How I saved my son from computer addiction

• June 11, 2019
• Child psychology
• Ivan Frolov

The appeal of today's ubiquitous video games is based primarily on exciting special effects. They are the ones who attract children and teenagers who spend a lot of time in front of TV, computer or smartphone screens. This takes away time that they could spend productively playing sports, learning other life skills, enjoying active play, and developing and strengthening their bodies.

When children constantly receive emotions only through computer games, they develop a need for instant entertainment, which reduces their attention span and impairs auditory processing skills. Research has linked excessive gaming to conditions such as depression, anxiety and social phobia. Common sense dictates that too much time spent playing online games has a negative impact on the healthy development of the younger generation. Therefore, modern parents are increasingly faced with the question of how to wean their child off the computer.

Epidemiology of Internet addiction

Ivan Goldberg, a psychiatrist from New York, first described a condition he called Internet addiction disorder in 1995, and defined it as an inappropriate pattern of Internet use leading to clinical impairment or distress characterized by the presence of typical symptoms. He also explained how to wean a child off the computer. Since Internet addiction entered the medical lexicon for the first time in 1996, an increasing number of studies have been devoted to the study of epidemiology, diagnostic criteria, neurobiological, psychosocial and neuropsychological aspects, as well as pharmacological and non-pharmacological management, which provides a sufficient knowledge base for conceptualization, detection, diagnosis, characterization and treatment of pathology.

Teenagers, while on the Internet, do not limit themselves only to games; they spend a lot of time on music, movies and social networks. The number of people susceptible to this disease increases depending on age:

• 14.1% – 11 years;
• 25.8% – 13 years;
• 33.7% – 15 years.

Among these categories: 26.8% are boys, 21.9% are girls. In studies conducted in the United States, Internet addiction rates ranged from 0.7% to 8.1%. In Asia, adolescents and young adults show larger variations, ranging from 2.4% to 17.9%. In Europe the rate was 2%, in Norway - 3.1%, in Finland - 5.4%, in Italy - 5.8%, in Poland - 8.2% and in England - 18.3%, respectively. It is not surprising that Asian countries and England are most concerned about the problem of how to wean a child off the computer.

A recent 2020 analysis examining the prevalence of internet addiction in 31 countries from 7 regions of the world established an overall estimate and key differences. It has been proven that its level is 3 times higher than that of gambling - 0.7% versus 2.1%. In particular, higher prevalence has been found in countries with poor quality of life, high levels of pollution, unemployment and poor health conditions. These data make it possible to take into account the environment in which addiction arises in order to correctly select preventive measures in each specific case, before weaning the child off the computer and phone.

The growth of Internet users in Russia is growing at a gigantic pace:

• 2010 - 43.3 million people;
• 2015 - 78.0 million people;
• 2017 – 87.0 million people, 73.0%;
• 2018 – > million people, 81.0% of the total population of the country.

The number of addicts is growing at the same rate. WHO was forced to respond to the problem by finally recognizing Internet addicts as sick people. This was required in order to develop medical techniques and preventive measures that doctors could use before weaning a child off the computer.

Psychiatrists are sounding the alarm

People admit to being addicted to video games, especially when it comes to children who spend too much time in front of screens, sometimes more than 12 hours a day. In most cases, even if they themselves realize that they are addicted, they still do not consider it a disease in the clinical sense. They like the Internet, they are not going to change anything in their lives. With this approach to your own health, the Internet funnel is completely drawn out, and there comes a time when the habit interferes with normal functioning.

And if in the early 90s of the last century this happened to approximately 1 percent of online players, today the figure has reached 18% and continues to grow. Game creators do not worry about how to wean a teenager from the computer; on the contrary, they make every effort to tie players to their games. For this purpose, predictive algorithms and principles of behavioral economics are used, thereby forcing the gamer to roam.

