How to cheat on your husband: basic rules and mistakes of women

«I want to cheat on my husband

!” Why, how and whether it’s worth it – we’re discussing it today on the website Koshechka.ru.

Of course, this may be wrong, but the ideal marriage model does not suit everyone. Therefore, it is probably better not to read for highly moral girls who are satisfied with their chosen one in all respects.

Almost every third person in a marriage will have the thought of cheating. Let it be subconsciously or even as a joke. And sometimes it happens in all seriousness. And there may be several reasons for this.

Why do bitchy thoughts about cheating arise?

1. There are not enough bright sensations in life, I want to take risks. This happens to those who are not happy with a measured and calm family life. But here you need to think - are you ready to put the whole ship of happiness on the line for the sake of one “pirate schooner”? If yes, go for it.
2. Sex with my husband has become “insipid.” The site “studied” numerous women’s forums with reviews on the topic “I want to cheat on my husband” and letters from regular readers and came to the conclusion that for many it is easier to cheat for the sake of enjoying sex than to try to improve this aspect of the relationship with a spouse. Well, it's up to everyone. Although sometimes betrayal is really the only possible way out. For example, if your husband doesn’t like to do cunnilingus, but you, well, really want it.
3. Some people just lack communication. Sex with my husband seems to be enough, but light flirting on the side seems harmless at first. At first you reassure yourself that just emotional conversations and common hobbies won’t hurt, but sooner or later all this develops into physical betrayal. Or sometimes even such women, after several weeks of communicating with a “friend,” create a topic on the forums “I want to cheat on my husband,” asking for feedback and advice on how best to do everything.

By the way, some people go no further than virtual flirting. Or further correspondence on intimate topics. Here everyone judges in their own way whether this is considered treason. Or is this simply the realization of sexual fantasies, and should not be “lynched” too strictly? Of course, husbands are usually not aware of such virtual correspondence between their spouses. And rightly so: they know less, they sleep better.

From thoughts to actions

For some, the thought: “I want to cheat on my husband,” according to reviews, does not go further than fantasy. Because it’s one thing when it’s a lightning impulse - you succumbed to feelings and couldn’t resist. And it’s another thing when you think about it for a long time and can’t make up your mind.

But the proverb about striking while the iron is hot does not apply here. If you’ve already decided: “I want to cheat on my husband,” look at the reviews, they will be a little lower.

How to choose a “deputy prince”?

So, you decided not to get a divorce, but just to cheat? Therefore, your lover should be the “deputy” of your main “prince” in life, so that a situation does not arise, like at the end of the fairy tale about the goldfish... Well, remember, about the broken trough?..

So find someone who:

• will understand that things will not go further than a love affair;
• will be ready to fulfill your sexual fantasies;
• will not bombard you with messages and calls;
• will be cheerful and energetic;
• definitely healthy.

Make sure your contraception is reliable! Agree, you don’t want to expose yourself to your husband. And even more so if the “traitors” turn out to be infections, serious illnesses or an unexpected pregnancy.

Do you want to cheat on your husband? Finding the right lover is not so easy!

And it is better that the person is not married. Otherwise, if his wife finds out, it is still unknown how she will react. It can disgrace you like that: it won’t seem like enough. And at the same time he will tell yours everything.

I want to cheat on my husband: reviews

• I never thought that this would happen to me. She loved her madly. And then somehow everything became so boring and I was already communicating virtually with another man, then we even met a couple of times and kissed. It didn’t come to sex, but I already consider it cheating and blame myself. And now I’m still afraid that my husband will somehow find out. Serena.
• I just asked a search engine the query “I want to change my husband’s reviews”, read it, and just started thinking about how best to do everything. And here he is like this the next day - nervous, angry. It turns out that he is monitoring my history!!! In general, it was necessary to encrypt even better. Otherwise, it wasn’t even possible to plan it - it was already presented. Bee.
• Mine cheated on me, and I decided to take revenge on him. But I was so drawn in, I fell in love. Now I'm thinking about how to get a divorce. Because I have a married lover. And I’m afraid to ask if he’s ready to divorce his madam. Ninel.
• Constant travel, business trips, hockey, volleyball, friends... And I’m alone with my child. I want to change it just out of anger at him, but I can’t. Where will I take the child?.. Larisa.

So, although there is a common phrase floating around social networks that a woman does not cheat, but either fell in love with another, or is taking revenge for betrayal, it is difficult to unequivocally agree with it. For example, there are situations when you love your spouse, but you want “strawberries” on the side. Well, not only men are “walkers”. Or, let’s say, the man didn’t cheat, but yes, you are taking revenge, but: for indifference, constant travel, offensive words... But only you can decide whether it is right in all these situations to firmly declare: “I want to cheat on my husband.

»?

Probably every woman at least once in her life has thought about why a married man needs a mistress? What's the point of getting another woman if you already have one? Besides, there is no benefit here. More like losses: in addition to his family, the husband must also spend money on passion number two. And from a psychological point of view, it’s not very comfortable. Hiding, lying, obfuscating tracks is a complete headache.

Why isn’t a person drawn to home, to a cozy nest, where a delicious dinner, a loved one and a “faithful” sofa await? After all, even if he has a great time with someone else, payback still comes later: he is forced to be nervous, constantly lie and strain his brain, inventing more and more excuses for his wife. And then, does an unfaithful person really care so much about the feelings of his other half? If yes, then why hasn't he filed for divorce yet? Why does he torment and test the patience of the one who waits, cooks, and caresss? Even if she doesn’t realize it, even if she’s not jealous or suspicious by nature, it’s all the same - why? What is the point?

It’s even more incomprehensible when the situation is exactly the opposite: the first guesses and is jealous, the second pesters you with questions: when will you marry me? After all, here the faithful has to be fully armed on two fronts at once - to lie plausibly on one and eloquently promise to the other. At the same time, every time, find the strength to defend yourself from female attacks. And not every representative of the stronger sex can withstand this. Therefore, when deciding on such an act, a married man should think three times and carefully imagine the situation in his head.

