The first sentence. "You always do the wrong thing..."
You wash the dishes wrong, you talk to the plumber wrong, you dress wrong, you don’t dress right... The list goes on and on.
Danger. The danger of such speech patterns is not even that they mask the accumulated irritation against the spouse. With the word “always” you not only erase all his achievements in the past, but also do not admit that he can do something properly in the future. Thus, you not only humiliate him, but also do not leave him the opportunity to improve. Then the average man, and even with considerable experience of living together, has a question: is it worth trying? If for so many years I have not done anything that she would like, if in the future she will perceive everything exactly the same, if she does not value me a penny - do I need to continue this further? He doesn’t realize that you added the word “always” only for expression, that sometimes a woman just needs to let off steam: men take words literally, and sometimes it’s difficult for them to grasp the subtexts. Your “always” may be replaced by his “never” - is this what you want?
His conclusion. You need to try to achieve better results with another woman, nothing will work with this one.
"Don't worry! Everything is bullshit, the main thing is health! Why are you making a fuss?! Are you a man or where?!”
Saying this when a man feels bad (and he also sometimes feels bad) is a bad idea. But many girls think that “he’s a man” and this is not normal, that he is afraid and worried.
He has problems, so what? Let him harness himself and go into battle! There's nothing to worry about! Not a single man will last long next to such a woman: he will either leave her or suffer a heart attack.
Phrase two. “And I told you that this would happen...”
When you invested money in your friend's business, when you hoped that the car wouldn't break down, when you went somewhere you weren't invited, when you didn't move from the couch to fix something...
Danger. Perhaps you warned him of impending troubles. Maybe it just seemed to you, a premonition arose, but you remained silent. Or maybe that wasn’t the case - you just want to shift the responsibility for what is happening onto your other half. And this is a mistake. Not only do most modern men really dislike being held accountable for their words and actions, but the message that their wife has surpassed them in “knowledge of life” can simply infuriate them. It is unlikely that a stream of insults or quiet hatred, or even a malicious reminder of your mistakes, is what you are looking for.
His conclusion. She doesn’t appreciate me at all, and even turns up her nose. It's high time to put it in its place.
About money, work and hobbies
Career plays an important role for most men. Even more important than family relationships, and we must come to terms with this. But there are also problems in the opposite situation, when a representative of the stronger sex does not show sufficient zeal in building a career and moving up the career ladder. Usually women say:
- I'm fed up with your hobbies. There is nothing more offensive than criticism of a person's true hobbies. And it doesn’t even matter whether it’s a man or a woman. Monotonous repetition of this kind of negativity will lead to nothing but scandals;
- When do you go to work? Even if you really need to know when your significant other goes to work, you need to ask in a more careful, loving way. Such a direct question will make a man think that for you he is just a way to generate income, which you want to get rid of faster;
- We can't afford this. If a man wants to buy an expensive item, most likely he has a plan to repair the gap in his budget. Such words sound offensive, so you should not say them. Especially if a young man wants to give you a nice gift.
Phrase three. "If I had married someone else..."
For the one who is richer, luckier, looks younger, loves me more, has his own villa or a better car, as well as an understanding, inconspicuous mother or talented, obedient children, just for Vasya from the next door, who took me on a bicycle as a child...
Danger. Your mistake is that a man is a creature subject not to emotions, but to actions. In addition, a creature that usually has an almost pathological, from a woman’s point of view, sense of property, which includes the wife. You simply decided in this way to express slight disappointment in your marriage, having seen through the window in the morning how Vasya drove past in a brand new car, and he will decide that you had a date with him the night before. Perhaps a slight outbreak of jealousy can revive a marital relationship, but it is quite difficult to regulate this fire.
His conclusion. We need to keep track of where she goes, who calls her, why she began to paint her lips differently, and bring this scoundrel to light.
About love and bed
Love and feelings for a male person are no less important topics than his inner world. The fact is that a man's ego can be greatly shaken if he is embarrassed to speak out about it. A woman should not say one of the following three phrases if she does not want to lose the trust and sympathy of her significant other:
- How many girls have you had? Such senseless jealousy over past relationships causes mixed feelings in men. On the one hand, they want to seem in demand. On the other hand, they do not want to upset their current partner. This may lead to an unpleasant conversation or scandal;
- Size is not the main thing. Such statements spread sexual complexes. In addition, comparisons can cause jealousy in men. They often wind themselves up about the woman’s ex-partners, potential infidelities with past lovers;
- When is our wedding? For men, marriage is rarely a dream. This is rather a responsible decision that a representative of the stronger sex makes after a long time. There is no need to rush him and demand a magnificent ceremony just for your own selfish reasons.
Phrase four. “As a man, you stand a little…”
Danger. It is enough to say this literally once to destroy everything tender and passionate that was between you. One way or another, a man’s relationship with a woman is based primarily on sex.
