Treason is a very sore subject for many people, as it has taken place in their lives. Cheating with an ex is more painful, since the person who was cheated on already considers himself a part of the life of his loved one. And he, in turn, decides to return to the previous path of relationships. Or not to return, but simply to plunge once again into the memories of past years. And now the person is already asking the question “why do they cheat with their exes,” because I am better, smarter, kinder, richer. What is the reason then?
Cheating with your ex is like a time machine. It will allow you to plunge into hateful feelings and regain your former passion. The main thing is that it is not too painful or offensive in the morning. After all, the feeling of “you were used” goes along with betrayal.
Revenge
Whether it was a chance meeting or he saw a new photo on your profile - it doesn’t matter.
Any man wants the woman next to him to radiate happiness. This is a matter of pride, apart from everything else.
Worthy - does not focus on this. It is enough for him that you are happy and give him feedback.
But for a man who is insecure, every compliment addressed to his woman is a new coin in the piggy bank of his self-esteem. And so he meets you and sees that you are blooming and smelling WITHOUT HIM. Or even worse - with someone else. And the biggest disaster is his cooler status.
How to get rid of an obsessive guy?
It happens that a partner cannot decide. Every now and then he comes and goes, and when a woman tries to break up with him, he doesn’t seem to hear her, he seduces her again and conquers her. If you are already tired of such relationships, then it’s time to take the initiative into your own hands. How to get rid of an obsessive fan? Of course, you can talk to him in a friendly manner, explaining everything. However, men are often so “deaf” to women’s speech that they have to resort to other measures:
- Make scandals for him, stop being beautiful for his sake, become hysterical for any reason, become demanding, etc. In other words, become such that the man himself wants to leave you.
- Make up a story that you are getting married or have found a man who is more suitable to be her husband.
- Just break up with him and tell him not to look for you, since you are going far away for a long time.
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Good sex
On the one hand, even a compliment addressed to you. You may even think that you were his “best.” But on the other hand... yes, when he is in a new relationship, or has already gone through a couple of affairs after breaking up.
Many people want sex, but few enjoy it.
If he felt good with you, but then wasn’t impressed, he’ll come for more. And, most likely, he knows what you want, what you fantasize about.
Women's glossies for the most part claim that such nostalgic sex is not a crime at all. Even the norm.
And he gives a bunch of arguments: it’s convenient, safe, you can experiment, you can show initiative.
But let's be honest... You broke up because there was a reason. In a relationship between a man and a woman, one of the leading roles is also played by spiritual intimacy.
Yes. Maybe it's convenient. But no one promised you pleasure like then. People are changeable not only in their views, but also in their preferences.
And no one guarantees your safety. Only God knows who he slept with after you.
Something that you chose to forget can also fuel his interest. And this encourages some to prove that he can still do it like no other.
Think carefully before agreeing. He’ll play enough and quit, and then you’ll have to close the next gestalt.
How to tell if a man will return after a breakup
Divorce today is not uncommon; people break up quite often. There are many reasons for this, from banal everyday problems to betrayal.
Some women, after breaking up, try to forget about their past relationships and quickly arrange a new life, others fall into despondency and despair, and still others sit and wait for the man to come to his senses and return to the family.
But it’s worth talking about the first moment when a woman believes that in any case she will no longer contact her former loved one. Later, after some time, feelings calm down, and then regret comes, after which women wonder: do ex-husbands return to their wives?
75% of men return
As practice has shown, ex-husbands are indeed inclined to return to the family.
However, in such a situation, the woman has yet to find out how advisable this is.
Thoughts of men
Many male representatives often prefer to take a break in order to collect their thoughts, understand themselves, and understand a woman’s own desires and intentions.
They tend to analyze what happened, remember good moments with their beloved, regret some times, and feel nostalgic. As a result of this, most often there is a desire to renew the relationship.
After careful analysis, and sometimes even immediately, the man begins to make a plan to return his beloved.
