I need you alone: ​​how to understand that a man needs a woman

Who is this bore

A bore is a person who is always fixated on one topic or problem. When doing work, he is annoying and boring. When communicating, such people are boring. One of the traits of nerds is nerdiness. They believe that they know more about everything than others.

The word “bore” has a definition formulated by linguist Efremova. These are called boring and annoying people. Ozhegov's dictionary gives a shorter meaning for the word "bore". This is a contemptuous name for a boring person.

Bores love to be smart and interfere in conversations

Signs of a real bore

You can identify such a person by their characteristic features. Among them:

• constantly focusing on the shortcomings of someone or something;
• imposing your opinion on others;
• excessive seriousness even in funny situations;
• lack of sense of humor;
• pessimism in everything;
• unwillingness to compromise;
• disagreement with someone else's opinion;
• boredom when performing any tasks;
• constant confidence in one's own rightness.

Self-centered and constantly self-obsessed - that's what a real bore is. He is usually emotionally cold. He is insensitive to other people's needs. A bore doesn't know how to listen. A boring person talks only about himself and his problems. He either ignores or quickly suppresses all attempts by the interlocutor to change the topic.

When can tediousness come in handy?

The desire to get to the root cause of the problem and bring the result to perfection, strict adherence to instructions, meticulousness, scrupulousness - all these qualities can irritate others. But they are also in demand in many professions where an impatient person will never succeed. Perhaps one of the professions that requires pedantry will suit you:

• Accountant.
• Safety Engineer.
• Controller or instructor of standard control.
• Statistical control specialist.
• Editor.
• Neurosurgeon.
• Software tester.
• Flaw detection engineer.

A profession that suits your personality will help reduce the degree of pedantry in everyday life. And also - to build a successful career where others are even afraid to approach. Famous perfectionists have worked in professions that require attention and clarity: American entrepreneur Bill Gates, actors Meryl Streep and Harrison Ford, 33rd US President Harry Truman, Japanese writer Haruki Murakami.

Conclusions:

• A bore is a person prone to pessimism who bores others with his arguments, specific humor and stories that are interesting to him alone.
• It is impossible to re-educate a bore, but you can learn to coexist with him.
• A simple but effective way to recognize a bore in yourself is to directly ask your friends about it.
• Boredom is annoying in everyday communication, but it helps to achieve success in professions that require attention to detail.

What a bore is like

These are not just one type of people. There are different types of bores. There are 4 types of such personalities:

• pedants;
• melancholic;
• smart guys;
• gossipers.

The first type of people adheres to the principles they have invented. This means that such a bore follows them strictly and demands the same from others. Any deviation from the principles of boring pedants is perceived with hostility by them. Such people like to impose their opinion, considering it the only correct one.

Boring pedants are picky about everything

Melancholic bores are constantly depressed. They consider themselves the most unfortunate people. They are characterized by frequent complaints about a difficult life. Such a person constantly expects pity and support from his interlocutors. Not receiving them, he plunges even more into a depressive state.

Nerd smart guys think they know everything about everything, as shown in the photo.

Nerd smart guys are sure that they know more than others

They consider themselves smarter than those around them. Such individuals can spend hours proving that they are right. They don't listen to other people's opinions. For them, only their own is authoritative.

Often, nerdy brainiacs achieve success in a particular field and believe that they have achieved perfection in it. They constantly emphasize their superiority in this. Boring smart people are incapable of making compromises.

How to get rid of boredom

Psychologists recommend getting rid of your tediousness if this quality manifests itself in you. It interferes with normal existence and building relationships. The only advice that applies in any case is to change your usual behavior. Since everyone manifests tediousness in their own way, to get rid of it, you just need to change your usual actions to the opposite:

1. If you like to give advice to everyone, then train yourself to help others only when they themselves ask for it.
2. If you like to complain about your problems, then learn to communicate with people about other, more fun and interesting topics.
3. If you prefer to sit at home in front of the TV in the evenings, then diversify your life by going to new places and meeting new people.
4. If you like to insist on your opinion without hearing someone else’s, then you should accustom yourself to hear other people and see the reasonable grain in their opinions.

A boring person needs to make his life more varied, active, free and positive. It is necessary to develop a sense of humor. Start to perceive the world around you more positively.

Give freedom to those around you. If you want to lecture and reproach them, then it is better to shut up and keep your mouth shut for a few minutes. You should learn to allow others to be different, different from yourself. If you want to express your reproach, then it is better to do it alone with the person and express your opinion once, and not many times in several different phrases. They said and fell silent - let the person decide what to do with your opinion. At the same time, calmly react to the fact that a person does not want to listen to him and continues to behave in a way that is convenient for him.

