How to get rid of emotional dependence and regain the joys of a serene life

September 8, 2018
Mental disorders
Natalya Tikhomirova

Man is an absolutely social being who cannot live without various social contacts and attachments. It is not for nothing that many philosophers around the world have noted that happiness is not in money, but in the people who surround us. Our sense of self directly depends on the quality of relationships with friends and loved ones. But sometimes a “distortion” begins in this area, and an emotional attachment is formed. It makes you forget about your own interests and completely “dissolve” in someone else. You can read more about this addiction and how you can fight it in this article.

What is emotional dependence

There are many things in human life that are good, but, taken to extremes, can cause great harm. This includes emotional attachment. Initially, this mechanism helps us survive from birth. The first bond is formed between the baby and his mother. The body of an adult and a child tunes into each other, as a result of which the mother can understand the desires of the child and satisfy his needs. Until 2-3 years of age, mother and child are in fusion, and the baby does not perceive himself as a separate person. It is a survival mechanism that allows a defenseless child to grow up in a dangerous world. But after 2-3 years, separation processes begin, and every year the child becomes more and more a separate personality. However, due to a number of reasons, this process may be disrupted.

If in the first year of a child’s life a warm and strong connection was formed between him and his parent, then in his future life, most likely, he will be accompanied by a warm and trusting relationship. But if at this age something went wrong, the child was separated from his mother or the connection was not fully formed, then the baby will be left with unconscious patterns and experiences that will affect all relationships in later life.

Emotional attachment influences the mental structure and determines its stability or instability. If an external or internal threat appears in the life of an adult, this model is activated. It also happens that an adult does not completely separate from his parents, but simply transfers emotional attachment to his partner or friend. In this case, infantilism only harms, not allowing a person to lead a full and autonomous life.

Causes of addiction

One of the most common reasons for dependence in relationships is childhood dislike. It is generally accepted that a child should love his parents. But at the same time, it often happens that mom or dad punish, insult the child, or notice him only when, in their opinion, he deserves attention.

A mother may, for example, send conflicting signals to her child: “I punish you because I love you” or “I criticize and humiliate you, but only so that you become better, because I love you.” A child's instinct is to run to his mother in any situation. She is the most precious and most valuable thing he has. She alone will always protect and help. But if at the same time she insults, humiliates or even beats the child, then he develops a distorted idea of love. Love in his mind will be associated with danger, fear, anxiety, negative emotions and feelings.

Such a child learns to beg for crumbs of love from his mother (or father), and in his head, love looks exactly like this - it is always not enough, and it goes side by side with suffering. The child becomes accustomed to the scenario: “I will suffer a little, suffer, and then my mother will show her love for me. Mom will punish me, insult me, spank me, reject me, but then I will receive the long-awaited hugs.”

And the child, not seeing before his eyes another model of love other than this, begins to think that this is love. This is how addiction is born. A child with such a mother will transfer the love given to him in childhood to love relationships in adulthood. Perhaps he will take on the role of the mother (which is described here), or perhaps he will remain in the role of the child, begging for pitiful grains of love from his partner. It is also likely that he will take both roles with him into adulthood, and will change these two opposite roles with different partners, depending on which role the partner will take on.

Signs

Emotional dependence on a person is quite difficult to recognize in the initial stages. And when a person can no longer imagine himself without another, it seems to him that everything is in order. In this way, psychological defenses are activated that protect the nervous system from unnecessary stress. Therefore, it is doubly important to know the signs of the disease, which will help identify the addiction to the person himself.

