A girl’s soft character: pros and cons

Author: Oleg Maltsev

Many people believe that today it is not fashionable to have a soft character. Life is such that “amoebas” have no place in it. At the same time, the personal life of such representatives is often better than that of women who claim gender equality. In order to figure it out, you need to study all the pros and cons of a girl’s soft character.

Disadvantages of a woman's flexible character

“Soft-tempered” women have a number of disadvantages that may well complicate their lives:

• Such individuals are extremely vulnerable. Any caustic remark or comment addressed to a girl can become extremely offensive to her;
• Bitterness can arise as a result of frequent grievances. Since they are not able to defend themselves with strong words or similar behavior, most often they withdraw into themselves and hide grievances so deeply that it is then very difficult to free themselves from them;
• Against the background of strong suspiciousness and resentment, they lose faith in themselves and human kindness, and may become depressed;
• Often such people can be influenced by people who are stronger in character. Such influence may not always be negative, however, quite often weak-willed girls are used for their own purposes or taken along a dangerous path;
• The timidity of women does not allow them to fully show what they are capable of. This applies to both creative and mental potential;
• It is difficult to establish themselves and establish themselves in a team, but still, thanks to quiet and painstaking work, they can. But it is unlikely that such women will ever become bosses. As a rule, they are not promoted up the career ladder, preferring to assign sometimes very heavy responsibility for one difficult area of ​​​​work, which others who are impulsive and not so smart and diligent simply cannot cope with.

Obviously, having an easy-going character may not be very comfortable for its owner. However, education and wisdom will help you position yourself in the right way both in the team and in the family.

Softness Soft

Gentleness as a personality quality is the ability to feel people’s needs, not be angry with anyone, and experience peace even in difficult situations.

A wanderer was walking along a narrow road in northern Spain and saw a peasant lying in a garden. “You’re crumpling flowers,” a passer-by remarked to him. “Not at all,” he answered. “I’m trying to gain tenderness and softness from them.”

Mechanical times beget mechanical hearts. Many spiritual traditions predicted this, poets wrote about it: “Someone offended the weak and laughs, someone turned out to be a coward and whines, but the nylon heart does not bubble, and the nylon heart does not hurt. No, guys, it’s definitely not for us to live without seeing or hearing anything, even if there is a heart made of nylon - we will teach him to worry.” But, speaking metaphorically, “there are still women in Russian villages” who have a soft heart beating, unable to “live without seeing or hearing anything.” A soft heart is responsive to people, it sincerely empathizes with their feelings, and is alien to condemnation and accusations. Everything that is vulnerable causes a response of gentleness - sympathy, support, approval, tenderness, caring and affection.

Gentleness makes strength more generous, subtle, kinder, and helps weaknesses strengthen their inner strength, self-confidence, and gives peace of mind in thoughts and actions. N. Shelgunov writes: “Courage usually goes along with gentleness of character, and a courageous person is more capable of generosity than others.” One can envy a gentle person - he has experienced and continues to feel the unforgettable taste of happiness that appears through selfless activity, the desire to help people, guided only by the voice of the heart.

Once at my friend's house, people got stuck in the elevator. It was Saturday evening. The problem was that kids from a neighboring boarding school started visiting them on the ninth floor - it was warm in the entrance, you could smoke and chat with the girls. It is clear that such “guests” were not liked by the residents, especially those living on the ninth floor. And so, by chance, they found themselves in an elevator trap. As luck would have it, their phone died, they couldn’t call the emergency service, and no one answers the emergency button. Frightened by the prospect of sitting in the elevator until Monday, the elevator “hostages” began knocking, screaming, and in short calling for help. A friend walked up to the elevator door and said gloatingly: “Gotcha.” Amazing. Sit for a couple of days, and on Monday morning, around seventeen o’clock, “the shackles will fall, and freedom will greet you joyfully at the entrance.” Freedom will be in police uniform." The wife remained silent, but it was felt that she was uncomfortable and uncomfortable. Meanwhile, the friend continued to mock the prisoners: “My neighbors and I consulted, and the thought came to us: “Why let you out on Monday? We are warm, hospitable people. Live to your heart's content. For the sake of a good cause, we walk. We will serve you water through a straw. We are not greedy. But with food it’s more difficult. You’ll have to fast for a couple of weeks, but you’ll cleanse your body and lose weight.” An hour later, my wife couldn’t stand it: “I feel sorry for them. We need to call for help, otherwise it won’t be for them, but for me.” The friend remained silent, but it was clear that sympathy had awakened in him. The wife got dressed and went to the next street to the house where the emergency service was located. When the elevator doors opened, everyone was amazed - an elegantly dressed young man came out of the elevator with a bouquet of flowers. He mixed up the entrances to the house. There was no end to the gratitude. My friend's wife was happy. This is the taste of happiness of a soft heart.

