How to survive being fired and find a new job. Advice from a psychologist | Psychology of life

1 3617 September 5, 2020 at 11:58 pm Author of the publication: Yana Parshina, sales manager

Finding a job often turns out to be an exhausting process that drags on for months or even years. How to find a job despite the crisis, age and strict selection of employers?

To reveal the secret of a successful job search, first let’s figure out which employees the employer is interested in.

Everyone knows that personnel decides everything. And every employer will say that it is not easy to find an employee. The employer's goal is not to employ those who are concerned about finding a job, but to find the right person.

On the one hand, we have a lot of applicants who cannot find a job, and on the other hand, employers have a problem finding valuable employees.

Who is the employer looking for?

To find a good job, you don’t have to be a rare professional or have a lot of experience, although, of course, professionalism is very important. It is important to understand that many employers are ready to train their staff. That is, this is not the main thing. What's the main thing?

Long job search

The first thing you need to do is put yourself in a “resource” state. Write down on one piece of paper what worries you - in one column, and in the other - the antipode of this experience. If you can’t cope with this on your own, then you need to find people who are in a “resource” state so that they can offer you a formulation. For example: “They won’t hire me.” What phrase can be “anti”? “If I change the strategy, the result will change.” But, of course, you need to not only repeat this phrase like a mantra, but actually change your job search strategy.

Second phrase: “I’m running out of money.” Antipode - “I need to mobilize and connect more people, then I will have more opportunities to get a job.” You need to start with this.

Article on the topic

Every detail matters. 5 main rules of conduct during an interview In addition, you need to walk more in the fresh air. Be sure to not forget about sports and movement. You need to pick up old contacts, communicate with people, friends. But don’t behave from the position of “I’m a poor thing.” It’s better to ask your friends about their job search experience.

If you are rarely invited to interviews, then it is likely that the problem is a poorly written resume. Find a person who will help you compile it correctly; now this can be done without leaving your home, via the Internet.

From a professional point of view, of course, the employer makes decisions based on appearance. You need to understand how they dress in the structure you want to join, and come in appropriate clothes. You need to be prepared not only to answer questions, but also to ask them, because the person asking the questions looks more competent. Such people are always more interesting for an employer.

Be prepared for the employer to ask you about your goals and dreams. They must be ambitious but realistic. There is no need to speak with some kind of theatrical aplomb; it is better to convincingly say that you are moving towards a certain goal, and this company is suitable for you in this regard.

How to get a job during a crisis

To be unemployed during a crisis means to be left to the mercy of fate.

My tips to help you find a job, even in such difficult times:

Stock up on recommendations from previous places of work.
Be positive. Remember, thought is material. If you believe in a fiasco, it will happen. Make it your credo: “He who seeks will find.”
Spend at least 4 hours a day searching.
Reduce salary expectations by 10–15%.
Upgrade your skills. Take courses, read specialized literature.

If you need money urgently, you can do simple tasks as a freelancer.

Bankruptcy

In the late 90s, when the financial collapse occurred, many were faced with the loss of business, then many men went “underground”. No matter how strange it may sound, the stronger half of humanity endures such situations more difficult. Women have a more flexible psyche. A man's consciousness gets into a dead end due to rationality. This feeling of a concrete slab falls on their self-esteem, on their rational brain, makes them demoralized. The man begins to believe that he has failed to cope with the problem. And if his wife also says that he failed, then he will most likely plunge even deeper into this situation. In this case, there is no one correct solution, so it is better to consult a psychologist and choose a way to deal with your depressed state depending on your psychotype.

I will share a story from my practice. In a family where the husband suddenly became bankrupt and took ill, the wife did not give up and began to look for a solution. And we developed a strategy for the psychotype of her husband. In order for her husband to become active, she created the appearance that she quit her job, so that he would understand that all hope was with him. When they sat down to breakfast, the children asked why we only had tea and bread and butter. She told them that dad would soon go to work and everything would get better. At the same time, she spoke calmly to her husband, saying that he needed to get up and act. After some time, he began to make some calls to old acquaintances, although it was difficult for him to go “to bow”, it broke his pride. But in the end the family got out of this situation. The main thing to remember is that depression is like a swamp, it sucks you in. The sooner you tackle a problem, the faster you will solve it.