Games become exciting because they trigger the brain's reward system and shape the child's behavior. Research in the US has shown that video games can have the same impact on children as drug abuse or alcoholism. The impulse part of the brain known as the amygdala becomes smaller and more sensitive in addicted users, thereby responding to the online environment to process gaming stimuli more quickly.

Computer addictions manifest themselves in several ways that span varying degrees and areas of Internet use. Before distracting your child from the computer, you need to correctly understand their sources:

1. Information overload. Too much internet surfing leads to decreased productivity at work and decreased interaction with family members.
2. Compulsions. Excessive time spent on online activities such as gaming, stock trading, gambling and even auctions often leads to loss of money and problems at work.
3. Cybersex addiction. Surfing too many forbidden sites often affects real-life personal relationships.
4. Cyber ​​addiction. Excessive use of social networking sites to create relationships rather than spending time with family or friends can destroy real life connections.

How it develops

Conventionally, psychologists distinguish three stages of development of mental disorder:

• 
  First

  . The desire to play increases, but the motive “to play or not to play” is still absent. If necessary, the teenager easily puts the gadget aside and does what he was asked to do. Gradually, the time spent on the phone/computer increases.
• Second . It is becoming less and less common for a patient to force himself to put the gadget aside. Even if he understands that he needs to do something important, he still plays until the last minute. Because of this, he doesn’t manage to do anything, he’s late everywhere. Gradually the game becomes rampant. The teenager begins to believe in fortune and luck. He develops strange superstitious rituals.
• Third . The addiction to the game is so strong that the child cannot interrupt it on his own. Only adults can force him to do this. If you don't touch the child, he will play for hours. During breaks between games, the patient thinks about quick victories, comes up with new combinations and profitable moves.

The easiest way to cure gambling addiction is in the first stage. Here parents can cope on their own. You just need to limit access to your favorite gadget and control it so that your child doesn’t start playing again. At the second and third stages of the disease, the help of a psychologist is mandatory.

Symptoms and consequences of addiction

Experts note that even play has serious negative consequences for many children. Before distracting a child from the computer, determine what type his behavior is close to:

1. Obsessive behavior - the child is always preoccupied with returning to play and is irritable, restless and aggressive when not playing.
2. Lack of sleep - Children who play a lot may do so continuously until the early hours of the morning. This leads to sleep deprivation, which is more harmful to the developing brain, affecting their attention and learning, causing headaches and feeling tired during the day.
3. Lack of physical exercise - children who play a lot exercise less or do not engage in outdoor games at all. This leads to other health problems, as well as the loss of the opportunity to develop the brain, since exercise is good for it, which should be a strong argument before weaning a child from playing on the computer.
4. Excessive use of a mouse or controller can lead to carpal tunnel syndrome. Many players also complain of dry eyes, migraines and back pain.
5. Social isolation. Constant play takes away children's time to interact with family members and friends. Being isolated most of the time, they do not develop the social skills they will need in life.

Emotional symptoms of Internet addiction, which are established for a specific case before weaning a teenager off the computer:

• guilt;
• anxiety;
• depression;
• dishonesty;
• euphoric sensations in front of the computer;
• lack of sense of time;
• insulation;
• headache;
• weight gain or loss;
• sleep disturbance;
• carpal tunnel syndrome;
• blurred or strained vision.

What formats of online games are there?

Roskachestvo recommends that parents find out what format of games their child has chosen. This will allow you to predict possible expenses, take measures in advance to protect the family budget and predict what the consequences of excessive involvement in this type of leisure may be.

How to spot a gambling addict? More details

Based on payment types, games today are divided into the following formats:

Buy-to-play

This format allows users to purchase a game once, after which they can play it for an unlimited amount of time. However, various services may be available inside the game that allow you to purchase additional levels or so-called “visual innovations” for money: special armor, hero weapons, etc. Purchasing innovations allows players to get what they want instantly, without having to “earn” it all over hundreds of game hours.

