What kind of desires do people have? (1). Discussion on LiveInternet

September 11, 2018
Psychology of Personality
Ksenga

All people have desires that they want to make come true. But there are people who are unreasonable in their implementation. Some people make the goal of their life desires that can be fulfilled this week. You need to make a list of goals and start implementing them today. Find examples of wishes below.

Holidays at sea

After a productive year of work, many people want to relax on the beach. The dream of white sand and clean water always lives in the human mind. If you want to relax at sea, then you don’t need to put off this dream for later. There are many ways to travel on a budget. There is no need to save money all year and then spend your savings in two weeks. You can go on a trip by car. Gather friends who, just like you, dream of relaxing. Ask your friends where they vacationed and what they saw on their travels. Choose the place you want to visit and get directions to it. This is easy to do using online maps. Load the selected route into your navigator and go on a journey.

You can relax at sea without a car. Buy a train or plane ticket, book a hotel and plan your vacation. Find out the tourist spots you want to visit in advance. You can book a guide while sitting at home who will take you on a tour of the city and its surroundings. If you want to save money, you can meet people from another city who will give you a tour for free. There are many options for budget tourism, so you shouldn’t think that only wealthy people can see the world.

Car

Have you heard the phrase from your friends: I want to buy a car? Many young people who have not yet saved up for their own vehicle have a similar desire. A similar dream lives in the hearts of people who love to travel. To buy a car, you don't have to save up for it all your life. You can choose a used car, for which you can get a loan from any bank. You need to fulfill your dreams, and not wait for the right opportunity. Does your salary not allow you to buy a car? Then you need to change your job. There is no need to expect that your salary will be raised in 10 years. If you understand that there is no career growth, change your place of work. Improve your skills and become a good specialist.

Do you often have the thought “I want to buy a car” in your head? Go to a car dealership and take a closer look at the cars. Until your dream takes a concrete form, it will not become a reality. You need to know exactly what kind of car you want to buy and how much it costs. Once you understand how much you need to save per month to achieve your dreams, you can start saving.

Apartment

Young people who live with their parents dream of owning their own home. Thanks to a mortgage, you can move into an apartment tomorrow. You can take a closer look at suitable options today. An apartment is an example of what many people want. If your friends managed to arrange their own housing, then you will succeed too. Don't think that people are just lucky. Apartments are bought by those people who are working to realize their desires. First of all, you need to find a job that can provide a normal standard of living. It is clear that if you earn 15 thousand rubles. per month, it’s stupid to think about a mortgage. Find a higher paying profession. Understand that nothing is impossible in this life. You can always get a second education or improve your skills in specialized courses. Don't be afraid to invest money in your development. If you don’t do this today, then your dreams of an apartment will remain dreams. Take action and you will succeed.

The birth of desires - where do desires come from?

The fundamental principle of the emergence of desires is the interaction of the organ of perception with a certain object. Most often, desire arises from contact with a certain set of objects, which are usually called the “object of desire,” since it is the contemplation of such things that creates desire. In the future, for the sake of clarity, the meaning of “a specific object” will be replaced by the concept of “object of desire.”

Objects of desire most often are: money and its derivatives (luxury, expensive things, expensive houses), beauty (most often it is female beauty), power, power, food, entertainment. That is, as a result of observing these things, a spontaneous, strong and persistent desire arises. These are not all objects of desire, but still the most common.

Everything is clear with money; the pursuit of gold was the cause of many wars, troubles and crimes in ancient times. With beauty, everything is also clear, for example, Troy perished. Power is also an object of strong desire on the part of many people, but its difficulty in achieving it most often keeps people from realizing their desire.

Power is the ability to influence the world based on the will of a person. In other words, it is the ability to implement one’s will based on one’s own actions. In practice, when we see that some person achieves success easily. Seeing this, we would like to be in his place, or at least also achieve something with his tools.

Power differs from power in that power is based on the ability to implement one’s will exclusively through influence on people. And this influence comes precisely from power. Power gives you the opportunity to implement your will without the help of other people.

We also recommend this article: The basis of the relationship between a man and a woman is the main reason for the relationship

Food and entertainment are among the oldest objects of desire and often the lowest. “Bread and circuses” require the masses, we have known this since the times of Ancient Rome.

Let's return to the main question - where do desires come from?

Desires arise from the interaction of the organ of perception and the object of desire.

We have dealt with the objects of desire, but I hope everyone knows about the organs of perception: eyes, nose, ears, tongue, skin . They correspond to 5 senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch . Plus there is an inner feeling: the mind. The mind perceives all sensations and, in fact, perceives them as pleasant and unpleasant factors.

So, the fundamental principle: desires arise from the contact of the organ of perception and the object of desire . Both terms are clear, now there are clear examples.

We saw a beautiful girl and a desire arose.

We heard interesting news - a desire arose

If you smelled a pleasant smell, a desire arose.