American psychologists asked their clients to prioritize what they valued in marriage. It turned out that for men, 76% of the value of marriage is intimate relationships, the rest goes to children, comfort in the home, delicious food and elements of prestige that women pay so much attention to. A sharp decrease in sexual “appraisal” in the eyes of a wife can have only one consequence: a decrease in erection and all the ensuing consequences.
His conclusion. I have problems with her in bed, maybe I should try somewhere else?
Phrases that can scare you away
You cannot say the following to men during a conversation or showdown:
- “the other day I told my friends what you’re like in bed, they laughed so much”;
- “look at neighbor Dimka, this is a man! He’s just great, and you?”;
- “just don’t think that you’re my last, I have my whole life ahead of me and I’ll have many more like you”;
- “Where did you do the money that I gave you this morning?”;
- “When do we go to the registry office? I’m not your girl to wait a long time for you to ask me to marry”;
- “I’m shocked by your mother, she cooks so disgustingly”;
- “by the way, I bewitched you, so you won’t go anywhere”;
- “I don’t understand why I just married you”;
- “Who will look at you? Who needs you?";
- “I thought you earned more.”
Phrase five. "You are just like your father..."
Mother, brother, sister...
Danger. Family ties, which usually do not manifest themselves too much in modern family life, are nevertheless some kind of psychological dominants of the individual. A person may not remember how his father lives, but the knowledge that he exists and that everything is fine with him is the strongest reason to feel confident in the world. By condemning his blood relatives, you once again unite him with them, and not with yourself, as you should in a harmonious family relationship. Thus, you give your husband a reason to feel hostility towards you as a foreign element. In addition, you shake the foundations of his “worldview”: if he does not love his father, then you are trying to lower his self-esteem, but if he does, then your hostile attitude towards his father or mother will only destroy your relationship, since they and he are a single whole.
His conclusion. She doesn’t love our family - where was I looking when I got married?!
Prohibited move: words you should not say to your partner
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With the help of statements, a woman often tries to manipulate a man and control his actions. However, in this case, one should not be surprised if the tirade meets with decisive resistance.
Top antiphrases:
"We need to have a serious conversation"
There is no more annoying phrase than this. The man begins to feverishly remember where he stumbled. But the conversation could be about buying new furniture or the child’s progress at school. Inappropriate intrigue adds gray hair to a man.
“Again, you didn’t notice that I changed my hairstyle.”
Men really don’t notice that their partner has a new manicure or her curls are 5 centimeters shorter, because they evaluate the entire image. Yes, they see that the woman has begun to look different, but they are not able to understand what exactly has changed. They simply cannot keep track of such little things.
“And I told you!”
No one wants to admit they are wrong, especially not a man. A woman who demonstrates her superiority in such a dismissive manner only upsets her partner.
"Do you love me?"
A seemingly harmless question can be disconcerting. It is easier for a man to express affection through actions than to eloquently talk about his feelings.
“Where have you been?”
Men have their own things to do: unplanned meetings, meetings with friends. And by uttering such a phrase, a woman is encroaching on the most sacred thing - male freedom. If you really want to know where your lover was, you can simply ask how your day went.
"That's not how you kiss"
This remark can be continued by saying that in intimate terms the partner is so-so. Such statements hit hard on one’s self-esteem. If a man is bad in bed, maybe you shouldn't have had an affair with him in the first place.
"You're like a kid"
It is important here with what intonation it is said. After all, you can say it bluntly, noting the spontaneity and cheerfulness of your partner. But if the guy’s helplessness is noted, the phrase becomes destructive.
“But my friend’s husband...”
Men have a hard time when they are compared to others. Especially if the comparison is not in their favor.
“Your mother tried to teach me life again”
Speaking negatively about family members can seriously undermine relationships. Especially if you hurt your partner’s mother.
"You are not a man"
This is a very offensive phrase; no one wants to hear something like that addressed to them. It is not surprising if a man, constantly accused of being unmanly, wants to find someone who will see him as a hero.
While showing sensitivity to men's feelings, you should not forget about yourself. If insults and caustic phrases are the norm in the family, you should think about seriously working on your relationship. You can express dissatisfaction in the correct form. But we will have to learn this together.
- Author: qup
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Phrase six. “With another wife you would have long ago...”
He ended up in poverty, in the hospital, drank himself to death, got fat, started hanging around with women, did not achieve success in his career...
Danger. You shouldn’t give him a reason to imagine himself with another woman. Surely there are some minor inconsistencies in your common life, some unnoticeable roughnesses, which with such a turn of thoughts will become more noticeable, because the “other” does not have them (maybe because he simply does not know her well): with In fact, he would look better to Lena on the street, all the men would be jealous, Dasha is a better cook, and Marina, it seems, never grumbles at her husband. Well, if we talk about bed...