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Everyone knows how important it is to do something you love. This gives physical and psychological health, and also, as a rule, brings more income, since we invest all our energy and all our hearts into what we love. However, finding your favorite thing is not so easy. What prevents you from finding a job you like?

There are a number of beliefs and actions that prevent you from finding a job you like:

1. Belief in the supernatural power of everything that finds a bright response in our soul

There is an opinion that what you love is like true love: you can recognize it immediately, at first sight. And finding it, just like true love, is not given to everyone, it’s luck. Several times I heard the phrase: “You’re lucky, you have something you love.”

The belief that you have to be lucky to find what you love is based on the fact that every day we see around us a large number of people working in the wrong place. And then it may seem to us that this is how it should be, that this is life, that this is how it should be. And that a job you love is something like a miracle.

In fact, due to the fact that few people really know what they want to do professionally, finding their calling can seem like a miracle. But that shouldn't stop you from looking for it. It is useless to look for true love - it finds itself. But with work everything is different. And not only with work. Understanding what you want, what gives you pleasure is also work, sometimes quite long, but undoubtedly useful. It means the need to listen to yourself, the need to pay attention to yourself and notice what you like and what you don’t. In addition, it means the need to support what you like and what you don’t like - to reject and not make a deal with yourself: “Okay, so be it, I’ll do this for now.” Often when we compromise, we give up on our dreams and stop looking for what we want to do. Even if at the moment you are forced to do something you don’t like, don’t stop there, but keep looking. You won't find your own business.

2. Remember that the first and very important step in finding a job will be the very beginning of this very search.

Talk is one thing, but action is another. You shouldn’t hope that your favorite job will find you on its own, it’s unlikely. You may not believe it, but as soon as you take the first step, you will realize that you will be one step closer to your cherished desire. If you think about it, this is quite possible. However, thousands of people still sit at their jobs as if in hard labor, wasting months and even years of their lives in vain, achieving absolutely nothing in their lives.

There are quite a lot of reasons for this, but they are all banal and come down to two simple theses:

1) lack of faith in yourself and your strengths;

2) constantly postponing important things “for later.”

People have the most sophisticated forms of excuses, although this is not surprising, because those who don’t want to look for reasons, not opportunities...

The vast majority are simply afraid to leave their personal comfort zone. Fear forces them to endure an unloved job, in return it gives them a familiar, but understandable state of absolute dissatisfaction with their own life. Their lives turn into standard and boring obligations: every week they look forward to days off, and every year - vacations.

Where to look for your favorite job?

Be open to finding work you love. You can start by analyzing the job you currently have. Remember the moments that bring you joy and you feel interested. Understand the reason why this particular activity is most interesting to you. Then try to determine what type of activity can also interest you, but for a longer period of time.

However, you should not be upset if, after a detailed and in-depth analysis of your work, you do not find anything interesting or that brings you joy, much less a feeling of satisfaction from the process. I think, after thinking a little, you will still make a list of possible professions. Then, think about what you need to do to get this position.

Try to be honest with yourself at least now. Look around, how do you live and what position do you hold? Do you like what you have at the moment?! Believe me, all your wishes really have the ability to come true. Each of us can become anyone, the main thing is to believe in ourselves and our strengths. Don’t waste time, make a list of activities that bring you satisfaction and joy right now. Start taking action, stop being lazy and afraid!

Exercise #1:

1) Take a pen and a piece of paper and write down 10 sentences that begin with the words: “I must...”. You need to write down 10 things that you think you should do in life;

2) Now write down 10 sentences that begin with the words “I can’t...”. In this part of the exercise you need to write down 10 things that you think you cannot do;

3) Read out loud what happened. How does what you write make you feel?

4) Now cross out the word “should” in the first ten sentences and replace it with the word “want”. In the next ten sentences, cross out the word “can” (leave the “not” particle), and also replace it with the word “want”;

5) Read what you got. How does what happened make you feel now?

While doing this exercise, you may have noticed that everything you wrote down you either want to do or you don’t want to do. However, when you tell yourself “should” or “can’t” instead of “want” or “don’t want,” it blocks the energy and prevents you from enjoying or refusing to do what you do. Train in everything you do to reveal either your desire or your reluctance. The more you understand and know about your “wants” and “don’ts”, the easier it will be for you to apply this to your work.

