Experts in relationships between men and women have noticed something interesting: many girls who cannot get married do not understand that male and female love have many differences.
Psychologists say that this is precisely the reason for an unsuccessful personal life. Such girls need to figure out what stages of love exist for men so that painful breakups and heartfelt disappointments stop bothering them. From this article you will learn:
- What are the different stages of love in men?
- How does a woman's love differ from the stages of love in men?
- Why men are afraid during the stages of love
The first stage is severe hunger
This stage is often called falling in love, passion, the candy-bouquet period. This is a very bright, cheerful, eventful period, which is remembered later with such ecstasy, and sometimes with undisguised sadness. There are a lot of emotions in it, bright and hot; life is seething and in full swing: you are more active than ever, and it’s as if you don’t need sleep, rest, food at all... If only there was one dear one nearby.
All meetings and calls are long-awaited; in each other's company the world seems better; The time spent together is always short, no matter how long the date actually lasts. The image of your beloved always pleases your imagination, pleasantly exciting your heart. I want to touch him, hug and kiss him, and for him to always be there...
At this time, the guy can do crazy things, court him gallantly, talk tirelessly, want to be next to you all the time, and no matter where. And a girl, in turn, can stand in front of the mirror for several hours before a date with her beloved, she becomes prettier and kinder, her voice changes, becomes even softer and more tender. Lovers show their best qualities, they strive to appear in the most favorable light, and they really both behave in an exemplary manner. Note that it was at this stage that poets and artists (and other creators) composed works of art for their lovers.
The second stage is saturation
Inevitably, a moment of satiety comes in a relationship: you have enjoyed each other’s company and managed to get used to it. At this stage, you can already go somewhere separately (on a visit, to a store, to exhibitions, anywhere); The time spent together no longer flies as quickly as in the first stage of the relationship. You are interested in your loved one, but the feeling of trepidation before each meeting and the burning desire to be close every minute is gone.
This stage is also called the stage of equal relationships. Everything is going smoothly, quietly, peacefully. You feel good together, calm and comfortable. You are interested in each other’s company, but you no longer have the former feeling of “hunger” for your loved one. In a word, you still like each other, but you have already gotten used to the charm of your lover.
Let's say, if your loved one told you a funny joke at the first stage, you would sincerely burst out laughing for several minutes, and then praise his unique sense of humor. And at the second stage - saturation, you would honor your loved one with a smile and say “Well done, really funny!” The difference is noticeable, isn't it?
The third stage is the stage of disgust
We arrived before the most dangerous period for any relationship - the stage of disgust. This is the most crisis and dangerous period, which destroyed a huge number of happy and harmonious, but weak unions. Most often, this period occurs within the notorious three years from the date of the relationship. Sometimes it can happen earlier, by the end of the first year of the relationship. And sometimes the first stages can take longer, and the stage of disgust will come in the seventh year of the relationship, but this happens quite rarely. I would like to note that by this stage the lovers have most likely already managed to formalize the relationship and become spouses.
Most lovers, at the beginning of a relationship, naively believe that they will never have such quarrels and squabbles as their friends who are at this painful stage. But remember that this stage, sooner or later, will come anyway and will need to be overcome through joint efforts. It’s a pity that a huge number of couples break up on it, never realizing that it is temporary. How long it will last depends on the temperament and wisdom of the lovers.
During this period, everything about a previously loved one can irritate: the way he eats, the way he walks, the way he laughs, the way he twists a tube of toothpaste. Even what you previously liked about him can now cause terrible hostility and disgust. And if he does something really bad, for example, swears, screams, is lazy, throws clothes around, etc., you may experience an attack of acute hostility, bordering on hatred. It seems that everything he does, he does out of spite, specifically to unbalance, annoy and annoy.
Those who find themselves at this stage believe that they made a mistake about the person, that he pretended to be someone else. Often, they decide to break up, because shared happiness and pleasure have suddenly become insufficient, it is simply not enough for a normal life together. But there are more quarrels, scandals and reproaches than ever before. Being at this stage in a relationship, a person thinks that love has passed without a trace. But what a misconception this is...
Detail No. 2: partner donates
When something upsets you, your partner feels it and makes concessions: refuses to meet with friends, agrees to an unloved movie, takes on household responsibilities that are not his own. This may be a concession in a quarrel, conflict, or just everyday life, but it is a small sacrifice - a small renunciation of selfishness.
Tablet No. 2: test your feelings using the example of a big sacrifice
Yes, it is partly cruel to put your partner in a position where he will have to sacrifice and give up something more than a dirty plate or a place as the winner in an argument. But if relationships are at stake, then all means are fair in war. Only after seeing what concessions another person can make for you (who essentially, like all of us, lives only for himself), will you understand how deep your feelings are.
