates himself. This may be an old childhood fear. When the parents did not raise the child, but only scolded him, he develops the confidence: “I am not worthy of love!”, which will certainly poison his personal relationships in adulthood. A person’s conviction, which carries a negative connotation, shapes his life scenario, contributing to the development of all kinds of fears and complexes, which in adult life make him insecure, soft-bodied and indecisive.

Limiting or subconscious beliefs

A person does not even realize that he has hidden beliefs that adversely affect his life, forcing him to make wrong decisions, experience fear and self-doubt. These views are so ingrained in his subconscious that he believes that this is the only way it can be. Such beliefs manifest themselves in the form of phrases: “I can’t”, “not for me”, “I can’t”, “unworthy”, “it won’t work out”.

Such attitudes program a person in a negative way. Outdated and destructive beliefs interfere and prevent you from living a full and happy life, and therefore need to be changed. Neurolinguistic programming helps you get rid of wrong beliefs.

Working with beliefs is about becoming aware of persistent thoughts and attitudes and using psychological techniques that will help change these principles. If you decide to use Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques, be careful as beliefs can have both positive and negative effects on a person.

CAN WE FORESEE THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE SITUATION IN THE FUTURE?

Have you ever made a prediction about your life that came true? Of course, you will answer, after all, you have a whole life behind you, in which you could not once or twice foresee the outcome of a case, or make a wish that came true, right? Remember the moments in which you were so confident that you declared that the situation would develop exactly the way you thought it would! Sometimes you yourself were surprised at how accurate your predictions were.

The most common form of predictions or prophecies is the desire to know what awaits us in the future, which we transform into our desires. We love to make wishes, and we do this with enviable frequency; New Year's Eve, Christmas and birthdays come to mind - this is not only a time of holidays and joy, it is a time of our desires! Desires are one of the forms of prophecy from which we expect happiness in the future, that is, we predict a favorable outcome of events for ourselves and our loved ones. After all, if we know what we want, it is easier for us to achieve our goals. Such prophecies motivate us and give us strength to cope with reality, because it is not at all the same as in our prophecies.

“If a person defines a situation as real, then it will become real in its consequences”

sociologist William W. Thomas

But predictions can also be negative, or rather, we feel it as a premonition that some event, in our opinion, or based on our previous experience, will have a negative outcome and negative consequences. For example, you, without realizing why, accurately and in the most vivid colors imagine that:

- If you wake up and immediately think - perhaps for no particular reason - that today is going to be a terrible day, this attitude of yours may cause your prediction to come true. You may unknowingly work to confirm your belief by ignoring the positive, reinforcing the negative, and behaving in ways that are unlikely to contribute to an enjoyable day.

- the project you are working on will fail, and you feel how this will negatively affect your career, your hard work will not only not pay off, the project will be destroyed with all the ensuing consequences, because you know that there is no place for people like you in the “major league” of managers.

— the speech you have to give at an extended video conference of your company's executives will be terrible, and when that moment comes, you'll be surprised to find yourself stuttering and muttering something under your breath, forgetting what you need to say next. All this because you are sure that you cannot speak in front of an audience at all.

- you constantly doubt your ability to do your job, because you are not sure that your work is not performed to the required level, you may not spend much time and effort on it, or not do it at all. This results in a lack of practice and experience, which only makes your work even less good, leading to even more self-doubt and even lower self-esteem.

These are the simplest examples of the influence of expectations and beliefs on your possible behavior and on the result in general. When this happens, on a subconscious level, we accept beliefs as reality, putting into practice the phenomenon of a “self-fulfilling prophecy.”

Belief Changing Technique

Changing beliefs using NLP techniques is based on the method of working with the subconscious, which was proposed by the American psychologist Robert Dilts. Let's look at how to use this technique to work with your beliefs.

Calibration (assessment) of a person in NLP

Preparatory stage

First you need to collect and analyze information. Determine which belief is stopping you at this stage of your life. Formulate it. These could be phrases like: “I’m sick all the time!”, “I never succeed!”, “I’m a loser!”, “Love is not for me!”. Record all your doubts and feelings associated with the statement. It is important to understand why a negative attitude prevents you from forming positive thoughts, turning any action into a loss of faith in yourself and your strength.

Imagine what will change in your life when you start thinking differently.

Assess how your acquaintances and friends will react to changes in your behavior. Formulate a new statement. Please note that this phrase must be positive, describing the process by which you will begin to change your life. For example, “I believe in learning to live a healthy lifestyle!” or “Love is present in my life! I love and I am loved!".

