Technique and technique of active listening in psychology

In the psychology of communication, it is important for a person to realize his own importance - when they are interested in him, listen attentively, and want to understand. The interaction of people in society is based on politeness and the basics of etiquette.

One of the new trends in communication skills is active listening technology. Its essence lies in a friendly attitude towards the interlocutor, the desire to understand him. Interest is the main technique of active listening. Knowledge of technology will help you gain the trust of your interlocutor and obtain detailed information from him.

When communicating with children, active listening will allow you to better understand the child’s fears and experiences. He will learn to overcome his problems on his own. Parents and children will become more attentive and tolerant of each other. This will create harmonious relationships in the family.

Listening skills

During communication, it is important not only to speak expressively and competently, but also to be able to listen to the interlocutor. This is of great importance for mutual understanding with your counterpart. To be able to listen means to perceive the flow of information from the narrator. A person’s level of culture will allow him to politely listen to his interlocutor and tactfully refrain from harsh statements and disdainful facial expressions.

The ability to listen depends on personality type, intelligence, communication culture, age, gender. Scientists have proven that women are emotional during listening, inattentive, and often interrupt the interlocutor with their own stories. Men, on the other hand, are able to listen to information to the end, mentally looking for ways to solve it.

Many professions involve listening skills. These are sellers, hairdressers, massage therapists, psychologists, doctors, teachers, administrators, consultants. Efficiency and a culture of listening are important for business communication. There are special techniques that facilitate the perception of information. Active listening will help support your interlocutor and show the significance of his story.

The concept of listening in communication

For successful interaction, you need not only to master speech skills, but also to be able to listen.
Listening and speaking are two significant competencies in verbal communication.

Definition 1

Listening is the process of concentrated perception of visual and auditory stimuli and attributing meaning to them. Active listening involves focusing, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding.

Concentration is the process of perceptually selecting and focusing attention on specific stimuli from the vast array of sensory inputs that reach our senses.

Understanding is a clear decoding of information that comes from the outside, by assigning the correct meaning to it, that is, comprehending it in the same conceptual categories.

Analysis or critical listening is the process of determining how true and truthful the information that has been heard is considered.

Responsiveness implies the corresponding reaction of the listener at the non-verbal and verbal levels of communication.

Reacting at an empathic level gives people information about themselves, their behavior, approves, supports, and reassures.

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If hearing is a physical process, which is determined by the action of sound waves on the eardrum, and takes place without much mental effort, then listening (effective listening) is a complex process of perception, comprehension, understanding, structuring and memorizing incoming information, in which the whole person takes part person.

Note 1

Listening is considered a fundamental skill that affects the quality of relationships in daily communication, effective mutual understanding and interaction. At the same time, many people actually don't know how to listen.

People's listening skills are developed differently. Research in this area shows that on average the time we communicate with others is distributed as follows: about 42-53% of the time we listen to other people, 16-32% we speak ourselves, 15-17% we receive information by reading, 9-14% - we write. As you can see from the above figures, the ability to listen, as a method of perceiving information, is used in communication much more often than the ability to write and read combined, which means that mastering such a skill is necessary for every person.

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Note 2

Most people rate their listening skills at 70-80%. Yet research shows that many people actually have a listening success rate of only 25%, meaning three-quarters of the messages that are heard are lost.

The following types of listening can be distinguished: passive listening, active listening, empathic listening, critical listening.

Types of hearing

Psychologists and communication researchers distinguish 4 types of listening.

Empathic listening. This is the ability to read the feelings and emotions of the speaker. The ability to imagine yourself in the place of your interlocutor and empathize with him. Empathic listening is effective if the counterpart or his information evokes positive emotions.

Critical listening. This is a targeted analysis of the information received. Her critical perception, understanding. This kind of listening is effective for making responsible decisions. It allows you to weigh the pros and cons, agree or disagree with the interlocutor.

Passive (non-reflective) listening. This type is used when the interlocutor needs to speak out. It implies minimal interference in the counterpart’s monologue.

Active (reflective) listening. This is the maximum establishment of feedback with the interlocutor. Active listening helps to win over your interlocutor. Allows you to influence his point of view. The technique of active listening demonstrates basic politeness and attention to the words of the interlocutor.

Among the negotiation techniques, it is customary to highlight active listening techniques . Active listening is necessary to:

demonstrate attention to the interlocutor, understanding the content of what he said;
check the correct understanding of what was said;
help the speaker express his thoughts.

So, here are 8 active listening techniques:

Active listening technique 1. Encouragement, approval, activation of the interlocutor.

Nodding your head in time with your speech, making eye contact.

Uh-huh... yeah... yeah...
This is interesting…
It's clear…

Active listening technique 2. Clarification - request additional, more precise explanations.