Young guys are prone to sad feelings about the loss of their previous relationships and their girlfriend. There are times when confusion comes and questions arise about whether it is worth renewing previous connections. If during this time a woman has a new lover, jealousy kills feelings.
A feeling of resentment arises only in cases where the initiator of the breakup was a woman, or because of her betrayal.
Watch the video. How to get your ex back?
Reasons for separation
Initially, you should understand the reasons for such a categorical act of the second half.
Fortune telling - will your loved one return after breaking up?
Let's try to analyze:
- Emotions. Loss of passion and feelings leads to inevitable separation,
- Household background. One of the reasons for divorce is that a housewife puts everyday issues above attention to her loved one. But even if the house shines with cleanliness and decoration, few people will like this situation. Some men can afford to hire a maid, housekeeper, cook or other household staff, and a woman is chosen in order to spend time with her and pour out her soul,
- Complaints in communication. A person is not a robot, so even the most persistent man with nerves of iron, sooner or later, will not tolerate moral suppression. No one can stand complaints, especially men,
- Without a doubt, the parents of the beloved often become the cause of numerous conflicts, especially considering the fact that the woman does not protect her man,
- Ignoring. A fading passion can be somehow revived, but if you do not pay attention to this, a man may feel “out of place.”
Signs that he will return
After a breakup, a man tries to occupy himself in order to cope with negative thoughts about his ex-girlfriend. Most often, time is spent with old friends, new hobbies and acquaintances are developed, a person tries to immerse himself in work and sports.
Many men deceive themselves, try to prove that feelings for their ex have already disappeared and deny the desire to return. Most often, such men are looking for new sensations in sex, thereby trying to immerse themselves in a relationship and forget their beloved. Not everyone can do this.
There are also persistent men who immediately try to look for meetings with their ex-girlfriend; they tend to constantly call and send messages. There are often situations when a former lover tries to attract attention with gifts or flowers, even if he has not done this before or has done it extremely rarely. Such factors indicate the desire of the stronger sex to restore relationships.
In cases where jealousy occurs, a person may resort to threats or stalking.
If you have mutual friends or acquaintances, the young man can ask for their help in reviving the old relationship.
Signs that he won't return
The signs of the man’s return have been sorted out a little, but the facts indicate that the man will not return back?
The ex returns in cases where he realizes what he has lost, and this is a good option for a woman. However, not as widespread as I would like. But if the husband found solace in the arms of his rival, then he has no good reason to remember his past life.
It is worth paying special attention to men who break all ties and leave their family for a long time, and upon their return promise mountains of opportunities and happiness. Surprisingly, this often happens when a woman is already in a relationship and is even preparing to get married.
The reason for this is simple: a young man, noticing that his former beloved is improving his own life, while not everything is going smoothly for himself, is simply jealous. After all, this shouldn’t happen, after it she should put an end to any relationship. The result is that all the promises and courtships are created for only one purpose - to upset the new romance.
Having trusted such a person, a woman usually regrets what she did, because after accepting the man back, he does not stay long.
There are also situations when the ex-spouse does not call, cuts off all ties and disappears from sight. And suddenly, suddenly and unexpectedly, a phone call is heard, in which the man begins to reminisce and say how good they were together. Perhaps he really realized all the mistakes and is ready to correct himself, to return everything in the best possible way. But as practice shows, the likelihood of this is extremely low.
This may also indicate that he simply needs temporary shelter. A man may start calling all his ex-girlfriends in the hope that someone will shelter him for a while.
If he has another
In the case when a man is in the company of another lady and he is going to return, this indicates a desire to escape from his new mistress. The explanation is simple: when you see a girl on the sly, it’s exciting and gives you a dose of adrenaline and new impressions.
However, when you live in the same house, it’s completely different. A person is best known in the everyday sphere. At a certain point, it turns out that the sweet stranger has become part of everyday life, and the man’s ex-lover is much more valuable.
Reasons for returning
There are several reasons for a man to return to his family. Since personality psychology is customized individually, it is necessary to sort everything out. The role of the chosen one in a man’s life is quite large, which is why, due to a feeling of discomfort, they most often return.
