When the kiss of death is like: causes and signs of philemaphobia

A kiss is an incredible sacrament between two people in love, which fills a person with a lot of positive emotions, experiences and feelings. The kiss inspires, makes the heart beat faster, it’s as if an electric shock passes through the whole body, the knees tremble, and the head is dizzy. It seems to lovers that there is no one around them, there is only him, she and their kiss. But before their first kiss, teenagers very often torment themselves with questions, “What should I do? What is the right way?”, and, sometimes, the rather inappropriate experience “I’m afraid!”

Each of us has encountered such a problem at least once in our lives. There is nothing scary or unnatural about this. Such doubts only indicate that a person has a psychological and emotional barrier that is difficult to cross. Excitement before something new and unknown is a completely normal human reaction.

What is philemaphobia

Philemaphobia is the name given to the fear of kissing. It is customary to distinguish between fear of the first kiss and fear of kissing as such. In the first case, it is enough to overcome the barrier once in order not to encounter problems in this area of relationships in the future. If you are afraid of kisses as such, professional psychological treatment is indicated.

The fear of the first kiss is associated with the fear of rejection, fear of ridicule, fear of failure, fear of disgrace. This type of fear is more typical of men, since they are the ones who are expected to take the first steps. Fear of kisses as such is more often associated with personal psychological traumas and complexes. This type of fear is equally characteristic of both men and women.

This is interesting! Philemaphobes may be in close relationships, but they never resort to “calf tenderness,” especially kissing. In advanced stages, even kissing scenes in movies or kisses from other people in real life frighten the patient.

Diagnostic and therapeutic measures

You can get rid of the problem yourself if you tune in to fight it and actively engage in self-hypnosis.
Another way is to talk to your partner and overcome the barrier together through regular practice. If the cause of the disorder lies in the fear of bad breath, consult a dentist and gastroenterologist and undergo appropriate treatment.

Psychologists recommend overcoming the fear of the first kiss like this:

imagine the future affection in detail and vividly: taste, smell, emotions, sensations;
remember the hero of the film (heartthrob, macho) and “get into his skin”, get used to the role;
remember any victory in life and tune in to a positive result.

In severe cases, the help of a specialist who knows effective methods to combat philemaphobia is required.
This is psychoanalysis - identifying the source of fear, group therapy with independent exercises, attending special trainings, where patients share their feelings and learn to stop exacerbations of pathology. Drug therapy is not used. The exception is cases of nervousness and depression that arise against the background of a phobia. Patients are prescribed tranquilizers and antidepressants in a certain dosage.

An alternative to medications is reflexology (relaxation massage, electron, acupuncture). These methods relieve tension, neutralize the effects of stress, helping to more effectively eliminate the disorder.

Interesting!

The Japanese technique (kissing shy people) with tightly clenched teeth and a quick, barely perceptible touch to the lips helps ease the discomfort.
What other phobias are associated with this phobia?

philophobia - fear of falling in love;
ergophobia – fear of fulfilling professional obligations;
glossophobia – fear of speaking in front of an audience;
autophobia - fear of being alone with oneself, being left alone;
demophobia – fear of being in a crowd;
arrhenophobia – intolerance to male attention and men;
Anuptaphobia is an obsessive fear of getting involved in a relationship with the wrong partner.

How does a phobia manifest itself?

The leading symptom is avoidance of close communication. This desire determines the remaining features of the life and behavior of a philemaphobe:

tendency to solitude;
chronic stress, anxiety, irrational fear;
aversion to romance like films;
narrowing of the circle of contacts, impoverishment of contacts with the opposite sex;
panic attacks in those moments when someone tries to kiss a philemaphobe.

During a kiss, the patient experiences discomfort, anxiety and a feeling of fear worsen. The manifestations and strength of a panic attack depend on the characteristics of the course of the disease and its stage. Manifestations range from slight tremors in the limbs to irrational actions, for example, the patient may push or hit someone who is reaching out to him. Other people who are afraid to kiss may cry, scream, or run away.

