Why relieve your interlocutor’s emotional stress?
People are not machines.
Any information that we exchange is perceived against an emotional background, which usually does not interfere with communication.
We can negotiate, give orders, receive tasks, negotiate.
But if emotions run high, we lose the ability to communicate constructively.
Emotions “block” the channel of information exchange, so until the “normal” emotional background is restored, communication will be difficult.
You will not be able to agree on anything until the interlocutor is in a state of readiness to perceive your speech.
To achieve this, you need to be able to cope with emotions and create conditions for communication even in a conflict situation.
Causes
Most psychologists are inclined to believe that the reasons leading to such experiences are of 2 types:
- external,
- internal.
Internal reasons include the problem of inability to express emotions and experience them within oneself. Most people faced with this problem are prone to pessimism or have weak motivation and ingrained complexes. The initial effects may appear as mild internal tension and discomfort, but if this condition is prolonged, it can develop into a dangerous form of mental or physical illness.
People who have experienced deterioration in health due to psycho-emotional stress most often suffer from problems of the cardiovascular system. Cardiologists, while studying the problem, concluded that people who cannot cope with such an emotional illness are at risk, since the likelihood of coronary heart disease and atherosclerosis, as well as periodic hypertension (hypertension), increases. When emotional stress reaches a critical level, along with a change in the rhythm of cardiac activity, the blood supply also changes.
It is important to understand that in moments of strong internal experiences there is a colossal load on the heart, sometimes leading to irreversible consequences.
External causes include stress factors—incidents that lead to the experience of acute negative emotions. These are situations that directly affect a person’s private life. They are associated with those locations to which the greatest amount of time is devoted and whose psychological climate is most important for emotional comfort. Mostly these are everyday problems, work environment, relationships with loved ones and relatives, interpersonal conflicts that have not been resolved for a long time.
Non-verbal techniques for reducing emotional stress
Technique 1. Give the other person a chance to talk.
Don’t try to shout down, interrupt, or “chat.”
Conducting a conversation in a raised voice, especially while shouting, requires a lot of nervous tension.
Once the person has said everything he was going to say, you will have time to say everything you want and he will be ready to hear you.
Until he says everything he planned to say, or gets tired of pouring out his emotions, any attempt to interrupt will cause even greater aggression.
Technique 2: Listen carefully
Try to establish and maintain eye contact with your partner, nod, lean or lean forward, implicitly “join” - take the same position as your interlocutor.
Technique 3. Close the distance
At a social distance (0.5-1.2 m), it is difficult to have a conversation in a raised voice.
Boxers close the distance so that the opponent does not have room to swing when striking, close people hug each other to calm them down.
Smile, touch, lean in.
Electronic means of communication depersonalize communication - it’s easy to write something rude in an email, messenger or correspondence on a social network, say something unpleasant on the phone and hang up.
It is more difficult to decide on the same during personal communication.
If a conflict arose during correspondence or telephone communication, arrange a personal meeting.
Technique 4. Create spatial comfort for communication
If your opponent is standing, stand up; if he is sitting, sit down.
If there is an obstacle separating it - a table, a chair, a counter - remove it or go around it.
Suggest sitting at an acute or 90-degree angle.
If possible, sit next to him.
Ways to quickly relieve psycho-emotional and muscle tension
“The human mind is such that it can make hell heavenly and heaven hell”
D. Milton, “Paradise Lost”
Emotional tension is often confused with stress, although these concepts should be separated. We can say that emotional tension is the cause, but the state of stress is the consequence. Emotions, undoubtedly, decorate our lives and make it more complete. Joy, love, surprise, gratitude - all these are emotions that we experience constantly. It’s good if a person knows how to throw out his emotions from time to time. Someone goes to a psychologist to talk about their difficulties, about what is “boiling.” Someone shares their problems, fears and grievances with friends and loved ones. But how can you cope with tension if you are left alone with yourself? I offer 10 express methods for relieving mental stress, accessible to everyone.
