Streams of options help the mind to shed the burden of constant control over what is happening and an exclusively rational way of solving problems.
From an early age, children are drilled into the not very fruitful idea of the possibility of achieving success solely through mental effort. The mind gets used to acting only guided by common sense, and it does so clumsily, awkwardly, and too straightforwardly.
It is difficult for the mind to look around and notice inconsistencies that contradict this approach. He stubbornly refuses to notice his own inability to protect people from adverse events.
Our mind is convinced of its own infallibility, and this is its main mistake. The world around us is much wiser and does not waste energy in vain.
Correcting the situation is not difficult: trust the flow of options, which are subject to the laws of expediency and following the path of least energy consumption.
In everyday life, we are talking about loosening our grip and letting go of the situation, allowing problems to be solved without intrusive outside interference.
Letting go does not mean forgetting
The ability to let go of people, things, problems and obsessive thoughts in a timely manner is a vital skill for the psyche. After all, when we cling to someone or something with a death grip, we automatically stop developing. In addition, this position almost always brings us tension and pain. Try to clench your fists really, really hard and smile at the same time. It doesn't work out very well, right?
If you want to analyze more deeply the reason for breaking up with a man, read our article “Why did he stop loving me” >>>
You need to let your man go, regardless of whether you broke up with him or are on a break in the relationship. Letting go does not mean forgetting! Oddly enough, you can only get your man back when you completely let him go. In this case, letting go means removing the energetic attachment. Binding is an energy channel of communication between you and your chosen one. But the trouble is that it is one-sided. Thinking about a man, dreaming of intimacy with him, you give tons of your energy without receiving anything in return. This is where exhaustion, anxiety and apathy come from. There is no strength left for myself anymore. You simply ignore all personal desires and needs.
And this affects your appearance, what you wear. Moreover, how you show yourself in communication with others. An eternally sad face only evokes pity and a desire to stay away from you. For men, such a woman is very unattractive.
Let go: Allow life to deviate from your script!
Everyone can regulate their own level of happiness. The lower bar for this level is very high for most people, so they do not consider themselves happy. I don't encourage you to be content with what you have. A dubious formula, such as “if you want to be happy, be happy,” is not suitable for Transurfing. You will receive your toy, but we'll talk about that later. Now we are talking about how to avoid troubles and reduce the number of problems.
It is the mind’s reluctance to allow deviations in its scenario that prevents it from using ready-made solutions in the flow of options. The manic tendency of the mind to keep everything under control turns life into a continuous struggle with the flow. How can he allow the current to run its course without obeying his will? Here we come to the most important mistake of the mind.
The mind strives to control not its movement with the flow, but the flow itself. This is one of the main reasons for all sorts of problems and troubles.
An expedient flow moving along the path of least resistance cannot generate problems and obstacles - they are generated by a stupid mind. Activate the Watcher and observe, at least for one day, how your mind tries to control the flow:
- They offer you something, but you refuse;
- They are trying to tell you something, but you brush it off;
- Someone expresses their point of view, and you argue;
- Someone does it their own way, and you guide him on the right path;
- They offer you a solution, but you object;
- You expect one thing, but get another and express dissatisfaction;
- Someone disturbs you and you become furious;
- Something goes against your script, and you rush into a frontal attack to direct the flow in the right direction.
Maybe for you personally, everything happens a little differently, but there is still some truth. Right?
Now try loosening the grip of your control and allowing more freedom to flow. I am not suggesting that you agree with everyone and accept everything. Just change your tactics: shift your center of gravity from control to observation. Strive to observe rather than control. Do not rush to dismiss, object, argue, prove your point, interfere, manage, criticize.
Give the situation a chance to resolve without your active intervention or opposition. You will be, if not stunned, then certainly surprised. And a completely paradoxical thing will happen. By giving up control, you will gain even more control over the situation than you had before.
An outside observer always has a greater advantage than a direct participant. That's why I keep saying: rent yourself out.