A reasonable view of things would suggest making a new girlfriend after first filing for divorce from your former flame. After all, this is quite logical! However, if love relationships were based on logic, then, for sure, there would be no relationship at all. If you throw away the husk and leave the essence, it will become clear that during the period of rubbing against each other, people have only learned to skillfully play on their nerves. The desire to continue the game only shows that there is no logic in gender relations.

But despite the absurdity, we will still try to find a more or less intelligible explanation for why husbands take a mistress?

What does a married lover look for on the side?

It is quite possible to distinguish the behavior of a married lover from the psychology of a bachelor. Their behavior differs favorably, therefore every sensible lady, after conducting a full analysis, is able to find out which of them is which. Most of the fair sex, having encountered a love triangle from their own experience, are confident that the main reason for infidelity is natural polygamy. But not every person knows that betrayal can have other, deeper roots. They are hidden in psychological disorders. And the most popular root cause is the inharmonious relationship of parents. Let's look at examples:

• The boy grew up in an atmosphere of abuse and became a participant in scandals. He was an involuntary witness to his parents’ “revelations,” during which he learned unpleasant details of their personal lives. As the boy grew up, he became unable to perceive, much less resolve, conflicts in his own family. Subconsciously, he will always seek shelter and be drawn to a place where he will be accepted with his sorrows, fears and shortcomings. If such a married man’s marriage does not work out, a new passion appears. And if she has sufficient intelligence, then she will certainly take advantage of this complex, clearly building an appropriate line of action. It will create conditions in which the sufferer will feel complete comfort. After all, he is experiencing torment at home, and his new girlfriend treats him more than loyally
• The parents were too busy with work, activities, and themselves, forgetting that they needed to have a heart-to-heart talk with the boy. Lack of attention, care, respect, as well as behavior that seems strange to a child causes the child to feel artificial. Growing up, a person cannot give a clear definition of fidelity and does not understand the whole essence of the question: is it possible to cheat on someone who is devoted to you. Therefore, even minor troubles can shake an already fragile family peace.
• Failure in the first sexual experience. If, during the first sex, a girl openly expressed her dissatisfaction, and even laughed at her partner, the guy’s subconscious will launch a search mode from that moment. For most of his life, he will strive to increase his self-esteem or, if you want, to confirm his status in his own eyes. A wise lady, into whose hands such a strange husband has fallen, admires in every possible way the potential and sexual power of her suitor. This way she holds him for as long as possible.
• The boy takes an example from his weak father. When complete matriarchy reigns in the family, and the son’s upbringing takes place under the tireless control of the mother, the guy “drags” oppression and depression into adulthood. And if, at the same time, his legal chosen one looks like his mother (which is very predictable), another lady comes to the rescue - the one who successfully conducts sexual psychotherapeutic sessions. That is, here the moment of relief of the soul is important for the faithful - he discusses his troubles, complains about the futility of family life and finds confirmation of his words in the eyes of his new beloved. And when he comes home, happy and satisfied, he continues to allow himself to be humiliated among his family.

Reasons for female infidelity

Women are monogamous by nature. Therefore, cheating is a sign of a serious crisis in a relationship. It’s worth figuring out what reasons might push her to take this step.

Emotional vacuum

A woman needs emotional intimacy and attention from her partner. If a man is not interested in his lady’s feelings and considers them unworthy of attention, she begins to feel lonely and unnecessary. Realizing the lack of attention to herself, the girl becomes vulnerable.

And if at this moment another guy begins to look after her, show care and sensitivity, then betrayal may occur unintentionally. Which does not relieve the traitor of the blame for what happened.

Loneliness

If a man spends almost 24 hours a day at work or often goes on long business trips, the woman experiences a feeling of loneliness. She may even feel abandoned.

This feeling intensifies if, in rare moments of being together, the chosen one does not pay enough attention to his partner. Therefore, the lady takes a lover to overcome loneliness. But the woman does not plan to break off relations with the man with whom she lives.

This also includes those cases when the partner is physically nearby, but in terms of his range of interests he is very far from the partner. He is more drawn to virtual reality, to watching TV, to drinking beer with friends, but not to his chosen one. And if she does not dare to leave such a man and continues to live with him, then, most likely, she will soon have a lover with whom she will again feel interesting and desirable.

Boredom

In many couples, stormy emotions and trembling excitement are replaced by calm and boredom. This is especially true for marriages. The man had already won his girlfriend and calmed down. He no longer needs to actively court her, invite her on dates, constantly surprise her and give gifts.

Now she belongs to him. At least that's what he thinks. Therefore, he prefers chatting with friends, watching TV or playing computer games to spending time with his significant other. These are the reasons why a wife cheats on her husband.

A girl can have a hard time experiencing such changes in relationships. She will make every effort to change the situation and again “revive” monotonous and boring relationships. But if her chosen one does not meet her halfway, she may decide to cheat. Secrecy, excitement and passion will create a surge of pleasant emotions. At the same time, the girl will still love her permanent partner.

Sexual dissatisfaction

Sex, like emotional intimacy, is one of the main components of a relationship. At the moment of orgasm, the female body produces a fivefold dose of the happiness hormone - oxytocin. This hormone increases attraction to a partner, strengthens the feeling of intimacy, unity and harmony with the chosen one. Therefore, lack of sex may well become the cause of female infidelity.

Because a husband often denies his wife intimacy, a woman may get the impression that he is no longer attracted to her. Therefore, in order to feel desired again, she takes on a lover.

The other side of this issue is not the quantity, but the quality of sex. It happens that a couple has a lot of sex, but the game consistently “goes one way.” If at the same time a man makes no attempt to change the situation and qualitatively satisfy his partner, then most likely the matter will end in female infidelity. A woman will satisfy her need for sex on the side.

Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the most common reasons why a wife cheats on her husband.