You constantly lack attention and communication with a specific person. Even if you spend a lot of time together, when you break up you feel sad and think about him all the time.
You begin to attribute your feelings and desires to someone else. In conversation this is usually expressed as “we want”, “we will go”, etc. This is a clear sign of merging with another person.
All your interests begin to revolve around your loved one or partner. Even in meetings with other people, you constantly discuss his actions, character, words, etc.
Possessive feelings and unreasonable jealousy are a sure sign of emotional dependence on another. After all, others seem to be trying to take away your time that you could spend together. This is why wives often forbid their husbands from seeing their friends and gradually limit their social circle.
Idealization of a partner and refusal to notice obvious shortcomings (for example, alcoholism or squandering).
Complete dependence on the opinion of another person. Many emotionally dependent people can radically change their image to suit the standards of another person. In dependent relationships between children and parents, this usually appears as a need to follow all advice and instructions, trying to present oneself in the best possible light, to the detriment of one's own needs.
Planning of long-term and short-term goals is not carried out without the participation of the latter. At the same time, any change or refusal to carry out the plan is perceived as an attempt to break the existing emotional connection.
Your relationship becomes a burden, but you can’t imagine yourself without it. Due to the pathological nature of dependent relationships, people simply cannot feel happy in them. Usually short periods of joy are followed by long quarrels and squabbles, during which the dependent person feels fear and helplessness.
In the extreme stages of addiction, nothing can bring a person happiness or joy. Only communication with a loved one can dispel the clouds over your head. This is a sure sign that drastic measures need to be taken.

Emotional attachment of a man to a woman

Watch the video “Neurotic relationships, overcoming addiction, relationship addiction - the solution”

Emotional attachment is a state when a man singles out one woman among many others and shares his most secret things with her. To understand the true attitude, you should pay more attention not to words, but to actions . There are certain signs by which you can recognize whether a man has an emotional attachment to a woman.

10 Signs Your Partner Isn't Your Soulmate

Signs of a man's affection for a woman

1. The desire to spend all your free time with her. Even when there are alternative options: communication with friends, hobbies, personal matters.

2. Calls and correspondence. They may also indicate emotional dependence. A man focuses on what is most important, and if he feels the need to always be in touch, it means that the woman is important to him, and he thinks about her.

3. Trying to impress, doing more for her than for others.

4. Getting to know your social circle. If a man decides to introduce a woman to his family and friends, then she is an important part of his life.

5. Shares your weaknesses. You can only tell about this to a really close person whom you trust infinitely.

6. He admires and is proud of his woman and does not hesitate to appear with her in the circle of people who are significant to him.

7. Does not shy away from small quarrels and showdowns. It is really important for him to understand and solve the problem.

8. He is interested in a woman’s opinion in resolving any of his issues.

9. Tries to please the woman’s social circle, realizing that these are people who are important to her.

10. Talking about the future does not make a man uncomfortable, and he does not avoid it.

11. Feels comfortable and relaxed around a woman.

12. Reveals his secrets and is not afraid to trust, tells details about himself that few know about.

13. He tries and works to make the woman happy.

14. Can make small sacrifices and concessions.

Causes

Emotional attachment is formed in the first year of a baby’s life. During this period, the child develops an idea of how everything works in the world. Is it safe? Is he loved in this world? Are his wants and needs met? It is this period that has a huge impact on the rest of a person’s life. If the need for love and affection has not been properly satisfied, then all his life a person will look for love and affection, care not in himself, but in other people. He will project onto other people the role of an “ideal parent” who should take care of and care for them. People with emotional dependence seek unconditional acceptance and dissolution from him, similar to that experienced by the beloved children of their parents. They are accepted with all their flaws and whims and continue to be loved. However, unlike children, such traits in adults no longer cause tenderness, and no one seeks to take responsibility for the well-being and complete satisfaction of all the desires of another, even a loved one.

There are periods in a person’s life when emotional dependence becomes the norm and does not require treatment. In addition to childhood, there is another one - the so-called period of “candy-bouquet” relationships, during which lovers sometimes cannot tear themselves away from each other. At this time, the body produces happiness hormones - dopamine and endorphin, which lock on another person and force you to seek meetings with him again and again. But this is considered normal only under several conditions:

Your feelings are mutual.
The other person is looking for meetings just as much as you are.

After several months of a relationship, passions, as a rule, subside and partners again become interested not only in each other, but also in the world around them. If this period drags on, then all other interests gradually fade, the person has only one interest left - his beloved, and emotional dependence gradually forms. As a rule, in the final stages of addiction it is no longer possible to fight your addiction on your own, so it is better to stop addictions of any kind in the initial stages. The following factors can be the causes of emotional dependence:

Early death of parents or guardians.
Difficult childhood.
A traumatic event that occurred in childhood (violence, death).
Low self-esteem.
Infantilism.
Inexperience.

Kinds

Before you begin to fight addiction, you need to decide what type of addiction you are susceptible to. The emotional characteristics of addiction may differ depending on the attachment figure.