In addition to psychological manifestations, a panic attack is accompanied by somatic changes:

feeling of suffocation;
frequent shallow breathing;
cardiopalmus;
chest pain;
high blood pressure;
shiver;
dizziness;
problems with coordination;
dry mouth;
increased sweating;
chills;
gastrointestinal disorder;
a feeling of unreality of what is happening.

Fear of the first kiss

Most often, the fear of the first kiss is based on the fear of being rejected. There is no more stupid situation than when we talk about our love and stumble upon distance, misunderstanding and ridicule. Or we perform any actions that speak of love: we give flowers, hug, kiss, and with the same result. But if for a guy being rejected is just a nuisance, for a girl this can turn into a completely psychological disaster. Personal manifestation of activity in relationships is perceived by many women as an extreme measure. And if this measure is rejected, a woman can conclude that she has a complete lack of sexual attractiveness. It must be said that this is a false conclusion.

Doing everything for the first time is scary. Especially something that has spectators and other participants in front of whom we can embarrass ourselves. The second reason for the fear of the first kiss is the fear of disgracing yourself by not knowing how to do it. Every man wants to seem like a seasoned macho. And macho men probably kiss in a special way. But how? It's a little different for women. They want to appear appropriately virginal and inexperienced, but at the same time be excellent at everything related to relationships and sex. Any inability to do something related to men is perceived very painfully by a woman.

The picture is completed by various kinds of fears, the validity of which is in question. For example, fear of odors and lack of cleanliness of your own mouth. Some chew several packs of gum a day and use an incredible amount of air fresheners, wasting a lot of money on deodorization. They never eat not only onions and garlic, but also a lot of other foods that could theoretically give off some kind of smell.

Causes of phobia

For most people, the fear of touching their lips with their lips seems strange, but philemaphobes always have hidden reasons for this behavior. Most often it is a matter of psychological trauma , but in addition, fear can be caused by the costs of upbringing and character traits (disgust, shyness, complexes). Let's look at the probable reasons in more detail.

Disgust and disgust

A similar attitude towards the natural manifestation of love is found in childhood. But with moral teachings from parents, distrust of the world as such, dislike for people, fear of becoming infected with something, fear takes root and grows with the person.

This is interesting! A person who is afraid of becoming a source of an unpleasant odor constantly chews gum, uses air fresheners, and does not eat onions and garlic.

Negative experiences and unpleasant feelings

Violence, watching shocking scenes in films or real life, personal unpleasant experiences with kissing. For example, a child saw a horror film where some monster with a bloody mouth tried to kiss a girl, or saw a scene with violence (someone was kissed against his will). Or the person found himself in an awkward situation related to kissing. Or maybe someone made fun of him, humiliated him, saying that he was a disgusting kisser. Youthful bullying because a teenager has not yet been kissed can also cause trauma.

Associated phobias

The fear of kissing is often combined with the fear of falling in love. For such people, lip contact is a sign of increased emotional intimacy and the beginning of a relationship. They are afraid of becoming vulnerable, afraid of another painful breakup.

Fear of people of the opposite sex can also be a cause of fear. For example, a woman is still offended by some man or is afraid of him, because of this she cannot get close to other representatives of the stronger sex. And the fear of kissing a girl can be caused by negative memories in a man or fear of all women, virgins, and other categories of the fair sex.

Philemaphobia is associated with the following types of fears (the subject of fear is indicated in brackets):

philophobia (love, affection);
arrhenphobia (men);
gynophobia (women);
Gamophobia (marriage);
genophobia (sex);
mysophobia (infections, germs);
Chiraptophobia (touching);
Anuptaphobia (mistake when choosing a partner).

Bites and injuries

A playful kiss or an accidental bite due to inexperience can turn into real psychological trauma, especially if this happened in childhood or adolescence. Some parents instill fear in their children of kissing, for example, they say that this is how children are born, or that this is how you can lose your tongue or suffocate. Or maybe the child (teenager) was hit on the lips by his parents or opponent.