Revenge

The reason for female infidelity may lie in a very strong desire to take revenge on her man for the complete betrayal. At the same time, the woman will not intentionally hide the fact of betrayal in order to cause him pain and suffering. Physical intimacy with her lover itself is unlikely to bring her anything other than sexual satisfaction. And even that is not a fact!

By cheating, a girl can take revenge not only for betrayal, but also for the rude attitude, humiliation, assault or drunkenness of her man. This is a kind of act of protest. At the same time, she will not rush to leave her chosen one, hoping that he will come to his senses and the relationship will improve again. These are also the reasons why a wife cheats on her husband.

Money

A girl who is too fixated on material goods can cheat on a man if he is not able to provide for her and cover all expenses. To do this, she takes on a rich lover, but continues to live with her beloved guy.

However, women are more likely to cheat on their men, even when they have money and the couple does not feel the need. Financial success increases the level of the male hormone testosterone in the female body.

A successful lady depends less and less on her partner. Her level of the female hormone estrogen decreases. Such women are much more likely to want to have a one-night stand just to have fun.

In married women who are more financially dependent on their husbands, estrogen levels are much higher than testosterone levels. Therefore, they are more attached to their partner.

However, one should not assume that all representatives of the fairer sex who have achieved financial success cheat on their men. This can only strengthen the existing desire to commit treason.

Career

Cheating can even occur for the sake of career growth and obtaining the desired high position. Unfortunately, nowadays such cases are not uncommon. Most often, the initiator of an illegal relationship is a male leader, but there are cases when a woman herself expresses readiness to take such a step.

A break up

Breaking off a relationship, especially a long-term one, is not easy. The girl is afraid to admit to the guy that her old feelings have disappeared. Therefore, she decides to cheat in order to burn all bridges and end the relationship forever. In general, this happens quite rarely.

More often, a woman takes a lover in order to start a new relationship and not be left alone after breaking up an old one.

Age-related changes

With age, a woman begins to notice the loss of some qualities that previously made her attractive to members of the opposite sex.

Ladies begin to feel this especially acutely after 40 years. If your beloved man has already forgotten how to give compliments and has long stopped admiring his companion, she will again want to feel desired and sexually in demand. And he will begin to look for confirmation of this on the side.

Emotional immaturity

It happens that very young girls strive to start a serious relationship and even get married as soon as possible. Such a rush leads to the fact that partners do not have time to get to know each other properly. Subsequently, disappointment sets in in family life.

The girl has no emotional, physical, or material satisfaction. Therefore, she takes an example from her unmarried friends and begins, as they say, to walk.

A special type of woman

Despite the fact that women are monogamous by nature, even among them there are sometimes easily accessible young ladies. They like to change men frequently. The girl experiences great pleasure from this. At the same time, she is comfortable living with a guy who is resigned to her adventures, endures everything and constantly forgives her. These also happen.

There is such a psychological diagnosis as nymphomania. This is a phenomenon in which a girl constantly experiences sexual desire and wants sex. She changes sexual partners very often. This psychological illness does not allow her to remain faithful.

Lost Ideal

The complexes listed above are not always the true cause of adultery. Often it lies on the very surface and detailed personality analyzes are not needed to calculate it. There are examples when everything is wonderful in the life of a married man - a beautiful wife, good relationships, home, comfort, wealth - but he still cares. Why? Because he is looking for an ideal.

A psychological predisposition to an irrepressible desire to obtain an ideal forces an unfaithful man to change women like gloves. Even in the conditions of terrible pragmatism that reigns in our world, you can meet a representative of the stronger sex dreaming of a beautiful and... non-existent lady. The craving for illusions begins at an early age. If it is not sent in a positive direction in time, it will guide a person all his life. Falling in love with the one with whom he will later enter into a marriage union, the guy praises her to the skies. What happens then is clear: illusory ideas are shattered, the guy seems to see the light and realizes that the chosen one is not a goddess at all, she is an ordinary person! Disappointment leads to the idea of ​​continuing the search for perfection or, simply put, cheating on your wife. If such an opportunity arises, the dreamer again plunges headlong into the pool, being absolutely sure that he has now found what he has been looking for for so long. And he's partly right. After all, here he is not privy to everyday details, financial troubles and intimate problems. There are none here, there is only unearthly bliss. But such a perception will exist until the “goddess makes a mistake” and makes it clear that she is also an ordinary person. It is logical that the desire to find the ideal will resume with renewed vigor.

The dreamer type is very common. When marrying a seeker guy, a girl should know that it will be very difficult for her. To keep such a type near you, a beautiful person simply must be perfect. Otherwise, the dreamer will be disappointed and leave for someone else. It is possible to be perfect, but you will have to put in a lot of effort.

Although there is another option - to quietly and gently re-educate the faithful. Some people manage to change their loved one’s view of things, but this will require a lot of time, patience and, again, effort.

Is it worth doing?

Should you cheat on your husband? Cheating is a complex topic. For some, it helps restore spiritual harmony and forgive betrayal, evening scores. And some people spend their entire lives repenting of what they did , not daring to tell their significant other.

"Behind"

The positive thing about cheating is that if a woman is married to a tyrant husband, her lover will give her joy, love and drive.

And these emotions can subsequently lead to the unhappy wife deciding to divorce an unloved man.

Also, if a woman is accustomed to living according to the principle of “an eye for an eye” and has high self-esteem, retaliatory betrayal will help her survive a blow in the back from her husband.

Another condition in which infidelity can help is a marriage in which sex is absent due to the man’s sexual incompetence (illness, injury, early impotence, etc.).

A woman loves her husband and does not want to get a divorce, but she does not intend to give up sex life.

A lover will help solve this problem and save the family. However, the woman will have to make a difficult choice: hide her relationship or talk openly with her husband.

"Against"

Treason can be committed as an act dictated by emotions , which does not carry meaning and will lead to repentance.

Sometimes a woman experiences difficult experiences after betrayal, feeling used (especially if her husband was her first man).

High moral principles and traditional upbringing lead to the fact that the presence of a lover makes the representative of the weaker half of humanity “dirty” and “insignificant” in her own eyes.