When you look back, you will see that your control went against the grain. The suggestions of others were not without merit. There was no point in arguing at all. Your intervention was unnecessary. What you saw as obstacles were not obstacles at all. Problems are already resolved safely without your knowledge. What you didn't get as planned isn't that bad. Randomly thrown phrases really have power. Your mental discomfort served as a warning. You didn’t waste any extra energy and were satisfied. This is the luxurious gift of flow to the mind that I spoke about at the beginning.
And of course, in addition to everything that has been said, let’s remember about our “friends”. Pendulums prevent you from moving in accordance with the flow. At every step they provoke a person, forcing him to pound the water with his hands. The presence of a flow in a current does not suit pendulums for the simple reason that the flow goes in the direction of minimal energy consumption. The energy expended by a person to fight the flow goes to create excess potentials and feed pendulums. The only control that deserves attention is control over the level of internal and external importance. Remember that it is the importance that prevents the mind from letting go of the situation.
In many cases, letting go of the situation is much more effective and useful than insisting on your own. People's desire for self-affirmation since childhood gives rise to the habit of proving their importance. This is where the tendency to prove one’s rightness comes from, which is harmful in all respects at any cost. This desire creates excess potential and conflicts with the interests of other people. Often people try to prove that they are right even in cases where the verdict in one direction or another does not directly affect their interests.
Some people have such an exaggerated sense of inner importance that they strive to insist on their own in every little detail. Inner importance develops into a mania to keep everything under control: “I will prove to everyone that I am right, no matter what the cost.” Bad habit. It makes life very difficult, especially for the defender of the truth himself.
If your interests do not suffer greatly from this, feel free to let go of the situation and give others the right to beat their hands in the water. If you do this consciously, you will immediately feel at ease in your soul, even easier than if you had proven your point of view. You will be satisfied with the fact that you have risen to a higher level: you have not, as usual, defended your importance, but acted like a wise parent with foolish children.
Let me give you another example.
Excessive zeal at work is as harmful as carelessness. Let's say you got a prestigious job that you have long dreamed of. You place high demands on yourself because you believe that you are obligated to show your best.
This is correct, but if you take on the task too zealously, then most likely you will not be able to withstand the stress, especially if the task is complex. At best, your work will be ineffective, and at worst, you will have a nervous breakdown. You may even falsely believe that you are unable to do the job.
Another option is possible. You develop vigorous activity, and thereby disrupt the established order of things. You feel like there's a lot you can improve at work, and you're absolutely confident that you're doing the right thing. However, if your innovations entail a disruption in the usual way of life of your employees, do not expect anything good. This is the case when initiative is punishable. You have been placed in a slow, but calm and balanced current, and you are beating your hands on the water with all your might, trying to swim faster.
Well, now it turns out that you can’t say a word against it, and you can’t stick your neck out at all? Well, not quite that tough. We must approach this issue from a mercantile point of view. You can only be indignant and scold what directly bothers you, and only if your criticism can change something for the better. Never criticize something that has already happened and cannot be changed. Otherwise, the principle of going with the flow should not be applied literally, agreeing with everything and everyone, but only by shifting the center of gravity from control to observation. Observe more and do not rush to control. A sense of proportion will come to you on its own, you don’t have to worry about it. published
Author: Vadim Zeland
PS And remember, just by changing your consciousness, we are changing the world together! © econet
Let yourself go
If you remove the energetic connection to your loved one, the connection between you will still remain. But it won't be toxic. You will remember him, and he will remember you. But at the same time, you will feel like a separate person and will be able to fully control all your actions towards a man. And he will lose his power over you. For example, he won't be able to use you for a one-night stand. You will have the strength to resist temptation and stick to your line. You yourself understand that physical contact with a person who is not with you emotionally and mentally brings even greater suffering. While a real relationship is an equal exchange and a conscious desire to go through life together.
Methods not to think about bad things
Identifying the significance of what happened
When a situation emerges in your memory for a long period of time, you need to consciously approach the situation and its moments that, as it turns out, are significant for your perception: feelings, expectations, vain hopes. You must be honest with yourself and determine what role an event or person plays in your life, without taking emotions into account. Using this method, you can find other ways to solve the problem, or at least look at what happened from a different angle. You will be able to control your feelings again.