Truth is known through comparison. So, having lived and realized that the ex-wife was better in all respects than the new chosen one, many decide to return.
It can be quite difficult for strong representatives of humanity to immediately understand that their previous life was better than now, the same applies to feelings. If the man admits that they were strong enough, the relationship can resume.
These were the main types of reasons, judging by which we can say that the man will probably return. But psychology is a fairly serious and unexplored science. Therefore, we can assume that it will not be possible to resume the previous relationship so easily, because there are just as many reasons for leaving the family as there are personal interests and outlook on life. However, by examining the possible reasons for the return, you can find certain clues.
Watch the video. What to do if you break up? First steps.
He's lonely
If you compare movies and life, the latter often wins in terms of storyline.
Maybe he's bald (of course, not as cool as me :)). Or he has gained weight, fallen into depression, his life as a whole is not going well (this, fortunately, has passed me by).
His mistresses knocked his arrogance down, because they want better things, but you liked something more about him than “clothes.”
If you catch yourself feeling sorry, drive it away. Monitor his actions and words.
There are a couple of nuances. And let's be honest. He realized that you were generally fine and wants to return to this state AT YOUR EXPENSE.
Often this impulse is unconscious. Like happy memories of childhood that you always return to.
Honey, you don't need to save anyone. Everyone must work on themselves and their relationships at the same time. This is the whole point of personal growth.
"I'm not guilty. He came himself"2
But there are such “unhappy” moments when only he alone, (even if abandoned by her) will be able to console and pat her on the head exactly the way she loves and wants. Only he is the only one.
The reason is the sensuality of the partners. The couple breaks up, but the sensual connection remains between them forever. They don’t communicate for years, and then unexpectedly their eyes meet - and she understands that he was sent by heaven itself.
Well, you can indulge yourself with such illusions or justify it with an emotional breakdown. But the fact remains that things done in the heat of the moment often torment one’s conscience for many years. If there is no feeling of guilt, then everything may be done correctly. But this is only in relation to herself. For an existing partner, this will always be considered cheating.
The male scenario for the development of such events is typical for creative people who store images of people and attach vivid emotions experienced to them.
You have become successful
You got what you dreamed of for a long time without his participation and help. This point is slightly different from the first point, although in one thing they are similar: success, like happiness, is different for everyone.
She wanted to travel, promoted a blog, organized an exhibition of her paintings and sold each one for a million, but he insisted that there was no talent, that you couldn’t make money from it.
He criticized, doubted, underestimated, instead of supporting and encouraging...
“Sveta has already opened a beauty salon, Masha paints pictures, but not as cheap as you, and Irka, my classmate has already traveled all over Europe, where do you care about her! And your ideas are so-so"
This is a success!
It doesn't matter who abandoned whom. He made me doubt myself - you couldn’t stay with such a man and you couldn’t return to him either.
Such men usually count themselves among the witnesses of your triumph. They believe that the main impetus to success was their pseudo-motivation.
If you have already tried on the role of “strong and independent” and your ex suddenly appeared on the horizon, think about it. It's time to seriously work on yourself.
Bring back your lost and forgotten femininity to attract worthy and strong men.
The following articles will help you understand yourself even better:
- I love my ex-husband
- Friendship with ex-husband
- Man after divorce
Hidden motives
Why do men return? Psychologists give a simple answer - they are all owners. Men always want to know that all the women they have ever slept with or wanted to conquer are still waiting for them, needing them, missing them. These are the hidden motives of possessiveness:
- Feeling like a “real man”.
- There will be something to brag about to your friends.
Often men break up with women because they think that they can win any girl’s heart at any moment. However, if a man begins to face rejection from new strangers, he may think: “Why not call your ex?”
This does not depend on whether the man is single or married. If he has left a woman and for a long time cannot attract the attention of other ladies, interest him, seduce him, make him his mistress, then he returns to his ex - a young lady who has already been conquered earlier. If the ex agrees to see each other and is glad to communicate, then this calms the man down - everything is fine with him, it’s just that some women have been angry and unfriendly.