If you touched a pleasant object, a desire arose.

We tried a delicious dish and the desire arose.

These are the simplest examples. Yes, you can, for example, see a beautiful dish or bite a tasty girl, in principle, the result will be the same - a desire will arise. This is the basic principle. But there is one more very important thing.

Find the love of your life

What do a lot of single people dream about? The example of desire is quite trivial. People want to find their soulmate. Do you think this is difficult to do? Nothing like this. In the 21st century meeting your soulmate is much easier than before. You can start a relationship using the Internet. Find a cute person on a social network and write messages to her. Strike up a conversation and then ask the person out on a date. There is nothing reprehensible in such an act. Making acquaintances on the Internet is much easier than doing it on the street or in any entertainment establishment. On social networks you can find someone who has interests and life values similar to yours.

You can meet your soul mate in any club of similar interests. Do you like to dance? Sign up for courses. During your classes, be sure to meet a lovely person who will share your interests. You can make acquaintances in a more conservative way. Choose a nice person in a cafe who came to eat alone. Walk up to the person and get to know him. There's nothing wrong with that. Many people stay single because they are afraid of rejection. But if you don't try to get closer to people, you definitely won't be able to find your soulmate.

How to formulate desires

Oddly enough, it is at the moment of formulating desires that many people leave the race. It is at this stage that many fears emerge. Many people shout: “I want a husband!” - but they are afraid to ask the Universe for one. Fears come out:

What if the one I ordered doesn’t arrive?
What if I don’t match him?
What if it will be like last time.
Let it be bad, the most important thing is that it doesn’t get worse, etc.

As a result, we are afraid to change our lives, we are afraid of change. As they say, if you want it, it hurts.

There is even a parable. When a person sentenced to death was asked to make a choice: either death by hanging, or go through an unknown door, behind which it was not clear what was located. And the majority chose the gallows, since the unknown door frightened them even more. And behind that door was Freedom...

For all these fears, there is a wonderful Radical Forgiveness tool - the Radical Self-Acceptance Questionnaire. Whenever fear or doubt arises, fill out this amazing tool. Try how it works.

Let's now move on to formulating desires.

How to formulate desires so that they come true.

We manifest ourselves through thoughts, and desires, in fact, are thoughts. However, if our thoughts are not emotional, that is, if they are not associated with emotions, then our creative abilities are expressed very, very weakly.

Emotions are the turbojet fuel that charges our thoughts and gives them energy. Therefore, when formulating your desires, put into them not just words, but words + feelings, and strengthen them as much as possible. That is, try to convince your subconscious mind that you really want this result, and you will be immensely happy if you get it.

This must be done for the simple reason that in most cases your subconscious mind operates on the basis of “old tapes”, that is, accumulated stereotyped attitudes, beliefs, fears and memories that constantly repeat the same thing: that you need to be afraid of success, that you are unworthy of this success, that having power and power is dangerous, that you will never achieve it, and so on in the same spirit.

That's why your target should be energetically strong, powerful, captivating and emotional.

Rule 1. The wish must be written.

Well, okay, you say, if it’s better to write, then we’ll write. Big deal, it's a problem.

As strange as it may sound, writing your own desire correctly is really a problem.

Let's look at examples. "I want to have my own home." Is it written correctly? Fundamentally wrong! The problem is that such a desire is always fulfilled for everyone. The Universe says: whatever. And many years from now you will continue to want your new home. That is, desires without exact deadlines are meaningless. This leads to the following rule:

Rule 2. The desire must have an end date (period) for fulfillment.

For example, “In June 2020, I am buying myself a large LCD TV.”

"I'll buy myself a car." Also a mistake. And what is written will definitely come true. After many years, a person will still hope that he will buy a car someday in the future. This leads to the following rule:

Rule 3. Desire is always written in the present tense.

Those. instead of “I’m going on vacation to the Canary Islands,” we write, for example, “I’m going on vacation to the Canary Islands.”

"I don't want to be poor." Is it written correctly? Fundamentally wrong!

Firstly, the Universe does not pay attention to the particles “not”, “no” or any other negative words. Probably, when you say “I don’t want to be poor,” you want to be rich, but the Universe ignores the “not” particle and perceives all this as “I want to be poor.”

Secondly, you always attract to yourself what you think about. When you say “I don’t want to be poor,” you automatically think about poverty, and when you say “I want to be rich,” you automatically think about wealth. As they say, feel the difference. The following rules follow from this:

Rule 4. Using the particle “not” and other negations is prohibited.
Rule 5. Write what you want, not what you don’t want.

Let's practice replacing negative language with positive ones.

Instead of “I don’t want to get sick,” we write, for example, “I’m healthy.”

Replace “I don’t want to be poor” with “I’m rich.”

Replace “I don’t want to be fat” with “My figure is great.”

Replace “I don’t want to be lonely” with “I am loved and love”...

