Who is an introvert?
An introvert (from the German introvertiert - “turned inward”) is a person who is focused primarily on his own inner world, is not inclined to meet people and communicate , and prefers to spend most of his time alone. To those around him, he looks closed and distant, “squeezed” in communicating with new people, and feels uncomfortable in large companies.
Once they get to know each other and overcome barriers, introverts often turn into pleasant and interesting interlocutors, since they tend to spend a lot of time thinking. They read a lot, constantly engage in self-education, thanks to which they are very erudite and can communicate on almost any topic.
An important feature of introverts is their ability to be good friends. They are usually reluctant to let new people near them, so making friends with them is not easy. But if you succeed, have no doubt that you have found a reliable and devoted friend. And once you know better who he is, you will find that he is an interesting, talented and multifaceted person.
I hope someone present took their pet with them.
Yes, introverts do not hate others (at least not more often than everyone else). But sometimes they feel much more comfortable in the company of our smaller brothers. A dog won't judge you because you never got into university, won't force you to talk about the weather and politics, or take pictures with it. Sometimes this is exactly what an introvert's ideal interlocutor should be.
The main characteristics of an introvert
Let's look at a list of the most typical signs of an introvert. You can use it to determine whether your new acquaintance is an introvert, or you want to finally determine whether you belong to this personality type.
- There is no desire for new acquaintances
. There is no need to think that introverts are unsociable. They just don’t strive to expand their social circle; family and friends are enough for them. - In a large company there is no desire to communicate
. Introverts are good at articulating thoughts and are excellent conversationalists. But if they happen to get into a big company, they prefer to remain silent for fear of being the center of attention. - Large crowds cause discomfort
. For people with this type of character, being in large crowds of people is real torture. Finding himself at a party or in a noisy establishment with friends, an introvert looks forward to the “end of the banquet.” - Exams and interviews cause fear
. Communication with strangers is already discomfort. And the fear of failure multiplies negative emotions. Therefore, any exams and interviews cause a lot of stress for an introvert. - Honesty and loyalty are of utmost importance
. If an introvert considers a person a friend, he values him highly and does not seek benefits in this relationship. His friendship can be considered the most sincere and devoted. - Telephone conversations are tiring and annoying
. Isn't it easier to send a text message? - All plans are well thought out
. An extrovert tends to make spontaneous decisions. After going out to buy bread, he can meet friends and go to the club. An introvert is not inclined to change plans, and even a meeting with close friends should be planned in advance.
When slowness is an advantage
A 2008 study published in the Journal of Motor Behavior found that introverts take longer to process information than extroverts. According to Jennifer Kahnweiler, this is because they have a more reflective mindset than extroverts—they take extra time to understand ideas before moving on to new ones.
“While most people are often overwhelmed with thoughts about goals and how to achieve them, introverts can achieve even more if they hone their inherent skills and abilities,” says Beth Bulow, author of The Introverted Entrepreneur: How to Leverage Your Strengths sides and achieve success on your own terms.”
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“It’s not about artificially trying to become an extrovert. This really involves recognizing the valuable traits that introverts have,” says Beth Bulow. Here are some advantages of this psychotype that few people realize.
What is the difference between an introvert and an extrovert?
These two concepts were introduced by the author of analytical psychology, Carl Jung. According to his definition, introverts are focused on their own inner world, and extroverts are focused on the outer world. The difference between these two personality types is significant. Some people need solitude, others constantly need communication.
Most people are extroverts (to varying degrees). They constantly strive to communicate, look for new acquaintances, love to be the center of attention (telling jokes in noisy companies, singing karaoke). There are much fewer introverts - about 20% of the population. They would prefer to be alone, to be alone with nature, to calmly think about their next idea or plans for life.
A characteristic feature of introverts is a high level of responsibility. They strive to be punctual and take any task extremely seriously. In most non-public speaking activities, introverts tend to be valuable and productive employees.
It is important to consider that personality type is almost impossible to change. You can work with a personal psychotherapist for a long time, get rid of complexes and increase sociability. But you still won’t be able to become a real extrovert.
When to wear the extrovert mask
According to psychologists, a child is born with an already formed personality. Its features are determined by several factors:
- genetic predisposition;
- brain function;
- properties of the nervous system.
And yet, despite this, a person can adapt to the environment and expand his capabilities. For example, the likelihood of an introvert becoming an extrovert is close to zero. However, any introvert can learn to be more sociable, engage in small talk and speak in public.
