How to avoid scandals and hysterics in a child? My daughter is 9 years old. How not to break a girl?

.

Hysteria is one of the most common phenomena that occurs in women. This behavior can cause serious mental disorders, so it should not be ignored. A hysterical wife jeopardizes not only her health, but also the psychological climate in the family. You can help her calm down at home, but it is better to consult a doctor.

Causes of hysteria

There are many causes of female hysteria, the most common of which are:

1. Wrong upbringing. A family where there were constant fights, scandals, and hysterics. If such behavior was observed on the part of the mother, then the girls adopt the same model of behavior; as adults, they behave in the same way.
2. Inappropriate behavior of the husband. There is a type of man who gets pleasure from driving his wife into hysterics. All this ends in a serious nervous breakdown and psychosis. A hysterical wife may be in a family where her husband pays little attention to her, leaves home, and provokes jealousy and mistrust.
3. Increased emotionality. This is due to the psychological characteristics of a woman’s character, for whom it is easier to throw out her emotions rather than keep them inside.
4. Lack of opportunity for self-realization, constant melancholy, deep depression can cause strong emotional outbursts.
5. Sexual dissatisfaction, premenstrual syndrome and sudden changes in hormonal levels.
6. Lack of self-confidence. A woman who is accustomed to always and in everything relying on her husband, with a sudden loss of attention and care from her husband, can experience severe mental distress, which manifests itself in emotional breakdowns.
7. Development of complexes from childhood. Lack of proper attention and love from parents, sisters and brothers develops a complex of uselessness and fear of always being in the background in family life.
8. Head injuries and concussions.
9. Problems at work and in the family.
10. Chronic alcohol and drug intoxication.

Cause of bitchiness

Why did she become like this? There can be an infinite number of answers to this question. Perhaps, earlier, because of the emotions of falling in love, you did not notice the bitch’s manners in her and considered it a pleasant and piquant feature. And when the emotions subsided, you began to pay more attention to such behavior.

Sometimes women become like this thanks to their upbringing. Your missus’ mother could have deliberately instilled such behavior patterns in her daughter because she herself did not have a good personal life. And she thought it would be safe to make her daughter a bitch.

It happens that men also make a lot of efforts to ensure that a woman turns into an unbearable despot. Bad experiences in the past can radically change a girl's behavior. Once faced with a problem, she decides to forever become cold, selfish and seek happiness only for herself.

Sometimes some women “turn on” the bitch because their spouses are spineless and cannot be a true protector of the family. A woman has to be strong, to carry not only her husband, but also her children. All this does not contribute to femininity, tenderness and softness in character.

In some cases, you can try to resolve the situation within the family. If the reason comes from childhood or psychological trauma, then I strongly do not recommend that you delve into this yourself. You can only make things worse. Contact a psychologist who can competently help both you and your spouse.

Symptoms

Often hysterical symptoms imitate various deviations of internal systems:

• damage to the central nervous system;
• vasospasm;
• angina pectoris;
• infectious diseases;
• myocardial infarction.

The main symptoms of hysteria in women include pain in the heart, spine, chest and abdomen. Even under the influence of painkillers, they do not weaken.

Other rare symptoms: twitching of limbs, eyelids, loss of voice, complete loss of speech, stuttering, sometimes blindness or deafness occurs.

Types of hysterics

There are two forms of manifestation of female hysteria: a hysterical attack and hysterical behavior.

Hysterical attack

The cause of such psychosis can be unpleasant words from a loved one or an unpleasant situation that has arisen at home or at work. Such hysteria is accompanied by tears, screams, stomping feet, sharp gestures, tearing of hair on the head, etc. During this period, the woman’s consciousness turns off and a few minutes after the seizure she may not even remember what happened to her.

There are two ways to stop this psychosis: with cold water or sharp pain. Hysterical attacks can occur regularly, so the woman should be shown to a psychotherapist.

Hysterical behavior

This hysteria in women manifests itself in a different way. A representative of the fairer sex strives to become an object of admiration, envy and surprise. To achieve this, a woman dresses brightly, has her hair cut and made up, and constantly comes up with some unusual stories to attract the attention of the public. You can notice such a hysterical person by behavior in which there is excessive affectation and theatricality. Both young and old women suffer from such psychosis. Often their appearance and behavior do not correspond to their age and social status.