Gentleness frees a person from rudeness, straightforwardness, embitterment and bitterness. Softness, both on the physical and subtle planes, is the opposite of hardness. With a soft voice and soft gestures, she skillfully builds relationships in the family, smoothing out conflicts and subtly avoiding “sharp corners.” Gentleness follows the laws of a happy life. One of them is the “law of fifteen minutes.” Every woman should know him. It’s easier for a soft woman - she feels it with her heart. What does it consist of?

Most men go early in the morning to prove to society that it owes him money. The outside world is in no hurry to shell out money, so the whole day passes in tension. By evening it is already like a spent lemon, from which the strongest person in the world, except perhaps the tax inspector, cannot squeeze a drop. A few hours before returning home, a person has a desire to swallow something and just lie down somewhere, lie down for a while. His wife meets him in this state. He smells pleasant smells coming from the kitchen and sees the coveted sofa. The tension reaches its maximum level. He went to this through all the obstacles of the day. It would seem that the goal is close, but a new obstacle arises - his beloved wife, who says: “Don’t rush into the reeds. Let's talk first." And off we go: “Why? How? Where? When? Why? Where? When?". A man who has shown self-control and restraint all day, controlling his words and actions, relaxes at home, but when he sees a new obstacle in the face of his wife, he flares up and breaks down in a rude cry. “Don’t yell at me,” the wife shouts, “Yell at your subordinates.” In a word, a scandal begins and the evening is ruined.

The beloved wife, without showing gentleness, turned into an irritant, into an enemy, into the last barrier before the realization of natural desire. The law of “fifteen minutes” says: when someone comes home from work tired and hungry, it is forbidden to talk about anything. First, feed him and lay him down on something flat. In folk tales this law is constantly voiced: give them something to drink, feed and put to bed, and then ask. When a person has eaten and lies down comfortably, he will be happy to answer all questions. You won't be able to stop it yet. Gentleness always emphasizes an attentive attitude to the needs of another person, his intentions and desires; it touches people and inspires them with its respect. Gentleness of heart is the desire for everyone to feel good.

Gentleness understands that interpersonal relationships are made up of rituals and puts heart into them. People often get divorced due to not knowing how to behave when meeting and when parting. These moments are extremely important for a relationship. Gentleness invests in them love, tenderness, affection, sincerity, kinship, goodwill, in a word, a lot of positive feelings and emotions. When parting, two rigidities say: “Well, I drove” - “Well, drive” - “Well, I went” - “Well, get out” - “Well, I came” - “Well, since you’ve already come, come in” . Rigidity does not make you feel needed and important for another person. Only softness gives a person the feeling that another person is not comfortable without him. As in the song, softness gives invisible signals: “Without you, everything became unnecessary without you, from sunset to dawn without you, how I need you, my beloved.”

Amelia from Vanity Fair provides an excellent illustration of the benefits of gentleness: “People in Amelia’s small circle of acquaintances were irritated by the enthusiastic reaction to her from members of the opposite sex. Almost all young people, seeing her, fell in love, although, undoubtedly, they could not explain why this happened. She wasn't bright or witty, wasn't very wise or particularly attractive. But wherever she appeared, she impressed and charmed every man as constantly as she constantly aroused disdain and a sense of skepticism in her rivals. I think that she fascinated her mainly with her “weakness,” a certain “readiness to submit” and “gentleness,” which touched in the men she met along the way their desire to protect the weak.”

Petr Kovalev Other articles by the author: https://www.podskazki.info/karta-statej/

How to determine a girl's soft character?