Attraction to gambling.
Emotional dependence on parents.
Religious addiction.
Sexual addiction.
Dependence on the opinions of strangers.
Dependence on coaches, managers, bosses - that is, people who have more experience in some area.
Emotional dependence on husband or wife.

All of the above types of addiction are united by the desire to transfer responsibility for oneself to another person or group of people and to feel safe at the expense of the care and protection of another, often to the detriment of other areas of one’s life.

Psychological dependence: concept in psychology, features of the phenomenon

In psychology, addiction is a strong, overwhelming attraction to an object, person or phenomenon. People of any age and social status are susceptible to it. Addiction itself is not the main problem, it is a symptom of an underlying disease. With an uncontrolled need to receive emotional saturation from the object of dependence, a person compensates for the feeling of loss. Unable to get what he wants, he replaces it with an affordable analogue.

Psychological addiction in a mild form does not cause problems. But people with weak willpower find it difficult to control themselves; they risk completely dissolving in their problem. In severe cases, a person loses touch with reality and becomes socially dangerous. Therefore, it is important to notice the symptoms in time and resort to psychotherapy.

Dealing with addiction on your own

How to get rid of emotional dependence in a relationship?

The human psyche is an amazingly complex mechanism that has been formed over many thousands of years. Its main task is to ensure our survival and avoid possible stress. It is structured very simply - the body rewards what brings us pleasure and forces us to avoid what is ready to cause us harm. The problem is that addiction causes us harm, but a defense mechanism is triggered and as a result, a person experiences more pleasure the more he dissolves in another. The very first and most important step in the fight against any addiction is recognizing the addiction itself. And here many people are unable to face reality. Most believe that they simply love a person too much, and this is not a harm, but a benefit. Stereotypes in society encourage this idea of love relationships. How to get rid of emotional dependence on a person?

Make a firm decision to take back your life. Only by fully taking responsibility for your emotional and physical state will you be able to develop further as a person. While you are merging with another, he decides for you what aspects of life are interesting to you and what is best for you to do. Autonomous life is much more difficult, but also more productive, and most importantly, you have freedom and independence.
Answer yourself this question: do you want to try to maintain your existing relationship or would it be easier for you to break it off completely? Your further actions will depend on this.
If you can’t get beyond the first step, then just imagine your life in 5, 10, 15 years if you leave everything as it is. Often this is enough to stop relying on another person.
Getting rid of emotional dependence is impossible without support. This can be not only your loved ones and friends, but also interests and hobbies, work, hobbies. Perhaps during the period of getting rid of addiction you will find yourself merging with another person - it is better not to allow this and limit yourself to the friendly support that others are ready to provide you.
Write down for yourself the prospects for liberation from addiction. Imagine how free and independent you will become.

Women's Universe of Love and Beauty

Tweet
Share 0
+1
Email
VKontakte

When a day goes by as usual, followed by the next day as well, and another, many feel it as boring, ordinary, routine... Even if something seems to change, it feels like the same. In addition, we spend most of the day in the mental space, in our heads, solving all kinds of problems - from work to everyday ones. But you want something bright, unusual, changes, fullness, rapture, etc. And here various kinds of emotional “shake-ups”, releases, etc. often come to the “help” - which includes experiencing various kinds of “strong emotional states” .

Somewhere I read the phrase “the soul feeds on vivid emotions,” and it doesn’t matter whether they are positive or negative.

In some ways this is true, because when you look through past lives, the first to be remembered are the vivid emotional states and events associated with them. Routine or ordinary affairs are “seen” only in passing, more at the level of sensations “yes, it happened” (see about the method of reincarnation - immersion in past lives).

And at a certain stage, dependence on strong emotions may arise. Someone goes to extremes - such a roller coaster - going either into a strong minus or into a plus. Someone “loves” to sort things out, someone falls into self-pity, someone lives on adrenaline, someone is stressed, someone is in pursuit of happiness/goal, someone understands other people’s problems and emotions, someone watches the news or programs about the “end of the world” or another misfortune. But what often happens in such peak acute moments is that the circle opens and the person clearly feels alive, completely alive.