Humility
When a situation cannot be changed, it is best to accept it. This is the basis of positive thinking. You must learn to form your own attitude towards the situation, starting from possible positive aspects. When it is impossible to change something, you need to accept it, and not go against it, as it is pointless. Don't overload your psyche with worries. The part of your emotions that is not affected by negative thoughts brings positive moments into your life.
Analyzing Limiting Beliefs
It will be much easier to deal with the situation if its solution is known, conclusions are drawn and a lesson is learned from it. If you perceive what happened negatively, believing that every failure is a punishment, then you will constantly limit yourself. You must learn to find the positive in every situation. Suppose: you were laid off at work - there was a chance to find a more convenient and higher-paying job; When we encounter a small problem, we consider that this is a warning that we shouldn’t do this, nothing more.
4 stages of accepting the inevitable.
How to let a man go - in practice
Imagine energy ropes stretching from your body towards your loved one. Observe which zone they come from. These are probably the heart and sex centers (the heart area and the area below the navel). Pay attention to how powerful the flow of energy is from you to your chosen one. Make the decision to get all your energy back and start living your life to the fullest. And then imagine golden scissors with which you cut these energy ropes, no matter how thick they are. Do this practice several times. Thank the man for the lessons he taught and set him free. This freedom is vital for him now, just as it is for you.
You will learn how to use a break in a relationship for your benefit in our article “A pause in a relationship... This is the end” >>>
The illusion of control
When a woman is disappointed in a man, he may feel like he has to act differently so she doesn't get upset.
The illusion is created that the man determines her emotions. Every emotional reaction that she gives to a man makes him feel guilty, worthless, and insecure.
A woman uses gratitude, acceptance and love to reward a man when he does what she likes and becomes upset and depressed when she doesn't like something about him.
All her emotions are a pleasant reward or an unpleasant punishment, affecting the man’s self-esteem and emotional state. She uses the power of her emotional influence on a man to encourage or block his behavior.
A woman uses her emotions as a means of control.
Her emotional state depends on the man, and she is forced to control him so that he does not do anything that could upset her.
Unfortunately, such manipulative strategies in relationships, even if at the beginning they can give the desired result (the man seems to change as you would like), but then he develops “immunity” and he begins to ignore your needs and stops trying for you.
There are other healthy ways to get a man's attention, care, respect and effort than using your emotions for the carrot and stick method. You can find out more about this → here.
Come back to yourself
In a full-fledged relationship, there must be two personalities - you and your loved one. Is it necessary to let go of someone dear to your heart at least in order to understand who you are? What are your aspirations, desires, needs? What is happiness for you, besides relationships?
Imagine that all the energy that has been going to your loved one for months now belongs only to you. It is your responsibility to use it to its maximum advantage. Think about what things make you happy, write them down and hang the list on your refrigerator. It could be little things - delicious food, flowers, massage, shopping. And also some new activity, hobby, a feeling of involvement in some interesting business or circle of people.
You will learn how to gain self-reliance from our article “And why did you give birth to me with such...? Or How to accept yourself and love yourself" >>>
In order to develop and gain experience, you need to communicate with different people. During this period, it is advisable to expand your circle of contacts as much as possible and open the heart of the Universe.
You can and should let go of the past if your true desire is to live happily in peace
Let's try to figure out how you can let go of the past? Perhaps someone will want to object and say that you cannot let go of the past, in which there was so much joy and happiness: this is too valuable an acquisition. Here is the answer: the article is intended for those who cannot understand how to let go of the negative experiences of the past: problems, conflicts, misunderstandings.
So what is next?..
There will be a lot of “goodies” after you truly let your man go. Firstly, your appetite will improve, you will have a passion for life, an interest in people and new things. Secondly, your eyes will sparkle and your sexual energy will return. Accordingly, men's interest in you will increase significantly. And thirdly, sensing that the flow of energy on your part has stopped, your loved one will soon appear again. Perhaps he will even immediately offer to start all over again.