2. Lack of goal to find a job you like

Often the desire to find a job to our liking is not realized because we do not set such a goal for ourselves. For example, just finding a job is important because you have to live for something. And to achieve it, we set ourselves a goal - to find a job, take the appropriate steps - draw up a resume, send it to employers. And what is good for the soul is something you can do in your spare time, if you have time. And if there is no goal, then there are no consistent actions that will help you find what you like. Set a goal to find something you love. Analyze what steps will help you move in this direction. What do you need to find the job you love? What can help you find a job you like? Make an action plan. And the exercises that I offer will help you take the first steps in this direction and get closer to your goal.

3. Lack of action

Sometimes we say to ourselves: “If I don’t yet know what I want, then what’s the point of doing something? When I understand, then I’ll start moving.” But until we take practical action, we risk remaining in the same place. Finding a job you love is a matter of doing, not thinking, and it requires activity.

Exercise No. 2.

1) Answer the following questions:

- If your life had a very specific purpose, what would it be?

— If there was a god or other superbeing, what abilities could it give you? For what? What could you give to the world, to people?

2) In accordance with the answers, determine your life mission and form a life credo.

4. Fear of trying

Continuing the previous point, I would like to note that finding something you like is a purely practical matter. It is impossible to find what you love without trying yourself in different activities. It's impossible to know whether you like drawing or not if you've never tried it. Child psychologists recommend that parents take their children to different clubs and sections. In order for a child to decide for himself what he wants to do in life by the end of school, by this period he must try himself in different types of activities. You can only understand whether you like doing something or not by trying it.

Exercise #3:

1) Write down on a piece of paper everything you like to do, everything you have ever done and enjoyed it. You don't need to think about whether this could become your business yet. Just remember, reflect. Perhaps you once read a report in college and were greatly inspired by it. Or you like to sing with a guitar. Or go shopping. Write down everything you do with pleasure. This exercise can be done for several days, adding to the list what you still remember or come up with.

2) If you carefully read the resulting to-do list, you will notice that all the to-dos can be divided into groups. Remember the children's exercise called “Find the Common Thing”? So, you need to do the same thing: break down all your tasks according to some common characteristic. One group, for example, relates to communication with people, another group to clothing, a third to literature, etc.

3) What profession or professions are associated with each group of things that you enjoy doing?

4) Which of the professions you have identified do you prefer?

5. The belief that you are unworthy of having a job you love.

The roots of this belief lie in one's attitude towards oneself. If you believe that you are unworthy of being happy and doing things that bring you pleasure, then you will have a hard time discovering this or applying it in your professional activities. Change your self-esteem. It’s real to do what you like and still get paid for it.

6. Fear of losing what you already have

There is even a saying about this: “Even if it’s bad, it’s mine.” Or “Better a bird in the hand than a pie in the sky.” Sometimes we are afraid to try something new for fear of failure and loss of the results that have already been achieved. What if it doesn’t work there and I lose it here?

Take reasonable risks. Don’t rush into a new business recklessly, calculate the chances of success. If you have to start from scratch (and you almost always have to start a new business from the position of a “newbie”), first secure your rear or create a “safety cushion” of set aside money, just in case.

What you have already achieved in life is very important. This is your experience, your skills, your knowledge. The wise man is the one who relies on his experience.

Exercise #4:

1) Write down what you can do well.

2) How can each of the items you wrote down help you in the professions from the previous exercise? How can your skills and abilities help you in the things you love to do?

7. Lack of belief that what you love can bring you money.

We often think that what we like is a hobby, a passion, and work is something else. And this is perhaps one of the main obstacles to making the profession enjoyable. Hobbies and work can and should coincide in order for us to be happy and satisfied with life.

Exercise #5:

1) Take a look at the results of exercise No. 3. For each point, answer the question: what prevents you from making money from this?

2) Create a different resume for each profession identified in Exercise No. 3. Justify your choice with your experience and education.

3) HR departments of various companies have a favorite question: why do you want to work in this position? You can answer it right now. Write a short essay on each profession and why you want to work in it.

Exercise No. 6.

Let's do a check for those professions that you chose in exercise No. 3.

1) For each profession, find a thing that will symbolize it. This can be absolutely any thing that evokes some associations with the profession. Place it in the room. Do this with every profession. There should be as many things as you were able to discover professions.