- Deep breathing exercises
Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose, filling your stomach and then your chest with air. Slowly count to four 1-2-3-4. Go at your own pace. Exhale through your mouth as slowly as possible, pursing your lips as if you are about to whistle. When your lungs feel empty, count to four again. Start the exercise again and repeat 3-4 times.
- Quick relaxation
In a stressful situation, the ability to quickly relax. At the beginning, you will need to apply the previous method of relieving emotional stress, deep breathing exercises two or three times, counting the inhalation and exhalation to yourself... After achieving general relaxation, you need to feel all the muscles of your body. Focus on your facial expression and body position. If you feel excessive muscle tension in any part of the body (for example, in the right arm), then tense and then relax various muscle groups in this part of the body (tighten and relax the biceps, forearm muscles, etc.). Try to feel your body and how it relaxes. This technique can also be practiced in an imaginary stressful situation. Repeat the exercise once a week.
- Concentration
For this exercise, it is good to concentrate on the things that surround you at the moment. Look around and carefully examine the room you are in. Concentrate on broadcasting the same color, for example, remember everything is white. Fix the color white with the association of white milk, white clouds, etc. Afterwards, collect all the items one by one, stopping at each item separately. Exercise will help you take your mind off emotional stress. Attention will be diverted to the rational perception of the environment.
- A change of scenery
A change of environment is a good help to relieve stress. If you are in a bad mood, feel tense, or the situation is depressing, then leave the room where acute stress occurred. You can just go outside, if you can, take a walk in the park, where you can be alone with your thoughts. Look around, see what surrounds you, observe nature. If it's the weekend, then be sure to go out into nature (when the weather permits), go to the movies, meet friends, do something unusual.
Be sure to plan an unforgettable trip on your vacation. The trip will allow you to meet new people and immerse yourself in a new culture. Unfamiliar places allow you to see the world around you in all its glory. Be sure to take a notepad and camera with you. Observe everything new and write down everything that comes to mind. New impressions will prolong the positive emotions from the trip for a long time.
- Relaxation
Lie on your back. Concentrate on your breathing. Slowly relax your body. Begin to inhale slowly through your nose. Fill the lower chest, then the middle and upper chest and lungs. Remember to do this slowly. Hold your breath for a second or two. Then you need to calmly and easily release the air. Wait a few seconds and repeat the exercise. Imagine that you are in a calm situation, surrounded by palm trees and a warm, gentle ocean. You can continue this breathing technique as long as you like until you feel sleepy.
- Abstraction
Engage in some kind of activity - no matter what: start washing clothes, washing dishes or cleaning. It doesn't matter, any activity you choose will help you take your mind off things.
- Music
Choose your favorite quiet, soothing music. Make yourself comfortable and listen in a relaxed environment.
- Arithmetic
Calculate how many days are left until the significant days in your life. For example, how many days are left until your birthday, until the significant dates in your life that you are waiting for. Good memories, when they were, and how much has passed since then.
- Communication
Talk about an abstract topic with anyone you know. He may be next to you, or you can call him on the phone. This will give you a distraction at this stage.
- Warm shower
Warm water has a relaxing effect on the muscles, thereby relieving tension. Water jets also promote relaxation and relaxation through a gentle massaging effect. The shower can also be contrasting, it all depends on your personal preferences.
All these recommendations will help you quickly get rid of psycho-emotional stress and allow you to look at the world from a different perspective. Don't let your emotions rule your life. Remember that it depends only on you whether your life will be a continuous holiday or a series of failures.
List of used literature:
When preparing the article, data from Internet resources was used.
Timoshenko G., Leonenko E., “Working with the body in psychotherapy.”
Prepared by psychotherapist D.A. Ignatovich,
medical and psychological department
Speech techniques for reducing emotional stress
Technique 1. If you are a stranger, say your name and find out the name of the person you are talking to.
Try to say the name of your interlocutor as often as possible during the conversation.
Calling by name does not allow communication to become depersonalized.
It is much easier to insult a stranger than someone you know, even if only for a few seconds.
Technique 2: Adjust the pace of the conversation
Slightly tighten the rhythm and tempo of your speech; if the interlocutor speaks too quickly and emotionally, pause in speech.