Oddly enough, I used to feel alive during hysterics. About 10 years ago they started when I was slowly going crazy from the routine, home-work-home-study... no changes. Hysterics began, as if out of nowhere. It was scary because I didn’t understand what was happening. But they were repeated with regularity. Now I understand that they were needed, because I began to feel something, I felt more alive, more sensitive at such moments.

Then, when there was no longer a need for hysterics, I began to “come up with” other ways: leaving it until the last moment, and then doing it under stress, going to the extreme, provoking another person (especially a man), falling into euphoria, sometimes sexual overstimulation. There are so many ways to “tickle” your nerves by experiencing your “dose” of emotions. Therefore, I unconsciously created situations in which I experienced strong emotions. But as a rule, they were not something positive.

Of course, you need bright emotions in life. This makes her infinitely beautiful and full. But in what way, that is the question?

Now I observe others and understand that many people repeat this pattern of behavior: to evoke strong emotions, most often negative, in order to... feel.

This happens precisely because 1x, we have stopped feeling, using sensory perception and exploring the sensory aspects of life. 2x, we don't feel alive, living, full of life , breathing and flowing with the flow of life.

I'm speaking for myself here, but many others I've talked to candidly talk about the same thing. – They do everything except stop and internal silence... It’s scary, because in this internal silence a real feeling of life is born, life flowing through us.

This is the feeling of life: I am, I exist, I am alive, I live, I am part of the universe, part of this world. And everything around is alive: trees, stones, the surrounding space, everything around is alive, everything around is saturated with life and formed into a wonderful pattern on the canvas of the universe.

And this is where the real miracles begin. Not only do you breathe more freely when you are drunk with happiness, because you feel that life is scattered everywhere, in every atom of air it is in every molecule of water, but because you begin to feel the moments of life . – The uniqueness and originality of each moment and the way they come together, combine into something incredible - some opportunity, situation, action, meeting, smile, landscape... whatever.

At such moments you understand how fantastic life is, how beautiful it is, how much larger and broader it is than the problems and issues that we are constantly trying to solve. And how precious and how lucky I am - after all, I had the chance to be born and live here on Earth under a lucky Star named the Sun.

This state – I am alive and everything around me is alive (even if you don’t like this manifestation of life) – is intoxicating and transforms life.

When you feel alive, your emotions become purer, you no longer need this recharge, like a dose, the next dose of emotions. Then the dependence on strong, negative emotions goes away. But I want to feel life more acutely, more acutely, sometimes unbearably acutely. On some level, this is very painful, extremely painful, especially when you clearly see what people are “creating” most of the time, including myself. Because we often manage to pollute and even destroy this pure fabric of the universe more often than we introduce new patterns, structures, creations. And it resonates with pain within you.

But when you feel life itself, you suddenly emerge from the negative and it’s as if your soul begins to feed on something positive, to be saturated, to be nourished, to come to life more and more... From this state many others are born - the joy of life, trust, which usually slips away in the whirlpool of negativity (yes and it’s hard to trust when negative news is constantly pouring in). But most importantly, you begin to see the light and feel how love envelops you.

Life is saturated with love. Love is the connecting force with which all atoms are attracted to each other and held in their place, the force that connects objects, maintains them in unity, but each in its place. The force that unites and attracts each other, the force that holds the fabric of the universe, the force of a single universal consciousness, where everyone is in their place, everyone is themselves, fulfilling their role... Without it, we would be separate puzzles.

And here love appears not as a human feeling, but as a cosmic law. It is not like ordinary human love, or any specific relationship/romantic experience. Here love is one of the highest cosmic laws. (see Law of Love).

Although it may be, because when there is no love in something, it begins to disintegrate, collapse, be it a situation, an object, a relationship. The force that attracts and holds together does not act. Maybe that’s why we destroy ourselves, because we don’t feel love for ourselves, we destroy the earth because we don’t feel love for it, that it is living, breathing.

I don’t know, now there is just a feeling that when there is no love, it becomes easy to destroy, be it an object, a relationship, or yourself. But when love is present, it becomes very easy to create, connect, and be creative. And the heart knows about this law. All that remains is to tune in with it and live in accordance with the law of love. The heart can and knows how.

Then who is better...worse does not matter, because you have your place in life, because you have your own river in the general flow of life. It matters whether you take your place or rush around or even climb into other people’s, not those that are typical for you, whether you are yourself or trying to become someone else, whether you go your own way, even if you have to pave the way or obediently go “where you need to go.” and how is it necessary"?