Relapse

Julia's second hospitalization was even more difficult than the first. On quiet nights at home, after putting Jonas to bed, I cringed with the horror of reality: THIS won’t go away. In the psychiatric clinic, Julia fell in love with collecting leaves and scattering them around her room. During my visits, she would unleash a stream of paranoid questions and accusations, then wilt, pick up the leaves and inhale their scent, as if it could hold her thoughts. My thoughts were also running wild. Laing's ideas raised many questions. Should Julia even be in the hospital? Was it really a disease? Did the medications improve or worsen the situation? All these questions added to my sadness and fear and self-doubt.

If Julia had something like cancer or diabetes, she would be in charge of her own treatment; but since she had a mental illness, she didn't do it. No one even really trusted Julia's opinion. Psychiatry is not a field where diagnoses are based on hard data with clear treatment plans. Some particularly prominent psychiatrists have themselves recently harshly criticized their discipline for its inadequate research base. For example, in 2013, Thomas Insel, director of the National Institute of Mental Health, criticized the so-called bible of all psychiatrists, DSM-IV, for its lack of scientific rigor, in particular for the fact that it defines disorders not by objective criteria, but by symptoms. “In other areas of medicine, this would be considered old-fashioned and insufficient, akin to a system of diagnosing the nature of chest pain or the quality of a fever,” he said. Allen Francis, who oversaw the 1994 edition of the DSM and later wrote the book Saving Normal, put it even more bluntly: “There is no definition of mental disorder. It's a bullshit".

Yet the doctors, Julia's parents, and I all made decisions for her. She continued to hate the drugs we forced her to take, but she came out of her second psychosis in much the same way as the first: with the help of drugs. She returned home after 33 days, continuing to experience occasional psychosis, but most of the time in control. She no longer spoke of the devil or the universe, but again she was not with us, deepening into depression and a chemical haze.

During her recovery, Julia attended group therapy classes, and sometimes her friends from this group came to visit us. They sat on the couch and lamented how much they hated medications, doctors, and diagnoses. I felt uncomfortable, and not just because they gave me the nickname Medical Nazi. Their conversations were fueled by information from the anti-psychiatry movement, and this movement is based on the support of patients by patients. That is, mentally ill people are just as mentally ill – regardless of whether the influence of other patients is positive or not. This terrified me.

I feared that the matter of Julia's recovery had been transferred from the hands of sensible, compassionate people - that is, doctors, family and myself - to people like her, who themselves might be psychotic or suicidal.

I wasn't sure how to deal with it, and I was exhausted by our regular fights over compliance and doctor's appointments, so I called Sasha Altman DuBrul, one of the founders of Project Ikarus, an alternative health organization that "seeks to overcome the limitations intended for designation, ordering and sorting of types of human behavior." Project Ikarus believes that the condition that most people think of as mental illness is actually "the space between genius and madness." I didn't really want to call. I did not see the genius in Julia's behavior and did not want to be judged, and I felt guilty. But I needed a fresh look at this struggle. DuBrul immediately calmed me down. He began by saying that each person's experience with mental health problems is unique. It may be obvious, but psychiatry is in some ways built on generalizations (and this is something Insel, Francis, and others criticize: psychiatry, as the DSM describes it, is a directory of generalizing labels based on symptoms). DuBrul did not like the idea of ​​dividing each person's individual experiences into one of several possible boxes.

“I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder,” he told me. – While these terms can be useful for explaining some things, they lack a lot of nuance.

He said he discovered the label “a kind of alienation.” This resonated with me. For Julia, too, none of the diagnoses were completely correct. During her first psychotic outburst, psychiatrists ruled out bipolar disorder; during the second outbreak, three years later, they were sure that it was bipolarity. Additionally, DuBruhl said that regardless of diagnosis, psychiatry “uses terrible language for its definitions.”