Use simple rules to get rid of boredom:

• Break the system of rules by which you are used to living.
• Bring some fun into life.
• Stop correcting and teaching people.
• Don't impose on other people.
• Get rid of your fears and complexes.
• Think big and be flexible.
• Don't teach others about life.

In getting rid of boredom, giving up the desire to surpass others in everything will help. Do you know and can do a lot? Focus all this on transforming your own life, and not on teaching other people.

Try not to impose yourself on people. Notice when other people are bored around you, they are already tired. Complete the communication or meeting yourself, devoting less time to it than before. Communicate with people as equals. If you are not asked about something, then there is no need to say it. If they are not interested in your problems, then you should not disclose them.

Allow people to be different from you. Let them live the way they want, even if they do it wrong!

At the same time, develop big-picture thinking, when you see the world in all its diversity, and not just from one side. The opinions of other people who have reasons for their occurrence will help with this: if people think differently, it means they see something in the world that you do not see.

What does boring mean

This is one of the qualities of character. Linguist Efremova in her dictionary gives the following definition of the word - annoying and tedious. Because of this character trait, a person is uninteresting, tiresome and unpleasant to communicate with. Boredom is closely related to pessimism. Such individuals are realists, but at the same time they see only negative manifestations in everything.

With this quality, a person takes life too seriously. He has no sense of humor, he does not look for compromises. He may be overly self-confident. When a person is boring, he does not accept other people’s opinions and imposes his own.

The quality of character is associated with the desire to interfere in other people's affairs and constantly get under the feet of others. Boring may be associated with tactlessness. A person is trying to give advice to those who did not ask for it. These are often authoritarian people who do not tolerate dissent.

Such a character trait as tediousness is formed in childhood. The reason for its appearance is children's complexes and fears.

Many turn into bores already in childhood.
The problem lies in the origins of its origin. The following options are possible:

1. Among bores, the largest percentage are melancholic, as well as phlegmatic. The first are too vulnerable and anxious, the second are overly serious. Melancholic people are often fixated on problems and seek to impose their society in order to receive pity from others. Phlegmatic people, due to their seriousness and dedication to work, can turn into pedants who consider themselves smarter and more capable than others.

1. Boring often manifests itself in people who are both inquisitive and prone to anxiety.
2. People who were raised by strict parents often become boring. If in childhood they were imposed unquestioning rules and norms of behavior and punished for violating them, then in adulthood such individuals become fixated due to fear of change and mistakes.
3. A person turns into a bore due to professional deformation. This is especially true for teachers. The habit of teaching makes such people boring.

Boredom also occurs in a person who is very passionate about something. He becomes fixated on it.

Being fixated on something turns a person into a boring person

All his conversations relate exclusively to his favorite business. Other topics seem uninteresting and insignificant to him.

Signs of tediousness

This character trait is recognized by the following manifestations:

• the desire to attach importance to what a person especially values;
• inability to laugh at other people's jokes (he often tries to find some meaning in them);
• teaching others and imposing on them their own rules of behavior;
• the use of categorical expressions in speech (“always” or “never”, “I hate” or “I adore”);
• inability to perceive other people's opinions;
• demonstratively emphasizing one's own superiority over others;
• the desire to turn an insignificant problem into a large insoluble problem;
• inability to see the hidden meaning in spoken words during a conversation.

Due to their reluctance to build relationships with others, such people often become loners. Even their loved ones often turn away from them. Such people are difficult to climb. They have a lot of fears and prejudices.

A sign of tediousness is fear of everything new.

Many bores think in patterns and prefer to act in proven ways. They rarely respond positively to anything new and progressive.

Spontaneity and risk-taking are not characteristic of this type of person. They also don't know how to have fun.

Types of tediousness

There are 5 types of this character trait. There are bores:

• pessimists;
• pedants;
• "professors";
• dependent;
• envious people.

The first type of people is always gloomy. They are constantly depressed. They are never satisfied with anything. Such a person tends to often complain about a hard life. They can talk for hours about their problems. These people are passive and lazy in life.

Bore pedants act only according to plan. They have everything clearly thought out. Any spontaneity is perceived as hostile by them. Any impulsive actions on the part of other people make them anxious or angry.

The boring professor is often erudite. He has information, but at the same time considers himself smarter than others. Any interlocutor feels uncomfortable next to such a person. The “Professor” loves to teach.

Boring professor types love to give instructions to everyone

He does not accept other people's arguments, considering his own to be the only correct ones. Such a bore often interrupts his interlocutors during conversations. He likes to cling to other people's words, correct them, and always tries to make comments.