How to work with your beliefs? Correct Understanding

Let me remind you that the main goal is to change precisely subconscious beliefs, which determine a person’s fate by more than 80%. This is not very easy for most people (95% of people cannot change their subconscious beliefs at all due to lack of knowledge and lack of mastery of the appropriate techniques).

The essence of this work . The human subconscious is a big and often capricious child. And in order for the subconscious to accept new beliefs and rebuild itself, like a small child, it needs to explain everything clearly, chew it over with examples, arguments, images, and most importantly, with great love. This requires a person to be patient, kind to himself and extremely honest with himself.

You need to work with your subconscious and beliefs with great kindness, like with a beloved child, to whom you, as a parent, patiently explain everything on your fingers, answer all his questions “why?”, carefully monitor whether he has learned everything correctly))

Forcing yourself, driving new beliefs by force, or ordering something to your subconscious will not work! This approach will not work here; it will only compress the springs inside even more.

How do you understand that your subconscious is changing in the right direction? How can we determine that it accepts and understands new ideas and attitudes? As you work on yourself, you feel good: calm, joyful in your heart, internal resistance, tightness, negativity goes away, positive energy is born inside, there is a surge of strength, there is clarity in your thoughts and inner confidence that you are doing everything right (your Soul you supports).

Changing Beliefs Using NLP Techniques

At the second stage, it is necessary to launch the work of the so-called submodalities in the subconscious - channels through which a person receives information about the world around him and the events occurring in it (visual, kinetic, vocal). Smell, color, size and location are signs that help us perceive and distinguish reality.

Now the negative belief needs to be questioned. Perhaps the conclusion you once made in the past is wrong. Using submodalities, replace the destructive attitude with a new belief. In the process of this psychological work on yourself, you need to pay close attention to your inner feelings.

Testing a New Belief

Whether your subconscious has believed in the new belief will be shown by your further behavior. If you are not sure that the NLP technique has worked, it is worth repeating everything again and thoroughly thinking about the new wording of your statement.

The first stage of the technique is considered the most important: how accurately you identify destructive attitudes, their cause and effect, choose words for new statements and believe in success depends on whether you will be able to start a new life. NLP techniques can be used at any age, which is an advantage of this direction in psychology.

HOW TO CHANGE A PERSON'S BELIEFS IN HIS CONSCIOUSNESS

Now, looking back at the very beginning of my experiment, when I began to practice my simple phrase, I can say that it is not only necessary, but simply necessary to correct your own beliefs.

This will allow you to make the necessary changes to your usual picture of the world at will. Moreover, you don’t need to make any special efforts for this: you just need to be attentive, consistent and disciplined in this matter.

Perhaps many of us remember well the role and meaning of the comma in the expression: “Execution cannot be pardoned.” Sometimes it is enough just to change the punctuation mark in the middle or at the end of a sentence to change not only a person’s worldview, but also his entire destiny.

Whenever I free myself from everything old and unnecessary, I thereby make room for new and useful things in my life.

Very often, when I ask my friends about how their business is going, I get the answer: “Nothing...”. Therefore, I draw their attention to the fact that “nothing is just zero,” and ask whether they are satisfied with such an assessment. Most admit that this does not suit them and the next time we meet they react more consciously to the same question.

This is a vivid example of how, for me, in any case, how with just one word you can change your attitude towards the surrounding reality and influence your worldview, and as a result, your entire life. Moreover, do not be content with the role of an outside observer, but become a real Master of Life.

As an addition to my, so to speak, justification, I cannot help but recall one more point from my own observations. Quite often, from the lips of some of my acquaintances, to be honest, and sometimes my own (I confess, I’m a sinner), in a fit of delight, inspiration or surprise, the phrase “flies out”: “Wow?!” I just want to ask: “Nothing at all?”

But in fact, it turns out that the person, with his own lips, refused any good deed for his beloved. How much effort will it now take to destroy the mental image created with your own hands?

It is these mental images that we create throughout our lives that become those personal beliefs that help us or, on the contrary, hinder us in any positive endeavor.

Probably, for a better understanding and representation of such mental images in your mind, the example of the foundation of a building is not very suitable, since this concept is most often associated with something powerful and unshakable. However, you can use a little trick.

To do this, you need to imagine the foundation not as static and monumental, but, on the contrary, as completely dynamic, for example, in the form of an offshore floating platform for an oil rig, made of glass or any transparent material. This will make it much easier to understand exactly how the reality around us is reflected and refracted in it.