Regarding medications, DuBrul believed that the answer to the question of whether to take medication or not should be much more detailed than just “yes” and “no.” The best answer might be “maybe,” “sometimes,” and “only certain medications.” For example, DuBrul shared that he takes lithium every evening because, after four hospitalizations and ten years with a bipolar label, he is confident that the medication is playing a positive role in his therapy. This is not a 100% solution, but it is part of the solution.

This was all very comforting, but when he told me about the concept of Mad maps, I really perked up and began to follow his thoughts closely. He explained to me that, like a will, a “madness map” allows patients with psychiatric diagnoses to outline how they envision themselves being treated during future psychotic crises. The logic is this: if a person can define his health by being healthy, and distinguish a healthy state from a crisis, then such a person can determine how to care for himself. The cards encourage patients and their families to plan ahead—treating exacerbations as possible or more likely—to avoid, or at least minimize, future mistakes.

When Jonas was 16 months old, Julia and I stocked our medicine cabinet with anti-psychosis medication, just in case. This may seem reasonable, but it was actually stupid. We had not yet heard about "madness cards" and therefore had not discussed what the situation would be in which Julia would need to take the medicine, so the medicine was useless. Should she take medication if she hasn't slept much? Or should she wait until the attack occurs? If she has to wait for an attack, she is more likely to become paranoid, meaning she will take the medicine against her will. Convincing her to take the medicine at this point is almost impossible. Let me show you this scenario: Just a few months ago, Julia was painting furniture at midnight. She usually goes to bed early, an hour or two after she puts Jonas to bed. Sleep is important and she knows it. I suggested that she go to bed. “But I’m having fun,” Julia said. “Okay,” I said. - But it’s already midnight. Go to sleep. “No,” she said. – You understand what it looks like? - I said. - What are you talking about? “I’m not saying that you’re manic, but outwardly it looks like an obsession.” Drawing all night, feeling full of energy... - How dare you tell me what to do? Stop controlling my life! You are not the most important! – Julia exploded.

The quarrel continued for several days. Anything that reminded us of our actions during her illness could end badly. So we played nice with Jonas, but for the next 72 hours, every tiny misstep had giant consequences.

Then, a week after the painful fight began, Julia had a tough day at work. When we went to bed, she said quietly: “I’m scared of how tired I feel.” I asked what she meant. She refused to talk: “I don’t want to talk about it because I need to sleep, but I’m scared.”

And this, in turn, scared the hell out of me. She was worried about her state of mind. I tried to suppress my anger and fear that she did not care about her health. But I didn’t sleep, I blamed her for it, and the quarrel continued again for several days.

Now Julia has been healthy for more than a year. She is thriving at work, I have returned to teaching, and we adore our son Jonas. Life is good. Mostly.

Julia takes the medication in a dosage that is sufficient for it to work but without unpleasant side effects. But even in our happiest moments, as husband and wife, father and mother, we feel within ourselves persistent traces of the roles of caregiver and patient. Psychiatric crises happen sporadically, but they deeply wound our relationships, healing these wounds takes years. When Julia is sick, I act for her in a way that is in her best interests, and in a way that I understand because I love her, and at this time she cannot make decisions for herself. On any of these days, during a crisis, if you ask her, “Hey, what are you going to do this afternoon?”, she might answer, “Jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.” For me, it's about keeping our family together: paying the bills, not losing my job, taking care of Julia and our son.

Now, if I tell her to go to bed, she complains that I am telling her what to do, controlling her life. And this is true because I really tell her what to do and control her life for months. Meanwhile, I notice that she doesn't take enough care of herself. This dynamic is not unique—it exists in many families experiencing a psychiatric crisis. The former guardian continues to worry. The former (and perhaps future) patient feels trapped in a patronizing pattern.

This is where the “madness map” gave us a glimmer of hope. Finally, Julia and I did it, and now, following it, I have to admit that in some ways Laing was right: the issue of treating psychosis is a matter of power. Who decides what behavior is acceptable? Who chooses when and how to enforce the rules? We started trying to create a chart for Julia while discussing the pills in the doctor's office. Under what circumstances will Julia take them and for how long? My approach was tough: one sleepless night - the maximum dosage of pills. Julia asked for more time to transition to medication and preferred to start with a lower dosage. Having outlined our positions, we began a heated argument, punching holes in each other’s logic. In the end, we had to resort to the help of Julia's psychiatrist to resolve this issue. Now we have a plan - one bottle of pills. This is not a victory yet, but a giant step in the right direction, in a world where such steps are generally rare.