Go ahead. The boy writes: “I want to become a great musician.” In fact, he likes auto racing more, but he really wants to please his mother, who has long dreamed of Stravinsky fame for her son. This is a fundamental mistake! It is impossible to deceive the Universe with a “fake” desire. This leads to the following rule:

Rule 6. The desire must be sincere and important to you.

"I want to rob a bank and become rich." “I want my rich American uncle to die as soon as possible.” “I want my boss to get hit by a car and be appointed in his place.” Our World will not fulfill such wishes, because the World is ruled by love, not evil. This leads to the following rule:

Rule 7. The desire must be ethical.

“I want dad to win the Jackpot lottery.” The right desire? No! In human terms, caring for loved ones is understandable, but the Universe has its own Laws. Desire should be directed towards yourself, your loved one. On your actions, desires, acquisitions, events.

So,

Rule 8. Desire must be directed towards oneself.

Advice: it is useless to write “I want my son to graduate from school with a gold medal,” but you can formulate it like this: “I do my best to help my son graduate from school with a gold medal.” Do you feel the difference in the meaning of what is written?

By the way, do not try to deceive the Universe by violating the above Rules. It’s only in the movies that people succeed, for example, in trying to combine two wishes when you can only make one. Remember the famous one - “I want everything to be good for dad, but for me to be like dad”? It will not work.

It will be very correct if you use as many details as possible of what you dream about when writing your desire. If this is a trip to Haiti, describe at least in general terms the hotel and the beach. If this is a new car, describe its main characteristics. And be sure to describe the feelings that will take over you when your wish comes true.

Rule 9. More details and emotions.

It is very important that the fulfillment of your desire does not harm other people. For example, a person dreams of having his own apartment. It is unlikely that he will be happy to become the owner of an apartment if its previous owners, his parents, die in a car accident. This leads to the following rule:

Rule 10. The written wish must be completed with a talisman phrase.

For example: “Let this or something more harmoniously enter my life, bring joy and happiness to me and everyone whom this desire concerns.” I draw your attention to the phrase “or something more.” There is no need to limit the Universe in its efforts to help you. The universe knows best. It is quite possible that our World considers you worthy of a holiday not in Crimea, but on the Cote d'Azur. I hope you won’t object too much to this change of holiday destination?

Here are a few options for correctly written wishes:

It is with pleasure and gratitude that I ride today, January 1, 2020, in my new gray Mercedes S 320 or an even better car. Let this or something more harmoniously enter my life, bring joy and happiness to me and everyone whom this desire concerns.
I live with love and joy constantly with my husband today, 01/01/2020, who has the following qualities: beloved, loving me and himself, respecting me, having the same interests as me, following the spiritual path, kind, supporting me, faithful, decent, generous, wealthy, successful, physically and mentally healthy, leading a healthy lifestyle, cheerful, smart, sexually satisfying. Let this or something more harmoniously enter my life, bring joy and happiness to me and everyone whom this desire concerns.

Right now, formulate your desire in accordance with these rules.

Dream job

The cherished desire of many people is to find a job that will bring them pleasure. It's not that hard to do. Choose an area of activity that you like. Don't have the knowledge required by a specialist in your chosen field? Today there are many courses that offer a person to gain knowledge and experience in a short time. After short-term courses you will not become a good specialist, but you will receive basic knowledge, which you will subsequently expand. Get a job at a company as an assistant specialist. Don't chase a big salary. First you need to gain experience, and only then demand a good salary. There is no point in working solely for money. First of all, you need to develop the potential within you. This is much more important. If you enjoy your profession, you will be truly happy.

The Self-Hugging Effect: 16 Basic Human Desires According to Rice

Over time, all human needs became alien to me

— K. Loschevsky

In the diaries of Daniil Kharms there are entries about earthly interests - food, drink, warmth, women - and heavenly ones. Heavenly interest lies in the search for immortality, which people try to achieve, in turn, in one of three ways: to continue the race, to immortalize the name, or to achieve eternal life through holiness.

“Maslow’s pyramid” has become widely known. Maslow suggested that humans have physical, social and self-actualization needs. Maslow believed that, having satisfied the need for food, sleep, and warmth, a person then becomes puzzled by sexual issues and social recognition, after which he reaches a level at which he can engage in self-actualization.

The disadvantage of Maslow’s model is the fact that people can, violating his scheme, neglect “lower” needs for the sake of “higher” ones, for example, not getting enough sleep to get an education or risking life and health for the sake of power.

Another important drawback : Maslow's pyramid describes a kind of universal person, neglecting the important fact that the priorities of different people can differ significantly. Reiss calls himself a follower of Abraham Maslow in the sense that the latter's main merit is his attempt to generally consider human nature from a motivational point of view.