Do you feel alive, living, filled with life?

With love, Evgenia Medvedeva

PS And this passage inspired a new state of consciousness and feeling, a very powerful text.

You've probably already heard from your mother and from your priest that our Father is God? That it was He who created our entire cosmos, and our universe, and our earth, and all of us. That's why they call him Father. And you’ve probably seen in many paintings and icons that artists from ancient times have depicted him as an old man with a gray beard?

But you probably heard the same thing, and now I think you hear about it more and more often, that there is no God. But really, can some old man with a gray beard sit in heaven and from there rule everything and everyone on our earth? That’s why scientists say that there is no God. Here's what I'd like to tell you about it.

The fact is that, living here on my island, completely alone, of course, I turned to God very often. I asked Him for help, and in every possible way sought a meeting with Him. But God did not want to show himself to me; it was as if he did not hear my prayers.

Every day I begged him to return me from this island to my family. I asked him to send at least some ship past, and I peered hopefully into the horizon, but it was all in vain. God seemed to deliberately not pay any attention to me. So in the end, I completely lost hope of meeting Him, I lost faith in Him, and having lost faith in Him, I fell into terrible melancholy.

There is no God, of course,” I decided and tears flowed down my cheeks like a river. In complete despair, I sat on the ocean shore and looked at its huge waves.

I looked at the ocean and dreamed of only one thing - to die as soon as possible. I was looking at the ocean and suddenly something strange happened to me. Suddenly, in an instant, I felt all the strength, all the power, all the beauty and most importantly, all the deepest mystery of this huge ocean. It was as if I understood the entire ocean.

It was as if I had merged with it, becoming one with the ocean. I looked at the ocean and streams of living force passed through my body.

I looked at the ocean and felt like one of its mighty waves. I felt my life flowing inside me. In short, for the first time in my life, I felt truly alive.

And at that very moment I realized very clearly that God is not at all an old man with a gray beard in heaven, but God is the life that fills everything around. Look at the tree that grows in front of your window; how could it be covered with leaves and bloom with flowers if it were not alive?

The tree not only grows up and reaches for the light, but it grows and blooms with green leaves because there is life in it. Trees and flowers, people and animals, fish and insects and everything you see around is filled with life.

Close your eyes and sit in silence for a while and you will feel life flowing inside you. Life is a river that fills all things, all objects and all beings around us. We all eat, drink, laugh and do what we love because there is life in us.

Close your eyes and feel that you are alive. Thanks to life, rivers flow and flow into oceans. Thanks to life, volcanoes erupt and pour out their burning lava, which, when solidified, turns into rocks and stones. Know that both stones and rocks, which seem dead and motionless to us, are actually filled with life. Life flows in them, just like in you.

Close your eyes and feel how life flows through your arms and legs and throughout your whole body. Life fills the entire universe that surrounds us. Life flows in distant cold stars, and in the Milky Way, and even in black holes, everywhere and in everything, life flows in this universe. All nature is filled with life. Life gives birth to cosmic galaxies, life gives birth to the universe, life gives birth to planets and an infinite number of living beings.

Close your eyes and feel yourself to be one with our entire earth, with our entire cosmos, with everything alive both around and inside you. Because you are part of one common life.

And before the universe appeared, before stars and galaxies appeared, before our sun and our planet Earth appeared, before all of this there was already life.

You've probably heard how often they like to repeat: “and life began in the universe”? Or “the universe gave birth to life”? in fact, these phrases contain one significant mistake and it is this. It was not the universe that gave birth to life, but life that gave birth to the universe. It simply cannot be any other way, because how can something dead give birth to something alive? It's as if the table made the carpenter, and not the other way around. Or as if a jug would fashion a potter, or a painting would create an artist.

No, it is the artist who creates the picture and fills it with life. Life gives birth to living things. Life gives birth to universes and the entire universe. All living things are born from life, and not vice versa.

Life never appeared because it was always there. Life cannot disappear or appear, because life is what was and will be and will never disappear. And even when our sun goes out, and our earth falls apart and we people cease to exist, life will never stop, it will continue to flow like a mighty river and create for itself a new sun, a new earth and new living beings on new planets, because life is the basis of everything, and there is no place anywhere in the universe where there is no life.