Complexity and shyness

Some people perceive hugs, kisses and other tactile contact as a violation of personal space. Maybe they are ready to bask with a person close to them in their understanding, but they are definitely not ready for routine kisses when they meet. This behavior is typical for shy, reserved, complex people and introverts, as well as reserved people with underdeveloped emotional intelligence.

It is important! Braces, pathologies and defects in the oral cavity often become the cause of complexes. But the cause of the complex may also be another defect, often fictitious. In both the first and second cases, the person is afraid of close contacts and considers himself unworthy.

The essence of a phobia

Fear is the body’s reaction to a situation that a person does not realize and does not accept. To overcome it, you need to know the cause of fear and increased anxiety. Fear in philemaphobia arises from the mere thought of contact with a partner. Prolonged mental stress causes stress, and a stressful state develops a mental disorder.

Fear of a kiss is not a dangerous disease, like any other form of phobia - philemaphobia - affects the social adaptation of the individual. Due to an irrational fear of the situation associated with the first kiss or intimacy, a person loses control over his own behavior.

Fear of kissing may negatively affect social adaptation

People at risk

According to system-vector psychology, the risk group includes the following categories of people:

Skin vector. People with this type of psyche see threats everywhere. They imagine infections, viruses, and other dangers.
Anal vector. These are very categorical people who are not used to parting with their beliefs. An example is men who do not want to enter into relationships with women who have already had intimate experience.
Smell vector. They are repelled by the unpleasant smell.
Tactile vector. These people protect their skin in every way, perceiving it as a border between the external and internal world.
Visual vector. The reason is long-term observation of emotionless relationships, where one of the partners or both were cold, did not love each other, and suffered from philemaphobia.

You can interact with each of these people, if you take into account its characteristics.

It is important! Adolescents, suspicious and anxious individuals are at risk.

Who is susceptible to phobia

Nervousness before the first kiss is a normal reaction. Jitters indicate the importance of the event. The expectations before the first kiss do not always correspond to reality, which is why negative associations arise. This experience is especially dangerous for teenagers, insecure individuals and suspicious natures.

There are several groups of people who are afraid of kissing on the lips:

skin vector personalities;
representatives of the anal vector;
representatives of the olfactory vector;
people tactile vector;
visual vector people.

The model of environmental perception is a vector that determines a person’s susceptibility to certain situations. The skin vector characterizes individuals who find it difficult to enter into normal relationships with a partner. They have a complex character and many demands on others. Representatives of the skin vector are susceptible to phobias associated with bodily contact. They are afraid of contracting infections and viruses.

Representatives of the anal vector of behavior who are categorical in their beliefs label potential partners. They are squeamish and disdainful of women (in most cases, it is men who manifest the anal vector of behavior) who have entered into intimate relationships with several partners.

Sensitive individuals with a good sense of smell are receptive to smells and tastes. For them, the world around them is nothing but associations. Representatives of the smell vector are characterized by social phobia, on the basis of which philemaphobia develops. Representatives of the tactile vector of behavior are afraid not only of kisses on the lips, but also of any other contact. Touching brings pain, discomfort and severe discomfort. It is very difficult for such individuals to overcome philemaphobia.

An erroneous model of upbringing affects the perception of people around them of representatives of the visual vector of behavior. Negative experiences of relationships in the family affect the behavior of an adult. For him, kissing on the lips or touching is real torture.

How to overcome fear and get rid of a phobia

The older the patient, the more difficult it is to cope with the phobia, but recovery can be achieved at any age. Success depends on the desire and activity of the person himself, and the correct treatment. That is why it is better to immediately contact a psychologist.

What you can do yourself

If pathology has not subdued you, and fear has not become obsessive, then you can do something yourself.