If the cheater decides to hide the fact of betrayal, she will have to keep the secret from everyone, remember and consistently retell her “legend” if necessary.

Cheating can lead to a feeling of false love, which develops against the background of adrenaline, resentment, etc.

If the situation goes far enough, the woman will file for divorce and go to her “prince,” but later realizes that she was mistaken and destroyed a strong marriage.

"An eye for an eye"

Should you cheat on your husband just because he cheated on you?

Perhaps the first reaction to betrayal will be a desire for revenge .

Misunderstanding, a feeling of acute resentment, as if there was a lump of cold and misunderstanding in my throat.

Why did he do this? What about the years we lived together? What about vows and happy moments? What about the difficulties that have become just a memory thanks to joint work? A swarm of thoughts swirls in your head, pushing you to strike back .

But falling for these thoughts means making a mistake. When the first and acute emotions subside, the woman will have to look at the situation with a sober look.

And perhaps she will evaluate her husband’s actions completely differently, and will be able to forgive or find a way to restore internal balance. But if by this moment the woman has already found a lover, the situation cannot be corrected .

Antidepressant

Everything is clear with the ideal - the dreamer is looking for beauty. But why are some representatives attracted to girls with completely ordinary appearance? And sometimes even many times inferior to their own spouse? What's the secret?

A classic family is built on a standard basis: the spouse produces, protects, and patronizes. Every diligent family man tries to fit himself into this framework. But sometimes a discrepancy occurs - there is less money than required, promotions do not occur, everyday problems incapacitate. Even if the other half provides moral support and does not show his dissatisfaction, the husband’s faith in his abilities weakens significantly. He feels guilty.

And then suddenly a certain third person appears in life, who, for some reason, admires the loser. A desperate person will most likely grab the last straw of hope and not even think about whether he should cheat on his wife. After all, from now on the lady is his personal antidepressant, and he himself is the owner of life-affirming power. What about the appearance? Does it matter? Even if she looks worse than her legal wife, even if her cooking tastes bad, the main thing is that the loser suddenly became an object of surprise and delight!

Consequences

The consequences of betrayal depend both on the character of the woman herself and on the degree of awareness of the man.

Husband knows about cheating

If a husband finds out about the betrayal himself or from his wife, he may not forgive the woman for such an act (after all, men are more sensitive to the intimate relationship of their partner on the side).

As a result, an attempt to restore justice will lead to divorce, financial instability (if the husband provides for his wife), and psychological trauma for children (if the spouses have children together).

Another scenario is also possible, in which the spouses maintain the marriage , but cannot forgive each other.

A man is firmly confident that he is right (according to most men, the stronger sex has the right to be polygamous) and that his wife is a sinner who allowed herself to have a promiscuous relationship. This results in a tense situation in the family , quarrels out of nowhere and reproaches.

The man knows nothing

If a spouse has brought his wife a lot of grief, she will receive satisfaction from punishing him through betrayal. But if the husband is a generally good person, the woman will suffer from remorse .

She will have to hide her adventures, invent legends and constantly worry about the danger of being declassified. All this will lead to neuroses, nervous breakdowns and emotional instability.

The danger of female infidelity also lies in the fact that women are traditionally instilled with the belief “having sex is bad and dirty.” Against this background, many representatives of the fair sex develop tensions, complexes , etc.

Well, what can we say about treason, if even sex life with a legitimate husband causes remorse.

A woman suffering from destructive attitudes , after betrayal, simply gives up on herself and withdraws, experiencing a constant feeling of shame and incredible remorse.

Psychology of a married lover in relation to his mistress

The model of behavior of the representative of the stronger sex, which is about, emerges gradually. When receiving the first experience of the forbidden fruit, the lover creates something like this:

• Establishes increased control over your speech.
• Monitors the movements and possible places of stay of the new passion.
• Makes every effort to avoid being seen by his legal spouse, friends, and acquaintances during meetings.
• Creates an action plan for the day, where he calculates all moves in advance.
• Activates attentiveness and thought process.

So is it worth it if, in addition to sexual pleasures, there is only one plus - active brain activity? The rest is more likely to be a disadvantage, since control and tough miscalculation entail tension, and later fatigue and the desire to get rid of the burden of lies.

There is another type of unfaithful guy - the “stray”. The word speaks for itself, because the psychology of adultery in this case is simpler: the guy was forced to marry by the girl’s unplanned pregnancy. Agree that the strength of such a marriage is very doubtful. The guy is driven into a corner and sees the girl not as his beloved, but rather as a supervisor. He is actively looking for an outlet and finds it in the arms of a cheerful “other.”

The act is sometimes justifiable, since there are girls who plan a pregnancy in secret from their chosen one (in order to set up a network for a future marriage). After the baby is born, they place responsibility on the “victim.” Under such pressure, the guy feels guilty and then goes “to the left” to make up for the missing dominance. Thus, a disadvantaged person has the opportunity to:

• Enjoy pure intimacy (without subsequent moralizing).
• Improve mental and physical well-being.
• Get a burst of energy.

Does a man need such love? Undoubtedly. But it's better if she's honest. Sooner or later, the “stray” marriage will fall apart. Even if there are no connections “on the side,” it will fall apart. Therefore, the point here is not even about the novel, but about how honest people are with themselves.

But let’s return to the model of behavior and find out what the true role of a mistress is in a person’s life, what changes occur thanks to her?

The most important change is the desire of the faithful to conform to perfection. Unpredictability, flashes of inspiration, the desire to act and strive for goals - the faithful are under such influence during the period of an affair. And a new connection is attracted by nothing other than the unknown. The mistress has her own unknown life, interests, affairs, successes. And at home - boring pies, children, grumbling, complaints. The missus is always nearby, you don’t need to woo her to fulfill your marital duty. Unlike the other one. Who, besides sex, has a lot of important things to do, and who can be elusive. This is what gives love its ardor and attraction.

Subconscious desire to end the relationship.