Therefore, know that life is everywhere and always. And it is also important to know that the life that flows inside you also flows in everything that you see around you. And in your friends, and in your parents, and in your dog, and most importantly, in those whom you do not love and consider bad people, the same life flows in them as in you. The same mighty river flows in all of us, which is called life.

Therefore, when you meet a person who is unpleasant to you, or whom you consider the worst person on earth, then always remember that the same life flows inside you and inside him. And this life is our Father. Therefore, to love and honor your Father means to love and honor life. Turning to your father for help and support means turning to life itself. This is precisely the essence of all prayers, all religions on earth. Because when a person prays, no matter what religion he belongs to and what God he addresses by name, he actually turns to true life. Because God is life. Life - which is you, is me, and even our death, because even our death is actually also part of that very life.

Our bodies will die, and the life that is inside us will flow its river further and further, the life inside us will never die, because this life inside us is our Father, who is always present inside each of us.

So remember that our father is always present within each of us. Your father is always with you. Wherever you are, and no matter what situation you find yourself in, your father is always with you, because He is inside you, because He is life. Your Father is always in your heart, because your Father is the one who filled you with life, and now this life will always flow through your veins, your heart, and your soul. And you yourself are nothing other than this life. So remember, you are life.

Therefore, be alive, feel how endless life flows inside you, trust the life inside you and do not be afraid of anything, because there is no one in this world who could take away from you the life that you are. It is impossible to kill or stop life, because there is nothing in this universe except life, there is only life, always and everywhere.

Look around carefully and find life in everything that surrounds you. Look at the angry, dirty dog that runs aimlessly through the streets and throws itself at everyone around it - it has the same life that flows in you. Look at the teacher in your class who unfairly scolds you and picks on you more than the others, he has the same life that flows in you.

Look at the guy from high school who bullies you and takes away your favorite things, he has the same life as you.

The same life flows in all of us. We are all children of one life. Black people, white people, Jews, Russians and Germans, we are all one life that takes different forms and expresses itself in different peoples.

Now you live in a country where they increasingly tell you that the people to which you belong are the best and most spiritual on earth. Don't listen to this. This is what those who do not feel alive say. There are no “worst” and “better” peoples, just as there are no “worst” and “best” people. Please remember - there are no bad people, but there are those who do not feel life within themselves.

But even these people are no worse than others, and even if they commit bad deeds and do bad things.

Therefore, know that the one who commits bad deeds and does bad things is not a bad person in himself, but he does so because he does not feel true life within himself. Therefore, the more we feel genuine life within ourselves, the less evil we do. Because evil is where life is not felt, and good is where life reveals itself in its diversity and beauty.

And know also that if there are still bad people for you, if you consider yourself better than others, and if you feel separate from other people and from the whole world, then it means that you have not yet fully united with life within yourself. Therefore, look for life in yourself and in everyone around you. Strive for life, call for it and be alive.

This is our main secret - the purpose of life is to be alive. There is our secret with you - the goal of life is to seek true life, connect with it, and dissolve in it entirely, become whole and alive. But only he can be truly alive who sees life in everything that surrounds him, both in what is pleasant to him and in what is not.

Therefore, remember that true life is not only where you like and feel good, but it is also where it is difficult for you to be, and where you would like to leave as soon as possible. There is true life in grief, and in suffering, and in dirt, and even where, as it seems to you, there is no life.

Life is everywhere. Therefore, if you want to be truly alive, then open your heart to life and feel like the happiest person in the entire universe, because the happiest person in the entire universe can only be the one who knows that he is alive.

Ivan Vyrypaev - New play “What I learned from the snake”

Tweet
Share 0
+1
Email
VKontakte

Expert advice

Dependence on other people is unpleasant primarily because your well-being and mood depend not on yourself, but on another person. If a dependent participant in a relationship does not receive enough attention from the object of his dependence, life literally loses its meaning for him. This is a pathological condition that needs to be eliminated as soon as possible. If you are just starting out, following simple steps can help you. What do experts recommend?