Calm, measured speech is difficult to “load” with emotions.
Technique 3. Make it clear that you understand the importance of the problem and are ready to resolve it.
Tell your interlocutor about this.
Technique 4. Emphasize the importance of the interlocutor.
Be prepared to say that you value him and his opinion and relationship are very important to you.
Technique 5. Tell about your well-being, the state that the interlocutor’s words caused, if his status is higher, his position is stronger than yours
“I’m sorry, I’m offended, I’m unpleasant...”
Technique 6. Tell about the state and well-being of the interlocutor, if his status is lower, his position is weaker than yours
“I understand how unpleasant and offensive it is for you... I understand that you are disappointed...”
Technique 7. Address the facts - without emotion, talk through all the details of the situation that caused the conflict
"Let's figure out what happened..."
Technique 8. Offer a specific way out of the current situation
If this is not possible, promise to find him as soon as possible.
Ask your interlocutor what way out of the situation he considers the best.
It is not necessary that you accept it - the main thing is that your communication partner will be forced to control his emotions, otherwise it will be difficult for him to collect his thoughts.
Technique 9. Find and highlight something in common
It could be a similarity of interests, opinions, goals, or even just a desire to quickly cope with the situation in which you find yourself - unity is very important.
If “we” means “ours”, and ours cannot but agree.
Technique 10. Acknowledge that the other person is right about what he is right about.
If you know that the current situation is your fault, immediately admit it.
This will not change the situation, but the opponent will have fewer reasons for overly emotional communication.
He no longer needs to prove that he is not guilty and convince you to admit that you are wrong; he will be ready to discuss the problem on its merits.
Reviews and comments
You can express your opinion about the article, relaxation exercises, as well as share your own knowledge on the topic and experience, using the comment form.
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Key words:1Psychoregulation
Face-saving techniques
What to do when you are insulted? How to respond with dignity, maintaining inner peace and not losing face?
Technique 1. “External consent”
When someone says something unpleasant and offensive to you, it is assumed that you will lose control of yourself and reciprocate.
Or you will begin to prove to him that he is wrong and his words are unfair.
The phrase “maybe you are right” does not mean that you agree, everyone understands this, but it deprives the interlocutor of the right to continue the verbal attack.
In any case, it is obvious that repeating it is useless.
Technique 2. “Repetition”
Saying out loud what your interlocutor told you in the heat of the moment is very useful.
It is unlikely that anyone who is already prepared to hear “You are a fool!” ready to hear your words and ready to respond to them.
Even if he has a large vocabulary, constantly hearing the echo of his words without getting the desired result in the form of an emotional reaction is unlikely to please his opponent.
Technique 3. “Clarification”
"Do you really think so? Why?
Technique 4. “Part of my personality”
Someone doesn't like something about you.
Recognize that this is acceptable. But this is your personal quality that belongs to you, so someone else’s judgment about it does not affect you.
“Yes, I work slowly. But I try to do everything without mistakes, so I double-check my work.”
Relaxation
The goal is to realize, find and relieve muscle tension; learn muscle control.
"Tension-relaxation"
Stand up straight, focus on your right arm and tense it. After a few seconds, release the tension. Do the same with your left hand, then with both at the same time. After - with the right leg, left leg, both legs, lower back, neck.
"Muscle Energy"
- Bend your right index finger as much as possible (without damaging it).
- Feel where the tension goes. The finger itself, the hand, the elbow, the neck?
- Now try to gradually ease the tension: in the neck, shoulder, elbow. But the finger is still bent and tense.
- Release tension from your other fingers. We don't touch the index finger.
- Managed? Release the tension from your index finger.
- Do the same with your left leg (press your heel into the floor, do not overdo it).
- Where does the tension go? Gradually relax, as in the case of a finger.
- After this, tense your back. I will make a reservation that this exercise is not suitable for people with a bad back (hernia, osteochondrosis). If your back is healthy, then bend over and imagine that a box is placed on your back.
- Where does the tension go? Gradually relax your entire body, last but not least your back.
