The inner core of a person - how to develop in a man and a woman?

How to develop an inner core in a person

Why is this necessary – one of the readers will ask.
I live normally, nothing bothers me. Well, yes, I’m not as strong as my comrade, but that doesn’t make me any worse. We hasten to disappoint you, strong people live much better. They always have light at the end of the tunnel. But the weak, every now and then live with fears, apprehensions, feel their defenselessness. Therefore, it is important to develop internal strengths, and what needs to be done for this, how to strengthen the spirit? First of all, develop internal support, which is no less important than the spine, heart, etc. Thanks to its strength, we can firmly survive any situation

Be yourself. Don't be afraid that others will judge you, that someone will think you are stupid or unlucky. The main thing is that you live up to your own assessments and are satisfied with yourself. So, you will take responsibility for your own life, and the village will follow the path that you have determined for yourself.

Choose the most acceptable system of worldview and values for yourself and strictly adhere to these norms. Literally 3 weeks will pass and if you strictly follow the chosen guidelines, you will change beyond recognition.

Do not ignore someone else's point of view, but at the same time, express your position. And when choosing a decision or verdict, weigh the pros and cons of everything you have heard, read and your conclusions.

It is impossible to form an inner core if you do not follow moral guidelines. Here you need to choose - follow human instincts, passions or other main qualities - decency, honesty, self-esteem, the ability to empathize and help. Some people believe that all this can only be acquired by “inheritance”, absorbed with mother’s milk. But that's not true! Yes, there are innate moral characteristics. But if a person engages in self-education, and at any age (not counting the elderly), then he will be able to overcome his shortcomings:

greed;
greed;
cunning;
black mouth;
intrigue;
cruelty, etc.

Don't believe me? Remember the stories about the miraculous reincarnation of people thanks to religion.

We know that to combat drug addiction, alcoholism and other addictions, specialists take tough methods. They tie them to batteries, put them on a chain, inject them with antidepressants, etc. But the Orthodox Church treats the unfortunate differently. They offer freedom of choice and the only thing they ask for is prayer.

It turns out that every word of Orthodox prayers contains great power. Thanks to which people not only get rid of bad habits, but also change their character. Subsequently, the healed people themselves take steps to help other sufferers.

Build a temple within yourself and don’t let troubles and troubles frustrate your goals. After all, it is impossible to create an inner core without an inner attitude. You need to convince yourself that there are no hopeless, insurmountable circumstances in life.

A person with an inner core cannot be such if he does not have spiritual and moral values. This is the very strong castle that will protect you from the “attacks” of temptations, difficult situations and events. During their attack, everything will be wiped off the face of the Earth, but your inner citadel will remain safe and sound. Thanks to its safety, you can quickly recover. And move on through life with your head held high with your companions - Faith, Hope and Love!

There are internal forces, a core, which means there must be a meaning to existence. Moreover, he is crystal clear, honest, decent, responsible, merciful and open. Thus, a morally and spiritually powerful person will not stray from the straight path. And his deeds will never diverge from his thoughts and desires.

To develop an inner core, you need to immediately start getting rid of everything harmful and unnecessary. If you smoke, quit the cigarette immediately and never return to it. No need to run to pharmacies and look for special patches, sprays and tablets

It is important to want and take the will “into your fist” and you will easily forget about the addiction. The same applies to other bad habits - alcohol, gambling, etc.

You also need to train your willpower every morning. Get up early and do some healthy exercise or other active activities for your health.

The inner core, paradoxical as it may sound, should be soft and flexible. A person who is strong inside and pleasant, merciful, able to empathize and sympathize externally is a true person for whom there is no misfortune of others. Also, this trait allows you to see your mistakes, work on them, engage in healthy self-criticism and respect the opinions of outsiders.

Video on how to become better and gain strength of spirit:

How to grow your inner core

It all depends on the strength of a person, the strength of his inner core, his ability to accept and analyze negative experiences. If a person is weak, then he cannot bear a large amount of negativity, he begins to break down, weakens even more, considers himself a victim and in every possible way contributes to maintaining and strengthening this image.

People with a strong inner core, when difficulties arise, ask themselves questions about why they fell into this situation, and what they can do to benefit from it for themselves. They accept life as it is without crying or suffering.

However, all this is not given to them at birth; a person grows a core within himself, constantly strengthening it. This is a difficult path, but it is worth doing in order to be a strong and self-sufficient person.

So, what do you need to do in order to grow your inner core ?