Reiss believed that it was necessary to combine the achievements of psychology (mainly methods) and philosophy (semantic concepts) to develop the most adequate theory of motivation

In 1998, American psychologist Stephen Reiss proposed his own model, in which a person is viewed as the focus of sixteen primary needs, each of which acts independently of the others, and the individual set of strengths of manifestation of which varies from one to another.

The number "16" should not be misleading, basic desires are not psychotypes, and Reiss considered options with 10 or 17 bases, but found them less functional.

Professor Reiss created his theory after leaving the hospital, where he was given a fatal diagnosis.

When we face tragedy, we review what we have done, reflect on what we could have done, and wonder what it means. We learn who we are and what we truly value.

Thus, reflecting on death, selfishness and duty, he came to the conclusion that the concept according to which a person is simply guided by the “pleasure principle” is unsatisfactory. After all, one person prefers to stay late at work, and another prefers to spend time with his family, and the fact that both of them are guided by the desire to feel good and avoid troubles does not help us in any way to understand why they end up making opposite decisions.

Having studied the history of the issue, Reiss discovered that, according to Plato, a person is driven by the desire for truth, in Freudianism - Eros and Thanatos, in Jung - the will to live, in Adler - superiority and power. Carl Rogers suggested that there were two basic desires: self-actualization and self-recognition.

James creates a more detailed list of basic instinctive desires: thrift, creation, curiosity, narcissism, family, hunting, order, play, sex, shame, pain, herdism and revenge.

Subsequently, McDougall expands this list and continues his research, and Murray builds on it in developing his own list and in 1938 proposes his Thematic Apperception Test (TAT).

However, the theories of James and McDougall did not find a response either in the camp of psychoanalysts or in the camp of behaviorists. The former were not satisfied with the overly complex scheme of many instincts, and the latter were not satisfied with the possibility of inheriting the degree of their expression.

Reiss believed that it was necessary to combine the achievements of psychology (mainly methods) and philosophy (semantic concepts) to develop the most adequate theory. For this purpose, 328 initial goals were formulated, reduced by factor analysis to 16, since it was 15 - 16 categories that covered the goals with the greatest degree of completeness and accuracy.

The important point was that vital needs that do not have individual manifestations (for example, the need for water) were excluded. 6,000 people were examined.

The self-hugging effect is the tendency to project your own motivational model onto others, expecting that others should be guided by the same things as you.

An important concept in the theory is the self-hugging effect. The self-hug effect is the tendency for people to project their own motivational model onto others, expecting that others “should” do the same. This problem is one of the deep causes of misunderstanding and conflicts in human society, clashes with the Other.

Rice writes about this:

Your boss experiences basic desires very differently than you do. Parents experience basic desires very differently from their children. Wives experience basic desires in completely different ways than their husbands. Some people enjoy sex significantly more than others, which is partly due to individual variation in the genes that stimulate interest in sex.

Likewise, fatherhood and motherhood bring much greater joy to some than to others. Because we cannot ourselves experience the degree of pleasure that another person receives from sex or from parenthood, we sometimes cannot determine the extent to which these desires are or are not motivational for other people. We often don't understand why some people respond to sex or parenthood differently than we do, because we don't understand how the genetic differences between us produce different intensities of pleasure.

“ Each of the 16 desires is actually a group of interrelated motivations ,” writes Reiss.

So, here are 16 basic desires according to Reiss, taking into account the self-hug effect:

Recognition is the need for approval, joining a group.

This same need is expressed in the desire to be loved. When strongly manifested, it encourages people to avoid attention, criticism and public speaking, as well as difficult tasks. Associated with self-esteem and self-esteem. The effect of self-hug on this need is manifested in the fact that a person with a strong need for recognition perceives himself as unobtrusive, and with a weak one, as confident. Another, that is, a person with a very different need for recognition, will be perceived by us as too impressionable or, conversely, self-satisfied.

Curiosity, or inquisitiveness, is the need for learning, the thirst for knowledge.

Reiss emphasizes that this is not intelligence (the ability to easily understand things), but what emotions an individual receives from the process of cognition. In addition, you can be curious, but not like intellectual games (chess, bridge), since they are not related to the search for truth. Curious people are more likely to ask questions than others. The self-hug effect manifests itself as follows: I (smart / practical), the other (simple / boring).

Food is a need for nutrition.

Also table customs and hunting. Self-hugging effect: I (gourmet / prudent), the other (self-limiting / glutton).

Family - the need to raise children, maternal and paternal instincts.

Self-hugging effect: self (responsible/independent), other (selfish/homebody).

Honor is the need for loyalty to the values of the ethnic group, clan and parents.

Associated with patriotism. Self-hugging effect: self (principled/rational), other (dishonest/prude).

Idealism is the need for social justice and equality.

Has an interest in charity and politics. Self-hugging effect: self (compassionate, fair/realist), other (cynic/dreamer).

Independence is the need for freedom, self-determination and self-reliance.