The best way to tell about the temperament of their owner is:

1. Her behavior in various situations;
2. Reaction to others;
3. Attitude to life;
4. Actions.

However, if the opportunity to communicate so closely has not yet presented itself, then this can be done using the following visual signs:

• As a rule, flexible, soft and romantic natures are born in the spring;
• Such individuals most often have a rounded face shape;
• Such girls have beautiful, rounded handwriting;
• Women of this type prefer dresses, skirts, and feminine outfits in delicate colors;
• They love discreet, but at the same time beautiful and sophisticated makeup.

Often, softness of character is considered weak-willed, and many girls try to hide it behind masks of more decisive actions. However, in the modern world, women in the struggle for gender equality have lost those qualities that are characteristic of them. Therefore, a gentle character is a golden find for the opposite sex in the desire to start a family, give birth and raise healthy offspring.

Very important features of such representatives are:

1. Meekness;
2. Wisdom;
3. Tenderness;
4. Love of life;
5. Cheerfulness.

Thus, having found such a girl, a man can have no doubt about a happy future.

A girl's gentle character: advantages

An easy-going girl has a number of advantages over other female representatives:

1. They do not show any claims to leadership in the family. The fact is that now the picture in which a woman leads the family is becoming more and more common. Such a substitution of social function is not characteristic of either a man or a woman. At the same time, both suffer. The girl wants to stop and be weak, and the husband becomes weak-willed due to restrictions in leadership. In a situation with a soft-tempered soul mate, the situation in the family develops psychologically correctly;
2. She supports and loves her husband. The girl finds interesting activities for herself, lives her own life, but is always able to support and encourage her husband, without giving him advice or pointing out his mistakes;
3. She focuses on her husband’s opinion and listens to him. Over time, the husband realizes that his wife is not his rival and he himself gives her part of the tasks that she manages. For example, raising children or renovating a house;
4. Such girls are great friends. They do not push themselves, often give good advice, are able to support, worry and rejoice for a loved one completely sincerely;
5. They rarely conflict. They themselves are never the instigators of quarrels, but if the problem has affected them in some way, they are more likely to distance themselves or completely leave the unpleasant situation.

Thus, there are many human advantages in a gentle character. It is important for such persons to develop their mind and inner world. Only a competent combination of such development will make you a truly valuable person. Otherwise, you risk becoming an uninteresting, boring and boring person.

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Monday, October 08, 2012 19:14 + to quote book

