Aggression of varying degrees of manifestation occurs to people every day. A person encounters it everywhere - at work, in the service sector, public transport, etc. In most cases, such excesses recede from memory, as do immediate unpleasant impressions. More serious cases are familial. Why does a husband beat his wife? The psychology and reasons for this phenomenon are varied; there is no clear answer to this question.
The notorious opinion “hits means he loves” no longer applies. This kind of attitude cannot be tolerated. Impunity for a person who shows aggression is an “incentive” to further intensify the abuse of a woman. There are no deep feelings in such relationships. Therefore, it is important to think about the advisability of their continuation.
Causal factors of male aggressive behavior
If a man hits a woman, psychology says: throw aside the ancient “wisdom” about high feelings and similar manifestations of them. The reasons for beating are varied, but none of them is associated with an expression of love. Neither problems at work, nor extreme fatigue, nor other situations justify aggressive behavior. These factors, as a rule, unite the family with a functioning connection. The husband shares his concerns, he is interested in his wife’s opinion about the problem that has arisen, and her support is important.
The causative factors of aggression are deeper. They require definition, decision. Often spouses cannot cope without specialized help. If the actions taken are not effective, the result of male aggression is the disintegration of the family. Despite the wife’s fears about starting a new, independent life, this outcome is optimal, because otherwise there is a high risk of the situation worsening. According to family statistics, domestic violence often leads to serious physical (and mental) health problems. Unfortunately, deaths are common.
Psychology points out the following factors as the reasons why a man hits a woman:
- Alcohol, drugs. These are the primary causes of aggression caused by changes in a person’s mental state. In the presence of such bad habits, violent behavior is a situation that requires an immediate response.
- "Echoes" of childhood. In this case, violence that occurred in the man’s childhood plays a role. If the father showed aggression towards the mother, the son may begin to perceive such behavior as natural. He demands worship, submission to himself - this principle was embedded in his psyche from an early age. An important factor in this regard is the mother’s obedience, which leads to impunity for the aggressor.
- Constant life troubles. The lack of results of efforts, the inability to achieve the desired heights can provoke the accumulation of deep resentment towards the world around us. Often negative feelings spill out on the person closest to you.
- Lack of response to violence. A woman who takes on outbursts of aggression without an appropriate response supports subsequent manifestations of it. Impunity gives rise to a feeling of superiority in the aggressor, and he again uses force.
- Dictatorship. If a man imagines family leadership as dictatorial behavior, he will assert his dominance through force.
- Provocative behavior on the part of a woman. In the question of why a man beats a woman, psychology also highlights this factor. Constant adultery, neglect of responsibilities towards children, home, inappropriate, immoral lifestyle, alcohol, drug addiction... These are just some of the reasons that cause aggression on the part of the husband.
- Self-affirmation. This factor is typical for weak men who want to show their strength. Since he cannot demonstrate it in front of a strong opponent, the only option left is a weaker opponent in the person of his wife.
- Mental disorder. Answering the question why a man raises his hand against a woman, psychology indicates that he has a mental illness. Since men are less likely than women to seek specialized help, the disorder may remain undiagnosed for a long time, becoming a cause of assault.
- Difficult life period. Along with a closed character, this factor also manifests itself in the form of aggression. A long-term accumulation of anger and embitterment either becomes the cause of a mental disorder or spills over onto a loved one.
If a man raises his hand against a woman, psychology identifies many other causal factors that can lead to similar situations. They also include hormonal imbalances, fears of loss of authority, etc. Often only a specialist can determine the cause, so it is important to contact him after the first incident of domestic violence.
The adult lightly hit the child. What does this threaten him with?
Hello,
I don’t think that your husband can be prosecuted in this case.
I’ll start with the fact that acts qualified as beatings (Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation) and intentional infliction of minor harm to health (Article 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation) are considered criminal cases of private prosecution, initiated only at the request of the victim, his legal representative.
so in such cases, law enforcement agencies do not initiate criminal cases and do not conduct a preliminary (pre-trial) investigation.
You indicated that we are talking about one “slap on the head” and that there were no traces left, and the statement was submitted to law enforcement authorities 10 days after the incident. You also didn’t say a word about whether an emergency medical examination was carried out, whether any beatings and bruises were recorded, if not, then the applicant has no evidence, except for the testimony of minor witnesses whom you suspect of causing damage to your property (i.e. in this case, it can be argued that they cannot be objective, because they have personal hostility towards your husband).