Free-to-play

This is a shareware game that can be downloaded without any payment. However, after completing several levels, the player is faced with the need to deposit money. Payment will be required in order to continue completing new levels. According to experts, it will be difficult for a child to give up the desire to spend money, since there is always a spirit of competition in such games. It will encourage the player to acquire more and more funds necessary to reach a new level.

This game format is the most popular among the younger generation. It also causes the greatest dependence, as noted in the Russian quality system

Question answer

At what age should a child be allowed to use a tablet or computer?
Pay-to-play
This is a subscription game that you need to pay for every month. Typically, in this model there are no additional costs within the game or they are kept to a minimum. However, this game requires a monthly payment, which is almost impossible to cover with in-game “currency”.

The Internet creates a generation of weaklings

Computer technology has changed the way we interact with the world, allowing people to communicate more effectively and simplifying access to information resources. The younger generation is growing up with this technology, although it has its advantages, for example in the areas of education and access to information. But it also harms children during puberty and affects their physiological and psychological health. It is important for all participants in the process to understand this before weaning a child from computer games.

Types of Internet Harm:

1. Poor concentration, constantly switching between programs, games or videos makes it difficult to concentrate on assignments, which can affect a student's studies and grades.
2. Obesity and injury. The effect of a computer on a child’s posture is caused by sitting for many hours, which leads to obesity, back problems, and the use of a keyboard causes hand injuries, tendinitis and carpal tunnel syndrome.
3. A similar addiction develops when a child has a lot of computer time. This often leads to withdrawal symptoms when the child is at the PC, he avoids physical activity and becomes less sociable, tending to spend more and more time in front of the monitor. Therefore, you need to be very persistent before weaning your child off computer games.
4. Poor social skills due to frequent online presence can lead to loneliness and depression, which can be detrimental to health, relationships and learning.

Master class on building a dressing room

For inexperienced craftsmen, there are video tutorials and detailed instructions on how to make a dressing room with your own hands. The entire construction process can be divided into several stages:

1. Creating a drawing, counting consumables.
2. Frame assembly.
3. Door assembly.
4. Auxiliary work on communications to the dressing room

Each stage is carried out sequentially, and its plan depends on the chosen model of the dressing room.

Note!

• Ikea wardrobe: pros and cons of Ikea furniture. A variety of models and colors of dressing rooms. Photo and video reviews of the main collections from designers
• Built-in dressing room: pros and cons of a built-in dressing room. Tips for choosing a location. Making doors (photo + video)
• Dressing room project: TOP-160 photos and video reviews of dressing room projects. Varieties of layout and installation, choice of size and content

Emotional costs

Children who lack supportive family relationships or suffer from poor social skills are at greater risk of developing online habits. Because they feel lonely, alienated and may have trouble making new friends, they turn to invisible strangers in online chat rooms in search of attention that is missing in real life. Such children usually live in problematic families or experience bullying at school or in extracurricular environments. Because of which they solve their problems by spending time on the Internet. Socially, they learn to socialize with friends rather than develop personal relationships with peers.

The famous work of researcher Jean Tweng showed a strong connection between time spent on screens, depression and suicidality in adolescents. Experts have established a period of time for how long a child can sit in front of a computer. This work found that teens who spend more time on social media, the Internet, texting and gaming are more likely to consider suicide: 48% of those who spend five or more hours a day on their phones and 28% of those who spend more time on their phones. teenagers who are online no more than an hour a day. Thus, teens who spend more time playing sports, doing homework, socializing with friends in real life, and going to church have a lower risk of depression and suicidality.

Causes of computer addiction

It is very easy to miss the moment when a child, who just yesterday spent no more than an hour in front of the monitor, suddenly begins to lash out at relatives when they try to “tear” him away from the computer. However, the computer itself does not cause any harm to the young user, naturally, if the proper operating mode is observed.

The reasons for computer addiction in teenagers can be different, but it is always an attempt to escape from some problems that haunt the child in the real world. For example:

• Conflicts in the family.