We still have a lot to decide, and most of these issues are terribly complex. Julia still wants to have three children before she turns 35. I am interested in avoiding a third hospitalization. And when we try to schedule discussions about these topics, we know that we are, in fact, creating space for an argument in advance. However, I believe in these conversations because when we sit together and discuss medication dosages, or timing for pregnancy, or the risks of taking lithium during pregnancy, we are essentially saying, “I love you.” I might say, “I think you're in a hurry,” but the subtext will be, “I want you to be healthy and happy, I want to spend my life with you. I want to hear what you disagree with me about, regarding the most personal things, so that we can be together.” And Julia might say, “Give me more space,” but in her heart it’s like, “I appreciate what you’ve done for me and I support you in everything you do, let’s fix this.”

Julia and I fell in love with each other effortlessly, in our carefree youth. Now we love each other desperately, through all the psychoses. We promised this to each other at the wedding: to love each other and be together in sorrow and in joy. Looking back, I think we should have also promised to love each other when life returned to normal again. It is the normal days, transformed by the crisis, that most test the strength of our marriage. I understand that no “crazy cards” will prevent Julia from going to the hospital, and will not prevent our quarrels about her treatment. However, the faith required to plan our life together gives us a strong foundation. And I'm still willing to do almost anything to make Julia smile.

Source

Read on Zozhnik:

The artist depicted 10 psychological disorders

Doctor, I have problems with Russia. Psychologists tell you what to do

10 myths about psychology and their debunking

Mental disorders on fingers

Psychological aspects of fitness

The impact of tantrums on the family

Many men don’t know what to do if their wife is hysterical. Not every representative of the stronger sex is ready to tolerate such emotional outbursts in their family. Most men want a family in which there will be peace, mutual understanding and harmony. Living with a mentally unstable partner is simply unbearable for many. If a girl behaved adequately before marriage, and after marriage began to regularly show hysterics, sooner or later the same outcome awaits her:

1. The man will immediately leave her.
2. At first, the husband will try to understand the reason for the hysterics and try to calm his wife down. But even the most patient husband will not be able to withstand such regular shaking, so divorce is inevitable.

Only some husbands can tolerate an unhealthy situation in the family and accept a woman for who she is.

A man who really wants to save his marriage should stock up on endurance and patience, since this problem cannot be eliminated quickly.

What to do with a wife-saw?

There is a type of wives that people call “saws.” These are the same young ladies who are ready to harass a man from morning to evening with their chatter, which is far from harmless. All her passionate speeches, as a rule, are aimed at hurting her husband. My wife is constantly looking for something to complain about, something else that needs to be done, repaired or bought. But the main male mistake here is that he only brushes off his wife like an annoying fly. Thus, it only makes the problem worse.

Try to completely change your tactics - meet her halfway. Is she itching again because you didn't change the light bulb in the hallway? Discuss with her in an ironic manner what color, size and shape of light bulb she needs. And, the next day, surprise her by finally hanging this ill-fated light bulb in its rightful place. Thus, fix minor problems around the house, do what you promised for a long time, but simply forgot to do or kept putting it off until later, show that you are ready to meet.

And then voice that you are still ready to provide assistance in any situation, but only on condition that the kind spouse learns to voice her requests clearly, clearly, and most importantly politely! This will allow you not to forget about the necessary things, and will also get rid of annoying grumbling. Women are far from stupid creatures; seeing that you are meeting them, they will also begin to take steps towards improving relationships.

Ways to stop your wife's hysterics

Regardless of the reason for the development of hysteria, it is impossible to leave a woman alone with this problem.

The first thing a husband should do is bring his beloved to a conversation and understand the reason for this behavior. Any aggression and denial on the part of the spouse will only aggravate the situation. You should show maximum understanding, listen to your wife to the end, prove that you love her, and are always ready to support her. This approach will defuse the situation and calm the hysterical person a little.