And if we replace our transparent foundation in our imagination with a glass ball or prism (in some cases, rose-colored glasses may be suitable), then we can even practice for some time how to look at the world around us and perceive it in a new way.

It is clear that all these belief images are present in the human mind in the main or background mode. Therefore, in order to change them and use them for your benefit, you need to very slightly change your view and angle of view on familiar and well-known concepts, so that the whole picture of the world as a whole changes.

In fact, no matter how difficult and hopeless the situation may seem at first glance, it immediately ceases to be so when it is possible to only slightly change the view of the problem. In this case, not a trace remains of her hopelessness.

This, for example, happens when a person all his life believed that money was evil, and therefore did not have it, and then suddenly realized that it was just a tool for creating a new prosperous reality, and received everything he dreamed of. Thus, he actually reprogrammed his mental image and turned from a financial antagonist into a money magnet.

NLP methods of influencing other people

Neurolinguistic programming has been successfully used not only for individual growth, but also to influence others. Similar psychological techniques are often used in practice:

• managers and owners of large companies;
• politicians;
• creative people (artists, singers, media persons).

Using NLP techniques, you can change the beliefs of colleagues, friends and acquaintances, making them share your point of view. Neurolinguistic programming will help you achieve approval and support in the team, as well as build personal relationships.

There are several most common NLP techniques that will help make a person change his beliefs.

Copy person

This technique will easily help you win the affection of another person. It consists in fully reflecting all the actions of your interlocutor, from the manner of dressing, conducting a conversation, and ending with joint hobbies. You will signal to the person you are interested in that you not only have the same goals, views and hobbies, but also a worldview and life position.

• The techniques that psychologists advise to use are not difficult to implement.
• When talking to your opponent, maintain eye contact with him the entire time.
• Let's understand that you are listening carefully to the person, supporting the conversation with head nods.
• Take the same position as your interlocutor. This simple technique will create a sense of community and belonging between you.

Manipulation

This technique is most often used to influence others. Manipulation makes it easy to achieve what you want using special psychological techniques. During communication, you can suggest to a person whatever you want.

The essence of basic NLP terms

First you need to determine the submodality of a person.

• If the main way to obtain information is a visual picture, then in a conversation it is necessary to say the following phrases: “great prospect”, “hard to imagine”, “I can foresee”.
• If your interlocutor is an auditory speaker, the priority words should be changed to: “I focus attention”, “I fall silent”, “piercing result”.
• When communicating with a kinesthetic learner, use the following phrases: “I feel”, “grab the idea”, “give an award”.

Such expressions will help convey information to the interlocutor in a way that he understands, facilitate communication and make the person support your idea, changing his initial opinion.

Apply the so-called hypnotic gaze. To do this, you should concentrate, without blinking, look at the center of the bridge of your interlocutor’s nose. After successful hypnosis, your opponent will support you and give up his beliefs. You can also build a conversation so that the interlocutor gives you a positive answer 3 times in a row. Then feel free to ask for what you need.

Gypsies often use manipulation to influence people. Attracting attention with their bright appearance, gestures and demeanor, they distract a person and force him to perform actions unusual for him. You can borrow this technique to suggest what you want.

Another NLP manipulation technique is called “pattern breaking.” It consists in showing yourself in the most unexpected way in standard situations. To the question: “How are you?” Instead of the usual phrase - “As usual!”, answer - “Excellent!” While your interlocutor is confused, you can influence him.

How to Change Your Beliefs (Part 1)

Author: Sergey Prisyazhny

Our motivations are the driving force behind our actions. When you are able to internalize positive beliefs, your life will begin to move in the direction of fulfilling your dreams and desires. Your beliefs are your support and motivation.

Several frogs were traveling through the swamp. Two of them fell into a deep hole. The rest of the frogs gathered around. Seeing how deep this hole was, they told the two unlucky frogs that their fate could be put to rest.

At first, both frogs did not pay attention to the hopeless words of their friends and tried to jump out of the hole.

Eventually, one of the frogs believed that their situation was hopeless and gave up. She fell and died...

What happened to the other frog?

Motivation: driving force

Our motivations are the driving force behind our actions. Some people live with positive, motivating, helpful, energetic beliefs. They believe that they are able to win and overcome all obstacles. They believe that everything happens for a reason. They know they are wanted.