It is well known that if a child develops psychological problems, then most likely something is wrong in his family.

The scale of family conflicts can be different: this is the workload of adults that is common in our time, and really stressful situations for a child, such as constant quarrels between parents or even divorce. In any case, the child has a desire to somehow escape from problems. When computers did not yet exist, children escaped into the imaginary world of books or got involved with bad companies on the street. Nowadays, the virtual world serves as a haven for such children.

• Low self-esteem.

In order to be popular at school, a child at all times needed to communicate a lot, be the “life of the party,” have leadership qualities and be able to stand up for himself. And each generation has its own attributes of success. Today these are modern gadgets, such as the latest iPhone model, smart watch or expensive tablet. However, not all parents have the financial ability to provide their children with such devices. As a result, a child who has not found his company among his peers withdraws into himself and tries to make up for the lack of communication with the help of a computer.

However, violation of the computer work schedule, even for a successful and sociable child, can result in computer addiction. Multiplayer role-playing games are especially dangerous, which are often played by entire groups, completely excluding communication in the real world. Such games require tighter control over the time children spend in the game world.

• Lack of communication.

It happens that parents do not have the opportunity to spend quality time with their children. In this case, the child usually tries to compensate for the lack of communication with his parents either by communicating with other relatives, with peers, with teachers, if he is sufficiently sociable, or by constantly “sitting” at the computer. For teenagers, this problem usually translates into a lack of communication with friends. Here, parental help should be unobtrusive so as not to offend your child.

Aggressive socialization

The Internet is making children lonely, and more and more teenagers are unable to work in groups. The teachers try their best to get them to participate in any team activities, but they choose to stare at the monitors instead. You can verify this by watching how they talk to each other. Young people, both boys and girls, are often socially aggressive. In most cases, it is the Internet that socializes them in this way.

Understanding the negative impact of the computer on the psyche of children is very important for both parents, who must represent a united front in protecting the family. Everyone must take this issue seriously and agree on common goals and actions. Discuss the situation together and, if necessary, try to achieve the desired results while being on the same platform in relation to the child. If this is not done, the child will find his protective niche with a more “compassionate” parent and will effectively take advantage of this, and all preventive measures will be nullified.

The impact of computers on children's health is immediate and inevitable. The family needs to be prepared for the likely emotional reaction of a child who is addicted to the Internet when he feels threatened by restrictions. It is important not to react to emotions, not to give a lecture about disrespect, but to recognize his feelings, focusing on the topic of dosed Internet, and demonstrate your concern for his health. Parents should reassure their child that they are not judging him, but are concerned about the deterioration of his physical and mental condition. It is recommended to keep an online log of attendance to demonstrate the real facts and reasons for behavior change: fatigue, lower grades, abandonment of hobbies, social withdrawal and other negative processes.

Computer addiction in adolescents. How to overcome addiction?

The most difficult thing to overcome is an emerging computer addiction in a teenager. Under no circumstances should you resort to aggressive measures of influence, such as: demonstratively shutting down the Internet or refusing to give out pocket money under the pretext of a ban on paying for online games. Such methods can only lead to a negative result due to the characteristics of the transition period in a teenager.

First of all, you need to understand the reasons that prompt your child to spend nights in front of the monitor. Perhaps only there he can communicate with his friends who are on the other side of the globe or with his love, whom he met online. Respect your child's feelings, even if at first glance they seem naive and funny to you. Set logical limits and explain to your child why you set them.

If your child simply has nothing to do, help him find a hobby he likes. Enroll him in the section you like or send him to courses. The main thing is that this activity brings him pleasure and fascinates him more than the computer.

If he is seriously interested in programming, animation, design or creating electronic music, support him, if necessary, not only morally, but also financially. Enroll in paid professional courses or hire a private tutor, provide relevant literature, and so on.