Firstly, you should not shift responsibility for what happened to anyone; everyone is responsible for everything only themselves. It is important to understand that all the events that have happened and that will happen to you are the result of your choice. When we shift responsibility for our words, actions, deeds, thoughts, etc. on someone, it weakens us, destroys the core. The same thing happens if we allow anger to control us.
Secondly, you need to believe in yourself, in your strength and ability to cope with difficulties. It is important to accept yourself as you really are, with all your strengths and weaknesses, thoughts, desires and actions. By showing off only that part of ourselves that seems good and pleasant to us, we devalue ourselves as a person, fall apart, and cease to be whole. Dependence on other people's opinions, worrying about how we look in the eyes of strangers also contributes to wasting oneself, bending and weakening the inner core.
Thirdly, you should not strive to do everything as quickly as possible. Before you take the path of correction, you should prepare, ask yourself what you need, what you should do, and what you shouldn’t do. It is also important to understand your surroundings: do all people have a positive influence on us, or should we reduce or stop communicating with someone altogether?

Growing the inner core is a long and painstaking process, but it is worth it.

Source

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Slaves to your habits

A person cannot work on his core for one simple reason - he depends on his habits. It is impossible to develop strength in yourself if you are constantly lazy and expect quick results. It is possible to find a core, but it requires effort.

The modern world dictates its own rules. Everyone is in a hurry, trying to do a lot, not paying attention to quality, they want to get everything at once. Let's take, for example, the credit system. Yes, of course, it has many advantages. But think about it - you receive the goods immediately, but pay for it for several years. And you're overpaying too. There is no patience at all in the modern world. People don't know how to endure and wait.

Working on yourself involves changing your habits. Working on laziness, proper distribution of priorities, changing your needs, etc. Many habits can be abandoned painlessly, the main thing is to understand why you are doing it.

Choosing glue gun refills

Diameter and overall dimensions are the main requirements for rods. In most cases, material with a thickness of 11 mm or 7 mm is suitable for solving typical problems. The length of the rod is determined by the parameters of the gun. Rods are available for sale, the length of which varies from 40 to 300 millimeters. Accordingly, the price of the material increases depending on the size of the rod.

If special requirements are placed on the quality of the connection, the material is selected accordingly. Black rods are used when it is necessary to achieve maximum seam identity with the surface. Special compositions are used for increased requirements for structural rigidity. Bonding dissimilar materials is also possible when using special brands of glue.

When choosing glue, color marking is taken into account. The opaque composition is universal and intended for use in most cases. Translucent material having a certain shade has a special purpose. White and black glue gun refills are also universal and designed for general use.

Cylinders of white color and opaque consistency are used for gluing glass and metal. Translucent materials are suitable for working with wood, paper and combinations thereof. Black rods are characterized by insulating and sealing properties, therefore they are used for processing stressed elements, as well as for strengthening seams.

When working with materials that heat up significantly during operation, special adhesive compositions are used. Such rods are high-temperature and do not lose their characteristics when heated significantly. As a rule, cylinders with a melting temperature of about 100 or 150 degrees are presented on the market. The choice of one or another rod is determined by current needs.

The choice of cylinders with a diameter of 11 mm or 7 mm is made based on the characteristics of the hot glue gun used. Diameter, melting point, fluidity of the material and its melting rate are the main criteria for selection.

The inner core of a man

A man who has a personal core is the master of life, who will not become a slave to others. A man needs an inner core in order to be able to become a true authority for his child and wife.

The inner core of personality gives a man the ability to effectively confront any difficulties, make consistent and wise decisions, remain free, not listen to the opinions of others, and not depend on any annoying external circumstances.

In the understanding of many women, a man’s inner core is the quality that adds attractiveness, which is observed in a person’s manner of speaking, interesting, and attractive. A man with a strong character will be able to enter into a tense discussion and justify his personal position. Even if there is a misunderstanding, he will remain with an individual opinion and will withstand the flow of his opponent’s lies; he is also able to remain silent if necessary. It is easy for such a man to adapt to continuous changes in circumstances. It is easy for him to overcome depression, not allow negative emotions to develop, and support others in their need. Such a man knows how to muffle his feelings, memories and think positively in a negative situation. He is always ready to defend personal interests. A man without a personal core is not decisive, not firm in his intentions, he is easily forced, persuaded or persuaded to decisions that contradict his real views.

How to develop a masculine inner core?