Everything secret becomes clear someday

The danger of exposure in a situation of betrayal is great. Moreover, no one guarantees safety in keeping a secret on the part of the lover.

Persuasions and requests not to disclose the existence of a relationship can be ignored if feelings interfere with the relationship. In this case, one should think: if the matter is not a desire for revenge, not an extreme degree of dissatisfaction in family life, then could it be that the marital relationship has outlived its usefulness?

It’s not that there are no reasons for divorce... maybe there are, but not global ones. But there is a feeling that you are missing something in life. That somewhere out there your true soulmate is looking for you, but you won’t meet her until you feel freedom from your existing relationship. That is, betrayal is a reason here.

The offended spouse leaves, and you become free. This is a rather sophisticated way to end a relationship, but it has a place in the life of a married couple.

What to do?

Sometimes you just shouldn’t be afraid to look your own reflection in the eye. If ending a relationship is what you really want, then you have the right to end it. A specialist will help you understand yourself, understand the true motives for the need for betrayal, get rid of feelings of guilt and come to an agreement with yourself.

What to do if you want to, but it hurts?

What to do if on one side of the scale there is an irresistible craving for another woman, and on the other - the family that you value? For some, the first forbidden relationship occurs spontaneously, and subsequent ones “follow the established pattern,” so for cheaters the question does not arise: what to do if you want to change? They don’t even have time to evaluate their actions, because at first there is no conscience at all. Seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, a person does not have time to think about how love will turn out for marriage.

But what about a conscious individual? To someone who thinks before acting? How do you know whether to listen to your heart or your mind?

It is, of course, difficult to help here. But we'll try. We will at least try to warn you about possible developments. Below are the arguments that will become food for thought on the path to treason:

• If you want a forbidden relationship, then you are no longer satisfied with the legal one, so first try to improve them.
• If you truly love your soulmate, but you want a thrill, remember that afterwards, most likely, a feeling of guilt will come, as well as fear so that she does not find out about what happened.
• Think about whether it is necessary to change if the reason for adultery is faded passion? Look for it in yourself, turn on your imagination, make your woman blossom from new love for you.
• There are women who do not forgive cheating. They leave immediately and forever. Ask yourself, do you want to lose your true soul mate?
• After betrayal, your couple will take a very long time to reconnect. Not a month, not two, but years. The person who was betrayed will remember this all his life - the imprint on the relationship will also remain for life. Is it worth it?
• After an offense, suspicions on the part of your beloved will continue to haunt you for a long time. Do you need this kind of discomfort?
• Don't forget about sexual diseases. Often, at the moment of ardent passion, there is no time for contraception, so the likelihood of getting infected increases. And even if the illness does not threaten serious consequences, imagine how you will feel when this secret is revealed.

Also, a potential cheater should not forget that mistresses are smart and cunning. At first, a friend may insist that an open relationship is what she needs. She will admire you, love you, adore you, etc. But over time, the position will change, because deep in her soul there still glimmers the hope of getting you entirely. And nerve-racking is not the worst thing that will befall you. An insidious passion can use the most resourceful and life-changing method - to inform your spouse about the affair.

Therefore, if you are still at the stage of thinking, think well. And think not only about your pleasure, new sensations and variety, but also about those who are dear to you, who trust you as themselves and who may not be able to survive such a blow as betrayal.

Alina woke up thinking that she was tired of everything. She pictured the most unenviable prospect for today: breakfast, school, cleaning and cooking, homework, TV. She is a young, beautiful, promising woman who lives as a housekeeper. The faithful one is not at all interested in her. New hairstyle? He did not notice. Not a wife, but a dinner warmer. And she wants to be a woman: desired, loved. I want to be showered with compliments and given flowers. And then Alina felt an irresistible desire to cheat on her husband.

Almost every woman admits the thought of possible betrayal. What to do if you want to cheat on your husband? Should we fight such temptations or give in to them without hesitation?

GuruTest

Cheating is not always physical. It is not at all necessary to share a bed with another man. Many women simply meet people and disappear from the horizon to boost their self-esteem. But if you still decide to commit a full-fledged betrayal with all the ensuing consequences, then read the guide on how not to get burned.

Confirm your attractiveness to men

Many women spend 10, 20 or more years in relationships and marriages. This is very difficult because any lady needs constant confirmation that she is beautiful. Even if the man she loves compliments her, it may still not be enough for her.

In this case, treason can be explained, although not justified. Psychologists note that in this case there is no need to go beyond flirting. It’s enough just to understand that a man really likes you, and then stop developing the relationship. It is important to select such men correctly, because there are very persistent ones who can jeopardize the marriage.

The woman got bored

Sometimes everything in a relationship is perfect, but boring. There is no longer the drive that there was a couple of years ago. This also pushes women into adultery, although love is strong and everything is fine. In love there must be emotions, but sometimes they are gradually replaced by work and routine.

If a husband cannot provide his beloved with emotions, then another man can do this. This is the second most common reason for cheating among women who do not intend to leave their current partner.

Past grievances

We are talking about his trips to the left in the past. Sometimes you don’t want to take revenge, but simply restore justice. The woman has long forgiven her lover for an old mistake, but there is still the thought in her head that she can do the same.

Then cheating turns into a way to restore balance in the relationship. It happens that a handsome representative of the stronger sex meets on the way, and some ladies allow themselves this weakness if their husbands did the same before.

The opportunity to feel special

This is not about pleasure or flirting, not about the desire to feel the most beautiful, but simply about breaking some rule. Vivid emotions are again involved here, without which many people consider life too dull.

Many lawbreakers say the same thing about their criminal activities. They steal not to become richer, but to break the rules, to feel like someone who is different from the rest. The same rule applies to cheating.

Parental prohibitions

Often as a child, my mother said that you should not communicate with certain boys. Now the girl has grown up and can decide for herself. All those former prohibitions can force you to cheat on your husband at one moment, just to be convinced of the incorrectness or, conversely, the correctness of other people’s prohibitions and advice.