How to overcome fear and get rid of a phobia:

Be careful if you wear braces or if you or your partner have a lip piercing;
practice auto-training (self-hypnosis, reading affirmations in front of a mirror);
Talk openly about your fears with your partner or loved one.

If you are embarrassed by the condition of your teeth or bad breath, then visit a dentist or gastroenterologist. A specialist will help solve the problem.

How to overcome the fear of the first kiss? You need to overcome the fear of failure and fear of rejection. First, you need to understand that refusals and failures happen to everyone. It's part of experience and development. Secondly, you need to learn to better understand other people and pick up non-verbal signals from the opposite sex.

Destroying Fears

Destroying fear involves getting closer to it. If you can kiss a loved one without a panic attack, then this can be considered a success. Instill in yourself the idea of the irrationality of fear and get closer to it: viewing photos, videos, a personal kiss on the forehead, cheek, lips. It is recommended to use art therapy. And also in this matter, the support of your partner is important; only together can you overcome the barrier.

Kissing techniques for treatment

You can find dozens of kissing techniques on the Internet, but psychologists note that there is no universal and correct technique, just as no two people or relationships are the same. You need to learn to understand, listen, feel your partner. This is true in everything: conversation, caresses, kisses. However, one of the techniques is recognized as healing - the Japanese kiss technique.

Advice from psychologists

Professional treatment uses individual and group psychotherapy. First, with the help of psychoanalysis, a psychologist determines the root cause of fear. At the same time, the psychologist analyzes the characteristics of the client’s development and life, the leading traits of his character, worldview, and conditions of upbringing. Based on the history obtained, the psychologist offers a correction program and exercises for joint and independent work.

How to overcome the fear of the first kiss:

Imagine it. Feel the tastes, smells, emotions, feelings. Imagine your partner’s attractive behavior, advances on his part, and reciprocal attraction to you. Imagine the kiss itself in detail.
Remember one of the heroes of the film. Imagine yourself in the image of a macho (fatal beauty), get used to the role.
Remember any victory, not necessarily in the area of intimate relationships.

All three methods help to gain self-confidence. If they don't help, then try the opposite method of getting rid of fear. Imagine the worst-case scenario. Having experienced the negative in advance, the psyche will not want to return to it again, the anxiety will ease.

Philemophobia

Philemophobia manifests itself as a fear of kissing in general. Those who have it try to avoid kissing under a variety of pretexts, sometimes inventing completely outlandish stories. But it happens that they honestly admit their phobia and ask their partner to treat them with understanding. In some cases, philemophobia does not go too far, and the person can kiss, although he overcomes himself in doing so. In other, more rare cases, people categorically refuse kisses, the very thought of which is unbearable for them. Under certain circumstances, this can put a normal sex life at risk.

There can be many reasons for philemophobia. For example, a bad experience with the first, and if you were very unlucky, then with subsequent kisses. Such as a rude refusal with ridicule, or a strong bad breath from a partner, or, even worse, a forced kiss from an unpleasant person that had to be endured. Such circumstances can greatly traumatize an unformed young psyche and turn them away for a long time from kissing even attractive and desirable people.

Another cause of philemophobia is the fear of contracting some disease. In the human mouth there are about 40,000 bacteria of up to 400 different species. But this does not mean that they, like watchdogs, will rush at the one who has invaded the owner’s mouth. The microflora in the mouth of a healthy person is quite safe. But there is one small caveat. Recent research shows that the set of microorganisms constantly present in the human mouth is unique, and theoretically allows for personal identification like fingerprints. And this set varies greatly depending on nationality. In other words, members of distant ethnic groups living in different parts of the world may have very different microbes in their mouths. Therefore, residents of Europe should exercise caution in close physical contact with permanent residents, for example, of Africa or Indochina.

A less justified cause of philemophobia are various fantasies of impressionable people, which have acquired the status of permanent and obsessive. These fantasies are numerous and varied, and are combinations of imaginary physical, biological and mystical threats. Physical ones include variations on the theme of intentional or accidental traumatization of the tongue by the teeth of a partner, or on the theme of suffocation during a kiss. A biological threat may appear to come either from microbes unknown to science or from the penetration of biological material from another person. Mystical threats are most often thought of as the danger of unwanted personality transformation under the influence of information transmitted through saliva.