Because if the child’s mother does not have any evidence, she can be held liable for libel.
Currently, libel is a criminal offense, liability for which is provided for in Article 128.1 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation (https://www.consultant.ru/popular/ukrf/10_25.html).
You indicated that the minor insulted your spouse.
Tell me, have you contacted law enforcement agencies with an application to bring the minor to administrative liability under Art. 5.61 Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation?
Article 5.61. Insult
Insult, that is, humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person, expressed in an indecent form, entails the imposition of an administrative fine on citizens in the amount of one thousand to three thousand rubles; for officials - from ten thousand to thirty thousand rubles; for legal entities - from fifty thousand to one hundred thousand rubles.
I would like to draw your attention to the fact that when insulted, humiliation of honor and dignity is expressed in a negative assessment of the victim’s personality, which undermines his prestige in the eyes of others and damages self-respect. Insult as a crime must be expressed in an indecent, i.e., cynical form, deeply contrary to the rules of behavior accepted in society. Insult is the infliction of insult, which can be expressed verbally, for example, in the form of curses or obscene nicknames; in writing in the form of notes or letters of indecent content; in the form of body movements - slaps in the face, spitting in the face, etc. actions.
When insulting, the motive is expressed in the manifestation of hostility towards the person whose honor and dignity is humiliated; the object of attack when insulting is honor and dignity.
Find solutions to similar problems:
Slander https://taktaktak.org/problem/157
The police refused to initiate a criminal case https://taktaktak.org/problem/13955
Possibility of solving the problem
What to do if a husband beats his wife? The advice of psychologists is unanimous: do not tolerate it! Assault on the part of a man can lead to a violation of a woman’s personality and loss of self-esteem. In this case, you will not need a consultation with a psychologist, but long-term treatment. But even after proper therapy, a number of women fail to restore their previous attitude to life.
Does your husband beat you? The advice of psychologists says: leave. At least temporarily. Go to a quiet place. A calm environment will promote calm and help you understand whether it is advisable to continue the relationship with the aggressor. Rarely does a domestic tyrant change his behavior and refuse to use force against his wife. Despite the apparent calm, a breakdown can be triggered by a minor stimulus. In addition, it is important to take into account the risk of revenge, punishment from the “offended” despot.
The psychologist's advice on what to do if a husband hits his wife and does not repent for his behavior is as follows: develop an action plan. It is important to choose an appropriate strategy that is convenient for solving the problem unilaterally (don’t think about your spouse’s “deep feelings” - he doesn’t have them):
- Contact a psychologist. It will help restore the ability to enjoy life and find ways out of the current situation.
- If you need to meet with your oppressive spouse, hold it in a public place, accompanied by a third party (relative, friend, etc.).
- In the event of a divorce, consult with a qualified family law attorney and have him or her review the documents.
- Don't forget about the children. The child's psyche reacts sensitively to parental divorce. You shouldn’t explain to a small child the true reasons for the separation (you could say that the father went on a long business trip).
- Let go of shame. If a husband beats his wife, psychology recommends trusting relatives and friends. Do not refuse support of any kind - neither psychological nor material.
- Go to court. Often women refuse to retaliate against a despot because of the risk of condemnation from others. But punishment for beatings is not only a legal measure. It will help the offended wife regain her self-confidence.
- Don't pay attention to ill-wishers. Gossip is not a reason to tolerate aggressive behavior towards yourself.
The psychologist's advice, if the husband raised his hand against his wife, is as follows: remember that if he leaves, the aggressive spouse will take revenge and try to punish the manifestation of disobedience. Avoid being alone with him: the presence of third parties is a guarantee of safety.
Why do men beat women?
There are different cases, but violence cannot definitely be called male behavior. This is forgivable for a caveman, and not for a reasonable person living in the twenty-first century.
Self-affirmation . Mocking his wife is the only way for a weak man to strengthen his authority.
He makes the most of the bonus from nature - his strength. Even a reed boy, who weighs little more than a woman, can cause serious injuries in a state of passion.
Let's imagine a situation: a man is in a bad mood, he is like gunpowder: strike a match and he will explode.