Champions in sports live with the same beliefs. They are absolutely and unconditionally convinced that they can win. They mentally prepare themselves for success. They tell themselves positive, motivating words. They praise themselves for their success. They believe that they are winners by nature.

When you are able to internalize positive beliefs, your life will begin to move in the direction of fulfilling your dreams and desires. Your beliefs are your support and motivation.

Strengthening motivations: fertile soil

Strengthening motivations nourish, revitalize and enrich your nature, just as fertile soil fills plants with vitality. Such beliefs are like the sweetest music to your ears. They shed light on everything you do.

Success in life is possible only with strengthening motivations. People who master this art are convinced of their own strength, success and attractiveness. They believe that they bring joy and light into other people's lives and find those around them interesting.

Limiting motivations: rocky slope

Some motivations are limiting and debilitating. Let me give you an example. If you believe that you are unattractive, you will act on this belief and therefore become less attractive to others. If you believe that you will never win the person you are interested in, then so be it.

Our views greatly influence our lives. This is a kind of prophecy that is fulfilled unconditionally. Although how many times did it seem to you that nothing was in your power, nevertheless, you completely succeeded. But when this happens, people tend to forget about it. Limiting beliefs are like a rocky slope. They do not allow you to grow and move upward towards the sun. They are ruining you.

Motivations and Beliefs are Just Stories

Beliefs, like jokes, are just stories, stories. Unfortunately, many jokes create harmful, limiting beliefs. Consider, for example, this story: “Men are like fine wine. They grow like beautiful grapes, and our job is to squeeze all the juices out of them and keep them in a dark cellar until they turn out to be something that will be pleasant to dine with ... "

We laugh at such a joke, but it forms certain beliefs in us, in accordance with which we subsequently act. You probably know a lot of women who are convinced that men should cheat and train them to make them what they want.

History of motivation

“Your reasons arose from the fact that you had parents, were born and went to school.”

Richard Bandler

Where do our motivations come from? From the moment you are born until you are two years old, you are completely innocent and act in accordance with your natural instincts. You are curious, playful and cheerful. You believe that anything is possible.

At the age of three, a child slowly but surely begins to internalize other people's beliefs, both good and bad. Children are like sponges - they don't discriminate, they perceive everything. And many adults retain this quality!

Let's compare the child's beliefs with the adult's beliefs.

Which beliefs seem more positive to you?..

Changing motivations

“The greatest discovery of our time is that man, by changing the inner state of his mind, can change the outer aspect of his life.”

William James

If you feel like you are living with limiting motivations, become aware of it. You can change. You've already done it! You have to believe that you don't believe it anymore. You once believed in Santa Claus. And now?

“The teacher told me this, so it’s true!..”

Dennis Whiteley, a psychologist, wrote about an experiment conducted on children's belief systems. Teachers were told to tell the class that children with brown eyes are smarter than those with blue eyes. Soon a test was carried out, as a result of which children with brown eyes showed the best results. Blue-eyed children, even those who previously studied best, failed.

Then the teachers had to tell the children that they had made a mistake: that blue-eyed children were much smarter than brown-eyed children. In the next test, the blue-eyed ones regained their lost positions. And the brown-eyed children, who successfully passed the previous test, were unable to cope with the second task, although it was not more difficult.

The children changed their own belief system because they believed their teachers unconditionally. The teacher is always right!

As a child grows up, he hears many statements from adults, which subsequently become the basis for his beliefs. And these beliefs can be empowering and limiting. I'll tell you about Svetlana and Tatyana. Look how differently they felt about their freckles.

Stories of Svetlana and Tatyana:

Svetlana considered herself ugly because of her freckles. She constantly applied a thick layer of makeup to her face to hide this cosmetic defect. Tatyana, on the contrary, liked her freckles. She believed that the sensual tongue of freckles made her look younger and sexier. Tatyana never used makeup. What is the difference between these two girls?

Once in childhood, Svetlana’s mother told her daughter: “You are a pretty girl, Sveta, but you will never become a beauty, because you are covered in freckles...”

Tatyana’s father always hugged his daughter and called her “little, sunny princess.” He told his daughter that every freckle is a blessing from the angels. Freckles are a sign that her life will be happy and cheerful, much happier and more cheerful than the life of people deprived of this gift from heaven.

Svetlana and Tatyana absorbed the beliefs of their parents, and this influenced their opinion of their own beauty.

Have you ever had beliefs in your life that were then translated into reality? Did they limit your capabilities?

