The meaning of a pause in a relationship
Usually the initiator of temporary separation is the girl. Her secret goal is to make the guy change his mind and see what will happen in case of separation. The girl hopes that the guy will start to get bored and that the separation will inflame passion and the old hot feelings. The chosen one will imagine how bad it will be without a bride or girlfriend, and will do everything possible to keep her. A guy thinks almost the same thing when he offers his chosen one a time out in a relationship.
You need to think carefully before suggesting a break. Temporary separation does not always lead to heightened feelings and inflamed passions. Sometimes it leads to separation and the end of relationships. When a person is nearby, there are points of common ground with him: common issues that are resolved together, situations that require a reaction.
If one partner disappears from life, and the other gets along well without him, he ceases to be afraid of the end of the relationship. When the fear of separation disappears, and only memories remain, you can call it a day.
The meaning of a pause for a man and a woman is to check feelings and sensations, forcing the partner to think about their future fate. The result of a time-out is the resumption of the relationship or a complete cessation.
Why is there a need?
The need for a “comic” separation arises in a situation where the relationship has reached a dead end, old feelings have disappeared, and it is unclear whether there is love in the heart or not. Couples who have been together for a long time go through difficult periods. They are caught up in the routine of everyday problems, there is no time for each other, it seems that there are no feelings, so it’s time to part.
The moment of separation for unmarried couples is less tragic, since everyone thinks only about their own well-being, hurt pride, and wounded feelings. There is nothing tragic about a possible separation.
If a married couple decides to take a time-out, the situation is much more serious. We also have to think about the fate of the children, resolve everyday issues, and divide property. For spouses, a pause is needed to decide what to do next: reconcile, reconcile, or divorce.
Sometimes the situation is not as serious as it initially seems. You really need to take a break from each other and think, but without declaring a pause in the relationship. The phrase implies that the partner is thinking about breaking up, which means he no longer loves, does not want to be together, and is looking for a reason. This is exactly how the proposal is perceived by the second partner. The response is hurt pride, pride, and loss of trust. Instead of renewed feelings, they cool down.
Should I take a break and for how long?
The practice of taking a break can indeed be useful; often the spouse considers the other person property due to the presence of a stamp (typical for men). They are sincerely confident that having won a girl during the period of candy-bouquets, having received the coveted “yes”, you can calmly rest on your laurels all your life.
The wife turns into something like a cat; if she wanted to, she stroked her; if she didn’t want to, she pushed her away. Closeness of souls, friendship disappears, life is reduced to solving everyday situations. An offer to live separately can have a sobering effect and force you to rethink your values and priorities.
In some cases, a pause aggravates the situation, contributes to an increase in alienation, and final distance.
Time must be used correctly:
- Relax . It’s trivial to get enough sleep, adjust your diet, add physical activity. Chronic fatigue negatively affects the psychological state, provokes irritability, short temper, and touchiness.
- Think about the situation. Analyze the problem in detail and look for solutions. The priority should be shifted in your direction; blaming others is easy, pleasant, but unconstructive.
- Identify the most conflicting moments , try to look at the problem from different angles.
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A pause requires meaningfulness and responsibility from both. It would be a mistake to go all out. The ostrich approach of ignoring the results will not work, just like running away from difficult moments that require elaboration into active flirting, friendly drinking, trips to clubs in search of a candidate for a vacant position. There is a great risk that one will resuscitate the relationship, and the second will go free.
Time for solitude is an individual parameter, but a period of less than 2 weeks is considered short. The person does not have time to “exhale.” A pause of more than 1 month accustoms you to a new free status. The decision must be made by both partners, indicating a period after which they will decide on the situation and discuss issues of concern. If one refuses to temporarily separate to maintain contact, you will have to look for an alternative way.
What kind of pause is there?
In terms of time, the pause can be long, short, limited and indefinite. The partner offering it can specify the period during which a decision must be made. For example, a week. No more. Seven days is enough to understand whether you need to continue the relationship or it’s time to end it.
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An indefinite pause implies the beginning of a slow separation. This usually happens if you don’t have the courage to express your desire to end the relationship or stop meeting. However, the situation of uncertainty depresses both partners. One hopes for reconciliation, the second is already living his life without remembering the past. In this regard, the pause should always be limited and set within a time frame. In addition, it is divided according to its meaning: voluntary, forced, forced.
Examination
They say that separation inflates strong feelings and extinguishes weak ones. When something doesn’t suit a relationship, they begin to test it with distance. It’s good when you have the opportunity to painlessly leave for a while, without announcing your intentions or casually hinting: “I’ll go to my relatives, and you think about whether we should continue our relationship.” When apart, partners understand whether they miss each other or not.