This is a very common reason for cheating because many people have childhood unanswered questions that need to be dealt with. It’s not for nothing that psychologists say that everything comes from childhood.

Husband's jealousy

A jealous man also forbids his partner a lot of things. If she lives in this rhythm for several years, she may want to cheat on her lover, because prohibitions always provoke us to take risks.

For the same reason, jealous people very often “turn out to be right.” They expect their wife to cheat on them because they do not trust her due to the peculiarities of their thinking. A woman feels this, so sometimes it seems that everything we think about and fear comes true.

What Science Says

Dopamine, the addiction hormone, is to blame for everything. It is he who creates attraction and love. The initial relationship and passion rest on him completely, but then he stops coping because he slowly disappears. For this reason, we sometimes need a new person, although we like our regular partner and are satisfied with everything.

In order not to want to walk to the left, it is important to continue hugging and snuggling with each other. In this case, more oxytocin is produced, which causes attachment. This shatters the theory that physical dissatisfaction and quarrels lead to cheating.

Many people live by the principle: I have cheated, I am cheating and I will cheat. Read the revelations of women who are not faithful in marriage, but continue to love their husband, and therefore are happy. Do you think it is possible to combine betrayal and love?

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27 October 01:46

Why do you want to cheat on your husband?

• Thirst for thrills.
  Just remember Emma Bovary. Often a woman who spends most of her time at home, caring for her family and children, begins to feel that life is passing her by. This is greatly facilitated by social networks, where friends practically do not talk about their difficulties and problems, filling the feed with posts about their breathtaking adventures and travels.
• Lack of attention from the husband.
  When he withdraws on a mental and physical level, motivating him by being busy at work. The former passion fades away, replaced by routine and scheduled sex. Compliments and flowers gradually disappear, and the conversation comes down to phrases: “Hello,” “Bye,” “What to eat?”
• Meeting with an interesting and charming young man,
  whose gaze makes your blood boil. It doesn’t matter whether it was in the park near home or on the Internet.
• The desire to receive comfort and support from the outside.
  A woman is an emotional person. If she cannot give vent to her emotions in the family, then she looks for a courageous shoulder outside the home.

What to do with your desire to cheat on your husband

There are two options here: succumb to this desire or fight it. If you cannot resist the temptation to try on the image of a temptress, then decide what meaning you fill your potential lover with. Do you need a person for a “virtual romance” or just for physical intimacy?

In any case, you have to find a man:

• easy to communicate;
• not married;
• willing to play a secondary role in your life and not bother you with untimely reminders of yourself;
• able to navigate an unexpected situation;
• free from sexually transmitted diseases (it is advisable to ensure the absence of them in a timely manner).

You also need to prepare yourself, because cheating is not just bliss without obligations. Adultery also entails some difficulties:

• remorse may appear (especially at first);
• stress due to fear of being exposed (although there is also some adrenaline in this, which gives betrayal a special piquancy);
• disruption of the usual rhythm of life;
• tension due to constant self-control;
• condemnation from conservative society.

If, along with a thirst for betrayal, you feel the fear of losing your family, you should analyze what exactly pushes you to infidelity. Often the desire to change is inseparable from the desire to level out family troubles. But psychologists say that by running away from difficulties, we do not get rid of them. We either overcome the problems that arise or weave them into our lives through a series of patterns.

Therefore, it’s worth thinking about, maybe, after all, not giving in to this sweet temptation?

What consequences can an affair have on the side?

Everything has its pros and cons. The advantages are already clear, let’s focus on the disadvantages of such a relationship:

• you have to constantly strain in attempts to hide the presence of a friend from your spouse, relatives and friends. Because what two people know, a pig also knows, so it’s good to keep a secret alone;
• it is necessary to constantly maintain oneself in a state of readiness to leave, especially if the other one is also not free. Sometimes you have to imitate passion - but isn’t that something you’re already tired of trying on again in marriage? Constant self-control makes life very difficult, sometimes makes you get confused in basic things, forget what and to whom you said and with which partner you had certain most vivid impressions;
• the joy of communication will be accompanied by constant fears - no matter how anyone sees it; what if your friend leaves you; what if he has someone else besides you; and if he tells or begins to advertise the relationship... And there will be a lot of such reasons for fear and tension;
• Apart from sex, you may not be connected by anything else - you also need to be prepared for this. That is, the option “to talk” is not always realistic;
• sex that is so joyful and daring at first can turn into a routine just like a relationship with your husband;
• the risk of sexually transmitted diseases or unexpected pregnancy cannot be excluded;
• The risk of ruining the marriage will always come first. Especially if this was not the original goal.
• pangs of conscience will become frequent;
• possible public censure if the situation becomes publicly known.

If you are trying to protect yourself as much as possible during extramarital games, there are some questions worth thinking about:

• What exactly do I want to get from this relationship and my temporary partner?
• What risks might arise from this? Am I ready for them?
• What will I offer my partner and how much does he need it?

How to overcome the desire to cheat on your husband

First, return to reality.

Women's novels, magazines, and social networks often erase our perception of reality and force us to place inflated demands on our husbands, ourselves, and our lives. The wife and husband are equally responsible for the happiness of the marriage. She has the power to make her husband feel like (and subsequently actually become) a strong, interesting, charming man.

Secondly, do not feed your desire to change.

One wise man said: “We cannot stop birds from flying over our heads, but we will not allow them to land on our heads and build their nests on it.” If the thought of betrayal comes to you, let it go, don’t build a nest for it in your head. Avoid dating sites and instead of looking at photos of muscular men or potential lovers, look through your family album.

Thirdly, efforts must be made to resolve disagreements that have arisen in the family.

Seek support from your husband, take time to have a heart-to-heart talk with him, or sign up for a psychologist consultation together, contact a family psychologist-consultant. Be prepared to forgive and ask for forgiveness yourself.

It is important to understand where the idea of ​​treason came from. By itself, it cannot solve your problems. Of course, you can expect many sweet moments, but a positive result from adultery is possible only in two ways: you will be able to hide all traces of the crime, or your husband will be able to forgive and forget everything.