A dependent bore is not independent. Such a person likes to ask questions and clarify what was said. Often dependent bores try to manipulate people through requests for help, achieving their goals from them. Their helplessness is often feigned and exaggerated.

The envious bore is a common type of people. They have a quarrelsome nature. They like to discuss things with strangers for a long time. Dissatisfaction is their normal state.

Bore and envious people are constantly dissatisfied with life

Such people feel good only when others are doing poorly.

How to get rid of boredom

Such a quality should be eradicated from oneself. It interferes with establishing healthy relationships with others. The following rules must be followed:

1. Help people only when they ask for it themselves. You should not give them unnecessary advice.
2. Stop complaining. When talking with your interlocutor, try to focus on positive things.
3. Change your own invented system of rules. You need to overcome yourself and get out of your comfort zone.
4. Learn to have fun. It is recommended to diversify your life with new acquaintances and hobbies.
5. Stop being lectured and listen to your interlocutors more often. People around you love to be listened to. This encourages communication and evokes sympathy.
6. Stop being obtrusive.

A bore often tries to demonstrate his superiority over his interlocutors. Such behavior should be abandoned. It is recommended to use your knowledge to improve your own life. People around them will develop a respectful attitude towards a person who has achieved success. Many of them will begin to strive to be the same. So the former bore will achieve his goal, achieving some superiority over others. At the same time, he will no longer be listed among them as a boring and fixated person.

How to get rid of boredom

A bore will probably be able to work on himself, since his character has the scrupulousness and determination necessary for this.
But the problem is that a bore rarely sees his shortcomings. The main problem is excessiveness, they have too many unnecessary words (reasoning, complaints, questions, and so on). Therefore, first of all, such people need to learn to notice this shortcoming of theirs and stop it, that is, be able to stop in time.

To do this, you need to be attentive, notice the reactions of others, seize the moment when they become bored and unpleasant, and not be offended by such a reaction.

Depending on what type of bore you are, you need to get rid of the following bad habits that manifest themselves when communicating with people around you:

1. complain about life, “infect” others with pessimism, anxiety, panic, sadness;
2. to find fault with trifles and minor inaccuracies, to demand absolute order everywhere and in everything;
3. teach, instruct, advise, criticize others when it is unpleasant for them or is not asked for it;
4. asking too many questions, annoying with requests for help, shifting responsibility to others.

In addition, you need to try and work on yourself in the following areas:

• get rid of existing complexes, fears, prejudices, patterns, stereotypes of thinking;
• in a company, listen more than talk, be interested in the opinions of others and take them into account, develop the skill of active listening;
• perform familiar actions in a new way (change the route, daily routine, old habits, and so on);
• develop creativity and creativity;
• be interested in and learn something new and unusual;
• develop a sense of humor, learn to understand jokes and laugh heartily;
• become an optimist, learn to enjoy life, notice the positive;
• allow yourself recklessness and risk, fun and childishness, have fun and relax more often.

How to avoid being boring

The surest way to avoid communicating with such people is to ignore them.

The best way to avoid contact with a bore is to ignore him.

You should not have long contact with them. A person with a strong character can make it clear to a bore that he has his own opinion and does not want to listen to his instructions. If a person is forced to communicate with an annoying person, then he is recommended:

• find a boring activity that will make him feel like a necessary and important person;
• act according to his scheme, also constantly complaining about life (many bores themselves will want to stop such communication);
• during conversations, persistently change the topic of conversation;
• constantly refer to being busy in order to avoid meetings;
• do not listen to what such a person says, do not respond to his messages.

When ignored and lack of pity on the part of others, a boring person often stops communicating and begins to look for other interlocutors.

Boredom is considered one of the negative qualities of a person. The appearance of such a character trait is often associated with childhood fears and complexes. In adult life, tediousness greatly prevents a person from contacting other people. To begin with, it is recommended to eradicate this quality in yourself. You should avoid communicating with bores, as such people take a lot of energy.

How to get rid of boredom

To stop being a bore, you will have to make an effort. New habits need to be formed. Character qualities will help you achieve what you want. Difficulties are possible for the reason that a bore woman or man rarely notices his shortcoming or considers it such.

You need to get rid of the habit of talking too much. You need to control the amount of what is said, get into arguments less often, and philosophize. To understand when to stop, you need to monitor the reactions of others: when they become bored, irritated, try to move the conversation to another topic, it is better to end the monologue

It is important to listen more to those around you, during a dialogue, try to hear your interlocutor, and not wait for your turn to speak.

Living with a bore is often difficult due to excessive pickiness in everyday matters. You should scold other people less and reduce the number of demands. It is better to refrain from criticism, especially in cases where a sensitive person is very upset by harsh words addressed to him.

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