If the hobby is somehow related to the computer, make sure that your child feels not only moral support, but also material support. For example, programming or design courses.

Monitor affecting children's brains

It will likely be decades before scientists truly understand how smartphones and other digital technologies affect the brain. Nevertheless, the first results of scientists' research on the influence of computers on child development are already causing concern. Using MRI to track changes in children's brains, children exposed to screens for more than 7 hours a day show physical changes in the form of premature depletion of the cerebral cortex.

Another recent study found that the brain chemistry of children who become addicted to the Internet is different from that of children who do not have the disorder. In particular, changes were seen in the brain's reward circuits, in the relationship of the neurotransmitter GABA to other neurotransmitters.

Interestingly, these changes tend to reverse when teens undergo cognitive behavioral therapy for addiction. Other studies confirm that cells in one of the brain's reward regions, the nucleus accumbens, are activated when participants view Instagram and pictures with a lot of likes, again suggesting that social media use may influence the development of addiction.

Disconnection from social networks

Experts believe that teenagers between the ages of 8 and 12 should not have social media accounts. There is growing evidence that competition and constant social media connection are not only addictive, but equally damaging to mental and emotional health.

Constant selfies and the never-ending process of checking users' answers create an addiction to the social network, forcing the brain to work overtime to make the next move. Such children do not accept any restrictions, if they do not have their own phone, they will find access to the network through a friend’s phone or other alternative ways to satisfy their desires.

The first thing parents need to do, before distracting their child from the computer and tablet, is to check how many social media accounts they have. If there is more than one account, only one should be left. This can be done by changing account passwords for one and disabling all others, preventing them from being used on other devices.

To be on the safe side, you'll need to disable your phone's ability to download apps without parental permission. On iPhone, you will need to disable the ability to download apps in Parental Restrictions settings. The iPhone comes pre-installed with Facebook and Twitter, which are also recommended to be blocked in the privacy section of parental restrictions.

How to get rid of gambling addiction?

Experts believe that gaming addiction is mostly similar to other types of addiction. You should not distance yourself if a loved one exhibits symptoms of gambling addiction. It is important to start working to rid a relative or friend of a harmful hobby. You should not resort to persuasion, accusations, or shaming. These actions will lead to the person simply withdrawing into himself or showing aggression. It’s best to contact a specialist to understand where it all started.

It is possible that gambling addiction is a consequence of family problems. Most often, parents have ceased to be interested in the lives of their children, and their spouses have ceased to be interested in their other halves. You need to provide support to your loved one so that he can talk about his problems.

Reasonable rules and boundaries

In order to control their child, parents will need to become Internet savvy. Checking story folders and online logs, learning parental control software, and setting filters require some computer literacy. It is important for everyone to learn terminology, both technical and popular, and master the computer in order to know what the child is doing on the Internet. Then you can set reasonable rules and boundaries before child locking your computer.

Many parents become angry when they see signs of Internet addiction in their child and take away the computer as punishment. Others are scared and force the child to quit the harmful activity, believing that this is the only way to get rid of the problem. Both approaches are wrong: the child will view parents as enemies rather than allies, and suffer from nervousness, anger and irritability syndromes.

Instead, experts advise setting clear boundaries to limit Internet use, perhaps an hour after homework with a few extra hours on weekends. Adults will be required to strictly adhere to their rules in order to help the child cope with a serious illness.

Return to the family

In order to overcome addiction, all family members will have to work hard. Cooperation and respect must be the tools of this selection process. The best way to wean children off internet addiction is for them to experience for themselves the benefits of real life versus virtual life.