Self-hugging effect: self (independent, self-sufficient/loyal), other (immature/stubborn).

Order is the need for a predictable and organized environment, for cleanliness.

“Each person has his own level of order as the most comfortable.” Self-hugging effect: self (organized/flexible), other (sloppy/pedantic, perfectionist).

Physical activity is the need to exercise.

People who play sports do it for benefit and for pleasure to varying degrees. Self-hugging effect: me (active/calm), the other (lazy, exerciser).

Power is the need to demonstrate will, the desire to influence other people, to achieve success.

Ambition, dominance. Self-hugging effect: I (leader/people-friendly), the other (lazy/overbearing).

Romance is the need for sex and, at the same time, aesthetics.

Self-hugging effect: self (sensual/ascetic), other (frigid/hedonistic).

Thrift is the need to collect, accumulate something.

Associated with such qualities as stinginess, wastefulness and a penchant for collecting. Self-hugging effect: me (thrifty/enjoying life), the other (spendthrift/hoarder).

Communication - the need for communication and friends (equal relationships).

Self-hugging effect: self (open/serious), other (closed/superficial).

Status - the need for social status/importance, attention to reputation and the impression made, to titles and awards, prestige and premium-class consumption.

The high or low level of this need reflects both self-esteem and the perception of others. Self-hugging effect: self (elite/open-minded), other (insignificant/snob).

Peace is the need for security, emotional comfort.

This need is closely related to the intensity of the experience of pain, stress and fear. Self-hugging effect: self (cautious/brave), other (adventurous/fearful).

Revenge is the need to fight back, compete and win.

Associated with anger and hatred. Self-hugging effect: I (winner/conflict-free), other (passive/aggressive).

Reiss's book, The 16 Desires of God, explores the psychology of religion: in his opinion, faith satisfies all sixteen basic needs. (Photo © Tom Dodge)

Each need in a person can be expressed to varying degrees. Reiss settled on three borderline values: weak manifestation, medium and strong. The scheme gives a wide variety of human types, since needs are considered as independent from each other.

14 needs can be found to one degree or another in animals, 12 can be involved in religious practices, which is quite consistent with the position of religious studies: religion cannot fit into the framework of several psychosocial functions and should not be considered less than a “form of culture.”

Regarding the persistence of needs, repeated research has shown extreme stability of the 16 basic desires in people over time. It seems that they are genetically determined or are formed at an early age. “People can change, but to a certain extent and not very easily.”

Gender differences are statistically averaged out due to partial deviations. At the same time, the tendency of men to be aggressive more often and less in need of peace remains, although the strength of parental instincts varies slightly between both sexes.

Reiss writes that there was no correlation between needs and ethnic groups, but admits that the study was limited to representatives of America, Canada and Japan.

Therefore, he is not ready to draw conclusions about the role of culture and education in the formation of needs, so far inclined to consider it less than the role of genetics. In any case, occupational tests have revealed that different professions attract different people.

Tests have been developed that require more than a hundred questions and sometimes even a control check using questionnaires from outside observers. The simplest test consists of 16 questions of the following type: “Do you usually experience a greater or lesser need for independence (as an example) than your peers?” In this version, accuracy simply depends on understanding yourself and other people, as well as the essence of each need.

The Reiss model is a valuable psychological and social tool that has already been adopted by the human resources departments of large corporations and used in professional sports.

However, the reasons and purpose of its creation represented something more important : this was the author’s feasible contribution to the understanding of human nature.

Thus, Reiss says that for 16 needs there are only 6 areas of their satisfaction: family, relationships, work, spiritual life, sports and happiness. At the same time, it is proposed to distinguish between “sensual happiness,” which brings pleasure in the present time, and “value-oriented happiness,” which fills our lives with meaning.

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About self-reliance

Some people focus on the former, but at some point they may feel empty. And while there is no reason to give up simple joys, “value-based happiness” is much more important, especially since it is what sustains life in people who find themselves in situations of illness, injury, social upheaval and other circumstances that cannot always be chosen. published.

Develop abilities

What is your deepest wish? Many people dream of realizing their talent. But not everyone succeeds. Why? People are afraid to follow their dreams. Some people think that it is stupid to spend time on an activity, for example, music, if this activity does not generate income. Don't be afraid to do things that don't make you money. A person’s hobby is an outlet that helps relieve stress and recharge with energy. What abilities can you develop:

learn to play a musical instrument;
learn to dance;
take a makeup course;
master the art of hairdressing;
learn to draw;
learn to sing;
learn to sculpt;
take a nail art course;
learn to cut wood;
learn to mint;
master the art of stained glass;
master the art of pottery;
try yourself as a photographer;
try your hand at being a speaker.

Any desire can be fulfilled. And remember that you can always turn your hobby into your profession. But at the initial stage, you should not worry if your activity does not bring in money. You should develop your talents for fun. First you have to spend time and money on acquiring skills, only then can you expect dividends.