Don't put on other people what you can do yourself. Some tasks are unpleasant and difficult to do yourself. But this is the only way to increase self-esteem and become a completely independent person.
Don't do their work for others. One of the steps to fighting addiction is setting clear boundaries. If you are asked to perform some task that is not within your competence, say a firm “no”.
The ability to reflect and analyze one's behavior is an important part of psychotherapy. Stop from time to time and ask yourself: “Why did I do this?”, “What feelings did I experience?” Over time, you will learn to understand the hidden motives of your actions and satisfy your needs in a natural way.
Don't get carried away by guilt and don't despise yourself. During addiction, a person may make mistakes for which he will later be ashamed. Treat yourself with understanding - after all, most likely, in those situations you simply could not do otherwise.
Try to raise your self-esteem. Success at work or in the creative field helps a lot with this.
Accept that most things that happen are beyond your control. Many things in our world are unfair and do not obey the laws of logic. You can only influence yourself, but not the people around you or certain events.

Who to contact for help

As with other addictions, it is not always possible to cope with strong emotional attachment on your own. In this case, it is better to contact a professional. Psychologists and psychotherapists usually work with non-chemical addictions. The mechanism of addiction is the same in most cases. Very often, people who get rid of one addiction switch to another. Therefore, the principle of working with all pathological attachments is based on the same principles. How to get rid of emotional dependence on a woman or man? It is necessary to find out why exactly the addiction was formed. During sessions with a psychotherapist, the specialist studies in detail situations from childhood and later life that could contribute to the development of emotional dependence.

To combat addiction in different situations, psychologists recommend different things: in some cases, it is better to quickly break off relations with the object of addiction, especially if the situation threatens the life or health of the patient. In other cases, it is easier to remain in a dependent relationship, but gradually begin to build a platform for a new life. The main work, as usual, is carried out not in consultations with a specialist, but in everyday life. An addicted person will have to rebuild his entire life and form an independent “I” in order to get rid of the addiction. What is usually included in a standard emotional addiction recovery plan?

Recognizing yourself as an addict.
Reassessment of one's own personality qualities.
Finding and understanding your “weak” places where you need help from another person.
Find activities that you can enjoy.
Reconsider and rebuild your life so that it does not revolve only around another person.
Work through feelings and situations from childhood that cause you pain.

Dealing with addiction usually takes a lot of time. In most cases, it takes about a year to get a person back on his feet. Sessions are scheduled once or twice a week.

How to get rid of psychological attachment to a man

Addiction is a feeling when the presence of another person brings a feeling of happiness. For the sake of a companion, you can do unreasonable things. Forgetting about yourself and completely dissolving in the needs of your loved one. Many people consider this behavior to be the norm.

So far so good, the woman flies as if on wings, adores the whole world. She considers her man a god . Gives himself completely to feelings. Allows her loved one to make decisions without her. But as soon as the object of her adoration is dissatisfied with her behavior, she experiences severe emotional pain.

The seeds of addiction begin in childhood . This is a consequence of developmental trauma that stems from relationships with parents. Subconsciously, the child feels that mom and dad don’t love him. And although this is not true, due to their age, children cannot understand all feelings. Growing up, girls look for men who can fill their spiritual emptiness and constantly demand confirmation that they are loved.

Such women do not notice anyone or anything around them:

The sense of reality is lost.
Problems appear in communicating with other people.
Adequate relationships turn into addiction.
There is a need for constant approval and support.

This often leads to depression. Even worse - to a nervous breakdown, or to a crime motivated by jealousy.

Read the article: Where to find happiness

Not only weak women suffer from this; successful business women can become dependent . Many people mistake affection for love. But feelings do not bring personal happiness and positive emotions. Dependent representatives of the fair sex are not able to live an ordinary life. Suffering from such relationships is considered natural. Personality is degrading.

It is impossible to completely get rid of psychological addiction. There remains a part of respect, affection for the man they love. You need to learn to manage your feelings . Sometimes a woman understands that she and her stronger half of humanity are not one. But he is afraid to admit it to himself, as well as the consequences.

Psychological addiction harms peace of mind
First of all, you need to recognize the problem
Personal boundaries need to be set
Conduct introspection and work on your own consciousness
Remember the dreams and desires that remained unfulfilled
Meet a friend you haven't seen for a long time
You can make an appointment with a psychologist
If there is a material aspect, you need to find a job

A woman will stop depending on a man. Every person has the right to control his own destiny.