I decided to share with you my article, which I have been working on for a long time! We will talk about masculine qualities. In particular, about the INNER ROD . I consider this generally the basis (foundation) not only in seduction. Any person who is consistent in his actions and endowed with the ability to distinguish the main from the secondary already has his own inner core. In addition, you need to have your own life beliefs and principles so as not to depend on the opinions of others. Any man must develop his inner core. Only this will help him withstand any adversity, learn to make the right decisions, be self-sufficient and manage his own life. Only such a man will occupy a dominant place in the family and be an authority in it. And one more important fact - men with an inner core are endowed with increased attractiveness, as most representatives of the fair sex believe. Development of the inner core. In order to develop your inner core, you first need to set life goals that will stimulate you to work. They need to be formulated as something that needs to be learned, because self-development is the only thing for which there are no barriers. To do this, it is worth mastering new areas of knowledge, engaging in training, and showing interest in reading and analytics. Without self-development, the inner core will rather destroy than help build. In addition, we should not forget about life experience, which is the main foundation for the development of the inner core. After all, this quality is inherent only in an adult, an accomplished person, so it’s time to leave childhood behind and start living an adult life, living a conscious life in which there is no place for reflexes, but only conscious actions for which you are not ashamed to be responsible. Each step must correspond to the principles of life as much as possible. A man with an inner core always has his own view on any issue, be it self-development, career, home. He has his own opinion in any situation. And most importantly, he is not afraid to voice it and justify it. Sometimes it happens that a man who at the beginning of a relationship has established himself as a person with an inner core, later turns out to be not at all what he seemed. It is not easy to be the ideal companion for such a man. Alas, meeting him these days is not uncommon. Anyone who strives to have a quality life can live up to the image of an ideal man. It happens that a woman in a conversation may accuse a man of lacking a masculine core. But ask her what it is, and she herself will not be able to answer this question. And it all comes from what he intuitively understands, but cannot formulate, because he lacks knowledge. This picture is typical for the vast majority of couples, but there are also those for whom there are no such questions. After all, a lot depends on proper upbringing. We often come across families where a boy grew up without a father and not every woman is able to raise him to be a real man, because she herself, being a “single mother,” was unable to create a real family, driving the man into such a position that he became "mediocre." Male core . Any man should know all the components of the male core, which we will outline below, as “Our Father” and repeat throughout the day. Any woman who is a mother should look at how to raise her son. And the wife should take note of what can be legally demanded from a man. “The desire to learn, activity, responsibility” - this is the most basic triad for the development of the male core. Armed with it once and for all, life will change in incredible ways. Let's look at how this works. The desire to know. The desire to learn is a worldview, which is one of the most important parts of a man’s core. It depends on this whether a man is able to provide a future for his loved ones, maintain his strong qualities throughout his life, whether he can rely on his male shoulder, or whether he will not live up to expectations and slide down the social and moral ladder. Activity. When we say “activity,” we mean any activity other than work, be it diving or a hobby like collecting coins. You can’t take a careless approach to many components of a person’s life. When a man does not know how to use himself, he will find something to do in the free time he has, eking out, for example, an aimless life in front of a computer screen, playing games, or will find solace in alcohol, which is even worse. Alas, one cannot be proud of such a man, much less follow his example. And when asked: “What does your husband do,” any woman will only lower her eyes to the floor. Commitment. It must be mandatory everywhere. Here it is important to be a pedant in everything and be just as pedantic in your every word and action. When a woman does not keep her word or changes her mind, this is normal, this is a purely feminine trait inherent in the good half of the fair sex. But this is not allowed for a man, because only an obliging man who knows the weight of his word can expect to become an authority among his family, otherwise this will lead to endless disagreements, which sooner or later will drive the relationship into a dead end. It is good advice to take full responsibility on yourself in order to become a leader and gain respect in the family. And, to summarize the above, I would like to wish all men to be worthy husbands and fathers of the family, and to support their inner core in order to rightfully be called REAL men!
February 20, 2020, 10:00 pm 69346 0

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Start small

The very first thing is to start working hard on yourself. Stop being lazy and waiting for a miracle. Nothing will happen by itself. No one will hand you success on a silver platter.

Understand that no one is responsible for your success except you. Don't be afraid to take responsibility for your actions. Stop putting it on other people. Many people say that nothing works out for them because of their parents, boss, or spouse. But that's not true. It doesn’t work out because you don’t want it yourself.

Realize that you have the power to influence any situation. Just start doing it. Your life depends only on you and your actions. If you want to change your relationship with your boss, don’t be afraid, change it.

Understand why this happened, what you did wrong, what circumstances accompanied the situation. Don't lose confidence in yourself. Mistakes should not get the best of you.

Work not on the external image, but on the internal one. Learn to be patient. Banish laziness. Find an activity that you will do every day for at least half an hour. Introduce new habits into your life and give up old ones. Yes. This is hard. This is not done in one go. But if you want to achieve success, you will have to work hard.

You may be able to find some interesting insights in Stephen R. Covey's book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Powerful tools for personal development."

This work by an American consultant in various fields can give you some interesting ideas that you can apply in your life.

Female rod

A woman with an inner core has her own “I”, she is a Personality.

A woman with an inner core is an adult who lives in the “here and now” state, in the present time. She resolves all issues without putting them off for later.

She Loves and Respects Herself. Loves and Respects his Choice.

She has her own vision of the world, her own view of situations, of people.

She gives a chance to any human manifestations, without judging or criticizing, because she realizes that every person is free and is responsible for his own life. Women - in their own way. Men in their own way.

A woman shapes her reality on subtle planes, energetically, giving birth to Love and radiating it into the surrounding space. All events in a woman’s Life and Destiny are created by herself: her thoughts, feelings, emotions, intentions.