I remember how I did so poorly in mathematics at school that I considered it completely impossible for myself to comprehend this inexplicable science. It is these beliefs that prevent people from making progress. Once they failed, someone in authority told them that they would not succeed, and they became convinced of their own weakness and the impossibility of doing something new and interesting. Anyone can learn math, some of us just need a more caring teacher.

Naturally, each of us has certain limitations. Sometimes we have physical limitations. You may believe that you are too old to become a champion. But your children may well realize your unrealized dream! Not a bad replacement, right?

So try to take the time to let go of these limiting beliefs that you have been told about. Forget about what you can't do. Give free rein to your dreams. Think about what you want. I am sure you will be able to believe in your own strength. This is your chance!

The following exercises will help you change the beliefs that limit your capabilities into more helpful and positive ones.

Surely you have confidence in your own abilities. Now let's make them more positive and useful for later life.

Exercise 1: Be aware of your views.

• Think about how you would like to think about yourself...
• Write a sentence stating this belief. Start with the words: “I can...” or “I am...”
• Now tell yourself; “I am quite capable of... (doing, becoming)”
• Think about a person who thinks he is what you just thought...
• Think about how the person you have chosen as a model behaves, how he moves, how he acts...
• Try to take his pose...
• Replay the sentence you have formulated in your mind over and over again...
• How do you feel with your newly acquired belief?...
• How did your posture change after you acquired a new belief?..
• Will your appearance change after introducing a new belief into your consciousness?..
• Say your new belief out loud in front of the mirror...
• Keep looking at your reflection. This is a man who has acquired new beliefs...

The more often you do this exercise, the faster your body will get used to the sensations caused in it by a new belief, the sooner you will believe that it is really true. And one day your belief will come true!

Get rid of harmful and unhelpful beliefs

Over the years, you have absorbed and unconsciously developed various motivations. If you don't like them, you can totally get rid of them. No one can say that this is the law! Of course, I don't mean to say that you can get rid of the statement that stealing is wrong. Such beliefs are intended to maintain social harmony. I'm talking about the things related to your personality, the things that prevent you from flirting, being charming, communicating effectively, and enjoying life in all its aspects.

Ask yourself, are your beliefs serving you?

If others are trying to convince you of something that doesn't make you feel comfortable, you can either reject their attempts or rework their words so that they benefit you - and make you feel good and comfortable.

Exercise 2. Analysis of beliefs.

When you begin to analyze beliefs, they weaken...

Make a list of your beliefs and write it down. Then analyze each one by asking yourself the following questions:

• Does this belief help me to be who I am?..
• Does this belief help me make my dreams come true?..
• Does this belief help me to treat myself well and lovingly?..

If you answer “YES”, continue to cultivate this belief in yourself and do not pay attention to the criticism and comments of others.

If you answered NO, great! Now you know what you need to get rid of.

Limiting Beliefs

To push you to further development, I offer you several options for replacing the limiting beliefs developed by the training participants.

As you become aware of your limiting beliefs, you can change them. Try answering the question:

“What is stopping you from being more successful in life?..”

How do you answer this question? Do you have limiting beliefs? Would you like to get rid of them?

Exercise 3. Getting rid of limiting beliefs.

Make a list of beliefs that limit your capabilities using the following phrases:

• I was…
• I used to…
• I did not have…
• I could not…
• Examples;
• I was afraid of rejection...
• I used to think I was too fat...
• I had no confidence in my own abilities...
• I couldn't think of what to say...

Using the past tense will allow you to start thinking of those beliefs as being a thing of the past! Now ask yourself other questions:

• How did this belief influence my life?..
• How did it limit my capabilities?..
• What's wrong with this belief?..
• What emotional burden did I carry because of this belief?..

Take a close look at the list you've made and recognize the harm these beliefs are causing you.

Stop! Enough pain! The moment has come when you need to stop living in the past and writhing in pain. Move forward. Ask yourself what the future holds for you...

Exercise 4. Reframing irrational judgments.

Take your irrational judgment and insert it into the following sentences. Then say them out loud and try to fully imagine what you will say - its entire meaning.