Animals often die from simple wounds because they bite the doctor’s hands, lick the stitches and tear off the applied bandages.
The same thing happens to people who begin to pick apart old grievances, instead of forgiving them and allowing them to be erased. © Joseph Emets What is softness of character?... Softness and hardness of character are opposite personality traits... Softness of character is determined by compliance, responsiveness, and lack of harshness. A person with such a character is receptive to other people's problems and is able to perceive the experiences of his interlocutor as his own. Outwardly, this personality trait manifests itself in delicacy and tact in communicating with others. Often, gentleness of character is determined by the characteristics of upbringing. Communication with a person with such a character is easy, pleasant, and relaxed. At the same time, you can always count on understanding and influence such a person. Strength of character can be defined as a manifestation of harshness, exactingness, steadfastness, and impatience with other people’s opinions. It is impossible to characterize gentleness as kindness or put an equal sign between these two concepts. Gentleness of character is an external manifestation of personality, while kindness is a characteristic of the inner world. A person’s character is a system of mental properties that are given to him from birth. Education and the environment are of great importance in the development of character. This determines what type of character will be developed in a particular person. I would refrain from making critical assessments of this or that type of character. Whether a person is harsh or soft does not matter. The main thing is kindness, generosity, the ability to show sympathy, and do good deeds. Morality and concern for the people around him and the world as a whole are important in a person. You learn the fastest in three cases - before the age of 7, during trainings and when life has driven you into a corner. 2 basic rules for understanding people... It is clear that no rules can fully define such a complex mechanism as human behavior. But despite this, most people tend to make the same mistakes. These mistakes are quite common and lead to conflicts. Knowing these rules will help you avoid such mistakes. RULE 1: Don't look for malice in something that can easily be explained by vanity. People don't care or think about you. This is not because they are low or harmful, but simply because they are mainly focused on themselves. Most of a person's thoughts and aspirations are directed towards himself. His goals. His problems. His feelings. Much less of his attention is directed towards relationships and how they affect him. What does my friend think of me? How did the boss evaluate my work? And people pay very little attention to sympathy. Sympathy is a rare case when one person experiences the emotions and problems of another person. Instead of asking myself what a friend thinks about me, I ask myself what a friend is thinking about. This small percentage of attention is distributed among many people they know. As a result, each of us occupies a value close to zero in the minds of other people. Even if you are in the thoughts of another person, this most likely concerns your relationship, but not you personally. What does this mean? — All sorts of embarrassment and embarrassment are meaningless. Since others focus very little of their thoughts on you, your self-esteem is much more important. - People who appear mean or harmful usually do not do so intentionally. Of course, there are exceptions, but more often than not, the hurt you receive from them is a side effect, but was not the main reason for their actions. — Relationships are something that needs to be maintained. Don't expect them to fold on their own. RULE 2: Social behavior is rarely obvious. Basically, this rule means that most of the intentions behind our actions are hidden. If a person feels depressed or angry, the resulting behavior usually distorts their true feelings. If I feel that you are treating me with disdain, I may restrain myself now but ignore you later. A person can say “wonderful” while experiencing the opposite feelings. Hence, in order to be effective, you need to not only hear the person, but also focus on how they feel. Show trust, build rapport, try to learn it little by little. By focusing on empathy, you are more likely to understand the other person and solve a potential problem. Another application of this rule is that more often than not, no one knows how you feel. So don't get angry when people don't understand you. Why is it worth being yourself and not changing... There are people who simply love so much, worry so much and give themselves to others to the last drop that they themselves have nothing left... I know what it’s like to be emotionally exhausted. When you try to explain it to others, nothing works. How to find the words for “I feel everything so deeply, I give so much that sometimes there is only emptiness inside?” It's like waking up in the morning tired because you couldn't sleep when at 3 am you were overcome by the familiar loneliness to which you had already become accustomed. And you watch as everyone around you wonders what you’re doing wrong. They wonder why you can't feel less. Wishing you would stop being so sensual. Envying those people who don’t worry about anyone but themselves, and you can’t even imagine how that feels. There are people who simply love so much, worry so much and give themselves to others to the last drop that they themselves have nothing left. There are people who give pieces of themselves so that others feel complete. There are some people who show unwavering strength when they help others, but cannot figure out how to help themselves. These are the same people who hide their tears that you don't know about. These are the same people who feel alone in a crowd. These are the same people who look at other lovers and wonder when this will happen to them too. I know that the more people trusted you, the less you trust others. You have learned to rely only on yourself. I know you're tired of trying so hard. Everyone thinks that this is natural for you, but it is not. Sometimes you think there is something wrong with you, why you love so much. But you don't know how to do it differently. People admire you, fearless, loving, caring, but they do not see how tired your eyes are, how exhausted your faith is, how enormous your loneliness has become. I want you to know that you are not like everyone else. I want you to know that I am proud of your strength. That one day it will all pay off and you will meet someone who will fill you the same way you fill others. Until then, keep trying. Continue to hold on to what little faith you still have. Keep being yourself and don't change. There is something in you that is very rare. Be yourself and one day your loneliness will meet someone who will look into your eyes and say: “Finally!” BUT…. Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are worthy people, but because you are a worthy person. I approached the counter with the thought that the employee, who was covered in mud from head to toe in front of my eyes, would look upset and offended. Nothing like this! He greeted me with the most polite “Good evening, sir!” and calmly began to arrange the room. Receiving the key, I could not resist and said: “I admire your endurance.” You have great control over yourself. “You see, sir,” came the reply, “I can’t be angry with people like him.” After all, he wasn’t yelling at me at all. I became just a scapegoat. The poor guy probably has problems with his wife or business problems. Or maybe he simply took advantage of the opportunity to compensate for his own inferiority complex and feel “on top of his game.” I gave him this opportunity. But at his core, he is probably a wonderful person, like most people. I walked down the corridor to the elevator and repeated out loud: “At his core, he is probably a wonderful person, like most people.” The next time someone declares war on you, remember these words and don't shoot back. In such a situation, the only way to become a winner is to let the attacker shoot all his ammunition, and then forget about what happened. David Schwartz “The Art of Thinking Big” Tags:
psychology

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How to become softer?

If suddenly a woman in the process of life realized that she was not playing her role, that in essence she had always been soft, but in certain circumstances it was necessary to take the initiative - it is never too late to turn the situation in the other direction.