The fourth stage is the stage of patience and forgiveness
This stage begins after one of the spouses has realized that it is still possible to somehow measure up to the shortcomings of the once loved one. Usually this person in a couple turns out to be smarter, wiser, or simply mature.
Gradually, patiently enduring the shortcomings of your spouse, you come to the understanding that it is better to start with yourself. The kinder and more gentle you behave, the more he, in principle, responds.
At this stage, deep work with your own egoism occurs when you reconsider the concept of love, marriage and relationships. You sincerely begin to notice a person, his needs and requirements, you get to know him anew and, for the first time, the real one. There is no longer a trail of love in a relationship, but there is an understanding of one’s responsibility to a person (a sense of duty; responsibility to children; decency and traditional ideals of fidelity and devotion).
At this stage, there is a calm acceptance of a real person with his features, character and tastes. There are no special pleasures yet, but anxiety and irritation have become significantly less. You no longer start with a half-turn.
It is during this period that the understanding comes that a loved one does not have to be my copy, that he is a separate and unique person, with his own needs and desires. At this stage, couples rarely separate, as the relationship is slowly moving towards a real feeling - love.
Love
It is worth noting that separation often occurs due to active work on the relationship by only one partner. The other at this moment decides that there is no need to analyze his own actions and change, and the reason for the disagreement is the discrepancy between the chosen one and his chosen one with his emotional prejudices. Conflicts and quarrels become almost a daily ritual, driving relationships into a dead end.
Therefore, it is important that two people work on the relationship and listen to each other. Constant dialogue makes it possible to optimally protect a couple from often meaningless conflicts and allows partners to focus on important things.
Love is not the means by which we can give meaning and joy to our lives. Like an energy object, it is capable of developing and growing, giving us a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in life. And the more a couple cherishes their love and works on their relationship, the more joy and happiness it will bring.
At all stages, with its help we can reveal our potential, aspiration, our positive and negative sides. Plus, thanks to love, we also accept the imperfections of our chosen ones.
The fifth stage is the stage of fulfilling duties
It is from this moment that true Love begins to emerge. When a person realizes his duty to his spouse. Having realized, even at the previous stage, the uniqueness of his soulmate, the presence of his own needs, interests and desires, he comes to the understanding that it is necessary to take care of him and fulfill his duties.
Every couple and family is unique. But in general terms, if we are talking about a woman, then she understands the importance of fulfilling women’s responsibilities to her husband in protecting the family hearth - caring for children, maintaining her own attractiveness, cooking, cleanliness in the house, etc. A man comes to understand how important it is to provide his family with everything necessary, to protect him from external problems and adversity, and so on.
If the relationship has stopped at one of the stages
Friendship between a man and a woman - how it differs from female friendship
Stoppages in the development of relationships occur for various reasons. “Sticking” can occur at any of the initial stages. This is due to the partner’s lack of psychological readiness for a more serious relationship.
The relationship has stopped
Sometimes a man and a woman have been dating for a long time, stay overnight with their partner, but the question of living together is not raised. As a rule, there are logical explanations for this:
- Housing issue. If both adults live with their parents, then moving in with him or her will embarrass close relatives. It is not always possible to rent or buy your own home due to financial problems.
- Many people are afraid of running a household on their own and are afraid of getting into debt.
- The need for personal space. If a person lived alone for a long time, he got used to his habits and his order. He is afraid that the usual foundation will be disrupted, that the territory will have to be divided.
The sixth stage is the stage of divine friendship
This is a reverent stage when warm, cozy heart-to-heart conversations come into the house. When it’s interesting to be together again, but not just greedily and passionately, but with great respect and devotion to the person. It’s much more valuable, knowing a person from cover to cover, respecting him and being interested in him, trusting him and being inspired. This wonderful stage: bright, kind, sincere, like in fairy tales. And the couple who finds themselves on it comes close to true love.
At this stage, people become family. Spouses turn into each other's most devoted and best friends. They are inseparable, cheerful and friendly. It’s nice to look at such families, you can admire them and take an example from them: they have already experienced so much (the stage of disgust), but they stayed together, they feel good next to each other. But this is not love yet.
Respect.
When people have gone through a number of tests together, get to know each other well, and have learned to accept their partners as they are, the fifth stage of the relationship begins.
It is characterized by a tight platonic attachment, the formation of a reserve of gratitude and trust. Partners easily share thoughts or feelings and understand each other’s needs.
What to do:
Now much less energy is spent on relationships. Having spiritual independence and respect for your partner, you can delve deeper into self-development. It is important to put the resources you have into action, avoiding despondency. It is advisable for everyone to have their own outlet.
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