The danger and consequences of philemaphobia

Because of the fear of kissing, the quality of personal and intimate life suffers. Most philemaphobes refuse relationships altogether. A phobia does not interfere with everyday life, does not interfere with professional self-realization, but it spoils personal life and interferes with the building of love and family. The patient becomes a recluse, his life turns into a “home-work-home” system. If the patient is afraid of any kisses, even friendly ones, then any exit from the house turns into stress, then work and meetings with friends are also under threat.

It is important! Because of loneliness and internal torment, neuroses and depression develop. Constant tension leads to the development of psychosomatic diseases.

How to overcome the fear of your first kiss

It's normal to be afraid of the first kiss. This is the main thing to understand. You also need to remember:

a person in love will always enjoy a kiss from his beloved, no matter how awkward and clumsy it may turn out to be;
Everyone knows how to kiss, it’s just a matter of the partners’ “technique” matching;
Some people won’t like kissing a specific person, and some people won’t even be able to be pulled away from him by the ears - the secret is only in the presence of feelings.

The first kiss is a good indicator of mutual sympathy. If everything went well, then the relationship has a chance to develop. Hostility that arises during a kiss is a sign that it is better not to get involved with a person (sometimes the body notices the discrepancy between people in advance).

I'm afraid of the first kiss

How often can you hear: “don’t kiss a child on the lips - you’ll infect them!” or “What are you talking about, he’s a boy!” The psychologist says: To begin with, I would like to say that kisses and touches of parents are an integral part of the healthy development of the child. Immediately after birth, the child experiences a lot of stress from a change in environment; after the warm and cozy mother’s tummy, the child finds himself in a strange and cold world around him. Therefore, it is natural that CHILDREN CONSTANTLY NEED WARMTH AND AFTERNESS: they smile when you kiss or hug them, they prefer to fall asleep in your arms or next to their mother, feeling such a familiar smell and the beating of the mother’s heart. And how quickly a bump or a cut finger stops hurting after mom kisses that spot! As for erogenous zones and the early development of sexuality: Yes, of course, all children have erogenous zones, and naturally at this age they are not yet developed, but your kisses will in no case begin to develop them ahead of time, they will begin to develop on their own, and closer to adolescence, in accordance with the laws established by nature. I would also like to add the story of one consultation, when the mother of a seven-year-old child came to me. The child was very aloof, did not communicate with other children, shuddered at every call addressed to him, and at my one attempt to hug him and take his hand, he completely ran away. It seemed like it was a small wild animal. As it turned out later, until he was seven years old, his mother tried not to kiss him at all, and she forbade others too. I don’t want to scare you in any way; such situations are extremely rare. But in conclusion, I would like to say: this is your child, you carried him, gave birth to him and are raising him. And no one except you knows what is best for the child at the moment: to kiss or scold. Always listen to your heart and MOTHER INSTINCT. And kiss your child as often as possible, and not just on the lips. After all, there are so many wonderful places to kiss: hands, feet, cheeks. After all, constantly feeling your gentle touches and your love, your child will grow up kind, sympathetic and gentle. I'm telling you: The word “kiss” is usually associated with something romantic, but we often don’t think that it all starts with a mother’s kiss. Or rather, since the baby is waiting for him in his mother’s belly. Scientists have come to the conclusion that the words we use to soothe a child when he is injured: “Let me kiss you and the pain will go away!” are not groundless. During a kiss, a mother transmits bacteria to the child, which forms immunity from certain diseases, and also reduces the level of anxiety and pain threshold. You need to kiss the child. A child needs at least four strong hugs and kisses per day for life, eight for health, 12 for growth!!! Children who are not kissed grow up unsure of themselves, with low self-esteem, anxious, and with a lot of complexes. Often, when boys are three or four years old, their mother stops hugging and kissing them, being afraid to raise him to be a “girl.” But in reality, “KISSED” BOYS GROW UP TO BE MEN who respect themselves, who know how and are not afraid to love, who know how to give love to others! How can a person give away what he has not received??? Therefore, kiss, hug, say gentle words. Through such trifles, at first glance, you convey to your child such vital thoughts as “I am loved, no matter what...”, “I am needed...”, “I am worthy of something...”, “ I am protected..." and much more. And also, if you are interested, through a kiss from someone, and from mother to child in particular, information is transmitted to the brain, and it produces the following hormones: Adrenaline - increases the heart rate; Oxytocin - helps develop a feeling of affection; Dopamine - needed to process emotions and pain; Serotonin - affects a person’s mood and feelings. And still interesting!!! Scientists have noticed that approximately 2/3 of the entire population tilts their head to the right when kissing. There is an assumption that we learned this in the womb of our mother!!! Kiss your children! They remember these kisses...