• “Primakov shook Yeltsin’s hand and said...”
• “Falling into the lake, the old woman managed to say...”
• “The best way to ruin your life is to claim that...”
• “The dog looked at the food with hungry eyes and thought...”
• "The veterans' choir sings..."
• “It was written on the bank doors...”
• “Little Red Riding Hood jumped out of the wolf’s belly and said...”
• “At the demonstration, a worker carried a banner...”
• “Burn the note that says...”
• “...” said the madman to his roommate”
• “...” said the elephant, looking at the mouse.”
• “Chapaev stood up in the saddle and shouted...”
• “And now Maya Plisetskaya will perform a dance...”
• “Pinocchio opened his eyes and uttered his first words...”
• “Today in the theater the opera “Juno and Avos” is being replaced by a play...”
• “Summoning Stirlitz to him, Muller said...”
• "Paul McCartney took the microphone and began to sing..."
• “Climbing out of the burnt car, the senator noticed...”
• "No one will hear if I say..."
• "Hamlet drew his sword and said to Laertes..."
• “Having grasped the live wire, the electrician exclaimed...”
• “They brought the statue of the pharaoh to life, and it said...”
• “Looking down the barrel of a machine gun, the hostage thought...”
• “It was written on the wall in the women’s restroom...”
• “Chuck Norris broke his skis every time with the words...”
• “Passing in front of the line of prisoners, the camp commandant thought...”
• “When powder is poured into the washing machine, it thinks...”
• “Having dodged the slipper, the cockroach thought...”
• “One prostitute complained to another...”

How do you feel after work?

Internal reactions:

• lightness, relaxation, easier breathing, more attractive content picture...

External reactions:

• pinking of the skin, changes in breathing, muscle tension...

Exercise 5: Forming Strengthening Beliefs.

This exercise will help you form new, strengthening beliefs.

Find a place where you won't be disturbed. Take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. In the left column, write down old beliefs that are left in the past. Formulate them in the past tense. Ask yourself what new, empowering belief you would like to replace them with.

Once you realize a new, reinforcing belief, write it in the right column, opposite the old one. Ask yourself how your new belief will benefit you and how it will improve your life.

Example:

By doing this exercise, you will begin to develop a new attitude towards yourself. Do it every time you begin to feel that some belief is limiting your capabilities.

One day at one of the groups, a participant realized that she was too unsure of herself. She limited herself with a lack of faith in her own strength and fear of change. She felt that she could not realize her dreams. And then she developed a set of positive beliefs for herself that were completely opposite to what she believed at the time. Her list of motivations looked like this:

• "I believe in myself…"
• "I'm ready to take risks..."
• “I am calm and balanced...”

Although she didn't believe her own words, she wanted to believe. She repeated them every day until she became accustomed to the constant repetition of these wonderful truths. She repeated them constantly, day after day. She breathed life into these words. The more often you repeat what you want to believe, the faster it will come true.

What is stopping you from creating the same wonderful list for yourself?

I wish you success!
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NLP tricks

People who master the tricks of the language of persuasion can easily gain favor and trust with the help of NLP, ensuring that their interlocutor changes his opinion about something.

Start the conversation with a positive. Let this be a simple fact known to everyone. Hearing familiar information, a person will relax and open to communication. Use a distraction to gain support. Offer your opponent several possible options to choose from that can solve the problem that has arisen, and then feel free to propose the idea that you are promoting. During the conversation, ask all questions in the affirmative. This technique will create the illusion that a positive response has already been received, and the interlocutor will have no choice but to support you.

If you decide to use NLP techniques, remember that the other person is a unique individual. To understand the motives of other people's actions, try to study their desires and beliefs.

Neuro-linguistic programming should not be used to cause harm.

The benefits and harms of the technique

Just a few years ago, neurolinguistic programming was not considered a serious science. Today the situation has changed dramatically. NLP is recognized in many countries around the world. The effectiveness of the teaching has been proven in practice in many countries: France, Germany, Austria and Sweden. NLP has been recognized by the European Society of Psychotherapy, but there is still a group of scientists who consider neuro-linguistic programming a “fraudulent” science. There is ongoing debate about the ethics of using neurolinguistic programming techniques, which, once you master the basics, can help you gain control over the consciousness of another person.

To independently study NLP techniques, you can use books published by famous psychotherapists, videos, webinars and online courses available on the Internet. But you will get faster results if you attend a training on this topic. The coach will tell you how to correctly use neurolinguistic programming methods, help you identify incorrect beliefs and formulate new attitudes.

The technique of neurolinguistic programming can be compared to an ordinary kitchen knife. Someone will use this tableware to prepare food. In the hands of a bad person, a knife can turn into a murder weapon.

Neuro-linguistic programming is strictly contraindicated for some people, as it can be harmful to their health. These psychological techniques should not be used by those who have nervous disorders or any developmental disorders, as well as by children with fragile psyches.