Memo. RULES OF A NON-CONFLICT PERSON

Nowadays, conflicts in all their diversity are an integral part of society. They are found everywhere, from small quarrels to international confrontations. Most of us believe that conflict is a purely negative phenomenon, as a result of which only contradictions, quarrels, destruction and stress arise. Psychologists say that this is not an entirely correct opinion. Since, in addition to destructive conflicts, there are also constructive ones, with the help of which many hidden problems can be resolved.

The rules of behavior in a conflict situation determine what nature the quarrel will take.

What is a conflict personality in psychology

The conflict nature of a personality is understood as its integral property, reflecting the frequency of entering into interpersonal disagreements. With high levels of conflict, the individual becomes a constant initiator of tense relationships with others, regardless of whether this is preceded by problematic situations. Psychologists are sure that without conflicts the development of a person and personality is impossible. Each of us develops a huge number of mistakes, ideas, shortcomings, aspirations, and behavior patterns throughout our lives. As a result, in order to be in relative harmony with others, it is worth learning to come to a compromise within yourself and on the basis of interpersonal relationships.

Personality and conflict have always been of interest to scientists. In the middle of the last century, a new discipline arose - conflictology, that is, it is a science that studied the patterns of the origin, development and completion of conflicts. At the end of the 70s, a need arose for conflict management practices and psychological training aimed at teaching behavior in conflict interactions. At this time, the GRID (Gradual and Reciprocal Initiatives to Reduce Tension) technique arose, which is now actively used by politicians in resolving international conflicts.

Experts note that identifying a conflict-prone personality in society is not difficult. Their main feature is that they try to impose their opinion on their interlocutor. Such people are firmly convinced that they are ideal in all respects and are not even aware of their own shortcomings.

It is difficult for ordinary people to find a common language with such interlocutors, so they strive to find a way out and reach a compromise. It is easier for a person in conflict to endure a state of confrontation, since he has a reduced level of sensitivity.

Conflict-prone people, as a rule, are very cowardly and do not get into fights

Important! A person with conflict is in an extremely tense state if the atmosphere in the team is comfortable. When solving a particular problem, he often resorts to intimidation, sometimes even violence.

People with conflict are difficult interlocutors to communicate with, constantly looking for support in society, and approve of conflict situations. L. Grebennikov and E. Romanova give the following characteristics to such people:

• Deviant behavior. It is possessed by a person who loves conflicts and behaves in a group in a completely different way from what is customary in a particular sociocultural environment.
• Conflict. This quality is typical for people with poor health. Analysis of statistical data showed that children and adolescents with deviant behavior most often suffer from vegetative-vascular pathologies. It should also be noted that an increased level of conflict is typical for patients with neuroses and psychopathy.

Conflict-free personality type

When does a person become conflicted?

If you don’t spread the porridge on the plate, then you can say that a person becomes a conflict when he excessively accumulates a feeling of dissatisfaction within himself.
In the form of various dissatisfaction - resentment, annoyance, anger...

For example, dissatisfaction with your husband (wife), child, boss...

Or resentment at having to save money all my life and live within restrictions.

This could also be a real feeling of dissatisfaction, for example, from work, life, etc.

Without being able to or not knowing how to quickly free oneself from such emotions, the process of accumulation of negative states within a person inevitably begins.

And it is they who begin to provoke internal conflict .

A conflict in which he begins to conflict with himself and here, to be honest, is not up to success in life.

Strategy - just to survive in these conditions, is the main thing!

Therefore, let's take a closer look at this phenomenon in people's lives and answer the questions

- How does he (the person) do this?

— How does he become a man of conflict?

On the one hand, everything looks very simple.

Eternal self-doubt does not allow you to manifest yourself in this world as you would like.

All kinds of restrictions keep a person on a chain and do not allow him to be free.

However, by his nature he was, is and remains a freedom-loving creature.

But life is a very interesting thing and different times happen in it.

For example. When you want to tell someone something - NO! I won't do this!

Or to my husband that he is a radish and a Hamburg rooster!

But it’s scary, what if he beats me, and even sends me to “BAM” or even divorces me.

Or tell an adult child everything you think about him.

But fear freezes the tongue and the mind begins to tell different stories.

What if he (the child) gets very upset with me and leaves home. Or he will completely abandon me as a parent. And what will people say or what will I do in my old age?

As a result, my mouth is shut, but inside there is a contradiction between - I want to do it and I can’t afford it.

Here is the traditional scenario of a person who becomes a person of conflict .

