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Every woman dreams of having a family. I want to know that you belong to your husband and children, that you are loved and cared for. And even the number of divorces does not stop women from wanting to get married.
But a happy family is work. And in order to maintain a relationship for many years, you need to work on it. Secrets will help with this, knowing which, a woman will create the happiest family she could ever dream of.
Secrets that make a family happy
Let's start with the fact that by family we mean a man and a woman who decided to go through life next to each other.
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Family relationships are not a way to escape from hopelessness and despair, hoping that another person will fill your life with meaning. This is a mutual decision of two people to give a piece of themselves to the other in order to make the loved one happier.
But even with good intentions, it is not always possible to save a family. So, 9 secrets of psychologists that will make your family prosperous and happier.
Rules and boundaries: each of you knows that you are not allowed to go further
Of course, at first glance this seems harsh, strange, repulsive. But in practice it works. Both men and women know their partner’s personal boundaries that should not be crossed.
For example, a husband knows that raising his hand against his wife is not part of their general relationship rules. Otherwise, separation is inevitable.
Rules, frameworks and boundaries help to respect another person and not do what he doesn’t like. Boundaries will allow a woman not to dissolve in a man, but to remain herself. It is easier for both parties in such a relationship to show respect.
This may be why prenuptial agreements are becoming more common. A person knows this limit line, crossing which he will have to pay.
The ability to shut up in time
The golden rule of a happy family, according to psychologists, which is followed by a man and a woman. Sometimes, in a fit of anger and resentment, we say a lot. You will regret it later, but you will not take back what was said. You can hurt a loved one unconsciously, without wanting to offend.
The ability to shut up in time will help maintain a happy marriage for years. It’s easy to do this - go out and take a walk or make a promise to yourself that for 5 minutes you will be silent and not respond to insult with insult. This helps and it saves the relationship from breaking up.
A comfortable home is very important for a man
That's why men agree to start a family. The knowledge that you will return home in the evening to the woman you love makes you happy and gives you hope. She gives harmony, hope in a bright future, believes in it. The competition is there, outside the home.
Here he relaxes, receives the necessary support and gains strength to move on into a world where men are merciless to each other, where it is important to be competitive.
Plan - where you are heading as a family, where you are moving, goals
According to psychologists, it is important to share this before starting a family and discuss personal views on life.
Where are you going, do you have common goals and a desire to create a cozy home and raise children?
Further, already being married, the man and woman discuss these moments. Awareness of the integrity of the family and the presence of joint desires will help preserve the family.
A question of money
Money is a part of our life. A person has the attitude towards money that he wants. But when it comes to family, opinions may not coincide. And you already take into account not only your needs and desires, but also the needs of your partner.
Sit down, talk honestly and openly - what are your expectations from the financial component of the relationship, do you want your husband to support you, will you maintain a joint budget and other similar issues.
Everyone has “their own” time, in which the partner does not interfere
Psychologists advise giving this time to your significant other voluntarily. Every person in the family sometimes wants to breathe, so that no one stands over their soul. This time also helps you look at yourself separately from your partner and realize your personal preferences and aspirations. The result is strong relationships in the long term.
Spend your free time on self-development. Men do not stop educating themselves and do not give up their hobbies, even when they are married. Women, on the contrary, take care of the family, forgetting about themselves and their own interests. A husband becomes more interested in his wife when she has a favorite hobby. There will be new topics for conversation, it will be more interesting to open ourselves to each other.
My husband is my best friend
Play sports or go on a picnic with your loved one as friends. It is important that there is a feeling - what a wonderful person he is, and how lucky I am that today I am returning home with him.
Be able to ask for forgiveness and build a dialogue
We all make mistakes, but learning to ask for forgiveness can help restore relationships. It is important not to put off such conversations, but to be able to immediately talk and admit if you have made a mistake.
Over time, to build a happy relationship, it is important for a woman to be able to build a constructive dialogue with her husband. A person may misunderstand, and if misunderstandings are discussed immediately, unnecessary grievances will not accumulate.
Do you laugh together
You need to laugh not at people, but at situations. When you can look at life situations together with ease and laugh at them, then the family will be happy.
You may want to find something to do together that will bring positive emotions to both parties.
What do you need to learn to do to try to maintain happiness and ease in your family life?
First you need to understand that you will have to work on a good relationship. It won't always be easy, but knowing that you are investing in your continued happiness in your family life will help.
Don't rely on the perfect picture on the Internet
Instagram is teeming with “perfect” family photos, with huge posts underneath about how happily they live. Only after some time (and a short one) do betrayals, dirt, and divorce creep out. And the picture of a happy life is destroyed at lightning speed. It becomes easier to live when you understand that we are shown only the good side (and not always the truthful one).
Work on yourself
Strong family relationships require effort. Work, first of all, must be done on yourself. When your partner notices that you are trying for the sake of the relationship, she will certainly have the same desire. This way you will improve together for a common goal.
Know how to compromise
Many families break up simply because the couple cannot give in and compromise. It can really be difficult to accept someone’s point of view if you are confident in your own. But for a happy relationship, such stubbornness will not lead to anything good.
Respect and trust
A family without a trusting relationship will quickly go down. Constant suspicions, phone checks, and surveillance will drive both partners crazy. Such unhealthy behavior will only give rise to quarrels and misunderstandings. If you recognize yourself in the sentence described above, return to the second point. Your mistrust is your lack of self-confidence. It’s not your partner who should be blamed for smiling suspiciously at his colleague, but yourself, because you won’t show respect to yourself or your partner by doing this.
Be interested in your partner's life
With ordinary questions like: “How was your day?”, “What new happened at work”, you will develop the habit of communication.