Here are some tips that parents followed to cope with their children’s Internet addiction; they can be taken into account before distracting your child from the computer and phone:

1. Conduct joint video game sessions, let the child teach relatives one of their favorite video games. They may find the game educational, challenging, or bad. This will show your child that they are open and willing to try something new with them. There is a high probability that the child will listen to the opinions of loved ones.
2. Invite the child to keep track of the time spent playing during the week. Show him a visual representation of how much free time is spent online. It is likely that the child did not take this into account and will be surprised by the results. You can offer a list of useful and interesting things and opportunities that he could accomplish in the same time.
3. Organize active joint activities indoors or outdoors for children and their friends.
4. They begin a long-term project to realize the child’s desired goals, which seem unattainable to him. If parents can realize what their child is interested in, then they can help him realize his passion. Most children don't think about the process of long-term projects; you need to show them how to plan and finance them. This will occupy the baby’s consciousness for a long time. For example, build a surfboard, repair an old car, sew a dress, make a tree house, go on a bicycle trip. Such a long-term project with a child will be rewarding for the whole family.
5. Recognize your child's efforts in offline activities. A study by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck found that the way parents offer approval influences children's behavior and attitudes. Dweck conducted studies in which teenagers were given a series of difficult problems on an IQ test. Children who are praised for their intelligence are willing to turn down the opportunity to perform a new task that might expose their shortcomings and challenge their talent.
6. Playing a video game is often a solitary activity. Having lunch or dinner together as a family provides a valuable opportunity for communication. Having a planned meal together helps get kids out of their gaming console bubble and into sharing ideas. Family dinners should be a place for open discussion, where children can discuss their gaming performance if they wish, and where they can also get feedback from all family members, which helps evaluate the time spent playing.

Encouraging children to spend less time playing requires more time from parents. It's not always easy given busy schedules, but it's worth it, especially for a family where health is a top priority. This is the only way to reduce the negative impact of the computer on children.

We use the premises for their intended purpose

For Russian apartments, separating part of the room for a dressing room is the only way out, since developers do not provide a separate room for storing things. Despite this, modern designers have already found several tricks that allow them to arrange a wardrobe even in a small bedroom. For example, a U-shaped or L-shaped set will fit very well into any layout. Thus, it will look very nice and will not interfere at all, since it will be built into the wall.

In any case, the wardrobe has a number of advantages over traditional wardrobes, even the largest ones. For many, this component of the apartment is still the same closet. However, the difference is that the dressing room is not a piece of custom-made furniture, and you can store there not only everyday clothes, but also jackets, coats, shoes, sports gear, and much more, this directly depends on the area allocated for these purposes.

Functional and stylish dressing room

The spacious wardrobe compartment can accommodate:

• Elements of outerwear;
• Travel bags and suitcases;
• Hats, caps, bonnets;
• Underwear;
• Equipment and other equipment for cleaning the apartment;
• Various unnecessary things that I would like to hide from prying eyes;
• Pillows and blankets used only when guests are staying with you;
• Belts, ties and various accessories, you can also provide a compartment for jewelry;
• Indoor and outdoor shoes;
• Some stocks of various cosmetics, including clothing care;
• You can also set up an ironing area here by placing an ironing board and iron in one of the far corners. Provide outlets for this.

The direct purpose of the wardrobe space is to create a specific storage system, thanks to which you no longer have to spend a lot of time searching for the right clothes or shoes.

The most suitable room for arranging a dressing room in it is the bedroom. This is due to the fact that it is in this room that we set ourselves up for the coming day, create our own image, ironing and cleaning certain items of clothing. In order not to lose sight of a single flaw, the dressing room should be equipped with high-quality lighting, but not too glaring.

After the frame is assembled and installed, set aside several areas for arranging lamps. It is very important not to make a mistake with the color of the lamps, since it should not distort the perception or hide any elements of clothing. It is completely undesirable to purchase green, yellow and other lamps that distort the overall picture. Lighting must be as close to natural as possible. It should feel like you are standing by the window on an early sunny morning. This will not only allow you to successfully select every element of your image, but will also lift your mood for the whole day.

Advice! Take care of the correct placement of the lamps, since they should illuminate you from all sides, but not create shadows when you preen yourself near the mirror.