A clarifying question is asked if there are ambiguous, significant, or incomprehensible points:

Could you repeat...
I apparently misunderstood. Did you mean to say that...
Please, explain to me more precisely...
What did you mean…
What do you understand...

Active listening technique 3. Repetition - verbatim repetition of the interlocutor’s words.

Active listening technique 4. Retelling - repeating the speaker’s thoughts in your own words:

How do I understand you...
Do you think that...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I realized that...
In other words…
Did I understand you correctly - you said that...?

Repeat with a questioning intonation:

Do you think that...
So we can agree that...
That is…

Active listening technique 5. Development of the interlocutor’s thoughts - pronouncing the subtext of the statement, finding the true meaning of the statement.

Active listening technique 6. Reflecting the feelings of the interlocutor - a statement about how I understood the feelings of the other:

It seems to me that you feel a little...;
You are apparently worried...;
Outwardly, it seems that you are very (very)...;
I got the impression...
This sounds like you're very excited!

Active listening technique 7. Sharing feelings, empathy.

If I were you, I would feel the same way...
Yes, I understand your emotions...
I am also confident about this...

Active listening technique 8. Generalization, results (summary).

So basically what you said...
In our conversation we came to the conclusion that...
To summarize what has been said...
From everything I've heard...

TECHNIQUES THAT REDUCE THE EFFECTIVENESS OF CONVERSATIONS WITH CLIENTS:

1. Questioning - addressing numerous questions to the interlocutor (the origin of which is unclear to him), based on his understanding of the situation.

2. Ignoring - lack of interest in the interlocutor:

interruption;
answering a question with a question;
monologue.

What other active listening techniques do you know?

What else prevents the establishment of good contact in negotiations?

What is active listening?

Active listening is the semantic perception of information. This communication skill allows you to concentrate on the conversation, clarify details, and ask again. With the help of this technology, the interlocutor feels the need for his information and the interest of others in it.

The ability to conduct a conversation, perceive and understand the words of the speaker is possible only with a friendly attitude. Active listening, its techniques and techniques contribute to the development of trusting relationships between interlocutors. This is a professional skill and an entire art that can take years to master.

The inability to establish dialogue and people’s alienation make the technology of active listening in demand. This process consists of several stages.

Interference with active listening

While listening, a person faces certain difficulties that interfere with the perception of information.

Internal interference is your own thoughts and experiences. They interfere with perception, forcing you to concentrate on one thought or a whole set of thoughts. A dreamy or sleepy state also interferes with active listening.

External interference is irritants that cause one to be distracted from the conversation. This may be the inability of the interlocutor to convey information (incoherence and slurred speech, its pace and volume), strangers or distracting noises (telephone, repair work, sounds of transport).

Active listening. Its types and techniques

The active listening technique is conventionally divided into 2 types: male and female.

The male form of active listening relates more to business communication skills. What is important here is the correct presentation of information, its understanding and analysis. Therefore, in active listening of the male species, clarifying questions are most often heard: “where”, “how much”, “when”, “for what”, “how”.

The female form of active listening is focused on feelings and emotions. The accuracy of the information is not so important here as the attitude towards it or the interlocutor. This allows you to step into your counterpart’s shoes and feel his mood and experiences.

During communication, you should pay attention to the words of your interlocutor and try to understand him. This will allow you to correctly select the appropriate active listening techniques. These include encouragement, repetition, reflection, generalization. They will help to better understand the narrator and promote sympathy between the interlocutors.

Active Listening Technique: Basic Principles

No matter how eloquent the speaker may be, we can only get the most from the information presented if we learn to listen correctly. This is precisely the goal of active listening. The main factors contributing to its development:

Accepting the interlocutor as he is. It represents careful control of emotions and subjective assessments, which can greatly interfere with understanding what is heard.
Make eye contact at eye level. It consists of resisting the temptation to look at foreign objects or the clothes of the interlocutor. It's better to look into your eyes.
Asking questions. It represents an appropriate clarification of meaning, serving as confirmation of sincere interest in the subject of conversation.

The technique of active listening is used in psychology. Psychologists describe it as the perception of information “with the whole body.” Active listening has been scientifically proven to help us better understand people's situations. When communicating with clients, specialists use techniques for participating in dialogue that help more accurately determine their condition. Deep immersion, establishing trust, and analyzing the patient’s condition provide effective assistance. These points explain the second name for active listening - empathic.