Therefore, it is very important for a woman to distinguish between her own desires and those imposed by someone from the outside; be able to listen to yourself and your true desires and make all decisions in your life in accordance with them.

Be responsible for the actions

The need to answer, first of all to friends, for failure to fulfill any promises made in a common company, forces the young man to tense up or even limit himself in some way. A habit is developed of not allowing words to differ from deeds.

Growing up and the emergence of a natural attraction to the opposite sex allows another beacon to appear, which is not always easy to get to. Some people have to resort to improving their own appearance. And only then the object of adoration becomes accessible. And the habit of forcing yourself not to lie down under the covers in the morning, but to run around the park, is also not easy.

A way to strengthen willpower is to adhere to an unusual or unloved way of eating. Diet helps a lot not only to make your body attractive, but also makes you think differently. But all this applies to a person who has not yet become ossified and, under the influence of surrounding people and circumstances, can develop a masculine core on his own.

What is the inner core?

Some people, who are the majority, look for support, hope and support among others. But there is a small part of people who try to find support from themselves, help themselves, advise, reassure, hope, rely on internal qualities and knowledge - they can be called those who have an inner core. What it is? The inner core is understood as the strength of the individual, which is free from the assessments and judgments of others, practical, conscious, relies only on itself and relies on its own judgments and ideas.

Thanks to the inner core, a person becomes strong in situations of failure or external pressure. The less a person is self-confident and relies on himself, the more he becomes susceptible to the influence of the world around him. Therefore, the inner core needs to be developed, which helps with activity, creativity, activity, and fearlessness. You need to learn to take responsibility and be proactive, while not being afraid of the consequences, even if some actions are wrong.

Surround yourself with people who allow you to be strong, confident, make your own decisions and do things without asking or permission. A healthy environment can be called one that consists of psychologically healthy people. And these people feel confident, strong, independent and responsible, giving other people the opportunity to be the same.

In modern society, you can see how people try to be strong and self-confident. This is done by humiliating and suppressing others. Notice how people criticize, mock, and try to manipulate each other. It is in these ways that they try to feel strong and confident, at least for a short time.

The fact is that very few people today feel confident, strong, capable of achieving and overcoming anything. They don't feel it in themselves. But when they go out into society, they want to appear to be something they are not. Therefore, they insult, humiliate, manipulate, command, give advice when they are not asked, etc. After all, if they manage to subjugate, “put someone down,” and win, then it is then that they will feel strong and confident, at least for a short time .

When it comes to responsibility and independence, many people run away from it. They are happy to put their lives on the shoulders of others, avoid responsibility for their own actions, and blame others for everything. This is their choice, for which they still pay by living in poverty, misery and subjugation.

But if you are tired of these games, when you try to be strong with some people by humiliating them, and with others you become weak because they manage to subjugate you, then try to rid yourself of the company of people who are not strong, self-confident, independent and responsible. There are few such people, but there are some who feel strong, confident, independent and responsible. And if you find at least one such person, then try to become his friend. This will reward you.

To become a strong and confident person, you need:

Surround yourself with people who consider themselves strong and confident. We are not talking about those who, by humiliating, subjugating and manipulating others, assert themselves. These people do not consider themselves strong and confident. Here we are talking about those who respect other people, allow them to make their own decisions, always negotiate and offer without pretense. These people are confident and strong, and therefore do not pretend to assert themselves at your expense. As they say, such people live themselves and allow others to live.
Cultivate these feelings within yourself. A person becomes strong and self-confident when he considers himself such. First, you must treat yourself as strong and confident. Secondly, you must consider yourself a strong and confident person. Third, your strength and confidence are demonstrated by your actions. There is nothing better than proving your strength and confidence by achieving your goals. You have some dreams, don't you? Thus, start realizing your desires. This will prove to yourself your strength and give you confidence.

There are very few people today who are actually strong and confident. The majority of people only try to appear as such through humiliation, subordination and manipulation of each other. But this does not prove their strength, but only confirms their weakness. Therefore, if there is such an opportunity, then try to rid yourself of the company of weak people who are just trying to appear strong and confident. Surround yourself with people who make you feel strong and confident.

Moreover, in their company you feel how you become independent, decisive, and responsible. These people allow you to live, make mistakes, make decisions without asking their permission and be responsible for all this. Isn't this high society? This is perhaps the most perfect society, where each member becomes strong, confident, independent and responsible due to the fact that the people around him consider him as such, since they themselves are such.

The internal core is the presence of a system of values and beliefs, views on the world, with which a person operates when making decisions and choosing actions. A woman with an inner core does not judge or criticize anyone, but is engaged in creating her own life. The inner core helps men to be strong in any difficult situation and solve all their problems.

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Self-restraint

First of all, for this, a man must be capable of self-restraint. How to cultivate it in yourself? Unfortunately, an accomplished person is unlikely to be able to change anything without outside help. You'll have to turn to psychologists.