So, step by step, the feeling of dissatisfaction with life and with oneself increases, and such a subject gradually turns into a complete sufferer and a loser in life.

And how can such a person believe in himself, in his strengths and in the fact that he can be successful anywhere?

On the other hand, the whole complexity of this issue lies in the fact that the gradually formed habit of behavior thus begins to rule the roost.

Once again, it seems that he has already expressed his indignation, but this lady (habit) takes power into her own hands, and again there is an internal stopper, action out of habit and, as a result, an eternally unresolvable conflict.

So, how should everything be?

What to do to get out of the state of internal conflict?

Honestly, there are as many recipes for solving this problem as there are people on earth.

But this option is possible provided that a person is in contact with himself. He hears the signals of his body, quickly reacts to them and creates his own unique recipe for solving internal conflict .

In the meantime, not many people have such skills.

Therefore, we have to give out a general universal recipe that can suit everyone.

My recipe - if you are bothered by a specific person, some situation, or even life, and negative emotions begin to tear your soul apart -

— Start reading a prayer (any kind) right away.

- Ask for forgiveness - from your loved one, the offender.

- Recognize the experience.

- Learn the lessons (understand what they taught you).

- Start singing a song, taking energy from the negative emotion.

- Form a positive image of the future that you would like to see in the future.

- And be here and now.

I think that’s enough food for thought for today.

So bye and see you again - Penyaicheva Lyubov.

Main types of conflicting personalities

Types of human temperament and their brief characteristics

Frequent physical and psycho-emotional stress can lead to the development of stress. This negatively affects a person’s overall well-being, appearance, mood and health. Experts identify 5 main types of conflicting personalities.

Rigid

Due to high self-esteem and touchiness, they often neglect the opinions and interests of others, which leads to serious conflict situations. People with a rigid type are unceremonious, self-centered, straightforward, rude, and have an inflated sense of justice. In this regard, they often have serious conflict situations. They regard praise as a given, while at the same time they perceive any criticism as an insult.

Ultra-precise

They are very demanding of themselves and the people around them, too suspicious, distrustful, overly anxious and picky about little things. Outwardly, they are very balanced, and practically do not show a palette of emotions. Real relationships in the group are well assessed. Sometimes they stop communicating with friends because they think that they once offended them. As a result, diseases arise: migraines, dizziness, insomnia, increased nervousness.

Ungovernable

Characterized by excessive impulsiveness and lack of self-control skills. Aggressive, defiant behavior. People do not tolerate criticism and are capable of blaming others for their failures. It is extremely difficult to implement your plans with an uncontrollable personality type.

Conflict-free

People with a conflict-free personality find it difficult to express their opinion, they have low self-esteem, they are afraid of any disputes and confrontations, they do not have sufficient willpower, they do not analyze their own actions, as a result of which they often cause aggression, misunderstanding and irritation in others.

If you are interested in conflicting personality types, thematic drawings can be found in the textbook, specialized literature or on websites

Demonstrative

Representatives of this personality type always want to be the very first in everything, they love to constantly be in the center of attention. They are quite emotional, so they often initiate disputes and confrontations, rarely plan their activities, and quickly adapt to any living conditions.

Important! The level of aspirations influences the definition of an ideal long-term goal and the desired level of self-esteem of an individual. High self-esteem usually causes a negative reaction from others, while low self-esteem results in increased anxiety, lack of self-confidence, avoidance of responsibility, etc.

Principles of behavior in conflict

Intrapersonal conflict in psychology - types, causes and consequences

The basic rules of behavior in conflicts consist of 6 strategies:

• Compliance. This is the most common method of preventing an argument. Participants in misunderstandings avoid a conflict situation by letting everything take its course or pretending that nothing happened.
• Adaptation. In this case, one side of the disagreement tries to adjust to the other. That is, if the interlocutor has his own point of view, but he does not voice it, because he is afraid of ruining the relationship or being misunderstood.
• Rivalry. The subjects of the conflict take active positions and try to prove their opinion to the opponent.
• Compromise. This is a solution that is acceptable to both conflicting parties, since it satisfies their interests to one degree or another.
• Cooperation. In this case, the parties find a method that satisfies the goals of both parties. For example, achieving the goals of one of the parties to the conflict will help the other to realize his plans, so he provides assistance to the opponent.
• Ignoring. This type of behavior suggests that a person does not want to enter into conflict, but by avoiding it, he only aggravates an already difficult situation. After all, the main essence of solving a problem is to eliminate the root cause of its occurrence, and without cooperation between the two parties this is almost impossible to do.