What is desire and what do you really want?

Many people often want something, desire something, sometimes even with every fiber of their soul.

To understand how strong human desire can be, it is enough to turn to folk art.

Even in children's fairy tales, characters make their wishes to various magical animals, creatures or objects: a well, a goldfish, a pike, a genie, etc.

So what is desire really, if it has such a large place in our lives?

If we look deeper inside ourselves, we will understand that our desires are part of our nature.

Some desires arise in us unconsciously - this is how they appear in our subconscious and, for the most part, are laid down by natural instincts.

Thus, people develop instinctive desires - to eat, sleep, reproduce, survive.

Physiological desires are equated with needs, and we have no choice - whether we want to desire them or not - man has had them since his appearance on Earth and will be with him until the very end of his existence.

But we also have desires that were born in the process of the work of our consciousness, that is, through our conscious will.

Many of them are dictated by living conditions in society.

This is the desire for love, recognition, joy, material well-being, personal growth, success, prosperity, fame, etc.

This means that these desires are changeable and individual. In addition, they are social in nature.

The invisible companion of human desires is thinking.

With its help, we create images and think about plans to achieve what we want.

Desires can arise spontaneously in a person, as if someone is whispering them in the ear, or they can appear as a result of exposure to a certain stimulus - some external stimulus, which may include someone else's success, achievement, wealth, etc.

It turns out that, seeing all this in others, we, without realizing it, begin to desire similar benefits. Adults in this regard are the same as children, only with serious claims to leadership.

Having understood a little about the concept of what desire is , we can move on to another equally important point - why do we have desires and what role do they play in our lives?

Everything is clear with natural needs. But social desires, thanks to our thinking and conscious activity, are ultimately reborn into certain life goals, to which a person either constantly strives, or leaves the desire as just a banal dream.

Of course, action and only action can move the matter of progress towards realizing a desire from a dead point.

However, just like in fairy tales, people often expect a miracle - that with the wave of a magic wand, all wishes, or at least some of them, will instantly, or someday, come true.

And to be sure, absolutely nothing needs to be done.

But lovers of fairy tales do not understand the most important thing: even in a fairy tale, before a wish comes true, you must first catch a magic fish, find a treasured jug or lamp, and sometimes solve complex puzzles and walk a road paved with yellow bricks.

Therefore, no matter how much human nature might want it, you can’t even put cheese in a mousetrap for free - after all, you also have to pay for it first.

Therefore, the fewer attempts a person makes to achieve what he wants, or worse, he doesn’t make any attempts at all, the more elusive his dream becomes.

The situation is much worse if a person has no social desires at all.

After all, if he does not want anything, it means that he is not striving for anything in this life at all and is not trying to advance in any way, at least in anything.

What ultimately happens to standing water?

A person can in the same way turn into a gray amorphous mass, grown into a sofa.

But our desires are capable of creating unrealistic movement through action and moving huge mountains that stun the imagination.

Desires coming from the depths of your soul will always help determine whether your goal is true or false.

Listen to your soul - ask it questions, talk to it. Seriously, now - your soul is so hungry for attention, drowned out by the voice of reason.

Ask her - what do you really want? You may be surprised at what she answers.

The main thing is to correctly use the emotional response received.

After all, the true desires that your nature dictates can effectively coordinate your future life path.

This will be very useful if it seems to you that you are moving somewhere in the wrong direction, and life itself and your activities do not arouse any enthusiasm in you.

Desires are a powerful stimulating energy for any human activity, be it business, creativity or another area of human relationships.

Thanks to desires, we can not only successfully move along the chosen path of life, but also implement formulated ideas, plans, strategies and much more with maximum efficiency, if these intentions are dictated by true spiritual desire.

Listen to your soul right now - maybe it will tell you already at this moment how to optimize this path and make it truly pleasant and joyful, so as not to waste precious time in your life? After all, it is so expensive and goes away so quickly.

Wish yourself true spiritual desires.

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Learn a foreign language

Today it is difficult to imagine the life of a person who does not know at least one foreign language. Many people dream of traveling, but when traveling you will have to communicate with the local population. So start learning a foreign language. The first step is to master international English. It is not difficult to save money for specialized courses. You just have to want and save a third of your salary every month. But before you do this, go to any language club and find out its prices. When you know how much tuition costs, it will be easier for you to save. Many language schools have a system of loans and deferred payments. Therefore, you can start classes today.

Don't have the desire or time to enroll in courses? You can learn a language while sitting at home. Thanks to free lessons and live communication with foreigners in chats and Skype, you can improve your speaking level well. Don't be afraid to make a mistake. No one will laugh at your attempts to become a better person. Don't stop there. Having learned one language, proceed to the second, and then to the third. Experts say that when you can master three languages, you will not have problems learning the fourth and fifth.