Very young children are able to educate themselves independently. Teenage relationships allow you to take examples from celebrities who have been able to achieve success in life and become role models. Advice on how to pump up the male core is expressed and written by peers from monitor screens; these problems are discussed in sports clubs and at friendly parties.

Men without a core

The objective reality has become that apathy and weak-willedness, brought up in “mama’s boys” by powerful women with strong attitudes, dominate the life views, and, accordingly, the behavior of some men. They are not capable of being strong, they have the habits of an eternal boy, and about the morality of one or another of their actions they have only a point of view that has been put into their head since childhood. Not everyone succeeds in rethinking their life views and understanding the reasons for their mistakes and failures. Even just understanding that the solution to this or that issue could have had a different result if a man had been able to defend his opinion is sometimes beyond his power.

Therefore, not everyone is able to rationalize the fact that it is simply necessary to develop a masculine core, as life situations suggest. An indicator of a change in a man’s inner world is his actions. If a man who has not found himself in life joins the company of those who have given up, he will most likely plunge into a depressed state, and alcoholism will become inevitable. His character will become unbearable, he will even lose the job that somehow fed him, family discord, illness and neuroses will turn into constant companions. One way out of the situation can be one thing: to be able to develop the masculine core as a way to get rid of restlessness and find a favorite activity, a happy life, and material wealth.

How is the Inner Man formed in the inner world of a woman?

The inner man, as part of the personality, is formed in the process of growing up as a woman. This happens due to interaction with the male world, accessible to the girl in the process of upbringing. This is father, grandfather, brother, uncle. The most important figure who forms the Inner man in the inner world of a woman is the father. In order for a mature Inner man to be formed, a father must perform several main functions in relation to his daughter. This is protection, care and provision. A father who loves and accepts his daughter unconditionally. And at the same time guaranteeing her both physical and psychological female safety. Under such conditions, a basic sense of security is formed in the girl’s psyche. The father's care for the girl's basic psychological needs, such as admiration, acceptance, approval, forms in the future woman high self-esteem and the ability to accept herself as a woman.

If there was no father, or he was a tyrant, or an alcoholic. Or maybe there was a caring father, but he dreamed of a son, but a girl was born. This behavior of the father often forms in a woman an unconscious rejection of her gender. Violates the basic sense of security and the right to being. “I don’t have the right to just be, I need to earn love. To be comfortable or to be successful like a man." Which creates tension in the psyche, and in the future, in the behavior of a woman. As a result of such upbringing, a number of immature psychological defenses are formed in the psyche of the future woman. Her femininity is unable to mature under such conditions. As an adult, she is able to show the world to men either her infantile girl or her aggressive and tense hypermother.

How to develop an inner core and why you need it

Cons of not having a strong inner core
A man with a strong inner core
How to develop your inner core

Disadvantages of not having a strong inner core:

So, in the absence of an internal rod:

It is easy to fall prey to manipulators, narcissists, or to lose yourself in another person;
A person is carried along the shores of life in different directions, like a ship that does not know where it is sailing. The environment involves him to achieve their goals, not him, and also uses him;
It's easy to get caught up in guilt and the desire to save everyone;
The person is lazy and apathetic;
It is easy to become addicted to alcohol, cigarettes, shopping or relationships (codependent relationships);
There is no self and personal I, a person tends to imitate others, look for teachers and shift responsibility.

Are you growing the power of your energy?

This is facilitated by asceticism, dousing, eating plant foods, drinking plenty of water, yoga, contact with nature, loneliness, pranayama, prayers and visiting holy places.

A man with a strong inner core

Let’s draw up an approximate portrait of a person with a “strong inner core”:

Confident, believes in himself. He knows that if something doesn’t work out, he needs to try 1,000,000 more times. Doesn't need cheap self-affirmation.

He understands that he is a unique person and there is no exactly the same person in the world.

Has adequate self-esteem and integrity, self-acceptance. And if everyone around him stopped believing in him, then he will never stop believing in himself.

Confident, but not arrogant. When he has the opportunity and desire to help, he will do it.

Knows where it's going. He has a certain mission in his life, a will. Focused on goals. He is the owner and creator of his life.

Knows how to separate the essential from the unimportant and stick to his routine. Responsible

He has wisdom, prudence and the ability to control his emotions.

He knows how to analyze situations and live them in such a way that he gets the most out of his experience, becoming an increasingly wiser person.

His energy is strong, he seems to glow. People are drawn to him like a magnet, trying to imitate and copy. Inner strength helps him grow.
Has its own principles and values and follows them.

He knows what is bad for him and what is good. These principles lead him forward and give him self-respect.

At the same time, he does not impose these principles on anyone and does not give unsolicited advice.

Allows other people to be themselves and make their mistakes, while respecting their choices. But at the same time he makes his own choice based on his own principles. Acts nobly.

He is flexible because he knows how quickly the world and the processes in it are changing.

And if he did not have flexibility, then we would be more likely to call him “stubborn” and “hard-headed.”