Sometimes introverts hide their inner world from others for many years. It's wrong to do that. It is better, if circumstances allow, to remain yourself. Of course, we need to change. However, this should only be done temporarily.
You shouldn't put on the extrovert mask just to satisfy someone else's ego. An introvert needs it only in exceptional cases:
- for truly important projects;
- for loved ones;
- for what is of the highest value in life.
And even here it is important to exercise prudence and moderation, not forgetting about yourself and your needs.
Introverts don’t need to break character or do something they don’t like for too long. Such violence against a person will not lead to anything good. If it is not possible to change the situation, you should find a way to restore vital energy. This could be a walk alone in a nearby park or a short break during the work day.
How to communicate with an introvert?
If you want to build a friendly or romantic relationship with such a person, try to follow a few rules that will help you not push him away:
- Be laconic , try not to tell unnecessary details that are not related to the current conversation;
- Allow him to have privacy periodically , do not force yourself when he has made it clear that he wants to be alone. If you correctly understand who an introvert is, then you know that the desire to be alone is natural for him and does not mean that he is tired of your company;
- Avoid quarrels. Introverts are naturally low-conflict people, and unpleasant conversations make them very uncomfortable. If you regularly sort things out, don't be surprised when he starts avoiding you. However, introverts are always ready for constructive dialogue without unnecessary emotions.
- Always mean what you say. If a person with an introverted personality type calls you a friend, it means that your opinion is important to him. An unfortunate phrase thrown in casually can offend him and push him away;
- Don't make him jealous. Introverts often fall in love with extroverts because they feel they are a source of positivity. But it’s unpleasant for them to watch how their “half” gives away this positivity to others;
- Do not express distrust. Knowing who an introvert is, you must understand that he is extremely sincere with dear people, therefore he painfully perceives any mistrust and doubts.
- Don't make fun of him. Believe me, he will not appreciate the humor associated with ridicule;
- Appreciate his attention. If he chose you, it is important to him that you feel good with him. Show that this is so;
- Don't push him away if you're not ready to lose him forever. He is ready to resolve most conflict situations immediately. If you manage to push him away, there is a high risk that he will not return.
I need people around me right now, but I don't want to talk to anyone.
It is because of this thought that introverts are very careful when choosing people to communicate with. Yes, being friends with or dating an introvert can be difficult sometimes, especially if you are an extrovert.
There are days when introverts want to do something alone, like read a book or watch TV. But at the same time they want to feel the presence of another person. This is a special type of loneliness that extroverts are unlikely to understand.
If you are an introvert, we wish you to always have someone to call to you in such cases.
Is it bad to be an introvert?
It is a common belief that being an introvert prevents people from achieving success in life. But when you find out which famous person is an introvert, you will be convinced that this opinion is wrong.
The list of famous introverts includes such figures as Steven Spielberg, Keanu Reeves, Barack Obama, Johnny Depp, Lady Gaga, Michael Jordan. This personality type went to businessmen Warren Buffett, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates and Elon Musk, as well as politicians Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton. Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin and other famous historical figures are also considered introverts.
How did they achieve success, despite their natural reticence and shyness? The secret is that they have their own value system and are not inclined to focus on the opinions of others.
Having decided on their goals, people with an introverted personality type move towards them, not paying attention to criticism. This is what helps them in solving problems that seem insoluble to others. In addition, introverts are very persistent. Staying in a concentrated state for a long time, they are able to think through a strategy for solving a given problem and find the optimal path.
But keep in mind that the celebrities cited as examples also have other advantages. They are strong, purposeful and hardworking. For ordinary people, an introverted nature does not particularly help them achieve success. Often it prevents them from building the necessary social connections and does not allow them to quickly adapt to changing circumstances.
A typical introvert is a loyal and reliable friend. But he himself rarely counts on friendly support, so he is forced to overcome many difficulties exclusively on his own, which are not always enough.
Can an extrovert be shy?
Yes, it can happen. An extrovert may grow up as a shy person who fears social interactions. In this case, they will not know that they are extroverts unless they accidentally discover that they enjoy being social.
If an extrovert has mastered his shyness, he will become a normal extrovert. This is where another interesting theory comes in! Some people suggest that introversion is a disease that a person develops when he has problems communicating.
According to this theory, if an introvert has overcome his problems, he will become a normal extrovert. Thus, the theory suggests that extraversion is a normal human trait and introversion is a disease.
According to this theory, introverts are normal people who become inhibited as a result of facing certain problems or difficulties.
In some cases this may be true. For example, if a person became an introvert because he did not have enough confidence to attend social gatherings, then his introversion could be classified as a disorder.