Our online psychologists are ready to advise you on any questions you may have at any time. Contact us via chat, via Skype, email, or just call the phone number listed on the website.

According to statistics, women want to cheat on their partner no less often than men. Have you also thought about this, because your husband has become less attentive, doesn’t give compliments, doesn’t pay attention, all the tenderness has disappeared somewhere, and it’s better not to mention sexual relations at all? Yes, it’s unpleasant and painful, but you shouldn’t rush headlong into the pool, and we’ll tell you why. You will learn what can serve as a reason for betrayal, what consequences should be expected, what to do if desire prevents you from sleeping or eating.

Here are the most common reasons:

1. Revenge
   . This is precisely the predictable reaction of a woman to her husband’s betrayal, the desire for revenge, resentment, and misunderstanding of the reasons for his action. But don’t rush (we’ll tell you why later).
2. Lack of sex
   . If you are tired of your spouse's fatigue, constant refusal of intimate relationships, the nights he spends on the couch watching movies are annoying. Then self-doubt and anger at the partner appear.
3. Behavior or bad habits
   . A sharp or gradual change in attitude towards you, manifestation of cruelty, lack of interest in you, compliments.
4. Unjustified expectations
   . Each couple is individual, but there is always routine in family life, lack of money, scandals, disharmony, change of hobbies, career growth of one of the spouses, unfulfillment of the other half. When there is no understanding or your expectations do not correspond to current events, thoughts of betrayal appear.
5. Love has passed
   . This is the most terrible, but justified reason. You have been together for many years, you have a common cause, children, many other connections, a stable life. Boring consistency. In your spouse you see a friend, a respected, but not a beloved man.

How to get rid of the desire to change

Analyze your relationship with your spouse . How did they differ from those when you looked at your beloved with loving eyes and even in your thoughts could not allow betrayal on your part? Take a piece of paper, divide it in half and write briefly “before” on one half and “after” on the other. Find the differences.

One day your partner said or did something that hurt you. And you regarded this as a betrayal on his part. If you don’t immediately deal with the situation and your feelings, then the level of trust decreases , talking openly about your emotions becomes problematic, and sometimes even unbearable.

This provokes cooling in relationships . They cease to be deep and sincere, although they may seem beautiful in appearance. Over time, such cracks between spouses turn into a deep chasm.

Remember all your grievances against your partner, what makes you angry, and have a heart-to-heart talk with him. But before you do this, write a letter in which you list the unpleasant situations that offended you. Describe what hopes and dreams he buried with his attitude, tell him that you feel betrayed.

You should write until you have the desire to say words of love and gratitude to him. If there is too much resentment and pain, go see a psychologist. And only when the pain subsides, talk about it with your husband .

Why shouldn't this be done until the pain goes away? Because you will not be able to talk about your feelings, but will only blame your chosen one. Talk about exactly what actions offended you, because he might not even know about it. In a fit of anger, you will not be able to express yourself clearly, but honesty and sincerity are so important in relationships . By freeing yourself from resentment, you can restore your level of trust and get rid of the desire to go “left”.

If, after writing a letter and a direct conversation, you realize that you are strangers, be honest about it. After all, living with an unloved person and dreaming of someone else is real violence towards oneself.

Is it worth betraying if your husband cheated?

Before cheating on your boyfriend or husband, psychologists advise answering a few simple questions:

• What is the purpose of betrayal: to return blow to blow so that he feels what you felt? If yes, then revenge is a bad thing.
• What could be the consequences, satisfaction in the style: “I can do this too”? If yes, then, believe me, your soul will be scratched later.
• Will you blame yourself after what happened? Just imagine if your husband sincerely repented, decided to start all over again, and you ruin everything!
• Will the fact itself bring satisfaction? Everything here is purely individual, depending on upbringing and lifestyle. Maybe after this you will suffer more; your conscience will not let you sleep normally. To check the box, consider virtual infidelity.
• Do you want purely physical sensations or something more? If the latter, then it is unlikely that anyone will give it to you, because rapprochement takes time. But without intimacy, intimacy can ruin everything, and then your soul will feel bad, as if you were being used, and not you.

Have you ever thought that you want to change your spouse because this is simply not your soul mate? Here's an article that will help. You will be able to form the image of your chosen one and determine whether your partner fits these parameters.

Most cheating happens because the guy gets cold feet. Here . We shed light on the reasons for this phenomenon and told what to do in such a situation.

Have you decided to leave your husband and stay with your lover, but, alas, he is busy? Try it. This is not always right, but you need to fight for your happiness.

Why you shouldn't cuckold your husband

Treason is deceiving a loved one. You will have to hide secret meetings, invent a reason for absence, and be afraid of exposure. A woman under constant stress becomes more distracted, embittered, and due to lack of time, stops taking care of herself, is in a hurry and makes mistakes. There is a high probability of dishonesty of the person with whom you want to cheat on your husband.

If you decide on a paid partner, then you should take into account the cost of services. You will need to find an additional source of cash income or allocate the necessary amount from the family budget. And not all girls can afford this!

Also, if you are not too careful, you can unexpectedly bring an STD into your home. This is how it will be a gift for my husband! Are you ready to take on such responsibility?

Reasons for betrayal

Below are the main reasons:

• Revenge. This reason is very common in women. Basically, revenge is taken for an earlier betrayal on the part of the husband, which was never forgiven.
• There is no intimate connection. When you are met with refusal of intimacy over and over again, it begins to irritate. Such behavior can lower self-esteem and cause irritation with your partner.
• Unpleasant behavior or bad habits. When you feel that the attitude towards you has changed, has become tougher, or, conversely, your husband’s interest has disappeared.
• Unjustified expectations. All relationships are individual, but none can do without everyday life, routine, the need for wealth, quarrels that arise, and so on. When you expected a wonderful and bright life, but were faced with reality and were disappointed, you may have thoughts of cheating on your loved one.
• Feelings have faded. This reason is the most terrible and, at the same time, justified. You have lived a lot of time together, you have common children, many different connecting moments. However, the relationship has become boring because your spouse has become like a friend to you, having lost the status of a loved one.