Able to accept someone else's opinion if he sees that it can help or take him to a new level. Admits his mistakes and learns from them.

How to develop your inner core

Write your answers in your notepad:

What is my life mission and purpose?
Do I have a strategy and plan for my movement?
Am I trying to establish myself at the expense of others?
Am I associating with people below me in status just to feel like the king of the swamp?
When something doesn't work out for me, do I try again and again, testing different strategies without giving up?
Is it comfortable if they behave this way around me?
What do I want now?
What bad habit can I start giving up today?
What promises did I keep?
Am I now helping from the position of a rescuer, from a feeling of guilt, or from the fact that I really want this?
Do I analyze current situations from the perspective of: what valuable things did she give me? What lessons can I learn for the future? What lesson did the creator teach me through this person? Am I acting noble now?

Find phrases that align with your values and mission and keep them visible at all times. On the mirror, for example.

Write down your 10 positive and 10 negative qualities, look at them and finally stop fighting and accept them.

These practices will help you find strength within yourself.

As you can see, the inner core is not just brute strength, but the ability to combine integrity and flexibility; honesty with understanding when to remain silent; Confidence with responsiveness to others.

Have clear boundaries and not let anyone get into them, and at the same time, be kind and pleasant in communication.

Accept yourself in balance: both negative, positive, and shadow sides.

You feel safe around such people.

And the best part is that you can develop your inner core! Published by econet.ru.

PS And remember, just by changing your consciousness, we are changing the world together! econet

How to learn to rely on yourself

Everyone can find and strengthen their inner core. This process cannot be called fast. Rather, it is a systematic work on internal transformation. Changes are possible, but working on yourself must be systematic. The best approach here is the concept of “small steps” - doing a little, but every day.

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The first thing to do is to stop comparing yourself with other people who, as it seems to us, are more successful in the field of interest to us. The ability to rely on yourself is much easier to develop if you abandon the position of “Victim” and become the Author of your life.
Explore existing experiences, make friends with your true “I”. This is not an easy path. After all, you will have to honestly look your fears and doubts in the eye, and admit that you do not have the best qualities.
They help develop inner core and real achievements. When we see a concrete result of work, self-esteem becomes higher. That is why it is important to celebrate your achievements every day - at least the smallest ones.
It is also useful to develop independence and responsibility. This allows you to take the position of an Adult who either fulfills what he promises or does not make unnecessary promises at all. In some cases, it is useful to try to master the position “You need it - you do it.”
The ability to rely on oneself is also manifested in such qualities as optimism, a special attitude in life. A person understands that his fate largely depends on his own actions. He believes that any difficult situation can be resolved in his favor - the main thing is to know how. Such a person will not fall into despondency and panic. Instead, he will ask himself - what else can I do to resolve this situation in my favor?

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It happens that a person wants to change his life without the need to make changes to himself or his behavior. But this is only a fight against the symptoms of the disease, without affecting the true causes. By developing our inner core, we learn new models of thinking and behavior - which means we gain a chance to radically change our reality.

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Hello! This is a blog on psychology, in which significant attention is paid to the topics of psychological violence - abuse, narcissism, relationships, personal crises, taking responsibility for one's life, increasing self-esteem, existential problems. The cost of consulting a psychologist is 3000 rubles/hour, in person (Moscow, Maryina Roshcha metro station), or via Skype About us/Make an appointment

Latest materials: (See all)

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Lack of self-reliance: main signs

The inability to support oneself affects all areas of life - work, family, study

Before considering the manifestations of internal resilience, let us pay attention to the main signs that signal the absence of an internal core

Conflicting desires. A person himself does not understand what he wants;
Addictions (alcohol and drug addiction, gambling addiction, unhealthy emotional attachment);
A person is doing something he doesn't like. Work is not fun;
He strives to please others - even if this behavior harms himself;
A feeling of fear of authorities - officials, managers;
The desire to find an assistant, a kind of “Teacher” who would suggest the right path in life;
Striving to be perfect in everything.

It also needs to be emphasized that the lack of self-support skills is always accompanied by dissatisfaction with the current life situation. The main emotions are fear and anger, irritation and bitterness, melancholy and resentment.

A woman's inner core

A woman who has an inner core is guided by her own emotions, opinions, and views. She prefers to solve her problems herself, rely primarily on herself, and has her own opinion on any matter. She does not like to put things off until later; she prefers to make choices herself. At the same time, she has self-respect, and she also demands respect from others.

A woman with an inner core creates her own life. She becomes harmonious in her emotional manifestations, because she takes responsibility for what emotions overwhelm her. She remains firm and unwavering in her desires. To some extent, she has masculine courage in expressing her desires and striving to realize them.

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The inner core of a man

This type of man is the master of his destiny, who will never, under any circumstances, obey someone else’s orders, or be a slave to someone’s desires. Every man, unlike women, is obliged to have the inner strength that allows him to endure any events with firmness. He must be an authority not only for friends, but also for his wife and children.