If your wife is hysterical, redirect her attention to something else. Talk to her about the child and his behavior. You can jokingly point out smudged lipstick or mascara. This will distract her from the pressing problem and give her the opportunity to calm down.

If all of the above methods are useless, you can choose a more radical way to calm her down: splash a glass of water on her face. Your wife won’t like this action, but at least it will somehow make her calm down.

What to do when your wife is a bitch

There are many different epithets and opinions about a woman who is a bitch. Some admire her equanimity, as well as her ability to always come out unscathed, others talk about her as a cold woman, sometimes even mention her fiery aggressiveness. But what to do when your wife is a bitch ? What should a husband do in such situations?

In the understanding of contemporaries, the word “bitch” describes a beautiful woman who knows how to present herself in a favorable light and enjoy male favor. Another version of a bitch could be a wife who constantly nags and demands something from her husband.

What to do when your wife is a bitch ? Such wives can be divided into two groups: hysterical and embittered women. Hysterical wives believe that anything can be achieved solely by reproaches, shouting and swearing. And therefore, her “conversation” constantly involves raised notes, which at times turn into screaming. She can find a reason for her hysteria in a matter of seconds. After listening to such a wife, one gets the impression that all her husband does is ruin her life. And if it occurs to him to confront her, then she will provide a lot of “evidence”, which will be mixed with crying and stories about her unhappy life. Even if the husband tries hard and earns good money, reproaches and complaints will always be present.

Embittered wives are sure that the husband must always be kept in good shape, which will make it easy to control the man. Bitch wives don’t notice that they quite often cross the line of what is permitted. Criticism gradually turns into humiliation, insults and ridicule. Regardless of her husband's successes, an embittered wife will always point out his "place" by citing the successes of other men and proving that her husband is an eternal loser. Soon the man simply gives up, believing that he is truly a loser.

Neither option will be the best. A wife who is a bitch can bring her husband to absolute psychological exhaustion. What to do when your wife is a bitch ?

The first and simplest solution that your friends can advise you is divorce. But how many families could have been saved if at least some effort had been made. When you were dating, your wife was completely different, so what caused the sweet girl to turn into a bitchy woman?

First of all, these are unfulfilled dreams. Women are inherently dreamers in life and her unfulfilled desires are instantly reflected in her emotions. She can blame the whole world, although very often she herself is to blame. Try to find out what she wanted and ensure that her dreams come true.

The second reason may be emotional dissatisfaction. Women act based on their emotions, while men act based on reason. The husband should tell his wife more often about his love, praise her even for the slightest trifles, this way you will reduce her desire to have hysterics.

The third reason is considered to be the resulting stereotypes. It is possible that your wife simply cannot get out of conflict situations in any other way. Maybe her mother or grandmother did the same. To help your wife, you need to introduce her to other women who are able to resolve conflicts using more constructive methods.

PS Leave your comments on the article, I will be glad to answer them. If the article was useful to you, then share it with your friends by clicking the social network buttons.

Professional treatment

A man must remember one important rule: if my wife is hysterical regularly, then this is not always a banal mood swing. Often the reason for this is serious mental disorders and neuroses.

In this case, she needs to see a psychotherapist, who will promptly correct the emotional disruption and help cure hysteria at an early stage.

At the initial stage, this disorder can be treated quite successfully. Chronic psychosis is treatable, but requires patience from the patient and her loved ones, since such therapy takes a lot of time.

Treatment and preventive measures

The main therapeutic measures to eliminate female hysteria are aimed at strengthening the central nervous system:

• active lifestyle;
• giving up bad habits of alcohol and drugs;
• adherence to sleep and rest patterns;
• balanced diet;
• relaxation therapy (physiotherapy).

To normalize hormonal levels and reduce the manifestation of autonomic neurosis, gynecologists prescribe medications. It includes such a complex of treatment and sedative therapy, mainly from natural ingredients: tincture of valerian, motherwort. Of the traditional medicines, Persen, Corvalol, Novopassit and Afobazol have a good sedative effect.