What consequences should you prepare for?

There are many options, the main ones are separation, indifference to what is happening or a truce. If your husband files for divorce, be prepared for an independent life, both morally and financially. If a man provided for you, then you will no longer be able to afford much.

Minute desires can destroy a family. Perhaps this is your case. Are you ready to leave behind years of a happy, quiet life and start a new relationship? Are you able to forget what you did? Or you will suffer and worry about why you changed it...

Also, when you want to change, think that your friends and parents might find out about everything, and then they will constantly blame you for the collapse of the family. Do you need it?

Another option is that your lover is unlikely to want to contact you seriously, because who needs a woman who can betray.

What to do if you want to cheat on your husband

There are two options - get rid of this desire and fulfill it. If you decide on the first one, try to change yourself a little. Get a new hairstyle, don’t wear old clothes at home, cook a romantic dinner or invite your spouse on a date, go to the cinema, theater or exhibition.

Have you been married for more than 10 years? This is a great occasion. You will learn how to do this through joint leisure, sex, sports, etc. Show a little attention and interest in his affairs, affection, and you will see how your loved one will change.

It is difficult for a working woman to manage household chores. Set your priorities. Read about the fly lady system. Very informative. Perform small amounts of work every day and the effect is guaranteed!

Are you convinced that betrayal is the way out of the situation? Find a suitable candidate, just not a mutual friend, housemate, colleague or ex-lover. You should also take care of the meeting place. This could be his or a rented apartment, a hotel, a dacha, the back seat of a car, an office, and, under suitable weather conditions, a river or sea bank, or the edge of a forest. Taboo – your apartment with your husband!!!

Come up with an “official version” of your absence from home, provide your rear. This could be a meeting with friends, classmates, colleagues or courses, playing sports or a knitting group. Don't forget about contraception. If, nevertheless, the husband finds out the whole truth, here. You will learn what to say and do, how to behave in order to maintain a relationship.

In this video, the girl sorts out the letters of her subscribers piece by piece and gives advice to girls on what to do, whether to cheat on their husband or not. After such advice, you certainly won’t want to “go left,” and that’s right!:

In your life, only you are responsible for your actions, so think 100 times before you decide to cheat!!! We hope our advice will help you make the only right decision.

How long has it been since you cried over relationship failures? When you suddenly have the desire or question “I want to cheat on my husband,” just remember how difficult it was to create everything and glue everything from small pieces into a single whole.

How can a husband find out about cheating?

Husbands are different. Some cannot even admit the thought that their wife might cheat, so they will not notice the obvious betrayal. And others are very jealous, know all the signs of female infidelity by heart, and carefully monitor their missus. What type is your husband?

Usually a man becomes suspicious if his wife:

1. I began to pay more attention to my appearance and dress up when leaving the house.
2. She pays little attention to her husband and spends less time with him.
3. Avoids marital duty or does it with obvious displeasure, trying to complete the process faster.
4. Increased attention to the phone - she has set a password, does not let go of her hands, leaves the room to talk.
5. I started receiving strange calls late in the evening.
6. Hovering in the clouds, absent-minded.
7. More often absent from home.
8. Does not answer the phone.

So the first thing you need to do is make sure that there are no strong changes in relation to your husband. By doing this, you will lull his vigilance, and he will not meticulously monitor your fidelity.

Why does the desire to change appear and how to fix it?

If you are wondering why you want to cheat on your husband, you need to talk about everything as consistently as possible. The main reasons will be presented first:

1. The love between people just disappeared. This happens, but very rarely. You shouldn’t draw hasty conclusions here, since everything may still work out for you, you may be able to restore your relationship, it’s not difficult.
2. Tired of monotony. Many people don’t like the fact that the same thing awaits them every day. The problem is not so global, but many people pay very much attention to it.
3. The desire to change appears when there is simply a person who outwardly attracts you very much.

How to prevent such desires? It is important to know about this, since actions not taken in time can lead to a divorce. You just need to remember the main points that will no longer make you think about cheating on your loved one:

• Start spending more free time together, because then the question of why you want to cheat on your husband will simply be irrelevant. You won't have enough time for anyone else.
• Try to experiment more, thereby you will make your life more diverse. The desire to be with someone else, when everything is fine with your loved one, will immediately disappear, and you will not have to worry about anything.

Consequences of betrayal

It is important to understand what the consequences will be. Have you lived for a long time without someone who will always support you in difficult times? It is unlikely that a man will be able to forgive you if you deliberately went to another person. You should think about your future. Seeing someone more attractive, you still shouldn’t give in to provocations. You need to remember that your boyfriend loves you, he will never forgive such a betrayal.

What to do if you want to cheat on your husband? An excellent option is to go to a highly qualified psychologist. This option is quite effective, but not everyone is ready to sincerely communicate with a specialist.

Are you still wondering whether you should cheat on your husband if you really want to? No, of course, the answer is negative. You must remember that there are always moments of weakness. You will soon forget about them and will be able to enjoy life with your loved one.

Table of contents

• What triggers thoughts of cheating
• Dissatisfaction in family life
• What to do?
• Desire for revenge
• What to do?
• Desire to end the relationship
• What to do?
• Feelings for another person
• What to do?
• conclusions

When entering into a relationship, hardly any of us entertain the thought of cheating.
The word “treason” generally has a pronounced negative meaning: betrayal of the Motherland, betrayal of a loved one, betrayal of one’s principles, and so on. The word “change” is no longer so jarring; it also has positive meanings: change your attitude towards something, change your usual way of life, change a situation for the better, and so on. But in this article we will discuss specifically about adultery, namely the wife’s desire to cheat on her husband.

What can provoke a woman to think about cheating?

• dissatisfaction in family life
• desire for revenge
• subconscious desire to end the relationship
• feelings for another person