Thanks to this, he can withstand not only steadfastly, but also effectively all difficulties, make consistent decisions on time, be free and not depend on the opinions of outsiders.

A person who has an important and strong character trait is always the center of attention of women. Only behind him you can feel like behind a stone wall and not worry about the future

After all, a woman learned to choose a spouse back in primitive times. She has a completely built logical chain in her subconscious - a strong, decent man is an excellent father for future children.

She also wants them to gain the strong character of their father and grow up in care and full protection. These and other factors are guidelines for the fairer sex when choosing a good spouse. And as we know, there are, unfortunately, not enough strong men with an inner core for everyone. So you have to be content with what you have.

Inner rod

geralt / Pixabay
In contrast to this, a person who knows how to rely on himself has a sense of integrity, complete trust in himself. His main companions are joy, faith in one’s strength, and love. The inner core is a mixture of love of life and the will to happiness; It is he who helps to withstand difficult life circumstances and withstand the constantly changing conditions of the outside world.

Book: 7 steps to stable self-esteem

The ability to rely on oneself is associated with a deep understanding of one’s life values. A person lives in accordance with his preferences: what I want to do and what I don’t; who I want to live with, and who I won’t even see, etc. At a minimum, to gain inner support, you need to be able to understand your desires and navigate your value system.

Giving up control in a relationship - three ways for a woman to gain psychological independence

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Rudiments

Already in the children's actions of boys one can discern the beginnings of a masculine core. Although at this age it is not always easy to be a man. A classmate and a classmate are walking home from school along the same path. The boy carries two briefcases every day - his and his neighbor's. But a misfortune happens: one of the boy’s hands ends up in a plaster cast. However, on the way home he again has two briefcases, but not in both hands, as always, but in one. The girl's attempt to carry her briefcase herself failed. So, the male core is clearly visible in the relationships between not yet fully formed personalities.

It doesn't matter if they separate later in life. Perhaps they will remain neighbors or link their lives into one

The main thing is that the boy’s masculine core once became an example for the girl in childhood. And in the future she will no longer be able to be near her partner without a rod. There is hope that she will be lucky on her first try. And perhaps she will have to choose for a long time, get burned, be disappointed, and be unhappy. Because not all men are capable of not only wearing trousers, but also having a masculine inner core. And we are not just talking about a metaphor denoting the structure of the psyche of a strong person. The conversation is about the fact that a person in the modern world, especially a man, has no right to be weak in extreme situations.

Create your Inner Core

Recently I thought about what determines all my aspirations at the moment? I came to the conclusion that I want to prove to myself once and for all that I am truly worth something.

All my previous attempts to do something worthwhile came from the desire to receive approval and admiration from other people. And indeed, I often received positive feedback addressed to me, but some essential part always eluded me.

Let's think together. The emotional charge from any positive feedback from other people sooner or later disappears. No matter what we do, there will always be people who will not like it (for example, not everyone can appreciate masterpieces of art...). Focusing on external sources of “positive self-esteem” is pointless, since in such a situation you are always vulnerable. After all, we cannot control other people, and, therefore, there is a fear that we will “lose our face” if something changes in the opinions of others about us.

Everything that is outside of us (outside our essence, soul) is all very fragile and cannot be used as the foundation of our future success.

The desire to create a solid foundation is the main desire of my life at the moment. I want to challenge myself and reach the end, go from “A” to “Z”. I want to gain the ability to tell myself boldly and absolutely confidently: “you passed this test - now you know your worth.”

Today I translated another article for myself, and I’m sharing it with you.

Source: Establish your own rocky baseline

Translation: Balezin Dmitry

We are often tempted to look “out there” for inspiration and motivation, whether in other people's stories, movies or songs. Very rarely do we have the inclination to look within ourselves and find our own stories, which I believe are the most powerful.

In this regard, I firmly believe that each of us should create our own inner core . Moreover, you will probably need this rod in the future.

By inner core, I mean something you can always fall back on when things get tough, when you start to doubt your abilities, when hope starts to fade, when things seem bleak.

This inner core is some significant achievement of yours, with which you proved to yourself that you have everything you need to reach the end. Once, against all odds, you achieved what you set out to do, now you can use these life experiences to find solace, new strength and hope in the darkest periods of life.

Rocky Balboa's inner core

If you've seen the first Rocky movie, then you know what I mean...

The main character of the film "Rocky" is played by Sylvester Stallone. Rocky is given the opportunity to fight the world heavyweight champion Apollo Creed. Rocky is fired up by this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. He trains hard, but on the night before the match, Rocky begins to lose heart.