Active Listening Techniques

The main techniques of active listening are the desire to grasp the essence of the interlocutor’s speech and, if possible, help him. Mastery of these methods is achieved through constant training. Active listening techniques include:

- encouragement. It lies in interest, an expressed desire to listen to the interlocutor. At this stage, goodwill and the absence of evaluative opinions are important;

- repetition. It consists of clarifying questions and repetition of the speaker’s phrases. Verbal concentration on the main points of the conversation;

- reflection. It lies in understanding the emotions of the interlocutor. At this stage, you can copy the facial expressions or gestures of your interlocutor in moderate doses, thus expressing interest and complete mutual understanding;

- generalization. It consists of summing up the interlocutor’s speech. This is concentration on the main idea of everything said and the selection of a compromise.

Active listening in sales

The purpose of active listening in sales is to establish trust between the client and the company.

The customer must be sure that his opinion is important for the company and will definitely be heard and taken into account

Using active listening techniques, you can control the emotional background of the dialogue without putting pressure on the interlocutor or devaluing his comments and objections.

Active listening helps you remember information better and encourages your interlocutor to more actively express their opinions and emotions. It is believed that active listening was invented to get the client to talk.

In order for the interlocutor to begin to talk about his needs during active listening, it is necessary to ask him open questions, as well as encourage his statements in every possible way through facial expressions, speech, and gestures.

When listening, it is important to be able to distinguish facts from the storyteller's interpretations. Example: in his previous company, the headlight on his car was broken during repairs, they admit it, but do not want to change it (fact)

There are bad people working in that company (interpretation)

Example: in a previous company, the headlight on his car was broken during repairs, they admit it, but do not want to change it (fact). There are bad people working in that company (interpretation).

It is worth emphasizing the importance of this point. If you are not able to uncritically examine all statements, you will not be able to objectively understand the situation

It’s not a fact that the company actually employs bad people; perhaps there were other significant reasons for the refusal of service.

Examples of active listening

With regular use, it is easy to remember the basic techniques of active listening. Examples for training include encouraging and clarifying questions, sympathetic assent and head nodding.

Encouraging your interlocutor allows you to tune in to the conversation. Non-verbal methods (smile, nod, friendly look) can be used here. In addition to them - verbal ones. These are the words “uh-huh”, “please continue”, “I’m listening to you carefully”, “how interesting”.

Repetition is best formulated in the form of a question. Then it will be easier for the interlocutor to point out the mistake and voice his own version of the phrase. These are the questions “do I understand you correctly?”, “is this what you wanted to say?”, “in other words...”.

Reflection is the ability to understand what is difficult to convey in words. The subtext can be read in facial expressions, voice modulation, increased or decreased intonation. These are the words “you are worried”, “you feel that...”, “it seems to you that...”.

Generalizing or resolving a problem comes up several times during a conversation. An experienced interlocutor will definitely summarize, thereby making it clear that he listened carefully to the narrator and understood his main idea. These are the words “I think I understand what you wanted to say...”, “it seems that the most important thing here...”, “if I understand correctly, you experienced...”, “in general, you decided that...”.

Active Listening Questions

During a conversation, you should not be distracted, but you should try to understand the essence of the interlocutor’s speech. Find out what he wants to say and why. It is necessary to ask clarifying questions in a timely manner. They will help you understand your interlocutor faster.

Open questions require a detailed answer. The more there are, the more voluminous the information received will become. These are the questions “how”, “in what way”, “how much”, “why”, “why”.

Closed questions require a short, definitive “yes” or “no” answer. They should not be overused - they create an atmosphere of interrogation. They are best used at the end of a conversation to find out the state of the interlocutor. Did you manage to come to an agreement with him and come to one decision?

Alternative questions consist of two parts. The first part is an open question. The second part – two or more answer options. The interlocutor is given the opportunity to choose the desired option.

Errors in the application of technology

Active listening techniques in psychology contribute to the full building of relationships in society. Therefore, obvious mistakes in communication should be avoided.

Distraction from the conversation, reaction to external stimuli, one’s own thoughts.
Making up answers or arguments contributes to losing the essence of the conversation.
Instructions, criticism and moralization (“I told you so…”) will only push the interlocutor to end the conversation.
Parroting or copying the speaker's words creates the illusion of understanding. An astute person will realize that they are not listening.
You cannot interrupt or finish the sentence for your interlocutor. It’s better to let him formulate the thought on his own.
Reduce the conversation to meaningless polemics.
Concentrate attention on yourself, translating all the interlocutor’s words into your own situation (“and it was like that for me...”).

Active listening in communication with a child

In childhood, it is important to know that parents understand the child’s experiences. It is sometimes difficult for him to express in words everything that he feels. Attentive parents should help the child competently explain his condition and clearly talk about the event that happened.

Techniques for actively listening to children are help in voicing feelings and emotions. Parents should not only understand the child, but also learn to empathize with him and support him. This will bring closer and strengthen family relationships. It will teach the child not to be afraid of negative feelings and to cope with them. Will lead to mutual active listening: parents - child, child - parents.