Now the question is: how will a normal man relieve tension? He’ll go to the gym, get involved in a heated argument at work, vent to his friends, but he certainly won’t make the woman the culprit of all the troubles.
But for a weak individual, physical aggression is an opportunity to prove his power and superiority over his wife.
Sometimes the situation is different: for example, a woman received a promotion at work. Should we be happy? But no: the man is offended that his wife is the head of the department, and he is an ordinary office plankton.
The stars do not tell you to get up from the couch and work harder, so all that remains is to throw out your indignation at life with your fists.
This has happened before . Only with another woman - a mother. Surely the child got it too. As a result, he formed an idea of a family model in which the husband beat his wife - and nothing happened.
Mom didn’t fight back, didn’t leave the house, didn’t call the police. She simply took this attitude for granted.
Such cases are the most difficult for psychologists to work with, because the basic attitudes received in childhood are difficult to change.
The man (then a small boy) regularly saw how his tipsy father “rewarded” his life partner with spanks and slaps in the face.
You don’t need a special reason for assault: you over-salted the cutlets, didn’t iron your shirt, didn’t recognize in time that your husband was in a bad mood, and didn’t withdraw yourself.
Drunk. Alcohol and drugs disrupt all social settings and can turn an adequate person into a real monster!
The next morning the man greatly repents, swears his love, and begs for forgiveness. But next time everything happens according to the same scenario.
Jealousy . There is no faith in a person who today swears love and tomorrow hits the object of his adoration on the head.
This is a huge complex, damaged pride, a desire for dominance and total control... Anything, but not love. The psychologist's advice is very simple: such relationships need to be broken off.
Psychical deviations . Sadistic tendencies are manifested by a constant need to punish someone.
The domestic tyrant enjoys beatings and humiliation. He doesn't even need a formal reason for physical violence. The sadist does not consider himself to blame: it was the woman who forced him to take extreme measures.
She asked for it herself . Jokes, reproaches, mockery, reminders of worthlessness have an effect on the stronger sex, like a red rag on a bull.
Sometimes representatives of the fair half of humanity deliberately demonstrate their superiority. They behave as if a man is obliged to fulfill all their whims.
If a man hits a woman, psychology interprets this unambiguously: this act is abnormal and cannot be left unpunished.
Let him break walls, break dishes or run until he sweats in the gym.
Is it possible to correct the situation?
Often women try to save their marriage and guide their husband on the “righteous” path, despite the aggression. This desire is due to the fear of loneliness. But is it advisable? Will it help fix the situation? It is impossible to answer these questions on your own. It is recommended to seek help from a psychologist. In addition to helping directly in solving the problem that has arisen, he will advise (if you want to save the relationship) ways to suppress oppressive manifestations on the part of your spouse.
What to do? Leave? Forgive? If a husband raises his hand against his wife, the advice of a psychologist and his help in obtaining answers to these questions is extremely important. For couples to maintain their marriage and emotional connection, it is important to understand the need for mutual change.
If a man raised his hand to a woman, psychology recommends that she realize the importance of her own behavior in this situation, accepting the difficulties that accompany getting out of the problem. If the husband wants to change, he will need support. It lies in the spouse’s ability to listen and hear, advise, and prevent conflicts. These are the basics of the right path in your endeavors. It is important that the man understands that, regardless of the problems that arise, the troubles of life, the wife will be there.
Despite behavioral mistakes that are not related to aggression, avoid critical remarks. Leave past misdeeds in the past, do not remember them. Praise, compliment, encourage. This should be the basis of marital communication.
Recommendations for a husband who resorts to assault are as follows: find a way to splash out excess energy, direct it in a positive direction. If a man beats a woman, psychology offers 2 options for solving the problem.
The first method is the verbal manifestation of thoughts. Using force is not the only way to express emotions. Get out of the habit of it. Do not prove your opinion or rightness by force, use verbal persuasion. Constant “training” of verbal communication will make it a habit, eliminating the need for assault.
The second way is to release energy through physical activity. In this case, sports activities are recommended, for example:
- football;
- struggle;
- boxing.
For less fit men, a regular long run will do.
Taking out negative emotions on an imaginary opponent in the form of a punching bag will lead to peace of mind for the husband and security for the wife. The need to prove one’s strength and leadership through assault will recede.