Conflict situations are a real devourer of positive emotions, which bring disappointment and often become the cause of apathy.

Note. Practice shows that it is not worth interfering in someone’s dispute, since trying to resolve someone else’s conflict can only aggravate it.

Topic 3. Is it possible to be a non-conflict person?

A conflict is a clash of interests when people cannot agree on something. There may be conflicts in our lives, but we must strive to avoid them by solving problems in a civilized manner. I think it’s possible to be a non-conflict person.

People with conflicts often quarrel, sometimes over trifles, are constantly dissatisfied with something, they are always irritated by everything, at any moment they are ready to argue, proving that they are right, regardless of the opinions of others. A non-conflict person tries to understand the other. If he does not agree with him, then he calmly proves his point of view, without shouting.

I think that people conflict when they cannot prove their position and do not accept the opinion of another. These are often selfish, narcissistic people.

You need to develop self-control, the ability to hear others and understand them. A non-conflict person is always confident that he is right, so he does not need to prove it with a shout. In addition, he is simply a cultured, educated, self-respecting person.

4

Dialogue.

Please provide complete answers to questions asked by your interlocutor.

Answer:

Correct answer

Sample answer.

1. I think that children are interested in robotics because it is very interesting and exciting, because boys always like any technology, and robotics is something new. Besides, robots are the future. They began to be used in literally all areas of life. Perhaps someone wants to connect their life with their creation and use.

2. I am sure that there will be an expansion in the possibilities of using robots, since their use has great prospects. After all, a robot cannot get tired like a human; it can be used in inaccessible and dangerous places, such as in the rubble of an earthquake or even on another planet.

3. Like the use of any technology, the use of robots is fraught with both positive and negative aspects. The advantages are that its use greatly facilitates household chores, allows you to perform the most complex operations, increases labor productivity and much more. However, robots that fall into the hands of evil, power-hungry people can be programmed to destroy living things. It is necessary to be responsible for the invention and use of robotics.

4

Answer:

Correct answer

Sample answer.

Subbotniks began to be held in our country during the USSR period. And today this good tradition continues when people, in their free time from work and study, clean the places where they live, work and study. I think that it is important to participate in cleanup days, because you feel like you are part of the people, the country, and you contribute to making everything around you beautiful, clean and cozy.

Yes I agree. Participation in subbotniks is a manifestation of civic position. We are all citizens of our country, everyone must make an appropriate contribution to establishing order in it.

Of course, before the holidays we need to hold cleanup days. After all, at home, when we welcome guests, prepare for some kind of celebration, we also clean. But even in normal times, if we see that somewhere needs to be put in order, we can also hold a cleanup day. Today the volunteer movement has begun to develop. In our city, there is often a call for citizens to go out and clean some park. A lot of people respond. After all, this is our city. And if everyone cleans it, then life will become more beautiful.

4

Answer:

Correct answer

A dispute is a clarification of the positions of its participants on any issue. Truth is born in dispute. A conflict is a clash of interests, often opposing ones. During a conflict, participants at its first stage do not accept the point of view of the other, sticking only to their own views. Conflict leads to misunderstanding, even hostility.

Any controversial situation can and should not be brought into conflict. To do this, you need to be a tactful, tolerant person, listen carefully to the arguments of others, and clearly state your evidence against them if you do not agree. Avoiding conflict is characteristic of cultured, self-confident people.

It is very important to get out of the conflict correctly (either accept the position of the other, realizing that he is right; or skillfully prove your position by convincing the interlocutor; or resort to compromise, that is, come to mutual concessions). After all, a conflict can lead to hostility, anger, and at the state level, to a clash of social groups and even to a global conflict. Only peaceful resolution of issues is a civilized way of resolving conflict situations.

Typology of conflicts and brief characteristics

Crisis of 7 years in a child - causes, characteristics and features

Currently, there are many ways to structure conflicts, but so far scientists have not developed a single, unified classification that would include comprehensive factors and could be applied in any area.

Based on the number of participants, experts distinguish 4 types of conflict:

• Intrapersonal.
• Conflict between personalities.
• Intergroup.
• Conflict between the individual and the group.

By duration:

• Fast flowing.
• Sluggish.
• Short term.
• Long.

For reasons of appearance:

• Ideological.
• Family and household.
• Economic.
• Socio-psychological.

In conclusion, it can be noted that any conflict situation can be resolved through negotiations and reaching a compromise, a common denominator that reduces the dispute to “no.” Any type of conflict can be resolved in this way.