2) Now each profession has its own place in space. Stand on the place where one of the things lies (pay attention to which place you stood on first). This place is the space for the designated profession. By standing in this place, you “occupy” this profession, this professional niche. How do you feel in this place (and in this profession)? What feelings do you get in this place? Do you feel comfortable here, is it interesting, is it convenient? Are you at ease? What do you want to do in this place?

Take turns to other professions and do the same.

All you have to do is find out more about this profession, understand what you need to work in it, look at the websites about open vacancies for the expectations and requirements of employers for an applicant for this position and write a competent resume. If you still can’t find what you would like to do, try looking through the same sites. Open the categories that attract you most, see what positions and professions are available there, pay attention to what piques your interest. Send out your resume and go to interviews. This way you can learn more about professions and understand whether you really like them or not. The time to make money is when currency exchange rates fluctuate. For those who don’t know how to do this, I give a schedule of master classes https://www.profitlt.ru/training/schedule_of_workshops/?utm_source=smm%26utm_medium=blog%26utm_campaign=learning where you will be taught the basics of trading on the FOREX foreign exchange market" and many other wisdoms.

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If you are not hired because of your age

Of course, an employer will never tell you that you are not suitable for him because of your age. But people in the 30-35 year old category are flexible, ambitious, and make a great contribution to the company, which is why they are the most in demand on the market. People over 40 have principles and are formed. If a manager sees that a static candidate has arrived, he worries that such an employee will be intractable and conflict-ridden. It is easier for him to mold a young specialist into the mentality of his company.

What can you advise in this case? Bring more joy into your everyday life, change your lifestyle. If we are talking about a woman, then it is worth taking up dancing and drawing. When a person does the same thing all his life, he becomes very monotonous. When we do something we haven’t done before, we break ourselves and become elastic. When we are young, we say “let’s try!”, but as people get older, they don’t want to experiment. In the field of hobbies, it is easier to decide to experiment. This helps to engage creative perception. Plasticity of consciousness is necessary.

Perhaps a more radical option will suit you. Maybe we need to continue our evolution, but not in the same way as before. Think about what you are good at, together with some other specialists you can create an individual entrepreneur and provide paid services. In such cases, experimentation is often necessary. Maybe this will be the start of a business.

Dismissal

Being in such a situation, each person perceives it differently. Some see this as a new opportunity, others as disappointment. Someone sells a yacht because it is difficult to maintain, and someone buys a yacht with the words: “Wonderful, I will ride on it, I will see a lot.” Think and decide which category you want to fall into. When you are asked to quit, it is most likely not about the people, but about how you form relationships with them. This is where you need to focus on communication, because there was clearly too much of something in your communications with people that allowed people to decide that you did not fit with this team. But not matching up with the team means you just have to find your “pack.”

In addition, there are some characteristics of people. Let's say a person comes to work and begins to give his best. Two months pass and he is told that he has completed his probationary period. A person begins to work as he has always done. What does management see? That there was a decline. When I work with people of this kind, I always say that you need to show yourself incrementally, so that when these two months are over, you continue to show some new results. If you now amaze everyone to the maximum, then later, compared to what you did during the probationary period, you will look like a deflating balloon. This is a decrease in performance. Remember this.

Why is it important to find a job you love?

According to world research, 80% of people do not like their work and live their lives in quiet despair!

How long do you think you will work doing something you don't like?

I will give several arguments in favor of the fact that the work should be to your liking:

It’s difficult to do monotonous work for a long time with interest, attention and quality if you don’t like it.
You won't last long in a high-paying position if you don't like the responsibilities you perform.
If you don't like what you do, you won't achieve career growth in this field. Consequently, you will not receive greater financial reward for your work.
You will receive your salary 1-2 times a month, and you will have to perform boring and monotonous actions at your unloved job every day.
Someone who loves his job and works with enthusiasm is one step ahead of those who have not yet found their dream job.
An unloved, “forced” (for a good resume, for a high salary) job is a source of stress, dissatisfaction with life and with oneself.

I think these facts are enough to prevent you from wasting your life. You shouldn’t do a job you don’t like, dreaming of smashing the monitor with your head and wondering which office window to throw yourself out of in order to improve your affairs.

Live and work in pleasure!

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a single day in your life!