Small wishes

In addition to big goals, all people have small desires. In order not to forget about your “wants”, you can make a list of things that you will implement as soon as possible. You should always keep such a plan at hand and re-read it at least twice a week. If you realize that an opportunity has arisen to realize your dream, then immediately take action. Wish list to fulfill:

ride a camel;
swim with dolphins;
swim under a waterfall;
visit the desert;
jump with a parachute;
fly on an airplane;
visit the jungle;
cope along the river;
pet the tiger;
take a photo on an elephant;
spend the night on the beach;
meet the dawn;
spend the night in a tent;
fly on an airplane;
jump into the sea from a cliff;
live 3 days without a phone;
post one photo per week on Instagram;
save money for a bike.

Wishes for the year

A person must be aware of his life. This is the only way a person can understand that he is moving towards his goals. During the holidays, make a wish list for the year. Each person on a list like this will have personal goals. Think about what is important to you and how you would like to change your life. You don't have to write out the entire notebook. You can set yourself only 10 goals. Examples of wishes could be:

run a marathon;
carry out general cleaning in the apartment;
go to the bathhouse every week;
sign up for the pool;
run every day;
sign up for a gym;
learn English;
read 30 books;
learn to dance or write beautifully;
buy a car;
relax in Thailand;
visit the Hermitage;
go water skiing;
conquer Everest;
see Baikal;
move to a new apartment;
make renovations in the hall;
change plumbing;
update your wardrobe;
change image;
put a voice;
move to another city;
change jobs;
get rights;
buy a new phone or laptop;
have a party;
travel to another country;
start a holiday romance;
find true love;
rewatch all seasons of your favorite TV series;
reread your favorite book;
master meditation;
undergo surgery to improve vision;
go to a cosmetologist;
sign up for a solarium.

Get a tattoo

Today it is fashionable to decorate your body with beautiful designs. Do you want to get a tattoo? Making your wishes come true is very simple. You need to find or draw a beautiful sketch, and then sign up for a consultation at a tattoo parlor. You need to find a good master who will make a high-quality drawing and will not harm your health. Ask your friends who have already done tattoos where and how much they got their designs done. It is not difficult to make such a wish come true. But remember that such decoration will remain with you for life. Therefore, choose a drawing that will be relevant to you not only today, but will also remain symbolic in 10-20 years.

You can write a “bucket list” and include a tattoo on it. But remember that such a desire should not be realized immediately. The opinions of others on this matter should not bother you. But if you know your changeable nature, first start implementing other items on the list, and after a month or two, think again about a tattoo. If the desire to decorate your body remains, then you can safely make an appointment with a specialist.

Lose weight

Are you unhappy with your body? The situation urgently needs to change. You need to love your reflection in the mirror. If you realize that you have recently gained extra pounds, then now is the time to get rid of them. And the wish list will help you with this. Only those people who know exactly what they want will find opportunities and ways to realize their dreams. You need to set your goals correctly. Losing weight is an abstract desire. But losing 10 kg is already a real goal. You must be clear about all the changes you want to make to your body. For example, write a list of 100 wishes related to your transformation. Let's look at what you can write below:

lose weight by 10 kg;
pump up your butt;
pump up your abs;
do 50 push-ups daily;
pull up on the horizontal bar;
run 3 km every day;
drink 1.5 liters of water;
stretch for an hour a day;
sign up for group yoga classes;
exercise with a jump rope 10 minutes a day.

Write what is relevant to you now. You can write a list of 100 wishes, guided by this article, or come up with your own goals. Don't show your plans to anyone. Let them be a secret to others. The less you talk about your plans and desires, the more energy you have left to realize your goals. Start implementing your list today, don’t wait for a magical tomorrow. Remember, it will never come if you don't start working now.

Our goals and desires. What types of desires are there?

Probably no one will argue with the fact that desires and goals are interconnected, and that one does not work without the other. A desire without a goal is just idle daydreaming. A goal without desire is not a goal worth striving for.

But not every desire is useful. There are desires that are dangerous for the goal , which can ruin it without allowing it to come true.

Let's first understand what desire is. By definition, desire is an internal attraction, a desire to achieve something, or to possess something.

Desires determine our goals.

There is an opinion in society that not all desires are feasible , that not all of them are fulfilled, and that in order to achieve them, at best, you need to spend many years of hard work and struggle.

In fact, these are just stereotypes that can be easily destroyed if you take a closer look at this subject.

Do you remember in childhood there was such a saying: “You want a lot, you get little”? Oddly enough, this expression has the deepest meaning, but it needs to be rephrased as follows: “The more you want, the less you get.”

If someone wants to get something very badly, he discourages the realization of what he wants. Imagine. that the cat wants to catch a bird, let's call it the bird of happiness. If he snorts, tries on, crosses his paws, beats his tail, the bird will get scared and fly away. If he pretends to be completely indifferent and slowly approaches it, or simply starts basking in the sun and waits until the bird approaches him and then makes a decisive leap, he will have a much better chance of catching it.