It’s up to you to decide whether to dive headfirst into an old, painful relationship, or not to rush, or maybe build it in a new way. But remember that the most important value is not someone else, but you, your personal comfort and peace of mind.
This is the School of Gravity. We are here to make you happy and loved! See you at the online meeting >>>
Practical advice
How to learn to let go of a situation? If circumstances cause very strong negative emotions, then you need to get rid of them. You must prepare yourself to forgive or show your true feelings. Often, feelings of aggression, shame and guilt are added to feelings of resentment.
Thoughts project emotions that embody actions. In this regard, understatement is an obstacle to new events and communication with people. When you have decided on the situation and clearly know what to do, you can get rid of negative emotions.
If a person is overcome by anxiety, then this feeling can be dealt with. You need to get in touch with the person and figure out the relationship.
When you encounter a conflict, think in advance how to reconcile, how you will correct any mistakes that may have arisen. Leave in the past people with whom you quarreled or not. When a person knows how to recognize facts, he is less likely to feel anxious. If you decide to resume communication, it is better to change your attitude and behavior so as not to face the same situation.
To completely get rid of negative emotions, you need to give them the opportunity to come out. Allow yourself to cry, scream, throw it all out... The main thing is, don’t be afraid of such liberation, you shouldn’t be in a depressed state for a long time either, otherwise it can consume you and drag on.
You can allow strong emotions, such as indignation, anger, resentment, only if you further get rid of them. When you accumulate negativity within yourself, you make it more difficult to get rid of them in the future.
A very good option for getting rid of negative emotions would be interesting or exciting activities that you can plunge into headlong. When your day is filled with new events, you accumulate new experiences, thereby crowding out bad memories.
Change the situation - change your attitude towards it?
“If you can’t change the situation, change your attitude towards it! “Isn’t that a painfully familiar phrase? And there is a lot of common sense in it. You can't return what happened
But if the outcome of that situation torments you, then it’s worth working on your sense of what happened. To better feel the true reason for your difficult situation, try on the “skin” of the other side. The game “Topsy-turvy” will help with this.
Remember a situation that hurt you. For example, you refused a friend’s request to babysit her children when she needed to be away on an important matter, because of a promised
dating a man. Of course, your friend was offended, you had a conflict in which you did not feel as guilty as you were blamed. But the aftertaste from the quarrel haunts you. Then stand facing the mirror and imagine yourself as your friend. You urgently need to leave, and your friend, who made a promise, lets you down for the sake of going to the movies. Say out loud all the emotions you feel while thinking about the consequences of her carelessness towards you. Feeling yourself in her place, you will understand why she did what she did. Or maybe you would do the same yourself. You will understand your friend’s motives and emotions, and you will perceive the situation from a completely different perspective.
Conclusions4
You can't let go of a past relationship without drawing conclusions. Suffering until the end of your days is not the right solution. We need to use past relationships as experience. Priceless. Clearly define what you were missing in this relationship. What caused their collapse. What was good. What could have been changed.
The answers to these questions are needed to understand how to build your next relationship. On what issues can you find compromises, and on what issues should you be firm? It is important to understand what exactly prevents you from letting go of past relationships - often it is resentment, understatement, habit, attachment.
Sometimes it seems that this relationship was ideal, that it could not be better, and therefore you sit and are sad that it is all over. And then, with a cool head, you begin to analyze and it turns out that you just got used to the person. We lived together out of habit. Or because it was convenient for both of them. So why grieve then?
You cannot hide emotions associated with past relationships deep inside yourself. We need to take them out, clean them and get rid of unnecessary ones. You can leave positive memories, but remove the negative ones. With a reasonable approach, you can remain with your ex-friends. Especially if you have to see each other often - for example, you have the same social circle, you work together. If you parted on a good note, then it will be easier for everyone later.
As in the song “forgive him, forgive him and let him go” - this is how it should be in life. Take completed conversations as experience in your piggy bank. Draw conclusions and move on. Well, unless you have the goal of suffering all your life over the past.