Father and mother should learn the types of listening. Techniques for actively listening to children involve demonstrating. It is necessary to show the child that they want to listen to him and help him.

When talking with a child, you should be at the same level as him, eye to eye. Put everything aside, don’t talk to him from different rooms. Show the importance of dialogue with a friendly look.
Try to combine the meaning of the child’s words with his feelings. This will help you understand the situation. Prefer an affirmative form (not a question) in describing the child’s internal state. “You’re upset because...”, “You’re angry because...”.
Pause so that the child can collect his thoughts and continue the dialogue.
Repeat in your own words the child’s main idea. This way it will become clear to him that his parents heard and understood him.
Do not leave the child alone with his fears, problems, experiences.

Active listening in telesales

This technique in telephone sales has its own characteristics: the manager has fewer tools to support active listening, because he does not see who is on the other side. It is impossible to support the interlocutor with a gesture, look, or facial expression when talking on the phone

Therefore, oratory skills are more important here: you need to speak clearly, clearly, specifically, avoiding complex constructions. It is imperative to let the person speak and not interrupt him

At the beginning of a conversation, you should always support the speaker and agree with his arguments. For example, when talking on the phone, a potential customer may say: “I won’t buy your windows, they are bad, here are some really good windows.”

The mistake many managers make is to argue with the speaker in order to initially put their company in a good light. This should under no circumstances be done. Firstly, this way you claim that the client is wrong. And a good client is always right, otherwise he will not cooperate with you. Secondly, this is the most expected reaction, probably expected by the client himself, and after it he will most likely quickly end the dialogue not in your favor.

Instead of objecting, it is better for the seller to strongly agree with the potential client. And he really does install good windows (most likely he really does) and good people work there (no doubt). And if the customer decides to take the windows there, then this will be a good decision. Then you can tell him about the advantages of your company, but leave the right of choice to the customer.

Tips for a bad listener

It also happens that you should get rid of your interlocutor as quickly as possible. The reasons may be different: from reluctance to communicate with a specific person to reluctance to listen to long monologues. An alternative technology can be created based on active listening techniques. With its help, the interlocutor will feel a reluctance to communicate with him. What concepts do not apply to active listening techniques?

Silence, lack of emotional reaction to words, ignoring the interlocutor.
Constantly answering questions with questions.
Dismissive posture, facial expressions.
Interrupting the interlocutor, moving on to your own personal topics.
During a conversation, be distracted by phone calls and do other things.
Sharply criticize your interlocutor, immediately pointing out his mistakes and miscalculations.

This alternative technique should not be used constantly. People need communication and empathy. Only in rare exceptions should you remember which concepts do not apply to active listening techniques. It is best to politely explain that your counterpart has chosen the wrong time to talk. Try to avoid annoying interlocutors, giving preference to positive people.

Exercises to develop active listening skills

To develop this useful skill, pair training is used. One of the participants plays the role of the listener, and the second - the speaker. Then they change places. On average, the duration of the exercises is 30-45 minutes. During this time, the following stages are implemented:

During the first 5 minutes, one of the interlocutors talks about personal difficulties, indicating the probable reasons for their occurrence. The partner interacts with him using active listening techniques.
A couple of minutes after the first stage are allotted to the speaker’s statements about what specifically in the listener’s behavior helped or hindered him from opening up in the conversation.
After this 5 minutes, the person speaking continues to share his thoughts. Now let’s talk about what character traits help him cope with the mentioned difficulties. His partner's task is to continue to use active listening, taking into account the errors identified in the second stage.
For the next 5 minutes, the listener summarizes what was understood from the previous two stories of the speaking partner. He only nods to indicate agreement with him or vice versa. When incorrect interpretations are identified, the former listener corrects them in such a way that the interlocutor agrees with him.

The end of the first round of lessons comes after the speaker from the pair can accurately formulate what exactly he was understood correctly, and where there was an erroneous interpretation. After this, the partners change roles.

Tips for being a good listener

Basic active listening techniques promote positive interpersonal communication. With their help, the interlocutor will feel attention to his words and experiences. Knowledge of techniques and the ability to use them will create a sense of self-worth in your counterpart, which will help you quickly reach a consensus.

You should not interrupt or interrupt a person. This technique of active listening will allow you to bring the main idea to the end.
After asking a question, be sure to wait for the interlocutor’s answer and not answer for it.
Maintain eye contact and turn to face the speaker.
Establish feedback, ask questions, nod.
You should not immediately refute the information you hear. First, delve into the essence of the conversation, understand the motives of the interlocutor.
Do not give in to the speaker’s aggression. Try to level it out with patience and calmness.