Necessity
A pause occurs when one of the partners is forced to leave for a long time. We can say that relations are moving to a new format. The couple seems to be together, but each can live their own lives, secretly meeting with others. This is not a test or time to think, but a necessary measure. Loving partners live separately, but keep in touch every day and look forward to meeting each other. If there is no love in the heart, separation alienates and makes partners strangers. The decision to break up does not come immediately, but it leads to it.
Ultimatum
No man likes ultimatums. When put in strict limits and forced to make the “right” choice, many have a negative reaction. The partner ends the relationship, which could have continued if not for the ultimatum.
Before driving your partner into rigid boundaries, you need to think carefully about the situation and be prepared for any ending. An ultimatum is given if there is nowhere to go or it is necessary to bring the chosen one “to his senses”, for example, if nothing changes in his behavior, then a breakup is inevitable.
Despair
When one partner does something stupid or intentionally hurts the other's feelings, the victim takes the desperate step of suggesting time out. Despair is a state in which a person does not see a way out and does not know what to do correctly. He does the first thing that comes to mind. If a love relationship has brought a person to such a state, it is worth thinking about its expediency. In this case, what is needed is not a pause, but a bold point.
We need a break if our needs are not being met in a relationship.
When communicating with a partner, we should experience a sense of security, joy, and pleasure. But often our needs are not met, so discomfort arises. We need to be alone to realize what exactly is broken, what we need from our partner in order to feel happy. A pause will allow you to make the right choice without neglecting your needs.
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Break rules
There are no clear rules on how to behave, but there are certain points that you should pay attention to:
- Set deadlines for reflection. There is no need to let everything take its course and separate for an indefinite period of time. It takes 3-5 days to think about the situation and sort out your feelings.
- Don't hope for a miracle. If the relationship does not work out and passions have stopped raging, you should not hope for a bright renewal of feelings. In this situation, a complete break is more likely than a magical reconciliation.
- No need to push. If you are given time to think and make the right decision, let it be independent. You should not impose your opinion, vision, threaten, or resort to manipulation.
- Don't do anything stupid. A break is not a break yet. You shouldn’t immediately rush into the arms of other partners, don’t care about past relationships. At this time, you should seriously think about the union, feelings and the future. The decision must be announced as soon as it is made.
You should not delay the result. If you have warm feelings, two days will be enough to realize your mistakes. Then you can take steps towards reconciliation. When there is no love, you also need to set the record straight and untie your and your partner’s hands.
At the request of the man
If a guy initiates it, it means he is thinking about breaking up, but is afraid to say it directly. How should a girl behave? Initially, such a proposal leads to a stupor, especially if the feelings are still strong and sincere, then the “time of thoughts” comes. Memories will come flooding back, fear of separation will appear, disappointment will set in due to dashed hopes. After a few more days, the realization comes that it is better to leave. Men are more specific in their decisions and actions. If they offer a pause, it means they give the girl the right to take the initiative and put an end to the relationship.
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Initiated by a woman
Girls suggest time-out for various reasons, but the main goal is to test their partner and increase their own importance: “Let's see what happens when you lose me.” Less often, women insist on temporary separation in order to sort out their feelings and sensations. If the pause was initiated by the girl, the man needs to know what to do.
When your chosen one is dear, you should show signs of attention, have a serious conversation, and talk about warm feelings. This is exactly what a girl wants when she makes such an offer. When there is no love left, you should admit it in order to make the right decision together.
How to avoid a crisis
Conflict situations often arise between a man and a woman that need to be resolved. The easiest way is to take a break, take a break from each other, live separately. But this is not always the right decision. Young people take time out before marriage. Separation helps them understand their desires and true aspirations.
When adults play time-out, having been married for a long time, the situation is perceived negatively. To avoid a crisis, it is better to use other methods.
Straight Talk
If there is something you are not happy with in a relationship, you need to talk about it. A frank conversation helps to understand the situation and avoid omissions. In this case, the partners do not invent something that does not exist, but correctly assess the situation and together find a way out of the situation.
Mutual compromises
All people are different. To get along together, you need to learn to find a compromise. This is the ability to sacrifice one's own interests for the benefit of a partner. Compromise smooths out rough edges and improves relationships.
No support
In a relationship, it is important to encourage your partner when he achieves something, and to provide support if he is surrounded by troubles. In this case, the process must be mutual. If this does not happen, the relationship resembles communication of the “parent-child” type: one educates, takes care of, and the other only uses. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship that you should leave.
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Basic mistakes
Initially, you need to understand that a timeout does not solve the problem. This is a method for young and ambitious boys and girls who are just learning to build relationships, play love and test the feelings of their partners. Adults use other methods: frank conversation, compromise and argumentation of their own decisions. The main misconception is that separation inflames passion. If there are no feelings, distance will lead to even greater cooling.
A pause will not help, and in some cases it will harm. Before suggesting temporary separation, you should carefully weigh everything and be prepared for any development of events.