Let us now consider what types of desire there are. There are three of them in total.

Desire turning into intention

When a strong desire turns into intention, and it, in turn. results in action - it is always fulfilled . This is the first and only type of desire that leads to success.

Inactive desire

Such a desire is, at best, draining and exhausting mentally and physically. Everyone is probably familiar with the expression “longing desire.” This is it. At best, it weakens, at worst, it attracts a variety of troubles that begin to happen as if on their own.

Desire turning into addiction

The most insidious kind of desire. Such a desire appears when a person creates attitudes like: if I achieve this, my life will improve much; if I don’t achieve this, I will continue to drag out a miserable existence. If I do this, I am a strong person, if not, I am worthless and worthless. If I get it, I will be happy, if not, life loses all meaning.

Creating such attitudes automatically leads to addiction . A person becomes literally obsessed and draws himself into such a whirlpool of life that he simply becomes exhausted in the struggle.

And in the end he gives up his desire.

And this happens when you put your desire on one side of the scale, and everything else that is in your life on the other. And then despair, uncertainty, fears and doubts appear.

And therefore, if you want your goals and desires to be fulfilled, do not give them excessive importance . Don't prioritize them, don't idolize them, and don't become dependent on them.

This can be compared to going to the store for bread. First, you have a desire to eat, then you see that there is no bread in the house, and your desire turns into intention and determination to have bread at home. After that, all that was left was to go to the store and buy this bread.

But when you go to the store, you don’t say to yourself: “If everything works out for me and I buy bread, everything will be wonderful in my life, and everyone will respect me. If only there was bread in the store! If only he was there! If there is no bread in the store, life will lose all value for me, I will be a nonentity, everyone around me will turn away from me and will despise me.”

It looks funny, but it's actually very sad because most of the time when it comes to our goals, we do pretty much the same thing.

We are all accustomed to the fact that in our world we have to pay for everything. In fact, we are only paying for the third type of desire , which we ourselves create. But in fact, I want to emphasize once again - all desires are fulfilled only if they are of the first type.

The higher the significance of the desire, the more likely it is to fail. If something is very important to you, don’t expect to get it, nothing will work out. First, remove the halo of significance and replace it with the halo of routine, familiarity.

If your desire has turned into dependence, into a desire to get it at any cost, it means that in your soul you do not believe in its fulfillment, and you are trying with all your might to convince yourself of the opposite. And if you don’t believe it, how will you get what you want?

The only way out is to believe that the desire is achievable, and this can be done easily and simply, just like you go to the store for bread.

And now I have a request to you: analyze the cases. when you gave any goals and desires excessive importance, and remember what came of it. I would be grateful for your comments.

Video about those who teach us that falling only makes us stronger

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How to write a wish list correctly?

You must set only true goals for yourself. Desires should not be imposed by advertising or friends. You need to understand exactly what you want and why you need it. There is no need to let others in on your secret dreams. The less you talk about your plans and desires, the more energy you have to realize your goals. Let people be amazed by your actions, not your ambitions. After all, many ill-wishers can clip your wings at the beginning of your journey. Well, if you did share your plans with good friends, then don’t fall flat on your face and achieve what you talked about. Start implementing your list today, don’t wait for a magical tomorrow. Remember, it will never come if you don’t start working now.

What are our desires?

We have true, true-false and false-false desires. But the whole problem in our age is that people have moved very far from their true essence and cannot even understand true and false desires. The trouble is that we don’t even fulfill true-false desires, we try to fulfill false-false desires - desires imposed on us by society, relatives, the state, which have nothing to do with our mission, with our purpose in general.

After all, why are we given true and false desires? And in order to fulfill them, learn lessons, be disappointed and set real goals for yourself. But people don’t even do this, because in pursuit of false desires they waste their energy, their lives, run after the “carrots” that others dangled in front of them - and as a result, in old age, they feel complete dissatisfaction with the fact that life has passed somehow missed and didn’t have time to do much or didn’t do what I wanted, etc.

It all starts from youth: I go to study where my parents want, and not myself, or where it is more prestigious, or I study a profession through which I will earn more, and not the one to which I am drawn from within. Then I go where they pay more, and, after watching enough advertising, I buy the things I need - this is the best case scenario. And in the worst case, I’ll also take out loans and buy (or try to buy) the most expensive phone, a more prestigious car, etc., and then, like a donkey, I work 10–12 hours a day to pay off debts or buy things that I need. By and large, they are not needed.

And so our unfulfilled desires accumulate - and we have to be born again and again to fulfill these desires. This is a fundamental proposition of Vedic astrology and psychology. Why does a person come into this world? And he comes because he has unfulfilled desires. Vedic culture and Vedic astrology help a person to fulfill these desires in the best possible way.