At first, the man will “lick his wounds”, satisfy his “hunger”, and then start walking again in the name of new victims. If the ex doesn't like it, then he will break up with her.
There may also be such a scenario as a man deliberately distancing himself from a woman in order to refresh his feelings. Nothing evokes passion better than temporary separation. When the man shows up again, he takes the woman to bed in order to take possession of her with new emotions and experiences.
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He wants to start over
Relationships with your ex are like relationships with an old frying pan.
You see a new and beautiful one on the display case - with a non-stick coating and a heat-resistant handle, but you pass by. Because eggs are fried easier and tastier on an old lady.
Also with men, you have two options: create and develop in a new relationship with a new man or get stuck in those that are simpler and more familiar, with the same one.
Honey, everything connected to the past takes energy to create the present. Think about it!
“It was two thousand one hundred and first day...”5
There is also a reason - everything is tired, worn out, boring. The couple have been together for many years and already have children. And go to the same place every year to relax. Every weekend to the same cafe. With friends we pretend that everything is fine. The houses crawled into their own corners, unable to see or hear each other. Breake down?
No, but what about family, children? What will your friends say? We remember an ex who probably has the same story. We go to share grief with him, in an attempt to find joy. The reasons should be sought within yourself. We look for happiness there. By understanding yourself and talking with your partner, you can find a way out of any situation. Cheating is a temporary pleasure, it is not an option.
Cheating covers up mistakes in relationships and feelings. They are easy to justify without drawing conclusions about yourself. Why people cheat with exes is a question that is often asked, but a solution is rarely sought. It’s easier to believe in “I missed you” or “I was drunk.” The reasons are not only in the traitor, the reasons for all family discord are in both. After all, a family is two halves of one whole.
It happens that as a result of cheating with exes, old relationships develop with renewed vigor. And over time they grow into strong and reliable families.
What should a woman do if she wants a man to return?
A lady who has broken up with a guy and wants to regain his affection should not allow scandals to arise.
Experts advise following these recommendations:
- Refrain from writing angry messages.
- Do not pester a man with phone calls.
- You can't push for pity.
- Whether by chance or intentionally meeting your ex, you should avoid discussing past relationships. Must demonstrate a positive attitude and independence.
If the guy doesn't offer to meet, you can organize a date yourself. The reason could be a small request, for example, help in repairing plumbing. It is important that the meeting leaves only positive emotions.
It’s worth thinking about your image: it should be natural, but memorable. An unkempt woman is unlikely to attract attention.
When do women return?
The girl’s return to her ex-partner is directly dependent on the reason for the separation and the presence of feelings for the man. As a rule, difficulties in couples do not arise overnight; they accumulate over months and years. If difficulties are hushed up and not discussed with your partner, then someday this will result in a large-scale quarrel. There are several global reasons for a break:
- A sudden conflict, under the influence of momentary negative emotions, increases the chances of separation. When for one of the lovers, integrity and pride are above all else. It’s not uncommon for numerous small quarrels to lead to separation, from which you get tired and just want to take a break.
- Treason. Many couples break up for this very reason. Men are polygamous by nature; it is difficult for them to restrain their instincts. As a result, the woman who suffers is emotionally weaker and more attached.
- Violence. The female sex is obviously weaker than the male sex and cannot answer. Such a relationship is doomed from the start. If a girl returns to such a person again and again, then it is worth thinking about a painful addiction, akin to a drug addiction.
During the emergence of affection and love, the girl does not notice any shortcomings, but everyone has their own character, habits, manner of communication and behavior in everyday life.
People in love find ways to get around the “sharp corners” and adapt to each other. When feelings pass, minor shortcomings begin to irritate and infuriate, quarrelsomeness and discontent appear in girls. The psychology of relationships is built on the trust of partners and complete mutual understanding. If a woman returns, then she has thought about everything a million times, remembered both positive moments and negative situations. As a result, positive emotions prevailed, and there is a feeling that everything can be returned to normal.