After a walk, Rocky returns home and goes to bed. Together with his wife, he discusses everything that is going on in his soul. Here is a verbatim excerpt from the film: – Nothing will work out for me (Rocky); - What? (Adrian - Rocky's wife); – I can’t defeat him. - Apollo? - Yes. I walked around and thought. Who am I kidding? I'm not even in the same league as this guy. - What are you going to do? - I don't know. “You tried so hard.” – Yes, but it doesn’t matter, because I was nobody. - Do not say that! “Come on, Adrian, it’s true.” I was a nobody, but you know, that doesn't matter either. I think it really doesn't matter whether I win or lose this match. It doesn't matter if this guy breaks my head. All I want is to survive until the end. No one had ever survived all rounds on their feet against Creed before. You know, if I can stand it... If I'm still standing when the gong rings, then for the first time in my life I'll know that I'm not just a tramp. You read this paragraph and see how Rocky creates his inner core. If he can hold his own against Creed, that is, if he can hold out until the end of the fight for all 15 rounds, then he will know that he is truly worth something. He will know that he has what it takes to make it to the end. That he is not a simple tramp...

Rocky gives himself an ultimatum, and you can see why he feels compelled to succeed in this. Of course, he succeeds.

Let's make allowances for the fact that this is only a movie. However, can you imagine the inner core that Rocky would be able to create for himself if he actually won in real life? Can you imagine the amount of confidence, determination and perseverance he would have gained by winning this fight? An ordinary guy could stand up to a heavyweight boxing champion...

This is the inner core of Rocky Balboa. In the same way, each of us needs to create our own inner core - a specific goal for which we could burn all bridges, so that there is no way to retreat. So that we can give it our all and say to ourselves, “If I win this, I will know that I have what it takes to make it to the end.”

This is why you often hear successful people claim that even if you leave them penniless, they can have it all again within a few years. And only because they know what to do and, more importantly, they know that they have what it takes to get to the end.

They have their own inner core that they can rely on. This core lies not only in confidence, proactivity , determination and persistence, but also in their experience and knowledge.

We all need an inner core in case of difficult times. If you have already created such a rod, great. Rely on it if necessary.

If not, then create one for yourself right now. Give it your all, and when you succeed (which will happen if your intention is strong), you will realize that you have created your own inner core.

After this, you will never be the same again. ...

PS Finally, a few more words from me: I have thought many times what exactly causes such a storm of emotions in me while watching films such as: “Rocky”, “Braveheart”, “The Matrix”... now I know it - this is an unbending inner core main characters.

Share your thoughts. How can you create such a rod?

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How to ultimately develop an inner core

You need to have an inner core so as not to be a victim of circumstances or a slave of the people around you. The following factors will help with this:

Take responsibility for your life. Only you can influence yourself and your own life. Don't be afraid of the opinions of others

Moreover, stop paying attention to what other people think about you. Accept yourself entirely with all your strengths and weaknesses. Be confident in yourself, which will help by knowing your own capabilities and accepting that you do not know and can do everything. Set a goal that you will achieve and stay on track no matter what happens. Constantly move towards your goal, no matter how difficult it may be. Make your own choice

Don't let other people influence what you choose. Set your own rules and live by them. There is no need to impose your rules on other people, let them live the way they want. At the same time, do not let them impose their rules on you.

Live in the real world, get to know it, get to know yourself and accept all your shortcomings. Understand that shortcomings are not bad. If you are weak in something, you can ask other people to replace you in this matter, and in return help them when you are stronger than them.

How to grow your inner core

The inner core of a person, a strong personality - these words describe the structure of a strong and self-confident person. The inner core helps a person to withstand life’s difficulties, not break, find the strength to continue the fight and not give up on his principles. It all depends on the strength of a person, the strength of his inner core, his ability to accept and analyze negative experiences. If a person is weak, then he cannot bear a large amount of negativity, he begins to break down, weakens even more, considers himself a victim and in every possible way contributes to maintaining and strengthening this image.

So, what do you need to do in order to grow your inner core?

Firstly, you should not shift responsibility for what happened to anyone; everyone is responsible for everything only themselves. It is important to understand that all the events that have happened and that will happen to you are the result of your choice. When we shift responsibility for our words, actions, deeds, thoughts, etc. on someone, it weakens us, destroys the core. The same thing happens if we allow anger to control us.

Secondly, you need to believe in yourself, in your strength and ability to cope with difficulties. It is important to accept yourself as you really are, with all your strengths and weaknesses, thoughts, desires and actions. By showing off only that part of ourselves that seems good and pleasant to us, we devalue ourselves as a person, fall apart, and cease to be whole. Dependence on other people's opinions, worrying about how we look in the eyes of strangers also contributes to wasting oneself, bending and weakening the inner core.

Thirdly, you should not strive to do everything as quickly as possible. Before you take the path of correction, you should prepare, ask yourself what you need, what you should do, and what you shouldn’t do. It is also important to understand your surroundings: do all people have a positive influence on us, or should we reduce or stop communicating with someone altogether?

Growing the inner core is a long and painstaking process, but it is worth it.