Quarrels happen to everyone
Again, remember that ideal families do not exist. Quarrels help us hear each other better and pay attention to what is really important to us. It is wrong to try to avoid quarrels, but the right thing is to resolve them through dialogue.
Love for real
It will be easier than ever if you try a little at the beginning of the journey.
Enemies of family relationships
Many things interfere with a woman’s family happiness. The enemies of family happiness are not only people. We ourselves prevent our family from becoming that warm and cozy place to which we want to return.
So, the 5 most common enemies of family happiness according to psychologists:
- You expect your spouse to read your mind and do as you want. But not a single person has learned this yet. Exit - Voice your expectations, talk about what is painful.
- The wife treats her husband conscientiously. A man doesn't like to be used. He also wants love and respect just like you. Solution - Don't take your husband for granted. Give thanks for what he did for you and for the family.
- A woman manipulates sex - encourages, motivates, refuses sex if... her husband does what she demands of him. Men are sensitive in this matter. If his wife does not give him sexual satisfaction, then he will find one who will. Solution - Do not deny a man intimacy, be intimate with him as often as required.
- Ignoring the problem distances it. You become like strangers to each other. The solution is to try to solve the problem. This brings you closer together and you will become a little closer to each other.
- Everyday life - don’t let everyday problems kill your relationship. Way out - arrange holidays for yourself, with or without a reason. The holiday helps a woman and her man take a break from problems, change focus and understand that life is still worth living.
Where does a happy family life go over time?
At the beginning of family life, we are so in love that we unintentionally put on masks. We try to show only our good sides, because we want to be liked. It's like a game of "white and fluffy", where we strive to appear better than we really are.
The wife is never too lazy to wash the dishes, prepare the first, second and third course and clean up every day, and the husband only enjoys going shopping with his wife for three hours, discussing gossip about her friends and all that. But someday, what we really are will be revealed anyway, and then problems will begin in family life. Therefore, in order for a happy marriage not to run away from you, you need to make an effort, listen and hear each other, and try to support.
How to change everything right now - some tips from psychologists
Family happiness is work. And if a woman is not satisfied with everything in a relationship, then a lot can be changed right now. To do this, do the following:
✔ Make a spontaneous decision that your spouse does not expect. The goal is not to shock, but to pleasantly surprise your loved one.
✔ A week without criticism with politeness and care. Consciously give yourself a directive - not to criticize or make comments to your loved one for a week. Instead, say nice words and make your partner happy. Give a nice gift.
✔ Try to imagine that today is the last day you live. There will be no chance to fix the situation, ask for forgiveness or start over tomorrow. Exists only today. How would your behavior change?
These are the effective secrets that will help a woman keep her family happy. A single recipe for family happiness has not yet been invented. What is important is the desire of both partners to live together and happily. Well, the desire to work so that the husband/wife and children are happy.
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Myths about the conditions for a happy family life
1. You must have common interests. No, it's a myth. A girl may like to spend her evenings reading books, and you may like to spend her evenings playing computer games. And there is nothing abnormal about this. Another question is that you can offer her to sometimes play games together or offer to watch a movie based on the book that the girl read in order to discuss it later.
2. A man is a breadwinner, a woman is a keeper of the hearth. The world is moving forward, and many people with their stereotypical thinking seem to still be dragging themselves in the Stone Age. You just have to assume that you can go beyond the boundaries that limit your consciousness, and life will become easier. We must strive to listen to each other - if a man is comfortable running a household and a woman reaches new heights in her career, there is nothing wrong.
3. There cannot be a happy family without children. In the traditional sense, the main purpose of the family is raising children. There is a myth that a marriage cannot be happy without children. But if spouses have no desire to raise children, can’t they be happy?
Topics: family
Why do we need a family?
How many people do you know who are firmly convinced that they feel great being single? I think no. Most of us strive to start a family. For different reasons. For some, loneliness is torment, others want status. Still others find it easier to cope with life’s difficulties as a couple. And of course love. This feeling unites a variety of people, without recognizing the level of education, class, or age difference.
It's no secret that women want to start a family much more than representatives of the stronger half of humanity. Do you know why? All girls have been playing with dolls since childhood. At three to five years of age, a child is already programmed by society to create a family. A girl should have a doll, a doll should have a house - this is the prototype of a life attitude.
Imagine if you were told from birth that you had to dig. Your toys are shovels, pictures in books and the books themselves about shovels and how great it is to dig. Cartoons would also be about heroic diggers. Having overcome the age of self-awareness in society, that is, adolescence and the Protestant sentiments inherent in it, you would become a digger. You would strive for this subconsciously.
And if, for some reason, the transition to digging was postponed, then all your already digging friends and relatives would certainly ask when they met: “Well, when will you start digging? Look, the years fly by, you’ll get old and won’t be able to dig anymore, even if you want to.” Such questions would irritate you. Because you already know that it’s time and that you need to... start digging.
But this is a more mechanical arrangement. Not everything in our lives can be explained from the point of view of the laws of nature, psychology, or even physics.
Spouses know how to negotiate and forgive
When you look at a photo of a happy family, you have no idea what problems lie behind the scenes. However, they are always there. For example, if two people live under the same roof and do not want to give in to each other in anything, they can hardly be called happy. Therefore, always learn to seek compromises.
It is also important not only to agree, but also to be able to forgive each other. There are always conflicts in the family, but they do not have to end in scandals. If you hurt a loved one, apologize sincerely. And forgive your partner’s small mistakes. There is no point in being offended for six months if you do not want a divorce.
Photo: pexels.com: UGC