Psychological treatments

Most often, getting rid of addiction on your own is very difficult. How to overcome emotional dependence if you do not have the opportunity to see a specialist? You can try a number of psychological techniques that are used in psychotherapists' offices. The most famous of them is the “Burning Connections” technique. To get rid of emotional dependence faster, sit back and close your eyes. You should have 15-30 minutes free, during which no one will disturb you. Imagine in your mind a person with whom you have a dependent relationship. Then imagine threads that stretch from your body to his. Observe this picture from the side for a while, and then say goodbye to it and burn the threads. Sit quietly for a while afterwards with your eyes closed, meditating. Afterward, it would be best to drink a soothing drink and take a shower or hot bath. Using this technique several times a week, you can break free from addiction quite quickly.

There is another way to get rid of emotional dependence on a man. Write all your emotions on a piece of paper. Try to express all your complaints, pain, fear and love as fully as possible. Don't try to express these emotions to your partner or loved one. It would be much better to write such a letter “on the table” and later burn or destroy it. What points should be covered in it?

Guilt.
Anger and resentment.
Positive emotions: gratitude, affection.
Sadness and regrets.
Fears and disappointments.

How to get rid of emotional attachment to a person: specific tips

Relationships between people lead to an emotional connection called attachment . Sometimes these feelings go beyond boundaries and become unhealthy. A psychological problem arises. It can lead to depression and a nervous breakdown. If it becomes clear that the relationship brings only painful sensations and there is no prospect of further communication, it is necessary to take action to eliminate such attachment.

You won't be able to get rid of negative thoughts unless you want to end this problem.

One of the most effective ways to get rid of thoughts about the person you are attached to is to stop communicating with him. At the same time, not only stop dating, but also correspond or call back.

It is not easy. You may feel spiritual devastation, but this is just a temporary phenomenon. It is worth removing from sight all the gifts given by this person. Photos taken together on vacation. It won't be easy at first. But over time, spiritual satisfaction will come.

Being in such a state, people tend to remain alone, closed off from the outside world, with their thoughts and memories alone. It does not help. At such times, it is necessary to communicate more with family and friends. Their support and understanding will help you cope with your worries. Interaction with others will help you stop focusing on your problems. Leisure and spending time together will allow you to get positive emotions.

You need to find not only negative sides in everything. If your husband left you, then it’s time to start looking for new love. There will be more free time. Household duties will be simplified. The scandals will stop.

After getting rid of addiction, a new time in life begins. Free time can be spent on your favorite activity or hobby. It is necessary to improve yourself, work on yourself, and engage in self-education. If you have an interest in art, it's time to start reading relevant literature. Start attending art exhibitions and other events related to this area. If you couldn’t quit smoking before, you can try to quit this bad habit now.

A good way to get rid of addiction is to do something that will occupy not only your mind, but also your hands. This could be handicrafts, creativity, dancing, cooking, sports. You need to do this with passion, and not just out of boredom. You can pursue a career and build your own business. If earlier attachment prevented the implementation of bold projects and thoughts, now is the time for this. This will help you become financially independent.

It happens that a person cannot cope with the problem of attachment alone. Then you need to contact a specialist. A psychologist will help you switch to something else, get rid of negative thoughts, and suggest a way out of this situation.

You need to learn to enjoy life, every moment of it. Life is fleeting. Don't waste your time on empty worries. Moving on, having made the right conclusions, is the key to peace of mind.

Medications

Since emotional dependence is not chemical, it is usually treated with sedative antidepressants, which are also prescribed for other problems with the psyche and nervous system.

"Maprotiline" - reduces apathy, helps get rid of depression and psychomotor retardation.
Prozac is a well-known drug that is used for depression, neurotic disorders and during the treatment of addictions. It makes it easier to bear the absence of the object of dependence and reduces anxiety.
Deprim can be used without a doctor's prescription. It increases performance, eliminates depression and emotional exhaustion, while acting quite gently. Therefore, it is often taken by people suffering from emotional dependence.
Ginseng tincture has long been known as a remedy that increases emotional mood and performance. It can be used as a drug to activate vital energy.
“Persen” is quite often prescribed for poor sleep, irritability and lack of concentration.
Mirtazapine restores the ability to enjoy, improves sleep and helps normalize appetite.