How to overcome the fear of the first kiss?

First you need to work through the fear of rejection. In short, for this you need, firstly, to realize that refusal is normal, and not make a tragedy out of it, learn to regularly receive refusals, and live happily with it. And it is also necessary to remember about female coquetry, which may not allow you to immediately respond with consent even to a proposal that a woman was looking forward to. Secondly, you need to learn to recognize the hidden sexual signals given by women and men so that you never make a mistake with a proposal.

Now a few words about skill. A kiss is a type of caress designed to enhance sexual arousal. Of course, you can approach the matter in detail and study the relevant literature. But is this really necessary? After all, one person is different from another, and what is pleasant to one may leave another indifferent. Therefore, there is not and cannot be a single technology for sexual caresses. Instead of trying to master the technique from textbooks, I would recommend ordinary attentiveness and the ability to draw conclusions. When touching your partner, no matter what - with your hand or tongue - try to catch the feedback. After just a few such experiences, you will master the technique of caressing or kissing much better than following any instructions.

When it comes to bad breath, there are just a few instructions you need to follow. Firstly, you need to clearly understand that no toothpastes or chewing gums can replace a dentist. If periodontal disease, caries, tartar and other troubles occur, bad breath is guaranteed. Therefore, in any case, the oral cavity must be tidied up with the help of a professional. When this is done, you can brush your teeth in the morning, and before the intended kiss, chew mint chewing gum for no more than 10 minutes. This will be quite enough if you didn’t overeat on garlic or onions yesterday.

Ways to deal with the fear of kissing

If the question is limited solely to fears before the first kiss, then therapy in this case is not worth it. When we are talking about people of reproductive or fairly mature age, it is necessary to immediately get rid of the sounded misfortune.

Independent actions for philemaphobia

Internal fears quite often have such a complex nature of formation that they cannot be dealt with alone. However, when asking how to overcome the fear of kissing, you can somehow mitigate the problem that has arisen:

Autotraining (self-hypnosis)

. If the matter does not concern a feeling of disgust towards a kiss as such a phenomenon, then the matter is the presence of inferiority complexes in a person. Therefore, it is worth looking for the reason not in the existing factor, but in the reason for its formation. In combination with auto-training, yoga classes can help, in which performing physical exercises strengthens not only the body, but also the spirit of any person.

Accuracy when kissing

. This point should be taken into account by people who wear braces. Love is love, but you can make your chosen one and yourself a philemaphobe for a long time if you cause physical harm to each other during a kiss.

Frank conversation with your partner

. If people respect each other, then any problem can be solved without a painful break in relations in the future. In this case, I immediately remember Irina Muravyova’s phrase in the movie “Moscow Doesn’t Believe in Tears” that a loving person will forgive everything. In this situation, we are talking about elementary understanding, which will help verify the sincerity of the chosen one’s feelings. However, when talking with him, you should be extremely correct, using words like “let’s try better like this” or “we haven’t experimented like this for a long time.”