His conclusion. With another wife? I wonder how it is?
Phrase seven. “Your son (daughter) inherited all the shortcomings from you...”
You also can’t get order in the room from him, he is also rude and wastes money, he has the same bow legs or slow mind...
Danger. It seems that after all, it was you who gave birth to the child, and not he, although not without his participation? And did they do more parenting than a man? Why did it happen that you are unhappy with the result? So you failed? But, most likely, it’s not the child at all - your spouse is annoying you, and this manifests itself in such a sophisticated way. It is he who you remind him of how you don’t like (and never liked) this or that trait in him. And, rest assured, he will accept this message. In addition, many fathers tend to perceive their sons as their continuation, like themselves in their youth. And then those shortcomings that you spend your ardor criticizing are simply touching and attractive to him.
As for daughters, they are given the role of an improved version of a wife if a man has any complaints about his family life. And in this case, criticism of a “defenseless” young woman can only cause noble rage and a desire to protect her. One way or another, you are again repeating the same mistake as with his relatives: solidarity occurs with them, not with you, and you remain within the family circle. It is very dangerous.
His conclusion. She never loved me and does not love my children, she is a stranger to us.
What phrases should you not say to the man you love? Psychologists give the answer
It turns out that there are many phrases that can kill love. Women are especially intemperate with their tongues. Many representatives of the fair sex say such “forbidden” words to their chosen ones, without even realizing the destructive power they have.
What are these phrases that can kill a man’s love and what is the best way to replace them in order to save the relationship? Psychologists give the answer.
Oddly enough, in the list of phrases that you cannot say to your lover, there are also those that at first glance seem completely harmless. Many of them theoretically cannot offend or humiliate their partner. However, this may seem so only at first glance. In reality, their impact on a couple's relationship is detrimental.
Many ladies are so afraid of being dependent on their chosen one that they often tell him: . ” However, such a demonstration of her own independence from a man does not bode well for a woman.
Photo: Depositphotos
If she refuses any of his offers to help and says: “I can do this myself,” she accustoms her lover to the fact that nothing is required of him. In such a situation, the partner relaxes and allows his other half to take on all the household chores and chores. He no longer participates in the life of the family and does not make important decisions. His lifelong friend does everything for him and for herself.
As a result, the partner ceases to see her as a woman - a creature in need of his support, protection and care. This negatively affects his feelings for his chosen one. A woman also notices the negative consequences of her own wrong behavior with her loved one. Over time, she begins to feel irritated, looking at her spineless slacker husband.
Psychologists advise not to use the expression “I’ll do it myself” when communicating with the chosen one of your heart. He should say: “I am so pleased when you help me.” By this, the girl motivates her partner to help her, to take more responsibility for what is happening in family life, shows that she values him and sees in him a support and a strong male shoulder.
You cannot say to your chosen one the phrases “And your brother...” or “But my ex...” , comparing him with other men. When a girl compares her partner with other representatives of the stronger sex, she causes him moral trauma. Thinking that in this way they can motivate their loved one to become better, many women make a mistake. As a result, they get the opposite effect. The partner not only improves to please his beloved, but also loses trust in her.
Photo: Depositphotos
Psychologists recommend that ladies focus on the strengths of their chosen one and start praising him. This is the best motivation for a man.
Under no circumstances should you tell your partner: “You won’t succeed . With this phrase, a woman destroys his faith in himself, deprives the chosen one of ambitions and hopes for the best. A man will not stay long with someone who makes him feel like a loser.
Psychologists advise replacing this saying with praise. The beloved should often say the following words: “You’re doing great!”, “I believe in you!”, “You can do anything!”
Another phrase that kills a man’s love for a woman is “You never do...” . Usually ladies in this way show their partner their resentment and dissatisfaction with his behavior. They say: “You never give me flowers,” “You never meet me after work,” etc. However, a man does not change for the better when he hears such sayings. For him, this is simply a statement of fact.
In order for a man to start helping his other half and start giving her pleasant gifts, the dissatisfied grumbling accompanied by the words “you never do...” should be replaced with another phrase: “I would be so glad to receive a bouquet from you as a gift,” etc. . P.
Most men get nervous when the woman they love says, “I told you so . By this she once again reminds the chosen one of the mistake he made. For the chosen one, what she does at this moment is tantamount to pouring salt into the wound.
Photo: Depositphotos
Psychologists recommend that ladies not point out their mistake to their partner, but tactfully remain silent. He himself knows that he was wrong. In this case, the phrase “I’m very sorry” would be appropriate. An intelligent woman who wants to preserve the love in a couple and the trust of her chosen one should limit herself to this.
By showing wisdom and using the tips of psychologists, you can find a common language with your loved one and maintain a warm relationship with him for many years.
Tags: couple relationships, loved one, love, family life, save relationships, find a common language