You must do everything to make your loved one feel your gentleness. This will help him wake up and become a real man next to you.

To speed up the process:

1. Pay attention to your appearance. Stop wearing jeans and a stretched sweater in the morning. Put on something elegant and stylish and go ahead and conquer the peaks. Pay more attention to yourself, do your hair, discreet makeup, put on a delicate dress. Use flowing fabrics, ruffles and flounces;
2. Use jewelry. Various beads and bracelets will perfectly highlight your femininity;
3. Smile often and be calm. Your gestures should not be nervous;
4. When talking to others, you need to imagine a white, beautiful, delicate flower in the neck area. This will make your voice and speech rate extremely pleasant;
5. The gait should become soft and swaying. Choreography or plastic arts classes will help a lot;
6. Think positive thoughts, wish everyone well;
7. Learn to listen instead of expressing your point of view.

Thus, the key to gentleness is calmness . Everything in you should be calm , from thoughts to actions.

How to avoid becoming a victim?

In order to maintain self-esteem and respect in society, even with a naturally gentle character, you must be able to position yourself in the right way:

• Learn to refuse offers that you really don’t like;
• If necessary, do not be afraid to express your point of view when answering a question. It cannot be right or wrong. She is yours;
• There is no need to give up your own interests for the sake of others;
• Develop your inner world;
• Learn new skills;
• Share new experiences with others.

In this way, the pros and cons of a girl’s soft character will disappear, and you will simply become a happy person who is self-sufficient and at the same time capable of becoming support and support for your family.

Is a person with a strong character very different from a person with a soft character?

Of course, a lot! They are like two different pluses: plus and minus. Two completely different people. What distinguishes a person with a strong character from a person whose character is soft?

First of all, it is determination and confidence in your actions. If a person of strong character decides to do something for himself, he does it. He, unlike a “soft” person, will not hesitate for a long time in his decision. A “solid” person has strong convictions in what he is doing. For example, if this person decides to quit his job, he will write a statement and leave, and will not doubt whether he is doing it right or not. But a “soft” person may not only hesitate in decisions, but also, in the end, change his mind about quitting his job altogether.

Secondly, it is courage. A “solid” person is bold and courageous, he “jumps into the abyss” and experiences the unknown, the character of such a person is almost fearless. For example, if a young man decides to get married, even if his parents did not approve of his choice, he will still do it. Even if he understands that it will be very difficult, he will have to do everything himself, without the help of others: look for housing and a new job with a salary so that there is enough for everything. He knows that his parents will not help him. That there is simply an abyss and uncertainty ahead, great difficulties. But he will do it anyway. Because he firmly decided it. A “soft” person can listen to his parents, be afraid of difficulties and break his own destiny, depriving himself of personal happiness.

Thirdly, it is determination and perseverance. If a person with a strong character sets a goal for himself, he will go towards it without leaving the chosen path. He will not be upset that everything does not work out right away and that not everything is not going as smoothly as he would like. He will move towards his goal step by step. For example, if a “solid” person decides to learn a foreign language, he will improve his level to perfection. He will have enough willpower to study the subject, prepare for classes, learn rules and words. The “soft” one will take a couple of classes and quit. Because you will be lazy, you will get bored and it will all become uninteresting. It will remain so with knowledge of ten words.

As a rule, people with strong character are leaders who enjoy respect and authority from other people. These are good leaders, coaches, strategists. It will be more difficult for a “soft” person to take responsibility, because his soft character will strive more not to offend, offend, or criticize anyone, and this, you see, is difficult to avoid in a leadership position. “Soft” people are good performers.

The downside of a strong character is stubbornness. It is difficult to convince such a person, even if he is wrong. He will not agree with you, no matter how hard you try. A “soft” person will listen to you, understand that he is wrong, and listen to your opinion. Also, a disadvantage of a strong character is the inflexibility of its owner, which brings big problems in relationships with people around him. A “soft” person is easy-going and kind to people; even if you quarrel with him, he will quickly forget the insults and forgive you. A person with a soft character gets along better in society than a person with a strong character. He is non-conflict, friendly and easy to communicate.

Each character is good in its own way. However, it is worth saying that most often people have a mixture of “hard” character and “soft” character, and depending on the specific situation, each person manifests one or the other character. What kind of character you show is up to you to decide.