Zero goal

. The expression that all means are fair in the struggle for love does not sound great in all life situations. There is no need to create barricades and then courageously overcome them. Humanity has already been to Space and conquered many mountain peaks. Why create a bicycle when it has already been designed and used a long time ago. The object of affection should not feel like a laboratory mouse, because then the fear of kissing can become the smallest disaster in a couple’s relationship.

Quitting alcohol and cigarettes

. Both a gentleman and a lady should not resemble a tobacco stand or liquor store before kissing. This factor applies to both partners, who are either just looking at each other or have already formed a stable couple. Philemaphobia often occurs because the person you like smokes or drinks strong drinks.

A trip to the dentist and gastroenterologist
. Bad breath can be either a result of a malfunction of the gastrointestinal tract or a consequence of deteriorating teeth. Only the person whose significant other has gotten rid of the problem mentioned above can cease to be a philemaphobe.

Treatment course with a psychotherapist for philemaphobia

In this case, the expression “together we are strong” carries a double meaning. The described pathology is a rather rare problem, because hearts that love each other rarely suffer from the voiced factor of hostility when kissing. If rejection from each other becomes an obvious phenomenon, then you should listen to the following advice from experts:

Group therapy

. Under the leadership of a competent doctor, so-called interest associations are created. The psychotherapist exclusively decides the issue of forming such “islands” of rehabilitation for his clients. If philemaphobe falls into the hands of a competent physician, then he will be able to solve his problem in a fairly short period of time. In such small groups, both boys and girls work on themselves, which gives them the opportunity to share their problems with each other after the first meeting. In some cases, such collective classes even create couples, which later become a strong family.

The Fear Destroyer Method

. When hearing therapy, one immediately remembers the cartoon film about the dragon Fear-Boy, who actually wanted to become a harmless lark. Consequently, a rehabilitation system developed by a specialist is triggered, which initially further aggravates the existing fear, and then, with the help of a psychotherapist, completely destroys it.

Learning Japanese kissing techniques
. When phrased this way, some people will smile skeptically. However, you should not rush to your conclusions, because this technique has proven itself well both in Asia and Europe. A person with this problem should find not only a psychotherapist, but also a specialist in the art of kissing, Sepun.

How to get rid of philemaphobia - watch the video:

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Philemaphobia - fear of kisses

Most people love to kiss. thus showing affection and love for a partner, which is why it is so difficult for an ordinary person to imagine the existence of such a phenomenon as philemophobia.

If for most people a kiss is a source of pleasure and tenderness, then for philemaphobes it symbolizes a feeling of extreme discomfort and enormous stress.

The causes of this type of phobia can be very diverse. Someone may be afraid of losing control over themselves, of not being able to control what is happening during a kiss. There are those who are simply disgusted by the violation of their personal space, making them feel squeezed, depriving them of a comfortable personal zone separate from strangers. Someone could be kissed forcibly (in case of rape, etc.), then the fear develops into a fear of kisses in general. In addition to the above, the reasons for the fear of a kiss may lie in other phobias similar to it. For example, in hedonophobia, i.e. fear of having fun when a person is relentlessly haunted by thoughts of imminent retribution for the pleasant moments experienced. There are cases where philemaphobia was caused by fear of foreign bacteria entering the body - bacteriophobia.

There is no need to say that the normal participation of a philemaphobe in the social life of society is extremely difficult. Philemaphobia, if left untreated, can lead to fear of relationships. loneliness and, as a consequence, the inability to start a family.

Philemaphobes sometimes try to overcome their painful fear, but many attempts end in panic attacks, accompanied by standard symptoms: severe dizziness, nausea, rapid heartbeat, trembling, severe stress. To relieve them, medications are used: sedatives, beta blockers, however, their constant use is impossible.

The phobia requires treatment. For this purpose, methods of NLP, hypnotherapy and group therapy sessions that have already been proven in similar cases are used.